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too-many-pancakes

Drummer in a shitty band


Odd_Description1

Is there room for a second drummer in your shitty band? I'll even settle for being like the guy in Slipknot who just hits a keg with a bat.


too-many-pancakes

Oh totally, you're in. Beats in our songs would be unreal


dragonship

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the instructions into the drum machine once.


Cloudy_Worker

Who is someone that likes to hang out with musicians? A drummer


too-many-pancakes

How do you tell if a drummer is at the door? The knocking speeds up


medicff

How do you know if there’s a singer at your door? They can’t find the key and don’t know where to come in. How do you know the stage is level? The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth. What’s the difference between a bass guitar and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bass guitar


I_used_to_be_hip

What was the last thing the drummer said before he was kicked out of the band? "Wanna hear the song I wrote?"


[deleted]

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.


Zoomulator

A: Why do bands have bass players? A: To translate for the drummer.


InfernalAltar

Drummer approved


Just_Replacement3989

I would enjoy that


[deleted]

[удалено]


Just_Replacement3989

I would like to do that in a small neighborhood in the woods


Thor4269

Small scale farmer essentially since you'd be paid for it


velveteentuzhi

Man, if I had unlimited money, I'd love to look into setting up community gardens (esp in lower income areas). The only thing better than having two days free to just play around with soil is having other people with you doing their own gardening too


wildwildwaste

I'm fortunate enough to do a job I like and make enough to allow my wife to choose a profession without concern of money. She's working at a one acre city farm that runs a "pay what you can" farmstand and donates about 95% of what doesn't sell there to other local charities, including a restaurant called A Place At The Table that let's you pay what you can, pay for yours plus one, or do volunteer work at the restaurant (clean tables, wait tables, wash dishes, etc) to pay for your food. It's amazing really what people would get up to if they didn't have to worry about the basic income required to live. Almost like some sort of program to universally provide a basic income to all US citizens would be helpful?


volgmast

i would want to be a florist


Ok_Technology_1294

That would be lovely. Surrounded by beauty that you make even more beautiful.


lysergic_818

Run Florist, Run!


Exactly32Penguins

Is eccentric rich layabout a profession?


chemispe

Hedonist


Exactly32Penguins

Yes


chemispe

Right there with you


beakrake

I was going to say philanthropist, but now I'd like to change my answer.


[deleted]

I love the term layabout. I’m going on vacation next week and when people ask me what I’m going to do…I’ll tell them that I’ll be a layabout all next week and unavailable


gamechanger112

Add a camera and that's half of instagram stars


whywasthatagoodidea

If you go to expensive parties its called a philanthropist.


youtocin

"Socialite"


smurferdigg

Isn't that what that dude from home alone is doing? Think he refers to himself as a "man of leisure". Must be nice to be set for life from a young age and just do whatever.


Tarnagona

Field linguist, studying, documenting, and preserving endangered languages. That’s why I spent years getting my PhD in linguistics. Unfortunately, there’s not really any jobs in field linguistics outside of academia, which is incredibly competitive, and there’s limited grant money, to boot. But I’d love to work with interested communities and speakers, and be able to say, hey no need to worry about where you’re getting the money for that.


reptilhart

Did you see this? It's a VR game about a endangered language in Nepal. I thought it was such an awesome way to bring awareness to that culture. https://www.viveport.com/6deaafe8-356a-46f5-9ada-3b1e1cb285db


Tarnagona

DAMN, that’s neat! That makes me really happy (the video game, not the state of their language)


jem282

I have a Bachelor's degree in linguistics. I absolutely love the field, I had the best time learning and doing research. But since money is an object, I'm an engineer now. Still fulfilling, and I like my job. But if I had more time to myself I would dive right back into linguistics.


girl_from_away

Underwater archaeology


Old-Slide9317

I had a professor in college who did this. She had some fascinating stories.


spliffs687

Did she find Atlantis?


unnati_reddy

Not yet, I hear its 'filled' with wonders


friendlyMissAnthrope

If you haven’t heard it already, highly recommend listening to the Nat Geo Overheard podcast episode “Scuba Diving in a Pyramid” as well as “Cave of the Jaguar God” Edit to add the episode “The Gateway to Secret Underwater Worlds”


Just_Replacement3989

That sounds cool


TheArcheoPhilomath

Underwater is competitive for sure. However, academia less competitive and would be the academic wage (much better than the commercial wage of regular archaeology that I'm in, haha). Alternatively, I've know a few people who use their skills to work with us archaeologists outside their careers. Like I met an engineer who was helping with geophysical archaeologists in detecting shipwrecks in this particular region. So if you can find away to volunteer go for it, it will also put you in good stead if you are ever at a point you can and want switch careers as you'll have the network. I know a few people who have done this. 😎 Honestly a worthwhile route of you have the passion. I'd got suckered in with my passion and now barely survive day to day (as I shovel day to day) on my commercial archaeology wage. But i know many who found alternative routes into the field, not just the shit payed commercial field, but also academic. So don't let you're dreams die. Hope that makes sense, just recovering from being ill and also very drunk. Edit: side note, if you want to do academia. Southampton has a fantastic underwater archaeology masters - know many who have done it and gone through many career paths


Hey_look_new

check out the David gibbins books he's a legit underwater archeologist, and the books are very much Indiana Jones meets MacGyver adventures lots of fun


rivka_whitedemon

Cottage dweller and personal chef for myself.


twwwy

MY MAN! I myself don't also dream of labour.


olderthanbefore

Yes, but also With two cats. Hopefully they get along


Ungreat

I'd be an art guy. Not make art but be the dude who finances artists, opens a local gallery, gives money towards fostering local theatre and film talent. Basically try to turn the area in which I live into a creative hub.


friendlyMissAnthrope

Wonderful quote on the wall of Seattle’s Museum of Museums “There is no version of a great city with a declining artist population”


[deleted]

I expected to see artist as one of the top comments but it’s so cool to see art patron in here too!


Melissa-Crown

Hosting and teaching Dungeons and Dragons games. Would be nice to have the ability to learn all the books cover-to-cover and use that info 4+ days a week as a job.


Gentleman-Bird

I’ve heard that professional DMs are a thing. I’d be surprised if you could make a living off that though.


The_Middler_is_Here

My friend runs a game for $100 a session. It's only weekly so it isn't a ton of money, but it does provide him with some extra cash. He tells me they're all rich kids though so I'm not sure if that's a going rate. Hell of a DM though.


Efficient-Library792

As ive heard/read they post game descriptions and the players between them come up with like $20 an hr or whatever to pay them


JeveStones

Yeah but make a living off that? Is there really demand to 40 hours a week? Sounds like a sick side gig tho


[deleted]

Writer/Director


Old-Bedroom8464

I have/had several friends that do/did that. I have a buddy that was a writer on News Radio. I have a friend that runs Bloomberg in Bulgaria. He also has several director credits for B movies you've definitely heard of. I have another friend who produces a huge show in NYC. Bottom line- They are absolute workaholics. Like 7 days a week, no time off. Yes they make tons of money, but missed most of their kid's childhood travelling and working. Not for me, I'm not a workaholic at all.


Just_Replacement3989

I thought about that for real, but it's a though industry and I'm not that good. No problem, I'm pretty good at my real job


Bunney26

Permanent Student. I want to learn how to do everything!


lasagneisthebest

Jep, learning is great. But I wouldn't get a degree in anything as I hate writing. Writing my master Thesis was torture...


MrPoletski

Would also keep your brain in tip top order right until the end.


PapyNeko

I bet you're Swedish


lasagneisthebest

Near miss. German. But why?


bigredmachine-75

I think it was the "Jep".


lasagneisthebest

Ahh, seems legit


Spaceistt

that's a very finn thing to say


Inzire

Hey I say that, and I'm Danish. Swedish people don't say "jep" they normally makes noises that suggests mental illness.


bluekatt24

My brother is basically doing that he got his bachelor's and 2 masters and now he's getting a 3rd masters


Epsilon497

How does he finance all that?


bluekatt24

Military paying for it Edit: he's taking advantage of it before he no longer can use the benefits since he left the marines, so he's trying to study as much as he can for now


Epsilon497

I see. I didn't know the USMC benefits were that good


phatdaddy_bootymagic

I don’t understand this. I used my benefits and was able to get a bachelors degree. They give you a certain amount of “training days” that cover each semester, I only had enough to get one degree, not sure how they pulled that off.


yuimiop

I got my bachelors fully paid for through military tuition assistance. I still have 36 months of post 9/11 bill so I could probably fit in 2 masters and another bachelors if I lined the requirements up well. There are also some schools where you pay per semester and can take as many classes as you want. You can cram a lot of credit hours into a semester if you're willing to put in the work. I believe the post 9/11 also pays for tests that don't count towards your total amount so you could test out of some courses at some schools.


TheReal-Chris

Especially without the pressure to actually be the best and not fail. Just learn. And do.


GusPolinskiPolka

Yes this is it for me. Being able to study and not worry about the actual result, but have it structured etc. - the dream. I’d still try, I just wouldn’t stress that a less good mark will impact my career or opportunities. I’d not feel the need to be competitive. I’d just cruise in and out and have a good time!


Prestigious_Lock1659

Stay at home dad, so I can spend more time with my son.


rotatingruhnama

I stay home while my husband works outside the home, and in my perfect world we could both stay home. Just hang out, all three of us.


Prestigious_Lock1659

That is the dream. To have everyone home at the same time goofing around. I look forward to the weekends, the three of us chill out in bed in the morning watching either toy story or minions. It’s great.


SCRIVVVY

That’s like my dream. Hoping I make less money than who I’m put with


Prestigious_Lock1659

Well, it said if money isn’t an issue. So I took that as my partner and I would have enough money to make it work. It would be the perfect life for me though.


Lady-Hood

I just want to be that helping hand for the day for everyone. -You need help moving today? Say no more. -Middle of the night car broke down? I'll be right over. -Need a plus 1 to avoid any awkward 3rd wheel situation. Hi nice to meet you I'm so and so's friend of awhile now. -alarming amount of smoke in the distance nearby? Better go check everythings alright I only realized this one day when someone's lost dog approached me one morning while cleaning out my car. Decided to leash the dog and follow it around. It led me to a house. Knock on the door to ask questions and get nothing. I start leaving and his dog follows us. Find out it wasn't his and now I have 2 lost dogs to find the homes of. Thankfully. This 2nd dog I was led to had a collar. So I leash the other one as well and bring them to the address. Find out the 1 dog is just a neighbor dog and good friends with them. Owner of the second dog pointed me to the other house. And when I get there I see a child looking real sad and a dad putting a look alike dog in the car as he turns around and sees me with his pet and that sigh of relief of not having to look around the city for them. Was a great morning on a day off work and it made me realize that side quests in real life are my thing. Edit. Y'all are amazing people and I hope that you do good at whatever you wanna succeed at.


TheProfessorBE

Yes, same here. I'm decently good ad many things. Not excellent, just decent. Helping out is what makes me truly happy. Especially people who cannot or don't knoe where to get help. One thing I am really good at is dogs. Helping people with their dogs in and around town gives me joy. Did it professionally ten years ago, but I did not enjoy that. Too high expectations, and no willingness to change.


adreeanah

i loved the “side quests in real life” and i totally agree. kindness and giving help are among my favourite things to practice, i often thought if i had the money i would help literally everyone in need, and if not in need i would just buy lots of gifts


[deleted]

So, IRL Superhero.


thedartman

Regularhero


MaximumZer0

"What's the difference?" "PRESENTATION!"


Linguistin229

I would love this too!


coolishmom

I would absolutely love this also! I was trying to think of what I would want to do for this thread and couldn't come up with anything. I would love to tag along on grocery runs or help a friend weed a garden or paint a room. Side missions are my thing, too


maxzum

If i could, i would have awarded this comment with a gold. Keep this spirit, Lady-Hood.


CapaxInfini

Animal shelter volunteer


KingBrunoIII

Or you could create your own shelter. Have however many animals you like


therealbabygroot

I did that for my community service in high school. I miss it. They were some of the sweetest dogs I've ever met


Stay-Thirsty

Tracking down people who scam old people out of money and bringing (legal) justice and restitution.


[deleted]

Jimmy, when you were working on Sandpiper, no one could touch you, you were on fire!


grannygumjobs23

I'm not ready for the last episode. Went by too quick.


robindabank13

So, kitboga but vigilante kitboga?


Stay-Thirsty

Thinking Jim Browning, but more of him, deeper pockets and the ability to go inside/infiltrate an organization to help take it down. Like private sector specialists that can work with law enforcement. I haven’t watched kitboga.


topdogboz99

I bring them to more than legal justice


Stay-Thirsty

Excellent, you’re my first hire for the shadow ops team for those who evade justice.


Ancient_Wisdom_Yall

Pro Golfer. I'd be shanking balls in the best courses in the world.


Just_Replacement3989

Damn, are you good?


Ancient_Wisdom_Yall

Not at all.


topdogboz99

Even better


[deleted]

You should check out a movie that just came out called Phantom of the Open 😊


Phuturenoize25

Saving stray dogs and giving them a beautifull home


WaywardCosmonaut

I deadass would be happy making spreadsheets for people. I do it when I’m bored, just come up with a random thing to make a spreadsheet for and I use them frequently in my day to day. I know that in some jobs making spreadsheets is *part* of the job tasks but I’m talking like, full time job is just making spreadsheets. Don’t care what for.


Smiler_Sal

When I was pregnant with my first child, my obstetrician suggested I think about my plans for the birth so we could discuss next appointment. I went into an excel frenzy and created sheets and columns for everything imaginable. The master covered everything we needed (stuff for the nursery, baby clothes, pram, car seat…) and things we needed to plan (emergency bag for hospital, childcare….). I took the worksheet I created for the birth (music, snacks, clothing…) to the next appointment. He gently advised me that I was being a little over prepared and suggested that I “chill” and enjoy the pregnancy.


roseandbobamilktea

Yup was gonna say something like this. Some low-stress lightly social position where I can occasionally do crosswords or listen to podcasts. Repetitive work makes my brain happy. Especially without the pressure of being fired. My current job pays the big bucks but it’s so stressful and requires lots of quick, critical thinking. The money is nice but I just want to sort legos by color all day instead.


robindabank13

I LOVE making spreadsheets. My current job requires lots of them which I like, but I could do them all day and love it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FuckYouZave

That's a great way to kill a passion. I loved working on cars until I did it for a job. It just because painful after that. The fact I was forced to do it was the turning point.


pyro5050

same with computer work. i got my certs and such and worked on repair, building, troubleshooting, and networking... i lasted 6 months before i realized i was killing myself and my passions. it took 10 years before i somewhat got back into computers.


Romeo9594

Join us over at r/Notion. It's like spreadsheets but even more features and control (and time suck) I have one database that has a list of all the recipes we like to make and the ingredients they need Then I do an "audit" of the kitchen, select what we have on hand and when I populate the menu for the week it automatically makes a shopping list of just the missing things And it works backwards, where it can show me what's available to make given the stuff on hand Edit: Here it is for those curious. Duplicate the page, read the how it works, and add your own recipes (though there are a lot in there already) https://www.notion.so/Cooking-1-9e0c8b9d1c86488582c41d5e49411c57


SidBream92

Politician. I’m not a scum bag and now can’t be bribed. That’s pretty good qualifications for a Senator.


Jermcutsiron

Since you can't be bribed you'd be run outta DC or your state's capitol PDQ


mayormacchi

>That's a pretty easy way to get shot Ftfy


PajamaPants4Life

Retiree.


tonylark79

Treasure hunter/Archeologist. Basically Indiana Jones without the snakes nazis.


themexicanotaco

My brain did a funny and read that last bit as snake nazis


Some_person203

Librarian


stratomus

Knew my actual job would be on here.


[deleted]

Am librarian. Would still be a librarian, just running my own weird, eclectic libraries with whatever I want to hoard (and sometimes lend out).


seacucumber212

Woodworker or pottery maker


Fit_College_9191

If money was no issue, a job is the last thing I would be doing.


DVeagle74

Definitely at least not working for someone else.


DominosQualityCheck

What would you do with your time?


Julexis_

I'd be a zoologist


dravik

Professional student. There's so much to know in so many fields. It's impossible to learn it all.


PaintedLady5519

Forest witch


AltSpRkBunny

Hello fellow witchy lady. I’m more of a holler witch myself. It’s how I plan to live my life after outliving my husband, lol. Tell ya what, let me hang out in your library, and I’ll trade you some herbs.


fireonavan

You really sparked my curiosity. Tell me more


PaintedLady5519

I would live quietly in a cabin in the woods. My cabin has a massive library (underground) and I know many things and dispense my knowledge to those who seek it. Also, the forest animals know and love me.


MettatonNeo1

I want this as well


krispyboiz

Foley Artist. I know there's a lot of training and work that goes into it of course, but it genuinely sounds extremely fun. Definitely my dream job.


Screen_hider

I had to google it: > A Foley artist is a person who re-creates sounds for film, video, and other media in post-production to enhance audio quality. They replace sounds that cannot properly be recorded on set. Foley studios have viewing screens, and props, as well as recording equipment to record sounds as they watch the film. I always thought that a fun job would be making sound effects. I saw a show about it once, and was like... Huh. That was just someone chopping a lettuce with a cleaver....


LadyLovesRoses

My son does this in Burbank, CA and he loves it!


Nutsnboldt

Self employed snack tester.


bignickydigger

Professional procrastinator


Just_Replacement3989

If you ask my boss, that's my job


OrionGlacio

Eh, I’ll do it later in my career


4tehlulzez

Specialist alternative: Senior "Whatever the hell I feel like today" engineer


[deleted]

Artist


2tonefly

A musician


PM_ME_COOL_RIFFS

If money wasnt an issue I wouldnt work at all


liteshadow4

I think the point of the post is saying the salary for working the job will be good, not that you’re set and then you work


DanimalHouse

Well we know there wouldn’t be any janitors because nobody would want to clean shit all day for a living!


eclecticsed

While I can't say anything for bathrooms, I briefly worked as a janitor in college, and it was actually really relaxing! I cleaned office suites at night, and I could listen to my own music and just do my thing. I like working methodically, so it was perfect for me. I think there would definitely be people who still went for careers like that. I also remember reading about someone who said they just wanted to go around parks with one of those grabby sticks and pick up trash all day for a living.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Movie reviews


SlightlyIncandescent

Homesteading style lifestyle I think. I'd love to get up, walk the dog and work out. Then grow food/brew my own drinks, DIY projects around the house etc. and relaxing/gaming in the evening.


ZiggyStardustEP

Historian


blondechinesehair

Organizing shelves at a supermarket


[deleted]

What's the profession thats just a guy that feeds stray dogs and cats a bunch of food everyday? That.


iamkeeeng

Cartoonist, would love to pursue the dream full time.... I wanted to do it since I was 9 and always held out cause I did not think I was good enough. I started after I was suicidal and it truly helped me get my life back on track. I hope to keep doing more and more, eventually when my kid moves out I will be in a shack living off readers hopefully doing what I love!


DerpingtonHerpsworth

I would finally write all the novels, short stories, and poetry that have been rolling around in my head for years. Possibly also start up a comedy band.


Rose_Starr

I would be an author :) A full-time one, with the ability to travel the world.


yabai39

Programmer I just like my job


swordsmanluke2

Mostly same... But If I didn't have to have a day job, I'd be programming just my own projects. * Tiny tetris implementation * wearable pc improvements * AI based automated Lego sorter * serverless feature flagging service ... And that's just the past quarter's distractions


Feeling_Excitement90

Podcaster/ flipping furniture


wimpyadhesive

Couch potato


Just_Replacement3989

Sounds good where do I sign?


wimpyadhesive

Netflix.com


ComfortableBedroom78

Teacher and weekend travel writer.


Just_Replacement3989

The combo


jaclkie

Traveler and human history student.


ImportantTrain3651

Musician and music producer.


prettysouthernchick

Owner of a coffee shop.


Tommy_Crash

Cannabis tester


Just_Replacement3989

I do that as an hobby


jojothehodler

Ok then. Here are 267 types of plants. Please fill the 20 page form for each of them. Also, keep track of your progress in this program made for management and project-tracking. Tomorrow there will be no testing, it's just a 6 hours long meeting with all testers to communicate on findings about how to enhance productivity. Next week you will host a seminar for 5 days to teach the interns about our internal tools.


BKStephens

>Tomorrow there will be no testing, it's just a 6 hours long meeting with all testers to communicate on findings about how to enhance productivity. Will there be snacks?


jojothehodler

Coffee from the lounge (taste like shit, I know) And some dry crackers. Veeeeery dry !


polywha

I would travel all around the world painting beautiful places and drawing people as they told me their stories.


Leucippus1

Up until a few months ago I would have said High School English teacher, but the problems in education right now are about more than just money.


QuietGoliath

2+ star Michelin Chef tester.


schmoob

I'd focus on being a mom. And then return to an assisted living profession that pays pennies for literally helping people be able to live functioning lives.


[deleted]

Do you have an issue with trolls on Reddit? I present to you, the Internet Insulter! With my knowledge of the English language, you're one tap away from anyone on the Internet getting roasted hotter than a burger on the fourth of July! But wait, there's more! Are the insults no longer effective at keeping those angry comments at bay? With the exclusive package comes a free, all parts included Tiger I with a mounted 8.8 cm KwK 36 gun and professional driver! They can't be mean if they're dead!


SofieLovesBooks

Reading books


Impossible_Risk_6216

Assassin, I\`ll kill rapist and murderers


Hugexx

I think the biggest issue with that is the law, more than having money...


Common-Adhesiveness6

Vigilante**


[deleted]

Like Dexter Morgan?


[deleted]

I would make sure everyone in this world lives in a home, receive health care and access to education.


KentuckyFriedEel

Artist


LogicalPsychonaut84

Psychedelic therapist/guide. If I had the money I would love to own my own retreat.


Judyous

Biologist!!! Without a doubt. I wanted to be a vet since a was five and then when I grew up I learned what a biologist was and I wanted so bad to be that!! Inclining myself to a marine path. All that went to the garbage when I was in 10 grade and my father started telling me I should study medicine and that Biology didn't have many works in my country so I'll end up bein "just a high school profesor" and I'll "waste my potential". I hated medicine and I only stayed one semester. In ended up with a career I hate (business) because other kind of circumstances. Next January I'll start Law school. It's not where I wanted to be, but is something I guess. If I could I wouldn't listen to my dad and study what I always wanted, but well, we can't do much about that now.


Shan-Chat

Adventurer...but one that adventures in comfort.


Hellfire81Ger

I would have an animal shelter.


Neil_Merathyr

Professional student. I'd spend the rest of my life learning as many languages, study as much history and learn to operate as many vehicles as I could. There are also many other activities (like scuba diving and fencing) that I really want to learn but don't have the time and/or money.


pulffers

Symphony French Hornist


EverLastingAss

professional money waster.


DyslexicDarryl

Professional parent


Ok_Wind2098

Archaeologists


topdogboz99

Teacher i just wont be one because of it is alot of work but not enough bank and people wjo do it need to earn a lot more for what kind people most of them are


ottpro

Id love to be the owner of a NASCAR team. Or just someone high ranked to be able to hang around the garage, the track, the pits and chat up the whole team, make dumb suggestions, and learn


runic_presidence

A volunteer for homeless shelters, healthcare providers for those with insufficient funds, or in areas where healthcare is not easily accessible.


nobodywithanotepad

Student


OhJeezItsCorrine

Stand up comedian.