my dog gets so happy every time I come home from school/friend's houses/the store. He gets the cutest smile and just wants his lil ears scratched. then I say "Wanna go to bed?" and he will run to my bedroom door and try to push it open
For some reason, my husband and I started saying "honk shoo time" when it was time for bed. Probably because we both snore like breeder hogs. Anyway, the dog learned it! We were joking around one evening, about 8pm, and said "Honk shoo time" and Pugsley got up and ran upstairs to his bed :) It was so cute!!!
I always say "Ready Freddy?" to literally anyone when I am waiting on them to go somewhere or do something. One day I said it when I went to unpause the TV show my husband and and I were watching and my dog popped up and ran to the top of the stairs like we were going somewhere.
That's how I learned that she thinks "Freddy" means "let's go" lol
Also, those like scalp massager things that are a bunch of wiry arms with little plastic bumps at the end that look almost like a big egg beater or something. That you (or preferably someone else) pushes down gently over your head and the arms expand and stroke your hair/scalp.
They’re always like $5 near the checkout at stores like Home Sense or Chapters or whatever and they are absolutely amazing.
I was strolling through the mall and a girl was selling these from a vendor stall. She tried it on my scalp, and I almost lost consciousness right there, on my feet. I was totally unprepared. It makes you wonder if chi and other kung fu magic might be a real thing.
I used to have a hairstylist that had this guy who would wash your hair and basically give you a head massage. You could have just had a nice 8 hours of sleep, 2 cups of coffee flowing and he’d make you feel drowsy.
He was awesome.
Being a culinary school dropout (lol horrible money) but still loving the craft, when you read something on a menu and you can truly see the chefs inspiration and where they are trying to go with it, and when it goes in your mouth it is everything you imagined. Happened to me maybe... 8-12 times.
First time I tried that thing I had just bought it with an ex gf in a packed mall. I must have looked like a girl with a vibrator in her panties in public. Had to package that thing back up and wait to get home. I'm a dude.
The first time I was ever exposed to it was at a mall kiosk in my teens, they had girls giving out 5 minutes scalp massages to try to sell them. I almost went weak in the knees. You bet I bought that shit and brought it home.
The first time I ever saw one of these, it was introduced to me as "the orgasmatron". For the longest time I thought everybody called them by this name
For me, I’ve been told it’s a weird one, but a hot shower on a cold rainy day, with the shower window open so i can feel the hot steam and cold crisp air hit my face
After getting a foot massage. I never gave a darn about my feet and then one day I had had a rough day and my bf is the kindest person ever and told me that he would spoil me. Among the things he did were massaging my feet (and no, nothing sexual there) and afterward it felt like my feet had wings. It was the best sensation ever and that day I realized that you can apparently store stress in your feet.
I’m a little late here, but let me tell you, foot rubs are immaculate.
The first time I got a real foot massage, my experience was similar to yours. My feet had wings! I try to rub my own feet, but it’s not the same.
You know that one time you heard a piece of music and it was so pleasurable it made you have goosebumps. It could be the whole song or just parts of the song and you have then heard the same song throughout your lifetime a thousand times but that one little part of the song or soundtrack you know it’s there and you wait for it, and wait for it, and wait for it and then BAM that part comes on and the same feeling hits you again like it did the first time you heard that piece of music!
I have this and it's a really subtle thing as well. What does the trick for me is a small bit in Renegade by Sander van Doorn at around 5:20 where a tambourine-like instrument is used for just second. Gives me goosebumps everytime and I don't know why.
About half way through Adele's Hello literally made me shiver the first time I heard it and it does it to me every time now. "Haaaallllo from the OTHER S-I\_I\_I\_I\_I\_D\_E"
And stretch! You ever just piss, shiver, and then contract your quads like a mofo while bending backwards, hands above your head? That shit feels ~nice~
There's a major nerve in there, or something. When I hit the right spot, I lose vision completely, and it feels orgasmic. It takes a few seconds for vision to come back.
True. I did it once and (because it was a cheapie) the cotton bud got stuck, and I had to have my ears flushed out by a doc.
Having the ears flushed out . . . now, THAT was an interesting sensation, and came the closest to pleasure + pain that I've ever felt.
My husband plays classical guitar so he has long nails.
They are fucking magical. They make music AND give spectacular back scratches? That's basically magic.
Back or scalp, with *just* enough pressure.
Too light feels like nothing or itches.
Too hard is better than too light but I can't enjoy it very long.
Just right gives pleasurable sensations that don't hurt for several minutes at least~~~
Taking off socks/leggings before getting into bed - the feeling of the covers on your legs is impeccable. I will just flap my legs around for a good few minutes.
Having a perfectly chilled drink when youre thirsty and warm.
Having someone else wash your hair (the head massage, the warm water, oof.
For those double jointed folks like me, when your back finally pops back into place. Its a little painful sometimes but the relief that washes over afterwards is bliss.
Marbles. Everything about them. The clack when they hit each other, how theyre cool to the touch. Rolling them around. They make my brain go brr.
Oof had one in 2018. It sucked ass. The stench that came out was awful. It wasn’t too painful for me, more like when a sensitive blister gets touched hard enough to feel pain but not enough to pop (had a blister at the bottom arch of my foot, stepped on a stair and felt a bust of pain).
stretching at 9 am in your english class. so specific. im gonna miss highschool chairs, bc that shit is toe curling, back arching and just so pleasurable. the way it makes your back crunch oh lord.
Feeling loved is a whole nother can of beans. I hope you'll be fine man. I'd give advice if I knew your situation but I don't. Hang in there, ending it all is a very bad idea as attractive as it may seem >.>
Having to hold in a piss for more than 30 minutes because "we're almost there and you can hold it"
And you bust open the bathroom door, don't even bother to close it, and proceed to toss the valve open on the hydrant until your bladder is completely deflated
I swear to God it actually makes my legs start to shake because it's so purely cathartic
Definitelly peeing(when things get critical). There is a saying where I come from - having a pee is like half of having sex, but peeing two times is not equal to having sex.
A head stroke on my girls lap.
But more exotic was when I was when I lived in Kyoto I went to Kurama Onsen, a hot spring on top of a mountain. Getting closer to the place dark clouds were coming in and I thought "omg.. Yes...". Got into the amazing hot water and 5 minutes later it started raining. Cold rain on my face with super hot water surrounding my body. Wonderful.
Working tirelessly in a garden and awaking to life, realizing we are one with life. Ever filling, ever emptying, like a whirlpool, neverending.
Such an otherworldly off
Having clean bed sheets the same day you washed your hair
And shaved my legs.
Oh, making a full house clean up, taking a nice long shower and then falling into newly changed bed, fantastic.
Pure bliss
Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with this one
Yes... But more like fresh sheets with newly shaved legs 😍
Being really sleepy and being in bed or on the sofa to enjoy it.
Finally stopping staring at reddit
But what if we're talking about you behind your back? Better check again...
This! I was sitting in the bathroom for 2hrs yesterday, reading stuff on reddit, until I realized how late it was.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
don’t sit too long, you’ll get hemorrhoids.
Wait, seriously? Don’t fuck with me on this, are you for real?
Deadass
How did your legs not go dead!! I sit for 10 minutes, and I feel like I need a Zimmer frame when standing!
Maybe your ass isn't as fat as mine. I sit on a pillow of fat🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
shower being the right temperature without adjusting.
And then someone else washing my hair.
Which is odd when you're living alone.
Counter: taking a cold shower when you feel uncomfortably hot
Also: stepping into a hot shower when you’re frozen cold. Hurts so good.
Be careful if you are truly that cold. Chilblains suck
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my dog gets so happy every time I come home from school/friend's houses/the store. He gets the cutest smile and just wants his lil ears scratched. then I say "Wanna go to bed?" and he will run to my bedroom door and try to push it open
For some reason, my husband and I started saying "honk shoo time" when it was time for bed. Probably because we both snore like breeder hogs. Anyway, the dog learned it! We were joking around one evening, about 8pm, and said "Honk shoo time" and Pugsley got up and ran upstairs to his bed :) It was so cute!!!
I always say "Ready Freddy?" to literally anyone when I am waiting on them to go somewhere or do something. One day I said it when I went to unpause the TV show my husband and and I were watching and my dog popped up and ran to the top of the stairs like we were going somewhere. That's how I learned that she thinks "Freddy" means "let's go" lol
He said "non sexual".
Wait a minute...
It's going to be longer than just a minute.
you guys are lasting a minute?
You guys last?
You guys?
You?
Yo
Y
r/holup
Having your hair (or scalp) stroked while resting your head on their lap.
The dog can confirm it
Also, those like scalp massager things that are a bunch of wiry arms with little plastic bumps at the end that look almost like a big egg beater or something. That you (or preferably someone else) pushes down gently over your head and the arms expand and stroke your hair/scalp. They’re always like $5 near the checkout at stores like Home Sense or Chapters or whatever and they are absolutely amazing.
It’s a mystery why automated versions don’t exist for single people.
*frantically patents great idea*
I was strolling through the mall and a girl was selling these from a vendor stall. She tried it on my scalp, and I almost lost consciousness right there, on my feet. I was totally unprepared. It makes you wonder if chi and other kung fu magic might be a real thing.
I used to have a hairstylist that had this guy who would wash your hair and basically give you a head massage. You could have just had a nice 8 hours of sleep, 2 cups of coffee flowing and he’d make you feel drowsy. He was awesome.
When I’m sick it’s all I want because my mom did it a lot when I was sick or in pain as a kid. It drives my husband crazy 😂
This. Exactly this.
Standing in a hot shower, leaning your head against the wall and completely relaxing your body (maybe even pee too lol).
I do this all the time it’s actually the best feeling
I was gunna say my thing but nevermind, here's an upvote
I still want to know what your thing was!
Being a culinary school dropout (lol horrible money) but still loving the craft, when you read something on a menu and you can truly see the chefs inspiration and where they are trying to go with it, and when it goes in your mouth it is everything you imagined. Happened to me maybe... 8-12 times.
Especially if you are really sweaty or dirty and you just feel all that grime being washed away. Especially after a long run.
Especially after a hard day or getting soaked in cold rain.
That multi-pronged metal head massager thing... you know what I'm talking about..
First time I tried that thing I had just bought it with an ex gf in a packed mall. I must have looked like a girl with a vibrator in her panties in public. Had to package that thing back up and wait to get home. I'm a dude.
The first time I was ever exposed to it was at a mall kiosk in my teens, they had girls giving out 5 minutes scalp massages to try to sell them. I almost went weak in the knees. You bet I bought that shit and brought it home.
The first time I ever saw one of these, it was introduced to me as "the orgasmatron". For the longest time I thought everybody called them by this name
For me, I’ve been told it’s a weird one, but a hot shower on a cold rainy day, with the shower window open so i can feel the hot steam and cold crisp air hit my face
What the hell this is like heaven
THANK YOU OH MY GOD SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
I NEED TO TRY THIS
Half the reason I can’t wait till October comes
Same, I'm already sick of summer
I cheated the system and went to Alaska for the summer.
Hey! That's cheating
You should try going in a hot tub in the winter. It's a similar sensation and so amazing.
Oh I’ve done it, I feel you. There was even a lightning storm above us (not safe I know but it was beautiful)
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That sounds amazing
A full body massage!
Head massage does the trick for me.
The one you get at the hairdresser. I figure that’s the closest I’ll get to understanding what cats feel
When your cat purs and you know they feel safe and loved.
I came here to say scalp massage.
Have to hold your pee for way too long…then peeing.
Eating G A R L I C B R E A D
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Yeah, but then you'd get fat.
No, why would I get fat?
Bread makes you fat.
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YES!! A MAN OF CULTURE!!
Y E S
After getting a foot massage. I never gave a darn about my feet and then one day I had had a rough day and my bf is the kindest person ever and told me that he would spoil me. Among the things he did were massaging my feet (and no, nothing sexual there) and afterward it felt like my feet had wings. It was the best sensation ever and that day I realized that you can apparently store stress in your feet.
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My condolences!
I’m a little late here, but let me tell you, foot rubs are immaculate. The first time I got a real foot massage, my experience was similar to yours. My feet had wings! I try to rub my own feet, but it’s not the same.
Right?!? I have tried massaging my own feet too, and it is not the same. You get about the same result as if you try and tickle yourself.
You know that one time you heard a piece of music and it was so pleasurable it made you have goosebumps. It could be the whole song or just parts of the song and you have then heard the same song throughout your lifetime a thousand times but that one little part of the song or soundtrack you know it’s there and you wait for it, and wait for it, and wait for it and then BAM that part comes on and the same feeling hits you again like it did the first time you heard that piece of music!
I have this and it's a really subtle thing as well. What does the trick for me is a small bit in Renegade by Sander van Doorn at around 5:20 where a tambourine-like instrument is used for just second. Gives me goosebumps everytime and I don't know why.
About half way through Adele's Hello literally made me shiver the first time I heard it and it does it to me every time now. "Haaaallllo from the OTHER S-I\_I\_I\_I\_I\_D\_E"
Emptying a full bladder.
Followed up by a nice piss shiver.
And stretch! You ever just piss, shiver, and then contract your quads like a mofo while bending backwards, hands above your head? That shit feels ~nice~
That's pretty good, but taking a really good shit is better.
I much prefer leaving them behind. I don't understand why seem to be wanting to retrieve a shit from a bathroom. How are any of them "good shits"?
You sell em
The feeling of cleaning the inside of your ears with a Q-tip.
It might as well be sex
Everything is sex
There's a major nerve in there, or something. When I hit the right spot, I lose vision completely, and it feels orgasmic. It takes a few seconds for vision to come back.
You shouldn't do it with a Q-tip.
True. I did it once and (because it was a cheapie) the cotton bud got stuck, and I had to have my ears flushed out by a doc. Having the ears flushed out . . . now, THAT was an interesting sensation, and came the closest to pleasure + pain that I've ever felt.
The vacuum thing they do is strange. I feel like I can hear colors afterwards, but the actual act almost feels good but almost hurts at the same time.
Ahh yessss eargasm 👂❤️😄
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This is how to perform a factory reset on us.
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Quite precisely.. We funny asf doe. :>
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I like to get just a barely on the surface scratchies first. Almost a tickle. And then a deep scratch after. I get goosebumps just thinking of it.
Can confirm
Love it as a girl too, my mom used to wake me up in the morning by scratching my back 😭
Uh, yes please.
My husband plays classical guitar so he has long nails. They are fucking magical. They make music AND give spectacular back scratches? That's basically magic.
Think this applies to woman as well. Just many men don’t have the right nails for it.
Back or scalp, with *just* enough pressure. Too light feels like nothing or itches. Too hard is better than too light but I can't enjoy it very long. Just right gives pleasurable sensations that don't hurt for several minutes at least~~~
Rubbing your itchy eye.
Feels nice in the moment but then it gets more itchy
My girlfriend has hay-fever. Scratching itchy eyes is hell for her.
Same, summer months are like hell
Waking up and knowing you have the day off & just Sink right back into a deep blissful sleep
Fresh sheets and PJs, straight out of the shower. Bonus points for recently shaved legs (if that’s your thing)
The other day I did a 14 hour shift and got a burrito afterwards. So probably scarfing down straight carbs when you're super hungry
Air conditioning. (Florida, need I say more?)
Waking up thinking its Monday, only to find out it is Sunday
Knowing you've helped another human being in a meaningful way that they appreciate.
Taking off socks/leggings before getting into bed - the feeling of the covers on your legs is impeccable. I will just flap my legs around for a good few minutes. Having a perfectly chilled drink when youre thirsty and warm. Having someone else wash your hair (the head massage, the warm water, oof. For those double jointed folks like me, when your back finally pops back into place. Its a little painful sometimes but the relief that washes over afterwards is bliss. Marbles. Everything about them. The clack when they hit each other, how theyre cool to the touch. Rolling them around. They make my brain go brr.
Clean sheets and freshly shaved legs. I am a man.
Scratching that hard to get itch and when you do it’s just Aaaah!
Popping your ear
A truly profound, from-the-guts fart.
Mine is scratching that itch you sometimes get under tailbone top of ass crack while wiping Making my eyes roll back and shit
I always get paranoid of a pilonidal cyst after a good scratch there. I hear that shit is a nightmare fuel of a situation
Oof had one in 2018. It sucked ass. The stench that came out was awful. It wasn’t too painful for me, more like when a sensitive blister gets touched hard enough to feel pain but not enough to pop (had a blister at the bottom arch of my foot, stepped on a stair and felt a bust of pain).
Fuck yes
Bro wat
Payday
financial security
When a cat snuggles up in your lap
Back scratches and hair playing
Getting compliments.
When the hair cut person cuts just the right spot and scratches a itch you did not even know you have
Clean low remnants, completely intact, fast, minimal paper needed poop 💩
This is for all the men out there you will understand: Going to the toilet for a piss when you first wake up and you get the shiver
Morning ritual, brrrrrr
Facing a fear and succeeding.
Watching your enemy have difficulty in life. It’s so fucking good.
stretching at 9 am in your english class. so specific. im gonna miss highschool chairs, bc that shit is toe curling, back arching and just so pleasurable. the way it makes your back crunch oh lord.
The way things have been for me, actually looking forward to the next day instead of hoping I never wake up or get hit by a bus. I might be okay now
Taking off shoes and socks after a full day working on your feet. Pure Heaven.
Thinking I’m going to almost sneeze but not quite able to (the worst) then having the largest sneeze ever!
Taking a pee after holding it in. It feels like you're draining your whole body.
Making a good ass grilled cheese
Finally getting in the exact right position you need to sleep and not needing to pee
digging your ears with a cotton bud right after a shower
Stop that shit bro! I clogged up my ears, had them syringed and got tinnitus from that. You don't want that shit ever, trust me
Use hydrogen peroxide!
When you had to hold in a huge shit and can finally sit down on the toilet and let it all out.
Falling in love
Falling in love honestly just annoys me. I always subconsciously go "ah shit, here we go again".
I haven't felt loved in months, I perpetually feel like a ghost to everyone. I'm at the point in my life again where I just want to end it all
In all seriousness, I hope you can find someone to talk to and can begin feeling better. Be kind to yourself, you are worth it.
Feeling loved is a whole nother can of beans. I hope you'll be fine man. I'd give advice if I knew your situation but I don't. Hang in there, ending it all is a very bad idea as attractive as it may seem >.>
Eating my grandma’s tamales
Scalp massage
Drinking water when U are dying of thirst
Post meal euphoria after eating something luscious
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Finally peeing after holding it for hours.
Honestly, smoking weed and then having a big stretch sesh, especially if you're already very sore
Laying butt naked spread eagle with a fan blowing sweet fairy kisses across my cock and taters
Cleaning your ear with a cotton bud/q tip. God tier non sexual orgasm.
Finding money in your pockets during laundry
Fresh bed sheet/linens, pillow cases 🥰
Having to hold in a piss for more than 30 minutes because "we're almost there and you can hold it" And you bust open the bathroom door, don't even bother to close it, and proceed to toss the valve open on the hydrant until your bladder is completely deflated I swear to God it actually makes my legs start to shake because it's so purely cathartic
New socks
Peeing after going swimming in cold water.
Definitelly peeing(when things get critical). There is a saying where I come from - having a pee is like half of having sex, but peeing two times is not equal to having sex.
sunlight on the skin. i feel like i can photosynthesize sitting there getting warm hug from the sun
Warm sand on your feet
Eye contact
plugging the usb in the right way first try
When you almost die because a big bite is slowly making it's way down to your stomach so you help it out with some water.
Smoking a J after a hard day of work. Throw on some Planet Earth and devour a tub of ice cream.
When you step outside on the first warm day of spring and feel the sun's rays on your skin for the first time in 6 months.
Cleaning your ears
A head stroke on my girls lap. But more exotic was when I was when I lived in Kyoto I went to Kurama Onsen, a hot spring on top of a mountain. Getting closer to the place dark clouds were coming in and I thought "omg.. Yes...". Got into the amazing hot water and 5 minutes later it started raining. Cold rain on my face with super hot water surrounding my body. Wonderful.
Cocaine
Sneezing several times in quick succession.
Working tirelessly in a garden and awaking to life, realizing we are one with life. Ever filling, ever emptying, like a whirlpool, neverending. Such an otherworldly off
ASMR
Smelling fresh lavender
A satisfying meal
Hitting the inner ear itch with a cotton bud 🤤
Peeing after holding it alot in traffic
Back scratch
A head massage while getting your hair washed in hot water. I've literally fallen asleep while people do that to my head. It's so incredibly relaxing.
Cleaning my ears