Right up there with confidently displaying my forklift certification card *BY ACCIDENT* while taking out my prepaid visa card to hand to the attractive cashier.
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry
Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
A whole night what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
& I JIZZED IN MY PANTS
Nighttime pool parties/beach gatherings.
Something about being in the water at night is a massive turn on for all involved.
Edit: originally wrote "nightly", changed to "nighttime"
Older guy here - YES.
Seriously, as a young guy you will talk your way out of getting laid a lot more than the other way around. I promise you.
Doesn’t mean never talk just… listen more than you speak.
>
>
>
>
> Doesn’t mean never talk just… listen more than you speak.
Bonus points if you remember what she said and refer to it later in a different conversation.
There's a couple shows and movies that I'd regularly watch with an ex that would always lead to sex.
My body has become conditioned for horniness now any time I see the Great British Baking Show or hear the music from Hamilton 😂
Hey fun tidbit: my coworkers found out that I know the lyrics to the entire play. They thought it was weird because my normal genres are nowhere near Hamilton
They did not understand the context of Hamilton at first. They do now lmao.
But they were, all of them, decieved, for another butt had wriggled. In the land of mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master ass, to control all others. And into this ring he poured all his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all erections.
I think the first one ever is innocent, then we discover the power.
Although apparently I had an evil but innocent butt wiggle in my sleep. My late partner said I used to wiggle back until he was pressed against me, then do it again and he’d move back a tiny bit. I’d keep going until he was out the bed and I’d taken all the blankets lmao.
My GF is the same, I've flipped the script a little tho. If she is cold she wiggles over to me, so if I'm feeling in need of a cuddle I adjust the thermostat from my phone and drop the temp a few degrees. Twenty minutes later her booty is backing up to me.
I’m a butt-wiggler, it drives him crazy. It’s something I do out and about too (like waiting for credit card to process), didn’t realize I was teasing him horribly all that time.
Moving from kiss to french-kiss denotes a noticeable shift in arousal. It’s never a guarantee, but moving from that point to nakedness, is much less than from kiss to french-kiss.
Do you kiss without French kiss???? Maybe because I'm French but I immediately go for French kiss. Problem, it doesn't indicates at all if sex is coming.
Back in my twenties I was visiting a friend. His roommate has a cute young lady visiting. We all got drunk. When the roommates went to their rooms to pass out it was just me and her. She said her back hurt and needed a massage. Being a drunk fool I said I was horrible at them especially when I was drunk.
Three days later..."Ohhh...damnit!"
Not quite the same, but in high school, I had a girl invite me to her house to smoke weed while her parents were out of town. She kept me in her room with the door locked, because her little sister was home, while she made us food. We ate sitting on her bed, and then laid on her bed for nearly 2 hours watching TV *with the door locked* before I decided to call my dad to pick me up.
She avoided me at school the next day and moved to Miami a week later. Live and learn, I guess 🙃
I’m sure the Miami move was already planned but I also like that the way you wrote it could sound like because of what happened she decided she couldn’t stay there anymore and had to move away.
I think every dude has a story like this. They could flat out tell us “HEY I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU” and a good portion of us would still go “sex? Here? With me? You sure?”
I swear, the reason I ended up with my current partner was because I agreed to a one night stand (that never ended) because he offered me a back massage.
I'm a sucker for a massage lmao
This happened to me with a friend. We were hanging out one night and she was complaining about her back hurting. I started giving her a massage and after a few minutes she mumbled out "You better stop, you're making me horny and I might have to do something about that." I thought she was joking.
She was not.
I invited a friend over to find out how the date I set her up on went. She lamented he was a little tall for her liking, preferred guys about my height.
She mentioned having a sore neck and I asked her if she wanted me to try and massage it out.
I'm.not sure how it happened, but within a few minutes we were completely naked and banging.
It was definitely an eye opener; the massage is inherently one of the best non-sexual but incredibly intimate things you can do to someone. Running your fingers along the neck and behind her ears, yeah, totally didn't do that on purpose when I was massaging that shoulder
> preferred guys about my height
Yeah so, like... as soon as she said this she was telling you she was into you. Just so you know. You don't come back from a date and tell someone you prefer _them_ unless you PREFER them.
Oh, I 100% picked up on it. I simply didn't expect it, and then our clothes were completely off shortly after.
The height comment alone didn't allow me to, just, well, yknow, hit on her? I dunno, young hormones are weird.
I just, yeah, never knew it could go about like that and definitely opened my eyes.
A coworker once told me that Jurassic Park was the best movie to watch with a girl. When I asked why, his rationale was "Simple. Because even if you don't get laid, you get to watch Jurassic Park!".
In my mind, you have thought at least one time about yelling "oh jennay!" When she takes off her blouse/bra, but id still be impressed if you managed to sneak a forrest gump quote in there.
Edit: im surprised that out of all the replies, nobody has said "something bit me!"
It’s crazy that as a child, I always had to ask permission to spend the night at a friends and promise to do something (get As, wash the car, volunteer, etc.). It was like I was being given a gift to be able to spend the night away from home. Little did I know . . . I was the one being played.
Yeah, you were not only giving them the privacy fir sex but also doing chores they'd need to do before sex, giving them the energy to have sex instead of just falling asleep early.
Most everyone is talking about it from the perspective of being in a relationship, but I think drinking alcohol is high up on the list for single people.
My coworker always makes the joke about when she used to drink… “I don’t know why, but for some reason tequila always makes me pregnant.” Lol
Edit*
[tequila](https://imgur.com/gallery/UyvizAa)
I just wish they would use lube first.
And now I want to take a bottle of lube with me next time I buy a car. Then when they sit down with me to discuss price, I'll just get out the bottle and without saying a word, set it down on the salesman's desk.
Tickling while wrestling and tumbling all over each other then… oops how did that nip slip happen?! Uh oh… now he is accidentally suckling it. Aw hell… lets just go all out and do the damn thang.
Statistically, it's massages.
All that intimate skin-to-skin contact. They have a higher "not-sex to sex" conversion rate of any activity short of something jokey like foreplay.
My buddy checks my prostate with his dick because I want to be proactive with my healthcare. I just close my eyes and say no homo over and over to reverse the gay polarity back to heterosexual.
Usually making out. I remember I pissed off my girlfriend one night and it was pretty obvious there would be no sex. Gave her a kiss good night while gracing her face and her tongue in my mouth.
Works 60% of the time every time.
When I wiggle my butt into my husbands crotch as he spoons me
So it is intentional...
No they're just getting comfortable
Hey, if they want to park their plane on my landing zone, they shouldn't be surprised if I take off.
Anytime my husband says he wants to “cuddle” I know he literally just wants to bone
Carrying the most chairs.
Church girls swoon!
Right up there with confidently displaying my forklift certification card *BY ACCIDENT* while taking out my prepaid visa card to hand to the attractive cashier.
I’m glad that this is a shared thought among all boys
Well according to porn, fixing the plumbing issues of hot women.
Asking “should we?”
“We really shouldn’t” usually seals the deal
“Ya know you wanna”
*Lawsuit emerges*
Locking eyes.
From across the room?
Down my drink while the rhythms boom Take your hand and skip the names No need here for the silly games Make our way through the smoke and crowd The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud Move in close as the lasers fly Our bodies touch and the angels cry Leave this place go back to yours Our lips first touch outside your doors A whole night what we've got in store Whisper in my ear that you want some more & I JIZZED IN MY PANTS
One more thing, I'll pay by check. 📖
This really never happens, you can take my word I won't apologize, that's just absurd
It's mainly your fault for the way that you dance
And now I JIZZ in my pants
Don't tell yiur friends or I'll say you're a slut. Plus it's your fault you were rubbing my butt.
I'm very sensitive some would say that's a plus, now I'll go home and change.
It might initiate a trainer battle though
Nighttime pool parties/beach gatherings. Something about being in the water at night is a massive turn on for all involved. Edit: originally wrote "nightly", changed to "nighttime"
It's all that pee in the pool
name also checks
Might have something to do with people being mostly naked when they swim.
& drunk.
It's because everybody looks good with glistening water in the moonlight and the light distorting everything.
The hours of drinking and partying leading up to the night swim dont hurt either.
I think it's because of all the skin exposed. Makes everyone go awooooga.
something that can easily make you wet?
“Watching a movie” There’s a reason “Netflix and chill” became a popular phrase
The science of sitting together in silence
So what you're saying is that if I was better at shutting the fuck up, I'd get laid more?
Older guy here - YES. Seriously, as a young guy you will talk your way out of getting laid a lot more than the other way around. I promise you. Doesn’t mean never talk just… listen more than you speak.
> > > > > Doesn’t mean never talk just… listen more than you speak. Bonus points if you remember what she said and refer to it later in a different conversation.
Women loved it when they learned I kept a note on their interests and stuff while dating them. I like you happy. Of course I'm going to put in effort.
Also a birthday calendar is an adulting skill that's vastly underrated. Birthday surprises will make anybody happy.
There's a couple shows and movies that I'd regularly watch with an ex that would always lead to sex. My body has become conditioned for horniness now any time I see the Great British Baking Show or hear the music from Hamilton 😂
Hey fun tidbit: my coworkers found out that I know the lyrics to the entire play. They thought it was weird because my normal genres are nowhere near Hamilton They did not understand the context of Hamilton at first. They do now lmao.
Good on you for not throwing away your shot
He was in the room where it happened. The room where it happened.
He was feeling pretty Satisfied after that
Snuggling for a couple hours, especially if you aren’t asleep by that time and your partner starts to tease you
My girlfriend's butt wiggle when we're cuddling kills me
Never have I encountered an innocent butt wiggle. Edit: 5 year old reddit account, this comment doubled my karma..
The more innocent it tries to be, the more innocent it isn't.
That's when you slap it for being deceitful.
But they were, all of them, decieved, for another butt had wriggled. In the land of mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master ass, to control all others. And into this ring he poured all his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all erections.
I think the first one ever is innocent, then we discover the power. Although apparently I had an evil but innocent butt wiggle in my sleep. My late partner said I used to wiggle back until he was pressed against me, then do it again and he’d move back a tiny bit. I’d keep going until he was out the bed and I’d taken all the blankets lmao.
My GF is the same, I've flipped the script a little tho. If she is cold she wiggles over to me, so if I'm feeling in need of a cuddle I adjust the thermostat from my phone and drop the temp a few degrees. Twenty minutes later her booty is backing up to me.
Brilliant. This is a textbook example of what’s possible when the big head and the little head work together.
Actually, in this case, the little head merely contracted out some consultation work to the big head.
Using technology in this way is brilliant. Hats off for you!
I have been the victim of this.
I had to explain what the butt wiggle did to me to my girlfriend just for her to go. "ooooooh, yeah, I know I try to see how long you hold out"
I’m a butt-wiggler, it drives him crazy. It’s something I do out and about too (like waiting for credit card to process), didn’t realize I was teasing him horribly all that time.
You're a monster. I know who you are...*Christina*.
a couple hours? for me its a couple minutes
Same who has this kind of time
Showing off your bionicle collection
Moving from kiss to french-kiss denotes a noticeable shift in arousal. It’s never a guarantee, but moving from that point to nakedness, is much less than from kiss to french-kiss.
Yea, the second a tongue is involved sex is almost always going to happen. 😂
Do you kiss without French kiss???? Maybe because I'm French but I immediately go for French kiss. Problem, it doesn't indicates at all if sex is coming.
A firm handshake typically works for me.
Meetings must be tough on your compatriots!
Vigorous thrusting “I think that meeting went really well! We closed the deal in record time.”
A massage
Back in my twenties I was visiting a friend. His roommate has a cute young lady visiting. We all got drunk. When the roommates went to their rooms to pass out it was just me and her. She said her back hurt and needed a massage. Being a drunk fool I said I was horrible at them especially when I was drunk. Three days later..."Ohhh...damnit!"
Post missed-out-on-a-nut clarity, right there.
Not quite the same, but in high school, I had a girl invite me to her house to smoke weed while her parents were out of town. She kept me in her room with the door locked, because her little sister was home, while she made us food. We ate sitting on her bed, and then laid on her bed for nearly 2 hours watching TV *with the door locked* before I decided to call my dad to pick me up. She avoided me at school the next day and moved to Miami a week later. Live and learn, I guess 🙃
I’m sure the Miami move was already planned but I also like that the way you wrote it could sound like because of what happened she decided she couldn’t stay there anymore and had to move away.
I think every dude has a story like this. They could flat out tell us “HEY I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU” and a good portion of us would still go “sex? Here? With me? You sure?”
I swear, the reason I ended up with my current partner was because I agreed to a one night stand (that never ended) because he offered me a back massage. I'm a sucker for a massage lmao
This happened to me with a friend. We were hanging out one night and she was complaining about her back hurting. I started giving her a massage and after a few minutes she mumbled out "You better stop, you're making me horny and I might have to do something about that." I thought she was joking. She was not.
I'm sure this whole sequence of events was completely innocent and unexpected for her as well. ^^sarcasm
>I'm sure this whole sequence of events was completely innocent and unexpected for her as well. She simply got a ladyboner, could happen to anyone
I invited a friend over to find out how the date I set her up on went. She lamented he was a little tall for her liking, preferred guys about my height. She mentioned having a sore neck and I asked her if she wanted me to try and massage it out. I'm.not sure how it happened, but within a few minutes we were completely naked and banging. It was definitely an eye opener; the massage is inherently one of the best non-sexual but incredibly intimate things you can do to someone. Running your fingers along the neck and behind her ears, yeah, totally didn't do that on purpose when I was massaging that shoulder
> preferred guys about my height Yeah so, like... as soon as she said this she was telling you she was into you. Just so you know. You don't come back from a date and tell someone you prefer _them_ unless you PREFER them.
Oh, I 100% picked up on it. I simply didn't expect it, and then our clothes were completely off shortly after. The height comment alone didn't allow me to, just, well, yknow, hit on her? I dunno, young hormones are weird. I just, yeah, never knew it could go about like that and definitely opened my eyes.
So it's not "Groundhog day" but "Groundhog night". The story of a never ending one night stand. In a theater near you this Thursday
That’s how it happens for 99% of married dads.
“Not every massage needs to lead to sex” - My wife Well what the hell am I supposed to do with this boner?
At this rate I’ll take it leading to sex just once
Oh man every time my husband rubs I almost get pregnant lol
That's talent!
https://imgur.com/gallery/u9ny23X
Lately I've been asking my husband if he wants sex when I want a massage. Backwards!
Cuddling usually produces a boner, and then there’s a strong desire to do something with that boner.
Spooning leads to forking
Forking leads to knifing
Knifing leads to sizzoring, in my imagination. EDIT: TIL "scizzors" has a random C in it.
Now I can't remember how to spell skissors Thanks a lot koolaid snorkeler
I see you've played Knifey-Spoony before.
Rubbing your hind legs together to make a chirping sound.
Then ripping his head off after 🤌🏼
I'm already hard from the *chirp* , you're just teasing me at this point 😩😩
Chirp dirty to me 🥵 🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷
I've never watched the movie Forrest Gump with a girl where we didn't end up fucking before the Vietnam sequence
Mental disability fetish is so hot right now
That Hansel is so autistic right now
HOTistic
A coworker once told me that Jurassic Park was the best movie to watch with a girl. When I asked why, his rationale was "Simple. Because even if you don't get laid, you get to watch Jurassic Park!".
There’s no arguing with this logic.
Sex is temporary, cinematic masterpieces are forever.
Clever girl Or guy in this case
In my mind, you have thought at least one time about yelling "oh jennay!" When she takes off her blouse/bra, but id still be impressed if you managed to sneak a forrest gump quote in there. Edit: im surprised that out of all the replies, nobody has said "something bit me!"
Horny is as horny does.
“you were making out during schindler’s list?!”
I started listing sex positions the same way Bubba lists shrimp dishes
Dick in mouth, dick the missionary position, dick from behind...
A scary movie before bed always makes her sleep a little closer. Closer leads to snuggling, snuggling to sex...
my go-to seduction technique in college was to invite a guy over and play Pokémon stadium minigames.
I came home from work one time and my gf was naked in a hammock then kicked my ass at Pokémon stadium. I don't know how someone could ever top that.
So… she was naked and you decided to play Pokémon?
yeah, foreplay is important lol
Very specific way to catch that golden retriever video game boyfriend who’s never at the club. You got this!
yep! i have been married to one for over ten years now 😂
My child going to spend the night elsewhere.
It’s crazy that as a child, I always had to ask permission to spend the night at a friends and promise to do something (get As, wash the car, volunteer, etc.). It was like I was being given a gift to be able to spend the night away from home. Little did I know . . . I was the one being played.
Yeah, you were not only giving them the privacy fir sex but also doing chores they'd need to do before sex, giving them the energy to have sex instead of just falling asleep early.
Mom says you can stay the night at Andy's, but you have to do your sex chores first!
Phrasing!
Fine... Andy, do your f$#&ing chores!
i wish i could give you an award for this one.
^you ^just ^did
The real awards are the ~~random faceless strangers~~ ^friends we met along the way.
Empty nuts and a clean car, now that’s winning
My kids are gone tonight and tmmrw. I’m about to tear momma’s ass up. Edit : well that comment was a mistake. Fucking Reddit lmao.
I see your doubling down on no more kids
I regret not serving my country, I think about it every time I go to war on your mommas ass.
What do you have planned for the other 47 hours 55m?
Most everyone is talking about it from the perspective of being in a relationship, but I think drinking alcohol is high up on the list for single people.
Drinking
My coworker always makes the joke about when she used to drink… “I don’t know why, but for some reason tequila always makes me pregnant.” Lol Edit* [tequila](https://imgur.com/gallery/UyvizAa)
An older lady at one of my first jobs told me, "you know what they say. tequila makes your panties fall off."
Love the saying- “I didn’t drunk text you. Tequila did.”
99% of the population is UNDATABLE! Oh yeah well how are all these people getting together? Alcohol.
Jerry summed pretty much everything about dating with this convo lol
Nuzzling while shaping wet clay into a vase on a clay wheel. Playing Unchained Melody in the background helps.
That’s how you get ghosted.
Foreplay.
It's been such a long time
I think I should be goin', yeah.
Time doesn't wait for me
deep talks
As someone who is very attracted to intellectual/emotional intimacy this is probably the best answer for me.
Balls deep
When you do that thing where you put your arm behind the passenger seat and look back to drive the car in reverse.
I think I get this reference! Also taking off your sweatshirt over your head in one fast and easy movement, right?
Double sploosh if he's wearing a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up his forearms. 🫦
Agreeing on the price.
Ikr? Everytime I buy I car I end up getting fucked by the salesman.
I just wish they would use lube first. And now I want to take a bottle of lube with me next time I buy a car. Then when they sit down with me to discuss price, I'll just get out the bottle and without saying a word, set it down on the salesman's desk.
Skillfully operating a forklift
Posting sexually themed questions on r/AskReddit is a surefire way to get yourself laid.
That’s all OP does 😂
Holy shit he drops like 10-15 sexual askreddit posts at a time. And honestly for how much he posts them his karma is terrible lol.
Sexers of Reddit, what’s the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexed?
I think movies with a lot of sexual tension help too!
Tickling while wrestling and tumbling all over each other then… oops how did that nip slip happen?! Uh oh… now he is accidentally suckling it. Aw hell… lets just go all out and do the damn thang.
Getting stuck in the washing machine according to my sources.
This and pizza deliveries
Reading these fucking comments
hiking and swimming
Showering. I would say that 80% happens immediately upon sharing a shower together.
I cast ⚡️*COLD SHOWER*⚡️
A properly executed hand-brake turn in an '87-'93 Ford Mustang with 5.0 engine.
What about a 3 point turn in a Saab after missing my turn?
Keep going, I'm almost there.
Sorry I passed it again
You stopped short with MY wife?!
Hamster that you?
Meeting someone that is mutually attracted to you.
play fighting
A game of shuffleboard or naked backgammon usually does it for me.
Naked Twister is my goto ice breaker.
Balls go to *spins wheel* Blue
Statistically, it's massages. All that intimate skin-to-skin contact. They have a higher "not-sex to sex" conversion rate of any activity short of something jokey like foreplay.
For me, snuggles. When my wife and I snuggle it's hard for me to keep my hands off of her lol. She's just so beautiful 😍
Spooning always leads to forking.
Why can't I say fork?
Holy forking shirtballs
Nipple sucking or neck licking
Agreed, but what should I do for her?
Comparing wiener sizes?
as long as the balls don’t touch
My buddy checks my prostate with his dick because I want to be proactive with my healthcare. I just close my eyes and say no homo over and over to reverse the gay polarity back to heterosexual.
It's Only Gay if you Kiss. Otherwise you are just helping a friend out. NOHOMO
The opposite of whatever I’m doing.
Trips to your mother's house.
Massage. Don’t trust a man who who wants to give you a massage
im one of those who massage because it concerns me when someones muscles are too tight
Deep knowledge of Warhammer 40k lore.
Usually making out. I remember I pissed off my girlfriend one night and it was pretty obvious there would be no sex. Gave her a kiss good night while gracing her face and her tongue in my mouth. Works 60% of the time every time.
MDMA
For us it’s back massages that turn into butt massages that turn into pussy massages. 😉😘
A good massage and kisses