This therapist I had for a while... I was depressed and I was unable to make myself get up and do anything, and my weight had really gotten out of hand. Finally, I started a) going to therapy and b) going to a nutritionist for some help getting back in shape. I started hitting the gym, too. I was feeling pretty good about it, and even a little proud of myself which is very rare for me.
I shared that with my therapist. My therapist was a very large woman. Not morbidly obese, but she was very heavy. So when I told her that I was doing all this, she started asking me all about why I wanted to lose weight, and then asked me if I watched the show "My 600 Pound Life," which I'd never heard of. She went on and on about how the people on that show were very heavy but none of them had had a heart attack.
I think I accidentally trod on one of *her* trigger points. But I really got it both barrels from her about society and weight. All this because I wanted to be more active and in better shape.
I stopped going to see her.
and even for the ones that didn’t, the core premise of that show is that being so heavy is killing them slowly or at least ruining their quality of life, and they need to make drastic changes to become healthy. really can’t understand how you’d watch it and have your takeaway be “being 600lb is fine actually!”
I think you made the right call there and good on you for getting into better shape.
One of the most common things of people seeking psychology degrees is mentally unwell people wanting to understand themselves better.
Usually that works itself out and those people are naturally weeded from the career field, but it sounds like you may have met the outlier that slipped through and had a practice.
Ages ago I did conversion therapy. It left lasting damage. I moved to the middle of North Carolina for work and decided real therapy might be a good idea, although I was anxious about it. I checked ahead of time to make sure it wouldn't be religious - emailed, talked to someone on the phone, etc. Second session in the therapist told me my problem was spiritual and that's different than religion
I had a therapist tell me that I faked everything I'd been through to get attention, and that I couldn't have such a history without having childhood trauma. Never went back. Also had a guy fall asleep during a session.
It was bad because she was right, and at the time I was too emotionally immature to hear it.
She told me that I blamed other people for my problems, and that I was the cause of my own suffering. And even though what happened to me wasn’t my fault, it was still my responsibility to do something about it. Otherwise, I’d be stuck in a vicious cycle.
It sucked at the time, but honestly I was being a bitch. She’s still my therapist to this day.
Female therapist. This woman did 90% of the talking during sessions and made only a token effort to help me, but I kept going back to her because I was in a rut and she was my only human relationship. I think she decided early on that I wasn't worth helping and that she would just milk me for simp coin instead.
Finally, after two years, I was desperate enough to try and open up to her about some traumatic shit that had happened to me in childhood. She didn't want to know and swiftly changed the subject. That was the last straw and I fucking ghosted her.
Good for you! Thats an awful experience.
Marriage Counsellors never tell anyone they should get Divorced… they will invite you to plenty of therapy though…
I am skeptical about the whole field.
Tried desperately to dissuade me from getting the covid vaccine and then started rambling conspiracy nonsense and telling me to get right with God. Nope nope nope. I reported her and quit therapy for a while.
I started my son on therapy to help him deal with ADHD and some other issues, which later led to an autism diagnosis. The first therapist we saw literally instructed us to feed him nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and milk every time he disobeyed and to strip his room down to only a mattress and dresser until he gave in. He told our son we would do all this so he'd better shape up.
He said, I quote, "your parents are only legally obligated to feed and house you. If you get only peanut butter sandwiches, they are still fulfilling their parental obligations to fed you. If you refuse to eat them, that's on you."
Suffice to say, me and my husband were so HORRIFIED we called the guy a pycho and ended the appointment right there and then. The next day, we got a different therapist.
TL;DR: A therapist literally instructed us to essentially starve our son and strip him of any and all enrichment to force our son to be submissive to us.
I had a therapist who kept trying to plug his own book to me, and trying to get me to purchase it. He also made me cry in session by calling me an addict and saying I needed to be in rehab immediately for marijuana (I was living in California at the time!).
Was this therapist in either LA County or Kern County (the guy I’m thinking of practices in both counties)? The whole time I was seeing this guy, he did the same thing, plug his book. He seemed to have thought of himself as another Jesus Christ. he kept talking about this technique that he supposedly came up with, and that’s all he ever wanted to do in sessions. And he kept talking about his book that he wrote on the subject.
There was this one time that there was some kind of miscommunication on his part. I was going to his office, and I saw that he was standing in the doorway, talking to someone else. I thought that maybe he was still talking to his last client before the guy left. So, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, he had already closed his door. I left, because I thought that maybe he didn’t see that he saw that as a cancellation, so, I figured maybe he decided to talk to the last guy a little bit longer. When I saw him the next week, he apologized, saying that he didn’t think that I was going to show up. so, to make up for it, he gave me a free copy of his book.
"You don't have bipolar disorder - you just have rapid cycling depression." Also: "I cant treat your relationships if they're same-sex." - A psychologist I saw for nearly 20 years, after a) my psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and 2) I revealed I was gay.
You are correct. She was not qualified for what I was experiencing at that time and I needed to switch.
ETA: the assistance I had from the ‘unqualified’ therapist is what helped me work through other issues that lead to the adhd symptoms coming out.
I had one marriage therapist tell me and my husband at the time that him looking elsewhere made sense if I wasn’t putting out. So he proceeded to treat me even more like crap. I had another therapist kill herself, I’d been seeing her for about 6 months due to postpartum and trying to kill myself.
This year has been a very bad year, several bad things have happened in my personal and professional life, I went to a therapist because of depression and they brushed it off saying that i was just sad, that it would pass. it has been 6 months, it hasn't passed
Aw man, that's rough. Not just that you've been through the wringer the past year, but being brushed off like that can really punch you in the gut. I see you man, and good job getting this far by the way 👏
I hope you find someone better to talk things out with - I know it took me several attempts to find a match I could feel comfortable opening up to in a meaningful way. "You're just sad" isn't an excuse for a therapist to do nothing, the sadness is literally why you're there!
If you're really struggling, it paradoxically makes it even harder to be proactive about getting the help you need, so remember to be patient with yourself. ❤️
Thank you, I am doing partially better, still need help and I'm in the look but I'm moving places soon so I'd keep on that when Im done with the moving.
Luckily I am surrounded by good and caring people and I kinda have some tools to not be overwhelmed by the intrusive thoughts, plus I know that I am going to be good at some point, so that helps hanging in there.
I had one go off on how he could see through all my bullshit and I was the problem.
It was the 90s, I was just 12 or 13 - it was slightly before the courts (thankfully) took me out of my home. I can't remember his name but I know precisely where the building was.
I had fallen asleep because it was the one spot where I thought I wouldn't keep getting my ass beat.
female therapist, probably about 20-25 years my senior at the time. i was about 16-17, and out of the blue as i was explaining how self aware i am of my issues but that i didn’t know how to solve them - she blurted out ‘i don’t think i can help you anymore, i don’t know how’
Was in couples therapy. Hubs and I are both sad and emotionally exhausted and trying to explain our pain to this new person. “But you’re both so attractive!” 😐
"well you might be binge eating, but your weight seems normal and at least you're not on coke like your sister!" Said by a university counsellor when I went to a walk in after both parents had major medical events and my sister got hit by a bus
One therapist (who I refused to keep seeing afterwards) implied that there was something about me that specifically attracted abusers into my life, as if getting SA by a stranger was my fault and I was the one that needed to change to not make it happen again...
opened up and got deep..
the Doc and I had clicked…
but then the Doc took my stories about my past… asked a bunch of oddly specific questions… not for MY benefit… as an investigation into these people in my stories..
AND decided people are still in danger from these people I no longer associate with…
and without any evidence of ongoing crime…
informed the Police because of Duty to Report laws.
She proudly told me. If they get charged. I can sue for damages!
Like I should be excited… She said it like a teenage girl going. Daddy got me a pony!!
I would be dead. People who testify against these people get in the paper as murdered.
She is completely disconnected at believing me so much she goes to the Cops… Excited for Justice!!
But doesnt believe me because shes willing to put my life in danger trying to get charges filed?
Cancelled!
Nothings going to happen. Everything I said is so old. Police are so busy.
Absolutely betrayed. I do not understand this at all. She seemed really sweet and caring.
I was manic and very hypersexual years ago, and my therapist told me my urge to have sex with every woman I knew was pretty normal behavior and I shouldn't worry about it.
He was a name dropper. "Oh yeah, Danielle was in here this morning talking about a similar situation." I rationalized it thinking "well, he didn't say her LAST name." But the next session he mentioned a very specific job title at a local company and how this man was the reason his daughter was in therapy. And the next time when I told him I finally got up the nerve to break up with my narcissist, he said he just HAD to give me a hug for that.
One- My tattoos are tacky and prove I’m unreliable.
I have three - all memorials for people I lost. Only one is visible.
Yes, I quit this therapist over this.
Two- Have I found a job to help my mom with bills and was I ready to move out?
I was in my last year of college working on a teaching degree. I bought my own gas and food, paid for my education, and gave my mom half of my paycheck from a part time job.
Quit this therapist, too.
so..... she was right?? and you admitted she was right in your post even? and seems like you had "severe anxiety" to seek another therapist out??? isn't it crazy how ridiculous anxiety can make us feel? LOL
There's being right about facts, and there's the right way to handle things.
Yes, anxiety leads the sufferer to conclusions that an observer finds ridiculous. But it *feels real*. It feels real and terrifying and overwhelming, and that *feeling* is important. And you can't just tell yourself (or someone else) "oh, this anxiety is ridiculous" and have it vanish, any more than you could tell someone experiencing nerve pain that what they're feeling is ridiculous (because nothing is actually *hurting them*) and they should just ignore it. Especially because anxiety at its core is a self-defense mechanism — we *all* get anxious about dangerous things, and we should. It's just that people with anxiety get anxious about non-dangerous things, too, and they need help recalibrating their anxiety-meters. Not ridicule.
A better way for the therapist to respond would have been to validate marchichana's feelings, let her know that what she's experiencing might feel real but isn't rooted in the real world, and help her learn how to manage these feelings so they don't impede her everyday life. Instead, the therapist just made marchi feel stupid for bringing it up, which did the opposite of help.
Everyone who goes into medicine says they like helping people, but some of them like being right about things and showing off how smart they are even more. Those people don't help.
freshman year in highschool. i was describing my new and first girlfriend to him (who i ended up being with for almost 5 years) and he goes "sounds like a recipe for disaster." that was our last meeting.
She made me rock back and forth on my feet while rotating balls in my hands, while reciting the alphabet backwards. Yes, this is apparently a real technique, and yes, it doesn't work.
When I was a teenager I had a therapist suggest greeting strangers in public as a way to improve my confidence and social isolation.
It went about as well as you'd expect. I still have no idea what he was thinking.
I genuinely don’t have an answer to this, he’s chill as fuck and he’s been a really positive part of my life during a really hard time. It’s not like a single negative moment would undermine all that, but there really hasn’t been those moments
I met a few wacky therapists before my current therapist. I’ve never met the woman in person but, I knew from the first meeting we would click. She’s amazing and I lucked out.
My first and only therapist was nice enough and I went to her for a few months. In hindsight though, I realized she didn’t help at all. She is white and I’m Asian American. She kept circling back that my anxiety problems MUST have stemmed from my mother not being emotionally there for me because that was the Asian trope. For months I loathed my mother and tried to figure out how to cope. I stopped seeing the therapist because I couldn’t afford it and finally was put on anxiety meds. My mother and I are doing super well and I realized I just had a chemical imbalance. My mom was actually not part of the Asian trope of parents not showing affection and I stopping pretending she was when I no longer had an outside force pushing that idea.
Even if Asian parents are part of the trope, it's usually less "not showing affection" and more "not showing affection in a way we whities are familiar with"
There are many asian content creators out there who say that they wished that their mothers would say "I am proud of you" or "I love you" to them.
Wanting to be told these things are universal human wants. They have notjing to do with "what a certain race is familiar with". Whitey isn't a nice word to use.
So a subset of people who were selected for by American viewers agree with the trope? And that's your proof? Please tell me more about how the term whitie is offensive and does serious harm like stereotyping a large subset of people based on a few you know.
You're right, many people of both cultures would appreciate clear communication, something both cultures struggle with. Unfortunately for your high horse position that's not the norm for either culture. Speaking of, I find it interesting your high horse implies that one culture has it correct and the other doesn't.
"You're not capable of happiness; all we can do is help you manage the unhappiness."
By contrast, my current therapist once told me that she thinks *the grief I carry* will never go away, but I can learn to coexist with it/integrate it into myself in such a way that won't be distressing to me. Which reminded me of that first statement when she said it, but it's *so different*!
Other ~~winners~~ losers:
* The therapist who'd never heard of polyamory or ethical non-monogamy, so I had to explain it to her over the course of several sessions. She wasn't judgmental, and in fact was fascinated, but it quickly became clear she couldn't help me and just wanted to learn from me.
* The therapist who repeatedly forgot she'd scheduled me; the last time she showed up 30 minutes late with her dog and Starbucks.
* The therapist who spent our whole session (4-5pm) watching the clock and the last ten minutes finishing my sentences for me so she could hurry me out.
* The therapist who didn't believe me when I described the side effects of the medication I was taking, because "those aren't documented side effects" (well they started when I started the med and stopped when I stopped, lady).
* The therapist who told me that my anxiety about arriving places on time (which led to me consistently arriving places \~5 min late, because I was convinced I couldn't arrive too early) was a behavioral issue and I needed to just get over it.
* The therapist who told me I sounded like I was stressed but otherwise okay (I was suicidal).
* The several therapists who refused to believe I was depressed or anxious because I was able to hold down jobs and relationships (even though I cried in their offices about my fear of losing both).
* The many therapists who advised me to watch sunrises and list my blessings and/or give my problems to God (I did, and God told me to fucking seek therapy).
It took me twenty years and I don't even know how many therapists to find my current one. I've been with her for a decade now and she's a fucking godsend. So even though some therapists suck, that doesn't mean the right one isn't waiting somewhere. Hang in there!
Former therapist lied about their interaction withy employer. They said they had no interaction with them at all. Two weeks later I got a new supervisor. She told me that I should ‘start smoking weed’ when I asked her about why should would lie about that. I worked for the government.
I did report her to the licensing board. I also turned her in for smelling of marijuana 3x. She stopped being allowed to do therapy at the hospital and was assigned to more managerial duties.
Went to a therapist who, after a couple of sessions started tossing in random quotes from Bob Dylan songs, without attribution. Well I’d listened to a bit of Dylan and after 3 or 4 times I called him out on it. He was super embarrassed. It was strange and although a minor thing it was enough to make me not trust him so I stopped seeing him.
It wasn’t something she said. It was the look of absolute horror on her face when I opened up about a tiny piece of my childhood trauma. And then the silence as she had to process what I said. And then she really didn’t have anything to say. She mumbled some memorized line about being sorry that happened to me, but she had exactly no clue how to proceed. We talked about meaningless shit for the rest of the appointment and I gave up on therapy for awhile.
Told me everything was clearly my fault and I seek to cause drama for myself, because yes my parents messy divorce , my brother anger issues and my commitment phobic partner (now ex) were all my own fault
Not exactly what he said but how he always turned the conversations into being about him. I was a depressed 18 year old kid and he's whining to me about his divorce and cocaine addiction... Like man who's paying who?
My cousin was killed in 2020 when he'd been having trouble sleeping so one of his coworkers gave him a sleeping pill. Whatever he was given, it was laced with fentanyl and he OD'd. I was talking about it to my last therapist and she heavily insinuated that my cousin, who'd never done drugs in his life, had recently gotten a promotion, and was in a new relationship, was secretly a drug addict who had been looking for a fix that went wrong.
I only know this from my family telling me, apparently I blocked it out.
Seems my two younger sisters and mother and I all went to a family counselor to help us sort out trouble we were collectively having at home. Mom was always at work or school trying to provide for and improve her ability to provide for 3 kids, while the kids were raising ourselves.
Seems I was the root of all the problems at home, according to this therapist. My family never go into details but just tell me they know he was wrong but damn, that must have struck a nerve for me.
That I was entitled for wanting my disability recognised and supported because she was dyslexic and she'd managed to make something of herself, so why did I need the DSP? And that I was broken for not wanting a sexual relationship.
Not me but my partner got told by a therapist that true unconditional love is real and that they just hadn't found it yet. And that all of their problems are their mum's fault.
I was losing a job and a pet of 14 years who I couldn't see because of lockdown and was at the brink of losing the place because of lack of job. I thought therapy would help but I heard I am selfish and should think of others now and go out and volunteer somewhere and give back to the community.
Mid-80’s my parents were in the middle of a nasty separation/divorce. My dad was physically abusive to my mom so we went to a women’s shelter and they got us lined up with therapy in the next weeks. Our therapist was a turd. He fell asleep in several session with my siblings and told me “I can’t help you through this, your parents are divorced you’ll never have a normal life, normal healthy relationships”. I was 10!!! Such a turd.
Made fun of me for something that wasn't funny at all....i regret choosing them, in my gut I knew after the first meeting they weren't the right fit but tried session's with them anyway. Always listen to your intuition.
I had a therapist once that just spoke and had a face like she thought I was a weirdo. I wasn’t even telling her something that crazy, it was just friend drama I was working through. I also tried to tell her that while I was in a decent place right now, I was moving to a new state shortly and I know it’s going to be difficult for me and would be best to be proactive and get ahead of it. She didn’t help and just kept asking why I was there. I moved, it was extremely difficult as I predicted but thankfully I’m fine now
I was in therapy, This really happened: my
Doctor was Male, After a while talking He said
To me: Sit on my Lap, it’s part of your therapy:
I reported him, It upset me for long time
Nothing happened to him. Therefore, I try
To stay away from the Medical Field as much as
I can.
Not in therapy anymore (I don't feel like getting scammed anymore) -
My final therapist helpfully told me I should be happy I was in an abusive relationship because that means I had something worth being taken advantage of for
Because I didnt have the words or awareness to explain that I had trauma I needed help with, I said "it's like I have this rotten garbage stored away that I need to unpack, air out, and process".
That was met with "ok, but what if you just \~let it all go\~ and became \~free\~from it?" (that was my first and last visit)
So to anybody reading this, please make sure you find the right therapist before writing it off. Especially if you're any kind of minority. Can't try only one pair of shoes at the store unless you know for sure it's absolutely a good fit.
A member of the mental health crisis team told me: "your friends and family don't want to be around you because of your mental illness". Being in a mental health crisis and unable to think clearly I thought "ok. I'll do them a favour and disappear then". I was found over 100 miles away and had to be rushed to a hospital.
I (infantry combat Vet) Was seeing a VA therapist for major depression/PTSD. During a session he never looked at me and only responded with short generic responses. I realized he wasn't listening to me so, just to get a reaction, I said "I'm gonna go home and kill myself after this." I will never forget his response, he said "Okay, anything else?" While never looking away from his computer. I got up and left without another word and he didn't even notice. I reported it on my way out saying I'll never see him again. The nurse just looked resigned like I wasn't the first to say something like that. This was 2016. People wonder why over 22 vets intentionally quit life every day.
A therapist that I saw when I was in a very bad way (started having flashbacks about SA from previous relationship), & she tried to tell me to end my relationship with my very supportive husband. She spent a whole therapy session trying to talk me into it. Fortunately, the fog lifted by the time I got home and I told my husband about it and I said I didn't want to go to her anymore so we changed to a new therapist for me.
Beeeeen theeeeereee.
Edit: Downvoting this comment was weird. Your therapist should know enough that you're not having to teach them what your mental illness is.
Not so much said as did. I was hospitalized after a suicide attempt when I was in my late teens. After several weeks of inpatient treatment, my personal therapist, the hospital psychiatrist, the hospital social worker and my mom all agreed that I was ready to be released to continue outpatient treatment; my dad, on the other hand, did not (mostly because I didn't agree with him and his attitude towards me at the time) and he intimidated me hospital psychologist who was in charge of my treatment into keeping me there. I ended up telling him (the psychologist) that we both knew why I was still there, and either he gave me his word that I would be released on my birthday 3 days later, or I would sign a 3-day release form (I was already 18 and had voluntarily committed myself) and he could explain to the board that evaluated me why he was the only one who didn't agree I was ready to go. I ended up not having to sign anything and was released on my birthday, but I realistically spent an extra week hospitalized than I really needed to be.
(And before anybody decides to Reddit cares me, this was decades ago and I'm not in any danger to or from myself or others.)
Not necessarily "said," but I've had two therapists ghost me where they flake on our upcoming appointment and then seemingly become impossible to reach to reschedule an appointment with. Which is a nightmare when I'm not able to see their practice's psychiatrist if I'm not seeing their therapist monthly, and me not being able to reach the therapist doesn't give me any special exceptions even if it's not my fault.
I never really got any closure the first time, I tried talking to the practice's receptionist about it like, hey, if I can't schedule an appointment with X, can you assign me to somebody else, I need my meds and the psychiatrist won't see me? They dragged their feet helping me and I had to give them an ultimatum to help me or I'll go somewhere else by the upcoming Friday... and they called me at like 4:10 PM (they closed at 5 PM) on that last Friday, literally the fucking final hour!!! Told them that I already scheduled a new appointment elsewhere and that I was incredibly frustrated because I was ghosted, the other practice's staff didn't help me at all, and I was out of my fucking meds (and not getting therapy for like 2 months)!
Then a later practice ghosted me, ugh... they seemed to enshittify after a few people quit, they reassigned me to a new case manager after mine quit and she was impossible to reach, I think I only talked to her once and she just didn't seem very approachable, I felt like I was just another file added to her load. Then during my last video chat appointment with the psychiatrist there, I told his receptionist to reschedule me in another month and text/call me when my next appointment is, and it just never happened.
I tried calling them when I was getting low on meds like hey, do I have an appointment, I haven't gotten any calls or anything? I was told by their receptionist (who was unusually cold rather than her usual friendly "hey, how are ya?!" self) that they sent me a letter asking if I still wanted to be their patient, which I never even received by the way, and since I didn't reply, they closed my patient case. Okay, so you allegedly sent me a letter and when I didn't reply, you didn't try to call me to ask if I even fucking got it?
Frustrating, but I asked if they could just reopen my case and I was told no, I'd have to do admission paperwork again so I scheduled an appointment, and I never got a phone call the day before confirming my appointment, I'm not sure if they ghosted me again or just didn't bother to actually schedule me. Even though I was out of meds at that point, so what the fuck? Completely unprofessional to ghost me as a patient especially since withdrawing from psych meds can be hell with certain meds. And they knew about my previous psych place ghosting me so what the fuck!
My current psych place seems to be enshittifying and I'm feeling uneasy all over again tbh, they got a new psychiatrist like mid/late last year who seems to think that people are overmedicated and keeps trying to hassle me to go off medication (even though I agreed to go off one, it's just not enough for him) even though I went through a very traumatic event last year and am still dealing with the grief and trauma so I don't wanna "rawdog" these emotions when I'm still struggling WHILE on medication, and it felt like I had to argue for my case every other appointment.
Plus, my therapist rescheduled on me twice from going on vacation twice (inconvenient but not inherently bad, I'm sure a lot of psych professionals get overwhelmed by "absorbing" their patients' emotions) and his schedule is packed where I was seeing him like once a month and he didn't really add much input for me to really get anything out of appointments so I'm in the process of getting set up at a different place since the current psychiatrist at this place sucks anyway, might as well go elsewhere if I need to look for a new therapist and not deal with this hack ever again.
Got appointments with a new place's case manager, therapist, and psychiatrist (all separate appointments and people) this upcoming week and I'm nervous about it, lol, I feel like mentioning that I've been ghosted twice makes me look like a red flaggy patient...
Ooh, oof.
So I experienced a violent sexual assault in 2019. Due to the outcome being so heartbreaking and myself left with no closure, the wound has taken its time to heal and I will always face issues because of it.
I told my therapist that I have intrusive thoughts, and they are common for me, but I have never and will never act on them. I was sure to explain to her that these thoughts are not wanted, and I will never act on them, they simply exist. Next I told her that my intrusive thoughts include killing my rapist. I pressed repeatedly that the thoughts are unwanted and I do not entertain them, but they persist. I explained that I think I have them because I feel such a strong sense of injustice, from how the legal proceedings went and the conclusion ultimately destroyed me. I said I think I feel this remaining anger and pain because I haven’t been able to get what I consider closure for what happened, and until I enter a state of mind where I can move past this situation, it will remain a part of my everyday life and the intrusive thoughts will persist from time to time. Im not burdened by them they aren’t constant. Just consistent.
Her response was to ask me very carefully, if I had any intention of acting out these desires to kill him. It absolutely shattered me. I was so afraid to open up in case she misunderstood me or ignored my preface. And I took a leap and shared with her, using every precaution to make sure she knew it was not a real thing I would ever do. She known my history includes no self harm, no attempted suicides and no admission to hospital for mental health crises. By all accounts I am a low-risk patient and my propensity to enact murderous vengeance is pretty much zero.
Instead of telling me that these thoughts are incredibly common (they are) and intrusive thoughts are not desires we want to do and are in fact unwanted and do not represent our values, which would have set me at ease and made me feel a lot more understood, she coldly probed for details on whether I planned to act on these thoughts. It was such a betrayal, and no felt so misunderstood and judged by her that I requested a new therapist a week later.
I’m retrospect I should have dropped her several months earlier. During our intake process, she called me unexpectedly while I was shopping. I was happy to hear from her and she confirmed our appointment. I could not remember her name, so I said “Excellent, and what is your name? I’m so sorry I can’t recall” and she answered “my name will be at the top of the email you get confirming our appointment.” That was the end of the call. At the time I found it weird and kind of rude, but I dismissed it. I should have trusted my gut that first day man!
That I got into the emo trend to push people away because of my anxiety.
I actually have never seen that style before and I finally found something that was me. I honestly met some amazing people in my local emo crowd so she couldn't have been more wrong. I stopped going because she was so judgey.
Had a (student) therapist at a college (who was allowed to do college student therapy—this was why it was free to get therapy there) tell me that I would actually end up alone and be miserable until the day I killed myself. He then suggested I “make changes” very vaguely. I was in therapy for my PTSD and because I was being stalked. This did not help. I did not see him again.
Had a different one when I was 13 that would spend half the time talking to me and half the time for my sessions telling my mom what I said verbatim. Especially if it was about her. I got in trouble a lot for being an angsty 13 year old who complained about my mom in therapy.
This therapist I had for a while... I was depressed and I was unable to make myself get up and do anything, and my weight had really gotten out of hand. Finally, I started a) going to therapy and b) going to a nutritionist for some help getting back in shape. I started hitting the gym, too. I was feeling pretty good about it, and even a little proud of myself which is very rare for me. I shared that with my therapist. My therapist was a very large woman. Not morbidly obese, but she was very heavy. So when I told her that I was doing all this, she started asking me all about why I wanted to lose weight, and then asked me if I watched the show "My 600 Pound Life," which I'd never heard of. She went on and on about how the people on that show were very heavy but none of them had had a heart attack. I think I accidentally trod on one of *her* trigger points. But I really got it both barrels from her about society and weight. All this because I wanted to be more active and in better shape. I stopped going to see her.
She also pretty much lied because a fair number of those 600-pounders did in fact die.
and even for the ones that didn’t, the core premise of that show is that being so heavy is killing them slowly or at least ruining their quality of life, and they need to make drastic changes to become healthy. really can’t understand how you’d watch it and have your takeaway be “being 600lb is fine actually!”
At least one of them died during filming.
It's not like you said "ew, fat people are gross," you're allowed to decide if you want to exercise or eat better, wtf?
I think you made the right call there and good on you for getting into better shape. One of the most common things of people seeking psychology degrees is mentally unwell people wanting to understand themselves better. Usually that works itself out and those people are naturally weeded from the career field, but it sounds like you may have met the outlier that slipped through and had a practice.
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"It's about managing your symptoms at this point"
Yeah, hearing that I am never going to totally overcome my anxiety and depression was really depressing to hear. Did I need to hear it? Probably.
He screamed at me when I didn't want students to sit in on our session. He was PISSED. It was scary. I never went back.
Hello ethics violation.
Was this day-of?
next session
We wouldn’t be hear if you just listened to your parents
Female therapist- “I’m going through a divorce and need to work more hours to pay for my lawyer. Let’s meet twice weekly.”
Unbelievable.
Broooooooooo.
“Let’s meet twice weekly for zero minutes, good call.”
I had this too! 🤣
Ages ago I did conversion therapy. It left lasting damage. I moved to the middle of North Carolina for work and decided real therapy might be a good idea, although I was anxious about it. I checked ahead of time to make sure it wouldn't be religious - emailed, talked to someone on the phone, etc. Second session in the therapist told me my problem was spiritual and that's different than religion
Rough. I hope you found a better fit.
You don't need meds. You need to PRAY harder and SUBMIT to your Lord and Husband. Ignore those dang fractures.
I had a therapist tell me that I faked everything I'd been through to get attention, and that I couldn't have such a history without having childhood trauma. Never went back. Also had a guy fall asleep during a session.
It was bad because she was right, and at the time I was too emotionally immature to hear it. She told me that I blamed other people for my problems, and that I was the cause of my own suffering. And even though what happened to me wasn’t my fault, it was still my responsibility to do something about it. Otherwise, I’d be stuck in a vicious cycle. It sucked at the time, but honestly I was being a bitch. She’s still my therapist to this day.
This is generally true and also generally what people don’t want to hear.
Female therapist. This woman did 90% of the talking during sessions and made only a token effort to help me, but I kept going back to her because I was in a rut and she was my only human relationship. I think she decided early on that I wasn't worth helping and that she would just milk me for simp coin instead. Finally, after two years, I was desperate enough to try and open up to her about some traumatic shit that had happened to me in childhood. She didn't want to know and swiftly changed the subject. That was the last straw and I fucking ghosted her.
Good for you! Thats an awful experience. Marriage Counsellors never tell anyone they should get Divorced… they will invite you to plenty of therapy though… I am skeptical about the whole field.
They won't tell you to get divorced, they just want to help you come to that realization on your own.
Their policy is that it's not their place to decide if a relationship should end unless it's abusive.
Tried desperately to dissuade me from getting the covid vaccine and then started rambling conspiracy nonsense and telling me to get right with God. Nope nope nope. I reported her and quit therapy for a while.
I started my son on therapy to help him deal with ADHD and some other issues, which later led to an autism diagnosis. The first therapist we saw literally instructed us to feed him nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and milk every time he disobeyed and to strip his room down to only a mattress and dresser until he gave in. He told our son we would do all this so he'd better shape up. He said, I quote, "your parents are only legally obligated to feed and house you. If you get only peanut butter sandwiches, they are still fulfilling their parental obligations to fed you. If you refuse to eat them, that's on you." Suffice to say, me and my husband were so HORRIFIED we called the guy a pycho and ended the appointment right there and then. The next day, we got a different therapist. TL;DR: A therapist literally instructed us to essentially starve our son and strip him of any and all enrichment to force our son to be submissive to us.
Horrible. How old was the therapist?
He was in his early 70s. Passed away not too long after we saw him the one time.
I had a therapist who kept trying to plug his own book to me, and trying to get me to purchase it. He also made me cry in session by calling me an addict and saying I needed to be in rehab immediately for marijuana (I was living in California at the time!).
Was this therapist in either LA County or Kern County (the guy I’m thinking of practices in both counties)? The whole time I was seeing this guy, he did the same thing, plug his book. He seemed to have thought of himself as another Jesus Christ. he kept talking about this technique that he supposedly came up with, and that’s all he ever wanted to do in sessions. And he kept talking about his book that he wrote on the subject. There was this one time that there was some kind of miscommunication on his part. I was going to his office, and I saw that he was standing in the doorway, talking to someone else. I thought that maybe he was still talking to his last client before the guy left. So, I went to the bathroom. When I came back, he had already closed his door. I left, because I thought that maybe he didn’t see that he saw that as a cancellation, so, I figured maybe he decided to talk to the last guy a little bit longer. When I saw him the next week, he apologized, saying that he didn’t think that I was going to show up. so, to make up for it, he gave me a free copy of his book.
mine was in SF Bay Area. Don't even remember his name--older white guy lol
"You don't have bipolar disorder - you just have rapid cycling depression." Also: "I cant treat your relationships if they're same-sex." - A psychologist I saw for nearly 20 years, after a) my psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and 2) I revealed I was gay.
When learning about ADHD I had confided in my therapist why I think I might have it and was told ‘everyone is like that’. That was our last session.
>self-diagnoses with developmental disorder >therapist reassures that you don't have it >pissed off that you're not special
Thinks they know someone based off a very vague comment. lol okay
I’m assuming they wouldn’t have even been able to give you that diagnosis regardless, so I imagine you were better off going elsewhere anyway.
You are correct. She was not qualified for what I was experiencing at that time and I needed to switch. ETA: the assistance I had from the ‘unqualified’ therapist is what helped me work through other issues that lead to the adhd symptoms coming out.
why leave out the most important details
I had one marriage therapist tell me and my husband at the time that him looking elsewhere made sense if I wasn’t putting out. So he proceeded to treat me even more like crap. I had another therapist kill herself, I’d been seeing her for about 6 months due to postpartum and trying to kill myself.
This year has been a very bad year, several bad things have happened in my personal and professional life, I went to a therapist because of depression and they brushed it off saying that i was just sad, that it would pass. it has been 6 months, it hasn't passed
Aw man, that's rough. Not just that you've been through the wringer the past year, but being brushed off like that can really punch you in the gut. I see you man, and good job getting this far by the way 👏 I hope you find someone better to talk things out with - I know it took me several attempts to find a match I could feel comfortable opening up to in a meaningful way. "You're just sad" isn't an excuse for a therapist to do nothing, the sadness is literally why you're there! If you're really struggling, it paradoxically makes it even harder to be proactive about getting the help you need, so remember to be patient with yourself. ❤️
Thank you, I am doing partially better, still need help and I'm in the look but I'm moving places soon so I'd keep on that when Im done with the moving. Luckily I am surrounded by good and caring people and I kinda have some tools to not be overwhelmed by the intrusive thoughts, plus I know that I am going to be good at some point, so that helps hanging in there.
Don’t tell your mother
I had one go off on how he could see through all my bullshit and I was the problem. It was the 90s, I was just 12 or 13 - it was slightly before the courts (thankfully) took me out of my home. I can't remember his name but I know precisely where the building was. I had fallen asleep because it was the one spot where I thought I wouldn't keep getting my ass beat.
female therapist, probably about 20-25 years my senior at the time. i was about 16-17, and out of the blue as i was explaining how self aware i am of my issues but that i didn’t know how to solve them - she blurted out ‘i don’t think i can help you anymore, i don’t know how’
You stopped self harming, what do you need me for?
Was in couples therapy. Hubs and I are both sad and emotionally exhausted and trying to explain our pain to this new person. “But you’re both so attractive!” 😐
"well you might be binge eating, but your weight seems normal and at least you're not on coke like your sister!" Said by a university counsellor when I went to a walk in after both parents had major medical events and my sister got hit by a bus
One therapist (who I refused to keep seeing afterwards) implied that there was something about me that specifically attracted abusers into my life, as if getting SA by a stranger was my fault and I was the one that needed to change to not make it happen again...
opened up and got deep.. the Doc and I had clicked… but then the Doc took my stories about my past… asked a bunch of oddly specific questions… not for MY benefit… as an investigation into these people in my stories.. AND decided people are still in danger from these people I no longer associate with… and without any evidence of ongoing crime… informed the Police because of Duty to Report laws. She proudly told me. If they get charged. I can sue for damages! Like I should be excited… She said it like a teenage girl going. Daddy got me a pony!! I would be dead. People who testify against these people get in the paper as murdered. She is completely disconnected at believing me so much she goes to the Cops… Excited for Justice!! But doesnt believe me because shes willing to put my life in danger trying to get charges filed? Cancelled! Nothings going to happen. Everything I said is so old. Police are so busy. Absolutely betrayed. I do not understand this at all. She seemed really sweet and caring.
I was manic and very hypersexual years ago, and my therapist told me my urge to have sex with every woman I knew was pretty normal behavior and I shouldn't worry about it.
Thats fucked up dude. How old was your therapist?
He was a name dropper. "Oh yeah, Danielle was in here this morning talking about a similar situation." I rationalized it thinking "well, he didn't say her LAST name." But the next session he mentioned a very specific job title at a local company and how this man was the reason his daughter was in therapy. And the next time when I told him I finally got up the nerve to break up with my narcissist, he said he just HAD to give me a hug for that.
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She was right
Shush.
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One- My tattoos are tacky and prove I’m unreliable. I have three - all memorials for people I lost. Only one is visible. Yes, I quit this therapist over this. Two- Have I found a job to help my mom with bills and was I ready to move out? I was in my last year of college working on a teaching degree. I bought my own gas and food, paid for my education, and gave my mom half of my paycheck from a part time job. Quit this therapist, too.
"just don't compare yourself with other people" sure thing buddy i'll get right to it
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so..... she was right?? and you admitted she was right in your post even? and seems like you had "severe anxiety" to seek another therapist out??? isn't it crazy how ridiculous anxiety can make us feel? LOL
There's being right about facts, and there's the right way to handle things. Yes, anxiety leads the sufferer to conclusions that an observer finds ridiculous. But it *feels real*. It feels real and terrifying and overwhelming, and that *feeling* is important. And you can't just tell yourself (or someone else) "oh, this anxiety is ridiculous" and have it vanish, any more than you could tell someone experiencing nerve pain that what they're feeling is ridiculous (because nothing is actually *hurting them*) and they should just ignore it. Especially because anxiety at its core is a self-defense mechanism — we *all* get anxious about dangerous things, and we should. It's just that people with anxiety get anxious about non-dangerous things, too, and they need help recalibrating their anxiety-meters. Not ridicule. A better way for the therapist to respond would have been to validate marchichana's feelings, let her know that what she's experiencing might feel real but isn't rooted in the real world, and help her learn how to manage these feelings so they don't impede her everyday life. Instead, the therapist just made marchi feel stupid for bringing it up, which did the opposite of help. Everyone who goes into medicine says they like helping people, but some of them like being right about things and showing off how smart they are even more. Those people don't help.
Drug your father
freshman year in highschool. i was describing my new and first girlfriend to him (who i ended up being with for almost 5 years) and he goes "sounds like a recipe for disaster." that was our last meeting.
She made me rock back and forth on my feet while rotating balls in my hands, while reciting the alphabet backwards. Yes, this is apparently a real technique, and yes, it doesn't work.
Had one who made me spin in a swivel chair while intentionally hyperventilating.
When I was a teenager I had a therapist suggest greeting strangers in public as a way to improve my confidence and social isolation. It went about as well as you'd expect. I still have no idea what he was thinking.
I genuinely don’t have an answer to this, he’s chill as fuck and he’s been a really positive part of my life during a really hard time. It’s not like a single negative moment would undermine all that, but there really hasn’t been those moments
I met a few wacky therapists before my current therapist. I’ve never met the woman in person but, I knew from the first meeting we would click. She’s amazing and I lucked out.
My first and only therapist was nice enough and I went to her for a few months. In hindsight though, I realized she didn’t help at all. She is white and I’m Asian American. She kept circling back that my anxiety problems MUST have stemmed from my mother not being emotionally there for me because that was the Asian trope. For months I loathed my mother and tried to figure out how to cope. I stopped seeing the therapist because I couldn’t afford it and finally was put on anxiety meds. My mother and I are doing super well and I realized I just had a chemical imbalance. My mom was actually not part of the Asian trope of parents not showing affection and I stopping pretending she was when I no longer had an outside force pushing that idea.
Even if Asian parents are part of the trope, it's usually less "not showing affection" and more "not showing affection in a way we whities are familiar with"
There are many asian content creators out there who say that they wished that their mothers would say "I am proud of you" or "I love you" to them. Wanting to be told these things are universal human wants. They have notjing to do with "what a certain race is familiar with". Whitey isn't a nice word to use.
So a subset of people who were selected for by American viewers agree with the trope? And that's your proof? Please tell me more about how the term whitie is offensive and does serious harm like stereotyping a large subset of people based on a few you know. You're right, many people of both cultures would appreciate clear communication, something both cultures struggle with. Unfortunately for your high horse position that's not the norm for either culture. Speaking of, I find it interesting your high horse implies that one culture has it correct and the other doesn't.
"You're not capable of happiness; all we can do is help you manage the unhappiness." By contrast, my current therapist once told me that she thinks *the grief I carry* will never go away, but I can learn to coexist with it/integrate it into myself in such a way that won't be distressing to me. Which reminded me of that first statement when she said it, but it's *so different*! Other ~~winners~~ losers: * The therapist who'd never heard of polyamory or ethical non-monogamy, so I had to explain it to her over the course of several sessions. She wasn't judgmental, and in fact was fascinated, but it quickly became clear she couldn't help me and just wanted to learn from me. * The therapist who repeatedly forgot she'd scheduled me; the last time she showed up 30 minutes late with her dog and Starbucks. * The therapist who spent our whole session (4-5pm) watching the clock and the last ten minutes finishing my sentences for me so she could hurry me out. * The therapist who didn't believe me when I described the side effects of the medication I was taking, because "those aren't documented side effects" (well they started when I started the med and stopped when I stopped, lady). * The therapist who told me that my anxiety about arriving places on time (which led to me consistently arriving places \~5 min late, because I was convinced I couldn't arrive too early) was a behavioral issue and I needed to just get over it. * The therapist who told me I sounded like I was stressed but otherwise okay (I was suicidal). * The several therapists who refused to believe I was depressed or anxious because I was able to hold down jobs and relationships (even though I cried in their offices about my fear of losing both). * The many therapists who advised me to watch sunrises and list my blessings and/or give my problems to God (I did, and God told me to fucking seek therapy). It took me twenty years and I don't even know how many therapists to find my current one. I've been with her for a decade now and she's a fucking godsend. So even though some therapists suck, that doesn't mean the right one isn't waiting somewhere. Hang in there!
"Have you tried to stop talking?" condescendingly, when I needed to talk about a murderer who stalked me trying to get an appeal to get out of jail.
My therapist started crying when I told her about my childhood trauma. Never went back to her again.
Former therapist lied about their interaction withy employer. They said they had no interaction with them at all. Two weeks later I got a new supervisor. She told me that I should ‘start smoking weed’ when I asked her about why should would lie about that. I worked for the government. I did report her to the licensing board. I also turned her in for smelling of marijuana 3x. She stopped being allowed to do therapy at the hospital and was assigned to more managerial duties.
Went to a therapist who, after a couple of sessions started tossing in random quotes from Bob Dylan songs, without attribution. Well I’d listened to a bit of Dylan and after 3 or 4 times I called him out on it. He was super embarrassed. It was strange and although a minor thing it was enough to make me not trust him so I stopped seeing him.
It wasn’t something she said. It was the look of absolute horror on her face when I opened up about a tiny piece of my childhood trauma. And then the silence as she had to process what I said. And then she really didn’t have anything to say. She mumbled some memorized line about being sorry that happened to me, but she had exactly no clue how to proceed. We talked about meaningless shit for the rest of the appointment and I gave up on therapy for awhile.
Was told by a therapist I should “just be happy” when I opened up about various traumatic incidents in my life
Told me everything was clearly my fault and I seek to cause drama for myself, because yes my parents messy divorce , my brother anger issues and my commitment phobic partner (now ex) were all my own fault
Not exactly what he said but how he always turned the conversations into being about him. I was a depressed 18 year old kid and he's whining to me about his divorce and cocaine addiction... Like man who's paying who?
I used to be in therapy. I was 16 and I'm a man. She told me that I'm a man so I have to suck it up
My cousin was killed in 2020 when he'd been having trouble sleeping so one of his coworkers gave him a sleeping pill. Whatever he was given, it was laced with fentanyl and he OD'd. I was talking about it to my last therapist and she heavily insinuated that my cousin, who'd never done drugs in his life, had recently gotten a promotion, and was in a new relationship, was secretly a drug addict who had been looking for a fix that went wrong.
One told me I'd never work full time as I'm too traumatized. This was when i was 17 and it gave me a massive complex about what I was capable of.
I only know this from my family telling me, apparently I blocked it out. Seems my two younger sisters and mother and I all went to a family counselor to help us sort out trouble we were collectively having at home. Mom was always at work or school trying to provide for and improve her ability to provide for 3 kids, while the kids were raising ourselves. Seems I was the root of all the problems at home, according to this therapist. My family never go into details but just tell me they know he was wrong but damn, that must have struck a nerve for me.
That I was entitled for wanting my disability recognised and supported because she was dyslexic and she'd managed to make something of herself, so why did I need the DSP? And that I was broken for not wanting a sexual relationship.
Not me but my partner got told by a therapist that true unconditional love is real and that they just hadn't found it yet. And that all of their problems are their mum's fault.
I was losing a job and a pet of 14 years who I couldn't see because of lockdown and was at the brink of losing the place because of lack of job. I thought therapy would help but I heard I am selfish and should think of others now and go out and volunteer somewhere and give back to the community.
Volunteering seems to be their solution to everything.
Mid-80’s my parents were in the middle of a nasty separation/divorce. My dad was physically abusive to my mom so we went to a women’s shelter and they got us lined up with therapy in the next weeks. Our therapist was a turd. He fell asleep in several session with my siblings and told me “I can’t help you through this, your parents are divorced you’ll never have a normal life, normal healthy relationships”. I was 10!!! Such a turd.
Made fun of me for something that wasn't funny at all....i regret choosing them, in my gut I knew after the first meeting they weren't the right fit but tried session's with them anyway. Always listen to your intuition.
"Don't get depressed." After telling him I'm suffering from depression. That simple right?
Don't go to sleep unless you have a knife on you
I had a therapist once that just spoke and had a face like she thought I was a weirdo. I wasn’t even telling her something that crazy, it was just friend drama I was working through. I also tried to tell her that while I was in a decent place right now, I was moving to a new state shortly and I know it’s going to be difficult for me and would be best to be proactive and get ahead of it. She didn’t help and just kept asking why I was there. I moved, it was extremely difficult as I predicted but thankfully I’m fine now
He encouraged me to continue my affair.
I was in therapy, This really happened: my Doctor was Male, After a while talking He said To me: Sit on my Lap, it’s part of your therapy: I reported him, It upset me for long time Nothing happened to him. Therefore, I try To stay away from the Medical Field as much as I can.
Not in therapy anymore (I don't feel like getting scammed anymore) - My final therapist helpfully told me I should be happy I was in an abusive relationship because that means I had something worth being taken advantage of for
Because I didnt have the words or awareness to explain that I had trauma I needed help with, I said "it's like I have this rotten garbage stored away that I need to unpack, air out, and process". That was met with "ok, but what if you just \~let it all go\~ and became \~free\~from it?" (that was my first and last visit) So to anybody reading this, please make sure you find the right therapist before writing it off. Especially if you're any kind of minority. Can't try only one pair of shoes at the store unless you know for sure it's absolutely a good fit.
My son's child therapist: don't hug your son too often, it will make him gay.
A member of the mental health crisis team told me: "your friends and family don't want to be around you because of your mental illness". Being in a mental health crisis and unable to think clearly I thought "ok. I'll do them a favour and disappear then". I was found over 100 miles away and had to be rushed to a hospital.
I (infantry combat Vet) Was seeing a VA therapist for major depression/PTSD. During a session he never looked at me and only responded with short generic responses. I realized he wasn't listening to me so, just to get a reaction, I said "I'm gonna go home and kill myself after this." I will never forget his response, he said "Okay, anything else?" While never looking away from his computer. I got up and left without another word and he didn't even notice. I reported it on my way out saying I'll never see him again. The nurse just looked resigned like I wasn't the first to say something like that. This was 2016. People wonder why over 22 vets intentionally quit life every day.
"You're just going to have to live with it."
A therapist that I saw when I was in a very bad way (started having flashbacks about SA from previous relationship), & she tried to tell me to end my relationship with my very supportive husband. She spent a whole therapy session trying to talk me into it. Fortunately, the fog lifted by the time I got home and I told my husband about it and I said I didn't want to go to her anymore so we changed to a new therapist for me.
"Women have already won the gender war." I stopped seeing him after three sessions.
It’s not what they say, but what they don’t say to you. Such as - you’re married to a covert narcissist and she will make your life hell. Get out now.
“I don’t think you need therapy anymore”. I also had to teach her what my mental illness was….bye.
Out of curiosity, what was your mental illness?
OCD
Beeeeen theeeeereee. Edit: Downvoting this comment was weird. Your therapist should know enough that you're not having to teach them what your mental illness is.
Not so much said as did. I was hospitalized after a suicide attempt when I was in my late teens. After several weeks of inpatient treatment, my personal therapist, the hospital psychiatrist, the hospital social worker and my mom all agreed that I was ready to be released to continue outpatient treatment; my dad, on the other hand, did not (mostly because I didn't agree with him and his attitude towards me at the time) and he intimidated me hospital psychologist who was in charge of my treatment into keeping me there. I ended up telling him (the psychologist) that we both knew why I was still there, and either he gave me his word that I would be released on my birthday 3 days later, or I would sign a 3-day release form (I was already 18 and had voluntarily committed myself) and he could explain to the board that evaluated me why he was the only one who didn't agree I was ready to go. I ended up not having to sign anything and was released on my birthday, but I realistically spent an extra week hospitalized than I really needed to be. (And before anybody decides to Reddit cares me, this was decades ago and I'm not in any danger to or from myself or others.)
Not necessarily "said," but I've had two therapists ghost me where they flake on our upcoming appointment and then seemingly become impossible to reach to reschedule an appointment with. Which is a nightmare when I'm not able to see their practice's psychiatrist if I'm not seeing their therapist monthly, and me not being able to reach the therapist doesn't give me any special exceptions even if it's not my fault. I never really got any closure the first time, I tried talking to the practice's receptionist about it like, hey, if I can't schedule an appointment with X, can you assign me to somebody else, I need my meds and the psychiatrist won't see me? They dragged their feet helping me and I had to give them an ultimatum to help me or I'll go somewhere else by the upcoming Friday... and they called me at like 4:10 PM (they closed at 5 PM) on that last Friday, literally the fucking final hour!!! Told them that I already scheduled a new appointment elsewhere and that I was incredibly frustrated because I was ghosted, the other practice's staff didn't help me at all, and I was out of my fucking meds (and not getting therapy for like 2 months)! Then a later practice ghosted me, ugh... they seemed to enshittify after a few people quit, they reassigned me to a new case manager after mine quit and she was impossible to reach, I think I only talked to her once and she just didn't seem very approachable, I felt like I was just another file added to her load. Then during my last video chat appointment with the psychiatrist there, I told his receptionist to reschedule me in another month and text/call me when my next appointment is, and it just never happened. I tried calling them when I was getting low on meds like hey, do I have an appointment, I haven't gotten any calls or anything? I was told by their receptionist (who was unusually cold rather than her usual friendly "hey, how are ya?!" self) that they sent me a letter asking if I still wanted to be their patient, which I never even received by the way, and since I didn't reply, they closed my patient case. Okay, so you allegedly sent me a letter and when I didn't reply, you didn't try to call me to ask if I even fucking got it? Frustrating, but I asked if they could just reopen my case and I was told no, I'd have to do admission paperwork again so I scheduled an appointment, and I never got a phone call the day before confirming my appointment, I'm not sure if they ghosted me again or just didn't bother to actually schedule me. Even though I was out of meds at that point, so what the fuck? Completely unprofessional to ghost me as a patient especially since withdrawing from psych meds can be hell with certain meds. And they knew about my previous psych place ghosting me so what the fuck! My current psych place seems to be enshittifying and I'm feeling uneasy all over again tbh, they got a new psychiatrist like mid/late last year who seems to think that people are overmedicated and keeps trying to hassle me to go off medication (even though I agreed to go off one, it's just not enough for him) even though I went through a very traumatic event last year and am still dealing with the grief and trauma so I don't wanna "rawdog" these emotions when I'm still struggling WHILE on medication, and it felt like I had to argue for my case every other appointment. Plus, my therapist rescheduled on me twice from going on vacation twice (inconvenient but not inherently bad, I'm sure a lot of psych professionals get overwhelmed by "absorbing" their patients' emotions) and his schedule is packed where I was seeing him like once a month and he didn't really add much input for me to really get anything out of appointments so I'm in the process of getting set up at a different place since the current psychiatrist at this place sucks anyway, might as well go elsewhere if I need to look for a new therapist and not deal with this hack ever again. Got appointments with a new place's case manager, therapist, and psychiatrist (all separate appointments and people) this upcoming week and I'm nervous about it, lol, I feel like mentioning that I've been ghosted twice makes me look like a red flaggy patient...
Ooh, oof. So I experienced a violent sexual assault in 2019. Due to the outcome being so heartbreaking and myself left with no closure, the wound has taken its time to heal and I will always face issues because of it. I told my therapist that I have intrusive thoughts, and they are common for me, but I have never and will never act on them. I was sure to explain to her that these thoughts are not wanted, and I will never act on them, they simply exist. Next I told her that my intrusive thoughts include killing my rapist. I pressed repeatedly that the thoughts are unwanted and I do not entertain them, but they persist. I explained that I think I have them because I feel such a strong sense of injustice, from how the legal proceedings went and the conclusion ultimately destroyed me. I said I think I feel this remaining anger and pain because I haven’t been able to get what I consider closure for what happened, and until I enter a state of mind where I can move past this situation, it will remain a part of my everyday life and the intrusive thoughts will persist from time to time. Im not burdened by them they aren’t constant. Just consistent. Her response was to ask me very carefully, if I had any intention of acting out these desires to kill him. It absolutely shattered me. I was so afraid to open up in case she misunderstood me or ignored my preface. And I took a leap and shared with her, using every precaution to make sure she knew it was not a real thing I would ever do. She known my history includes no self harm, no attempted suicides and no admission to hospital for mental health crises. By all accounts I am a low-risk patient and my propensity to enact murderous vengeance is pretty much zero. Instead of telling me that these thoughts are incredibly common (they are) and intrusive thoughts are not desires we want to do and are in fact unwanted and do not represent our values, which would have set me at ease and made me feel a lot more understood, she coldly probed for details on whether I planned to act on these thoughts. It was such a betrayal, and no felt so misunderstood and judged by her that I requested a new therapist a week later. I’m retrospect I should have dropped her several months earlier. During our intake process, she called me unexpectedly while I was shopping. I was happy to hear from her and she confirmed our appointment. I could not remember her name, so I said “Excellent, and what is your name? I’m so sorry I can’t recall” and she answered “my name will be at the top of the email you get confirming our appointment.” That was the end of the call. At the time I found it weird and kind of rude, but I dismissed it. I should have trusted my gut that first day man!
"You could have chosen not to slit your wrists."
That I got into the emo trend to push people away because of my anxiety. I actually have never seen that style before and I finally found something that was me. I honestly met some amazing people in my local emo crowd so she couldn't have been more wrong. I stopped going because she was so judgey.
Had a (student) therapist at a college (who was allowed to do college student therapy—this was why it was free to get therapy there) tell me that I would actually end up alone and be miserable until the day I killed myself. He then suggested I “make changes” very vaguely. I was in therapy for my PTSD and because I was being stalked. This did not help. I did not see him again.
Had a different one when I was 13 that would spend half the time talking to me and half the time for my sessions telling my mom what I said verbatim. Especially if it was about her. I got in trouble a lot for being an angsty 13 year old who complained about my mom in therapy.