My very imaginative biological father wanted to name his chocolate Labrador who was the second largest pup in the litter Deuce. When my stepmother and I argued that was a stupid name for a dog, and was he really going to name the dog that, he says, Maybe! So instead he named the dog Maybe.
Dumbest dog I’ve ever met in my life, and I’m a dog groomer.
Ooh, that reminds me of our cat that we nicknamed Hamster Balls. She was a stray we picked up, had clearly had a lot of litters (wasn’t preggers or nursing thank goodness) and had a really distended belly. She had scabs on her feet from being on the hot LA asphalt, and was so flea ridden.
Took her to the vet for a spay and they shaved her pink tummy and the stitch they used kinda divided her belly. When she’d sit, she just looked like she had the biggest pink balls under her so Hamster Balls it was. If you don’t know what hamster balls look like… the ratio of ball to body is astounding. 😂
My brother named his cats King Henry the VIII, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and Max Headroom. Though in conversation it's usually King Henry, Mary Shelley, and Max.
They acted nothing like their namesakes, but 2 of 3's stories ended similarly. They were all from one litter, I went in for 2, left with all 3. I should have named the male George instead for the 3 Boleyn siblings. Henry passed from fatty liver disease at the very young age of 2. Mary, like her namesake, fell in love and went to live in the country with my roommate when he moved out. She's still there living her best life. Anne was the most attentian seeking but passed from cancer at 12.
When I worked at an animal shelter, the people who did the intake liked to give litters of kittens themed names like that (so like, John, George, and Ringo). Sometimes they wouldn't be human names, but plays on phrases. So one time we had a litter of three kittens named Tic, Tac, and Toe. It was cute when all three were there, but Toe was the last one to get adopted and a lot of people were like "why did you name this kitten Toe"?
Sometimes strays would get named based on where they were found (so like, a stray dog found near a McDonald's would get named Ronald). People sometimes were a little more literal...we had a cat named Porch Kitty for a few days before one of the black employees jokingly pointed out that the name was a little too close to a racial slur. He became Whiskers later that day.
We had 2 cats, brother and sister, named them Donnie & Marie. A friend of ours only had Orange cats and named them after characters on "WKRP in Cincinnati"
I knew someone who got a Labrador puppy and they let their toddler name the dog. She named it Chair! Lol, they kept the name and the dog was "Chair" for the rest of it's life. I thought it was funny and sweet.
I once let my friend's toddler name one of my pet rats. She chose "Dog." I changed the spelling to Dawg, but had fun for a couple of years confusing people when I'd talk about my pet "dog."
We have a guinea pig named growl. Bought when my daughter was 3. Three years later and I'm constantly having to explain that one. The second one is called Oreo so fairly standard. They are both really gentle and sociable.
I already quietly decided for myself that if further down the line we end up with another girl dog we have to name, she has to be Margarine. Even if it's generally shortened to Marge, we'd all know what's up
lmaooo as a teen I had a pair of lovebirds, their names were Tweeter and Woofer [i.e. speakers, this was prior to bird website] .... but for the life of me, I genuinely could not tell them apart. so their names were interchangeable. when one passed, I just used the name I liked best of the two for the remaining one 😭
[I've had birds most of my life, and I still to this day can't tell them apart in photos! they were just, a single unit]
I have a cat named Nugget and when I told my friends toddler my cats name I said “Nugget, like chicken nuggets” and now every time she sees my cat she yells “ITS CHICKEN!!!” No idea how her little brain only hung onto that part but it’s hilarious.
My sister had a cat she names Squeazel
We also had a calico my dad named Frau Fruff because she was extra judgmental and grumpy
My brother had a cat with a super fluffy tail tar he named Fluffy Duck (he was as 6)
I almost named my ball python Dog. My housemates talked me out of it, and while I'm happy with her name (Tiamat) I still think Dog would have been pretty funny.
I was about to travel and called my uncle over to help me take care of my cat. So 2 weeks into my vacation my uncle told me my car had gave birth to three kittens. He literally named one of them Dwayne the cat Johnson because he claimed it could raise only one eyebrow
My daughter wanted to name a cat “Cylinder”. My rabbit was Andrew McBunnyfluffs and my cats are Lemmy Kitmister and Burton Guster. My dad’s childhood dog was “Captain Morgan’s Dark Bum”.
My first dog is named Henri. The adoption place asked for a placeholder name until we could come back in a few weeks to pick him up (puppy). “What, like Henry?” The lady laughed and wrote it down. Name stuck, but my wife said it had to be spelled with an “i”. She has a thing about “i’s” apparently. Good name. Good dog.
Second one a few years later is Maci. Just throwing out names while the little puppy was tumbling around in the yard. That was the first she responded to. My wife said it had to be spelled with an “i”
I have, and have had, cats named Mike, Ralph, Morgan, John and Barbara (they were siblings), Willow (I also have a daughter named Willow. The cat came with the name and the child insisted we keep it) and a rabbit named Ronnie.
My favorite of those was a dog that my friend met - a Pomeranian named Chris. I don't know why it makes me laugh but I think it's the juxtaposition of the name and the breed.
I inherited a cat named Weasel. Sweet ginger boy, and as smart as the stereotype about orange kitties.
When I was a kid, the beagle's name was Hush Puppy, but I'm pretty sure that was short for Shut Up You Little Son of a Bitch.
And my kid and his roommates have a hedgehog named Kevin and a giant bulldog named Carol.
Hush Puppies were also a brand of shoes whose logo was a basset hound. I vaguely remember them from being a kid in the 80s…I think it was a little popular if a name for hound dogs for a bit.
I used to know someone who had a cat named “The Other”. We were all super confused at work as to why they would name their cat that. Where they horror or sci-fi fans? Did it look like an alien? Some cool story behind it? Nope. When they got it they just called it the other cat and that name stuck. 🤣💀
Our rat Toffee's nickname is Death Grip. She never wants to get picked up out of the cage and clings to the bars like a little maniac. Then we get her out of the cage and she has a grand time exploring and getting pets. Every time.
I’ve had cats named Metallica (mickey), Oriana (Orie), Princess dust bunny (Bunny), Kyoshiro (Kyo) and joker Liam quadpod rodrigo puggles morton (jokey-bob). If you cant tell, my sister and i had trouble deciding on a name for the last one.
I named my female cat Guillermo after the guy from what we do in the shadows not knowing she was a.girl cat until she was a bit older and the name stuck.
Not a weird name but we once felt a bit concerned seeing a Staffy pelting towards us till we heard the owner shouting in an exasperated voice ‘Neil! Neil come here!’
We gathered up our tiny Yorkies regardless, but more for Neil’s sake than theirs.
My sister is 7 years old she named her little dog woosh. Sometimes calls him little wooshy dog. My parents loved the name. The dog took to the name pretty fast.
I knew a guy who named his dog Mudflap, because of the way his balls hung under him. (The dog, I mean--at least that's the way it was explained.)
My very imaginative biological father wanted to name his chocolate Labrador who was the second largest pup in the litter Deuce. When my stepmother and I argued that was a stupid name for a dog, and was he really going to name the dog that, he says, Maybe! So instead he named the dog Maybe. Dumbest dog I’ve ever met in my life, and I’m a dog groomer.
Ooh, that reminds me of our cat that we nicknamed Hamster Balls. She was a stray we picked up, had clearly had a lot of litters (wasn’t preggers or nursing thank goodness) and had a really distended belly. She had scabs on her feet from being on the hot LA asphalt, and was so flea ridden. Took her to the vet for a spay and they shaved her pink tummy and the stitch they used kinda divided her belly. When she’d sit, she just looked like she had the biggest pink balls under her so Hamster Balls it was. If you don’t know what hamster balls look like… the ratio of ball to body is astounding. 😂
I’m crying this is the best one
This is the most Van Wilder comment I've read today.
“Jenn-ay” -from Forrest Gump lol
I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is
This made me laugh
My brother named his cats King Henry the VIII, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and Max Headroom. Though in conversation it's usually King Henry, Mary Shelley, and Max.
I'm with your brother on this. I named 3 of my cats, Henry Tudor, Anne Boleyn, and Mary Carey.
Damn, now I want to know more about the interactions between those 3 cats.
They acted nothing like their namesakes, but 2 of 3's stories ended similarly. They were all from one litter, I went in for 2, left with all 3. I should have named the male George instead for the 3 Boleyn siblings. Henry passed from fatty liver disease at the very young age of 2. Mary, like her namesake, fell in love and went to live in the country with my roommate when he moved out. She's still there living her best life. Anne was the most attentian seeking but passed from cancer at 12.
When I worked at an animal shelter, the people who did the intake liked to give litters of kittens themed names like that (so like, John, George, and Ringo). Sometimes they wouldn't be human names, but plays on phrases. So one time we had a litter of three kittens named Tic, Tac, and Toe. It was cute when all three were there, but Toe was the last one to get adopted and a lot of people were like "why did you name this kitten Toe"? Sometimes strays would get named based on where they were found (so like, a stray dog found near a McDonald's would get named Ronald). People sometimes were a little more literal...we had a cat named Porch Kitty for a few days before one of the black employees jokingly pointed out that the name was a little too close to a racial slur. He became Whiskers later that day.
they started out more as nicknames that turned into legal names, but i have had Big Kitty, Mama Kitty, and Baby Kitty
Eenie, meanie, minee, and moe. When only one was left, his bio had the explanation, not a mean cat, just second in the litter.
That cat would’ve be Portia if I found it
I like your brother
We had 2 cats, brother and sister, named them Donnie & Marie. A friend of ours only had Orange cats and named them after characters on "WKRP in Cincinnati"
I see nothing wrong with long names as long as there is a nickname the pet gets to know.
My sister named our cat King David growing up. Honestly, best cat ever.
I knew someone who got a Labrador puppy and they let their toddler name the dog. She named it Chair! Lol, they kept the name and the dog was "Chair" for the rest of it's life. I thought it was funny and sweet.
I knew a "Duck" and "Brick" named the same way! Good pups, I bonded with Brick especially when I babysat the kids
Our neighbor's dog was Fry Dog for the same reason.
I almost forgot - we got 2 kittens and I let the kids name them. 5 year old named theirs Crystal. 3 year old named theirs Meowmeow.
I personally went with Miss Kitty when naming the cat as a toddler.
I went with Miss Kitty when naming the cat as a 38 year old man with a post-grad education. So you were very sophisticated for a toddler.
As a kid, my mom wanted the blue dog so they got him and named him Blue. He was not blue
One of my nieces named her cat TV Show.
I once let my friend's toddler name one of my pet rats. She chose "Dog." I changed the spelling to Dawg, but had fun for a couple of years confusing people when I'd talk about my pet "dog."
When my brother was 4 he named the new dog Knackers
I’m a vet and would die laughing if someone brought in a dog named Chair. I love the unique names. Every third dog is Bella or Buddy
We have a guinea pig named growl. Bought when my daughter was 3. Three years later and I'm constantly having to explain that one. The second one is called Oreo so fairly standard. They are both really gentle and sociable.
*Do you belieeeeve in dog after dog*
My buddy has a Pug named Pants!, (not the end of the sentence, the exclamation is part of his name).
My buddy's dog is named Fart for the same reason.
My son named his chicken Lightning Bolt.
Duck
We took in a second dog just last summer. After waffling between "Brother" and "Buddy" my sister chimed in with "Butter". Guess which stuck
I've actually had the name butter on my list for if I end up getting a dog for the past 5ish years! I think it's so precious.
I already quietly decided for myself that if further down the line we end up with another girl dog we have to name, she has to be Margarine. Even if it's generally shortened to Marge, we'd all know what's up
Marge is still fantastic for a dog.
I know two dogs from the dog park who are brothers and named Waffles and Butters.
BUTTER DOGGGGG DOG W THE BUTTER ON IT
Nah my dog’s name is Butter. Not for the same reason, though. It was just because my family thought of it. (he’s a golden doodle)
My daughter had two goldfish named Orange and Orange. It was less confusing.
My sibling’s housemate had two goldfish, Calculus and Algebra. One died, she didn’t know which, so the remaining fish got renamed Math.
lmaooo as a teen I had a pair of lovebirds, their names were Tweeter and Woofer [i.e. speakers, this was prior to bird website] .... but for the life of me, I genuinely could not tell them apart. so their names were interchangeable. when one passed, I just used the name I liked best of the two for the remaining one 😭 [I've had birds most of my life, and I still to this day can't tell them apart in photos! they were just, a single unit]
I had a friend with a goldfish named Phart…. Pronounced Pu-heart!
[удалено]
My brother ended up with two rabbits because the POS neighbors moved off and abandoned them. Brother named them "Stew" and "Hassenpfeffer."
Not hasselhopp?
Met someone with a rolly polly little puppy she'd named "Chicken McNugget."
I have a cat named Nugget and when I told my friends toddler my cats name I said “Nugget, like chicken nuggets” and now every time she sees my cat she yells “ITS CHICKEN!!!” No idea how her little brain only hung onto that part but it’s hilarious.
My cat is named ‘Kitten Nugget’😆
Chance tha Crapper (Great Dane, very aptly named)
Knew a cat named princess Jacqueline... it was a male cat.
my friends had a female cat named Princess Mike Tyson.
Pwintheth Mike Tython
"Princess Jacqueline" lmao 🤣🤣
he sounds fabulous
When I was a kid we inherited a female cat named Simba. Endless comments of "wasn't Simba a male?"
My uncle named his cat Gladys when it was a baby and then they found out it was a boy and just kept him named Gladys.
One of my cats is named asbestos
One of my neighbors several years ago had a ginger cat named World War 3. That cat was a riot, I will say, so the name was quite fitting.
r/oneorangebraincell
lol. my male cat is named Loki. he sure lives up to the name...🤣
Looks pretty but will kill you?
That’s fucking awesome
My cat’s name is Cinnamon Toast David Crunch
Neighbor had a really rowdy dog named Damnit👍
I had a cat named Sir Clancy Mowers III.
This amazing.
A rat named sweatpants
I had a very sweet Dumbo rat named Pignose. His little snoot was very pink!
Best one so far
Squirgle..... It was a rabbit a friend of mine once had. I don't know why squirgle but squirgle 😅
Sounds like a Pokémon 😭
I had a leopard gecko names Mister sir squiggles 😭
Hopping on to the made-up names bandwagon, my brother named his dog Skootch-key. I don't know why skootchkey, but skootchkey.
My sister had a cat she names Squeazel We also had a calico my dad named Frau Fruff because she was extra judgmental and grumpy My brother had a cat with a super fluffy tail tar he named Fluffy Duck (he was as 6)
[удалено]
I almost named my ball python Dog. My housemates talked me out of it, and while I'm happy with her name (Tiamat) I still think Dog would have been pretty funny.
"I don't know why everyone gets upset when I take my Dog for a walk!"
My friend named her boa constrictor Sabaca which turned out to be Russian for dog.
D-OGee
Ours was Dee O'Gee
I knew a couple who had a Dee O’Gee and a Cee Ay’Tee.
Its the one n only DO DOUBLE G!
Had a mate who called his diogi
My best friend named her cats white cat and black cat. At least I always knew which one she was talking about!
This just reminded me. One of my coworkers recently lost his beloved dog, White Boy.
I always called my first dog, "Dog". His name from the rescue kennel was Sam, but Dog seemed to fit better, so Dog he became. He didn't care.
There was a duck named Sunday Dinner...
I was about to travel and called my uncle over to help me take care of my cat. So 2 weeks into my vacation my uncle told me my car had gave birth to three kittens. He literally named one of them Dwayne the cat Johnson because he claimed it could raise only one eyebrow
Dog named Shit Ears used to come into my vet's office.
“Bobilicious” was what Petco named the cat me and my sisters adopted. We (in other words my older sister) renamed him Ghost
My friend has a corgi named Keys. He liked to play on the toddler piano when they brought him home 🤷♀️
My daughter wanted to name a cat “Cylinder”. My rabbit was Andrew McBunnyfluffs and my cats are Lemmy Kitmister and Burton Guster. My dad’s childhood dog was “Captain Morgan’s Dark Bum”.
I love when people name their pets completely normal people names. I've met a cat named Daniel and a dog named Kevin.
My first dog is named Henri. The adoption place asked for a placeholder name until we could come back in a few weeks to pick him up (puppy). “What, like Henry?” The lady laughed and wrote it down. Name stuck, but my wife said it had to be spelled with an “i”. She has a thing about “i’s” apparently. Good name. Good dog. Second one a few years later is Maci. Just throwing out names while the little puppy was tumbling around in the yard. That was the first she responded to. My wife said it had to be spelled with an “i”
I have, and have had, cats named Mike, Ralph, Morgan, John and Barbara (they were siblings), Willow (I also have a daughter named Willow. The cat came with the name and the child insisted we keep it) and a rabbit named Ronnie.
I have a dog named Bernard. I couldn't imagine naming him anything else. The people name suits him.
My cats name is Earl
I knew a guy with a hamster named "Todd."
My favorite of those was a dog that my friend met - a Pomeranian named Chris. I don't know why it makes me laugh but I think it's the juxtaposition of the name and the breed.
I had one called Gordon and he was the best
My dogs name was Grant.
Haha, I've named cats normal people names like Maddi and Noah
My sister had a dog named Gary
We have a cat named Brian!
My cats are Dennis and Deandra
She named her female dog after a woman she didn't like because "she's a bitch"
My mate has a dog called Deefa… D for dog
Friend had a cat called Ceefa!
Hahahaha I really like this one.
Cat named Windows 95; perfect name
My cat's name is Prince Fhqwhgads, First of His Name
De-oh-gee (D-O-G)
Reminds me of Milo Murphy's Law
A friend of a friend rescued a cat from Egypt and she just called him „The Egyptian“
We had a cat named “Passwordphishing”…
Rahab, for a dog apparently it's from the Bible I amuse myself by thinking of it as Rehab lol
I definitely read it as Rehab first
I saw a lady giving a very stern lecture to a dog named Eldon. That’s my dad’s name! 😂
haha that's my stepdads name. Well, Elden with an E like Elden Ring
When I did Wag, I walked a Concrete and a Hamburger on the same day.
We had a Chihuahua named Possum, since he was just the most rodent goblin looking motherfucker. Love that boy.
It’s my time to shine! We have cats named Fat Snat, Black Snat, and Kitten Nugget. I have a horse named Hiccup, and had a dog called The Snoog🤷♀️
When my mom was a kid she had a cat named JB Schmidlops. I spelled it phonetically because I'm not sure of the real spelling.
I inherited a cat named Weasel. Sweet ginger boy, and as smart as the stereotype about orange kitties. When I was a kid, the beagle's name was Hush Puppy, but I'm pretty sure that was short for Shut Up You Little Son of a Bitch. And my kid and his roommates have a hedgehog named Kevin and a giant bulldog named Carol.
Hush Puppies were also a brand of shoes whose logo was a basset hound. I vaguely remember them from being a kid in the 80s…I think it was a little popular if a name for hound dogs for a bit.
Mr. McBooty Ham Sammich
I had a cat named No Name and one named Amadaus
My moms two dogs are Klaus Michaelson and Raven. My son named one of our cats Sly Cooper.
I used to know someone who had a cat named “The Other”. We were all super confused at work as to why they would name their cat that. Where they horror or sci-fi fans? Did it look like an alien? Some cool story behind it? Nope. When they got it they just called it the other cat and that name stuck. 🤣💀
We had a cat named bagel when I was a kid. It was because I saw an episode of ALF where he was hypnotizing the car into thinking it was a bagel.
I have a friend with a son named Felix and a dog named Steve
My cats name is Velcro. She sticks to everything with her damn claws! Legs, curtains....
Our rat Toffee's nickname is Death Grip. She never wants to get picked up out of the cage and clings to the bars like a little maniac. Then we get her out of the cage and she has a grand time exploring and getting pets. Every time.
Reese’s Puppy Cups
Worked at a vet clinic and I had so much fun getting to walk into the waiting room and call “Murder Face” and his owners back to a room.
I have a cat named Mushroom
Detective Olivia Benson. I should state it's not bad or wrong, but iv never heard anyone else use it as a name.
One of Taylor Swift’s cats is named Olivia Benson…
My son named his hamster Thomas after the train, but he thought it was a lobster. His name became “Thomas the Lobster.”
A fish called tax evasion
I’ve had cats named Metallica (mickey), Oriana (Orie), Princess dust bunny (Bunny), Kyoshiro (Kyo) and joker Liam quadpod rodrigo puggles morton (jokey-bob). If you cant tell, my sister and i had trouble deciding on a name for the last one.
My cat’s name is **Stormageddon: Dark Lord of All**. It’s from Doctor Who. What do I win? Lol.
Black Dog. It was a Black Lab.
Former friend wanted to name his dog the N word because he really just wanted to be able to say it with impunity
My dad named our cat Rodan
Elon Musk has a pet human named Techno Mechanicus
My cat’s name was Thirty Steps of Death. TSoD (tee-sawd) for short.
I thought this was soooo mean. A girl named her beautiful chocolate lab “ dirtbag” .
Fax machine for a cat. I wish I was joking. I’m in cat rescue and have seen thousands of names. They had an existing cat named Telephone.
Heard a guy when I was on holiday calling to his dogs iPad and Toaster. One of our cats is called Toast.
My mom’s loser boyfriend had a pitbull named Mugger Fugger. He was a good boi but wow, his dad was a real piece of shit! RIP muggs ❤️
Willie, only because the last name was “Large”. Owner’s name was Peter 🙃
Stew. It was a snow white cat
Asshead. I thought it was Acid, but no, it was Asshead. It was a boxer.
I named my female cat Guillermo after the guy from what we do in the shadows not knowing she was a.girl cat until she was a bit older and the name stuck.
Not a weird name but we once felt a bit concerned seeing a Staffy pelting towards us till we heard the owner shouting in an exasperated voice ‘Neil! Neil come here!’ We gathered up our tiny Yorkies regardless, but more for Neil’s sake than theirs.
I have dogs named Angus Beef and Marty McRib.
Pestilence On Our Finances. Tilly for short.
Grammy named the cat that comes by “Nancy” Grammy is completely aware of the cat being MALE
horangi like horangi from call of duty
A dog that was named Diogi (dog) and a cat named ceayte (cat)
We adopted a cat from the spca and his name was Seth Rogan. We changed it pretty quickly!
Frying Pan
Crack rock.
His 2 geckos were called Sanka and Derys. He also had a bulldog puppy called Dennis 2 because it looked exactly like its dad Dennis
My friend has two cats she let her kid name. At first they were Shadow and White Sonic. Now their Gilbert and Gertrude
A streamer/youtuber I follow called his dog Kevin Bubbles Malone Refrigerator Jimmy Mad-Eye Dugan No, I'm not kidding
Either Barf or Fatboy. Source: Dog boarding facility employee here.
Captain Sparkles. He didn’t actually care about the cat. Even left her when he moved.
I had a cat named Fatso....
A friend from back in the day named her cat Teabaggin’
When I was little, the neighbor's black cat was named Booger Snot.
My dad had a Doberman Pinscher named Hitler
I believe there is a famous internet cat named Princess Monster Truck or some such.
Some family had the last name Doody, they named their dog Khalua. Khalua Doody.
I knew chihuahua named bottle cap
Nodrog. Which was the owner's name spelled backwards.
my friend's mom had a dog (died like a year ago) whom she named him Boba Tea......it was a doberman
Tugboat. It was a chicken
My sister is 7 years old she named her little dog woosh. Sometimes calls him little wooshy dog. My parents loved the name. The dog took to the name pretty fast.
My brother came across a guy one time who had a black lab named a certain racial expletive. Hard r too.
Fart and Cocaïne. But to each their own, I guess...?
Boner the Ferret
My cats are Toaster & Blender.
My cat's name is Karl.
[Whenever I hear the name Karl](https://youtu.be/kZUPCB9533Y?si=3JdXC8YCF-ErdMct)