THIS! Been attacked before because their intimidation failed and they left. We thought we were fine. Nope. Came back with a group. We're all okay now and no lasting physical injuries but we were lucky. Always gtfo, even if it seems the situation is passed because people with ego that big WILL come to take it back.
Reminds me of a thing in high school where some friends got into it with these Albanian kids. They left and I knew shit was going to get hairy (I worked with an Albanian guy at the time and the stories he told me…) but my friends were too high on testosterone. That is until an armada of acuras started pulling up. Went from “We got this” to”we got to get the fuck out of here” real quick”, and we booked it through a little forest into the city dump. At one point we fell down this hill and were just getting pin balled by trees the whole way down, which was far preferable to baseball bats.
When breaking up a bar brawl, a smart bouncer will kick all the involved parties out for this very reason.
Even if you were totally in the right and justifiably were just defending yourself, you should listen to that bouncer and leave that bar. Hell, I'd leave ASAP even if no one asked me to.
The bouncer is not kicking out the “non-guilty” party to protect you.
They do it because:
- they don’t want to risk more fighting (other guys coming back, or having friends still inside)
- in many cases it can be very hard to know “who was right”. Kicking out both side is the practical and simple way to avoid being the judge, getting it wrong and things backfiring on you…
Facts. After living in Boston and LA for a few years I learned this shit real quick. Do not try to act tough in the street at night because you will get checked.
I always having a funny conversation with my female friends whenever we’ve been out for drinks and I say I’m going to walk home. They always say “oh don’t go that way you’ll get stabbed/mugged/ass raped/stabbed again”
I’m a 6’4” fairly well built guy who minds his own business generally, I’ve never once had anyone even give me a second look in any of these situations. If something did happen, I’d be completely useless, but people just don’t seem to want to mess with me.
I’ve even had the same friends talk about how nice it is walking around with me because they can see the “tall privilege” in action and feel safer because I’m there.
I only really noticed when it was pointed out to me that people act differently around people my size, but I’ll take it.
Exactly. Anyone who's been in a dangerous situation will tell you this. I told a story here on reddit a little while back about how I helped these 2 girls get away from a crazy schitzo homeless guy. Someone kept asking me why I didn't shove the guy, or tell him to fuck off, or get in his face and be aggressive to him. Like, what's the point? The dude wont understand what I'm saying, and the goal is to get everyone safe.
As a young idiot, I once asked my husband, “If a guy touches me what would you do?” He said, “Probably nothing.” I was like, “Oh my gosh what? Not fight for me?!?” He said, “I would be sorry you were touched by someone without your consent but I cannot win against a gun, a knife or a group of guys so our best bet would be to leave the situation.”
That’s when I realized I was in fact an absolute moron. If a man threatens my life my husband will do something. If my life is not in danger you deal with whatever it is to stay alive.
Edit: my husband is 6’6”. Still will not get in confrontations with people. Because he’s intelligent.
As a fellow tall guy I’ve had my fair share of drunk bozos trying to act hard at the pub to get a rise out of me because I was the biggest guy in the room. We learn quickly to just not give them the satisfaction. We have nothing to prove to them so it’s not worth risking our health or safety, or the safety of those around us, to satisfy some little jumped up kids ego. Just remove yourself from the situation as gracefully as possible and carry on with your evening.
Let’s go! Good for you. Tall guys go through a lot of strange things in life.
As a fellow dumbass woman who thought fighting meant being “manly”, I quickly learned being with my calm, kind, cool-headed husband, that fighting is stupid shit. Lol.
“Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” 😊
Agree with this. Knew a guy was built like a tank and huge. He got into an altercation not even his fault but the drunk guys thought it was him. Outside they hit him with a bottle and he nearly died and was in a coma and never fully recovered. It's really not worth it.
Reminds me of that awful video from Pennsylvania I think? of two neighbors getting into it over like shoveling or some shit, guy comes back and shoots both of his neighbors dead- all caught on camera. You never know how far someone’s willing to go.
I saw this episode of "Fear Thy Neighbor" They had been persistently antagonizing him for quite some time. I'm talking very aggressive bullying. They had been at him(a veteran I might add)for months. Not saying it was justified, but it was far from a spontaneous isolated argument over snow placement.
Thank you for this comment. The older man was "in my opinion" tortured by the couple across the street. I do not agree with the gunman's actions. I understand that he had reached his end. He killed the couple and then went home and killed himself.
I thank you for your effort to extend information and understanding.
Would also like to add it wasnt just bullying they had threatened to burn his house down several times and the night of the shooting they were letting off bottle rockets in front of his house yelling
My wife’s grandparents had a weekend home in the mountains and I was playing my guitar in the backyard one morning because I’m an early riser and she is not. I suddenly had a feeling that I was in danger and I look up and walking up the road is a bear. I still have no idea how my brain could have possibly known before I saw or heard it.
LOTS of potential things could have happened - a change in the sounds from underbrush wildlife (rabbits, squirrels, etc.), some sounds the bear made that didn't register with you consciously, your peripheral vision may have caught a glimpse of something (again not registering consciously), or even a bit of scent on the breeze that you don't specifically recognize, but some instinctive part of your brain recognizes as predator... Your brain is very good at keeping you safe, or at least trying to!
Went to a music festival last weekend. Went to check out the 2nd stage and right when we got there some dude was mad dogging me hard. Me and my friends shrugged it off and moved to another spot in the crowd. A few mins later caught a dude trying to pick pocket my phone. Looked and my friend and said time to go back to other stage. Vibes felt weird AF from the moment we got to that stage. Should have left after first interaction.
Know your turf. Know your neighborhood well enough that if it was late at night and you got into trouble, you would know where to go for help.
Deflect. I had a very large scary woman get in my face and start screaming “what are you looking at?”
I just said “your earrings, those are so cute! I love the color “. This was completely unexpected, and it worked
Knew a guy who got mugged in a parking garage. He starting singing at the top of his lungs, the mugger turned around in his confusion, giving a window for escape.
Reminds me of marines tossing rubber duckies like flash bangs when breaching. Guys in the room were massively confused why there’s a rubber ducky all of a sudden
For dudes when dudes yell this, the simplest is 'Oh, nothing, sorry man — just spacing out, it's been a long day. How's it going?' Don't be too apologetic or deferential, but don't be confrontational or smartass either. The goal is to be confident, like the implied threat is beneath your concern.
Other good ones if you are caught staring and someone confronts you are "Sorry for staring, but did you go to Polk Middle School in Boise in 1998 (or wherever/whenever lol), you look so familiar?" or "Are you related to Tim Jones? He and I go way back and you've just got to be his brother."
Always deescalate, especially with a confrontational psycho.
I wasn't in the worst area, but it wasn't the nicest. I was having to get something out of the back of my car and while I was bending into the back door these 3 big guys tweaked out on something crept up behind me and pretty much had me cornered so at best I could jump in my back seat but even then they would have been easily able to block me from shutting the door. Thankfully I apparently had a song the biggest guy loved playing and he started talking music with me and the two others just started looking really confused and uneasy and I just went along with it. Finally one of the other ones asked me if I had any spare money and the big guy just exploded on him saying never ask a friend of his for money and they all kinda scattered a bit since he was about to start kicking their asses then. Needless to say, I got the fuck out of there as fast as I could.
For big men with tiny brain and big ego, this can backfire big time.
You can say “oh sorry man she looks like a friend of mine. You have a beautiful girlfriend man. You guys look good together. Have a good day”
Walk with purpose. Look ahead and stride confidently. If you're looking around and walking timidly, you'll be seen as lost, possibly a tourist, an easy mark.
Did this while walking around Napoli last week. We were purposely getting lost so we could see the real Napoli but we walked like we knew where we were going at all times.
I got told that Napoli is actually now super safe.
Covid completely annihilated tourism (obviously) but the mafia realised that they needed tourists back to make money. Apparently the mafia sent out blanket orders that ‘none fucks with tourists’ to keep and entice the tourists to come back and keep coming back.
So now if you do steal/attack, do anything anti tourist, you have to answer to the mafia.
Been like that for decades. I was in Napoli a good 20years ago. Absolutely no petty theft, tourist scamming etc. going on, mafia really looking out for the tourists there.
Been to Rome the following year, complete opposite.
Yeah my partner had an attempted pickpocket on the escalator coming out of a station there. But it was so amateur we kinda just laughed. So so different to Paris or Barcelona where it’s so organised you don’t even realise it’s gone!
In the movie Spartan a Delta operator has to quickly teach the hostage he rescued to be aware of her surroundings: “In the forest there’s always a sound. In the desert there’s always a smell. And in the city there’s always a reflection.”
I keep an eye on shop windows to see if anyone is following behind me, not to window shop.
Also if it's dark enough, I keep an eye on my shadow when I go past a lightsource to see if someone elses shadow comes up close.
I'll intentionally scuff my shoes in gravel because of how often I've heard "step when they step to cover your noise" given as sneaky advice. Someone following you will misstep or make a scuff you can hear that definitely didn't come from your shoe.
There's all kinds of behaivior that I do that people think I'm weird for, but I also am still around to talk about it all.
When pulling up behind someone at a red light i always leave enough room in front of me if i need to quickly steer around and gtfo of there. Works for carjackings, runaway tractor trailers, meteors, diahrrea, etc
I used to put up fencing on the south side of Chicago.
Very few people like to do any trades work on the south side for good reason. It sucks because there is a ton of work there. Anyway I learned real quick why no one pulls all the way up behind a car in the drive through at McDonald's.
Everyone leaves a sizeable gap.
A good rule of thumb for this is if you stay far enough back to see where their rear wheels touch the road surface, you should have enough space to pull around them with full steering lock.
copied from another post on reddit:
"I live in LA, and downtown LA isn’t exactly the best place at night.
I was going to a dispensary late at night in 2015, in an area of downtown that’s not heavily lit, and very empty. No cars, no people, just a few run down buildings on Main Street.
It was late, around 11 pm and the dispensary was just closing up. I came out, by myself, and started walking to my car. I was maybe 200 feet from my car, and saw these guys across the street in an a huddle. As I started walking closer to my car, I had this feeling they clearly weren’t up to any good. So I started walking a little faster to my car, and one of the dudes screams over, “why you walking so fast man?” And they started to walk towards me.
Rather than answer and pause, I decided to start running to my car, and unlocked it and got in. As I was starting my car, they had run up to the back of my car and just as I drove off, one of them slashed the back of my bumper with a knife and they screamed “good thing you got those white boy instincts.”
Sometimes it’s literally a matter of one second and making that crucial decision to not stop that saved my life."
Usually it’s waiting for drug sales, 90% of the time people just standing around in a sketchy area are selling drugs. 10% of the time they are looking for a victim
Young men ages 16-26 are the most dangerous people in society, everywhere in the world. Especially if there’s a small group of them and a pack mentality compounds the machismo and insecurity.
No elders around to keep them in check, no matriarch to tell em they being fucking dipshits, it's loss of community+poverty unfortunately, but sometimes a lot kids even in the hood grow up with good influences, people watching out for them and it can make all the difference
On the flip side, as a friend told me years ago but I haven't been able to prove false:
A dead giveaway that you're in a safe area is when there are white and Asian people walking and jogging outside.
If it seems wrong, it is wrong. You don't have to stop when someone random talks to you on the street. Don't gawk and look up; just keep moving to where you're going. Cross to the other side of the street if you don't like what you see ahead. Be wary of distraction: one person starts shouting at something, while their partner grabs your bag. There are two speeds on the street: move fast, or get out of the way. Wallets don't go in your back right pocket. Three-card monte is not a game.
Optional: Don't walk down the street with your cans in. This might be generational, but I'm a native New Yorker and don't think it wise to not hear what's going on around you.
My boyfriend and I were getting off a city bus at a transit center. I told him that I needed to go to the restroom. We crossed the street to go to a busy gas station. He was walking on my left and suddenly, he switched over to my right very quickly. A young guy ran past us, jumped into a car and left. I asked my boyfriend why he switched sides. He told me that I was about to get jumped. I said, "Are you serious? We're out in broad daylight at a busy gas station near a busy intersection. How did you know he was about to jump me?". He said that he heard footsteps running behind us. I didn't hear them. My advice: Even if it's daytime and you're in a busy area, listen to what's going on behind you -- you never know. It was a couple of weeks before Christmas, and he and the driver probably pulled that scam all over town. Be careful out there.
I was hiking in the woods the other week and came across a young lady with big headphones on. She was solo.
Like, we have bears here. They're black bears, so they might just run off, but if you bump into Mama bear and her cubs...
Some people just don't consider the dangers. Plus, who tf stays connected in the woods???
I had some electronic earmuffs for shooting and they actually enhanced my hearing and only cancelled out the extremely loud sounds like the gunshots. There was a spot I used to go to shoot and I could hear cars coming from a mile away . If I was a mechanic I could have probably diagnosed most of the cars by the engine noise. Also at the indoor range, it made talking to other people so much better.
ANC do often have a transparency mode though - helps filter out a bit of the background noise, but you can still hear a shuffle step coming up from behind you.
Ugh I wish I knew this when I went to Vegas. Some dudes in leather offered to take pictures with me and we got swindled out of $20. What a crock of shit. I’m still mad about it
I always hear that advice being thrown around but never really figured out how to apply it. What should be actively done to look like you "belong" there?
It pretty much means "Keep walking and looking forward"
If you've got a map or phone out or if you keep looking lost or amused by your surroundings, then clearly you're either a tourist or visitor, and these people are the easiest to prey on.
This is most evident in really congested cities like NYC. You can spot tourists from a mile away because they often have no idea where they're really going, whereas everyone else just walks and ignores everything around them.
greyman theory; put the minds to sleep.
I feel like a good example is this: you at a football game and the home team is wearing white.
what color should you wear? white
don't try to zig when everybody zags just follow the herd.
If someone is buying you a drink, that drink needs to go from the staff to you. Observe the chain of custody. Be suspicious of any drink that was walked across the room by a (non-staff) stranger.
Yep. Was at a bar with friends celebrating my birthday, and the bartender gave me a drink saying one of the patrons got it for me for my bday. Shortly after drinking it I completely black out, and the next thing I remember is my friend and her dad dragging me out of his car and onto their couch. Turns out that my stalker at the time was at the bar and colluded with the bartender to roofie me.
Never accept a free drink from anyone, including the staff, unless you’ve watched them pick up the empty glass and pour it so that it’s within your line of sight at all times.
So true. I tell my daughter to cuss them the fuck out too. Use every swear you've ever dream of, as loud as possibly. Bite, piss yourself, spit, anything and everything. Nothing is off limits.
If they were gonna kill you, they'll kill you while running away or refusing to go with them regardless. At least my family would know what happened to me.
You kids get yourself a money clip, okay. You can get them at any haberdashery. You put a $50 bill in it, and when a guy flashes a blade you say "you want my money, go get it" then throw it, and run the other direction.
Edit: [link](https://youtu.be/cdgfFMxgLfI?t=3m08s) to the John Mulaney bit this came from.
This happened to me, sort of. Guy pulls a knife and I just threw my wallet at him and it hit his face by accident. Turns out he was so drunk, he stumbled and fell backwards. I saw he could barely get up so I grabbed my wallet back and walked briskly away.
My car automatically unlocks the doors when I put it in park. It's the default setting.
I struggled through Google and the manual to figure out how to turn that off, because fuck that shit. The doors stay LOCKED when I'm in park, tyvm.
We live in what I thought was a very safe neighborhood, so never did this until we had a neighbor sneak in and rob us in the middle of the night.
You can bet we started always locking our doors after that.
Reading these makes me want to give a big thank you, again, to the man that saw how worried I was that day in line at the atm and not only didn't leave me with that weirdo that kept staring and making gross comments, but *stood between us*, letting me get into my car first and leave, making the man wait.
I was so scared. I had to make that deposit and it was the only bank branch around. You treated me like I was your sister and if you had walked off I *know* I'd have been in trouble.
I hope you're somewhere loved, well-fed, happy, and I hope you get everything you want for Christmas ♡
And for the love of God don't post about it on social media to let the whole world know your place is ripe for the picking. Most crimes are committed by people in the same general area, too. Routine activity theory. Oh, and a "beware of dog" sign is 10× more effective than all the "owner is armed/house protected by Smith and Wesson" flexing you can fit on a fence.
We had the best dog in the world, and we all figured he was the worst guard dog. Never ever looked up when we rolled into the driveway, wouldn’t get out of his dog house, super chill.
We had long time friends feed him when we were gone, people he had known since he was a puppy. Would not let them through the 6’ gate at all. Jumping and snarling at them. Okay, maybe he was also the best guard dog too. They just threw his food over the gate and left. RIP Drake, you were the best boy.
If you are traveling and someone gives you a free bracelet, necklace, piece of art etc, don't take it. Once you do, a bunch of the persons friends will show up and hound you for money.
Be polite; it is so simple and yet seriously overlooked, got myself out of some dangerous situations just by being polite.
Think; don't react, just think about what you are going to do next, reacting without thinking means you have to suffer consequences later down the line.
listen to your body, your feelings, they are normally telling you something for a reason. Better to be Wrong than dead.
It's difficult to give much as most are learned through experience to know what to look for
Edit: I need to readjust my advice on being polite; there are times when being polite is a no go especially (as it wasn't in my mind at the time) women. If someone is being forceful, rude, going to take offense, are a lot stronger or intimidating than you or you feel unsafe (listen to your body and feelings) just dip, don't interact, don't give them ammunition, just walk on, be aware of what's going on around and behind you, listen to their footsteps and voice, are they getting louder or closer. Don't directly look behind you but get in a position where you can use your peripheral vision. It is absolutely NOT cowardice to run. Even our smart hood gangsters dip and run.
Use your own survival instincts, be aware of your feelings, think: you really need to use your own common sense and learn how to be safe.
My examples are general and like I said before a lot is down to experience
I feel like this one applies to certain situations and people.
As a woman I’ve had to learn to not be polite. Women are taught to go along and not cause trouble, but when some creep starts talking to me like he knows me I’m not afraid to be rude. I’ll make a scene, I’ll make him uncomfortable and make sure I’m safe over making sure I’m being polite. Especially if I’m in a crowded area.
So, while being polite is correct to a degree, you cannot always be polite as a woman. If it feels wrong, get the fuck out and don’t worry about hurt feelings.
I had an incident just last week where I was leaving a night out trying to get an Uber and one guy on the periphery of the crowd I was with kept pestering me for my address "so I can place it on my mental grid" and wouldn't take " Who the fuck are you? Absolutely not, I am NOT telling you my address" for an answer. I started making a scene, shouting very loudly around the street "HEY CAN SOMEONE HANG WITH ME UNTIL MY UBER COMES, THIS WEIRDO KEEPS PESTERING ME FOR MY ADDRESS AND I'M WORRIED HE'LL TRY TO GET IN".
He got angry and said that I was being very rude, he was only trying to be friendly and I shouldn't call him weird, but as the group gathered round he changed to spluttering out that he was only asking because he liked to make mental maps, then praising me for being concerned about my personal safety, all while insisting that it wasn't weird at all to be asking for the address of someone he'd never met or spoken to. The public humiliation totally worked, though, and he walked away with his tail between his legs.
It took about 25 minutes to get an Uber and I spent that chatting to a nice woman who stayed with me instead of being creeped on by some fucking weirdo. I know plenty of women who wouldn't dream of making a scene like that and would have endured the creepiness but I'm too long in the tooth for that shite, and I was more furious than uncomfortable.
Politeness can get you out of a lot of sticky situations, can stop a fight from breaking out, can calm a business owner or employee down if you accidentally did something wrong, waiters will be way nicer to you and might actually give you complimentary stuff
Also (maybe, on a long shot) humor or just doing the ridiculous. I once had a gun stuck in my face by an older guy I sort of knew in my college dorm with a "gimme your money." I told him that's not real.
He was like "yeah it is."
I was like "Naw. I don't believe you."
This went on for a little until he had me hold it to prove it was real. Lol.
Funny little moment when I'm holding the gun and I look at him. All of the sudden we both realize what he did and I could see a little fear in his eyes.
I was like- "Yuuup, this is real. You better take it back before I do something dumb."
Gave the dude the gun back and walked away. I think we were both a little confused and I used that moment to keep walking the way I had been when he first stuck it in my face.
Heard later on that a bunch of people in my dorm actually got jacked, I'm fairly sure with the same gun getting handed off between different people.
To be fair, these weren't desperate or hardened criminals. Just dumb college kids who maybe had a little background in that world. What I did wasn't a tactic or anything- just what actually happened without thinking about the situation. DON'T TRY THIS THINKING IT WILL WORK. I do wonder if it was actually loaded. Lol. I will never forget the look on the guy's face when we both realized that somehow I was holding the gun, though.
Walk with purpose even if you have no idea where you are or what you're doing. Most people won't fuck with someone who looks like they have somewhere to be.
Running away is better than fighting. It's better to live as "a fool who runs" than to die by underestimating someone's fighting strength or whether or not they're armed.
If people look at you like you're out of place, you're out of place. That's your sign to leave and you should do so immediately.
That sketchy bodega with bars on the window and bulletproof glass is the safest place around and the person behind the counter is definitely armed. If you're ever being followed on foot and can't make it to another safe place, go there to get help.
Blend in with the crowd. Wear a dark-colored shirt and jeans when you're headed somewhere questionable, you'll be able to disappear into crowds and not be an easy target. Don't wear hats or bright-colored shirts where someone can follow you through a crowd easily.
Trust your gut -- JDFR: Just Don't Feel Right. If something just don't feel right, it's not right.
The Bodega thing is something I hadn’t thought about before. But it makes sense. In a sketchy area, the place that looks like it has been robbed before is probably a safer place than the shop that’s suspiciously open and accessible to the public.
When at a club, always know where all the exits are.
My friends used to laugh at me for doing that, until one night there was a shooting at the club. While everyone made a mad dash for the main entrance, I grabbed her hand and ran in the opposite direction. We missed the mad crush at the door and made it out back fine. They never laughed again about me looking around.
In Memphis they were always coming home from church or going to their grandma’s house (at 2 am), when either “these two dudes” or “this one bitch” just came out of nowhere and attacked them.
If the cops could just catch those two dudes and that one bitch, crime would plummet.
OMG THIS! First of all I could NEVER for the life of me understand why ANYONE would treat a food service worker badly. If you only knew the amount of things one could do to your food just because you make them feel bad. I could never be impolite to ANY police officer ever even provoked..the odds are never in your favor if that person is a dick and if that person is cool you could potentially made a connection that you could use later.
I always compliment the bouncer, “you must get all the ladies huh,” etc these people have the power to alter your night in a terrible way./be smart
If you’re in a large parking lot or structure, pay attention for anyone standing around or walking aimlessly. Take special note if anyone changes direction and starts walking directly towards you - it’s often an encounter best avoided.
Robbery is a fringe crime. It's something that occurs on the fringes of crowds. The robber needs the crowd to supply his victim, but he can't get too close to the same. Too far away from the crowd and there's nobody to rob. Too close, and he can't do it safely. Criminals lurk on the fringes. Where there're light and noise, there're crowds; if you avoid the fringe, your chances of getting robbed decrease markedly.
If you suspect someone is following you, make three right turns. If they follow you through all the turns, calmly drive to the nearest police station, and notify the police.
If you're walking somewhere eerie and happen to make eyecontact with a baddie, just keep going and break eyecontact without any change in facial expression. Like stated before: you are there deliberately and they are none of your business. You are not validating them, and you are less likely to be seen as prey. If this may fail, sprint thou.
If somebody keeps bugging you in public, your instinct to get away is wrong. When you ask for help from a shopkeeper they'll protect you and solicit the help of other shopkeepers, who recognize the troublemakers.
I had a grocery store owner tell me to go sit at a nearby restaurant. I had a drink and watched my antagonizer give up on me and target/follow somebody else. I stayed ten minutes more then bought food from the grocer before continuing on my way.
This is "when you're in trouble, ask a mother for help" but for adults. In the 2nd and 3rd world countries that I've been to the shopkeepers are fiercely proud of their hold on the neighborhood, and their language skills are extraordinary.
If someone steps out of someplace where you couldn't see them in front of you, and blocks you, the one who is going to attack you is behind you already behind you.
When walking towards someone, signal with your eyes which direction you are going to pass them.
You will never do the awkward ‘walk into each other’ again.
“Hey my man” never has to be responded to, or anyone asking you for nonsense or unnecessary small talk, don’t even give them the time of day
Have your hands free, had a cup of coffee in each hand one morning in Oakland and had a crackhead looking at me like bait.
Have good footwear on so you can move, dude wearing flip flops is easy target
Move and stride with a sense of purpose, strong survive
Walk where you can be seen by others, even it is not the most direct path, especially at night, stay under lights
If you must walk through a bad area, do so with your head held high, your fists clenched and looking like your begging someone to knock the chip off your shoulder.
Friend of mine lived in an area with lots of robberies and muggings, and even though he's not big, he did everything stated above and never had an issue with anyone.
If you look like you're aware of your surroundings and are ready to take on anyone who gives you hassle, you stand a good chance of being left alone.
I think that depends on where you're at. Where I'm at it's best to look people in the eyes, throw a nod, and keep moving. If you don't they'll think you're scared or aren't paying attention.
Absolutely, I get cultural/geolocation differences, but I always see people saying avoid eye contact because it's a sign of aggression and don't get it. Prolonged eye contact is a sign of aggression sure, but refusing eye contact is a sign of victimhood everywhere I've ever lived.
Always look like you know where you go
If you feel danger its probablly dangerous
When you travel abroad and someone offers you a bracelet or show you a magic trick or wqnt to help you carry your lagguage or offer to take you to massage place they tryna rob you/ pickpocket you
If an old lady comes up to you and tries to give you a flower (especially in London), don't take it - it's a way of labelling you as a mark for pickpockets (edit - and professional beggars) further down the street.
Stop looking at your damned phone when you are walking to your car in a parking lot. Look around, everywhere, especially at night. Head down, looking at your phone says easy prey. Looking up, sweeping the area visually says not so easy prey.
I know this one from experience. Walking in a bad neighborhood in Kensington. Walking past a dude in the middle of the day on the sidewalk. He said “yo you dropped your pocket” and pointed at my feet. When I looked down, i caught a uppercut and got laid out, and my pockets run. Got up maybe a min later like what the f. Didn’t have much on me at the time. I didn’t even have a cell phone. Got to the house I was going to, called cops, called bank to stop my card that maybe had like $200 on it. Of course nothing ever happened. But from then on if someone in a shit neighborhood try’s to distract my attention from them within that zone I just stare em right in the eye and keep waking. Works.
•Don’t talk about where you are going on the underground (subway/metro/trams). People listen and follow.
•If you are planning on travelling in places like Paris/London/New York/Tokyo/Hong Kong blend in, pack plain and simple colours. You can be spotted way in a crowd and people love to take advantage of tourists if you are wearing bright colours.
•If you are planning on travelling to a public space, don’t bring a normal back pack. Being a bag with pockets that face you or a purse or side bag were you have more vision if someone is gonna steal from you.
I was going to say that. I’ve lived in Tokyo for years. Never seen a safer city in my life. Rules are simpler: hands visible on public transport, be careful in Kabukicho, don’t talk to touts and don’t follow anyone to a bar.
If a cop says he just wants to ask you a couple questions, he already thinks you did it and he's trying to trick you. Ask if you're under arrest. If no, ask if you're free to go, if no, say you want your lawyer and don't say another word.
Gave a sketchy guy in Hawaii $10 for a gram of bud. We walked to an alley where he told me to wait and he'd be back with the stuff in five minutes. It's been fifteen years now, I think he may have tricked me.
Learn how to look behind you without making it obvious: make a habit out of looking 90 degrees left or right and use your peripheral vision in order to check if someone is following you.
If someone abruptly leaves a fight, they haven’t given up. They’ve gone to get backup/a weapon.
THIS! Been attacked before because their intimidation failed and they left. We thought we were fine. Nope. Came back with a group. We're all okay now and no lasting physical injuries but we were lucky. Always gtfo, even if it seems the situation is passed because people with ego that big WILL come to take it back.
Reminds me of a thing in high school where some friends got into it with these Albanian kids. They left and I knew shit was going to get hairy (I worked with an Albanian guy at the time and the stories he told me…) but my friends were too high on testosterone. That is until an armada of acuras started pulling up. Went from “We got this” to”we got to get the fuck out of here” real quick”, and we booked it through a little forest into the city dump. At one point we fell down this hill and were just getting pin balled by trees the whole way down, which was far preferable to baseball bats.
“Armada of Acuras” is the most Albanian-in-the-US thing ever lol
When breaking up a bar brawl, a smart bouncer will kick all the involved parties out for this very reason. Even if you were totally in the right and justifiably were just defending yourself, you should listen to that bouncer and leave that bar. Hell, I'd leave ASAP even if no one asked me to.
The bouncer is not kicking out the “non-guilty” party to protect you. They do it because: - they don’t want to risk more fighting (other guys coming back, or having friends still inside) - in many cases it can be very hard to know “who was right”. Kicking out both side is the practical and simple way to avoid being the judge, getting it wrong and things backfiring on you…
Avoid escalation in any circumstance. Your pride is not worth ending up dead for.
Facts. After living in Boston and LA for a few years I learned this shit real quick. Do not try to act tough in the street at night because you will get checked.
But don't act weak either. Relaxed confidence is the key.
I always having a funny conversation with my female friends whenever we’ve been out for drinks and I say I’m going to walk home. They always say “oh don’t go that way you’ll get stabbed/mugged/ass raped/stabbed again” I’m a 6’4” fairly well built guy who minds his own business generally, I’ve never once had anyone even give me a second look in any of these situations. If something did happen, I’d be completely useless, but people just don’t seem to want to mess with me. I’ve even had the same friends talk about how nice it is walking around with me because they can see the “tall privilege” in action and feel safer because I’m there. I only really noticed when it was pointed out to me that people act differently around people my size, but I’ll take it.
There are weight divisions for a reason. A bigger person will generally be stronger.
True but where I live i assume anyone could be carrying a firearm. Which very much doesn’t care about weight divisions.
“God created men, Sam colt made them equal”
Exactly. Anyone who's been in a dangerous situation will tell you this. I told a story here on reddit a little while back about how I helped these 2 girls get away from a crazy schitzo homeless guy. Someone kept asking me why I didn't shove the guy, or tell him to fuck off, or get in his face and be aggressive to him. Like, what's the point? The dude wont understand what I'm saying, and the goal is to get everyone safe.
As a young idiot, I once asked my husband, “If a guy touches me what would you do?” He said, “Probably nothing.” I was like, “Oh my gosh what? Not fight for me?!?” He said, “I would be sorry you were touched by someone without your consent but I cannot win against a gun, a knife or a group of guys so our best bet would be to leave the situation.” That’s when I realized I was in fact an absolute moron. If a man threatens my life my husband will do something. If my life is not in danger you deal with whatever it is to stay alive. Edit: my husband is 6’6”. Still will not get in confrontations with people. Because he’s intelligent.
As a fellow tall guy I’ve had my fair share of drunk bozos trying to act hard at the pub to get a rise out of me because I was the biggest guy in the room. We learn quickly to just not give them the satisfaction. We have nothing to prove to them so it’s not worth risking our health or safety, or the safety of those around us, to satisfy some little jumped up kids ego. Just remove yourself from the situation as gracefully as possible and carry on with your evening.
Let’s go! Good for you. Tall guys go through a lot of strange things in life. As a fellow dumbass woman who thought fighting meant being “manly”, I quickly learned being with my calm, kind, cool-headed husband, that fighting is stupid shit. Lol. “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” 😊
Agree with this. Knew a guy was built like a tank and huge. He got into an altercation not even his fault but the drunk guys thought it was him. Outside they hit him with a bottle and he nearly died and was in a coma and never fully recovered. It's really not worth it.
Actual Alpha vs Internet Guru Alpha
Reminds me of that awful video from Pennsylvania I think? of two neighbors getting into it over like shoveling or some shit, guy comes back and shoots both of his neighbors dead- all caught on camera. You never know how far someone’s willing to go.
I saw this episode of "Fear Thy Neighbor" They had been persistently antagonizing him for quite some time. I'm talking very aggressive bullying. They had been at him(a veteran I might add)for months. Not saying it was justified, but it was far from a spontaneous isolated argument over snow placement.
Thank you for this comment. The older man was "in my opinion" tortured by the couple across the street. I do not agree with the gunman's actions. I understand that he had reached his end. He killed the couple and then went home and killed himself. I thank you for your effort to extend information and understanding.
Would also like to add it wasnt just bullying they had threatened to burn his house down several times and the night of the shooting they were letting off bottle rockets in front of his house yelling
"What you going to do" is a man's death sentence
“What you going to do? Shoot me?” “Yes. 💀”
“What are you going to do? Stab me?” - Julius Caesar probably
If you’re uncomfortable somewhere, leave. Your brains pretty good at picking up on stuff and nudging you in ways you don’t consciously get at times.
Just cancelled all of my meetings for the week, thanks! Fourth of July weekend starts NOW
If you’re in a meeting and keep getting a fight or flight response :shrug: maybe a good time to go to the bathroom and play angry turds for a while.
I didn’t know it was possible but I am impressed and disappointed in myself simultaneously for “angry turds”
My wife’s grandparents had a weekend home in the mountains and I was playing my guitar in the backyard one morning because I’m an early riser and she is not. I suddenly had a feeling that I was in danger and I look up and walking up the road is a bear. I still have no idea how my brain could have possibly known before I saw or heard it.
The birds all suddenly going quiet is a signal we don't consciously notice but the primal part of the brain picks up on, real fast
Does this mean bears have never heard the sound of birds chirping 🤔
LOTS of potential things could have happened - a change in the sounds from underbrush wildlife (rabbits, squirrels, etc.), some sounds the bear made that didn't register with you consciously, your peripheral vision may have caught a glimpse of something (again not registering consciously), or even a bit of scent on the breeze that you don't specifically recognize, but some instinctive part of your brain recognizes as predator... Your brain is very good at keeping you safe, or at least trying to!
Went to a music festival last weekend. Went to check out the 2nd stage and right when we got there some dude was mad dogging me hard. Me and my friends shrugged it off and moved to another spot in the crowd. A few mins later caught a dude trying to pick pocket my phone. Looked and my friend and said time to go back to other stage. Vibes felt weird AF from the moment we got to that stage. Should have left after first interaction.
Keep your anger and rage in check.... You never know what's on the other end.
Trufe You might just want to lose your cool a bit and yell, but the other person may just be at that breaking point of rage.
The “fuck the consequences” phase of rage is the scariest for everyone involved.
Know your turf. Know your neighborhood well enough that if it was late at night and you got into trouble, you would know where to go for help. Deflect. I had a very large scary woman get in my face and start screaming “what are you looking at?” I just said “your earrings, those are so cute! I love the color “. This was completely unexpected, and it worked
Knew a guy who got mugged in a parking garage. He starting singing at the top of his lungs, the mugger turned around in his confusion, giving a window for escape.
Reminds me of marines tossing rubber duckies like flash bangs when breaching. Guys in the room were massively confused why there’s a rubber ducky all of a sudden
I’m stealing this for my next one-on-one with my manager.
“ON A DARK DESERT HIGHWAY COOL WIND IN MY HAIR!”
Disrupted the OODA loop!
For dudes when dudes yell this, the simplest is 'Oh, nothing, sorry man — just spacing out, it's been a long day. How's it going?' Don't be too apologetic or deferential, but don't be confrontational or smartass either. The goal is to be confident, like the implied threat is beneath your concern.
Oh that earring response is brilliant.
Other good ones if you are caught staring and someone confronts you are "Sorry for staring, but did you go to Polk Middle School in Boise in 1998 (or wherever/whenever lol), you look so familiar?" or "Are you related to Tim Jones? He and I go way back and you've just got to be his brother." Always deescalate, especially with a confrontational psycho.
I need a way to train my brain to respond this way and not just become a stuttering flustered fool
I wasn't in the worst area, but it wasn't the nicest. I was having to get something out of the back of my car and while I was bending into the back door these 3 big guys tweaked out on something crept up behind me and pretty much had me cornered so at best I could jump in my back seat but even then they would have been easily able to block me from shutting the door. Thankfully I apparently had a song the biggest guy loved playing and he started talking music with me and the two others just started looking really confused and uneasy and I just went along with it. Finally one of the other ones asked me if I had any spare money and the big guy just exploded on him saying never ask a friend of his for money and they all kinda scattered a bit since he was about to start kicking their asses then. Needless to say, I got the fuck out of there as fast as I could.
"Hey are you looking at my girl?!" "No... I was looking at you 😉"
For big men with tiny brain and big ego, this can backfire big time. You can say “oh sorry man she looks like a friend of mine. You have a beautiful girlfriend man. You guys look good together. Have a good day”
Walk with purpose. Look ahead and stride confidently. If you're looking around and walking timidly, you'll be seen as lost, possibly a tourist, an easy mark.
Did this while walking around Napoli last week. We were purposely getting lost so we could see the real Napoli but we walked like we knew where we were going at all times.
I got told that Napoli is actually now super safe. Covid completely annihilated tourism (obviously) but the mafia realised that they needed tourists back to make money. Apparently the mafia sent out blanket orders that ‘none fucks with tourists’ to keep and entice the tourists to come back and keep coming back. So now if you do steal/attack, do anything anti tourist, you have to answer to the mafia.
How nice of the mafia 🥰🥰
"Oh little Benicio, an Ahegao Frankenstein anime wallet? Was this worth your legs??"
Can...can you send me a link for that wallet? It's uh...it's for a friend
Yeah was actually the opposite of what people pre-warned us. Everyone was super friendly
Been like that for decades. I was in Napoli a good 20years ago. Absolutely no petty theft, tourist scamming etc. going on, mafia really looking out for the tourists there. Been to Rome the following year, complete opposite.
Yeah my partner had an attempted pickpocket on the escalator coming out of a station there. But it was so amateur we kinda just laughed. So so different to Paris or Barcelona where it’s so organised you don’t even realise it’s gone!
What nice mafia guys. Just a bunch of good fellas
Always pay attention to your surroundings. It doesn't have to be constant scanning, but be aware.
In the movie Spartan a Delta operator has to quickly teach the hostage he rescued to be aware of her surroundings: “In the forest there’s always a sound. In the desert there’s always a smell. And in the city there’s always a reflection.”
This quote is really cool! You do the reflections thing enough and it becomes second nature. Like an augmentation of your vision it's awesome.
I keep an eye on shop windows to see if anyone is following behind me, not to window shop. Also if it's dark enough, I keep an eye on my shadow when I go past a lightsource to see if someone elses shadow comes up close. I'll intentionally scuff my shoes in gravel because of how often I've heard "step when they step to cover your noise" given as sneaky advice. Someone following you will misstep or make a scuff you can hear that definitely didn't come from your shoe. There's all kinds of behaivior that I do that people think I'm weird for, but I also am still around to talk about it all.
Found Dwight Schrute’s account
Stay sober enough to stay aware.
When pulling up behind someone at a red light i always leave enough room in front of me if i need to quickly steer around and gtfo of there. Works for carjackings, runaway tractor trailers, meteors, diahrrea, etc
I used to put up fencing on the south side of Chicago. Very few people like to do any trades work on the south side for good reason. It sucks because there is a ton of work there. Anyway I learned real quick why no one pulls all the way up behind a car in the drive through at McDonald's. Everyone leaves a sizeable gap.
A good rule of thumb for this is if you stay far enough back to see where their rear wheels touch the road surface, you should have enough space to pull around them with full steering lock.
A dead giveaway that you are in a dangerous area: many young men are standing around seemingly doing nothing.
Also men riding bikes that are considerably too small for them
I think you'll find this is my unicycle.
Now that's gangsta
I, too, avoid the circus.
A grown man on a single speed bike at night is a bad area.
My meth heads had 10-speeds, must be fancy So-Cal
Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm ~~driving my automobile~~ riding my bicycle?
copied from another post on reddit: "I live in LA, and downtown LA isn’t exactly the best place at night. I was going to a dispensary late at night in 2015, in an area of downtown that’s not heavily lit, and very empty. No cars, no people, just a few run down buildings on Main Street. It was late, around 11 pm and the dispensary was just closing up. I came out, by myself, and started walking to my car. I was maybe 200 feet from my car, and saw these guys across the street in an a huddle. As I started walking closer to my car, I had this feeling they clearly weren’t up to any good. So I started walking a little faster to my car, and one of the dudes screams over, “why you walking so fast man?” And they started to walk towards me. Rather than answer and pause, I decided to start running to my car, and unlocked it and got in. As I was starting my car, they had run up to the back of my car and just as I drove off, one of them slashed the back of my bumper with a knife and they screamed “good thing you got those white boy instincts.” Sometimes it’s literally a matter of one second and making that crucial decision to not stop that saved my life."
Always a good reminder, there is no shame in an immediate sprint.
They probably wanted to chat with you about your car’s extended warranty.
Why are they standing around doing nothing?
Usually it’s waiting for drug sales, 90% of the time people just standing around in a sketchy area are selling drugs. 10% of the time they are looking for a victim
And 1% are looking for love.
Next on TLC!
this, don't give attention to some one waiting
Young men ages 16-26 are the most dangerous people in society, everywhere in the world. Especially if there’s a small group of them and a pack mentality compounds the machismo and insecurity.
No elders around to keep them in check, no matriarch to tell em they being fucking dipshits, it's loss of community+poverty unfortunately, but sometimes a lot kids even in the hood grow up with good influences, people watching out for them and it can make all the difference
On the flip side, as a friend told me years ago but I haven't been able to prove false: A dead giveaway that you're in a safe area is when there are white and Asian people walking and jogging outside.
I always say the barometer of a safe neighborhood is white women walking alone outside without a dog. You see that, you know you'll be ok.
If it seems wrong, it is wrong. You don't have to stop when someone random talks to you on the street. Don't gawk and look up; just keep moving to where you're going. Cross to the other side of the street if you don't like what you see ahead. Be wary of distraction: one person starts shouting at something, while their partner grabs your bag. There are two speeds on the street: move fast, or get out of the way. Wallets don't go in your back right pocket. Three-card monte is not a game. Optional: Don't walk down the street with your cans in. This might be generational, but I'm a native New Yorker and don't think it wise to not hear what's going on around you.
My boyfriend and I were getting off a city bus at a transit center. I told him that I needed to go to the restroom. We crossed the street to go to a busy gas station. He was walking on my left and suddenly, he switched over to my right very quickly. A young guy ran past us, jumped into a car and left. I asked my boyfriend why he switched sides. He told me that I was about to get jumped. I said, "Are you serious? We're out in broad daylight at a busy gas station near a busy intersection. How did you know he was about to jump me?". He said that he heard footsteps running behind us. I didn't hear them. My advice: Even if it's daytime and you're in a busy area, listen to what's going on behind you -- you never know. It was a couple of weeks before Christmas, and he and the driver probably pulled that scam all over town. Be careful out there.
I’ve seen people running around with noise cancelling headphones. Acting like they can’t get kidnapped
I was hiking in the woods the other week and came across a young lady with big headphones on. She was solo. Like, we have bears here. They're black bears, so they might just run off, but if you bump into Mama bear and her cubs... Some people just don't consider the dangers. Plus, who tf stays connected in the woods???
I had some electronic earmuffs for shooting and they actually enhanced my hearing and only cancelled out the extremely loud sounds like the gunshots. There was a spot I used to go to shoot and I could hear cars coming from a mile away . If I was a mechanic I could have probably diagnosed most of the cars by the engine noise. Also at the indoor range, it made talking to other people so much better.
ANC do often have a transparency mode though - helps filter out a bit of the background noise, but you can still hear a shuffle step coming up from behind you.
Yep. Sony makes wonderful headphones and I sometimes forget I'm even wearing them. The transparency mode is so nice
Recognize when a scam is being pulled. Any combo of 1-urgency, 2-stress, 3-intimidation, is a scam.
Always know where the exits are and have a plan if you have to get out in a hurry.
*agrees in panic disorder*
Everybody is trying to hustle you in Vegas. Everybody.
Ugh I wish I knew this when I went to Vegas. Some dudes in leather offered to take pictures with me and we got swindled out of $20. What a crock of shit. I’m still mad about it
Look like you belong where you are and have a purpose there.
I always hear that advice being thrown around but never really figured out how to apply it. What should be actively done to look like you "belong" there?
It pretty much means "Keep walking and looking forward" If you've got a map or phone out or if you keep looking lost or amused by your surroundings, then clearly you're either a tourist or visitor, and these people are the easiest to prey on. This is most evident in really congested cities like NYC. You can spot tourists from a mile away because they often have no idea where they're really going, whereas everyone else just walks and ignores everything around them.
greyman theory; put the minds to sleep. I feel like a good example is this: you at a football game and the home team is wearing white. what color should you wear? white don't try to zig when everybody zags just follow the herd.
Basically if you see people mugging, you start mugging too. Real knows real.
If someone is buying you a drink, that drink needs to go from the staff to you. Observe the chain of custody. Be suspicious of any drink that was walked across the room by a (non-staff) stranger.
Don’t trust the staff either, sometimes
Yep. Was at a bar with friends celebrating my birthday, and the bartender gave me a drink saying one of the patrons got it for me for my bday. Shortly after drinking it I completely black out, and the next thing I remember is my friend and her dad dragging me out of his car and onto their couch. Turns out that my stalker at the time was at the bar and colluded with the bartender to roofie me. Never accept a free drink from anyone, including the staff, unless you’ve watched them pick up the empty glass and pour it so that it’s within your line of sight at all times.
You never go to a secondary location.
My Mother started telling me at a VERY young age, “Scream, kick, fight for your life—whatever you do, do not go anywhere with anyone.”
So true. I tell my daughter to cuss them the fuck out too. Use every swear you've ever dream of, as loud as possibly. Bite, piss yourself, spit, anything and everything. Nothing is off limits. If they were gonna kill you, they'll kill you while running away or refusing to go with them regardless. At least my family would know what happened to me.
You kids get yourself a money clip, okay. You can get them at any haberdashery. You put a $50 bill in it, and when a guy flashes a blade you say "you want my money, go get it" then throw it, and run the other direction. Edit: [link](https://youtu.be/cdgfFMxgLfI?t=3m08s) to the John Mulaney bit this came from.
“You want my money huh?” *nervously throws the clip into his eye by accident*
This happened to me, sort of. Guy pulls a knife and I just threw my wallet at him and it hit his face by accident. Turns out he was so drunk, he stumbled and fell backwards. I saw he could barely get up so I grabbed my wallet back and walked briskly away.
He ain’t looking for money. He’s lookin’ for man booty.
Throw them off their their rhythm
Street smarts!
You should punch a hole through the taillight so people can see you little hand waving. STREET SMARTS
Can confirm. I waved back. It's nice to be nice.
It’s not IF you get kidnapped; it’s WHEN you get get kidnapped
Never Go With a Hippie to a Second Location
Always lock your doors. Especially if you are inside your house/car. Seems so simple yet so many people don’t regularly do it
My car automatically unlocks the doors when I put it in park. It's the default setting. I struggled through Google and the manual to figure out how to turn that off, because fuck that shit. The doors stay LOCKED when I'm in park, tyvm.
We live in what I thought was a very safe neighborhood, so never did this until we had a neighbor sneak in and rob us in the middle of the night. You can bet we started always locking our doors after that.
Reading these makes me want to give a big thank you, again, to the man that saw how worried I was that day in line at the atm and not only didn't leave me with that weirdo that kept staring and making gross comments, but *stood between us*, letting me get into my car first and leave, making the man wait. I was so scared. I had to make that deposit and it was the only bank branch around. You treated me like I was your sister and if you had walked off I *know* I'd have been in trouble. I hope you're somewhere loved, well-fed, happy, and I hope you get everything you want for Christmas ♡
Avoid discussing travel plans with strangers.
And for the love of God don't post about it on social media to let the whole world know your place is ripe for the picking. Most crimes are committed by people in the same general area, too. Routine activity theory. Oh, and a "beware of dog" sign is 10× more effective than all the "owner is armed/house protected by Smith and Wesson" flexing you can fit on a fence.
We had the best dog in the world, and we all figured he was the worst guard dog. Never ever looked up when we rolled into the driveway, wouldn’t get out of his dog house, super chill. We had long time friends feed him when we were gone, people he had known since he was a puppy. Would not let them through the 6’ gate at all. Jumping and snarling at them. Okay, maybe he was also the best guard dog too. They just threw his food over the gate and left. RIP Drake, you were the best boy.
If you are traveling and someone gives you a free bracelet, necklace, piece of art etc, don't take it. Once you do, a bunch of the persons friends will show up and hound you for money.
If you ever see a gun at a party, leave. If anyone is playing with fire at a party, leave. If you see a needle, leave.
In this thread: people deliberately misunderstanding you so they can call you wrong.
The gun is always loaded and the horse always kicks
Don’t let anyone distract you while another approaches.
Be polite; it is so simple and yet seriously overlooked, got myself out of some dangerous situations just by being polite. Think; don't react, just think about what you are going to do next, reacting without thinking means you have to suffer consequences later down the line. listen to your body, your feelings, they are normally telling you something for a reason. Better to be Wrong than dead. It's difficult to give much as most are learned through experience to know what to look for Edit: I need to readjust my advice on being polite; there are times when being polite is a no go especially (as it wasn't in my mind at the time) women. If someone is being forceful, rude, going to take offense, are a lot stronger or intimidating than you or you feel unsafe (listen to your body and feelings) just dip, don't interact, don't give them ammunition, just walk on, be aware of what's going on around and behind you, listen to their footsteps and voice, are they getting louder or closer. Don't directly look behind you but get in a position where you can use your peripheral vision. It is absolutely NOT cowardice to run. Even our smart hood gangsters dip and run. Use your own survival instincts, be aware of your feelings, think: you really need to use your own common sense and learn how to be safe. My examples are general and like I said before a lot is down to experience
I feel like this one applies to certain situations and people. As a woman I’ve had to learn to not be polite. Women are taught to go along and not cause trouble, but when some creep starts talking to me like he knows me I’m not afraid to be rude. I’ll make a scene, I’ll make him uncomfortable and make sure I’m safe over making sure I’m being polite. Especially if I’m in a crowded area. So, while being polite is correct to a degree, you cannot always be polite as a woman. If it feels wrong, get the fuck out and don’t worry about hurt feelings.
I had an incident just last week where I was leaving a night out trying to get an Uber and one guy on the periphery of the crowd I was with kept pestering me for my address "so I can place it on my mental grid" and wouldn't take " Who the fuck are you? Absolutely not, I am NOT telling you my address" for an answer. I started making a scene, shouting very loudly around the street "HEY CAN SOMEONE HANG WITH ME UNTIL MY UBER COMES, THIS WEIRDO KEEPS PESTERING ME FOR MY ADDRESS AND I'M WORRIED HE'LL TRY TO GET IN". He got angry and said that I was being very rude, he was only trying to be friendly and I shouldn't call him weird, but as the group gathered round he changed to spluttering out that he was only asking because he liked to make mental maps, then praising me for being concerned about my personal safety, all while insisting that it wasn't weird at all to be asking for the address of someone he'd never met or spoken to. The public humiliation totally worked, though, and he walked away with his tail between his legs. It took about 25 minutes to get an Uber and I spent that chatting to a nice woman who stayed with me instead of being creeped on by some fucking weirdo. I know plenty of women who wouldn't dream of making a scene like that and would have endured the creepiness but I'm too long in the tooth for that shite, and I was more furious than uncomfortable.
Politeness can get you out of a lot of sticky situations, can stop a fight from breaking out, can calm a business owner or employee down if you accidentally did something wrong, waiters will be way nicer to you and might actually give you complimentary stuff
Also (maybe, on a long shot) humor or just doing the ridiculous. I once had a gun stuck in my face by an older guy I sort of knew in my college dorm with a "gimme your money." I told him that's not real. He was like "yeah it is." I was like "Naw. I don't believe you." This went on for a little until he had me hold it to prove it was real. Lol. Funny little moment when I'm holding the gun and I look at him. All of the sudden we both realize what he did and I could see a little fear in his eyes. I was like- "Yuuup, this is real. You better take it back before I do something dumb." Gave the dude the gun back and walked away. I think we were both a little confused and I used that moment to keep walking the way I had been when he first stuck it in my face. Heard later on that a bunch of people in my dorm actually got jacked, I'm fairly sure with the same gun getting handed off between different people. To be fair, these weren't desperate or hardened criminals. Just dumb college kids who maybe had a little background in that world. What I did wasn't a tactic or anything- just what actually happened without thinking about the situation. DON'T TRY THIS THINKING IT WILL WORK. I do wonder if it was actually loaded. Lol. I will never forget the look on the guy's face when we both realized that somehow I was holding the gun, though.
Walk with purpose even if you have no idea where you are or what you're doing. Most people won't fuck with someone who looks like they have somewhere to be. Running away is better than fighting. It's better to live as "a fool who runs" than to die by underestimating someone's fighting strength or whether or not they're armed. If people look at you like you're out of place, you're out of place. That's your sign to leave and you should do so immediately. That sketchy bodega with bars on the window and bulletproof glass is the safest place around and the person behind the counter is definitely armed. If you're ever being followed on foot and can't make it to another safe place, go there to get help. Blend in with the crowd. Wear a dark-colored shirt and jeans when you're headed somewhere questionable, you'll be able to disappear into crowds and not be an easy target. Don't wear hats or bright-colored shirts where someone can follow you through a crowd easily. Trust your gut -- JDFR: Just Don't Feel Right. If something just don't feel right, it's not right.
The Bodega thing is something I hadn’t thought about before. But it makes sense. In a sketchy area, the place that looks like it has been robbed before is probably a safer place than the shop that’s suspiciously open and accessible to the public.
Also never forget the power of pocket sand and pepper spray.
Shshah!
Don’t let random people use your phone to make a quick call. They will take it and run.
And don't take your wallet out for the wallet inspector, he is rarely genuine.
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When at a club, always know where all the exits are. My friends used to laugh at me for doing that, until one night there was a shooting at the club. While everyone made a mad dash for the main entrance, I grabbed her hand and ran in the opposite direction. We missed the mad crush at the door and made it out back fine. They never laughed again about me looking around.
Station nightclub fire. 15 minutes from ignition to flat on the ground.
If mama says don't go there, she's usually right.
Mind your business.
My brother the ER doctor noted that "minding their own business" is what most GSW victims claimed they were doing at the time of being shot.
In Memphis they were always coming home from church or going to their grandma’s house (at 2 am), when either “these two dudes” or “this one bitch” just came out of nowhere and attacked them. If the cops could just catch those two dudes and that one bitch, crime would plummet.
Always be polite to cops, bouncers and anyone who takes your food where you cant see it
OMG THIS! First of all I could NEVER for the life of me understand why ANYONE would treat a food service worker badly. If you only knew the amount of things one could do to your food just because you make them feel bad. I could never be impolite to ANY police officer ever even provoked..the odds are never in your favor if that person is a dick and if that person is cool you could potentially made a connection that you could use later. I always compliment the bouncer, “you must get all the ladies huh,” etc these people have the power to alter your night in a terrible way./be smart
If you’re in a large parking lot or structure, pay attention for anyone standing around or walking aimlessly. Take special note if anyone changes direction and starts walking directly towards you - it’s often an encounter best avoided. Robbery is a fringe crime. It's something that occurs on the fringes of crowds. The robber needs the crowd to supply his victim, but he can't get too close to the same. Too far away from the crowd and there's nobody to rob. Too close, and he can't do it safely. Criminals lurk on the fringes. Where there're light and noise, there're crowds; if you avoid the fringe, your chances of getting robbed decrease markedly.
If you suspect someone is following you, make three right turns. If they follow you through all the turns, calmly drive to the nearest police station, and notify the police.
If you suspect someone is following you, make four right turns. Now you’re following them, checkmate.
Checkmate roundabout**ists.**
If you suspect someone is following you, enter a roundabout and keep going around. If they keep going around too, they are following you.
Look both ways before you cross the street
Even in a one-way street
Never play pool for money against someone named after a city.
If you're walking somewhere eerie and happen to make eyecontact with a baddie, just keep going and break eyecontact without any change in facial expression. Like stated before: you are there deliberately and they are none of your business. You are not validating them, and you are less likely to be seen as prey. If this may fail, sprint thou.
Trust your instincts, be aware of surroundings, and stay observant.
don’t pull cash out in public
Learn to parallel park because streets be tight sometimes
If somebody keeps bugging you in public, your instinct to get away is wrong. When you ask for help from a shopkeeper they'll protect you and solicit the help of other shopkeepers, who recognize the troublemakers. I had a grocery store owner tell me to go sit at a nearby restaurant. I had a drink and watched my antagonizer give up on me and target/follow somebody else. I stayed ten minutes more then bought food from the grocer before continuing on my way. This is "when you're in trouble, ask a mother for help" but for adults. In the 2nd and 3rd world countries that I've been to the shopkeepers are fiercely proud of their hold on the neighborhood, and their language skills are extraordinary.
If someone steps out of someplace where you couldn't see them in front of you, and blocks you, the one who is going to attack you is behind you already behind you.
When walking towards someone, signal with your eyes which direction you are going to pass them. You will never do the awkward ‘walk into each other’ again.
“Hey my man” never has to be responded to, or anyone asking you for nonsense or unnecessary small talk, don’t even give them the time of day Have your hands free, had a cup of coffee in each hand one morning in Oakland and had a crackhead looking at me like bait. Have good footwear on so you can move, dude wearing flip flops is easy target Move and stride with a sense of purpose, strong survive Walk where you can be seen by others, even it is not the most direct path, especially at night, stay under lights
Situation awareness
If you must walk through a bad area, do so with your head held high, your fists clenched and looking like your begging someone to knock the chip off your shoulder. Friend of mine lived in an area with lots of robberies and muggings, and even though he's not big, he did everything stated above and never had an issue with anyone. If you look like you're aware of your surroundings and are ready to take on anyone who gives you hassle, you stand a good chance of being left alone.
I agree but would highly suggest not making eye contact. That is a big trigger for a lot of people.
Always stare directly in the direction you are walking, don't change your focus even if someone enters your eyeline, just keep moving along.
Like that guy in the video of bitter sweet symphony?
I think that depends on where you're at. Where I'm at it's best to look people in the eyes, throw a nod, and keep moving. If you don't they'll think you're scared or aren't paying attention.
Absolutely, I get cultural/geolocation differences, but I always see people saying avoid eye contact because it's a sign of aggression and don't get it. Prolonged eye contact is a sign of aggression sure, but refusing eye contact is a sign of victimhood everywhere I've ever lived.
Dont be a dick
Use reflection in windows to check your surroundin
Always look like you know where you go If you feel danger its probablly dangerous When you travel abroad and someone offers you a bracelet or show you a magic trick or wqnt to help you carry your lagguage or offer to take you to massage place they tryna rob you/ pickpocket you
If you grow up in Venice, you've got canal smarts.
If an old lady comes up to you and tries to give you a flower (especially in London), don't take it - it's a way of labelling you as a mark for pickpockets (edit - and professional beggars) further down the street.
Stop looking at your damned phone when you are walking to your car in a parking lot. Look around, everywhere, especially at night. Head down, looking at your phone says easy prey. Looking up, sweeping the area visually says not so easy prey.
I know this one from experience. Walking in a bad neighborhood in Kensington. Walking past a dude in the middle of the day on the sidewalk. He said “yo you dropped your pocket” and pointed at my feet. When I looked down, i caught a uppercut and got laid out, and my pockets run. Got up maybe a min later like what the f. Didn’t have much on me at the time. I didn’t even have a cell phone. Got to the house I was going to, called cops, called bank to stop my card that maybe had like $200 on it. Of course nothing ever happened. But from then on if someone in a shit neighborhood try’s to distract my attention from them within that zone I just stare em right in the eye and keep waking. Works.
Don’t carry an unloaded gun.
And train with the gun you carry. It's no good if you don't know how to use it.
•Don’t talk about where you are going on the underground (subway/metro/trams). People listen and follow. •If you are planning on travelling in places like Paris/London/New York/Tokyo/Hong Kong blend in, pack plain and simple colours. You can be spotted way in a crowd and people love to take advantage of tourists if you are wearing bright colours. •If you are planning on travelling to a public space, don’t bring a normal back pack. Being a bag with pockets that face you or a purse or side bag were you have more vision if someone is gonna steal from you.
Tokyo... really? I'd be more careful at Disneyland.
I was going to say that. I’ve lived in Tokyo for years. Never seen a safer city in my life. Rules are simpler: hands visible on public transport, be careful in Kabukicho, don’t talk to touts and don’t follow anyone to a bar.
Learn the layout of any new city you're in.
Take out the ear buds , stay off your phone, and keep your head on a swivel.
If a cop says he just wants to ask you a couple questions, he already thinks you did it and he's trying to trick you. Ask if you're under arrest. If no, ask if you're free to go, if no, say you want your lawyer and don't say another word.
Carry an alka seltzer tablet to chew and it will make it look like you are foaming at the mouth to give the appearance that you have rabies
Never fight someone who has less to lose than you.
Lock your doors immediately upon entering your car.
Don't pay for drugs before you get them.
Gave a sketchy guy in Hawaii $10 for a gram of bud. We walked to an alley where he told me to wait and he'd be back with the stuff in five minutes. It's been fifteen years now, I think he may have tricked me.
You need to learn to spot the Scientologists and learn ways of getting away from them.
Learn how to look behind you without making it obvious: make a habit out of looking 90 degrees left or right and use your peripheral vision in order to check if someone is following you.