Unapologetically yes. It's just sex and we're consenting adults. I (40m) started dating my wife (25f) when we were 36 and 21. It's the biggest age gap I've ever had downwards and we were both a touch unsure about that difference at first, but it ended up working out.
As long as communication is equal and on point, and as long as both parties are enthusiastically consenting, there is no problem.
41, and also yes. The largest age gap I've ever had was <1 year, but yeah, I would.
It's not like I go around hitting on young women at the mall, but like you said, consenting adults. I'm not the type to take advantage of anyone's naĆÆvete or lack of experience, if I got the impression that's what was inadvertently happening, I'd be inclined to bow out with some parting advice so she doesn't get taken advantage of by the next guy, who might not share my reservations.
That's the other thing, if a woman is into older guys, that's not gonna change if I'm out of the picture. Not that I'm some knight in shining armour, but I'm *safe*. That's not always a given.
I just don't see the big deal tbh. Like I said, I'm not going around leching at high school graduations or anything, but I don't any man or woman should have to apologize for being attracted to young *adults*.
> 41, and also yes. The largest age gap I've ever had was <1 year, but yeah, I would.
> It's not like I go around hitting on young women at the mall, but like you said, consenting adults. I'm not the type to take advantage of anyone's naĆÆvete or lack of experience.
This. I'm more or less agnostic about age, but I do find some degree of (mental and emotional) maturity to be important. I've met 20-year-olds who acted like they were over 30 in terms of being a sensible adult, and I've also met 35-year-olds who still acted like teenagers.
I have zero interest in actively chasing teens or early 20-somethings as a 40-year-old person, because it feels gross to be preying on women that could have been my kid, but if I happen to meet someone in that age bracket and we click on an emotional level, the age gap by itself is not going to nope me out.
Age gaps can work is the gap isnt to great. Ive had a few exs that were nearly ten years younger, some that were nearly ten years older. My wife and i are six years apart and weve been together for 23 years and counting
Yeah I was going to say I donāt think Iāve ever met a middle aged man who didnāt think a woman close to my age was hot if he saw one. But I wanna say the same goes for women, I work at a bar and get hit on constantly by older women.
I wonāt argue with the validity of your facts and figures. But using Hollywood as a baseline for morality is probably not the way to go. So many pedorings sexual assault, etc. I wouldnāt use Hollywood at all
For me, itās the actual ages, not the age gap. I think how much I changed and grew up between 18 & 25/26. Dating someone in their 30s, people are at such different points in life and the power imbalance can be tricky
I actually met SO when I was 21/22, he was 27/28. We were together close to a year, but really weāre just at such different points, we broke up. We did get back together a few years later and have been together over 15 years now, but I donāt think it would have worked if we havenāt called it off. Iām glad I had that time to grow, have fun, explore the world, other partnersā¦.im glad I didnāt miss out on any of it
Whatās interesting about this is people seem to adore and praise Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor for their ābraveā and āamazingā lesbian relationship. No one seems to care that they have a 30 year+ age gap. But Leo D. dates someone in their 20s and people are up in arms.
Itās very interesting what people decide to be upset about and what they choose to accept.
omg noooo you're too young when you're in your 20's, you don't understand he wants you for your youth and looks; whats worse is that all you're going to get out of it is being famous, having red carpet experiences, dining at the finest resturants, having sex with someone largely regarded as one of the sexiest men alive and you'll end up living the rest of your life as a miillionaire once he dumps you oh noooooooo.
/s what a terrible world we live in where being pretty works to your financial advantage its so terrible xD
screams in terror - "PLEASE WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE ADULT WOMEN"
These statistics are irrelevant in regards to the original question. The question is not "are age gaps inappropriate", the question is "would you, as a person who has had a fully developed frontal lobe for at least a decade, be willing to sleep with a person whose frontal lobe will not be fully developed for another 5 years?" All of the people in your list are in their 30s.
People often forget this, but 20-somethings who are trying to hook up with a guy twice their age are a red flag, too. Whatever she's after, it's not what she says it is, and unless you're so immature yourself that you didn't grow at all for your entire adult life, it can't possibly be you, either. She's not going to be able to fully appreciate what you've got to offer.
Guys who go after girls young enough to be their daughters are going to end up with a child on their hands no matter how many rubbers they put on.
> Men that are into them are a red flag to me
I don't know how you felt about dating older men when you were in your 20s but I have female friends who dated older guys at that age because _they are so much mature_ while nowadays they call this type of dude _immature_.
imo it depends a lot on the actual appearance and attitude of that girl. I know 20 year old that seem very mature. And I know same age as me (39) women that are still as stupid and childish.
A 20 year old is not what I "want" and look out for though. But today...3 years after my divorce and almost 5 years after my last enjoyable sexual experience I changed my attitude and standards and would not say āno" to a chance with a 20 year old tbh. Doesn't mean I have to marry her or spend the rest of my life with her.
I swore to myself that my old me is dead and my new me will not deny any not dangerous/risky chances that present themselves. š¤·š»āāļø
But I have also to say that I never had my "wild times" in my youth or general past. Always have been looking out "for the one" which dumped me after some covid pandemic cabin fever for some guy from the internet after 11 years of relationship šµ
Bring on any legal girl that seems mature and feisty enough and I will have no problem. But I will not do anything with one that seems insecure about her actions
WhatĀ“s next, they canĀ“t vote or drive or drink because they look like children to you? I know older women canĀ“t compete with younger ones but then older women sound like they think the younger ones are stupid.
I myself am dating a younger woman. I call her young and beautiful every day. We live together and couldnāt be more happier. Iām 45 and she is 44. We grew up listening to the same music, same era of tv, etcā¦ I love the fact that we have so much in common in life. As far as a 20 year old. Thatās younger than my oldest. I wouldnāt know what kind of conversation we would have besides life lessons. Never mind a relationship. Thatās a kid. Yes, adult in the eyes of the law, but in real life thatās a kid in the eyes of someone in their 40s.
I relate to this so much. I have kids around that age and they're definitely kids in terms of what you can discuss with them. They have ideas and their own life experiences but their lack of experiences in life definitely shows.
Yeah, Iām not saying Iām moral enough to push one out of bed, but I really prefer Women.Ā The young ones are just so stupid. Worse, they donāt know their bodies or their sexuality, so theyāre bad in bed. Itās awkward knowing that theyāre doing stuff because they think thatās what theyāre supposed to do.Ā The upside for many men, is that theyāre SO stupid theyāre easy to impress. When I see āmenā who say they love the young ones, I assume that 1) they have creepy daddy/pedo tendencies, and 2) they really enjoy a girl who is too dumb to know how bad he is in bed.
Edit: oh wait, I HAVE pushed one away. 20ish, canāt remember.Ā
Perhaps the 34m sent the 27f a nude when she explicitly states on her page not to send nudes? Purely speculative, but itās the only thing that makes sense to me right now based on the limited info I have.
Why is it irrational to have sex with 20 yr old girl as a 35+ yr old man? To date maybe, but a quick fuck wont hurt anyone (as long as theirs consent both sides of course)
See though, when does a 20y girl become old enough in your eyes to be named a woman? It rubs me the wrong way how āgirl ā is so easily used as opposed to āwoman ā for adults.. in this thread no less.
I use woman and girl (and even female) interchangeably. I think a lot of people do. There is subtext there, but I don't think it's as deep as you're making it out to be.
I think the difference between those two words doesn't really exists in many non english languages. Or at least the implications of using one against the other. And there are a lot of non natives on reddit.
As the old saying goes, assume ignorance before malice
As long as it's consensual, yes. Why not?
Edit: I'm 59, so I say "yes," because I know it would never happen.
The question was about sex, not about developing a long-term relationship. So if she so desires, I am more than willing.
Does that make me a creepy old man? Perhaps. But who is anyone in the sexual deviance world, to judge? Do sex workers only start in that field when they turn 21? 25?30?
Coming from a woman in her 20s, i wouldnāt suggest youāre a creepy old man just bc youāre willing to have CONSENSUAL sex with someone of the same age group. Sheās an adult, youāre an adult and like you said, who is anyone to judge?? Just donāt go out preying on younger women
I'm 57 and there's no difference between an 18 year old and a 20 year old from my perspective. I have a niece who was held back a year because of undiagnosed dyslexia. She will be 19 and a few months away from 20 when she graduates high school.
The comment you are replying to said "that's virtually a highschool student to me". That does not mean they are a high school student. It means there is virtually no difference to someone older if you are about to graduate high school or if you graduated less than 2 years prior. The comment did not say 20 *is* a high school student like your reply states.
You are arguing semantics and completely missed the point of the comment you are replying to.
Iām not who you asked but I was friends with multiple 20 year olds who were *literally* still in high school my senior year. I know a 19 year old that will be 20 before he graduates this year *right now.* Theyāre essentially high school students because they can *literally* still be high school students. I donāt care what the law says, thatās still a child. Issa no from me.
if you look at the other comments, thatās what guys keep mentioning and thatās the only reason i brought it up. idgafos that they didnāt care about those things, honestly.
I understand why you brought it up, it's just quite telling. Red flag imo.
>idgafos that they didnāt care about those things, honestly.
Can't be bothered for you lol, just my opinion is all.
The older you get the harder it is to see people under the age of 25 as anything but kids. It's not even if they are "mature" or not, I'm pushing 40 and am still an immature shitbag at times, but a lack of life experience.
That being said, if it's just sex and everyone is consenting then I'd say yes. 20 is old enough to know what is happening and the consequences, but I don't know if I'd be able to to do anything beyond just sex with someone under 25.
At 35 and married, one off sex is as appealing as joyriding in a rental car: could be fun, but it would have to be a supercar otherwise the amazing daily driver at home is more than capable.
If I were single, the confidence boost of a ONS/joyride makes the age gap kinda sexy though.
I hate this double standard. My mother (45) cheated on my father with a 19 year old. Of course everyone was mad about her cheating (rightfully so) but nobody pointed out how awful it was she was screwing a 19 year old
"Girl" being the key word in this question: no... I'm damn near 45, and it feels kinda sorta icky thinking about banging a 30 year old. No hate or judgement for those who would though. It's perfectly legal. Do your thing.
I would totally bang a 30 year old by the way.
1. She wouldnāt be a girl, she would be a woman.
2. Yes I would. Actually, I dated and had sex with a woman that was 10 years younger than I. Oh man, she was a freak š.
I wouldnāt call it delusional. Iām sorry though, but when your dating a hot young 20ās cuckquean that is down for anything you want to do, chick never said no or used the safe word, down for whatever. itās not easy to stop.
I'm 37 and I think the answer, as with all things, is that it depends on the specific person. Some 20 year olds are very mature for their age and you'd never know they were that young. Others are little more than children (I was very much in the latter category).
As a general rule I think 20 is too young for me personally, but I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with an age gap between adults.
had a girl who was 23 message me a while ago on RAOBJ, took me a minute to decide where I stood. But she wanted it and it was a sexual, non emotional thing. It didn't end up working out due to logistics, but I would have done it.
45 year old male here and Iāve slept with women in their 20s 30s 40s 50s and a 62 year old. All were fun and everything was enjoyed by all. Itās a mentality not an age thing. Sex in all forms is fun and people should have more of it.
At 50, hard pass. As Iāve gotten older, Iāve come to appreciate more mature women and really appreciate their perfect imperfections. Half your age, plus seven has generally been my rule of thumb.
If the opportunity comes up naturally, sure. But I'm not pursuing it and wouldn't make it a regular thing.
I'm not chasing after 20 year olds anymore, but if they chase me, I can't run that fast
Married an monogamous so no.
Also, how would I even connect to her? I'm a family man, married, I own property, have a career, goals, everything. Like what would we connect on? Do I just buy her a Happy Meal or something?
A one night stand or a brief fling? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Only real exception would be not from.my (or families) work. Not really against work things, but not something like that.
After a quick meet in a bar or something? Hot and heavy for a night, or a couple of weeks? That'd be the dream!
If I was single and she was the initiator and understood it would be casual only. I wouldn't be hitting on 20 year olds and I don't see myself having a relationship with that age gap.
As a 35 year old, possibly? I don't think I'd go below 20 and I definitely wouldn't have a relationship with anyone that young. If she was coming on to me, I'd reciprocate but I don't think I would initiate.
36. Half my age plus 7. Nope. Lowest is 25. Honestly I have to deal with kids in their 20s for work sometimes and they do seem like kids, children, to me. Remember house phones? They don't.
Absolutely! I think they should be allowed to experience what all those years of experience can offerā¦. The last time I fucked a younger 20 year old she had never been able to orgasm from intercourse before and I blew her mindā¦ā¦ so now I think of myself as some sort of Knight in shining armor, giving orgasms to the orgasmless
Yeah, probably. I'm sort of seeing someone whose 20 but nothing's happened other than a few kinda nice dates and it's not the age that bugs me as much as the generational gap. Even there it's more of a social thing, like how would others react if things did escalate with her? I already got kind of a weird reaction from a coworker who doesn't even know we've been dating (she used to work here too).Ā
I really don't understand this overly negative view on age-gap dating here on reddit. It seems like everyone believes if a man is into younger women (regardless of how young) it automatically makes them a dangerous pervert who'd have sex with just about any age if it were legal. I read that elsewhere and sort of let it marinate in my mind for a while and I still don't get it. Even for me, there's a limit even if it were legal toĀ have sex with someone younger and I'm actually kinda feeling like 20 is just barely at the edge of that limit.Ā
I've also seen the odd comment that "men like me" only want power and control and I kinda of don't want either, so that just seems like a really weird assumption to make. I'm actually kinda more on the submissive side lol
I'm over 50. I would. But with a caveat. Not just any 20 year old. There would have to be something between us besides just physical attraction and sex.
I learned the hard way, you have no control over who you fall in love with. As long as everybody involved is of legal age and at a maturity level to understand completely what is happening, I say go for it.
If an attractive 20 year old messaged or started talking to me Iād see how it played out and I probably wouldnāt turn her down. My answer varies based on the individual though and I canāt see me making the first move with someone that young
Iām 49 and donāt think I could handle listening to a 20 yo long enough to get her cloths off. Doesnāt help that I have 18 and 19yo kids. To weird for me.
If she clearly approached or something for sure why not?
Set up a date, meet, chat, and understand what's the driver behind older guys. No red flags then an adult convo about sex, consent, etc.
Unapologetically yes. It's just sex and we're consenting adults. I (40m) started dating my wife (25f) when we were 36 and 21. It's the biggest age gap I've ever had downwards and we were both a touch unsure about that difference at first, but it ended up working out. As long as communication is equal and on point, and as long as both parties are enthusiastically consenting, there is no problem.
The irony of just basic sex with an age disparity being the one thing no man wants to admit to. Of all the things said here. Edit for clarity
Nice point without stating anything tangible. Well done.
I was agreeing with you, though apparently not clearly enough. Also stated my opinion individually.
My bad - erasing my post. Actually, I'll leave it up because I'm an ass.
All good, I had a typo in there so not my best point.
No worries mate
Hey guys this is Reddit no apologizing or being nice. Now please if you would revert back to insulting each other.
šŖ š”
Thatās better thank you.
Omg I needed to hear this thanks !! š©š
āas long as both parties are enthusiastically consentingā Simple as that ā
Hooray! Accountability š„ (not said sarcastically)
āŗļø
The Montgomery Burns award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence
41, and also yes. The largest age gap I've ever had was <1 year, but yeah, I would. It's not like I go around hitting on young women at the mall, but like you said, consenting adults. I'm not the type to take advantage of anyone's naĆÆvete or lack of experience, if I got the impression that's what was inadvertently happening, I'd be inclined to bow out with some parting advice so she doesn't get taken advantage of by the next guy, who might not share my reservations. That's the other thing, if a woman is into older guys, that's not gonna change if I'm out of the picture. Not that I'm some knight in shining armour, but I'm *safe*. That's not always a given. I just don't see the big deal tbh. Like I said, I'm not going around leching at high school graduations or anything, but I don't any man or woman should have to apologize for being attracted to young *adults*.
> 41, and also yes. The largest age gap I've ever had was <1 year, but yeah, I would. > It's not like I go around hitting on young women at the mall, but like you said, consenting adults. I'm not the type to take advantage of anyone's naĆÆvete or lack of experience. This. I'm more or less agnostic about age, but I do find some degree of (mental and emotional) maturity to be important. I've met 20-year-olds who acted like they were over 30 in terms of being a sensible adult, and I've also met 35-year-olds who still acted like teenagers. I have zero interest in actively chasing teens or early 20-somethings as a 40-year-old person, because it feels gross to be preying on women that could have been my kid, but if I happen to meet someone in that age bracket and we click on an emotional level, the age gap by itself is not going to nope me out.
My parents also had an 11 year age gap and no one ever questioned it, this generation just has a problem in general..
My wife and I have a 10.5 year gap and I couldn't have met a better partner
Age gaps can work is the gap isnt to great. Ive had a few exs that were nearly ten years younger, some that were nearly ten years older. My wife and i are six years apart and weve been together for 23 years and counting
No. Women that young look like children to me. Iām way more attracted to women in their 30s and 40s. Iām in my 40s.
I appreciate this. I'm almost 40 and 20 year olds look like children to me. Men that are into them are a red flag to me
And then you find out that the ones who you thought weren't like this, also are.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah I was going to say I donāt think Iāve ever met a middle aged man who didnāt think a woman close to my age was hot if he saw one. But I wanna say the same goes for women, I work at a bar and get hit on constantly by older women.
is it the age gap or the fact they are in their 20's that makes it a red flag? would you consider any of the following to be acceptable or do you consider these all disgusting perverts and red flags as well? - Chris Pratt (45) & Katherine Schwarzenegger (34) - 10 Year age gap (older guy) - Ryan Reynolds (47) and Blake Lively (36) - 11 year age gap (older guy) - Jay-Z (54) and BeyoncƩ (42) - 12 Year age gap (older guy) - Deborra Lee-Furness (68) & Hugh Jackman (55) - 13 Year age gap (older woman) - Ellen DeGeneres (66) & Portia de Rossi (51) - 15 Year age gap (older woman, F/F) - Jeffrey Dean Morgan (58) & Hilarie Burton (41) - 16 Year age gap (older guy) - Heidi Klum (51) & Tom Kaulitz (34) - 16 Year age gap (older woman) - George Clooney (62) and Amal Clooney (45) - 17 year age gap (older guy) - Eddie Murphy (63) & Paige Butcher (44) - 19 Year age gap (older guy) - Jason Statham (56) & Rosie-Huntington-Whiteley (36) - 20 Year age gap (older guy) - Harrison Ford (81) & Calista Flockhart (59) - 22 Year age gap (older guy) - Samantha Taylor-Johnson (57) & Aaron Taylor-Johnson (34) -(older woman) 23 Year age gap - Bruce Willis (69) & Emma Heming Willis (46) - 23 Year age gap (older guy) - Leonardo DiCaprio (42) & Camila Morrone (22) - 23 year age gap (older guy) - Michael Douglas (79) & Catherine Zeta-Jones (54) - 25 Year age gap (older guy) - Alec Baldwin (66) & Hilaria Baldwin (40) - 26 Year age gap (older guy) - Rod Stewart (79) & Penny Lancaster (53) - 27 Year age gap (older guy) - Jeff Goldblum (71) & Emilie Livingston (41) - 30 Year age gap (older guy) - Stephen Fry (66) & Elliott Spencer (37) - 30 Year age gap (older guy, M/M) - Holland Taylor (81) & Sarah Paulson (49) - 31 Year age gap (older woman, F/F) - Dennis Quaid (70) & Laura Savoie (31) - 39 Year age gap (older guy) Thats just a handful of celebrity couples; personally some of them particularly lower in the list make me yikes; but the question is; at what point is an age gap considered acceptable? or is it actually that you are considering more than just the age gap and that you are perhaps even subconsiously assigning a power dynamic to the scenario OP suggested; in which the 20 year old (woman) is somehow being taken advantage of despite being a grown adult and knowing what they are doing; and you are automatically assuming that the older (man) in the scenario is automatically a predator and thus red flags just because he's a man so he MUST be a predator to find someone younger attractive.
I wonāt argue with the validity of your facts and figures. But using Hollywood as a baseline for morality is probably not the way to go. So many pedorings sexual assault, etc. I wouldnāt use Hollywood at all
This is ridiculous. For one thing, the entertainment world is not the world most people live in. For another, the gap is less important than the age of the younger individual when they met. A 15 year (or more) age gap between two people who met when the younger one was over 35 is way different than one where the younger person is 20. It all comes down to the sort of power/agency that the two have. This is why entertainers are such bad examples. Is there a gap between Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively? Yes, but Blake Lively was a successful actress to the degree that he, as a man 11 years her elder, wouldnāt be using the weight of his lived experience to create a power imbalance in his favor. Thereās an argument to be made that BeyoncĆ© is the bigger star between her and Jay-Z so the power dynamics are way more equal. Etc, etc. Some of them were gross and predatory but not by default because the entertainment world is different. By contrast, your average 35+ man is going to rent or own his own place vs a 20 year old who wonāt, heās likely to have a nicer car than a 20 year old, heāll have more disposable income, probably be more educated or, at the very least, have more lived experiences. That translates to a host of imbalances in his favor. Which would also be true if the older person was a woman, regardless of whether younger was male, female or nonbinary save for one singular element: *We live in a patriarchy that, at best, passively facilitates the imbalances for men and, at worst, outright promotes them*. So those gaps you named will all be gross, regardless of the gender/orientation of the parties involved when weāre talking about average people where the younger individual is a 20 year old.
Exactly! The age of the younger person when the relationship started is highly relevant. For example, BeyoncĆ© may be the bigger star now, but she wasnāt when they started dating when she was barely in her 20s.
For me, itās the actual ages, not the age gap. I think how much I changed and grew up between 18 & 25/26. Dating someone in their 30s, people are at such different points in life and the power imbalance can be tricky I actually met SO when I was 21/22, he was 27/28. We were together close to a year, but really weāre just at such different points, we broke up. We did get back together a few years later and have been together over 15 years now, but I donāt think it would have worked if we havenāt called it off. Iām glad I had that time to grow, have fun, explore the world, other partnersā¦.im glad I didnāt miss out on any of it
Whatās interesting about this is people seem to adore and praise Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor for their ābraveā and āamazingā lesbian relationship. No one seems to care that they have a 30 year+ age gap. But Leo D. dates someone in their 20s and people are up in arms. Itās very interesting what people decide to be upset about and what they choose to accept.
People are up in arms about Leo because he serially does this and then dumps them when they turn 25
You mean... the girls know *exactly* what they're getting into when they agree to get involved with him of their own volition?
omg noooo you're too young when you're in your 20's, you don't understand he wants you for your youth and looks; whats worse is that all you're going to get out of it is being famous, having red carpet experiences, dining at the finest resturants, having sex with someone largely regarded as one of the sexiest men alive and you'll end up living the rest of your life as a miillionaire once he dumps you oh noooooooo. /s what a terrible world we live in where being pretty works to your financial advantage its so terrible xD screams in terror - "PLEASE WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE ADULT WOMEN"
These statistics are irrelevant in regards to the original question. The question is not "are age gaps inappropriate", the question is "would you, as a person who has had a fully developed frontal lobe for at least a decade, be willing to sleep with a person whose frontal lobe will not be fully developed for another 5 years?" All of the people in your list are in their 30s.
People often forget this, but 20-somethings who are trying to hook up with a guy twice their age are a red flag, too. Whatever she's after, it's not what she says it is, and unless you're so immature yourself that you didn't grow at all for your entire adult life, it can't possibly be you, either. She's not going to be able to fully appreciate what you've got to offer. Guys who go after girls young enough to be their daughters are going to end up with a child on their hands no matter how many rubbers they put on.
> Men that are into them are a red flag to me I don't know how you felt about dating older men when you were in your 20s but I have female friends who dated older guys at that age because _they are so much mature_ while nowadays they call this type of dude _immature_.
Kek. Seethe. Cope.
imo it depends a lot on the actual appearance and attitude of that girl. I know 20 year old that seem very mature. And I know same age as me (39) women that are still as stupid and childish. A 20 year old is not what I "want" and look out for though. But today...3 years after my divorce and almost 5 years after my last enjoyable sexual experience I changed my attitude and standards and would not say āno" to a chance with a 20 year old tbh. Doesn't mean I have to marry her or spend the rest of my life with her. I swore to myself that my old me is dead and my new me will not deny any not dangerous/risky chances that present themselves. š¤·š»āāļø But I have also to say that I never had my "wild times" in my youth or general past. Always have been looking out "for the one" which dumped me after some covid pandemic cabin fever for some guy from the internet after 11 years of relationship šµ Bring on any legal girl that seems mature and feisty enough and I will have no problem. But I will not do anything with one that seems insecure about her actions
WhatĀ“s next, they canĀ“t vote or drive or drink because they look like children to you? I know older women canĀ“t compete with younger ones but then older women sound like they think the younger ones are stupid.
I myself am dating a younger woman. I call her young and beautiful every day. We live together and couldnāt be more happier. Iām 45 and she is 44. We grew up listening to the same music, same era of tv, etcā¦ I love the fact that we have so much in common in life. As far as a 20 year old. Thatās younger than my oldest. I wouldnāt know what kind of conversation we would have besides life lessons. Never mind a relationship. Thatās a kid. Yes, adult in the eyes of the law, but in real life thatās a kid in the eyes of someone in their 40s.
I relate to this so much. I have kids around that age and they're definitely kids in terms of what you can discuss with them. They have ideas and their own life experiences but their lack of experiences in life definitely shows.
Not only do they look like children, they act like children. Hard pass here. Also, being a dad of only girls really skews my perception.
Yeah, Iām not saying Iām moral enough to push one out of bed, but I really prefer Women.Ā The young ones are just so stupid. Worse, they donāt know their bodies or their sexuality, so theyāre bad in bed. Itās awkward knowing that theyāre doing stuff because they think thatās what theyāre supposed to do.Ā The upside for many men, is that theyāre SO stupid theyāre easy to impress. When I see āmenā who say they love the young ones, I assume that 1) they have creepy daddy/pedo tendencies, and 2) they really enjoy a girl who is too dumb to know how bad he is in bed. Edit: oh wait, I HAVE pushed one away. 20ish, canāt remember.Ā
Agreed. Im 38 and think my cut off would be 30. Definitely attracted to people around my age. And older.
This is the same for me, Iām 38 and I cannot imagine going younger than 30
This is where I am as well.
Iām attracted to women in their 30s too but Iām 19 š¤£š¤£š¤£
Your preference but a hard "no" is hard to believe
Thankfully Im 34 and don't qualify to answer
Coward
Or am I a rule follower?
I know categorically that you are not š
Well now Im very curious. How do you know?
iām also very curious
Well, I guess we'll never know... What a coward
Perhaps the 34m sent the 27f a nude when she explicitly states on her page not to send nudes? Purely speculative, but itās the only thing that makes sense to me right now based on the limited info I have.
He did not. I want it on record that u/whiskeysour112 is a gentleman and has never sent me an unsolicited nude
Thank you for saying this
You two should go on a date and find out.
Also 34, also unqualified.
Also 34. A shame, really.
Hey, I heard the 34 year old meeting was here?
Imagine being one of those old 35 year olds. Fuckin ancients, amirite?
Torn between "Haha, look at those fucking dinosaurs" and looking in to the abyss of becoming one in a year.
A year? Nah it's still 2016, we got plenty of time.
Iām only 31 but can I please join? My 32yr old baby daddy started banging a 19yr old and I need somewhere to belong š„ŗ
Wouldn't it be disqualified?
I think it's antiqualified
Deep down yes. But rationally no.
Why is it irrational to have sex with 20 yr old girl as a 35+ yr old man? To date maybe, but a quick fuck wont hurt anyone (as long as theirs consent both sides of course)
See though, when does a 20y girl become old enough in your eyes to be named a woman? It rubs me the wrong way how āgirl ā is so easily used as opposed to āwoman ā for adults.. in this thread no less.
Agreed. The answers saying "yes" but saying "20 year old girl" instead of "20 year old woman" give ick vibes.
I use woman and girl (and even female) interchangeably. I think a lot of people do. There is subtext there, but I don't think it's as deep as you're making it out to be.
Yeah, I think those two went out of their way to be offended.
I think the difference between those two words doesn't really exists in many non english languages. Or at least the implications of using one against the other. And there are a lot of non natives on reddit. As the old saying goes, assume ignorance before malice
20 year old "GIRL"??? Yikes.
Iām 88. Of course I will.
You go, grandpa!
This is his make a wish
Average r/manhands poster.
Aww, you checking me out?
Can we get someone over here for a fellow king?
This guy fucks
Name checks out
We gotta Dirty De Niro ova heaar!
username checks out
Whoās gonna be brave and go first? š
Buuuuut none of us are that old. Haha. *hurriedly messes up hair*
Yea you do that..... *starts covering bald spots around my already thinning hairline*
48. fuck yeah i would this generation has devloped weird hangups
Lol..... Not me!!!!
As long as it's consensual, yes. Why not? Edit: I'm 59, so I say "yes," because I know it would never happen. The question was about sex, not about developing a long-term relationship. So if she so desires, I am more than willing. Does that make me a creepy old man? Perhaps. But who is anyone in the sexual deviance world, to judge? Do sex workers only start in that field when they turn 21? 25?30?
Coming from a woman in her 20s, i wouldnāt suggest youāre a creepy old man just bc youāre willing to have CONSENSUAL sex with someone of the same age group. Sheās an adult, youāre an adult and like you said, who is anyone to judge?? Just donāt go out preying on younger women
I'll tell you this for free I'm 30 and I would not have sex with a 20 year old, that's virtually a highschool student to me
How is 20 a high school student?
I'm 57 and there's no difference between an 18 year old and a 20 year old from my perspective. I have a niece who was held back a year because of undiagnosed dyslexia. She will be 19 and a few months away from 20 when she graduates high school. The comment you are replying to said "that's virtually a highschool student to me". That does not mean they are a high school student. It means there is virtually no difference to someone older if you are about to graduate high school or if you graduated less than 2 years prior. The comment did not say 20 *is* a high school student like your reply states. You are arguing semantics and completely missed the point of the comment you are replying to.
I get what they're saying. The age gap and maturity at that age. I'm 26, and I wouldn't have sex with someone that age.
Iām not who you asked but I was friends with multiple 20 year olds who were *literally* still in high school my senior year. I know a 19 year old that will be 20 before he graduates this year *right now.* Theyāre essentially high school students because they can *literally* still be high school students. I donāt care what the law says, thatās still a child. Issa no from me.
why is everyone saying noš
i think they feel guilty. when i was 20, i had multiple boyfriends that were pushing 50. none of them cared about my personality or maturity level.
>none of them cared about my personality or maturity level.
if you look at the other comments, thatās what guys keep mentioning and thatās the only reason i brought it up. idgafos that they didnāt care about those things, honestly.
I understand why you brought it up, it's just quite telling. Red flag imo. >idgafos that they didnāt care about those things, honestly. Can't be bothered for you lol, just my opinion is all.
i suppose youāre right. it would be a red flag for some women, i just didnāt care at the time.
I could never date someone that much younger than me. But that wasn't the question. The question was about sex.
believe it or not, some women have sex with their boyfriends.. so it kinda seemed related here.
If your boyfriends "didn't care about your personality", then surely they were really just fuck buddies?
i suppose thatās how it started out, but it changed once we started living together.
Its still reddit. Even if its a deranged sub, everyone is still trying to be politically correct somewhat
Because theyāre lying.
because people are conformists
Not everyone is saying no š¤Ø
yes but mostly
Yeah, I see thatās the trend here. Iām not among that trend and I donāt have a problem saying so š¤·āāļø
Virgins on Reddit
The older you get the harder it is to see people under the age of 25 as anything but kids. It's not even if they are "mature" or not, I'm pushing 40 and am still an immature shitbag at times, but a lack of life experience. That being said, if it's just sex and everyone is consenting then I'd say yes. 20 is old enough to know what is happening and the consequences, but I don't know if I'd be able to to do anything beyond just sex with someone under 25.
Delusional. The answer is yes.
Because theyāre chicken shits and afraid to give the real answer.
35 here. Mutual attraction, interests, and vibes? Yes! One sided attraction, no common interests, not vibing? No thank you.
Even just for one off sex?
At 35 and married, one off sex is as appealing as joyriding in a rental car: could be fun, but it would have to be a supercar otherwise the amazing daily driver at home is more than capable. If I were single, the confidence boost of a ONS/joyride makes the age gap kinda sexy though.
No, it would be weird. My daughter is older than 20
Nope. Zero interest. Yes, technically theyāre adults. They still seem like children to me.
31 and I wouldn't. Not to overly generalize, but I'm not sure how much in common I could have with a college sophomore.
Ummm well one of you is getting fucked by calculus and the other by a 31 year old. So you can share how you're both getting fucked š
36 here, my cutoff these days is a hard 25. It's not for a lack of physical attraction, it's more of a maturity thing.
You're like Reverse DiCaprio
Literally
Iām 28 and I have noticed a massive difference between your typical 23/24 year old and 25+. Honestly itās for both men and women.
Sure. Why not.
I'm 50 and I wouldn't touch anyone under 40. Give me an older woman every time.
Iām only 28 and thatās a no for me
Why can't this be open to women wanting to date a 20 year old guy? Or gay/lesbian relationships?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I hate this double standard. My mother (45) cheated on my father with a 19 year old. Of course everyone was mad about her cheating (rightfully so) but nobody pointed out how awful it was she was screwing a 19 year old
"Girl" being the key word in this question: no... I'm damn near 45, and it feels kinda sorta icky thinking about banging a 30 year old. No hate or judgement for those who would though. It's perfectly legal. Do your thing. I would totally bang a 30 year old by the way.
1. She wouldnāt be a girl, she would be a woman. 2. Yes I would. Actually, I dated and had sex with a woman that was 10 years younger than I. Oh man, she was a freak š.
My ex was 21 and I was 35, together for 3 years before we figured out the only thing we had to bond over was sex
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wouldnāt call it delusional. Iām sorry though, but when your dating a hot young 20ās cuckquean that is down for anything you want to do, chick never said no or used the safe word, down for whatever. itās not easy to stop.
I'm 37 and I think the answer, as with all things, is that it depends on the specific person. Some 20 year olds are very mature for their age and you'd never know they were that young. Others are little more than children (I was very much in the latter category). As a general rule I think 20 is too young for me personally, but I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with an age gap between adults.
Have done. Not as great as y'all think. Would I do it again..... probably yeah.
Iām not even 35 and to me I think it would just feel too icky even entertaining the thought in a serious way.
had a girl who was 23 message me a while ago on RAOBJ, took me a minute to decide where I stood. But she wanted it and it was a sexual, non emotional thing. It didn't end up working out due to logistics, but I would have done it.
Is the Ocean deep?
45 year old male here and Iāve slept with women in their 20s 30s 40s 50s and a 62 year old. All were fun and everything was enjoyed by all. Itās a mentality not an age thing. Sex in all forms is fun and people should have more of it.
Absolutely not. Everyone under 30 looks like a child to me.
At 50, hard pass. As Iāve gotten older, Iāve come to appreciate more mature women and really appreciate their perfect imperfections. Half your age, plus seven has generally been my rule of thumb.
I'm married, so nah, but even if I weren't, no. I'm 40. Old enough to be your da. That's fucking weird.
Nope. My daughter is older.
I'm not quite 30 yet and I already think 20's too young.
Eh, maybe. If circumstances were right. Most girls that age are too immature for me to be interested, but I wouldn't rule it out.
Depends on the girl, if there's chemistry then yes, if not no. Gotta be attracted that that brain first yo
If the opportunity comes up naturally, sure. But I'm not pursuing it and wouldn't make it a regular thing. I'm not chasing after 20 year olds anymore, but if they chase me, I can't run that fast
Just sex? Sure. If it somehow was a ons/hook up that happened I wouldnāt say no.
Married an monogamous so no. Also, how would I even connect to her? I'm a family man, married, I own property, have a career, goals, everything. Like what would we connect on? Do I just buy her a Happy Meal or something?
I did when I was about 33 and she was 21. Had a great time.
No. I just canāt get over the idea of them still being children. Iām 38 and 26 I think may be the cut off for me.
would absolutely love to haha
No
Hell yeah. I did it with an 18 year old when I was 36. Twenty years old would be good too.
I mean, if it was just a physical thing, sure. I don't think I could handle a relationship with a 20-year old anymore.
I have several times and honestly Iām kind of into it. Both of the women had an age gap kink and it was fun being the object of their kink.
Iām 43, and although 23 is the youngest, Iād consider 20.
A one night stand or a brief fling? Abso-fucking-lutely. Only real exception would be not from.my (or families) work. Not really against work things, but not something like that. After a quick meet in a bar or something? Hot and heavy for a night, or a couple of weeks? That'd be the dream!
If I was single and she was the initiator and understood it would be casual only. I wouldn't be hitting on 20 year olds and I don't see myself having a relationship with that age gap.
As a 35 year old, possibly? I don't think I'd go below 20 and I definitely wouldn't have a relationship with anyone that young. If she was coming on to me, I'd reciprocate but I don't think I would initiate.
32 so Iām disqualified, but here to see the answers š
36. Half my age plus 7. Nope. Lowest is 25. Honestly I have to deal with kids in their 20s for work sometimes and they do seem like kids, children, to me. Remember house phones? They don't.
Half your age, plus 7 is the only rule.
Nope
Absolutely! I think they should be allowed to experience what all those years of experience can offerā¦. The last time I fucked a younger 20 year old she had never been able to orgasm from intercourse before and I blew her mindā¦ā¦ so now I think of myself as some sort of Knight in shining armor, giving orgasms to the orgasmless
Yeah, probably. I'm sort of seeing someone whose 20 but nothing's happened other than a few kinda nice dates and it's not the age that bugs me as much as the generational gap. Even there it's more of a social thing, like how would others react if things did escalate with her? I already got kind of a weird reaction from a coworker who doesn't even know we've been dating (she used to work here too).Ā I really don't understand this overly negative view on age-gap dating here on reddit. It seems like everyone believes if a man is into younger women (regardless of how young) it automatically makes them a dangerous pervert who'd have sex with just about any age if it were legal. I read that elsewhere and sort of let it marinate in my mind for a while and I still don't get it. Even for me, there's a limit even if it were legal toĀ have sex with someone younger and I'm actually kinda feeling like 20 is just barely at the edge of that limit.Ā I've also seen the odd comment that "men like me" only want power and control and I kinda of don't want either, so that just seems like a really weird assumption to make. I'm actually kinda more on the submissive side lol
Consent and enthusiasm is everything.
Probably not Iād feel guilty
Reverse the question and the age difference becomes moot
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm over 50. I would. But with a caveat. Not just any 20 year old. There would have to be something between us besides just physical attraction and sex. I learned the hard way, you have no control over who you fall in love with. As long as everybody involved is of legal age and at a maturity level to understand completely what is happening, I say go for it.
If an attractive 20 year old messaged or started talking to me Iād see how it played out and I probably wouldnāt turn her down. My answer varies based on the individual though and I canāt see me making the first move with someone that young
I would. But I would be scared.
Truthfully? Well some women can look appealing at that age. Every time they have no substance or looking to be a sugar baby. With a broad stroke?
At this age it has been a honour to sleep with a twenty year old.
Did/would again, but not many. She was quite rare.
Iām 49 and donāt think I could handle listening to a 20 yo long enough to get her cloths off. Doesnāt help that I have 18 and 19yo kids. To weird for me.
I doubt it.
If she clearly approached or something for sure why not? Set up a date, meet, chat, and understand what's the driver behind older guys. No red flags then an adult convo about sex, consent, etc.
Yes
Yes
Yes most definitely.
Why not?
No. They're young enough to be my daughter (if I had kids).
Are you bull shitting me on here? In a heartbeat I would fuck the ever loving Goo Goo outta her.
52+20=Nah...šÆ
I have. Weāre still good friends years later.
If she's willing and interested absolutely. I'm not pursuing in any manner, but if that situation arose...
As a one night stand, maybe? Might be fun, but I'd have to be talked into it because I don't generally do them Dating? Absolutely not.
36. Depends, I guess lol