I’m literally wanking it all the time too. Your doctor sounds cool, mine just said “put your cock away and don’t come back.”
Edit: I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed that this is on track to be my highest upvoted comment.
I don't really keep track, maybe a couple times a week on average? The number goes up when I'm on my period. The horny is REAL with those fucking hormones lol
This happened to my hand in a car accident 🤢 I’m into reading true crime so I’d heard of it before. After the car had settled and I looked down at my hand I just thought “that’s degloved”.
Oh. Here I've been avoiding it on my period, except when I have bad cramps or I can't resist (is that tmi?). I knew it helped with cramps, but I didn't know it could speed up the period.
Dude, get her that non pointy cup (which collects period) while you bang away raw. I don't even do solo now because she's always using me lmao.
Forgot the name, but it's not a contraceptive just to be clear...
All the women here know exactly what you're talking about. I'm ovulating right now, have had sex many times this week with husband. I told him it's my animal brain.
OK so very serious question
When you, how you say..., "beat the bean" do you have menstrual blood on your hands...or... I'm very curious..and also writing down notes
Edit: Thank for coming to my ted talk I knew that beating the bean would make people laugh.
RIP my dms already, but to clarify, I wear tampons and don't masturbate vaginally, I just... beat the bean, as you say lmao. So no blood cleanup to worry about.
Lol, beating the bean sounds painful. I, for one, very rarely finger myself. Doesn't do much for me. I also won't use penetrating toys when on my period because 1. Penetrating yourself with a tampon in is a good way to hurt yourself, and 2. going sans tampon just isn't worth the mess when there are other ways and I don't often use penetrating toys anyway.
If I put a tampon in before taking a shower, as long as I use the right size and change it when I should, there's little to no blood externally. Using a toy on my clit during my period is almost no different from when I'm not.
Would have to get over 10 hours to get close.
https://unrealfacts.com/masturbation-world-champion-masanobu-sato-masturbated-for-nearly-10-hours/
Like in everything else on the planet, there's a Japanese person doing it better.
Depends, once or twice per day on weekends, minimum 3 times on workdays.
Boss makes a dollar, and I make a dime, that's why I jack off on company time.
I feel this in my soul. I swear what I am about to say is 100% true. I hid my wife's Christmas present in the drawer she keeps her vibrator because I was convinced it was the one place in the house she wouldn't find it. It has been just less than a month and she hasn't found her present yet.
I am not and have never been on any antidepressants, don't take any hormonal birth control, am 30F, and also never masturbate. I don't think I can. I'm just not horny when I'm by myself. And "forcing it" feels pointless and doesn't really work. I'd rather do other things.
I relate to you so much. I used to have a bit of a sex drive but after i started hormonal birth control, i have barely any. I still enjoy sex with my boyfriend. Specifically I never ever have the desire to masturbate, it upsets me because I'm not able to orgasm either.
I used to do it all the time just for serotonin or dopamine and whatever but honestly I think it ended up making me more sad somehow, sex drive got super low, I quit doing it which I was doing good with for a few months but I did it again like a week or two ago and it wasn't worth it. I'm gonna force myself to resist bc the few seconds of high don't outweigh the lows yk?
Same thing happened to me. I used to be a bit of an addict in hs but I got really depressed and had to stop because I was in the hospital. Once I came out I was still depressed but had abstained from it for a bit. Now I feel like it’s attached to an empty feeling.
Same. Sometimes it’ll be twice in one week then just nothing for like a month. I’m ace spectrum so low libido works for me. Feeling a need to masturbate all the time sounds super inconvenient.
I usually only masturbate at work before stressful meetings to sort of calm be down and keep my mind clear.
That being said, you can probably find me in the disabled toilets jacking one out everyday at 2pm.
See you there.
I can’t figure out how to do it in the first place (barehanded at least)
:(
I’m also too cheap and lazy to buy a vibrator
Edit: Nothing revives my faith in humanity more than a bunch of anonymous strangers that are concerned with my sexual well-being :D
I used to masturbate up to 12 times a night (I'm a female who comes very easily), but after getting a boyfriend honestly 2-3 a month. Not being depressed as much helps, anti depression meds do not.
Edit: Call yall messaging me stop messaging me and asking to masturbate with me? A) it's creepy and b) did you not read the part that said I had a boyfriend? Fuck off.
Man here. Late 20’s. I’m about once every two or three days now. Sometimes I go through phases where I’ll go daily for a week and then cool off and go back to every other day.
Being engaged and sexually active helps but I also just don’t have the sex drive I had when I was younger. I don’t need to orgasm twice a day anymore so if I think there’s a shot I could get laid or get head I’ll hold it in. We also go through phases in our sex life. Sometimes we do it daily, other times we take a break for a few days.
I couldn’t sleep if I hadn’t rubbed one out when I was younger. Now I can sleep just fine without it. I still love to jack off and have sex when I do it, it just doesn’t consume my brain like it used to.
Personal worst was like 13 times in one day. Didn’t even feel good after so many times, honestly it hurt. Left me bruised as fuck, sore, tired. Anyways, time to choke the chicken
Male mid20s here. Anywhere from once a week to 10times a week if I'm honest. I also do significantly more DIY during the dry seasons that I'm not sexually active.
Dating right now so my wrist is finally getting a bit of a break.
All the time. My doctor told me to; his exact words "you could have a stroke at any minute"
I’m literally wanking it all the time too. Your doctor sounds cool, mine just said “put your cock away and don’t come back.” Edit: I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed that this is on track to be my highest upvoted comment.
Sounds like the doctor suggested you to come upfront
That’s weird — my doctor told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why, and he said “because I’m trying to examine you.”
A nun told us 6th graders if you masterbate, you'll go blind. I'll quit when I'm crosseyed.
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I told my wife that guys need to nut 3 times a week so now she’s jerking everyone off. Thanks a lot, Tina.
Well, now I KNOW my wife is trying to kill me.
between 3 and 103 times a week
this is hilarious but so real all at the same time
Literally milking the eel rn
Isnt It a bit hard typing with one hand?
It's always hard
🤨📸
"You gotta get those numbers up, those are rookie numbers"
Everyday before I need to sleep and get out of bed. Idk why it helps in the morning tho
Morning rounds need to be quickies though, I put myself back to sleep more than once
Guess is just me, I don't do in morning coz after masturbate I'm sleepy......so it help me to sleep at night
Dude, I’ve jacked it twice since I’ve been here.
I've jacked twice since you've been here too!
Another reddit marriage is under way.
I am jacking off right now
If I have the house to myself I’m certain I could hit a grand slam by noon.
Attaboy
One of the greatest “attaboys” I’ve ever bore witness to.
I don't really keep track, maybe a couple times a week on average? The number goes up when I'm on my period. The horny is REAL with those fucking hormones lol
It can actually help speed up a period! Orgasms cause uterine contractions which helps with the sloughing of tissue.
How can people hate the word moist when the word sloughing exists?
How about degloved? Most off putting word I've come across.
I came for masturbation, and I'm leaving learning new words.
This happened to my hand in a car accident 🤢 I’m into reading true crime so I’d heard of it before. After the car had settled and I looked down at my hand I just thought “that’s degloved”.
Did you find your glove?
I got gloves for my glove action figures.
Hey, don't even *think* about having a wank now. No glove no love remember?
Had a coworker deglove a finger at work on one of our machines. Luckily it was only the finger.
yeah that was one of the worst short sentences i have laid eyes upon
Uhh, yeah baby! You feel those uterine contractions? I'm gonna slough! I'm gonna slough so hard! I'm gonna slough all over you!
Goodnight everybody
No don't go now! You don't want to be accused of... sloughing off, now do ya?
Oh. Here I've been avoiding it on my period, except when I have bad cramps or I can't resist (is that tmi?). I knew it helped with cramps, but I didn't know it could speed up the period.
Asking if that’s TMI on a thread like this is funny 😆
Idk about speeding up periods.. once it's about to end you can continue to bleed or even start bleeding earlier with orgasms/contractions.
My gf was in the same situation until I set up an ergonomic period sex situation in the shower. Now our hot water bills are off the scale.
Dude, get her that non pointy cup (which collects period) while you bang away raw. I don't even do solo now because she's always using me lmao. Forgot the name, but it's not a contraceptive just to be clear...
Always using me lmao. Congratulations, dude, you've achieved sex toy status. An admirable accomplishment. Have fun, drink water.
And when im ovulating, its like a animal in heat lmao
isin't that kind of exactly what it is, an animal in heat
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All the women here know exactly what you're talking about. I'm ovulating right now, have had sex many times this week with husband. I told him it's my animal brain.
All of your brain is an animal brain. You are literally an animal.
I call it the lizard brain, as opposed to the lady brain.
I'm past menopause and I still get the animalistic horniness every month at the point I would be ovulating (conveniently the full moon).
Are you the werewolf of the heat ?
I feel this.
i have to agree there i really only do it when im on my period
Preach! I’m so single at the moment and fall asleep with my vibrator so much when I’m hormonal lol
OK so very serious question When you, how you say..., "beat the bean" do you have menstrual blood on your hands...or... I'm very curious..and also writing down notes Edit: Thank for coming to my ted talk I knew that beating the bean would make people laugh.
Lol it's flick, not beat 🤣 Poor bean haha We don't have a continuous stream of blood pouring out, it's easy to avoid a mess if you wear a tampon.
Never again will it be "flick" always beat the bean from here on out 😅😅🥰
nurture the bean.
Sprouting my bean
A lesbian couple would be "grinding beans" jsyk.
Making coffee
Au Lait
RIP my dms already, but to clarify, I wear tampons and don't masturbate vaginally, I just... beat the bean, as you say lmao. So no blood cleanup to worry about.
Lol, beating the bean sounds painful. I, for one, very rarely finger myself. Doesn't do much for me. I also won't use penetrating toys when on my period because 1. Penetrating yourself with a tampon in is a good way to hurt yourself, and 2. going sans tampon just isn't worth the mess when there are other ways and I don't often use penetrating toys anyway. If I put a tampon in before taking a shower, as long as I use the right size and change it when I should, there's little to no blood externally. Using a toy on my clit during my period is almost no different from when I'm not.
Lmao beat the bean 😂 if you have a tampon in it’s fine, most women get off on clitoral stimulant for orgasm anyway
babe, the bean is the clit. menstrual blood comes from the vagina.
Yes! And if I catch the hubby before it gets heavier it’s a bonus! Something about that orgasm during that time.
I’ll be with you in a minute.
Its been 5hours. That must be an endurance world record.
Would have to get over 10 hours to get close. https://unrealfacts.com/masturbation-world-champion-masanobu-sato-masturbated-for-nearly-10-hours/ Like in everything else on the planet, there's a Japanese person doing it better.
How tf did he like sit in front of a jury of the Guiness Group for 10 hours?
He waits. That's what he does.
Better? Surely that's 10 hours worse than most of us.
Still haven't found that perfect video?
It’s really tough
7 hours later…
Still waiting on that update.
That's a long ass minute
Yo, u alright there?
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Hmm.. 22 here matching your current performance :(
That’s okay! everyone is different!
I mean thats legit good numbers
Depends, once or twice per day on weekends, minimum 3 times on workdays. Boss makes a dollar, and I make a dime, that's why I jack off on company time.
Glorious poem
Working from home does have its advantages. You are working from home, right?
Once or twice a day, going on six years now if I’m not mistaken
masturbation a day, keep the doctor away
I'm afraid, I already past a decade with this healthy masturbation life 🤣
Most nights
I don’t know
Anymore
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This is it, boys, this is war
What are we waiting for?
Why don’t we break the rules already?
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Save that for the black and white
Try twice as hard, and I'm half as liked
Two rights make a wrong. Three rights make a left.
Could be but two Wrights make a plane
As a woman, probably on average every 2 to 3 days
It’s like every night. It’s like i don’t really have to. I just do 🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️
"I am, therefore I do."
Meh if you're bored, then you're bored
Usually multiple times a day. My libido is way too high for how unattractive I am.
User name checks out!
A couple times a day, less when I’m depressed more when I’m stressed 😅
The depression hits the libido hardest. When I'm up I'm up, but when I'm down I'm down.
And when you're only halfway up, you are neither up nor down?
Bro I’m the reverse, I do it more when I’m depressed (as a coping mechanism) and less when I’m stressed. (I’m too anxious to feel horny)
Yo same that lil dopamine boost works wonders for a solid couple minutes lol. Stress no chance though
And then you fall into deeper depression after reality kicks back in.
On full moon nights, but only between 9PM and 10PM, and only after sacrificing a small animal, and turning down the pictures of jesus to face away.
dude, are you jerking off or summoning Satan?
Maybe he's jerking off Satan
That's how he summons Satan, by bashing the Bishop
28F — I know it’s weird, but I never do. I have a very low sex drive, likely due to antidepressants. I have sex about once every 2 weeks tho!
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I feel this so much. Like a lot.
I feel this in my soul. I swear what I am about to say is 100% true. I hid my wife's Christmas present in the drawer she keeps her vibrator because I was convinced it was the one place in the house she wouldn't find it. It has been just less than a month and she hasn't found her present yet.
I am not and have never been on any antidepressants, don't take any hormonal birth control, am 30F, and also never masturbate. I don't think I can. I'm just not horny when I'm by myself. And "forcing it" feels pointless and doesn't really work. I'd rather do other things.
I relate to you so much. I used to have a bit of a sex drive but after i started hormonal birth control, i have barely any. I still enjoy sex with my boyfriend. Specifically I never ever have the desire to masturbate, it upsets me because I'm not able to orgasm either.
♾️
I used to do it all the time just for serotonin or dopamine and whatever but honestly I think it ended up making me more sad somehow, sex drive got super low, I quit doing it which I was doing good with for a few months but I did it again like a week or two ago and it wasn't worth it. I'm gonna force myself to resist bc the few seconds of high don't outweigh the lows yk?
Same thing happened to me. I used to be a bit of an addict in hs but I got really depressed and had to stop because I was in the hospital. Once I came out I was still depressed but had abstained from it for a bit. Now I feel like it’s attached to an empty feeling.
I also used to do it everyday.But i realised it was making me lazy or sleep deprived. So switched to once a week or sometimes 2-3 a week.
Yeah I've noticed that if I do it before going to bed, I just don't sleep.
Daily
3/4 times a week.
so you never finish ?
So you nearly finish.. then start again the next week.. nearly there.. then next week.. Longest edge in history.
As often as it takes to satisfy my sexual "itch"....
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*Gestures to username*
Please tell me you're not a bus driver.
Everyone *get off*,
Not often, once a week to once a month
Same. Sometimes it’ll be twice in one week then just nothing for like a month. I’m ace spectrum so low libido works for me. Feeling a need to masturbate all the time sounds super inconvenient.
1-2 times a week but I would probably do it 3 or maybe 4 times if I had the time tbh.
If you have time to comment on Reddit you have time to choke the chicken. Go on and have some fun
3-5x a day. I’m a woman
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I just laughed so hard I spit out my food, so thanks for that
You're not alone, Supermassive_weiner
She laughed so hard, the fork shot out!
How do you find the time?
I have a fast trigger. It’s only a few min of my time each time. It doesn’t disrupt my life at all
you just stick_a_fork_in_it and say 'yep, she's done' ?
10 maybe 20
A week right?
An hour
The true minuteman
lol
A day? You’re a fuckin animal.
It is December.
Got your 14 in today?
Yeah. Stay hydrated.
Oh ya gotta stay hydrated
I am a guy and most days twice, sometimes once, sometimes 3 times.
This is the way
Too often.
I see you have excellent one handed typing skills.
No handed. 😉
1~2x a day. Female
used to do it like 3-4 times a day everyday, but ive cut it down to a few times a week
Respectfully, how tf did you have the time for 3-4x/day? I cannot fathom.
It's called being a teenager. Or just The Flash
The friction burns he must have.
"It was me Barry!"
I usually only masturbate at work before stressful meetings to sort of calm be down and keep my mind clear. That being said, you can probably find me in the disabled toilets jacking one out everyday at 2pm. See you there.
I love that you have a specific stall. Like a second office.
I can’t figure out how to do it in the first place (barehanded at least) :( I’m also too cheap and lazy to buy a vibrator Edit: Nothing revives my faith in humanity more than a bunch of anonymous strangers that are concerned with my sexual well-being :D
Electric toothbrush ;) It doesn’t have to be fancy, just the battery-powered Oral B ones. They’re pretty quiet too
Just don’t use toothpaste.
$10-20 can get you one on Amazon? Holiday gift maybe??
You are really missing out on some nice stuff..
I used to masturbate up to 12 times a night (I'm a female who comes very easily), but after getting a boyfriend honestly 2-3 a month. Not being depressed as much helps, anti depression meds do not. Edit: Call yall messaging me stop messaging me and asking to masturbate with me? A) it's creepy and b) did you not read the part that said I had a boyfriend? Fuck off.
Honestly, maybe once a week. My girlfriend takes care of the rest.
I’m sure she cherishes Little Dylan. Or would it be Little, little Dylan?
Contrary to popular belief - I'm short vertically, not horizontally
Big Dylan. High five 👋
Once or Twice a week
Man here. Late 20’s. I’m about once every two or three days now. Sometimes I go through phases where I’ll go daily for a week and then cool off and go back to every other day. Being engaged and sexually active helps but I also just don’t have the sex drive I had when I was younger. I don’t need to orgasm twice a day anymore so if I think there’s a shot I could get laid or get head I’ll hold it in. We also go through phases in our sex life. Sometimes we do it daily, other times we take a break for a few days. I couldn’t sleep if I hadn’t rubbed one out when I was younger. Now I can sleep just fine without it. I still love to jack off and have sex when I do it, it just doesn’t consume my brain like it used to.
maybe every couple days, pretty much whenever the mood strikesre
Like once a week, hormones go brrr and make me horny
Who wants to know?
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Hi mom. I never ever think of sex. You know that
Personal worst was like 13 times in one day. Didn’t even feel good after so many times, honestly it hurt. Left me bruised as fuck, sore, tired. Anyways, time to choke the chicken
Well I’m not at risk for prostate cancer, I’ll put it that way
Used to be at least once a day, now I just couldn't be bothered. Effort
Male mid20s here. Anywhere from once a week to 10times a week if I'm honest. I also do significantly more DIY during the dry seasons that I'm not sexually active. Dating right now so my wrist is finally getting a bit of a break.
Almost everyday since I discovered I could at age 11-12. I'm 40 now and didn't slow down in that matter.
30-M about once or twice a week but usually one bc I work and tired
Pretty much daily.