sea-mail

Shellphone

Ideally through flashy musical numbers.

I would strategically lose my wallet while I was being saved by her from drowning. Since mermaids can read English and have maps they can use from undersea wrecks, she would be able to determine where I live and I would go pick her up from the police station after she emerges naked from the sea at the statue of liberty with only my wallet as identification. Of course, I am depending on a lot of initiative from her. Also I would tell her NOT to interact with Eugene Levy in any way.

Hey that seems familiar.......

It's the plot of Jaws 4.

A mermaid strip club It would be part theme park, part bordello, part aquarium Surely that'd be worth at least four bits a gander

In fact, forget the theme park AND the aquarium

Oh simple, i'm scuba-diving. Boating is pretty fun too...Have a life-sized water tank on the boat for when she come and visit.

SONAR? lol😂

Letters in a corked bottle of course.

I'd send messages through her animal friends...

Guess I'm diving a whole lot more.

A huge fish tank. I’d also live steam everything to make some $$$

A bathtub

Depth charges over the side of a boat

Through Mermaid man and Barnacle boy, they will be my underwater liaisons.

scuba gear with a penis hole cut out.

I'd buy a houseboat and move into it.

Keep a siren nearby.

Welcome to the fish tank.

Morse cove

I'd give her a spawning she'd likely never forget! Then she would be looking for me so hard she would become a stalker. Stalkers make maintaining contact easy.