People who only give you attention because they need your help. Massive red flag, those are mostly mentally unstable, self destructive or self centered
Often said by someone who hasn't shown anything remotely resembling their supposed best and their worst keeps getting deeper and deeper.
If you can't show me your best, I don't care to see your worst.
“I want a travel buddy”
“Want a man to buy me a dress and tell me to take the day off work because he’s taking me out to dinner”
“I’m a passenger princess”
Tell me you’re gonna be entitled and won’t contribute anything to the relationship without actually saying it.
I’m a “passenger princess” but my husband doesn’t ever want me to drive, I handle navigation, open his drinks, feed him his food, and provide entertainment courtesy of my lovely singing.
My ex calls herself a 'Professional Passenger' &, after a situation developed where it WOULD HAVE BEEN BENEFICIAL FOR HER TO HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE, guess whom she called to pull her fat out of the country fire?
Someone that insists on being driven around while not doing any driving themselves. Usually in an arrogant way to imply they won’t be doing any work in the relationship.
Hey, I'm my partner's travel buddy. But she's the one paying the majority of our travels. She out earns me, and says that I'm a terrific travel companion and am more than worth it to bring with her.
But yeah, I'm not a travel prince and look to contribute in our relationship.
>Travel buddy
Sure, everyone likes to travel, and travelling together can be a crucible for a relationship. It's a good idea to travel with your partner before you take the relationship to the next level.
>Want a man to buy me a dress and tell me to take the day off work because he's taking me out to dinner
Ok, a little bit needy, but occasionally doting on your partner for no reason makes them feel valued. It's a bit of a red flag to have to say this, as it should be something they do as a surprise, but that should also be a two way street. Men need to feel wanted, too. Also, if you work normal business hours, you probably don't need to take a day off to go to dinner. Anyone who can just take a day off on a whim probably does. But whatever
>I'm a passenger princess
The word princess is the biggest, billowingest red flag to me. That's the first sign that this girl is going to be needy, clingy, and insufferable while bringing nothing to the table or never doing anything for their partner. It might be cute early on, but as the relationship progresses it will manifest itself in terrible ways. Unfortunately, in these situations, the man is left providing for both people on his own while the woman contributes nothing. That's building a relationship on a foundation made of sand. It certainly happens with the genders reversed as well, I just don't know what the male version of a "princess" is. But that word is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I agree with you on these assessments, I do think my travel buddy statement needs more context as to how I meant it. Some people love to travel and want a companion for it and that’s great! But I meant it more like… they’re looking for someome to finance their trips and take pictures for instagram while providing nothing.
>like what do you mean you’ve never folded your laundry or mopped a floor???
I have never folded laundry. What kind of single guy waste time on that? Honestly, there is a level of expectations to the other gender at play here :D
I can understand expecting people to know how to wash a floor.
But folding clother and laundry is not something most men care about.
I packed for trips.
Never felt a need to fold clothes in any way that would justify me saying "i know how to fold clothes". Just not a relevant skill to me.
I’m not big on folding most of my clothes but I have to for business trips. It makes ironing them so much easier. I also fold my t-shirts in half and roll them up before putting them away. That stops the wrinkles. I’ll also fold my shorts in half before putting them away. Clothes that hang up like shirts and pants don’t need folding unless traveling.
What I see from you not folding any clothes is someone who never needs to be in a situation that needs wrinkle free clothes. This doesn’t suggest good things about your job although you can be a plumber or other trade and make bank. Not caring about wrinkly clothes if on a date could also be an issue.
I'm a single man who folds his laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer. Why? Because otherwise it perma-wrinkles and makes me look sloppy while wearing it, and I don't like looking sloppy. Folding it also makes it easy to organize in a dresser, which means I always know where my clothes are and which ones are clean. I know a ton of guys who just throw their clean clothes in a pile with their dirty ones and then can't remember which is which. Inevitably they end up wearing a dirty shirt for days, which means they stink. Being able to perform basic domestic tasks sends the signal that you take care of yourself, which sends the signal that you can take care of a woman. Pretty simple stuff.
When every ex was a psycho
I've had relationships where I was the primary problem, when she was the primary problem, and when it just didn't work out
Nothing is ever black and white
I'll add to it, at my age (forties) they've never been in a long-term relationship
I'm sure there are just some people who have been unlucky for various reasons, but I learnt the hard way to tread carefully
Agreed. If "every ex was a psycho," this person probably caused the emotional instability.
I have a buddy who constantly complains that the women he's slept with are boring in bed. My assumption is it's him, not the women.
When you’re in a DM or one on one chat and you get the dreaded “why are you ignoring me messsge”. My bad I was working, appointment, taking care of dishes, on vacation, in the shower, or even sleeping!
Agreed, But because I'm really terrible at getting back with people there have been times when an exuberant amount of time has passed and that's definitely on me. Obviously if it's within side of a day in their responding in that manner I'm out But if I haven't responded to them in a couple of days by all means send me a message and tell me to get my head out of my ass 😅
Heh, right now I think that there's a lot that I'd forgive from my partner. But her saying something like that, with an attitude that she didn't need to care/stay active in the relationship, would be a strong nope.
Both of us gave literal **years** to our exes in hopes that they'd reprioritize "us" and help us fix things. Both of us are clear that we expect the other to stay active in working and wanting "us" to succeed and there's no way we'd allow the other months of nothing, much less years.
If I wasn't so happy here and now, I'd be so pissed about the time wasted and chances given with my ex wife.
Insecurity. When your partner gets weird about you looking at or talking to the opposite sex... There are too many people in this world for you to not find some of them attractive outside your partner...
"I have no limits"
...yeah you do. At the very least you have preferences. But realistically if you say that, I assume you have seen 1 (one) soft bondage porn and went "yeah this is the hardcore bdsm I heard about"
Yea, that is pretty shitty to ask.
When you get a question like that you should just go "i make enough. Say, how much does your mother weigh?", because the date is dead at that point anyway, and it is only fair.
When they constantly interrupt you or talk over you like a child. If you can't let me finish what I was saying then whatever you have to say isn't worth my time either. 🤷
If she tells you that she doesn't even need your credit card to talk to you on this very safe link from a conversation that started on how much we enjoy a particular anime.
What? Too specific?
I don't know... i feel like half the point of finding a partner, is because we want someone that can do some things we don't like or can't, and hopefully we can retuen the favour for them on other stuff.
Relationship is a team work.
"No one else would put up with you like I do."
If you ever hear this phrase, just go ahead an end the relationship. It's one of those phrases that should set off warning bells because it's almost always used to minimize harm or even justify abuse.
Being overly controlling.
The 2 examples that come to mind are when I was in LDRs. One said I couldn't visit or see any of my military buddies that lived in the same state as her. I should be her only focus ever.
One girl was really upset that I had female friends from way before I met her. Like the female friend was a sister to a best friend and she was married to another guy in our friend group. I distinctly remember doing some college math homework and she kept texting me to stop talking to the friend (when I wasn't).
Being overly controlling.
The 2 examples that come to mind are when I was in LDRs. One said I couldn't visit or see any of my military buddies that lived in the same state as her. I should be her only focus ever.
One girl was really upset that I had female friends from way before I met her. Like the female friend was a sister to a best friend and she was married to another guy in our friend group. I distinctly remember doing some college math homework and she kept texting me to stop talking to the friend (when I wasn't).
I've only known one exception to this. My best friend unintentionally tends to attract crazy and otherwise not good men, and while she keeps her guard high, there's some of those guys who can hold the façade long enough to where she'll date them for some time. She is a genuinely good person, I've known her for years and know she is, she's just struck out with anyone she's dated long term.
Can't take no for an answer. Doesn't even have to be anything sexual in nature, if you're gonna throw a fit over something because you can't have it or do it, I don't want any part of it.
Goes both ways too. I've chatted with some people on reddit in more sexual contexts, I like receiving pictures, but I know not everyone is comfortable with it, so any time I ask, I always prepare for and expect the answer to be no.
disrespectful to her parents and being against animals with no stated reason(for example allergy or somewhat childhood trauma, but if you couldn't overcome something in this much time then that's a problem too)
People who love themselves way too much. I think everyone should have some love for themselves, but the ones that think they are "da bomb" can fuck right off!
I remember when I was a teenager and had a crush on a girl (my friend's sister) she was decent enough looking back then, maybe a 7/10, but when she told me "I could have any guy I want" it was a real turn off. You'd think that she was prime Cindy Crawford the way that she was talking.
Adults treating HP as if it is great literature is pretty cringe...
Look, i get it, it was a great story and it mattered to you personally. That's fine. But it is not the greatest thing ever. Not even close.
Would not say being on ARAD is a red flag.
Would say "being open about being on ARAD" id a red flag :D
It's okay to be in weird/pervy subs, its another to not keep it a secret :P
>Cool, so... Let me know when you figure out what socialism means. Meanwhile, you and beat not use schools, government handouts, hospitals, the army etc... after all, I wouldn't want you to become infected with socialist ideas.
All of this is a great example of a red flag. Thank you.
Why do think i am triggered? Why do you even respond yourself?
I am just having fun because you keep giving me red flags in a post about red flags.
I am wondering if you are triggered, can't stop yourself from responding, and are now just projecting because you assume the worst about me.
Fair deal to you. To me, lots of tattoos is a massive red flag. One or two in places, fine, especially if they're complimentary to her, but once you start going beyond an arm's worth of tattoos, I start having questions
People who only give you attention because they need your help. Massive red flag, those are mostly mentally unstable, self destructive or self centered
Currently going through this, and it's so disappointing. If only she showed a modicum of empathy and self-awareness, there might be a future for us.
As a habitual people-pleaser, these people are my kryptonite (see also: ex-wife).
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
That is a bad mentality to have for sure
Often said by someone who hasn't shown anything remotely resembling their supposed best and their worst keeps getting deeper and deeper. If you can't show me your best, I don't care to see your worst.
when they always the victim
“All my exes are crazy”
All my exes ARE crazy, though. That's just my type. Also I seem to attract girls with daddy issues.
Many of my exes are crazy. The really dumb thing is that I ended all of my relationships with women who aren’t crazy. Yeah, the problem is me.
☝️
“I want a travel buddy” “Want a man to buy me a dress and tell me to take the day off work because he’s taking me out to dinner” “I’m a passenger princess” Tell me you’re gonna be entitled and won’t contribute anything to the relationship without actually saying it.
I’m a “passenger princess” but my husband doesn’t ever want me to drive, I handle navigation, open his drinks, feed him his food, and provide entertainment courtesy of my lovely singing.
My ex calls herself a 'Professional Passenger' &, after a situation developed where it WOULD HAVE BEEN BENEFICIAL FOR HER TO HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE, guess whom she called to pull her fat out of the country fire?
If I see it anywhere I run the other way. I don’t have the energy to deal with adult toddlers.
What's a passenger princess?
Someone that insists on being driven around while not doing any driving themselves. Usually in an arrogant way to imply they won’t be doing any work in the relationship.
Ooh
Yeah, it’s an instant turn off. And I love driving! I am however not a taxi.
Hey, I'm my partner's travel buddy. But she's the one paying the majority of our travels. She out earns me, and says that I'm a terrific travel companion and am more than worth it to bring with her. But yeah, I'm not a travel prince and look to contribute in our relationship.
My girlfriend is a passenger princess and i prefer it that way, her driving is horrible. She drives herself places, but when we’re together i drive.
>Travel buddy Sure, everyone likes to travel, and travelling together can be a crucible for a relationship. It's a good idea to travel with your partner before you take the relationship to the next level. >Want a man to buy me a dress and tell me to take the day off work because he's taking me out to dinner Ok, a little bit needy, but occasionally doting on your partner for no reason makes them feel valued. It's a bit of a red flag to have to say this, as it should be something they do as a surprise, but that should also be a two way street. Men need to feel wanted, too. Also, if you work normal business hours, you probably don't need to take a day off to go to dinner. Anyone who can just take a day off on a whim probably does. But whatever >I'm a passenger princess The word princess is the biggest, billowingest red flag to me. That's the first sign that this girl is going to be needy, clingy, and insufferable while bringing nothing to the table or never doing anything for their partner. It might be cute early on, but as the relationship progresses it will manifest itself in terrible ways. Unfortunately, in these situations, the man is left providing for both people on his own while the woman contributes nothing. That's building a relationship on a foundation made of sand. It certainly happens with the genders reversed as well, I just don't know what the male version of a "princess" is. But that word is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I agree with you on these assessments, I do think my travel buddy statement needs more context as to how I meant it. Some people love to travel and want a companion for it and that’s great! But I meant it more like… they’re looking for someome to finance their trips and take pictures for instagram while providing nothing.
when they’re in late 20’s early 30’s & can’t preform basic tasks like what do you mean you’ve never folded your laundry or mopped a floor???
>like what do you mean you’ve never folded your laundry or mopped a floor??? I have never folded laundry. What kind of single guy waste time on that? Honestly, there is a level of expectations to the other gender at play here :D I can understand expecting people to know how to wash a floor. But folding clother and laundry is not something most men care about.
so you’ve never packed for trips & needed to fold clothes? it’s a basic skill to know 😅
This is a hilarious coincidence lol
I packed for trips. Never felt a need to fold clothes in any way that would justify me saying "i know how to fold clothes". Just not a relevant skill to me.
I’m not big on folding most of my clothes but I have to for business trips. It makes ironing them so much easier. I also fold my t-shirts in half and roll them up before putting them away. That stops the wrinkles. I’ll also fold my shorts in half before putting them away. Clothes that hang up like shirts and pants don’t need folding unless traveling. What I see from you not folding any clothes is someone who never needs to be in a situation that needs wrinkle free clothes. This doesn’t suggest good things about your job although you can be a plumber or other trade and make bank. Not caring about wrinkly clothes if on a date could also be an issue.
> I have never folded laundry. What kind of single guy waste time on that? uhhhh...
I'm a single man who folds his laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer. Why? Because otherwise it perma-wrinkles and makes me look sloppy while wearing it, and I don't like looking sloppy. Folding it also makes it easy to organize in a dresser, which means I always know where my clothes are and which ones are clean. I know a ton of guys who just throw their clean clothes in a pile with their dirty ones and then can't remember which is which. Inevitably they end up wearing a dirty shirt for days, which means they stink. Being able to perform basic domestic tasks sends the signal that you take care of yourself, which sends the signal that you can take care of a woman. Pretty simple stuff.
When every ex was a psycho I've had relationships where I was the primary problem, when she was the primary problem, and when it just didn't work out Nothing is ever black and white I'll add to it, at my age (forties) they've never been in a long-term relationship I'm sure there are just some people who have been unlucky for various reasons, but I learnt the hard way to tread carefully
Agreed. If "every ex was a psycho," this person probably caused the emotional instability. I have a buddy who constantly complains that the women he's slept with are boring in bed. My assumption is it's him, not the women.
Being rude to service industry employees and have a dozen exes who were all “crazy and toxic.”
Heavy on the rude to service industry workers
Seeing her be mean to animals
I agree!There’s something unnerving about being mean to helpless animals,it makes my blood boil!🔥
When you’re in a DM or one on one chat and you get the dreaded “why are you ignoring me messsge”. My bad I was working, appointment, taking care of dishes, on vacation, in the shower, or even sleeping!
This! Because god forbid I do something other than sitting on Reddit to chat 24/7
Spot on. Preach!
Agreed, But because I'm really terrible at getting back with people there have been times when an exuberant amount of time has passed and that's definitely on me. Obviously if it's within side of a day in their responding in that manner I'm out But if I haven't responded to them in a couple of days by all means send me a message and tell me to get my head out of my ass 😅
Disney Adult.
At this point, i am inclined to agree
Being racist
“I know that no matter what I do, you’ll take me back.” Actually had this said to me
Oh, HEAVEN'S no!! I'm checking out at that point.
I sure did
Heh, right now I think that there's a lot that I'd forgive from my partner. But her saying something like that, with an attitude that she didn't need to care/stay active in the relationship, would be a strong nope. Both of us gave literal **years** to our exes in hopes that they'd reprioritize "us" and help us fix things. Both of us are clear that we expect the other to stay active in working and wanting "us" to succeed and there's no way we'd allow the other months of nothing, much less years. If I wasn't so happy here and now, I'd be so pissed about the time wasted and chances given with my ex wife.
Negativity
When they can't take accountability for anything
Insecurity. When your partner gets weird about you looking at or talking to the opposite sex... There are too many people in this world for you to not find some of them attractive outside your partner...
“Entrepreneur” in their bio with no clear sign of what they actually do in their very public profile.
*sigh* Mormon girls are so bad about this. No, hun, you're not an entrepreneur, you're in a pyramid scheme
When she cheated on a boyfriend
Any signs of abusive behaviour
“Most men can’t handle me. I’m a bitch.” Or having a pet chihuahua named lil bit.
When he labels himself als 'alpha'.
Agree and I'll add "high value" to the mix. Those two and "females" are automatic blocks.
What he labels himself as "beta"? :P Slightly better? Or worse?
Just the same.
A padlocked room in their house which you aren't allowed in and they get very angry when you keep asking questions about it.
Story time?!
I'm the ghost of hellakevin and all I can say is to stay away from the room and the room having person.
"I have no limits" ...yeah you do. At the very least you have preferences. But realistically if you say that, I assume you have seen 1 (one) soft bondage porn and went "yeah this is the hardcore bdsm I heard about"
Lying
The one waved at a race when it needs to stop.
When you're the one putting in all the effort to maintain a relationship
When she asks "How much money do you make?" on the first date. I'm almost inclined to tell her and then make a polite-yet-clean break after that.
Yea, that is pretty shitty to ask. When you get a question like that you should just go "i make enough. Say, how much does your mother weigh?", because the date is dead at that point anyway, and it is only fair.
Bloody handcuffs in the bathroom.
I feel like this is more of a circumstantial red flag for me…. But perhaps I’ve said too much.
Oh, please, reveal all! Horny minds need to know.
Disrespect
“He’s just a friend….” “All my ex’s are crazy”
Victim mentality! Like everyone owes them something
When they constantly interrupt you or talk over you like a child. If you can't let me finish what I was saying then whatever you have to say isn't worth my time either. 🤷
i would probably say the turkish flag
Specifically the huge one decorating the Northern Cyprus landscape!
[What about Tunisia? ](https://english.alarabiya.net/variety/2015/05/03/Tunisians-unfurl-world-s-largest-flag-)
Well now, that is certainly a huge red flag!
If she tells you that she doesn't even need your credit card to talk to you on this very safe link from a conversation that started on how much we enjoy a particular anime. What? Too specific?
When they cheat
For me it’s kids. If she’s got kids I run. I’ve dated women with kids before and it’s just impossible.
Guys who refuse to go down on a woman, but then complain when they aren't given a blowjob (and this goes vice versa ofc)
Ego. All it takes is a few minutes of being with someone and you can feel it'll be off.
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I don't know... i feel like half the point of finding a partner, is because we want someone that can do some things we don't like or can't, and hopefully we can retuen the favour for them on other stuff. Relationship is a team work.
Communist Military Parades.
The people's flag.
"No one else would put up with you like I do." If you ever hear this phrase, just go ahead an end the relationship. It's one of those phrases that should set off warning bells because it's almost always used to minimize harm or even justify abuse.
Being attracted to me!
Any time the term '8 inches' are used in a slutty confession
For me, people using inches in the first place is a turnoff :P
Being overly controlling. The 2 examples that come to mind are when I was in LDRs. One said I couldn't visit or see any of my military buddies that lived in the same state as her. I should be her only focus ever. One girl was really upset that I had female friends from way before I met her. Like the female friend was a sister to a best friend and she was married to another guy in our friend group. I distinctly remember doing some college math homework and she kept texting me to stop talking to the friend (when I wasn't).
Being overly controlling. The 2 examples that come to mind are when I was in LDRs. One said I couldn't visit or see any of my military buddies that lived in the same state as her. I should be her only focus ever. One girl was really upset that I had female friends from way before I met her. Like the female friend was a sister to a best friend and she was married to another guy in our friend group. I distinctly remember doing some college math homework and she kept texting me to stop talking to the friend (when I wasn't).
"All my exes are crazy" nah it's them that's crazy
I've only known one exception to this. My best friend unintentionally tends to attract crazy and otherwise not good men, and while she keeps her guard high, there's some of those guys who can hold the façade long enough to where she'll date them for some time. She is a genuinely good person, I've known her for years and know she is, she's just struck out with anyone she's dated long term.
Can't take no for an answer. Doesn't even have to be anything sexual in nature, if you're gonna throw a fit over something because you can't have it or do it, I don't want any part of it. Goes both ways too. I've chatted with some people on reddit in more sexual contexts, I like receiving pictures, but I know not everyone is comfortable with it, so any time I ask, I always prepare for and expect the answer to be no.
The Soviet Union's flag
disrespectful to her parents and being against animals with no stated reason(for example allergy or somewhat childhood trauma, but if you couldn't overcome something in this much time then that's a problem too)
Background of cheating
A swastika forehead tattoo.
Melancholy without reason
If she has an Adam's.apple
When she has no girlfriends, but lots of guy friends
People who love themselves way too much. I think everyone should have some love for themselves, but the ones that think they are "da bomb" can fuck right off!
Not wanting kids
I remember when I was a teenager and had a crush on a girl (my friend's sister) she was decent enough looking back then, maybe a 7/10, but when she told me "I could have any guy I want" it was a real turn off. You'd think that she was prime Cindy Crawford the way that she was talking.
Disney Adults and people who are still obsessed with Harry Potter
Adults treating HP as if it is great literature is pretty cringe... Look, i get it, it was a great story and it mattered to you personally. That's fine. But it is not the greatest thing ever. Not even close.
Being on ARAD
Would not say being on ARAD is a red flag. Would say "being open about being on ARAD" id a red flag :D It's okay to be in weird/pervy subs, its another to not keep it a secret :P
So, being insecure about what you like and keeping secrets = green flag? Got it.
No. Understanding that somethings are better kept private, and that you don't need to share everything is a green flag.
We clearly have two separate visions on what's a relationship, no use trying to make you see it my way.
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To me socialist women is a red flag 🤔
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>Cool, so... Let me know when you figure out what socialism means. Meanwhile, you and beat not use schools, government handouts, hospitals, the army etc... after all, I wouldn't want you to become infected with socialist ideas. All of this is a great example of a red flag. Thank you.
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Oh the irony...
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Why do think i am triggered? Why do you even respond yourself? I am just having fun because you keep giving me red flags in a post about red flags. I am wondering if you are triggered, can't stop yourself from responding, and are now just projecting because you assume the worst about me.
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Oh the irony...
Lots and lots of tattoos
Hell naw. Despite me always thinking "no tattoos that can't be hidden from a judge," my most amazing partner has a frigging neck tattoo!
Fair deal to you. To me, lots of tattoos is a massive red flag. One or two in places, fine, especially if they're complimentary to her, but once you start going beyond an arm's worth of tattoos, I start having questions
China
Tequila shots