If someone randomly starts accusing you of cheating. They're probably cheating.
Its interesting too, I had a friend who's boyfriend would always get mad that she would take too long at work and accused her of sleeping with her coworkers. Turns out he was the one sleeping with HIS coworkers and projected the blame on to her or something.
See I worry about this with my partner, he forever accuses me of cheating and brings up how bad cheating is all the time and itās got to the point Iām thinking are you projecting?
It can be either one of two things.
The first option is that he is an inherently jealous and insecure person, maybe carrying emotional baggage from past relationships that went poorly, that he is allowing to corrode yours. A lot of people make the mistake of viewing new partners through the lens of past relationships and not giving that person an entirely fair shake, despite being an entirely different person from that ex that hurt them. That would still be a major issue that will eventually destroy your relationship if he doesn't get himself sorted out, but at least there isn't any betrayal.
The other, worse option is that he has cheated on you and it is classic projection.
I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that is option #2 unless there are other hints, like being secretive with his phone, changes in behavior or intimacy patterns, having less time for you, suddenly working late or going out with friends more often than usual or normal, etc.
His ex did cheat on him multiple times which is why I let it go. But after being together for so long I just think why are you still going on about this.
Speaking from the perspective of your bf, it sucks. I'm the same way. Nearly every relationship I had in the past ended because of cheating. And you always hear the same thing. "I would never cheat on you", "I'm not that kind of person", "I only love you"...my last ex told me the thought of kissing other guys disgusted her. Then I found a tiktok from her friends page of her at a party making out with some random guy.
He might need to go to therapy to deal with his trust issues. I'm sure he doesn't want to have those thoughts, but when it's all you've known, it's hard not to.
And honestly, if it's becoming too much...you might just have to leave him. Especially if you've talked about it and he's not changing.
If that is the only issue you're having with him and nothing else about his behavior or the way he treats you is suspicious, it does sound like it's just someone who isn't able to move past prior hurt & betrayals.
Of course even so you still deserve much better than having to pay for some other woman's sins, and part of basic respect for your partner is trusting them unless they've given you an actual reason not to. Even though it might be unintended, he's not respecting you currently.
I hope you both are able to work past it and sort it out, but it's definitely on him and something he should talk to a therapist about. If you still want to maintain the relationship with him, he needs to make an effort to sort himself out and put in the work to save it.
my man did this for years. even told me he stopped speaking to his brother for cheating on his long term girlfriend. he was cheating the whole time. š¤
My ex did this. She always told me that even if I did cheat, she would probably stay with me. She told me she was confident if one of us cheated, it would be me. She had horrible self esteem.
One day I was contacted by an old friend from high school, a girl I knew, and I agreed to meet up and chat. Went out for some food, came back to my place and showed her my dog, turned on some TV and chilled out to some movie while we smoked some weed.
Then my gf got home from work and immediately assumed I was cheating on her. Told her I knew when she would be home, why would I have a girl over here when I knew she would be home? Tried introducing her but my gf stormed off crying.
Took a long time to convince her I wasn't doing anything that night, and that she was just an old friend who wanted to catch up. It looked weird sure but I wasn't doing anything, and figured my gf wouldn't mind. I was very wrong. Didn't hang out with that girl until that gf and I split apart
Anyway, a couple years later she admitted to having been cheating on me for months. And that was that
I mean if I walked through my door and my gf was just chilling with some random dude, I'd probably not be happy about it?
Why not text her beforehand and just say hey I'm meeting up with this girl and we are gonna hang out etc. etc.
This 1 Million Percent.
I even tried giving my ex a second chance after she cheated and I caught her and she still had the audacity to accuse ME of cheating. I never cheated on her.
Yes she was still cheating. 7 year long relationship down the shitter. She was married and had a kid less than a year after we broke up.
If you find out someone is cheating, block them, remove them from your life entirely and forget them as fast as possible. No second chances. Youāll be better off trust me.
I've been there, minus her getting married. After I stopped the relationship, she was still insistent on being in my life.. except she was unfaithful, so why would I play those games? She was pregnant with some other guy's child 3 months later.
Sometimes this is just an indicator of poorly handled infidelity trauma.
I let this fuck up my relationship with the love of my life, because I didn't deal with my shit after my last three long term relationships (including a marriage) ended with me being cheated on.
Happened with my ex gf , she "hated I always worked late" and thought I was cheating. As she texted from his bed.
Edit: I'm day drinking and can't type
When suddenly your perfume, lotion, and body wash no longer appeal to them; when they criticize you for everything you do, as if you have not done things right.
For me, it was coming home and seeing the toilet seat up with just a little bit of pee on the floor.
Just to clarify, we had an en suite bathroom and two other bathrooms in the house, and I'd been gone for like a week due to a work training course.
When I asked, she said it must have been me and I was like ??? I've been gone for 5 days and been home for an hour, and I've only just walked in here and noticed it when I went to shower.
She immediately started screaming at me and bringing up shit from the past, I said nothing after this and just packed a bag and left. A few days later, she admitted it, but only because I refused to accept any excuses.
This was around 8 years ago, I still get random messages from her trying to reconnect, but I've moved on, and even if I hadn't, it's just a massive nope.
I still remember sitting on the bathroom floor just looking at the pee on the floor and the seat up, trying to think of any way this could have happened, and everything just kept pointing to the obvious... She came in the bathroom, looked at me confused, I pointed at the toilet and asked why the seat was up and there was pee on the floor and the immediate panic and anger that came over her told me everything I needed to know.
By far one of the most crushing feelings I'd ever felt.
It's good. I've been with my partner for over 5 years and can't imagine life without her, lol
She'll never know, but sometimes I just stare at her, thinking about how my life would have gone if that didn't happen. It's insane how happy this woman makes me... I've always been told I'm a pretty serious person and it's like she brought out this happiness I never knew I had, her energy and just the person she is makes me smile every time she so much as looks at me.
After we broke up, I ended up moving back home because I just couldn't stay in that house, and my ex made my life too difficult... she always denied it when I asked if she was following me, but there were too many times she'd randomly turn up where I was at and even had people from my work tell me they'd seen her parked up nearby which was concerning as the offices were at the back of an industrial estate with no reason to be in the area unless you worked in that area...
Tore me to pieces, but I guess everything happens for a reason because around a year after moving back home, I met the woman I'm with now. :)
God I wish I'd had the sense you did. In my case it was a endless round of couples therapy and endless criticism (of me) by someone who had absolutely no intention of ever changing.
My ex wasnāt cheating, but once i noticed these behaviors the relationship was over. It shows contempt from your partner and that isnāt easy to undo. I couldnāt undo it no matter how much i tried. Maybe the other guy sounds hyperbolic but the reason so many upvoted might be because they all experienced it the same way i had. If i had judt given up could have saved myself all the agony.
Happened to me too. All of a sudden wanted sex less and less. Stopped initiating touch like hugs and kisses. Would get aggravated easier by things I said or did. Was really tough to watch in real time while being told everything is fine when you know deep down it wasnāt.
This. You know something is up when your wife doesn't seem to be into your aftershave lotion anymore, and doesn't bury her face into your chest and smell your neck anymore andĀ you walk in and she's fucking your brother and she doesn't laugh at your jokes anymore and you start to think to yourself that something might be up.
I think the most telling sign is when their routine changes suddenly. Didn't like to go to bars with co workers before? Now is going to happy hours. Went to the gym once or twice a week? Now is really motivated to go every day. Used to like to spend time at home? Now wants to go out alone with friends.
yup. and I was soooo happy that she was finally going out with her friends and having a social life. "sure, I'll stay home and watch the kids! go have some fun! you deserve it! you work hard for our family."
Yeah, affairs require time spent with AP. You can't cheat if you're at home with your partner.
edit- I realized that isn't necessarily true. You can certainly cheat on your partner using the internet.
This is the thing I have trouble understanding about people with kids and jobs who have full-blown affairs. Aside from the immorality of cheating, how do they even find time for it? I'm married with two kids and between work, family stuff, chores, etc. almost every minute of every day is spoken for. I'm very happily married and would never have an affair, but even if I wanted to it would be logistically impossible to do without *immediately* getting caught. I literally do not have a free couple of hours in my day to sneak off and fuck some side chick in a motel or whatever. The second I'm done with work I'm out the door of my office to pick up one kid from daycare and go home while my wife is getting the other kid. Then it's time to cook dinner, put the kids to bed, do dishes, tidy up, etc. By the time we're done with all that shit it's already like 9PM and we're both tired as fuck and ready to go to bed. What lie am I supposed to come up with as an excuse to then leave the house for several hours to meet up with a mistress? "OK, babe, I'm gonna head out and meet the guys for bowling night." You know, one of those bowling leagues that plays at 10PM on a weeknight. Nothing suspicious about that! LOL.
I honestly don't understand how cheaters manage to even fit an affair into their schedule without it being *painfully* obvious.
I knew this woman who was cheating on her husband for over a decade with 6 men. She's got two teenage sons and a job. Her job was flexible enough to allow her to spend time with her partners during the day while her husband worked. She'd always be home by the time her husband came home so he was completely clueless.
One time she got into an accident where her legs got bruised up from a car accident and spent two weeks "at home". At least that's what her husband thought. She was actually going to some guy's place that she met right before the accident to have sex despite her leg injuries. She'd be gone for 5 to 6 hours too. Then come home before her husband did. He probably just thought his wife was at home nursing her injury the whole time.
I know all this because I met her on some dating app and didn't know she was married until later but she told me all this stuff because she thought I was a scumbag who would be okay with this stuff. Anyway, don't underestimate the tenacity and lengths that some people will go to have affairs and hide them.
I hate that I know all this because it's made me cynical and less trusting about my own relationships. I always think no matter how sweet and moral someone could be they could very well be someone different. I still remember how in all her pictures she'd be smiling this huge smile like she did absolutely nothing wrong while posing with her family and husband.
Unaccountable time. There are stretches of time he/she is missing. They will have excuses but it usually doesnāt explain why there was no response for long stretches of time. You can be doing a bunch of things and still take seconds to text a partner.
What I don't understand is why cheaters don't just ACCOUNT for this. The two exes of mine who were up to no good never even thought "hey if I just respond to the first text with a 'k' it is significantly less suspicious than just not replying to anything for hours on end".
Reddit often submits the former as an example of cheating, but I'd like to push back against that a bit.
I think it is only suspiscious if it is a new habit and is paired with other causes for suspiscion. Were they sweating or getting dirty at work? Do they have naturally oily hair that needs to be washed at night? Were they around smokers, while they were out? Did they just come hom from the gym or a jog/run? Etc.
There are lots of reasons to take a shower when coming home besides, "I just got done having sex."
I mean yeah, if its normal or if your partner just really likes to be clean when they come home, its not a problem. I'd say the shower thing, combined with other suspicious activities, might be cause for concern. Hiding their phone, acting distant, not wanting sex or affection, not texting or calling as much, getting irratble with you, out and about at random times, no longer enjoying your company, *and* showering instantly when they get home when they normally wouldn't. All those things together are signs of cheating.
One time i came home absolutelly drunk and smelly from all the cigarettes i smoked to fight off the drunkiness before i got home so i went to shower straight away.
My gf didnt talk to me for 2 days.
Conversely, if they suddenly start treating you like shit? Also a giveaway. A lot of cheaters will feel guilty, and look for things to blame on you, so they don't have to feel quite so shitty about cheating on a good person.
I suspect my ex wife may have cheated on me. She always hated when I got female attention and was constantly looking for things wrong with me. She accused me of cheating a lot. So it was either continued insecurity or she cheated. Could be both.
It's when a person will start loving up on you and giving you all the compliments and basically "loving" but over loving. Pffft I hope that made sense.
I wouldn't take this as a huge giveaway unless they almost never showed affection before. I go through periods that idk if its exactly "love bombing" but I'm far more attentive, buy random gifts, and try to take a huge home work load off my wife. My career is pretty non stop and I work more than average hours to provide for our family and realize that I might fall short on the home front sometimes so when I recognize she's overwhelmed or far too tired I try to take some of the burden off while also giving her more attention and showing my appreciation. It can be a fairly noticeable change in behavior that's also linked to ADHD which includes spur of the moment or sporadic behavior.
I think it's highly dependent on your existing dynamic and how well you know eachother.
Came here to say something similar, but you've already got it, and probably more eloquently than I would have. And probably not by coincidence, I'm also diagnosed ADHD.
When they're becoming short tempered around you. Like little things annoy them and proceed to push that you're cheating. They also start to keep their phone away from you.
There is a shift in the relationship energy. The vibe is off. Not something you could put a finger on but a feeling in your gut that something isnt right. Listen to your gut.
While the vibe feeling "off" can be the result of many things (and it's important to not jump immediately to extremes), I have to agree with this. I was cheated on years ago and I can remember just knowing one day and unfortunately I was right.
Appreciate that call out - you're absolutely correct! Coming up on one year being married to the most amazing human I've ever encountered and I'm thankful for every experience that led me to her.
"In order for a tree to reach heaven, it has to have its roots reach down to hell"
Congrats. I'm 9 months out, due to be divorced mid July.
I hope to be in your position one day.
Ehhh sometimes. I got accused of cheating all the time with my ex. She always thought I had someone else because I sometimes wasn't happy with her.
It was mostly unhappiness due to dealing with non existent issues like making her feel better about a girl I was cheating with that does not exist.
I would say, vibe is off is just a sign that the relationship has some things to work on, and it isn't always cheating.
Ironically when I dealt with this it turned out to be nearly the opposite problem. It turned out that the meds she was on were severely dampening her sex drive. Her apparent disinterest and lack of desire weren't about me, and nobody else was drawing her eye either. Luckily she is a very open and honest person and we were able to work together on the problem.
I was blindsided by my husband's 10 year affair. The were absolutely NO signs at all. His affair was with his assistant at work and all the sex was in their offices or on business trips. Other than that, nothing. No late meetings, no late hours, no weekends, no calls, emails, snapstachats, or anything. She even came to our house so many times for company parties and cookouts and I never picked up on anything. Of course, I was the only one who didn't know what was going on...
My husband and his partner own the business so he's their boss. They watched me welcome her into my home, hug her, compliment her, and tell everyone how much my husband relies on her. They watched me follow her around and dote on her. Some of them knew the whole 10 years and just watched me make a fool out of myself over and over again.
I get it though. He's their boss and that's where their loyalty lies.
That hurts to read, and it's not entirely unfamiliar. One thing I could never get across in couples therapy (I wasn't allowed) was how humiliated I felt, after doing so many things over so many years. Things I would *never* have done if only I'd known.
She got tired of being the side piece and sent me a text on the 17th anniversary of our first date. I didnāt recognize the number so I thought it was a wrong number and ignored it. Thatās how positive I was that my husband would never cheat.
an ex of mine suddenly became interested in going to the gym, changed his style of underwear, started wearing aftershave daily, became very protective over new purchases (that were actually gifts from her) and spending more time 'with mates' (really her)
Phone always face down, never leaves the phone unattended, super defensive if you go to touch/look at it. Phones are the gateway and the biggest giveaway of the modern age, before you even get into all the other indicators about their behaviour.
Ugh. I am super defensive around my phone and I don't know what my partner must think about it.
I have this massive irrational anxiety about other people handling my phone and computer from my parents randomly looking through them or looking over my shoulder and grilling me over it. Sometimes they found stuff I really didn't want them to see- me venting about them to friends,or sexy talk with someone I was dating, or having to explain why a porn ad popup on a warez site wasn't actually me "downloading porn". I also had some highschool "friends" who loved to do hilarious pranks like turn my desktop image to goatse and message creepy or abusive messages to whatever girl I was talking to recently because they thought it was hilarious.
It feels like such a violation that I flinch and feel like a mini panic attack if my partner is on my phone for something. I know that she's not going to prank me, and there's nothing much there for her to see, but I can't help it.
When my older brother was initially cheated on I could tell bc of the way she began to be more passive towards him. I wasnt told of any details until after the break. However the process usually goes:
1. Fighting, drugs, other issues, or the affection begins to fade. (For him this was being an aggressive angry drunk, not giving her gifts, not giving her any attention, forgot abt the anniversary etc.)
2. She/he becomes unhappy w/ the relationship, if youre married this pressure is even worse bc its binding(they were engaged).
3. She/he starts talking to them less. Their mind begins to wander, and at some point meet other ppl that are better fits for them now.(Met a friend in their friend group)
4. They actually meet and sleep with said partners. (She slept with him for 5 months before he found out and she was kicked out)
Edit:TL;DR They go from being BF/GF to just roommates who awkwardly walk pass eachother
True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
Sometimes there aren't any... Ex-wife cheated on me... a LOT. She was a master manipulator and hid everything perfectly. I only know what I know from what she told me after one of her partners told me what was going on.
If youāre male and in the military and go on a 15 month deployment and come home to see your wife/girlfriend greet you at the airport with a newborn kid.
Happened to a buddy of mine. So fucked up.
Suddenly working "late" or going out with friends or coworkers more, hiding their phone more or never leaving it in sight, starting more arguments, withdrawn from any intimacy
A sudden change in behaviour which could be both positive and negative (i.e more self confidence, more adventurous in the bedroom) could be subtle, could be obvious but it will be sudden (i.e within a few weeks) and there will be no apparent reason for this change
Also on their phone a lot more than usual.
Partner suddenly starts doing something very different with their appearance. For me, my ex suddenly asked me to shave his back (I know, I know). But he had NEVER mentioned being unhappy with hair anywhere on his body at any point prior, so it was suspicious.Ā
I accused my ex of cheating since we never saw each other anymore(didnt see each other for over a month) and she would get angry if i brought it up saying im suffocating her because i want us to see each other all the time.. and she said im projecting and that she would never cheat. Well, soon after all of this, she broke up with me and was in a new relationship 3 days later.
Strong projection on you cheating or Always scared you will cheat. For three years with a jealous partner never did something to make him jealous..discovered he was cheating the whole Time even during my pregnancy..damn
Two subtle clues I had with a couple relationships..
1. Suddenly obsessed with new music thatās outside their norm
2. Talking about an anonymous friend they have at work , school, etc..
Of course , those are just smaller subtle ones
This is based on my experience:
*He will be nice, sweet and doing things that he doesnāt do occasionally.
*You canāt touch his phone
*Argue over little things
*Constant jealousy
*And most likely accused me cheating on him
Something I havenāt seen mentioned, but sometimes they will actively talk about the person theyāre cheating on you with in a negative light. Almost as if it will keep your suspicions down because it seems like they canāt stand them.
When sheās forming the relationship with the other person sheāll be mad at you for everything but then when she sleeps with them sheāll feel guilt and start being overly affectionate.
One of my favorite bits from Office Space was when Peter wondered out loud whether his GF was cheating on him and everyone else in the scene scoffed and went "huh, yeah I think maybe."
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLKFqCLNkzM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLKFqCLNkzM)
They are more critical of you and get angry when nothing was really wrong. They over explain/excuse themselves, even when not asked. More showers, more absences, more gripes.
When you accidentally open the wrong email one day and theyāre telling someone else that they wish you had a greater sex drive even though the bitch likes to lay there like a bump on a log and not give blowjobsā¦with you.
Then, you cut that bitch off.
Well, when my ex started cheating on me, she started staying out late more often with her co workers (who she cheated on me with). She was also on her phone with them constantly.
Accusing you of cheating. It is called projection.
Hanging out with people you are uncomfortable with. Emotional cheating is the start of a physical relationship.
Accusing you of cheating
Saying your spying on them
Be very defensive over cell even sleeping on top of it
New friends staying out later
New under wear
Change of grooming habits down there
Listening to new music band group or genre
Saying there working more.
Get startled when there cell rings or gets text message. Going into other room in middle of night to talk to someone using a low voice.
Wanting to try new positions sexual things.
Usually thereās an increase in sexual affection at least initially they it fades away to nothing.
Spending more than beforeā¦
A few of these doesmt mean there cheatingā¦.
If you got a handful they are definitely cheating.
If you suspect there cheating do not confront theyāll go under ground and you could be wrong. Always remember cheaters donāt get caught every time they cheat. Just like criminals they do numerous crimes usually before there ever caught.
Regular sex goes away to super infrequent or non existent.
They get snippy with you more than before.
They drop hints of their affairs as if they want to tell you but canāt/wonāt.
āSuper busy at work and had to stay lateā constantly.
Wanting to go to a place (restaurant, bar, etc) and they are adamant about not going (only to find out later it was theirās and APās āplaceā).
The easiest way to spot a cheater is sudden change in sexual behaviour. Itās not rocket science, if someone has sex with you in a certain way and they then f&ck in very different ways theyāve definitely learned that from another woman. Thatās why itās so obvious when you sleep with a man, you can even tell the profile of their previous partners.
Projection. Mine was cheating on me for years and acted like I was the one engaging in infidelity (I never did in our 4-year long tumultuous relationship!)
when I've been cheated on.....
She started working late and was withdrawn when she got home.
Lost sex drive.
Lack of communication from her when there were obvious problems in the relationship.
Gaslighting me accusing me of cheating... when it was her all along.
No effort in the relationship.
Started spending more time at her friend's house.... who happened to be roommates with the guy she cheated with. They ended up getting married then she cheated on him with her high school flame. Guess karma is a bitch .
Only ever had 2 relationships, both were almost 5years and both cheated on me. The amount of time and communication they used to have with you noticeably lessens, they start to make the effort again of looking good, and mostly for me, its just a gut feeling. The way they look at you changes or sometimes avoid eye contact. There's always a point where you just know its over.
The level of distance combined with how they socialize. I've been able to tell when a lot of my friends where being cheated from the first time I met their at the time partners. Usually couples have a way of keeping a vibe around them around other people that when they are around other people. Its not even being necessarily affectionate in public. Its just maintaining an atmosphere that makes it well understood that they are leaving the gathering together, no matter what.
Its when this atmosphere isn't being maintained usually cheating is happening. It just comes that something about the fact the partners are in a relationship isn't being respected. It could be one partner socializes with other people as if their partner was another friend that they came with.
You're helping her with dinner and she says "I fucked Ted."
In my defense, she said she was single. Also, she was more attractive than I am used to. When opportunity knocks. I answer.
šššššššššššš
āWho hasnāt?ā
In fairness though, Ted's incredibly hot so it's not really her fault.
Thank you. At least someone thinks so
They keep hanging out with that one "friend."
I swear he slipped and fell inside me... And then kept slipping and falling again
Sure it did Sir Norman Fry
If someone randomly starts accusing you of cheating. They're probably cheating. Its interesting too, I had a friend who's boyfriend would always get mad that she would take too long at work and accused her of sleeping with her coworkers. Turns out he was the one sleeping with HIS coworkers and projected the blame on to her or something.
See I worry about this with my partner, he forever accuses me of cheating and brings up how bad cheating is all the time and itās got to the point Iām thinking are you projecting?
It can be either one of two things. The first option is that he is an inherently jealous and insecure person, maybe carrying emotional baggage from past relationships that went poorly, that he is allowing to corrode yours. A lot of people make the mistake of viewing new partners through the lens of past relationships and not giving that person an entirely fair shake, despite being an entirely different person from that ex that hurt them. That would still be a major issue that will eventually destroy your relationship if he doesn't get himself sorted out, but at least there isn't any betrayal. The other, worse option is that he has cheated on you and it is classic projection. I wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that is option #2 unless there are other hints, like being secretive with his phone, changes in behavior or intimacy patterns, having less time for you, suddenly working late or going out with friends more often than usual or normal, etc.
His ex did cheat on him multiple times which is why I let it go. But after being together for so long I just think why are you still going on about this.
Speaking from the perspective of your bf, it sucks. I'm the same way. Nearly every relationship I had in the past ended because of cheating. And you always hear the same thing. "I would never cheat on you", "I'm not that kind of person", "I only love you"...my last ex told me the thought of kissing other guys disgusted her. Then I found a tiktok from her friends page of her at a party making out with some random guy. He might need to go to therapy to deal with his trust issues. I'm sure he doesn't want to have those thoughts, but when it's all you've known, it's hard not to. And honestly, if it's becoming too much...you might just have to leave him. Especially if you've talked about it and he's not changing.
If that is the only issue you're having with him and nothing else about his behavior or the way he treats you is suspicious, it does sound like it's just someone who isn't able to move past prior hurt & betrayals. Of course even so you still deserve much better than having to pay for some other woman's sins, and part of basic respect for your partner is trusting them unless they've given you an actual reason not to. Even though it might be unintended, he's not respecting you currently. I hope you both are able to work past it and sort it out, but it's definitely on him and something he should talk to a therapist about. If you still want to maintain the relationship with him, he needs to make an effort to sort himself out and put in the work to save it.
my man did this for years. even told me he stopped speaking to his brother for cheating on his long term girlfriend. he was cheating the whole time. š¤
My ex did this. She always told me that even if I did cheat, she would probably stay with me. She told me she was confident if one of us cheated, it would be me. She had horrible self esteem. One day I was contacted by an old friend from high school, a girl I knew, and I agreed to meet up and chat. Went out for some food, came back to my place and showed her my dog, turned on some TV and chilled out to some movie while we smoked some weed. Then my gf got home from work and immediately assumed I was cheating on her. Told her I knew when she would be home, why would I have a girl over here when I knew she would be home? Tried introducing her but my gf stormed off crying. Took a long time to convince her I wasn't doing anything that night, and that she was just an old friend who wanted to catch up. It looked weird sure but I wasn't doing anything, and figured my gf wouldn't mind. I was very wrong. Didn't hang out with that girl until that gf and I split apart Anyway, a couple years later she admitted to having been cheating on me for months. And that was that
I mean if I walked through my door and my gf was just chilling with some random dude, I'd probably not be happy about it? Why not text her beforehand and just say hey I'm meeting up with this girl and we are gonna hang out etc. etc.
I would not take kindly if I was randomly accused of cheating. That's just disrespectful.
Heās done it our entire relationship, I used to let it go because his ex cheated but lately Iām getting really annoyed by it.
This 1 Million Percent. I even tried giving my ex a second chance after she cheated and I caught her and she still had the audacity to accuse ME of cheating. I never cheated on her. Yes she was still cheating. 7 year long relationship down the shitter. She was married and had a kid less than a year after we broke up. If you find out someone is cheating, block them, remove them from your life entirely and forget them as fast as possible. No second chances. Youāll be better off trust me.
I've been there, minus her getting married. After I stopped the relationship, she was still insistent on being in my life.. except she was unfaithful, so why would I play those games? She was pregnant with some other guy's child 3 months later.
Same with me, she got married soon after and then she's hitting me up online.
Sometimes this is just an indicator of poorly handled infidelity trauma. I let this fuck up my relationship with the love of my life, because I didn't deal with my shit after my last three long term relationships (including a marriage) ended with me being cheated on.
Yeah, gaslighting also. They're afraid to reciprocate their cheating.
Happened with my ex gf , she "hated I always worked late" and thought I was cheating. As she texted from his bed. Edit: I'm day drinking and can't type
Yes! This for sure! Happened to me in both my relationships.
When suddenly your perfume, lotion, and body wash no longer appeal to them; when they criticize you for everything you do, as if you have not done things right.
For me, it was coming home and seeing the toilet seat up with just a little bit of pee on the floor. Just to clarify, we had an en suite bathroom and two other bathrooms in the house, and I'd been gone for like a week due to a work training course. When I asked, she said it must have been me and I was like ??? I've been gone for 5 days and been home for an hour, and I've only just walked in here and noticed it when I went to shower. She immediately started screaming at me and bringing up shit from the past, I said nothing after this and just packed a bag and left. A few days later, she admitted it, but only because I refused to accept any excuses. This was around 8 years ago, I still get random messages from her trying to reconnect, but I've moved on, and even if I hadn't, it's just a massive nope.
Good on you for not gaslighting yourself.Ā
I still remember sitting on the bathroom floor just looking at the pee on the floor and the seat up, trying to think of any way this could have happened, and everything just kept pointing to the obvious... She came in the bathroom, looked at me confused, I pointed at the toilet and asked why the seat was up and there was pee on the floor and the immediate panic and anger that came over her told me everything I needed to know. By far one of the most crushing feelings I'd ever felt.
I'm sorry to hear that man.
It's good. I've been with my partner for over 5 years and can't imagine life without her, lol She'll never know, but sometimes I just stare at her, thinking about how my life would have gone if that didn't happen. It's insane how happy this woman makes me... I've always been told I'm a pretty serious person and it's like she brought out this happiness I never knew I had, her energy and just the person she is makes me smile every time she so much as looks at me. After we broke up, I ended up moving back home because I just couldn't stay in that house, and my ex made my life too difficult... she always denied it when I asked if she was following me, but there were too many times she'd randomly turn up where I was at and even had people from my work tell me they'd seen her parked up nearby which was concerning as the offices were at the back of an industrial estate with no reason to be in the area unless you worked in that area... Tore me to pieces, but I guess everything happens for a reason because around a year after moving back home, I met the woman I'm with now. :)
God I wish I'd had the sense you did. In my case it was a endless round of couples therapy and endless criticism (of me) by someone who had absolutely no intention of ever changing.
You making me nervous man lol
Other guy just flat saying get out and he's got 30+ upvotes you're shitting me. Don't listen to strangers. Even me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My ex wasnāt cheating, but once i noticed these behaviors the relationship was over. It shows contempt from your partner and that isnāt easy to undo. I couldnāt undo it no matter how much i tried. Maybe the other guy sounds hyperbolic but the reason so many upvoted might be because they all experienced it the same way i had. If i had judt given up could have saved myself all the agony.
Happened to me too. All of a sudden wanted sex less and less. Stopped initiating touch like hugs and kisses. Would get aggravated easier by things I said or did. Was really tough to watch in real time while being told everything is fine when you know deep down it wasnāt.
Well what I think happened here was the person made a half assed joke and the response to that joke was...to leave their partner.
Get out. Even if they arenāt cheating, this behavior will not get better
This. You know something is up when your wife doesn't seem to be into your aftershave lotion anymore, and doesn't bury her face into your chest and smell your neck anymore andĀ you walk in and she's fucking your brother and she doesn't laugh at your jokes anymore and you start to think to yourself that something might be up.
"something might be up" Your brother
Ok yeah this is ... scary
I think the most telling sign is when their routine changes suddenly. Didn't like to go to bars with co workers before? Now is going to happy hours. Went to the gym once or twice a week? Now is really motivated to go every day. Used to like to spend time at home? Now wants to go out alone with friends.
yup. and I was soooo happy that she was finally going out with her friends and having a social life. "sure, I'll stay home and watch the kids! go have some fun! you deserve it! you work hard for our family."
damn.
Itās ok. He knocked her up and she seems pretty damn miserable and it turns out that life is a lot more fun without her.
Im glad you have a positive outlook on it, good luck and best wishes
Yeah, affairs require time spent with AP. You can't cheat if you're at home with your partner. edit- I realized that isn't necessarily true. You can certainly cheat on your partner using the internet.
This is the thing I have trouble understanding about people with kids and jobs who have full-blown affairs. Aside from the immorality of cheating, how do they even find time for it? I'm married with two kids and between work, family stuff, chores, etc. almost every minute of every day is spoken for. I'm very happily married and would never have an affair, but even if I wanted to it would be logistically impossible to do without *immediately* getting caught. I literally do not have a free couple of hours in my day to sneak off and fuck some side chick in a motel or whatever. The second I'm done with work I'm out the door of my office to pick up one kid from daycare and go home while my wife is getting the other kid. Then it's time to cook dinner, put the kids to bed, do dishes, tidy up, etc. By the time we're done with all that shit it's already like 9PM and we're both tired as fuck and ready to go to bed. What lie am I supposed to come up with as an excuse to then leave the house for several hours to meet up with a mistress? "OK, babe, I'm gonna head out and meet the guys for bowling night." You know, one of those bowling leagues that plays at 10PM on a weeknight. Nothing suspicious about that! LOL. I honestly don't understand how cheaters manage to even fit an affair into their schedule without it being *painfully* obvious.
I knew this woman who was cheating on her husband for over a decade with 6 men. She's got two teenage sons and a job. Her job was flexible enough to allow her to spend time with her partners during the day while her husband worked. She'd always be home by the time her husband came home so he was completely clueless. One time she got into an accident where her legs got bruised up from a car accident and spent two weeks "at home". At least that's what her husband thought. She was actually going to some guy's place that she met right before the accident to have sex despite her leg injuries. She'd be gone for 5 to 6 hours too. Then come home before her husband did. He probably just thought his wife was at home nursing her injury the whole time. I know all this because I met her on some dating app and didn't know she was married until later but she told me all this stuff because she thought I was a scumbag who would be okay with this stuff. Anyway, don't underestimate the tenacity and lengths that some people will go to have affairs and hide them. I hate that I know all this because it's made me cynical and less trusting about my own relationships. I always think no matter how sweet and moral someone could be they could very well be someone different. I still remember how in all her pictures she'd be smiling this huge smile like she did absolutely nothing wrong while posing with her family and husband.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah. Donāt assume that your partner is cheating. But also donāt immediately defend them and assume theyāre notā¦Ā
Unaccountable time. There are stretches of time he/she is missing. They will have excuses but it usually doesnāt explain why there was no response for long stretches of time. You can be doing a bunch of things and still take seconds to text a partner.
Iāve heard about missing time for UFO abductees. Now I know that cheaters have hours of missing time they canāt remember, too! /s
What I don't understand is why cheaters don't just ACCOUNT for this. The two exes of mine who were up to no good never even thought "hey if I just respond to the first text with a 'k' it is significantly less suspicious than just not replying to anything for hours on end".
Shower as soon as they come home from a night out. Sudden changes in dress, grooming, etc. Withdrawn or overly affectionate.
Reddit often submits the former as an example of cheating, but I'd like to push back against that a bit. I think it is only suspiscious if it is a new habit and is paired with other causes for suspiscion. Were they sweating or getting dirty at work? Do they have naturally oily hair that needs to be washed at night? Were they around smokers, while they were out? Did they just come hom from the gym or a jog/run? Etc. There are lots of reasons to take a shower when coming home besides, "I just got done having sex."
D'aw look at you, telling Reddit there's other reasons to ever bathe outside of recent sex. Good on you for trying.
Since when did Reddit ever believe in bathing?
I mean yeah, if its normal or if your partner just really likes to be clean when they come home, its not a problem. I'd say the shower thing, combined with other suspicious activities, might be cause for concern. Hiding their phone, acting distant, not wanting sex or affection, not texting or calling as much, getting irratble with you, out and about at random times, no longer enjoying your company, *and* showering instantly when they get home when they normally wouldn't. All those things together are signs of cheating.
He starts shaving his balls. After 20 yrs of marriage.
And throwing clothes in the washing machine.
If the laundry pile on the floor of the garage is any indication, my wife has nothing to worry about from me.
One time i came home absolutelly drunk and smelly from all the cigarettes i smoked to fight off the drunkiness before i got home so i went to shower straight away. My gf didnt talk to me for 2 days.
i realized later that when he was cheating, he would not touch me at all, like it was cheating on the person he was cheating on me with
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Conversely, if they suddenly start treating you like shit? Also a giveaway. A lot of cheaters will feel guilty, and look for things to blame on you, so they don't have to feel quite so shitty about cheating on a good person.
I suspect my ex wife may have cheated on me. She always hated when I got female attention and was constantly looking for things wrong with me. She accused me of cheating a lot. So it was either continued insecurity or she cheated. Could be both.
I may sound like an idiot here, but what does love bombing mean? Like what are examples of it?
It's when a person will start loving up on you and giving you all the compliments and basically "loving" but over loving. Pffft I hope that made sense.
Like a glitter bomb, but with love.
I wouldn't take this as a huge giveaway unless they almost never showed affection before. I go through periods that idk if its exactly "love bombing" but I'm far more attentive, buy random gifts, and try to take a huge home work load off my wife. My career is pretty non stop and I work more than average hours to provide for our family and realize that I might fall short on the home front sometimes so when I recognize she's overwhelmed or far too tired I try to take some of the burden off while also giving her more attention and showing my appreciation. It can be a fairly noticeable change in behavior that's also linked to ADHD which includes spur of the moment or sporadic behavior. I think it's highly dependent on your existing dynamic and how well you know eachother.
Came here to say something similar, but you've already got it, and probably more eloquently than I would have. And probably not by coincidence, I'm also diagnosed ADHD.
When they're becoming short tempered around you. Like little things annoy them and proceed to push that you're cheating. They also start to keep their phone away from you.
There is a shift in the relationship energy. The vibe is off. Not something you could put a finger on but a feeling in your gut that something isnt right. Listen to your gut.
While the vibe feeling "off" can be the result of many things (and it's important to not jump immediately to extremes), I have to agree with this. I was cheated on years ago and I can remember just knowing one day and unfortunately I was right.
Fortunately. They saved you from wasting any more of your time
Appreciate that call out - you're absolutely correct! Coming up on one year being married to the most amazing human I've ever encountered and I'm thankful for every experience that led me to her.
"In order for a tree to reach heaven, it has to have its roots reach down to hell" Congrats. I'm 9 months out, due to be divorced mid July. I hope to be in your position one day.
Ehhh sometimes. I got accused of cheating all the time with my ex. She always thought I had someone else because I sometimes wasn't happy with her. It was mostly unhappiness due to dealing with non existent issues like making her feel better about a girl I was cheating with that does not exist. I would say, vibe is off is just a sign that the relationship has some things to work on, and it isn't always cheating.
This. Vibes off = must be cheating is some delusional trauma response not clairvoyance
I ignored my gut. Won't be doing that again
Congrats, you just made all of the people prone to insecurity/overthinking in this thread terribly anxious lol.
Ironically when I dealt with this it turned out to be nearly the opposite problem. It turned out that the meds she was on were severely dampening her sex drive. Her apparent disinterest and lack of desire weren't about me, and nobody else was drawing her eye either. Luckily she is a very open and honest person and we were able to work together on the problem.
I was blindsided by my husband's 10 year affair. The were absolutely NO signs at all. His affair was with his assistant at work and all the sex was in their offices or on business trips. Other than that, nothing. No late meetings, no late hours, no weekends, no calls, emails, snapstachats, or anything. She even came to our house so many times for company parties and cookouts and I never picked up on anything. Of course, I was the only one who didn't know what was going on...
i never get why no one ever says something when they know...
My husband and his partner own the business so he's their boss. They watched me welcome her into my home, hug her, compliment her, and tell everyone how much my husband relies on her. They watched me follow her around and dote on her. Some of them knew the whole 10 years and just watched me make a fool out of myself over and over again. I get it though. He's their boss and that's where their loyalty lies.
disgusting human behavior surrounded by enabling silence. yeah, no. it's just awful. how traumatizing.
Obviously I don't host anymore company gatherings. š¤¦š¼āāļø
Hopefully, he is not your husband anymore, either.
That hurts to read, and it's not entirely unfamiliar. One thing I could never get across in couples therapy (I wasn't allowed) was how humiliated I felt, after doing so many things over so many years. Things I would *never* have done if only I'd known.
How did you eventually find out?
She got tired of being the side piece and sent me a text on the 17th anniversary of our first date. I didnāt recognize the number so I thought it was a wrong number and ignored it. Thatās how positive I was that my husband would never cheat.
an ex of mine suddenly became interested in going to the gym, changed his style of underwear, started wearing aftershave daily, became very protective over new purchases (that were actually gifts from her) and spending more time 'with mates' (really her)
Omg this. My ex started to get back into running and started caring more about his clothes. And I thought he was doing it for himš
Phone always face down, never leaves the phone unattended, super defensive if you go to touch/look at it. Phones are the gateway and the biggest giveaway of the modern age, before you even get into all the other indicators about their behaviour.
Ugh. I am super defensive around my phone and I don't know what my partner must think about it. I have this massive irrational anxiety about other people handling my phone and computer from my parents randomly looking through them or looking over my shoulder and grilling me over it. Sometimes they found stuff I really didn't want them to see- me venting about them to friends,or sexy talk with someone I was dating, or having to explain why a porn ad popup on a warez site wasn't actually me "downloading porn". I also had some highschool "friends" who loved to do hilarious pranks like turn my desktop image to goatse and message creepy or abusive messages to whatever girl I was talking to recently because they thought it was hilarious. It feels like such a violation that I flinch and feel like a mini panic attack if my partner is on my phone for something. I know that she's not going to prank me, and there's nothing much there for her to see, but I can't help it.
Increasingly disrespectful.
When there are additional people you don't recognize in your bed.
I knew she was lying about the council mattress inspector.
Wait, so that wasn't her brother??
The need to ask this question. Instinct is often right.
When my older brother was initially cheated on I could tell bc of the way she began to be more passive towards him. I wasnt told of any details until after the break. However the process usually goes: 1. Fighting, drugs, other issues, or the affection begins to fade. (For him this was being an aggressive angry drunk, not giving her gifts, not giving her any attention, forgot abt the anniversary etc.) 2. She/he becomes unhappy w/ the relationship, if youre married this pressure is even worse bc its binding(they were engaged). 3. She/he starts talking to them less. Their mind begins to wander, and at some point meet other ppl that are better fits for them now.(Met a friend in their friend group) 4. They actually meet and sleep with said partners. (She slept with him for 5 months before he found out and she was kicked out) Edit:TL;DR They go from being BF/GF to just roommates who awkwardly walk pass eachother
True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
Sometimes there aren't any... Ex-wife cheated on me... a LOT. She was a master manipulator and hid everything perfectly. I only know what I know from what she told me after one of her partners told me what was going on.
If youāre male and in the military and go on a 15 month deployment and come home to see your wife/girlfriend greet you at the airport with a newborn kid. Happened to a buddy of mine. So fucked up.
Suddenly working "late" or going out with friends or coworkers more, hiding their phone more or never leaving it in sight, starting more arguments, withdrawn from any intimacy
If you're reasonably sane you're probably right if it's in your guts.
A sudden change in behaviour which could be both positive and negative (i.e more self confidence, more adventurous in the bedroom) could be subtle, could be obvious but it will be sudden (i.e within a few weeks) and there will be no apparent reason for this change Also on their phone a lot more than usual.
When he starts accusing you of cheating when you go through his phone and find out he's been cheating the whole relationship .
Going out with āfriendsā with no invite or heads up.
So Iāve learned from this post that the biggest sign youāre being cheated on is if youāre in a relationship
Always hiding their phone, never lets you touch it.
Partner suddenly starts doing something very different with their appearance. For me, my ex suddenly asked me to shave his back (I know, I know). But he had NEVER mentioned being unhappy with hair anywhere on his body at any point prior, so it was suspicious.Ā
Hold up, your husband would ask you to shave his back for his girlfriend? Trifling no flexibility havin assā¦
When hanging out with your friends is a problem but she can go out to the bar with her friends for a girls night every weekend
A sudden burning sensation when you pee.
When some of their messages on Facebook Messenger have dick pics or her saying she still loves them. Idk I'm no expert.
Uses every opportunity to avoid you, claims you are suffocating her and dismisses ideas of time alone or vacations together.
I accused my ex of cheating since we never saw each other anymore(didnt see each other for over a month) and she would get angry if i brought it up saying im suffocating her because i want us to see each other all the time.. and she said im projecting and that she would never cheat. Well, soon after all of this, she broke up with me and was in a new relationship 3 days later.
They be comin home 5 in the morn somethin's going on
Lemme smell yoā dick!
Strong projection on you cheating or Always scared you will cheat. For three years with a jealous partner never did something to make him jealous..discovered he was cheating the whole Time even during my pregnancy..damn
When she talks about her new male great friend ad nauseam
A little tip if your cheating partner says "Check my phone." Be sure to check the chat logs on gaming apps.
When your GF complains about crusty dick after youāre back from working out.
In my experience, checking out of the relationship. That was pre-smartphone though, Iām sure now itās all tech-related.
They say that you're cheating
If you know in your heart that you've been completely faithful but they keep saying things like: ...and you're out doing god knows what...
When his dick is crusty and smells fishy after the gym and you go to askreddit to figure out how to broach the subject of it without embarrassing him.
Two subtle clues I had with a couple relationships.. 1. Suddenly obsessed with new music thatās outside their norm 2. Talking about an anonymous friend they have at work , school, etc.. Of course , those are just smaller subtle ones
This is based on my experience: *He will be nice, sweet and doing things that he doesnāt do occasionally. *You canāt touch his phone *Argue over little things *Constant jealousy *And most likely accused me cheating on him
If they suddenly become very suspicious or accusatory of you when they werenāt like that before and you havenāt done anything that may warrant it
They won't let you get near their phone.
When the babyās DNA does not match your own
Something I havenāt seen mentioned, but sometimes they will actively talk about the person theyāre cheating on you with in a negative light. Almost as if it will keep your suspicions down because it seems like they canāt stand them.
If you catch her naked in bed with another man, there is a decent chance she may be cheating on you.Ā
being secretive with their phone, acting distant, sudden changes in routine, gut feeling is usually right
When sheās forming the relationship with the other person sheāll be mad at you for everything but then when she sleeps with them sheāll feel guilt and start being overly affectionate.
When they come home from the gym and their dick is crusty and smells like fish
One of my favorite bits from Office Space was when Peter wondered out loud whether his GF was cheating on him and everyone else in the scene scoffed and went "huh, yeah I think maybe." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLKFqCLNkzM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLKFqCLNkzM)
When they spend more time with a "family friend" than you.
The baby is a different colour.
You walk in on them having sex with someone else
Suddenly being secretive and disinterested in you when they weren't before
They suspect/accuse you of cheating just for casually talking to someone else.
When you walk in on her sucking someone's peener.
They are more critical of you and get angry when nothing was really wrong. They over explain/excuse themselves, even when not asked. More showers, more absences, more gripes.
When they put their cock in someone else is a dead giveaway
She has a penis in her mouth and it's not attached to you.
They're not at work, but on a surfing trip with another guy in San Diego.
becoming defensive or evasive when asked about their whereabouts, and displaying unexplained mood swings or guilt.
Pay attention to sudden urge to lose weight and long hours at work
When you accidentally open the wrong email one day and theyāre telling someone else that they wish you had a greater sex drive even though the bitch likes to lay there like a bump on a log and not give blowjobsā¦with you. Then, you cut that bitch off.
They are having sex in your bed with someone else is a good indicator.
Clearest sign is when you find him inside someone else. Or someone in them.
they come home from the gym with a crusty, fishy smelling dick
Well, when my ex started cheating on me, she started staying out late more often with her co workers (who she cheated on me with). She was also on her phone with them constantly.
depends on what your standards are on cheating. but if your partner breaks those standards, they're cheating.
Catching her ex railing her. Pretty much decimated that relationship.
Jizz on her skirt is a pretty big sign.
she's always on her phone around you and hides the screen
Their energy towards you suddenly changes and your gut says there is something wrong even if you donāt know what it is yet.
Distance.
You know them best, anything that is out of their routine. More of this or less if that What and how they spend their time.
Grindr notification sound coming from their phone
Maybe you see them kissing someone else on the lips that you don't know.
If they accuse you of cheating then itās extremely highly most likely nearly 100% sure they are cheating. Guilt tripping the other.
When their penis is inside another person
Accusing you of cheating. It is called projection. Hanging out with people you are uncomfortable with. Emotional cheating is the start of a physical relationship.
Honestly if you have to question it even a little bit your better off just leaving. If you can't trust the person your with don't be with them.
If you suspect something and youāre not just some crazy jealous weirdo, I guarantee you they are cheating. You should trust your gut on that.
Making this post
Accusing you of cheating Saying your spying on them Be very defensive over cell even sleeping on top of it New friends staying out later New under wear Change of grooming habits down there Listening to new music band group or genre Saying there working more. Get startled when there cell rings or gets text message. Going into other room in middle of night to talk to someone using a low voice. Wanting to try new positions sexual things. Usually thereās an increase in sexual affection at least initially they it fades away to nothing. Spending more than beforeā¦ A few of these doesmt mean there cheatingā¦. If you got a handful they are definitely cheating. If you suspect there cheating do not confront theyāll go under ground and you could be wrong. Always remember cheaters donāt get caught every time they cheat. Just like criminals they do numerous crimes usually before there ever caught.
Regular sex goes away to super infrequent or non existent. They get snippy with you more than before. They drop hints of their affairs as if they want to tell you but canāt/wonāt. āSuper busy at work and had to stay lateā constantly. Wanting to go to a place (restaurant, bar, etc) and they are adamant about not going (only to find out later it was theirās and APās āplaceā).
The easiest way to spot a cheater is sudden change in sexual behaviour. Itās not rocket science, if someone has sex with you in a certain way and they then f&ck in very different ways theyāve definitely learned that from another woman. Thatās why itās so obvious when you sleep with a man, you can even tell the profile of their previous partners.
Projection. Mine was cheating on me for years and acted like I was the one engaging in infidelity (I never did in our 4-year long tumultuous relationship!)
Some studies show an increase in intimacy is actually a sign because the cheaters feel they have to make up for it
They get a phone call and walk outside to take it on the porch.
Catching them in bed with another person (and they're not sleeping).
Don't worry about him, we are just friends
If you catch them having sex with another person
They slowly stop talking to you
Ā there'sĀ a penis in a vagina that does not belong to you
Fucking other people.
They're in bed with someone when you come home from work
Unfortunately, unless you actually catch them in the physical act, every sign mentioned here could also be NOT cheating.
This is how I knew my wife was sleeping with another man: Her nipples tasted like an old cigar.Ā
When they start accusing you of cheating, odds are theyāre projecting.
When they mustache smells funny
when I've been cheated on..... She started working late and was withdrawn when she got home. Lost sex drive. Lack of communication from her when there were obvious problems in the relationship. Gaslighting me accusing me of cheating... when it was her all along. No effort in the relationship. Started spending more time at her friend's house.... who happened to be roommates with the guy she cheated with. They ended up getting married then she cheated on him with her high school flame. Guess karma is a bitch .
Only ever had 2 relationships, both were almost 5years and both cheated on me. The amount of time and communication they used to have with you noticeably lessens, they start to make the effort again of looking good, and mostly for me, its just a gut feeling. The way they look at you changes or sometimes avoid eye contact. There's always a point where you just know its over.
New moves in bed
Nice try bob.
The level of distance combined with how they socialize. I've been able to tell when a lot of my friends where being cheated from the first time I met their at the time partners. Usually couples have a way of keeping a vibe around them around other people that when they are around other people. Its not even being necessarily affectionate in public. Its just maintaining an atmosphere that makes it well understood that they are leaving the gathering together, no matter what. Its when this atmosphere isn't being maintained usually cheating is happening. It just comes that something about the fact the partners are in a relationship isn't being respected. It could be one partner socializes with other people as if their partner was another friend that they came with.