T O P

  • By -

Veefy

On top of the Elephants foot beneath the Chernobyl power plant.


Tarogato

This was mine. But I think just the room itself even pre-accident would suffice. The nuclear power plant club has got to be pretty damned exclusive.


duaneap

It’s exclusive but they’ve got a lot of chemistry.


the_mighty_skeetadon

Not to mention that any woman in the room looks positively radiant


esadatari

They're practically glowing, I tell ya!


Amicdeep

And they're probably already experts at getting physicsal


lettuce_leave13

I had a friend in college who interned at a nuclear power plant and while he was there a bunch of people got fired for soliciting sex on the premises. Apparently a woman who worked there was letting her colleagues have sex with her to make some money on the side. To be fair - this nuclear plant was still under construction and not operational at the time.


SirFancythe2nd

It glows for her pleasure, also don’t need to worry about protection.


cRIPtoCITY

Who needs glow in the dark condoms when you could have glow in the dark wang.


Ok_Scene_1799

inside an industrial shredder


-whostolemyusername-

“…to shreds you say?”


MacroPhallus

How's the wife?


Deanology_

To shreds you say? Tut tut tut


[deleted]

“Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague Dr. Mubutu…” “Was his apartment rent controlled?”


Sunny-Ln

In a pineapple under the sea


Chemical_Wing_6969

What do you mean spongebob is always getting laid


Staav

Her cheeks weren't always Sandy amirite. They'd just need one helmet at least in Bob's bedroom for Sandy to keep breathing.


Samdamnit

Uranus


kickasstimus

I'm sorry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all. It’s now called Urectum.


lawspud

One of my favorite stupid jokes from futurama. Thank you.


tastysharts

the only show I can watch from the other room and crack up


SnooBananas915

Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, I throw and episode on, immediately happy


DocWilly84

Unless it's one of THOSE episodes.


Korashy

Seymore still waiting...


L8n1ght

this also came to my mind immediately


SMFCAU

*Incorrect!*


theforlornknight

Myanus?


Mkailln

Ouranus


HorniVirgin

r/suddenlycommunist


IAmAnEgg69

you know the person who invented the fake "X" button in mobile game ads? his bed


doorang

Dont know about that... He fucked alot of people over.


tanzmeister

This ain't monogamy y'all getting fucked


Sip2muchdrank

Jumpin' on what the hell is that? I gotta relax when I feel


ploozia

And the guy who came up with fake transparent photos.


LinuxLover3113

Jesus man. It takes extra effort to add a fake checkboard over just an alpha layer. There's some level of spite mixed in there too.


LegendOrca

It's literally easier to post a blank png, so absurd


TheAndroidGillo

So i go to eastern europe alot and im currently here in macedonia right now seeing friends and i met one dude through them who makes those shitty mobile games for some Canadian company and can confirm this


-Dirty-Wizard-

The sun


[deleted]

Did you mom there


-Dirty-Wizard-

My mom could no did there. Too hot.


[deleted]

It was night at the time


tywhy87

Ah, so the sun had gone down? 😏


SirSukkaAlot

Not the only thing that went down 😏


Whittlinman

Sunnilingus


birracerveza

love me some sussy


Chewbock

She sucked the Sol right outta him


ZippityZerpDerp

This entire thread is fucking primo


VortrexFTW

Maybe your mom is the reason it's hot


[deleted]

Because she has so much mass it collapsed in on itself due to gravity causing a nuclear fusion reaction that created the Sun? Sick burn


Veefy

Bottom of Marianas Trench


Indiscriminate_Love

Murmaider, murmaider


puuro00

Knives? Check. Rope? Check. Dagger? Check. Chains? Check. Locks? Check Laser beams? Check. Acid? Check. Body bag? Check.


tyrom22

But beware For when you quench your blood thirst Others will seek vengeance on you And they wont rest until you're dead


northbastard27

Hold your breath and swim and strain Smell of death can't escape Blood will cloud, drift away Attract the murders of mermaids


MasterMonkej

It's so cold they all know What you've done, you can't run Vengeance is the law for thee A thousand leagues below the sea


DRKUMALO1971

You've been tracked You've been seen Murdering the next of kin Are their hearts, drank their blood, wash your fins in blackened mud


catshapedmachinegun

Now you swim Try to hide Heart beats faster from inside Thought it was a big charade Your life is ended by mermaids!!


kyleliner

MURMAIDER MURMAIDER MURMAIDER (Repeat unto infinity)


blackviper6

/r/redditsings


bubblehashguy

Just got goosebumps reading this thread. Been way too long since I've listened to any Dethklok


chaos8803

Its so cold, they all know What you've done, you can't run Vengeance is the law for thee A thousand leagues below the sea


DeatHTaXx

MURMAIDERMURMAIDERMURMAIDERMURMAIDER MURMAIDERMURMAIDERMURMAIDERMURMAIDER


ShockRifted

*guitar squeels*


Gongaloon

They'll have their shiv. Check. Pipe? Check. Hammer? Check. Axe? Check. Subjects? Check. Location? Check. Desire? Check. Vengeance? Check.


Indiscriminate_Love

Location? Check. Desire? Check. Vengeance? Check.


porchpooper

This question is dildos


MLouie18

You mean we's has to plays on grandpas guitars?


domesystem

Stops copyings me


starlessnight89

It's metal but for fish.


chaos8803

Fish don't gots no goods metal to listens to.


lamewoodworker

Go forth into the water is the best climate change song.


Robobvious

I got to see Mastodon and Dethklok together live and it was awesome.


Jophaaa

r/unexpecteddethklok


horsdoeuvresmyguy

Turns out you can just buy psychological validation.


ThePencilRain

Best quote from any show, ever.


TeteDeMerde

*James, James Cameron explorer of the sea* *With a dying thirst to be the first* *Could it be? Yeah that's him!* *James Cameron*


Penguin-Loves

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does FOR James Cameron....


[deleted]

James Cameron does what James Cameron does, because James Cameron is JAMES CAMERON!


iPlayGamesX-YT

Fish having sex be like


BigMoney5594

**am i a joke to you**


[deleted]

My first thought


Welshbuilder67

Peak of Everest


[deleted]

Frozen dick for an eternal erection


OxtailPhoenix

Everest suddenly got about 6 inches taller.


MarcusBrutus2000

Look at Mr Big Dick over here


short_bus_genius

But there was shrinkage!


iDontGetKyle

I was in the pool!


[deleted]

And was summited shortly thereafter


jsnacraig

Call your doctor if your erection lasts longer than eternity


thekream

ya I was going to say the same thing. absolutely 0 people have done the deed there. All hikers care about is literal survival, the last thing on their minds is sex. you couldn’t pay them to remove an article of clothing on Mt Everest


Evil-Smeagle

The inside of a humpback whale


Tokeingah

Don't be too sure. In a Swedish museum there is a Blue whale that used to be open to the public to enter, but it had to be closed due to a couple getting caught having sex inside of it. Only English article about it I could find was this: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/malm-whale


BigPoppaFitz84

This is why I read down into the comments.. to find someone bringing out the random knowledge that just makes you stop and admire the amazingly high trivia-level of it.


3-14a59b653ei

Someone once said theres nothing that cant be sexualized i said rotten flesh... Boy was i wrong


MegaSeedsInYourBum

There is not one thing, real or imagined, that isn’t someone’s fetish.


CatsAreFuckingEpic

Rule 34 basically


amanda_burns_red

>The fishermen who first discovered the poor stranded whale started the procedure by poking its eyes out, so that it would “not be able to see us.” Over the next two days, the creature was methodically axed, speared and shot until it finally died in a sea of its own blood. Yeah, I can't really blame them for being so incredibly turned on, I guess.


Mozart_69

> Of the amorous natural history enthusiasts, a chairman of the museum commented, “We must be content with the fact that it was two citizens of our own city that enjoyed this privilege.” This is the most Swedish thing I have ever heard.


amanda_burns_red

"At least it wasn't one of *them*"


Mozart_69

Those Danish bastards


Joyce1920

Honestly, that might have been enough to cause an international incident between the two countries. The Danish defiling a Swedish whale might have been the end of Swedish neutrality.


p_turbo

It's like that one ***Love, ~~Sex~~ Death & Robots*** giant episode, only much, much worse.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Picture-unrelated

Unbelievable. I come to say inside a whale but here you are.


Evil-Smeagle

Hah got em


DingusHanglebort

Now kiss


naturally0dd

Inside a whale


ProfessionalPut6507

Does masturbation count? Jonah must have been pretty bored after a while


GenghisTron17

So it was a sperm whale?


bdruid117

My car. I keep an eye on that thing, no action. All attempts have been shot down and at best case scenario moved elsewhere for the initiation.


maltzy

Dirty mike and the boys have some news to share


sadchild_

"Last night I was involved in a carjacking. Fortunately none got on the upholstery." - Robert Schimmel


Slouch_Potato_

The moon.


kickadoodle

[Nasa intern stole more than $20 million worth of moon rocks so that he could have 'sex on the moon'](https://screenshot-media.com/the-future/science/nasa-heist/) Does this count?


TrashMemeFormats

I love that the url says "nasa-heist".


Kylynara

No. Sex on some moon rocks is not the same as sex on the moon. Sprinkling sand in your bed doesn't make it sex on the beach either.


neoncp

ah man... guess I better start cleaning this up


Viztiz006

It was worth a try :(


krakatak

Fuck Thad. He was always an odd dude and what he did was unconscionable.


Coppatop

You know the guy?


krakatak

I was a coop with him at JSC and hung out with him a few times. It pisses me off that he is profiting from his crime...he wrote a book and apparently does paid speaking gigs. Edit: some other person says he knew him more recently. Glad he didn't/doesn't profit from it - happy to be wrong.


JaeCryme

He didn’t write the book. He didn’t even get any money for it. He is specifically not allowed to profit from his crimes. His money has come from other publishing deals related to his physics theories. Source: I was very good friends with him for many years after he left prison, but before I left SLC. Like he was a regular at my home and we went camping together and stuff.


MerryRain

what're you in for? >had sex on the moon alright man I don't want no trouble


[deleted]

[удалено]


JaeCryme

Every once in a while he’ll share the story, but he’s moved on. Time in a federal prison will realign your perspectives.


ALIENANAL

What do you think happens on the dark side of the moon?


[deleted]

Username checks out


ALIENANAL

Always does. Chika Chika


Belzeturtle

The lunatic is on the grass.


Equilibriator

The real answer is The Sun. People have been to The Moon. Why would you take the risk betting on that?


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrRieper

He was left orbiting the Moon.


whatchagonnado0707

Lol we just call it wanking


NoConfusion9490

Obviously. Imagine Michael Collins was just inside the capsule and the other two were like "none for you" and then they did their special moon walker handshake that he wasn't allowed to do because it's only for people that walked on the moon.


froh42

In space, nobody can hear you cream.


rexi11zzz

Man if they did it would be out of this world


HeavyMetalTriangle

Good one dad


Plagueofzombies

There was a couple who got fired from Nasa because they stole a load of moon rocks, and spread them over a bed before fucking. They claim to be the only people to have fucked on the moon (i saw it on QI a while ago so pinch of salt)


Geminii27

Alien history class of the future: "And that, kids, is all you need to know about humans."


Dt2_0

And they'd be wrong. I haven't had sex in Indonesia because I fuck on sheets made there.


Johnlockcabbit

Reminds me of that episode of inside job where they filmed a fake moon landing because all the real astronauts had moon orgy and started a new civilization


matact0n

Reddit headquarters


Deracination

I dunno, I find the image of two linty turds handsily slow-fucking each other in an office chair too cheap to really support them while scrolling through scenes of ignored ban appeals as the rest of the workers in the open office setting look on, wishing they had the cardiovascular fortitude to move themselves onto the heaving pile entirely plausible.


matact0n

That painted a VIVID picture in my head. Disgusting, but that requires serious talent.


Deracination

Thanks! I tried to get "crusty" in there as well, but that sentence is honestly out of room.


ReaverRogue

What a horrible day to be blessed with sight.


saxxhh

r/suspiciouslyspecific


HaggisLad

My wife and I are the first people to live in our house, I could name a few rooms that would qualify no problem


Kandiru

Maybe in the past people had sex on the ground where your house is now, though?


freemasonry

Doesn't count if they're rooms in the second floor. Probably at least


[deleted]

Dinosaur sex


digitalgoodtime

True. A large dinosaurs penis could have been hovering right where you sleep on the 2nd floor.


darkest_irish_lass

r/brandnewsentence


Thassodar

There's a comic out there where King Kong is climbing a building and one guy wakes up to a face full of Kong Dong.


andrewsad1

Fun fact, King Kong's dick would be less than a foot long King Kong is roughly 4-5 times the height of the average silverback gorilla. The average silverback gorilla penis is around 3 to 6 cm long so at max it would be around 11 inches when scaled to King Kong size


DunnoIfThisWorks

Very dependent on which version of king Kong you're dealing with. Anywhere from 25ft to over 300ft tall depending on the movie. So a huge swing in Kong dong.


d0re

Sing a song of the wrong King Kong ding dong


filthy_pikey

Why do they have such tiny penises?


realtoasterlightning

It's more that humans have exceptionally large penises, among primates.


juantxorena

That's some ship of Theseus shit


Detriumph

Sorry man, if you hired an electrician during construction then that's just simply not the case.


Throwitaway3177

I mean did you see Dave's ass today? How could you not


melez

You could bounce a J-box off that thing.


sexy__zombie

YOU haven't had sex in those rooms. Maybe she did?


thekingofcrash7

Sorry to break it to you, but teens drank, smoked, and fucked in your house when it was under construction. Also, get to work checking off those rooms.


wanderingstorm

my bed


undercoverapricot

Maybe your parents while you weren't there?


wanderingstorm

I'm gonna guess no...unless it was ghost sex. Even then I'd seriously have my doubts


Ghostenx

I too have had sex in this person's bed.


KezzaJones

Username checks out


Putrid-Wing-4704

pluto


Schattenlord

You underestimate Goofy


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrabbyBlueberry

Fun fact: from 1991 to 2009, the voice actors for Mickey and Minnie were married to each other. Wayne Allwine and Russi Taylor.


Einar_47

There is a 0% chance those voices didn't spill over into the bedroom.


Dave30954

"Oh-ho! Here comes the Dickey Mouse!"


DEVOmay97

*"it's a surprise tool that'll help us later"*


Haz_Bat_570

Goddamnit Reddit I can’t even have my coffee without it going there…


heisdeadjim_au

Right here. Considering the Earth's rotation around the Sun, our Solar System's position and rotation around our Galactic core, AND the overall expansion of the Universe, each place we do ANYTHING in, is unique. Can I have my money now?


Buckturbo4321

Winner here ^^ Pay up


FuckYeahPhotography

Alright, I will write them a check for a million dollars. I don't even know why I offered this much for a piece of trivia that I am going to forget by lunch. I probably could have just asked for the sake of discussion and got some good answers. Or like 20 bucks. Who wouldn't say something like "The bottom of the Marinara Trench" for 20 bucks? Why do I start so high?? Like, I didn't even try to haggle. It doesn't even matter. When I tell the group chat this answer they are just going to say "you get no bitches anyway," because that is clearly the correct answer. It's the perfect setup to tell someone they have no bitches all along. Even if they had many bitches, the setup is too good, nobody will care for the science. It's like mentioning Steve Jobs and not talking about his death at the hands of Ligma. It's impossible. This will do nothing for me except add to another enormous debt pile from askreddit epic sex questions. I don't know why I fund these operations. I don't know why I like to offer hyperbolic amounts of money for basically musings and epic reddit sex questions about sexy sex (Dear women of Reddit, would you have sex for a billion dollars?). Between this and the avocado toast I am never going to afford a house.


Shadowman761

Tf is ligma i thought he died of cancer??


FuckYeahPhotography

Steve Jobs my balls


korhojoa

Steve Holt!


ColdComfortFam

[Ah, the ol’ Reddit ligma-roo](https://www.reddit.com/r/formula1/comments/yjejc7/deleted_by_user/iuntxiv/?context=2)


HermitDelirus

Man I miss this tradition. I'll just wait for a link to enter the loophole.


rob132

Everyone knows that while Steve Jobs did have ligma, the thing that actually killed him was Updog.


Ask_About_BadGirls21

Why’d you ligma Updog?


kingacesuited

Oh goodness this was good.


victorbarst

The very tip top of the Eiffel tower. Nobody's that crazy and anyone was it would make headlines so we can verify.


chrischi3

The surface of the Sun. Humans have never been there, and any life trying to get there would be vaporized long before reaching it.


ALIENANAL

I have been there and it was pretty damn hot.


ALL_HAIL_Herobrine

Just go at night.


BIJJUDAMA_was_taken

On my grave


I_might_be_pooping

Op's bed


Southslice15

Baggage claim in JFK


HopelessCatLover

Plenty of people have gotten fucked there


Simon_Jester88

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier