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Heavenlyamanda7

Interestingly, Nintendo holds the rights to a porn film called "The Super Hornio Brothers," in which Ron Jeremy played Mario.


_Didds_

Context: the movie was launched at the same time as the first Super Mario movie as a porn parody and Nintendo tried to stop this due to legal claims. In court Nintendo never was able to prove a copyright claim strong enough to win the case so they instead bought the entire thing for a rather large sum of money to stop it and gain legal claim on future distribution rights and eventual follow ups. Pre Covid there were a few people trying to restore a VHS copy into digital form to publish it online, and I personally don't know if they succeeded it or not


TheAllKnowingWilly

1.Make Mario parody porn around a Nintendo release date 2.claim it releases on the same day as their game 3.profit We getting outta poverty with this one bois


Kirkaig678

Except you would probably lose the court case because you're poor


mider-span

I’ve seen it. A VHS copy floated around my neighborhood in the late 90s. It’s not good even by porn standards.


Puffycatkibble

It's Ron Jeremy. Being awful is baked in.


magikcat101

I second this, I tried to forget that man existed til now lol


MassDriverOne

He's more like the wario to a danny devito mario


Tittiessunshine7

Handling some (perhaps most?) species of pet birds on their bodies, wings, or elsewhere can be sexually stimulating for the birds. Many owners face behavioral issues because they are unknowingly edging their pet birds.


SJSGFY

This is both educational & something I wish I could immediately unknow! Thanks!


foul_ol_ron

> immediately unknow! I read that as immediately unOwl, and became a little concerned. 


Soldarumi

We used to own 3 lady chickens. We thought it was super cute that they got into this weird pose whenever you went to pet them, like they were looking forward to having a good back stroke. Wasn't until a chicken farmer told us that no, that's their 'fuck me, Mr Rooster' pose as they think they're about to get their eggs fertilised...


sandersonprint

Ooooooohhhh..... Is it a kind of squatting, wings slightly bent outwards pose?


princesscuddlefish

Parrot owner here, can 100% confirm.


babyrobotman

Go on......


princesscuddlefish

So if you pet like anything below their head and neck, they form an attachment to you and see you as their mate. They get territorial, and try to mate with whatever part of you they are sitting in. My parrot enjoys trying to mate with the rug or soft blankets whenever he is denied the opportunity to do it on me. Which is 99.9999% of the time because that’s gross. EDIT: the 0.0001% of the time is when he gets on me and I can’t shoo him off if I have my hands full or something.


average_ink_drawing

But there's still that 0.0001% chance!


princesscuddlefish

Yep, he likes to get on me when I have my hands full and start getting to business 🤢🤢🤢


Tugonmynugz

Step parrot, what are you doing?!


xxplosiv

That 0.0001% time you're like "Daddy's home' 😈


princesscuddlefish

nO 🤮🤮🤮


u8whatnow

“99.9999%” of the time. So what you are saying is that there is still a chance?


colummbina

lol my cockatiel used to unabashedly hump his rope toy, it was so awkward


princesscuddlefish

The noises they make 🤢🤢🤢


Ratstail91

Oh. Ooooooooh crap


baroncalico

Yeaaaah… Mom kept birds. This does happen…


caidicus

I used to co-raise a Goffin Cockatoo (spelling?) It would occasionally hump the other guy's hand from time to time. As far as I know, you just kind of let them, as it's not inherently unhealthy for them to essentially masturbate. It's pretty uh... Unsettling, I think is the right word.


Juhx-uk

Parrot Behaviourist here, this is 100% true


BlazedLurker

I'm sorry.... did you say you're a parrot behaviorist??? Fascinating. Really learning a lot today in this thread.


Juhx-uk

I am indeed, but I also breed them and train them. It's an awesome career, as I work with parrots everyday!


cute_angelic1

Bedbugs engage in "traumatic insemination," with males piercing the female's body cavity to inject sperm directly. This is their only method of reproduction. As if everything else about them wasn't bad enough.


Bunny-senorita78

what's even better is that female bed bugs have external parts for accepting genetic material. The males stab them in the guts anyway.


PirokaPiriPiri

What a dick move.


Esarus

What the fuck I hate this please delete this from my memory


yosayoran

It should be noted the females do have functional reproductive organs. The reason they choose to go through the belly is unknown. 


awesomesonofabitch

Because they're awful creatures.


bruh-1001

Its tighter that way


Aelle29

Thank you for ruining my day


_LocoLizard

I believe other insects do this too, such as certain species of bees and ants, and probably more. Mating is very unique for many species actually. What comes to mind first is the angler fish where the male becomes a part of the females body with their bodies fusing together, so he basically becomes a parasitic growth. And don't get me started on the duck sex. But I definitely didn't know about the bedbugs so thanks


BlackCaaaaat

Ah bedbugs. Straight from Satan’s flaming butthole to your home.


jesusfaro99

Anton Leeuwenhoek, the father of microscopy, used his invention (the microscope) on his own sperm after one night with his wife. Sperm was unknown at the time and he thought they were little people


ravenlordship

I feel like that revelation would completely kill the mood in the bedroom for a while.


bohanmyl

Nah he was just staring at his balls shouting "I AM A GOD"


Vernknight50

"Mother, Recieve my PEOPLE!!"


Wodanaz-Frisii

I live about 5 minutes away from his grave, I will tell him he was a perv next time I see his grave.


Tthelaundryman

Cum on his grave, it’s what he would have wanted


Wodanaz-Frisii

Bit difficult to do for a woman.


Far_Jacket_9571

where there is a will, there is a way!


Don_Frika_Del_Prima

Bring the cum of your prey?


badhombre44

They’re *almost* little people.


Yoshi50000

I mean, he wasn’t far off


scotty813

When we played with the microscopes in HS Biology, I really wanted to look at sperms, but I couldn't think of a way to being it up with out being branded a sicko for the rest of my HS life...


mishkatormoz

What also intresting, he specificaly mentioned in his notes, that said sperm was recive as result of intrrcourse with his wife, not in a "sinfull" way of masturbation


falsevector

His wife must have been apalled and confused while he got a sample


BethyStewart78

To be fair, his sperm were wearing little top hats and asking directions to this great place his buddy was talking about before he disappeared.


anxietystrings

Two US presidents had names for their dicks. Warren Harding named his "Jerry." Lyndon Johnson named his "Jumbo." LBJ would often whip Jumbo out to intimidate fellow politicians


hammer2309

That we know about


Pristine-Habit-9632

I'd be surprised if Bill and Monica DIDN'T have a name for lil Willy Clinton...


CawsARiot

The Sax


xBrutalbee

He missed the opportunity to call it Little Johnson.


angelazy

Dude was hanging dong, doubt he would’ve gone with little


furryscrotum

Big Jay


FlameOfIgnis

Or maybe Johnson & Johnson was what he named his balls so it would be confusing if he did


sad_prepa_life

According to all accounts... It wasn't little


DocBullseye

According to all accounts, dude used to whip it out and show it to people all the tjme.


spinonesarethebest

My uncle actually saw it. Didn’t tell me anything about size, though.


Immediate_Finger_889

I’m pretty sure Johnson used to show his Johnson to everyone at every opportunity too. Imagine the president just whipping his dick out and showing it to people … wait, I just realized …


Tapps74

There are stories that LBJ would get Jumbo out as a joke at parties or to “intimidate people” with it. Apparently LBJ was rather well endowed. There are also reports of LBJ urinating in public, it has been suggested this behaviour was more prevalent when female reporters were around. LBJ is also quoted as saying (in reference to JFK’s sexual conquests) - “I have slept with more women by accident than JFK had on purpose”. Overall he seems like a lovely fella, perhaps don’t book him for kids parties though?


Coralthesequel

In the Portuguese dub of Star Wars, Count Dooku's name was changed to Count Dookan because Dooku sounds too much like 'Do cu' which in Portuguese roughly translates to 'I do anal'


AnotherWildDog

Studio Ghibli movie *Castle in the Sky* there's a floating island called "Laputa". But in the spanish dub they didn't do any change at all despite "La Puta" in spanish means "the whore", turning the movie into an unintentional comedy or any hispanic speaker. EDIT: [Here's the proof](https://youtu.be/vTzOc1WGeEc?si=M6UDQXUQgMs4rCI2), just ignore the watermark.


theborgs

The French version of any Zelda games will use "Mojo" instead of "Deku" because in French, Deku sounds a lot like "des culs" (asses in English)


whiteclawthreshermaw

Sounds like a Sithty situation.


Don_Frika_Del_Prima

Good thing Portugal didn't face Belgium during this euro 24 cup then. As we have a winger called Doku.


F0000r

Some sea slugs engage in what's called penis fencing. When they meet, they get their dicks out and try and stab each other with them. The looser is injected with sperm and becomes pregnant.


AsynchronousSeas

Need me a freak like this 🙏


shredivan

🎶 Is somebody gonna match my freak🎶


BadAtStuf

1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a penis war


annoyingone

5,6,7,8, get ready to inseminate


Jay2612

9,10,1...~AAAARGH, FUCK YOU JERRY! I WASN'T READY!


Panda_RP

It's not exactly like that, snails are hermafrodites which means they have both reproductive systems. They pierce each other with darts before mating in order to turn the other snail into a female. Being a male slug is easier to trhive since there is no need to create, lay and take care of the eggs, that is why they want to fight with they darts, again not the same as they genitalia.


SalotheAlien

Snails too


ThaiLassInTheSouth

the looser what?


Ad_Horribilis

Hole


MydnightWN

Loser*


F0000r

Don't you love auto correct? Mention a penis and my phone thinks I want to talk about loose things.


No_Refrigerator2582

Sounds like an good night out with the boys


Imnot_urhero

Bears and bats are know to practice fellatio


Omnimpotent

Why would a bear suck a bat’s cock?


badhombre44

20 dollars is 20 dollars.


mechwarrior719

And pic-a-nic baskets are expensive these days.


Schwiliinker

Do you know where you can get a BJ for $20? Asking for a friend


LasagnaPhD

Why not?


SocrapticMethod

So anyway, I’m not allowed back to that zoo.


relentlessmelt

So are Hedgehogs


Istoh

Yeah I know, I've seen Deviantart. 


Whatdoyoubelive

In animal park Schönbrunn in Vienna i saw a bear doing fellatio on himself


SweetBabyJebus

And walruses. I saw one giving himself a BJ at Sea World once.


UndyingKarric

So are chimps and frogs!


fuckthepuns

When Henry VIII wanted to bang his wife, he was followed by a procession of 30-40 people (all important people had separate living areas) and it took 2+ hours for the bed to be prepared for the royal copulation.


Artemis246Moon

What a big parade for just 3 inches.


Own-Beginning-3886

No wonder it took so long for him to produce a son. /s


BigGingerYeti

There is a subculture of fetishists actively trying to get STD's including HIV. They're called 'bug hunters'.


dumbinternetstuff

Bug chasers


Fickle-Command-1130

Ick. I remember seeing a quick doc on that. Dude wanted to get HIV for his BIRTHDAY. And he gets it! Absolutely mental.


PhilyJFry

I can only imagine they get HIV and realize it's a one time fetish. Like you kinda ruined it for yourself bud


DLMoore9843

Glen quagmire is their hero


BlackCaaaaat

And then some of them deliberately spread the ‘bugs.’ Fucking nasty.


BigGingerYeti

Yeah that's when it gets into dangerous and illegal territory.


qzwqz

Female kangaroos have three vaginas


MiniMagne

How many does male kangaroos have?


colin_staples

Typically a male kangaroo has no vaginas


MichaeIWave

Typically


TildaTinker

Only the two *sighs bi-vaginally*


theborgs

Male echidnas have a 4 headed dick


yosayoran

8 legs 7 vaganias, maybe more Imagine


bohanmyl

So you could say the average Kangaroo has 1.5 Vaginas


ohaiyofman

If you’re too constipated you can straight up vomit turds


EnglishWolverine

New fear unlocked!


H3lw3rd

There is a [documentary](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VR82cJUipnQ&pp=ygUWc291dGggcGFyayB2b21pdCBwb29wIA%3D%3D) about it!


sweetiemama248

Pigs have sex for pleasure and have orgasms that can last 30 minutes.


mom_with_an_attitude

The female pig's clitoris is located *inside the vaginal canal*. Lucky sows.


lerpo

Your mum is a lucky lady


HalfSoul30

I know what i'm asking to be reincarnated as.


TuhatKaks

There is a your mum joke hidden somewhere....


Hoskuld

Wim Hof, the Dutch guy peddling ice baths and breathing techniques, once nearly died when he gave himself an enema in a public fountain because "they must have switched to a more powerful nozzle as it was fine the many times he gave himself an enema there before" There are also people trying to get him to court for death related to his teachings but that kind of cannot compete with his water fountain death enema


The1joriss

In wrestling especially in 70s & 80s when it was highly considered to be a ‘manly’ sport, it wasn’t uncommon for wrestlers to play ‘homo-erotic’ pranks on each other, even during the match. The best known is ‘checking the oil’ meaning a wrestler would ram his finger right up his opponent anus during a lift.


facepoppies

I worked with a guy who did amateur pro wrestling, and he said that a lot of wrestlers even on the WWE level will plug their asses with wads of toilet paper so they don’t shit themselves during a match


lovelycat707

Using nutmeg anally can be deadly.


HalfSoul30

I bet a lot falls under that umbrella


Im_eating_that

Yeah an umbrella would be pretty bad


federicoaa

Only if you accidentally open it


babyrobotman

Just do it slowly and use a safe word


fuckthepuns

The average human erection has enough blood to fill three gerbils.


Dat-Boi-143

Damn it I was gonna put that, but 1 rabbit instead of 3 gerbils


[deleted]

[удалено]


TildaTinker

Yes yes, we all know about Catholicism.


Skyphen1

HAH.


babyrobotman

Mate that sounds awesome Better get fuckin


Skyphen1

If i wasn't locked down with state govt obligations, I may have taken advantage of that by now.


SnowLepor

What company is this? With 80k employees I don’t think you are at risk in telling us.


Constant-Working9505

Salesforce


Blew-By-U

Raccoons can fit into a 4 inch hole. Your anus can stretch up to 8 inches. So…2 raccoons.


Greatgrowler

A 4” hole has an opening of about 50 square inches, as opposed to about 200 square inches for an 8” hole, so actually four raccoons.


Ouija-1973

Some bad mather out there has been cheating themself out of two racoons.


pointedshard

Nah. Do your maths. The area of a 4” hole is 3.14*2squared. 12.56 square inches. The area of an 8” hole is 3.14*4squared or 50.24 square inches. So there’s room for 4 raccoons. But make sure you use lots of lube.


i_like_the_wine

At first I thought you meant 8 inches...diameter. I was agape.


degausser187

Nope, not my asshole. I struggle to push out some of the largest shits and they just will NOT! So I don't believe this one.


Any_Title4767

noOoOoOoOooOooOo


Omnimpotent

Too late. Raccoons in your hole.


Grand-Inspector

3 if you would just relax…..


Moon_Jewel90

Male ducks have corkscrew penises and female ducks have corkscrew vaginas. This prevents forced mating.


Itsoktogobacktosleep

What’s up with the duck rape issue then?


fuckthepuns

The barnacle has the largest penis to body ratio of any animal


rachamuhbob

That’s why Danny Devito is called the barnacle.


FrancisBaconofSC

The Guinness Book record holder for longest penis lives in my county, and that there are stickers (like the ones that say 26.2, for marathon runners) that say 17 1/4 (or three quarters, or something. I know the first digit is 17) that people put on their cars when they've slept with him


-NotVeryImportant-

After the first 17... I don't think anyone is going to argue if it's 1/4 or 3/4.


No_Bend8

I need some proof. There's no way someone has a 17 inch penis


Banana_Ranger

Oh your poor DMs


FrancisBaconofSC

Check the Guinness Book? 🤷‍♂️


No_Bend8

What I'm reading is his forskin has been manipulated and stretched to 18 inches and his penis is actually "normal sized" underneath ??


_LocoLizard

If you start slow and practice, you can teach your body to accept HUGE things being inserted into the ass. I mean 4 raccoons ain't shit compared to some of the toys people are using nowadays. I have seen some custom dildos on the bad dragon and other fantasy dildo subs recently that look bigger around than my torso (no bullshit, go look if you don't believe me) and I genuinely fear for some of these peoples safety and wonder if they still have normal body functions. It's going to just keep getting crazier too as those in the circle seem to view it as a competition of sorts.


Itsoktogobacktosleep

This thread and raccoons…


Mister_Funktastic

There's a condition called Vaginismus where an involuntary muscle spasm of the vagina can interfere with sex. The vagina shrinks almost completely closed and in some cases, if the man is long enough the man can get stuck inside the woman. It's called Penis Captivus. If the couples relax, usually the vaginal muscles relax and the guy can pull out, but in some cases, special muscle relaxants must be injected around the vulva or the man's penis will lose blood circulation and die.


DepthsOfArcadia

Ah yes, the illusive penis flytrap.


fuckthepuns

The average blue whale penis is 13-15ft long.


kevinsomnia

This is how I earned the nickname 'Blue Whale.' Or maybe it's the 20,000 daily pounds of krill I eat. Who's to say, really?


EmeraldJunkie

Apparently sugar/salt (I forget which) can cause a prolapsed anus to retract. This was told to me by a customer at the place I used to work at who decided to confide in me that her backside had been ruined by doing years of hardcore pornography and she used to keep some on hand just in case she had an "accidental rosebud" which she was out and about. All because a little packet fell out of her bag.


Mrslinkydragon

It's sugar. Salt would work as well as both act on osmosis but sugar isn't an irritant. You have to do the same to reptiles with penile prolapse.


LuxNocte

>a little packet fell out of her bag. Okay, this has to be some sort of TMI record. I can imagine her thinking "Oh shit. They saw the sugar packet. I had better confess that I did hardcore pornography for years and now have a prolapsed anus so they don't get the wrong impression."


Illogical_Blox

Mastectomies were practiced by the Byzantines in the case of breast cancer. This procedure, which was done without anesthetic, consisted of alternatively cutting and cauterizing. This was an absolutely brutal procedure, but some patients survived the operation and were able to go on and live their lives. There was a doctor, John Hunter, who sought to prove that syphilis and gonorrhoea were in fact the same disease, but under different presentations. To prove this, he took a recently deceased man's penile discharge (the man had syphilis) and rubbed into cuts on his own penis. He developed symptoms of gonorrhoea, and later syphilis, proving that they were in fact the same disease. Unfortunately, the man actually just had both diseases, but wasn't presenting with any gonorrhoea symptoms. Due to John Hunter being a quite well-respected doctor, this held back the advance of syphilis and gonorrhoea treatments by about half a century.


onionrings4eva

Humans and dolphins are the only animals who admire their own genitalia


AlwaysBeQuestioning

How can dolphins see and therefore admire their own genitalia?


babyrobotman

They bend over in front of a mirror


Flaky-Conference-181

We gave mirrors to dolphins in captivity.


hilarioustrainwreck

The world’s youngest mother, historically, was six years old when she gave birth. 


Dopeman11PE

Lips and bootyhole are made out the same meat/body tissue. Tested and proved the theory myself


Alternative_Oil_5017

The Honda SMX was ment to have sex in it.


Happy-Watercress3232

Pokémon is the franchise that has had the most porn art drawn of it 


Serious_Buffalo_3790

And lucario is the pokemon with the most of them


bohanmyl

Itd plummet to last on the list if Gardevoir and Lopunny didnt exist.


Weary_Clerk_788

Did you know that wombats poop in cubes? It's not NSFW in the usual sense, but it's definitely something you don't want to think about during lunch!


ABKWM42

They are tough cubes, that don't stink. The most friendly POOP.


clubmarinesandwich

Female hyenas have what’s called a “pseudo-penis” instead of an external vagina. They give birth through it, and the opening is only about an inch wide. So, a majority of cubs suffocate during birth. It’s also extremely painful and sometimes fatal for the mother. They have been seen gnawing and tearing it open to try to make the birth easier.


LtCmdrJimbo

Edward VII had a "love chair" constructed by a French furniture company that allowed him to have sex with women without crushing them under the weight of his massive body.


Heavy_Direction1547

Nancy Davis (Reagan) had the reputation as best head in Hollywood.


theenemygateis

Nancy the throat GOAT Reagan.


stnrgrl10

Slugs glow in the dark when they are mating.


Distinct_Mix5130

Honestly I still can't get over how disgusting dolphins are, first off, like humans, they mate for pleasure, so... Here's the weird thing, they tend to gangrape female dolphins, apperently they're dicks are hooked shaped too, so thanks to that the female dolphins can't escape, you think that's bad? What about the fact some dolphins are sexually attracted to humans too, and they have infact sexually assaulted plenty of humans,. Dolphins aren't as cute and adorable as people think.


bbcuh162

A whale's penis is called a dork.


fuckthepuns

The world record for longest cumshot is 18ft.


Own-Beginning-3886

That’s impressive ngl


bixsexual_moth

Butterflies when given the chance can and will drink blood


Buetterkeks

You likely wouldnt survive intercourse with a dolphin, since they cum hard enough To Break your skin. Also, the female dolphin ejects a Secret, which when tested ON Monkeys Made the cum so hard they litterally died


JRockThumper

Imagine if we ever get suicide booths and THAT is an option lmfao.


guardian2428

A secret what?


its_Trollcraft

Secret secretion


mortyella

Can't tell you. It's a secret.


Tartan_Commando

Also because they live underwater.


BowTiesAreCool86

Mallards reproduce through gang rape