For me to create my own custom afterlife.

I do not understand how ANYONE else can have a different answer than this

I was going to say Five Guys burger but sure - this would work too. ;D

Five guys with bacon that's cooked like bacon, not nuked from orbit. I'll take that.

Now I'm conflicted

I too, choose this guys burger

Some of us are ok with dying

I mean afterlife means you died and choosing your own means you can choose where you're permanently dead and don't experience one. Basically that wish guarantees you know will happen after dying

Personally, I didn’t mind the first four and a half billion years when I wasnt around. Im assuming the next billion will be just as easy.

Personally I'd rather have another go again in this life or eternal youth or something. It largely amounts to the same "more" as custom afterlife, but I'd rather live in this world than one I made up myself.

I’d take a blow job while I’m doing this… can eat my butt out too

The way The Good Place implied that people would eventually grow bored of heaven. I refuse to believe that.

Of heaven? Probably. Of custom afterlife? Lmao no chance.

I mean I think it depends on if you create a custom afterlife and then its set and you can live in it or if you can still make adjustments. And will your family be there too? Are they like NPCs or will they think like themselves too and not get bored of doing their fav thing for the first 6 million years, will you be able to keep yourself busy for eternity doing everything you love?

i’m thinking if you go to heaven you’ll probably be entitled to a custom afterlife

Based on how its described, you literally cannot become bored, because not only are all emotions based in sin not to be found in Heaven, you inherit God's infinite presence, and through him you never become bored. Basically, God brain washes you into liking him by removing all the stuff that troubles you in life. You know, the stuff he gave you at birth. Yeah he doesn't like that stuff, even though he forced it upon you for seemingly no reason. So, he makes it impossible for you to experience it in Heaven. So, either you get to live in Hell because you wanted to be free from God's grip, or you spend your life living the way he wants you to, and when you die, you spend eternity by his side.

dope, I don't wanna be bored

Don't worry, as long as you do everything he tells you and never stop fearing him, never stop loving him, and never stop listening to everything he has to tell you, he will force you to live for eternity in a bliss so blissful you won't even be aware that things like anger and sadness (both of which contributed to making you who you are today) will be removed from your life entirely, and you will no longer be able to grow or develop as a person, because God says so!

I'm guessing you hate it when people "shove religion down your throat." I take it you got mad when someone mentioned what a hypocrite was to you for the first time?

I’m already sold I can only get erected

going to watch it again just because you remembered me

Going to a place where you can let out all your intrusive thoughts

I'll let you fork me in the eye in the afterlife...

You won the comment section

Genius idea man

How I wish San Junipero becomes a real thing in my lifetime...

My friend has been working on a comic called PROCESSING that is basically this premise. When you die everyone goes to their "heaven" or what they expected their afterlife to be, except the main character has taken their own life and was agnostic, and so they end up in this bureaucratic afterlife department where they get to find their "afterlife". If you're interested you can find it by searching "processing comic created by Clyde" I believe it's on substack and his own website (createdbyclyde.com)

That's exactly what happens though

I'm trying to wrap my head around how many afterlives are going to be basically the same thing: endless big titty goth girls and never having to poop ever again.

I believe that's what we spend our time on Earth doing. As in, whatever you believe in, and however you perceive your success in adhering to those beliefs, is what YOU get to experience as the afterlife. I don't think this is "eternity", but I do think this explains the surge of neural activity during death. That brief period of time can feel like an eternity, or entire lives lived. Anyone who's done hallucinogens can tell you perception of time is easily manipulated by our brains. So for example: If you believe in heaven and hell, and you believe deep down you were a bad person, then your experience in death will be a hallucination that feels like eternal damnation. And so on.

Isn't this what the 5 billion isekais that come out weekly is about?

I picture it as Jim when he's playing Second Life in The Office. The flying is a real selling point for me.

That gives me anxiety just thinking about it. I already overthink things as it is, I would probably die twice if that was suddenly sprung on me.

I am changing my final wish hahahaha

Hell yea! I want my afterlife to have blackjack and hookers please!!

Do you think a custom afterlife would be based on how you feel in the moment and that over time it would become less meaningful and more artificial feeling?

Someone call Hollywood.

Granted, however you may not partake in it. You may only watch others enjoy your creation from afar.

That all the people I love be happy.

Why not everyone?

There are some people who don't deserve to be happy.

Holy shit thats the most hard comment ive heard in a while

Not harder than me while reading that.

Like me

Guess username kinda checks out??

r/BeatMeToIt

Why u say that?

Because it's true

Ayy man are you aight? That's not true bro

It might be. How could we know? This man could contain all the evil of Hitler with none of the charisma and fine taste in mustaches.

New sentence unlocked

I wish for everyone to be happy besides you due to this silly self hating comment. You’re welcome.

Very much agreed good sir

Fucking word

Because if everyone is happy, no one is.

If you eat Gourmet meals all your life, you don’t know what a good meal is . You have to eat some crappy ones to know what a good meal is!

I would be more confident in a wish coming about where the 5 or 10 most important people to me, the ones most impacted by my death personally, will live a good life than billions of people around the world, approximately all of which I've never met (I've met ~0.00% of the world's population). Most people set their life insurance to loved ones, and the ones who don't set them to charities that advance a cause important to them.

Someone please clear my search history 🙏

Your wish is granted. Your mother will be set to the task.

Wtf is up with these draw backs 😂😂😂😂

I think it's r/themonkeypaw reference or something. Basically you can ask a wish but the other one will create a dumb drawback

When your reaper’s last job title is genie

Get Opera gx and you can set it to automatically delete your history after a certain while, or replace it with a bunch of charity sites and such

That’s cool, but can it dispose of the Fleshlight and prostate massager in my nightstand?

Lmaoo this is soo real😭😭

I think of what will happen sometimes.

every cancer patient should be able to cure cancer and live happily.

Lol Insert south park joke in Stanley's cup Nelson: "Will you do me just one favor, Coach? That game tonight? I'm gonna be watching, so... could you... make it so I don't have cancer?"

That my family and friends are happy and secure. Particularly my kids. I'd still want them to enjoy life.

to not die

Wish granted, but whatever it was that was killing you is not fixed. Beheaded in a tragic cartel accident? Enjoy.

What exactly is a cartel “accident”?

Bad haircut

"Oh man, I shot Marvin(Marcos) in the face... It was an accident!"

Damn it thats the 3rd time this week

How has no one else thought about this?

For some people it would be their worst nightmare.

Blowjob

I have a better one and hear me out… TWO blowjobs!

You mean like 2 girls or 2 times ?

Both?

Genius

You get it

Ok I'll let you give me a blowjob. 

Make all the good looking people ugly

This is just so petty… Nice

Dont worry... You'll be fine ;) /s

Beautiful setup, solid delivery

Haha... Thank you... Completely unintentional setup as well, just came to me at the time, when replying to Diamont lol!

They are already ugly . It’s the rest of us that decide otherwise .

But when everyone is super, no one is.

Some transcending gawk gawk.

Hawk tua?

Nah that shit cringe.

So like 90% of memes once their "moment of fame" has vanished? It's not that i find it very funny..but part of the initial fun for me was the way a "sound" was spelled out.. and your comment reminded me of it, that's all.

I would really like to see my stats from my life. How many Kilometers I've walked, how many liters of beer I've drank, number of murdered I've shook hands with, how many pieces of toilet paper I've used. And then the last one is definitely how many hours I've masterbated. Then complete darkness.

Eternal life, and I don't care for the monkey paw bullshit about existing until the heat death of the universe and losing your mind BLAH BLAH BLAH I want to see all that

You’d get bored as fuck

Still less boring than being dead.

Is it? You wouldn’t be aware of anything, so how would you know if you’re bored or not? You can’t feel bored when you’re dead

I wouldn't BE bored, but it's still boring.

Oh you can live to see Titanfall 3

I would love to witness the collision of the Milky Way and Andromeda

You won't miss much. Saw it in a past life. Pretty undwhelming. Billions of stars and only 3,457 of them hit each other. Total let down

Die exactly during feeling of an orgasm

going while you’re cumming, nice.

cum and go

One second you’re saying “oh god”, the next you’re saying “hi god”.

kinda cooking idk

That's funny because in french it's called the little death

Probably a 2nd chance to do it all over again while retaining my knowledge. I messed up and have a lot of regrets in my life.

NG+

Especially if you remember sports outcomes and can gamble on ‘em!

For forgiveness and mercy

boring tbh but good for you

To take all you fucks with me.

Nah dude thats way too edgy

Hey, you do you. The way I look at it, if I ain't in the universe anymore, no reason for anyone else to be there either.

WHAT IF I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN

That ain't narcissistic 😂

NAME NOT CHECKING OUT

If there were another life after death , to be born to the same parents.

That’s wholesome. I kind of feel the same way. Not that they were perfect, but excellent enough that it wouldn’t be worth rolling the dice. 

Completely agree with this one. If I can match the childhood that I had for my own kids I know I've done a near perfect job, not everyone is so lucky.

That my family and friends do not dwell on my death or remember me with sadness, and that my partner moves on and shares her life with someone else.

Have been born another gender in the after life with what I know now

Nothing, I finally got my wish after all this time

Not to be born again anywhere

Happy cake day! 🥳

With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!

To have lived a life filled with love and happiness.

A hug

People no longer being born with autism.

To be with all my family one last time especially my dog.

Before dying, i would wish to be reincarnated back into my own bloodline. Become the grandchildren of my children. I would grow up normally and when i'm in highschool, become a handsome, thin, and popular person. >**Then, i will fall in love in highschool with a beautiful girl. And have a memorable highschool romance. Then i will get married immediately after highschool graduation. Our union will be blessed by everyone. No one will wish me ill.** >Then i will go to the same college and university with my newly-wed wife. After finishing uni, start getting jobs and start having children. Raise a family. Grow my career. Then, after a decade of hardwork and with enough savings and a strong resume, Apply to work in America, preferably any big company at Silicon Valley, or maybe go to Seattle and work for Microsoft. This would be my last wish.

If he is still alive. That my Brother dies a slow and agonising death.

I feel like there is more to the story here.

Some stories are better to keep a secret.

Oh oh. Give us the deets

He's a homo-/transphobic a******** who doesn't know that no means no. He physically abused me as a child and carried on the bullying where my classmates left off. Because of him, I had no peace at home because I had to share a room with him for several years. At some point it became too much for me and I slept on a mattress on the floor in my parent's room for two or three years. Today, at 24, I still have nightmares about him.

Well, that's insane. If I go before you, I'll also wish for this as I go.

Thanks >:3

I dont offer too often, but if you need a hand disposing of a body sized roll of carpet, send me a dm.

What the fuck. Honeslty that on your parents your brothers a double but how was he getting away with this?

Just want to read all Dostoevsky books before dying....

To relive my entire life from the beginning. I've been through some shit in my life but I'd surely want to relive it for the best parts of it without a doubt. And I'm not talking about "I'm still dead and reliving the events in my head" I'm talking about going back in time and reliving it all.

I want my body to become a tree, use me as fertiliser to grow a seed into a huge tree.

An infinite,orgasmic afterlife.

To see my closest friends and tell them how much I love them

No game no life season 2

Stop stalling, and just get it over with.

to not die alone

Not to die

Burger

>When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest

To be able to re-do anything I like at any point. It doesn't have to stick necessarily.

To curse the dreaming city in a perpetual 3 week time loop.

If I go before my wife, for her to be taken care of financially for the foreseeable future. If I go after her, I would want to see her at least one more time, even if it's brief.

If it would be any time soon it would be for my wife to be financially stable on her own and for her to move on after grieving

To be isekaid

that i would go to starclan when i died

Christina hendricks tits

To get my son gta 7

Playing GTA6😵‍💫

going to heaven

To get freakayyyy😝😛

Enough money to sent my children for life

I wanna be a ghost so I can fuck with people. Gonna write vaguely threatening things on so many post-shower mirrors…

Could also just brainfuck them by ever so slightly adjusting their car mirrors every now and then

To not die

That all beings find peace and joy

I would want to have my ashes sent out to a list of people. Any enemies would definitely get some with a note indicating that they’ve been cursed. I would also want to have them sent to associates as well as people I wasn’t that close to. Like my pharmacist and my dog groomer and a few debt collection agencies

That my kids will be ok.

If I could have one last wish, I would like a tasty fish.

A live marching band playing for me while everyone clapped and cheered me.

*Not* dying?

Y’all ain’t main characters

Okay Meagan

To be reincarnated

Killing all my enemys

To not die?

to watch the "way out west" dance routine

To hear a gtr for the last time

* I really wanna stay at your house starts playing*

Give me more days

For people to forget I existed.

That my loved ones have a swift and gentle moving on after.

High dose fentanyl. Pure pleasure, no downside I’ll die before withdrawal

I dunno, but say you made an application for a bank loan for 100k just before you died. And you were accepted. Who would be responsible for paying that back?

Not to die. Check mate atheists.

Not die.

Launch the nukes

For the transition to be painless

“Don’t move on”

"FU, i dont believe in genies \*throws up middle finger and ascends into heaven\*"

To see the full moons beauty in its whole one last time

To be reborn a happier person with a better childhood.

To not die duh.