Fucking doorbell action over here. For those who need information -- simply pressing it briefly is not effective. Stroke it, lick it, suck on it (not too hard and to theĀ person's levelĀ of comfort).
Back in highschool, one kid said "if you cum in a girl, you can just squeeze her and it'll come back out so she won't get pregnant" 15 year old me believed it for a short while too.
In fairness, there were a lot of idiots. This one hit bingo though. Ftr, I never believed him and thought it was absolutely stupid, but riding bare feels pretty fucking great. My daughter will be 29 next week...
My kids dad fully believed this shit. When I got the DNA test he thought it was an absolute miracle and he told everybody how the doctor was wrong and he should sue because they said Mountain Dew kills your sperm and now he has a kid.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yobai
Night crawling was a thing in Japan before the 1860s. Single guys would sneak in and ask post pubescent women for consent and sneak out. House rules varied by village
In Bavaria and Austria they had the tradition called "Fensterln" (roughly translates to something like "to window"; also that is an L between r and n) where men would secretly climb up to the window of their sweetheart at night with a ladder and proclaim their love. Traditionally there was no sex involved in this, though, as generally all daughters of a family were sleeping in one bed lol.
When I lost my virginity 16 year old me lit every candle I could find so it would be more romantic. It was 3pm. Also each one smelled different so it was like fucking in a yankee candle dumpster fire.
EDIT: Since this blew up.... There's more! I put rose petals on the bed. Yeah... those stain by the way. Ruined those white sheets. Also, just to really set the mood, the music I put on was... you guessed it... tribal drumming. Not tribal techno or drum and bass but ACTUAL tribal drumming. My high school sweetheart and I are still friends (at 45) and laugh about it.
When I had my girlfriend over at the same age I thought spraying my bed down with a hefty amount of Ralph Lauren Polo cologne would be the key to creating a romantic, masculine environment. Instead we spent the rest of our date far away from my bedroom.
I remember running into grown ass adults (college and post college) that actually believed this shit, well at least the gals, the guys knew what they were doing.
One was just really upset when I explained how things work, she wound up pregnant within the year, so I don't think she entirely believed me.
"The first time always hurts, so get it over ASAP and then you can both enjoy sex!"
Yeah, I was not a smart 16 year old, and unsurprisingly, my first time was terrible. One second of penetration, followed by 15 minutes of consoling my poor girlfriend.
Don't feel bad, the number of smart 16 year olds that have a fairy tale wonderful first time could just about fill the back seat of a VW Beetle. Everybody's first time is awkward, sex only gets good when you both have confidence and know what you want.
yeah people take the information that it CAN hurt and spread the information that it hurts all the time. Your first time sucks, but it shouldn't be painful, also most teenage boys wouldn't know what foreplay was if it hit them with a truck and then backed up and hit them again
omg i heard this once as a kid and i still think about it. took me years to learn penetration bc of it. i was scared to break the hymen and id bleed š
my cousin convinced me at a very young age that if you have a line on your stomach (i guess belly roll line??), that means that youāre pregnant. i was a chunky child and terrified for the longest time, trying to hide that i was *clearly* pregnant. š
I was once going down on a girl and doing exactly this. She then reached down and rubbed her clit briefly. Instead of taking this for the very obvious hint that it was, I just thought it was hot and hoped she did it more so I could see it again! I wanted to die when I realized this later. I even thought about trying to track her down and apologize for the moron that I was.
> I even thought about trying to track her down and apologize for the moron that I was.
"Hi ma'am, I realize I've made a terrible mistake. I'm here to fix it"
Bill O'reilly wrote a stupid ass fiction book in the 90's called "Those Who Trespass" and there's a section in that book where he describes the protagonist going down on a woman. The description literally talks about him putting his tongue in and out of her pussy at various speeds and that's how he goes down on her.
Bill O'reilly inadvertently told the world that he doesn't know how to eat pussy.
I knew a guy who knocked up a girl in our sophomore year. He convinced her that semen was high in protein, and the developing baby needed as much protein as possible.
Him - "So girls who are pregnant should ingest semen for their babies"
Her: - "Oh ok, I'll remember that if I'm ever pregnant"
Him - "No, wait, I'm missing something here".
When I was a kid, my mom sprung the question on my little brother if he knew what sex was because he kept making comments that could be related to sex (I donāt remember what the comment was).
He was probably about 10 or 11 then and he piped up and said āof course I know what sex is. You stick your balls in the girls private parts and your finger up their butt!ā
š¤Øš¤£
I had a friend that was going to try that on his wife. He said she asked what he was doing, and wasn't impressed with his plan. Oh it wasn't he believed you were supposed to, it was he wanted to see what would happen.
In my church youth group all the girls said if you just did it in the butt you stayed a virgin. So ALL of them had done anal at some point or another. Some more frequently than others.
A former friend of mine from Dubai was a strictly-observant Muslim, and wasn't married to her boyfriend, so was still a virgin.
She'd also been having anal sex since she was 16.
All this technical virginity stuff is so stupid. Like, if God is supposed to be omniscient, how do you reckon you, a squishy-brained bag of meat, came up with a loophole that'll fool him??
I worked with a girl that was in her twenties, and she got the morning after pill on her way to work, two boxes actually, because her boyfriend fingered her. I remember being so confused as she explained "because you never know!". Noooo, it doesn't work that way...
I mean...maaaayyyyyy be it's theoretically possible if he beat off immediately beforehand (lol)
But I doubt that's ever happened bc he'd have to be like purposely cumming onto his fingertips and then fingering her internally immediately after that
I was 18 and a bus boy. Literally knew zero about women. I told the sous chef who was mid 30's at the time about one of my earliest sexual experiences. The woman who I slept with was a heavy "creamer", but I had no clue about this back then. And Idk if he told me this because he was literally just fucking with me, was being a hater, or he'd never experienced it himself. But when I asked him about the mysterious "cream" he started cracking up and said "Dude, that's left over cum from the guy she fucked before. Probably a few hours before." I was crushed and totally believed him. Ruined my confidence for at least a couple of years.
Wherever you are Sunshine, the sous chef, figgidy f\*\*k you man. Lol.
I might have dated you sous chef. Or at least I sincerely hope there are not two idiots like that out there.
A guy I was seeing dumped me because he hadn't cum yet and was using a condom anyway, but there was some whiteish liquid. He was completely convinced that it was residue from someone else. This man was around 30 btw.
Sadly, I've heard a lot of stories of men who don't really know much about feminine fluids or discharge and seem to not want to know anything about it. I know grown men who are considering getting married that still go, "Ew, gross, don't talk about that stuff!" if a woman mentions her period. Not even in any detail, just mentions that it exists.
I do not understand these men. If you want to get with women, you should understand women, right?
In the early aughts when I was 18, I used to get my sex tips from Cosmopolitan magazine, and tried everything on my first boyfriend. Some of it was good advice, a lot of it was bad or useless. My boyfriend at the time was just happy to be getting laid, so he let me try all this stuff on him that I read in Cosmo every month.
One night, after reading Cosmo, I had him hang his head and shoulders off the bed during a blowjob so all the blood would rush to his head, and when he was about to climax, I shoved my pinky finger into his butthole. Back then Cosmo didnāt really talk about asking for consent. So, the pinky was a surprise. It also didnāt tell me thereās an orgasm amplification button in guysā buttholes, it just said to shove my pinky in there. Well, it surprised my poor boyfriend so much that he moved his butthole away, causing him to slide off the bed (since he was part way off already), with his head and shoulders on the floor, legs and butt in the air against the bed, and he ejaculated on his forehead.
Iām convinced writers at Cosmo just made stuff up or purposely kept advice vague so they could imagine the weird stuff readers would do to their boyfriends and husbands, and have a laugh.
Young people nowadays know how to use the internet to gain valuable information (back then it was all chat rooms and Trogdor the Burnanator), so hopefully theyāre getting better sex advice than Cosmo had to offer back then.
It is because of Cosmo that I would give head with ice in my mouth for years. I still don't know if any guy actually liked it or if they were just happy to be getting blowed that they weren't going to complain.
To the young men I fucked in my early 20s, you guys are champs!
As the proud owner of a penis, I can confirm your theory.
We will put up with a surprising amount of discomfort to keep our dick in your mouth.
Your former partners are grateful and undoubtedly still telling friends about that icecube blowie they got.
"Proud owner of a penis"
Buddy in college found a coupon for 250 free business cards and all he had to do was pay a few dollars in shipping. He had business cards made of some generic fall meadow scene with "Derek Lastname, Penis owner and operator." With a stupid #justgirlythings style slogan at the bottom that I cannot remember right now.
I'm not saying the cards were successful. But they were an EXCELLENT bit to go with his general personality. It definitely worked FOR HIM.
That blue balls is life threatening so he can't ever have them or he could potentially die. It's backs all up in there and somehow can backflow into your system and kill you hahahahha I didn't know it was a lie until my husband told me. Every single guy except him has played into this
Lol, I do remember it being described as both very important and something men miss all the time, and I was confused about how it must be hidden. Meanwhile, it's literally just a blatant "on" button conveniently placed right on the front.
If it's the girls first time, nothing can happen - you don't have to wear protection.
I heard this advice in a movie I saw. "Fortunately" the girl got pregnant, so the doctor proved her boyfriend wrong.
Late for them, early for me š
I donāt think anyone told me this, but when I was a little kid I thought the that sperms were as big as tadpoles and burned like hell as they swam out of you. I imagined sex to be this shameful, excruciating ritual undertaken by married couples in order to have children
That sex is a holy event that only happens once or twice in your life, it goes on for five hours, and itās a religious experience that even nirvana canāt touch
Safe to say, I had some pretty unrealistic expectations
Just for anyone who is wondering: don't use soap. If you are really up the creek without a paddle, you can use regular conditioner, but do not resort to shampoo, soap, or anything that bubbles or foams.
You're supposed to work it up from a finger to a fist. My first GF stopped me at two and I thought I had failed.
Sorry Susie, I was just following Tool's advice.
Back in 6th grade, a friend of mine told me condoms were tablets that were supposed to be chewed and then it'd just burst open inside your mouth. Basically he thought oral sex could get you pregnant and by oral sex he meant kissing.
Then in 7th grade he told me that when girls blow someone and swallow their load, the load gets stored in the breasts and becomes milk for the new born. Thank god we were given sex ed classes after that.
Unfortunately, HPV is nigh inevitable. Though I would recommend everyone, so men included, to get the vaccine. It's incredibly effective in preventing cervical cancer, but also other cancers, like penile cancer and a certain throat cancer IIRC.
EDIT: apparently the list is:
Women:
- Cervix
- Vulva
- Vagina
Men:
- Penis
Everyone:
- Oral
- Anus
Eh. HPV is so prevalent that health organizations consider anyone who is sexually active as likely to be infected; IIRC, something like 90% of sexually active people of college age will contract it, the vast majority never having any symptoms.
What people should do is get the vaccine. When I was younger only women could; but these days, both sexes can.Ā
And men can be tested for it, but again, it's just assumed people have it, and men would usually get tested usually if they show symptoms like genital warts, which happens in less than 1% of cases.
So my first time was with another girl and we would fuck like a lot for about a year or so, and I thought it was really normal that she always came and I never did.
Literally thought I wasn't able to do it until I slept with a different girl who told me "maybe you don't cum because you stop when it gets overstimulating"
So... yeah.
Edit: I did not think this would resonate with people lol
That the condom wouldn't fit or that he was 'allergic'.
Yes, I know some people have allergies to latex. But guess what, a guy lied. I asked what the allergy was and his answer was shit.
That women don't orgasm. My horrible football coach taught health class focused on the fact that sex is only penetration and its over when the guy cums. No mention of a female orgasm whatsoever. Thank God for my first girlfriend. She was like an instructional DVD. She knew exactly what made her cum and told me to do X for this outcome. Outwardly I was like yeah totally let's get you a shakin! Inwardly I was like "YOU FUCKIN CUM?! WHAT IS THIS?!"
When I was a kid there was no Internet. Biology books led me to firmly believe that sex was just about slipping it in and waiting around. Probably have a little chat, and finish up... somehow
That the satisfaction of a man is all that matters. Women cannot be satisfied outside of the satisfaction that comes only from pleasing a man. The fact that I *did* believe this š„²š¤¢š¤®
I dated a girl who believe her hair would fall out if she got cum in it.
I also worked with a dude who said his girlfriend lost her teeth because she gave head so often. Iām sure the meth had nothing to do with it.
Meth. Meth makes people want to fuck. And it works stupidly well.
At first.
Fast forward to a few months later after your life is wrecked and youāre hopelessly addicted just to feel normal.
*Thats* when suddenly you canāt finish and your dick will not stay hard.
Source: In recovery from meth addiction. Seven years clean. Shit is fucked up yo.
"You don't need to use protection if you pull out in time." This is highly unreliable and does not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) either.
LOL, when my buddy was young his sister set him up with a girl and told him to do the alphabet thing. What she failed to mention was that you don't actually *say* the alphabet while you're doing it. He never hear from that girl again.
I got pregnant at 14 because my friends told me you can't get pregnant if you urinate after sex. I fully believed that. That's where abstinence only education leaves you.
Edit: The doctor had to explain to me what a uterus is and explain sex ans anatomy after I was already pregnant and terrified because nobody armed me with the knowledge to make good decisions.
there is a horrible and true book I read about girls in the 50's that "went away" when they got pregnant. so many of them had no idea what sex even was or how babies were made. one of the more scary stories was a girl who was sent to one of those horrible places, and when she was in early labor, she asked the nurse how the baby comes out.
"Same way it went in!"
Which sadly did not explain shit to her.
That women were the ones who came, and men had to use their penis (like suction cups) to remove the cum. If the men left the cum inside the women, she would be pregnant. Ig I was right in a sense.
The harder and faster you press that bump (clit) at the top of the vagina, the more they love it! Sorry, my poor ex girlfriend.
Honestly a lot of men still believe this š¤¦ they must know that its ducking painful smh
Fucking doorbell action over here. For those who need information -- simply pressing it briefly is not effective. Stroke it, lick it, suck on it (not too hard and to theĀ person's levelĀ of comfort).
Back in highschool, one kid said "if you cum in a girl, you can just squeeze her and it'll come back out so she won't get pregnant" 15 year old me believed it for a short while too.
The old toothpaste tube method. Works every time! š
9 out of 10 dentists recommend this one trick
The 10th is paying alimony and refuses to comment.
I figured a blow job is when you quite literally blow air on the penis. Because that's what it's called.
Right? Shouldn't it be called a "suck job"?
"It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow"
Drinking Mountain Dew kills your sperm. As a teenage boy who really didn't want a surprise pregnancy, I drank a lot of mountain dew just to be safe
Omg I went out with a guy who believed this. He couldn't believe I got pregnant.
You had unprotected sex with an idiot
In fairness, there were a lot of idiots. This one hit bingo though. Ftr, I never believed him and thought it was absolutely stupid, but riding bare feels pretty fucking great. My daughter will be 29 next week...
>but riding bare feels pretty fucking great. Mooooooom!
Honestly this turned out pretty wholesome. Happy birthday to your daughter and congrats to all the crazy work you must have endured for her!
> but riding bare feels pretty fucking great so wholesome!
*holesome
My kids dad fully believed this shit. When I got the DNA test he thought it was an absolute miracle and he told everybody how the doctor was wrong and he should sue because they said Mountain Dew kills your sperm and now he has a kid.
I mean, he probably should sue if thatās what the doctor was telling him..
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yobai Night crawling was a thing in Japan before the 1860s. Single guys would sneak in and ask post pubescent women for consent and sneak out. House rules varied by village
In Bavaria and Austria they had the tradition called "Fensterln" (roughly translates to something like "to window"; also that is an L between r and n) where men would secretly climb up to the window of their sweetheart at night with a ladder and proclaim their love. Traditionally there was no sex involved in this, though, as generally all daughters of a family were sleeping in one bed lol.
āExfiltration successful, I win this round of sex!ā
i love escaping through the air vent then walking away lighting a cigarette as her house explodes and cage the elephant starts to play
"Another satisfied woman" *sheds a single tear*
Tbh when I was young and was having one night stands I would always leave once they fell asleep, I never stayed until the next day. No idea why, just hated the idea of being sober and waking up next to them. The only exception to that was my now fiancƩ.
That's how you know she's the one
When I lost my virginity 16 year old me lit every candle I could find so it would be more romantic. It was 3pm. Also each one smelled different so it was like fucking in a yankee candle dumpster fire. EDIT: Since this blew up.... There's more! I put rose petals on the bed. Yeah... those stain by the way. Ruined those white sheets. Also, just to really set the mood, the music I put on was... you guessed it... tribal drumming. Not tribal techno or drum and bass but ACTUAL tribal drumming. My high school sweetheart and I are still friends (at 45) and laugh about it.
> Yankee candle dumpster fire It is 1:06 am and I think I read the best four-word combination Iāll ever read today
When I had my girlfriend over at the same age I thought spraying my bed down with a hefty amount of Ralph Lauren Polo cologne would be the key to creating a romantic, masculine environment. Instead we spent the rest of our date far away from my bedroom.
That if she's on top you can't get her pregnant.
Cuz of gravity
Makes sense and Iām 30.
How heavy is your jizz god damn
They call him Mr. Frozen Yogurt
ice ice baby
A girl in my high school friend group believed this and that you canāt get pregnant during a full moon. She now has 5 kids by 5 dudes.
Damn she really had to test the hypothesis
Sample size is important
Another victim of a gibbous moon...
I remember running into grown ass adults (college and post college) that actually believed this shit, well at least the gals, the guys knew what they were doing. One was just really upset when I explained how things work, she wound up pregnant within the year, so I don't think she entirely believed me.
Kudos to her, she did her own research, at least.
n = 1
Literally fucked around and found out.
I was told this by a girl who was over 20. She told me while I was sitting next to my gf who was pregnant exactly due to that position....
"The first time always hurts, so get it over ASAP and then you can both enjoy sex!" Yeah, I was not a smart 16 year old, and unsurprisingly, my first time was terrible. One second of penetration, followed by 15 minutes of consoling my poor girlfriend.
Don't feel bad, the number of smart 16 year olds that have a fairy tale wonderful first time could just about fill the back seat of a VW Beetle. Everybody's first time is awkward, sex only gets good when you both have confidence and know what you want.
Dammit, my first time was in the BACKSEAT of a 71 Beetle.
yeah people take the information that it CAN hurt and spread the information that it hurts all the time. Your first time sucks, but it shouldn't be painful, also most teenage boys wouldn't know what foreplay was if it hit them with a truck and then backed up and hit them again
omg i heard this once as a kid and i still think about it. took me years to learn penetration bc of it. i was scared to break the hymen and id bleed š
I don't remember where I heard it, but as a teenager I believed squeezing a girl's boobs would increase her risk of breast cancer.
If their boobs never get squeezed theyre less likely to be diagnosed with it
A perfect example of correlation not equaling causation.
Vaccinated children are more likely to live long enough to be diagnosed with Autism.
Every single person who confuses *correlation* and *causation* ends up dying.
I definitely heard this as a kid in the 90s. Also heard the same thing about sleeping with a bra on.
I also vaguely remember hearing this when at primary school...
Now that you mention it I remember being taught this around the age my peers were starting to get boobs. Those bastards lied to us!
my cousin convinced me at a very young age that if you have a line on your stomach (i guess belly roll line??), that means that youāre pregnant. i was a chunky child and terrified for the longest time, trying to hide that i was *clearly* pregnant. š
Try to get the tongue as far in as possible when going down on her. The rest is just there for show
I was once going down on a girl and doing exactly this. She then reached down and rubbed her clit briefly. Instead of taking this for the very obvious hint that it was, I just thought it was hot and hoped she did it more so I could see it again! I wanted to die when I realized this later. I even thought about trying to track her down and apologize for the moron that I was.
> I even thought about trying to track her down and apologize for the moron that I was. "Hi ma'am, I realize I've made a terrible mistake. I'm here to fix it"
Bill O'reilly wrote a stupid ass fiction book in the 90's called "Those Who Trespass" and there's a section in that book where he describes the protagonist going down on a woman. The description literally talks about him putting his tongue in and out of her pussy at various speeds and that's how he goes down on her. Bill O'reilly inadvertently told the world that he doesn't know how to eat pussy.
I mean of course. Does he seem like the type of guy who would care about another persons pleasure?
A girl i went to in college thought she was helping cure her boyfriends kidney problem by sucking out the stones whenever she gave head.
I canāt believe I just read this sentence
The exact same thing ran through my mind!
Excuse me WHAT
I knew a guy who knocked up a girl in our sophomore year. He convinced her that semen was high in protein, and the developing baby needed as much protein as possible.
He should have come up with that one time earlier and maybe she wouldn't have gotten knocked up
Him - "So girls who are pregnant should ingest semen for their babies" Her: - "Oh ok, I'll remember that if I'm ever pregnant" Him - "No, wait, I'm missing something here".
Imagine nutting out a kidney stone, tho
What a terrible day to be able to read the English language
What tf did I just read?she believed WHAT!! didn't She ever wondered when she couldn't get any stones?
What a terrible day to read
That you're supposed to put the balls in too.
When I was a kid, my mom sprung the question on my little brother if he knew what sex was because he kept making comments that could be related to sex (I donāt remember what the comment was). He was probably about 10 or 11 then and he piped up and said āof course I know what sex is. You stick your balls in the girls private parts and your finger up their butt!ā š¤Øš¤£
That just sounds fun tho
Thatās a human screenshot.
You can't just tell us that and not giveus your moms reactionš
she died due to lack of oxygen š¤
BALLS DEEEEEEEEP!!!
I had a friend that was going to try that on his wife. He said she asked what he was doing, and wasn't impressed with his plan. Oh it wasn't he believed you were supposed to, it was he wanted to see what would happen.
The compression makes the sperm come out at a much higher rate.Ā Its how we got Usain Bolt.
Completed it mate
That the first time will be a transcendent, life-affirming experience that will transform you into a freer, more confident version of yourself
I used to unironically believe that lmao. The wake-up call was harsh.
the panic after my first time lmao > damn I donāt feel much differentā¦ *oh my fucking god is this just who I actually am???*
In my church youth group all the girls said if you just did it in the butt you stayed a virgin. So ALL of them had done anal at some point or another. Some more frequently than others.
THE LOOPHOLE!
The *poophole*
The poophole loophole.
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus~ The good Lord would want it that waay~~
A former friend of mine from Dubai was a strictly-observant Muslim, and wasn't married to her boyfriend, so was still a virgin. She'd also been having anal sex since she was 16. All this technical virginity stuff is so stupid. Like, if God is supposed to be omniscient, how do you reckon you, a squishy-brained bag of meat, came up with a loophole that'll fool him??
That's hilarious considering anal sex is also explicitly mentioned to be Haram. Also having an actual boyfriend would also be considered Haram.
The hell I got for saying it was still sex and still counted. I was the preacherās daughter, too! lol
Doing anal for Jesus!
my friend thought it's safer if you both are on birth control pills
Using two condoms at once is safer than one
I know someone in their 30s who still believes this.
Nah bro, you gotta double wrap it to desensitize so you donāt cum so early, girl from band camp taught me that
That's why I always wear two shoes per foot when I go hiking
So you dont cum??
So he doesn't cum early to be precise
Theyāre 99%. If you use two 198% chance of not getting someone pregnant.
That the Icy Hot sensation creates a more enjoyable orgasm for you and her. It's the secret to keep her coming back for more.
please, this sends shivers down my spine
one time when I was a teenager I thought it'd be fun to spank the monkey with icy hot it wasn't
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I worked with a girl that was in her twenties, and she got the morning after pill on her way to work, two boxes actually, because her boyfriend fingered her. I remember being so confused as she explained "because you never know!". Noooo, it doesn't work that way...
I mean...maaaayyyyyy be it's theoretically possible if he beat off immediately beforehand (lol) But I doubt that's ever happened bc he'd have to be like purposely cumming onto his fingertips and then fingering her internally immediately after that
I was 18 and a bus boy. Literally knew zero about women. I told the sous chef who was mid 30's at the time about one of my earliest sexual experiences. The woman who I slept with was a heavy "creamer", but I had no clue about this back then. And Idk if he told me this because he was literally just fucking with me, was being a hater, or he'd never experienced it himself. But when I asked him about the mysterious "cream" he started cracking up and said "Dude, that's left over cum from the guy she fucked before. Probably a few hours before." I was crushed and totally believed him. Ruined my confidence for at least a couple of years. Wherever you are Sunshine, the sous chef, figgidy f\*\*k you man. Lol.
I might have dated you sous chef. Or at least I sincerely hope there are not two idiots like that out there. A guy I was seeing dumped me because he hadn't cum yet and was using a condom anyway, but there was some whiteish liquid. He was completely convinced that it was residue from someone else. This man was around 30 btw.
Sadly, I've heard a lot of stories of men who don't really know much about feminine fluids or discharge and seem to not want to know anything about it. I know grown men who are considering getting married that still go, "Ew, gross, don't talk about that stuff!" if a woman mentions her period. Not even in any detail, just mentions that it exists. I do not understand these men. If you want to get with women, you should understand women, right?
In the early aughts when I was 18, I used to get my sex tips from Cosmopolitan magazine, and tried everything on my first boyfriend. Some of it was good advice, a lot of it was bad or useless. My boyfriend at the time was just happy to be getting laid, so he let me try all this stuff on him that I read in Cosmo every month. One night, after reading Cosmo, I had him hang his head and shoulders off the bed during a blowjob so all the blood would rush to his head, and when he was about to climax, I shoved my pinky finger into his butthole. Back then Cosmo didnāt really talk about asking for consent. So, the pinky was a surprise. It also didnāt tell me thereās an orgasm amplification button in guysā buttholes, it just said to shove my pinky in there. Well, it surprised my poor boyfriend so much that he moved his butthole away, causing him to slide off the bed (since he was part way off already), with his head and shoulders on the floor, legs and butt in the air against the bed, and he ejaculated on his forehead. Iām convinced writers at Cosmo just made stuff up or purposely kept advice vague so they could imagine the weird stuff readers would do to their boyfriends and husbands, and have a laugh. Young people nowadays know how to use the internet to gain valuable information (back then it was all chat rooms and Trogdor the Burnanator), so hopefully theyāre getting better sex advice than Cosmo had to offer back then.
It is because of Cosmo that I would give head with ice in my mouth for years. I still don't know if any guy actually liked it or if they were just happy to be getting blowed that they weren't going to complain. To the young men I fucked in my early 20s, you guys are champs!
As the proud owner of a penis, I can confirm your theory. We will put up with a surprising amount of discomfort to keep our dick in your mouth. Your former partners are grateful and undoubtedly still telling friends about that icecube blowie they got.
"Proud owner of a penis" Buddy in college found a coupon for 250 free business cards and all he had to do was pay a few dollars in shipping. He had business cards made of some generic fall meadow scene with "Derek Lastname, Penis owner and operator." With a stupid #justgirlythings style slogan at the bottom that I cannot remember right now. I'm not saying the cards were successful. But they were an EXCELLENT bit to go with his general personality. It definitely worked FOR HIM.
that particular cosmo tip went viral a few years ago on i donāt even remember what site and i think about it all the time
Cosmo, 30 years of hand job tips and tricks when all they had to say was "use your mouth". š š¤£
That if a girl doesnt bleed after sex, she's not a virgin.
From family: if a young girl is able to USE a tampon during her period, she isnāt a virgin.
Dudes in porn are average size
The *biggest* lie ever told.
That blue balls is life threatening so he can't ever have them or he could potentially die. It's backs all up in there and somehow can backflow into your system and kill you hahahahha I didn't know it was a lie until my husband told me. Every single guy except him has played into this
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There's a dose-response relationship, bb.Ā
The clitoris is a multidimensional Schrƶdinger existence than only sex gods could could discover through years of training.
Lol, I do remember it being described as both very important and something men miss all the time, and I was confused about how it must be hidden. Meanwhile, it's literally just a blatant "on" button conveniently placed right on the front.
At this point women should just bedazzle that shit with LEDs š
RGB Gaming clit
Yeah... I used to think of the clit as a small penis glans. That helped me relate.
A guy in my friend group literally asked us if the condom needs to go over the balls aswell. It's been 10 years and we still make fun of him.
I love friend groups like this. I am that guy, unfortunately, and my friend group is like this.
You go in as hard as possible as soon as possible, no foreplay, no nothing, just go on crazy chimp sex!
I think even chimps have more foreplay than that.Ā
That men and women always have an orgasm at the exact same time.
If it's the girls first time, nothing can happen - you don't have to wear protection. I heard this advice in a movie I saw. "Fortunately" the girl got pregnant, so the doctor proved her boyfriend wrong. Late for them, early for me š
I donāt think anyone told me this, but when I was a little kid I thought the that sperms were as big as tadpoles and burned like hell as they swam out of you. I imagined sex to be this shameful, excruciating ritual undertaken by married couples in order to have children
>I imagined sex to be this shameful, excruciating ritual undertaken by married couples in order to have children. Ah, I see you were raised Catholic
That sex is a holy event that only happens once or twice in your life, it goes on for five hours, and itās a religious experience that even nirvana canāt touch Safe to say, I had some pretty unrealistic expectations
Was your sex ed teacher Sting?
āUse soap as lube for anal sexā. Donāt ask.
Just for anyone who is wondering: don't use soap. If you are really up the creek without a paddle, you can use regular conditioner, but do not resort to shampoo, soap, or anything that bubbles or foams.
That you can use vaseline as lube
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Despite its name Ben Gay is a terrible lubricant for anal sex.
You're supposed to work it up from a finger to a fist. My first GF stopped me at two and I thought I had failed. Sorry Susie, I was just following Tool's advice.
Back in 6th grade, a friend of mine told me condoms were tablets that were supposed to be chewed and then it'd just burst open inside your mouth. Basically he thought oral sex could get you pregnant and by oral sex he meant kissing. Then in 7th grade he told me that when girls blow someone and swallow their load, the load gets stored in the breasts and becomes milk for the new born. Thank god we were given sex ed classes after that.
Btw he's a gynecologist now
"As long as he's clean, it shouldn't matter what he's done in the past" My friend learned the hard way that men can't be tested for HPVĀ
Unfortunately, HPV is nigh inevitable. Though I would recommend everyone, so men included, to get the vaccine. It's incredibly effective in preventing cervical cancer, but also other cancers, like penile cancer and a certain throat cancer IIRC. EDIT: apparently the list is: Women: - Cervix - Vulva - Vagina Men: - Penis Everyone: - Oral - Anus
Get the vaccine and vaccinate your children. I didnāt get it as a child and had cervical cancer at 26
Eh. HPV is so prevalent that health organizations consider anyone who is sexually active as likely to be infected; IIRC, something like 90% of sexually active people of college age will contract it, the vast majority never having any symptoms. What people should do is get the vaccine. When I was younger only women could; but these days, both sexes can.Ā And men can be tested for it, but again, it's just assumed people have it, and men would usually get tested usually if they show symptoms like genital warts, which happens in less than 1% of cases.
So my first time was with another girl and we would fuck like a lot for about a year or so, and I thought it was really normal that she always came and I never did. Literally thought I wasn't able to do it until I slept with a different girl who told me "maybe you don't cum because you stop when it gets overstimulating" So... yeah. Edit: I did not think this would resonate with people lol
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That the condom wouldn't fit or that he was 'allergic'. Yes, I know some people have allergies to latex. But guess what, a guy lied. I asked what the allergy was and his answer was shit.
I (female) discovered I was allergic to latex after losing my virginity. 0/10 do not recommend.Ā
When I was 18, my foremen told me that eating pussy helps you grow a beard. Itās still a little patchy, but I never got a complaint lol
That sex is the most important thing ever
It isnāt, the most important thing is GTA VI
We got redditors having sex before we got GTA VI
Probably none. My sex education was strictly on point.
You beat me to it. I was a nerdy, horny teenager. So I went to the library and read stuff about anatomy and science and stuff.
That marriage is a path to endless sex. It's not.
Wellā¦. I mean. Maybe not endless, but āall the timeā IS a possible marriage level.
20 years in and I'm rarely left wanting.
When a girl has an orgasm thatās the best time to shove it up their ass because theyāll love it even more.
Oh no
That women don't orgasm. My horrible football coach taught health class focused on the fact that sex is only penetration and its over when the guy cums. No mention of a female orgasm whatsoever. Thank God for my first girlfriend. She was like an instructional DVD. She knew exactly what made her cum and told me to do X for this outcome. Outwardly I was like yeah totally let's get you a shakin! Inwardly I was like "YOU FUCKIN CUM?! WHAT IS THIS?!"
When I was a kid there was no Internet. Biology books led me to firmly believe that sex was just about slipping it in and waiting around. Probably have a little chat, and finish up... somehow
That the satisfaction of a man is all that matters. Women cannot be satisfied outside of the satisfaction that comes only from pleasing a man. The fact that I *did* believe this š„²š¤¢š¤®
I dated a girl who believe her hair would fall out if she got cum in it. I also worked with a dude who said his girlfriend lost her teeth because she gave head so often. Iām sure the meth had nothing to do with it.
That there is a substance you can give someone that will make them sexually aroused and into you.
Meth. Meth makes people want to fuck. And it works stupidly well. At first. Fast forward to a few months later after your life is wrecked and youāre hopelessly addicted just to feel normal. *Thats* when suddenly you canāt finish and your dick will not stay hard. Source: In recovery from meth addiction. Seven years clean. Shit is fucked up yo.
Congratulations on 7 years š¤
Porn is like real life.
'Make sure you chug a bunch of root beer so your cum can be fizzy for her' Whilst funny, maybe that's a tad bit mean.
"Now, the minge has two main parts - the flaps and the clitty." Words of wisdom from Jay Cartwright.
"You don't need to use protection if you pull out in time." This is highly unreliable and does not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) either.
You know what they call people that use the pull out method?.....Parents.
Move your tongue in the shape of the alphabet
LOL, when my buddy was young his sister set him up with a girl and told him to do the alphabet thing. What she failed to mention was that you don't actually *say* the alphabet while you're doing it. He never hear from that girl again.
You can't get pregnant the first time, all good! Let's gooooo! Ooooooh....
That you can just space out if the sex is that bad.. you in fact cannot
When I was the younger person, my girlfriend recalled advice from Seventeen magazine to get your mouth cold with ice cubes before giving a BJ.
That girls go nuts when you give them a pearl necklace.
I got pregnant at 14 because my friends told me you can't get pregnant if you urinate after sex. I fully believed that. That's where abstinence only education leaves you. Edit: The doctor had to explain to me what a uterus is and explain sex ans anatomy after I was already pregnant and terrified because nobody armed me with the knowledge to make good decisions.
there is a horrible and true book I read about girls in the 50's that "went away" when they got pregnant. so many of them had no idea what sex even was or how babies were made. one of the more scary stories was a girl who was sent to one of those horrible places, and when she was in early labor, she asked the nurse how the baby comes out. "Same way it went in!" Which sadly did not explain shit to her.
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>Marine Corps >squishy brain though. You didn't have to repeat yourself (/s)
My Health class teacher in HS tried to convince us that oral sex could get a woman pregnant. Thanks, Rockford Public Schools.
That youāve got to put the balls in.
That women were the ones who came, and men had to use their penis (like suction cups) to remove the cum. If the men left the cum inside the women, she would be pregnant. Ig I was right in a sense.