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A few weeks ago, I put unleaded in my diesel car while distracted and on autopilot. The AA guy, while doing the costly fuel emptying/cleaning, said he's had a couple of occasions where he's emptied and cleaned the tank then got the driver to fill up and they've done exactly the same thing again! I count myself lucky I only did it the once.
Exactly! Every time we filled it up (which wasn't too often because 70mpg) we had to triple check we were filling with the right juice.
It didn't help we had a petrol Fortwo as well which also had the green cap!
I almost did the opposite once, drove up to the diesel pump and got out and was about to start filling my car when an older man (I was a really young woman) called out and asked if I was sure I had a diesel car. (In a nice way, like being a Dad in Public for a minute). He saved me a lot of trouble! 😅 My own dad might’ve murdered me if I had called him two hours from home and had to tell him I’d just filled my tank with diesel.
I don't think you would have been able to actually do it anyway. I'm pretty sure a diesel nozzle is wider than a petrol nozzle, so you can put petrol in a diesel tank because the small nozzle will fit the larger hole, but the larger diesel nozzle won't go into the hole for a petrol tank.
Which seems backwards to me because diesel will technically work in a petrol engine, but putting petrol in a diesel engine can be pretty catastrophic for the engine.
Said to my husband "Pull in at the garage, I need petrol."
He just looked at me in a WTF way from the driver's seat of his car and said "OK, but we're in my car you know!"
Best friends mum did this with her firstborn. Wheeled the pram to the shop, left it outside while she did her shopping (this was the 60's) then walked home without the pram and baby.
She knew she'd forgotten something but couldn't work out what it was.
My Nan did the same to my mum lol she was in Margate town centre. She left her outside a shop, got a bus home and then after a few hours of watching tv, she thought my mum would be hungry soon and went to get her a bottle. She realised she wasn’t there, started freaking out and got a taxi back to town. She was still fast asleep in her pram outside the shop 😂
This was the 60s too…. That pram definitely wouldn’t still be there if it happened now
I drove to the shops. About a mile. Went to the Post Office, then to the mini supermarket for milk, bread, and wotnot and put them in the car. Then, I walked up the road to the chemist to pick up a prescription.
Oh, the library is just round the corner, I'll take out a couple of books for the weekend.
Proceeded to carry on home in the same direction.
THINKS: Why is there no car on the drive?
Oh yes, I left it outside the Post Office.
I did my 6000 steps that day.
Back when I was a bit of a stoner, I went into my kitchen, flopped out the old fella and started pissing in my kitchen bin.
Realised after a tiny bit went into the bin then WTF'd at myself and ran into the toilet to finish the deed.
Then a few months later, same thing happened, but I was standing next to the urinal at fucking work (sober obvs), but almost started pissing in the bin that had the used paper towels in them. Thankfully it was just a side step to the urinal and no one else was in there.
Fast forward 15 years to last week and I was in the living room waiting for the Mrs to get ready so we could pop out and see mates. I had a can of beer in one hand, and vape in the other. I raised the beer can to my lips, pressed the button on the vape then inhaled the beer straight down my throat and nearly choked.
I once went into the bathroom and pissed in the bath while my dad was brushing his teeth. I think that was the first time he realised that weed and alcohol had entered my life.
Got woken up by my then wife. I was stood at the bedroom window in the middle of the night trying to turn off someone else's car alarm with a TV remote.
Morning coffee after an early wake up from very, very angry baby.
Milk formula in a mug. Coffee in the bottle. Thankfully noticed very quickly, or that day would have been 1000% worse.
Usually my mind short circuits on simpler ways. Going to the fridge for a plate or being annoyed at a card machine for not recognising my phone pin...
I started reading this and I don't know why it immediately brought back one of many memories during the first few months of having a baby years ago now. As I went to feed my baby, my husband was holding him ready to take the bottle off me to do it and I bent down and started fastening the bib around my husbands neck and wondering to myself why it wouldn't fit... the deadpan look on his face staring at me like "wtf are you doing?" broke my trance lol.
I don’t know why but reading this has cheered me up after a few weeks of little sleep. When my son was first born I scooped the formula directly onto the kitchen worktop. I didn’t even have the bottle out. I just stared at it like ‘hmm something isn’t right here’.
A close friend emptied out a prepared bottle of baby formula, swilled it out. Went back to the fridge for a can of Carling and poured it into the baby's bottle. Luckily my partner was there and questioned her actions before it reached the little one.
In her defence she'd had an epileptic seizure 5minutes previous, she didn't drink alcohol at all.
Back in the days of VHS tapes… when I found a tape in the fridge, I had an idea as to where my wife may have put the sausages.
In the living room, on top of the VHS recorder.
We never did figure out what caused that brain fart.
I literally did the cheese in the cupboard thing! But it was while getting a glass of water in the middle of the night. I've no clue how it happened lol
Was at a gig many years ago. Bought a chocolate bar, ate it, put the change in my pocket and threw away the wrapper. Went to the bar later to get a drink and tried to pay with a chocolate bar wrapper. Had thrown the fiver in the bin.
Started to boil the kettle whilst cooking dinner, turned around to sort something out for my three year old, turned back and realised I had put the electric kettle on the gas hob, melted the bottom and almost started a fire.
My mum had this weird habit of running round after me as an adult to clear things. So she pushed the kettle back into the corner and went upstairs to clean. She'd jammed the button against an appliance. If I wasn't there i would've boiled for10-15mins
I’ve been on the phone to my mum, and had the phone in “the wrong hand”, and been panicking looking in my pockets cos I’ve lost my phone. Luckily mum was sensible and asked how I was talking to her.
Found my glasses in the fridge once.
It's pretty hard to find your glasses when you're not wearing your glasses. But then you open the fridge to put the chilled eye mask back in to cool....
Also for when you have shopping in the work fridge that you need for the evening, which is when I use this. The occasional walk back to the office from the car park good for the soul.
I've done tons of these things.
But my favourite was actually chatting to a colleague who, at the time, was a new father. I asked the same question about what daft stuff he'd done (due to sleep deprivation), and he swore blind he just "didn't make those sorts of silly mistakes".
As he's saying this, I'm watching him scoop coffee into a cereal bowl. He had this sudden moment of enlightenment/embarrassment when he realised what he was doing. Still makes me chuckle
We had a big party back in the student days. Afterwards we couldn't find the remote, assumed some prick had stolen it, we had to walk over to the telly to operate it which became a bit of a palaver with arguments about whos turn it was to do it for about 3 weeks until someone found the remote in the freezer under a bag of peas.
Defrosted it and gave it a few hours for the condensation to leave and it worked just fine, we could go back to sitting motinoless for hours with only having to roll a joint to interrupt the calm.
Haha brilliant! Sounds like typical day after party shenanigans.
I was at a party once and as soon as the host passed out, someone found a screwdriver and removed his living room door. He texted the group chat the next day asking why it was in his bedroom.
I’ve never really misplaced anything like that, but I have tried to scratch my eyelid without remembering to close my eye first, so I’ve got other problems.
Not me, but my wife.
It was our oldest daughter's first day of senior school, so my wife took a photo of her dressed in her uniform and ready to go. My wife sent me the photo, then a couple of minutes later I start getting panicked messages about her not being able to find the house keys; she's looked everywhere, they're not in the kitchen or by the bed or any of the other usual places and have I taken them because is going to be late etc. etc.
The photo my wife sent has our daughter stood in our hallway by the front door. The door has my wife's keys hanging from the lock. It was one of those locks where you can only have one key in at a time and I locked the door behind when I left for work so she must have unlocked the door before taking the photo. So I sent her the photo back with MS-Paint airbrushed arrows pointing pointing to the keys. I remind her about it every time I can't find something she's asked me to get.
Also: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWDRdvZsCyE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWDRdvZsCyE)
I tried to put the kettle in the fridge instead of the milk.
Actually the worst was when I was holding someone's new puppy and I, being used to having cats, chucked it (to be fair a small distance, but enough that it let out a yelp and panic ensued)
I dropped a disabled cat once, his back legs didn't work right. I wasn't thinking and I just dropped him from about hip height! I felt TERRIBLE but he was okay, he just did a rolly-poly and looked at me, betrayed, like the awful person I am
At the time it wasn't funny! Now that I got over it I can see the humour, but oh I was guilty for days!
That said, we were hanging out with the neighbour cat and he fell off the table- the face of panic was SO funny I still laugh when I think about it! He left a big claw mark in the wood and every time I look at it I laugh again
I've walked home from work to realise I've left my car at work a few times. I usually walk, but sometimes I pop somewhere at lunch or have to take heavy stuff in, so take the car. My brain isn't used to me taking the car!
Brilliant! Not quite as good as yours but I remember when I was in junior school, I once walked home because I forgot my backpack only to find it was on my back the whole time.
Hahaha! See now this reminds me, I once got to work (50 min journey of tube & walking) & realised I had a big sticker on the front of my dress I just bought that weekend saying 'ONLY £5!'. I'm just mad no one made an offer?! That's a good deal, a dress & a stupid woman in it.
https://preview.redd.it/u6pz1eqkeh7d1.jpeg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3fb3fb0a6a933475512e0885bfa189ca085da04
Opened the cutlery drawer to find my husband had ‘put the bacon away’
My mum's glasses turned up in the freezer once under a thick layer of frost.
Once after being awake for 48 hours straight I folded my clothes neatly and put them in the toilet. Then I just stood there, watching them soak up bog water, thinking "I know this isn't right but I'm not sure why "
>
> Once after being awake for 48 hours straight I folded my clothes neatly and put them in the toilet. Then I just stood there, watching them soak up bog water, thinking "I know this isn't right but I'm not sure why "
i get sleep deprivation but WTF?!
this has broke me laughing....
my ribs hurt hahhaahahahahhaa
Put the harness and lead on the dog, walked out the house locked the door and walked down the road. I’d left the dog in the house… went back to find her stood in the hallway very confused.
I was making some toast at work whilst talking to my colleague who was in the kitchen. Toasted it, got the butter out of the fridge, buttered my toast making sure to get it absolutely perfect around the edges.
Then immediately threw it in the bin.
The look on my colleagues face was utter bewilderment, I had to go and sit in the toilets for 10 minutes to calm down.
Milk in the cupboard under the sink, fabric conditioner in the fridge. I've also put fabric conditioner in my tea once, they look similar but thankfully smell very different so I didn't drink any
I was pissed but I wanted to do the dishes. I put too much liquid on the sponge, and I used the shot glass I've been drinking out of to remove some. Did a couple of pots and my auto-pilot drunk brain saw the shot, didn't even question the pink stuff in it, and drank it all. It was diluted 1:1, I think, so it went down easily.
It took me 10 seconds to realise what I've done. I can not stand the smell of pomegranate Fairy ever since.
Couldn't find my remote, spent day looking for it. It was in the fridge.
Couldn't find remote for a 2nd time. No idea what made me check, but it was in the bin.
I am fully blaming menopause and not my stupidity!
I think as it's often a mindless action, without paying much attention, open fridge, pop something in there without really acknowledging what you are doing! Grab something from the fridge, mindlessly pop it back, without really thinking about it!
I was once working 16 hour shifts to keep a business afloat through some hard times. I would wake up at 3 in the morning and drive to my colleague's house, have a coffee there then on to work. This particular day they had 2 seperate pint bottles in the fridge, one opened and one unopened. So I pick up the opened bottle to make the coffee. Me and my colleague sat there still half asleep at that time of the morning wondering why the coffee tasted weird, I got half way through my mug of coffee and my colleague got up and looked in the fridge and noticed I'd used the banana milkshake they'd ordered from the milk man the previous morning. Yup coffee and banana milkshake. Gave us a rare chuckle for that time of the morning.
Yep. Not my finest moment. It was only a few streets down from where I moved to. I was quite lucky that we knew the "new" occupants quite well and they had a sense of humour about it, that could have been a very bad day.
Dropped baby off at my parents, got bus to hospital appt. Left hospital, got bus home. Phone call from parents an hour later - "er, were you coming back at all...?" Oops.
Mine left me in a trolley in Asda car park in the next town over, got home and put the shopping away, my dad realised and got on his motorbike to find me while she calmed down enough to drive back. Luckily the girls in the shop liked looking after babies.
My mum did this to me as well! I’ve heard it’s quite common (leaving your baby somewhere, not specifically at boots haha) since you’re so sleep deprived and also your brain hasn’t adjusted yet to the baby being part of your routine tasks
Oh Christ 🫣This reminds me of a few years ago when I came home from work feeling absolutely knackered. I was hungry and needed the loo so I decided to grab some chicken bites first, got these out of the fridge then I saw the microwave door open and put the chicken bites inside then closed the door without eating any of them 😣
Went up stairs, took off my work jacket and threw it on the bathroom floor then went into my bedroom and started unzipping in front of the paper bin🫣
I stopped myself before anything could happen, it felt like I had just woken up and was rather startled. Went to the bathroom and found my jacket which confused me even more.
Once I had gone to the loo I realised I was hungry and remembered I had some chicken bites in fridge! Yum! So i hurried to the kitchen and found no chicken bites “Strange?” I thought, but just assumed someone had eaten them so I grabbed a packet of rice and decided I’ll have rice & gravy (People call me old for having it but it’s bloody delicious when you need a quick meal).
Anyway! I opened the microwave and found the chicken bites. 🤦🏻♂️
I went the bed afterwards before I could misplace anything else. Not my proudest moment for sure.
Years ago, my dad fell asleep around 4am standing up (like in The Sims) and found a dinner plate stacked on top of the breakfast bowls and a tea towel in the fridge the next morning.
I once had a massive chest freezer by the front door - the only place it would fit.
On more than one occasion we found post in the freezer.
Still not sure why.
Holding a sandwich in one hand and my phone in the other. Got distracted by something outside the window, forgot which hand was holding what and tried to take a bite out of my phone
Due to massive pain issues and health problems take a few tablets through day. Also kind of bed bound due to pain and sleep at weird times.
Woke up at 130am for a pee and started to organise my meds for 2pm thinking was 130pm. Once woke up at 730am for a pee. Pottered about and then took my all evening medications for that day. Rang 111 and they worked out I didn't need A&E/ED it was a close thing.
Put sugar in fridge.
Cooking supper, answered call on mobile then when finished put phone in fridge.
Microwaved jacket potato as potato part of supper then microwaved mashed potato. Kept jacket potato in fridge for next day.
Few times have put washing on without washing liquid pod in machine.
I spent several minutes looking for my phone, complaining to my buddy that I can’t go until I find it, not in my pocket that’s the work phone, damn where did I put it..?
The bastard just waited for me to realise how I was talking to him 🤪
Took my wedding ring off before going to the gym like always. Rather than leaving it in the usual place, I put it in the bathroom bin. Luckily I found it before the bin contents were chucked out.
I lost my keys after a night out in London and following an exhaustive search I gave up on ever finding them.
Around 4 months later when we were moving out of our shared house they turned in a plastic bag in the Fridge along with a can of beer.
Cleaning up books and papers on the desk ***without realising my ipad*** and placed them aside. Spent nearly half an hour then trying to find the ipad, couldn’t be more happier to have airtag now
My mum went through a phase of putting her purse in the cupboard.
I remember I lost my tamagotchi once and found it in the fridge where I’d left it getting some orange juice out.
I have a 6 month old so everything is on autopilot, I was having a cig at work yesterday. Lit it and went to put my lighter back in pocket, I put the lit cig in my pocket and lighter in my mouth. Took me a minute to figure out what had happened.
I’ve definitely done the classic of looking for my glasses while wearing them.
Another good one is the brain scramble that happened when I put my glasses on when I already had my contact lenses in then wondered why the hell I couldn’t see!
A few years ago, we lived on an estate with a little Sainsburys in the middle, which was always open late. One night we needed some bits, so my partner stopped at the shop behind our house on her way home. She parked, got some shopping, and then walked home.
The next morning, we noticed the car wasn't on the drive, so we started panicking, called the police and reported it stolen.
Obviously, she had walked home on autopilot, forgetting she had driven to the shop as usually we would do the minute walk. I had gone around to all the neighbours with Ring doorbells asking if they'd seen anything. I was so embarrassed explaining to them afterwards that it was, in fact, never stolen.
The police quickly located the 'stolen' car at the shop and got it towed miles away to the towyard.
We had to pay £250 for the recovery so we could take it home again 🤦♀️
In the same vein I once spread soap all over my face thinking it was moisteriser. I remember thinking "why does it feel so different today?" lol. I realised soon after that it felt different because it was soap! The bottles are side to side but nothing alike.
Done something like that when I wasn't feeling great
Put the milk in the cupboard with the tins, and tried putting the kettle in the fridge.. which was the point I twigged what I had done and remedied it. We had a laugh about it
I use instant coffee as that's how I grew up and I can't be arsed with the additional faff of brewing proper coffee
One morning, half asleep I poured water into the coffee jar instead of the mug.
I've also frequently poured unboiled water into mugs for tea / coffee.
Running around the house looking for my shoes that I know for a fact I put by the back door only to find them on my feet 🤦♀️ hysterical laughter from the accused family for moving them 😬
I wonder if anyone has poured their freshly boiled spaghetti down the sink and ended up with a yummy pan of spaghetti water left.
I feel like I'm close to doing this every time.
I cycle to work, come back in the back gate to lock my bike in the shed after, then carry my stuff up to the house. Except a couple of times now I've put things down in the garden while I put my bike away and...just left them there.
First time it was my work bag out for the weekend (oops).
Second time it was my (e-)bike battery and charger - which I left out in the rain for a long weekend 😬 almost a very expensive/explosive mistake!
I've done teaspoon in the bin teabag in the sink more times than I care to admit. I think most people have done that at some point.
I once lost the Sky remote. Pretty much pulled the living room apart looking for it. I eventually found in in the kitchen on top of the breadbin. No idea why I even took it into the kitchen.
Back in the old days of CRT TVs that had a little panel that popped out where you could tune in the channels, I decided this was a good place to hide my wages after getting home from the pub.
You know, putting it away safe.
Didn't find it for three weeks.
Sleep deprived after a night shift. Tried to simultaneously make a sandwich and write a note for my husband. Somehow sharpied a slice of bread instead of buttering it.
We were putting the shopping away and couldn't figure out where the toilet rolls had gone. I was sure we had brought them but couldn't find them anywhere.
Thought we had left them at the shop so I went back but naturally they didn't know as they had so many people going through and anything that was left went back on the shelf.
So I took the hit and brought some more. Got home and though it was a good time for a coffee after all that trauma. Opened the fridge to get the milk out and there was the original pack of toilet rolls sat in there amongst all the chilled stuff. I must have just put them in there without thinking.
This was 25 years ago and my wife still ribs me about it to this day.
After working 60-70+ hours on a show, I was coming home and making my lunch for the next day. I was so exhausted I put the cheese away in the cutlery drawer. I hadn’t even realised it had happened until my house mate found it.
We were going on holiday to mallorca/minorca can't remember which one. We where taking the car to the airport. Get up, load the car and set off, 20 mins later the Mrs goes "why are we at your work" I dunno, think I was just in auto pilot
Putting the kettle in the fridge as if it were a milk bottle, spraying shaving foam into my armpits instead of deodorant, and turning up to work on my day off. Thankfully not all on the same day though.
While making coffee, after putting the coffee grinds to the filter, I just grabbed a carton of milk and almost poured it on the coffee. Mid-pour ( just before ) I stopped and asked myself outloud "What the hell am I doing?!"
Went to flick the excess water out of my milk steaming jug like I always do after rinsing it. I actually threw quite a lot of milk across the kitchen counter instead.
I drove almost the same initial part of aroute to work every day for a while, in a van, fully loaded. Had to go over a fairly non conspicuous bridge too. I remember one day getting near to where we were going to work and I realised I had no memory whatsoever of crossing that bridge, or of anything to do with driving for the previous 40 something minutes.
I jumped in the van in the morning, knew the first job was at X location, and lizard brain took over, leaving me to daydream.
Kinda freaked me out.
Drove to school to pick up the kids, and then walked home. Didn’t realise until that evening and school gate was locked, had to sheepishly collect it in the morning.
My mate rang me to let me know they were outside and to come out to their car. I spent 5 mins looking for my phone, until I finally realised it was in my hand and I was talking to them on said phone. Even my friend didn’t think to say, you’re taking to me on your phone and was suggesting places it could be
A mate I work with had his work van robbed a couple of years ago. Some guys broke in to the back door, found the van keys and took it for a joy ride and stole some bits out the back.
He has a jag and bmw on the drive as his and his wife’s cars. They weren’t stolen cos the keys were in the fridge.
I have taken the milk out of the fridge. I have taken a glass from the cupboard. I fill the glass with milk. I put the milk in the cupboard.
I have done this more than once.
Recently, I woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep, despite being knackered. So I got up and took the dog for a walk at 5.30am. As we exited the park I shoved my phone in the Dog Poo Bin, rather than the bag of dog poo I was holding.
I work in VR and most of my recreation is vr and sometimes my brain gets a little confused. I'll think an irl wall is noclip and just go straight at it. Or be in VR and try to put a real mug on a virtual table. Sometimes I try to use my thumb to teleport like I'm in meta/steam home area. Sometimes I look at my wrist to check performance metrics of real life.
I'm fine, no really.
I have found my keys in the fridge after turning the house upside down one morning. I think I must have made tea, and whilst loading my car for work put the keys in with the milk. The other faux pas, same car same job was we were told had to remove the company laptop from the car when we were not at work. I was on call, didn't want to forget the laptop so leave it by the front door so cannot open the door without seeing it. Got called small hours of the morning, made a cuppa, grabbed my kit and loaded the car. In the process I put the laptop down on the ground behind the car (a 4x4 Frontera at the time) climbed in and revered over it.
Surprisingly it was fine, really did think that was going to take some explaining.
After a heavy night I got up in the following morning to make a cup of tea, got the milk out the fridge and it was a new bottle with the seal on.
Taken the seal off the milk and instead of throwing it in the bin, I was pouring the milk into the bin. Taken me a good few seconds to realise what I was doing
I use a USB vape and wired earphones, both plugged into my computer. Once I picked up both and simultaneously tried to put my vape in my ear and my earphone in my mouth.
I had a drink in one hand and my phone in the other, I meant to throw my phone on my bed but threw the drink lol, not my best moment. Thankfully I’ve forgotten most of the embarrassing/dumb things I’ve done growing up so yay.
Recycling in the washing machine, which happens to be right next to the recycling bin. Didn't realise until I went to get the washing out and found two (sparkling clean, in fairness) bottles in with all the clothes.
When i first moved to the UK i was 18 and lived with two blokes. One was 20 Johnny, and the other was 40 Mick. The 40 year old bloke Mick was a bit of a grumpy bastard and we used to play pranks on him. One of the pranks we used to play on him was swapping out the toothpaste tube in the bathroom for a tube of anusol. Mick found it, came into my bedroom laughing and threw it at me "You've got to get up earlier in the morning to get me with that one son!" Every so often we'd try it again, and he'd find it. After about three months, one Saturday morning, Mick, hungover FINALLY brushed his teeth with Anusol. He shouted "YOU FUCKEN CHEEKY LITTLE FUCKEN CUNTS!!!!!" while spitting out Anusol and me and Johnny pissed ourselves laughing.
TV remote in fridge years ago. And only yesterday "came to" putting shopping away, wondering why I was about to put the bread in the fridge. Realised there were probably yoghurts in the bread bin.
Also set off for work on a Sunday once when very tired and the family was away for a week.
Used to commute 60 miles each way from Sussex to London on a Motorcycle.
Cant tell you how many times ( after 115000 miles over 5 years ) I sat at my desk and thought 'which route did I take to work today?'
Spent 20 mins looking for my phone this morning, even stopped the washing machine cause I panicked I'd put it in there, only to find it in my back pocket
Found my keys in the fruit bowl … I had chucked them in the bag with the shopping and they somehow found their way into the net bag of oranges. I tore my house apart trying to find them!
My other half came to me the other day and asked why I'd put toothpaste in the fridge...
I can only assume I'd not been concentrating when I'd been putting the shopping away
On tired days my common one is when making coffee either trying to put the kettle back in the fridge (instead of the milk) wondering why it doesn't fit, or trying to return the kettle to the cup cupboard. 😳
Brain fog is very real and is just a part of life 🤣
I keep putting the tv remote control in the fridge. Swear I’m mad sometimes.
I’ve also put cooled water (bottle from the fridge) over my cereal instead of milk.
I’ve put tea and coffee in the same cup when making multiple beverages.
Ive brewed a tea for hours (starting, then forgetting). Also boiled an egg for hours.
I’ve taken an empty bag out with me leaving my stuff at home when going to work.
I should see a doctor, right ?
My favorite was pouring out some squash, forgetting to go fill it with water, downing the neat squash a few minutes later, choking on the neat squash then repeating the whole process not 5 mins later.
There was also the time I nearly tried to brush my teeth with hand soap.
Autopilot/Pregnancy Brain
I was given a bag of vegetables by my mother in law when we visited her and I’m notorious for not having a bag with me when I go out, so I put my purse in the vegetable bag to save me from carrying it in my hands.
Fast forward a few days and I’m panicking because I can’t find my purse anywhere! I’ve frozen my cards and I’m at the point of going to cancel them and get new ones… when I go to use the vegetable that I put in the fridge, still in the bag and voila! There’s my purse and my (nearly) quite literally frozen cards!
I think the worst thing I did was I once left an entire bag of shopping in the car for 2 weeks. Unfortunately it was frozen food as well including chicken. By the time I realised it was disgusting and I needed to buy an air freshener for the boot...
I made dinner once running off 2 hours sleep and the dinner ended up in the sink and I put the knife, fork and plate in the bin.
I made myself a sandwich and fucked off to bed afterwards and the next morning I was really confused as to why sausage, mash and onion gravy was in the sink staring up at me.
Insomnia is not fun!
About 3 months ago, my Grandfather who I was close to died. I was pretty much on auto pilot for about a month. My husband found the TV remote in the fridge, then my purse.
The funniest one was apparently when he found a pile of clothes in the dishwasher. I'd opened the dishwasher to load dishes and on autopilot just shoved clothes (that I was wanting to wash) in there. It hadn't been switched on yet thank God.
My ADHD husband put his phone in the bin then proceeded to panic for an hour getting really upset at the thought of losing our son's baby photos because he also doesn't back his stuff up to the cloud. He found his phone eventually but it was a mad panic.
My OH called me while I was on the way home from work to ask where the MILK LID is? I have no idea I’m just finished work and on the way home… When I got in, looked everywhere. Turns out it was in the fridge but like someone had just thrown it in, at the back of the shelf, not actually on the milk bottle 😅 I wasn’t home so he must have done it on autopilot. How strange!
Frequently end up with coffee in the cereal bowl and cereal in the coffee mug. I've also put a freshly made mug of coffee in the fridge instead of putting the milk away.
A few years ago whilst I was on autopilot I accidentally mixed one of those Batchelors cup a soups with coffee <\_<
One time when I was in high school, I got up in the morning put on my school uniform and had a wash and cleaned by teeth then realised it was Saturday <\_<
Sometimes I put the butter or cheese in the cupboard. Sometimes I leave ice cream out until it's fully melted. As for keys, I just throw them into the most idiotic places.
Put the cat in the fridge and the milk on the floor. Was only for literally 3 seconds . Opened the fridge and the cat lept out and bolted . Took a while to recover from that
That's a work-daily stress-related problem or if you are aged a sign of dementia.
I am still young at 56 and things like this happen more often these days.
Sometimes I lose my focus on things that I started and get involved in some other activities .
At work, I am still capable of doing multiple activities at the same time, but at home when I am more relaxed, I start to forget them.
When I lived with my parents I lost the front door key. I lost it for about 8 years. I found it in the airing cupboard. On a shelf up high. I put it there to keep it safe. I have no idea why I did it but it made sense at the time.
Woke up one early one morning around 4am, busting for a piss, after falling asleep on the sofa. Half asleep, walked into the downstairs loo, had the longest most satisfying slash, then went up to bed. The next morning my wife asked why there was water in the cupboard under the stairs. I then realised I'd walked into the under stairs cupboard next to the toilet.
Last year a few months before my wedding I somehow managed to lose my engagement ring. Just slipped off my finger. I was absolutely shattered that day from work and all the wedding prep. Luckily I was in the house all day, so me and my now husband turned the whole house upside down to find it. I even went looking through the rubbish in the bin. Couldn't find it. We repeated this cycle of turning the house upside down probably once every week for a month till I gave up and just had to accept the ring was lost forever. Then about a week or two before the wedding, I was emptying the freezer as we were about to fly out in the next few days. Found the ring in the freezer drawer sitting on top of the ice cube tray, which was covered with a pack of garlic bread, so I never noticed it before. Normally it's my husband losing shit all over the house and getting me to find the missing items. Whenever I bitch about that, he always says " well at least I didn't lose my engagement ring in the freezer for over a month " lol. Cheeky fucker.
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A few weeks ago, I put unleaded in my diesel car while distracted and on autopilot. The AA guy, while doing the costly fuel emptying/cleaning, said he's had a couple of occasions where he's emptied and cleaned the tank then got the driver to fill up and they've done exactly the same thing again! I count myself lucky I only did it the once.
I've painted the fuel caps black or green on my vehicles, then my absent minded brain only has to match the colour even if I'm not paying attention
Genius! Seems like something car manufacturers should be doing already
Our diesel Smart Fortwo came with a green fuel cap!
In UK unleaded is green and diesel black 😵💫
Exactly! Every time we filled it up (which wasn't too often because 70mpg) we had to triple check we were filling with the right juice. It didn't help we had a petrol Fortwo as well which also had the green cap!
All fun and games until one country or company chooses a completely different colour scheme.
They’re the other way round in the USA
I almost did the opposite once, drove up to the diesel pump and got out and was about to start filling my car when an older man (I was a really young woman) called out and asked if I was sure I had a diesel car. (In a nice way, like being a Dad in Public for a minute). He saved me a lot of trouble! 😅 My own dad might’ve murdered me if I had called him two hours from home and had to tell him I’d just filled my tank with diesel.
Love this!
I don't think you would have been able to actually do it anyway. I'm pretty sure a diesel nozzle is wider than a petrol nozzle, so you can put petrol in a diesel tank because the small nozzle will fit the larger hole, but the larger diesel nozzle won't go into the hole for a petrol tank. Which seems backwards to me because diesel will technically work in a petrol engine, but putting petrol in a diesel engine can be pretty catastrophic for the engine.
Filled the car with petrol, paid, walked home.
Said to my husband "Pull in at the garage, I need petrol." He just looked at me in a WTF way from the driver's seat of his car and said "OK, but we're in my car you know!"
good excuse to buy a jerry can.
Best friends mum did this with her firstborn. Wheeled the pram to the shop, left it outside while she did her shopping (this was the 60's) then walked home without the pram and baby. She knew she'd forgotten something but couldn't work out what it was.
My Nan did the same to my mum lol she was in Margate town centre. She left her outside a shop, got a bus home and then after a few hours of watching tv, she thought my mum would be hungry soon and went to get her a bottle. She realised she wasn’t there, started freaking out and got a taxi back to town. She was still fast asleep in her pram outside the shop 😂 This was the 60s too…. That pram definitely wouldn’t still be there if it happened now
Omg I’ve done that 😂😂😂😂
My boss used to drive to work and then walk home having completely forgotten he'd driven in.
😂😂😂😂😂
I drove to the shops. About a mile. Went to the Post Office, then to the mini supermarket for milk, bread, and wotnot and put them in the car. Then, I walked up the road to the chemist to pick up a prescription. Oh, the library is just round the corner, I'll take out a couple of books for the weekend. Proceeded to carry on home in the same direction. THINKS: Why is there no car on the drive? Oh yes, I left it outside the Post Office. I did my 6000 steps that day.
hahahahaahahahaha I genuinely laughed out loud at this
Back when I was a bit of a stoner, I went into my kitchen, flopped out the old fella and started pissing in my kitchen bin. Realised after a tiny bit went into the bin then WTF'd at myself and ran into the toilet to finish the deed. Then a few months later, same thing happened, but I was standing next to the urinal at fucking work (sober obvs), but almost started pissing in the bin that had the used paper towels in them. Thankfully it was just a side step to the urinal and no one else was in there. Fast forward 15 years to last week and I was in the living room waiting for the Mrs to get ready so we could pop out and see mates. I had a can of beer in one hand, and vape in the other. I raised the beer can to my lips, pressed the button on the vape then inhaled the beer straight down my throat and nearly choked.
That last one made me laugh
I once went into the bathroom and pissed in the bath while my dad was brushing his teeth. I think that was the first time he realised that weed and alcohol had entered my life.
Got woken up by my then wife. I was stood at the bedroom window in the middle of the night trying to turn off someone else's car alarm with a TV remote.
Did it work?
Didn’t turn it off but managed to turn the volume down.
Morning coffee after an early wake up from very, very angry baby. Milk formula in a mug. Coffee in the bottle. Thankfully noticed very quickly, or that day would have been 1000% worse. Usually my mind short circuits on simpler ways. Going to the fridge for a plate or being annoyed at a card machine for not recognising my phone pin...
I started reading this and I don't know why it immediately brought back one of many memories during the first few months of having a baby years ago now. As I went to feed my baby, my husband was holding him ready to take the bottle off me to do it and I bent down and started fastening the bib around my husbands neck and wondering to myself why it wouldn't fit... the deadpan look on his face staring at me like "wtf are you doing?" broke my trance lol.
😂😂 haha brilliant, what a funny image I now have in my head of this scenario 😂
I don’t know why but reading this has cheered me up after a few weeks of little sleep. When my son was first born I scooped the formula directly onto the kitchen worktop. I didn’t even have the bottle out. I just stared at it like ‘hmm something isn’t right here’.
Coming back to this comment. I just made myself a coffee even though I made a coffee 5 minutes ago and it’s sat on my desk.
A close friend emptied out a prepared bottle of baby formula, swilled it out. Went back to the fridge for a can of Carling and poured it into the baby's bottle. Luckily my partner was there and questioned her actions before it reached the little one. In her defence she'd had an epileptic seizure 5minutes previous, she didn't drink alcohol at all.
Back in the days of VHS tapes… when I found a tape in the fridge, I had an idea as to where my wife may have put the sausages. In the living room, on top of the VHS recorder. We never did figure out what caused that brain fart.
This is worse than my bleach in the fridge and cheese in the cupboard under the sink.
I literally did the cheese in the cupboard thing! But it was while getting a glass of water in the middle of the night. I've no clue how it happened lol
3 am snacking cheese is how it happened haha
Was at a gig many years ago. Bought a chocolate bar, ate it, put the change in my pocket and threw away the wrapper. Went to the bar later to get a drink and tried to pay with a chocolate bar wrapper. Had thrown the fiver in the bin.
Started to boil the kettle whilst cooking dinner, turned around to sort something out for my three year old, turned back and realised I had put the electric kettle on the gas hob, melted the bottom and almost started a fire.
I left a spoon in my pudding in the microwave the other day. It was in there for 40 seconds and nothing bad happened. I’m still shook up.
You can put metal in a microwave. So long as it has no sharp edges. I always leave my spoons in. No tinfoil though!!
Not sure why the downvotes this is completely correct. Anything metal that can arc will cause trouble, a round spoon is fine.
My mum had this weird habit of running round after me as an adult to clear things. So she pushed the kettle back into the corner and went upstairs to clean. She'd jammed the button against an appliance. If I wasn't there i would've boiled for10-15mins
Very common with Dementia patients apparantly!
😅 I can imagine! Thankfully no early onset dementia here (yet), just ADHD and no meds due to shortages
[удалено]
I’ve been on the phone to my mum, and had the phone in “the wrong hand”, and been panicking looking in my pockets cos I’ve lost my phone. Luckily mum was sensible and asked how I was talking to her.
It happened to me with my earphones. I searched everywhere to later realize I've already put them on.
I've put my glasses on to make it easier to find my glasses more than once.
I need my glasses to find my glasses.
Found my glasses in the fridge once. It's pretty hard to find your glasses when you're not wearing your glasses. But then you open the fridge to put the chilled eye mask back in to cool....
Brilliant!
I regularly find my keys in the fridge. I use them to remind me to take my lunch to work
That's a fantastic idea
Also for when you have shopping in the work fridge that you need for the evening, which is when I use this. The occasional walk back to the office from the car park good for the soul.
This sounds like a fantastic idea, but I can only see myself locked out of the house with no lunch
I've done tons of these things. But my favourite was actually chatting to a colleague who, at the time, was a new father. I asked the same question about what daft stuff he'd done (due to sleep deprivation), and he swore blind he just "didn't make those sorts of silly mistakes". As he's saying this, I'm watching him scoop coffee into a cereal bowl. He had this sudden moment of enlightenment/embarrassment when he realised what he was doing. Still makes me chuckle
We had a big party back in the student days. Afterwards we couldn't find the remote, assumed some prick had stolen it, we had to walk over to the telly to operate it which became a bit of a palaver with arguments about whos turn it was to do it for about 3 weeks until someone found the remote in the freezer under a bag of peas. Defrosted it and gave it a few hours for the condensation to leave and it worked just fine, we could go back to sitting motinoless for hours with only having to roll a joint to interrupt the calm.
Haha brilliant! Sounds like typical day after party shenanigans. I was at a party once and as soon as the host passed out, someone found a screwdriver and removed his living room door. He texted the group chat the next day asking why it was in his bedroom.
I’ve never really misplaced anything like that, but I have tried to scratch my eyelid without remembering to close my eye first, so I’ve got other problems.
Not me, but my wife. It was our oldest daughter's first day of senior school, so my wife took a photo of her dressed in her uniform and ready to go. My wife sent me the photo, then a couple of minutes later I start getting panicked messages about her not being able to find the house keys; she's looked everywhere, they're not in the kitchen or by the bed or any of the other usual places and have I taken them because is going to be late etc. etc.
The photo my wife sent has our daughter stood in our hallway by the front door. The door has my wife's keys hanging from the lock. It was one of those locks where you can only have one key in at a time and I locked the door behind when I left for work so she must have unlocked the door before taking the photo. So I sent her the photo back with MS-Paint airbrushed arrows pointing pointing to the keys. I remind her about it every time I can't find something she's asked me to get.
Also: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWDRdvZsCyE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWDRdvZsCyE)
I tried to put the kettle in the fridge instead of the milk. Actually the worst was when I was holding someone's new puppy and I, being used to having cats, chucked it (to be fair a small distance, but enough that it let out a yelp and panic ensued)
I dropped a disabled cat once, his back legs didn't work right. I wasn't thinking and I just dropped him from about hip height! I felt TERRIBLE but he was okay, he just did a rolly-poly and looked at me, betrayed, like the awful person I am
This one made me laugh out loud. Just picturing the cat's face 😂
At the time it wasn't funny! Now that I got over it I can see the humour, but oh I was guilty for days! That said, we were hanging out with the neighbour cat and he fell off the table- the face of panic was SO funny I still laugh when I think about it! He left a big claw mark in the wood and every time I look at it I laugh again
Oh god! A quick way to get yourself off the dog sitting list for life.
Wait why do you even chuck cats?! Is this a thing?
I've walked home from work to realise I've left my car at work a few times. I usually walk, but sometimes I pop somewhere at lunch or have to take heavy stuff in, so take the car. My brain isn't used to me taking the car!
Brilliant! Not quite as good as yours but I remember when I was in junior school, I once walked home because I forgot my backpack only to find it was on my back the whole time.
Hahaha! See now this reminds me, I once got to work (50 min journey of tube & walking) & realised I had a big sticker on the front of my dress I just bought that weekend saying 'ONLY £5!'. I'm just mad no one made an offer?! That's a good deal, a dress & a stupid woman in it.
https://preview.redd.it/u6pz1eqkeh7d1.jpeg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3fb3fb0a6a933475512e0885bfa189ca085da04 Opened the cutlery drawer to find my husband had ‘put the bacon away’
My mum's glasses turned up in the freezer once under a thick layer of frost. Once after being awake for 48 hours straight I folded my clothes neatly and put them in the toilet. Then I just stood there, watching them soak up bog water, thinking "I know this isn't right but I'm not sure why "
> > Once after being awake for 48 hours straight I folded my clothes neatly and put them in the toilet. Then I just stood there, watching them soak up bog water, thinking "I know this isn't right but I'm not sure why " i get sleep deprivation but WTF?! this has broke me laughing.... my ribs hurt hahhaahahahahhaa
Stood at the front door of my house pressing the unlock button on my car keys wondering why the hell it won’t open
Done that. Did you remember that your car was probably unlocked behind you? Current car unlocks with my phone, Trying to find a door lock the same.
Put the harness and lead on the dog, walked out the house locked the door and walked down the road. I’d left the dog in the house… went back to find her stood in the hallway very confused.
I was making some toast at work whilst talking to my colleague who was in the kitchen. Toasted it, got the butter out of the fridge, buttered my toast making sure to get it absolutely perfect around the edges. Then immediately threw it in the bin. The look on my colleagues face was utter bewilderment, I had to go and sit in the toilets for 10 minutes to calm down.
Milk in the cupboard under the sink, fabric conditioner in the fridge. I've also put fabric conditioner in my tea once, they look similar but thankfully smell very different so I didn't drink any
I was pissed but I wanted to do the dishes. I put too much liquid on the sponge, and I used the shot glass I've been drinking out of to remove some. Did a couple of pots and my auto-pilot drunk brain saw the shot, didn't even question the pink stuff in it, and drank it all. It was diluted 1:1, I think, so it went down easily. It took me 10 seconds to realise what I've done. I can not stand the smell of pomegranate Fairy ever since.
Couldn't find my remote, spent day looking for it. It was in the fridge. Couldn't find remote for a 2nd time. No idea what made me check, but it was in the bin. I am fully blaming menopause and not my stupidity!
I wonder what it is about putting things in the fridge?
I think as it's often a mindless action, without paying much attention, open fridge, pop something in there without really acknowledging what you are doing! Grab something from the fridge, mindlessly pop it back, without really thinking about it!
I was once working 16 hour shifts to keep a business afloat through some hard times. I would wake up at 3 in the morning and drive to my colleague's house, have a coffee there then on to work. This particular day they had 2 seperate pint bottles in the fridge, one opened and one unopened. So I pick up the opened bottle to make the coffee. Me and my colleague sat there still half asleep at that time of the morning wondering why the coffee tasted weird, I got half way through my mug of coffee and my colleague got up and looked in the fridge and noticed I'd used the banana milkshake they'd ordered from the milk man the previous morning. Yup coffee and banana milkshake. Gave us a rare chuckle for that time of the morning.
Accidentally driven to a house I haven't lived in for 20 years, parked on the driveway and tried to enter the house. My brain was elsewhere.
Oh wow, that’s impressive!
Yep. Not my finest moment. It was only a few streets down from where I moved to. I was quite lucky that we knew the "new" occupants quite well and they had a sense of humour about it, that could have been a very bad day.
Dropped baby off at my parents, got bus to hospital appt. Left hospital, got bus home. Phone call from parents an hour later - "er, were you coming back at all...?" Oops.
Don't worry my mum once left me outside of Boots as a newborn baby
Mine left me in a trolley in Asda car park in the next town over, got home and put the shopping away, my dad realised and got on his motorbike to find me while she calmed down enough to drive back. Luckily the girls in the shop liked looking after babies.
My mum did this to me as well! I’ve heard it’s quite common (leaving your baby somewhere, not specifically at boots haha) since you’re so sleep deprived and also your brain hasn’t adjusted yet to the baby being part of your routine tasks
That was my mums excuse, especially as in those days your didn't take the pram in the shop
Oh Christ 🫣This reminds me of a few years ago when I came home from work feeling absolutely knackered. I was hungry and needed the loo so I decided to grab some chicken bites first, got these out of the fridge then I saw the microwave door open and put the chicken bites inside then closed the door without eating any of them 😣 Went up stairs, took off my work jacket and threw it on the bathroom floor then went into my bedroom and started unzipping in front of the paper bin🫣 I stopped myself before anything could happen, it felt like I had just woken up and was rather startled. Went to the bathroom and found my jacket which confused me even more. Once I had gone to the loo I realised I was hungry and remembered I had some chicken bites in fridge! Yum! So i hurried to the kitchen and found no chicken bites “Strange?” I thought, but just assumed someone had eaten them so I grabbed a packet of rice and decided I’ll have rice & gravy (People call me old for having it but it’s bloody delicious when you need a quick meal). Anyway! I opened the microwave and found the chicken bites. 🤦🏻♂️ I went the bed afterwards before I could misplace anything else. Not my proudest moment for sure.
Years ago, my dad fell asleep around 4am standing up (like in The Sims) and found a dinner plate stacked on top of the breakfast bowls and a tea towel in the fridge the next morning.
I once had a massive chest freezer by the front door - the only place it would fit. On more than one occasion we found post in the freezer. Still not sure why.
Put the leftover Chinese in the cupboard with the biscuits.
I'm guessing he wasn't too happy about being stuffed in a cupboard?
Although it did stop him complaining about the cold, so there is that
Holding a sandwich in one hand and my phone in the other. Got distracted by something outside the window, forgot which hand was holding what and tried to take a bite out of my phone
removing a wrapper and putting the item in the bin instead of wrapper
Due to massive pain issues and health problems take a few tablets through day. Also kind of bed bound due to pain and sleep at weird times. Woke up at 130am for a pee and started to organise my meds for 2pm thinking was 130pm. Once woke up at 730am for a pee. Pottered about and then took my all evening medications for that day. Rang 111 and they worked out I didn't need A&E/ED it was a close thing. Put sugar in fridge. Cooking supper, answered call on mobile then when finished put phone in fridge. Microwaved jacket potato as potato part of supper then microwaved mashed potato. Kept jacket potato in fridge for next day. Few times have put washing on without washing liquid pod in machine.
I spent several minutes looking for my phone, complaining to my buddy that I can’t go until I find it, not in my pocket that’s the work phone, damn where did I put it..? The bastard just waited for me to realise how I was talking to him 🤪
I’ve used my phone to activate the find my phone feature
Took my wedding ring off before going to the gym like always. Rather than leaving it in the usual place, I put it in the bathroom bin. Luckily I found it before the bin contents were chucked out.
Got home from work and tried to use my ID swipe card to get in the front door
I lost my keys after a night out in London and following an exhaustive search I gave up on ever finding them. Around 4 months later when we were moving out of our shared house they turned in a plastic bag in the Fridge along with a can of beer.
Four MONTHS? Was the fridge just for decoration? How did you not find them?
I’ve tried to put the milk in the cutlery drawer, after opening it to get a spoon for my coffee
Cleaning up books and papers on the desk ***without realising my ipad*** and placed them aside. Spent nearly half an hour then trying to find the ipad, couldn’t be more happier to have airtag now
My mum went through a phase of putting her purse in the cupboard. I remember I lost my tamagotchi once and found it in the fridge where I’d left it getting some orange juice out.
Milk in the cupboard is a classic
I’ve not done that one yet, I usually just make a cuppa and then forget to put it back for a few hours.
I have a 6 month old so everything is on autopilot, I was having a cig at work yesterday. Lit it and went to put my lighter back in pocket, I put the lit cig in my pocket and lighter in my mouth. Took me a minute to figure out what had happened.
I’ve definitely done the classic of looking for my glasses while wearing them. Another good one is the brain scramble that happened when I put my glasses on when I already had my contact lenses in then wondered why the hell I couldn’t see!
Not my keys - but my phone. I check the fridge first when something is missing ever since.
A few years ago, we lived on an estate with a little Sainsburys in the middle, which was always open late. One night we needed some bits, so my partner stopped at the shop behind our house on her way home. She parked, got some shopping, and then walked home. The next morning, we noticed the car wasn't on the drive, so we started panicking, called the police and reported it stolen. Obviously, she had walked home on autopilot, forgetting she had driven to the shop as usually we would do the minute walk. I had gone around to all the neighbours with Ring doorbells asking if they'd seen anything. I was so embarrassed explaining to them afterwards that it was, in fact, never stolen. The police quickly located the 'stolen' car at the shop and got it towed miles away to the towyard. We had to pay £250 for the recovery so we could take it home again 🤦♀️
Took coffee out of cupboard, when I finished using the kettle I put it where the coffee should've gone
I squirted soap onto my toothbrush instead of toothpaste, luckily I realised before I tried brushing my teeth.
In the same vein I once spread soap all over my face thinking it was moisteriser. I remember thinking "why does it feel so different today?" lol. I realised soon after that it felt different because it was soap! The bottles are side to side but nothing alike.
Nearly poured the remnants of a drink in the bin yesterday whilst throwing away a packet with the other hand... and nearly put the packet in the sink.
Always going to cupboard, instead if stand alone fridge to get milk out, on a morning . Or putting cereal in fridge.
I've put the cup of tea in the fridge and gone to drink the milk before... Also thrown the spoon in the bin and the yogurt pot in the dish bowl
AirTag that shit. Also really handy for spare car keys as I can never remember where I put them.
Done something like that when I wasn't feeling great Put the milk in the cupboard with the tins, and tried putting the kettle in the fridge.. which was the point I twigged what I had done and remedied it. We had a laugh about it
I use instant coffee as that's how I grew up and I can't be arsed with the additional faff of brewing proper coffee One morning, half asleep I poured water into the coffee jar instead of the mug. I've also frequently poured unboiled water into mugs for tea / coffee.
Running around the house looking for my shoes that I know for a fact I put by the back door only to find them on my feet 🤦♀️ hysterical laughter from the accused family for moving them 😬
Once spent 24hrs trying to find a bottle of cooking oil, I'd not only put it in the fridge but randomly put the milk in front of it!
I wonder if anyone has poured their freshly boiled spaghetti down the sink and ended up with a yummy pan of spaghetti water left. I feel like I'm close to doing this every time.
A friend of mine put the strainer in the sink and poured away her carefully tended chicken stock, while carefully reserving the used up bones.
I cycle to work, come back in the back gate to lock my bike in the shed after, then carry my stuff up to the house. Except a couple of times now I've put things down in the garden while I put my bike away and...just left them there. First time it was my work bag out for the weekend (oops). Second time it was my (e-)bike battery and charger - which I left out in the rain for a long weekend 😬 almost a very expensive/explosive mistake!
I've done teaspoon in the bin teabag in the sink more times than I care to admit. I think most people have done that at some point. I once lost the Sky remote. Pretty much pulled the living room apart looking for it. I eventually found in in the kitchen on top of the breadbin. No idea why I even took it into the kitchen.
Back in the old days of CRT TVs that had a little panel that popped out where you could tune in the channels, I decided this was a good place to hide my wages after getting home from the pub. You know, putting it away safe. Didn't find it for three weeks.
Teabag in bowl, cornflakes in mug
Sleep deprived after a night shift. Tried to simultaneously make a sandwich and write a note for my husband. Somehow sharpied a slice of bread instead of buttering it.
Lit up, put the stale bread roll back in my pocket and threw my cigarette lighter to the ducks in the canal. they weren't impressed.
We were putting the shopping away and couldn't figure out where the toilet rolls had gone. I was sure we had brought them but couldn't find them anywhere. Thought we had left them at the shop so I went back but naturally they didn't know as they had so many people going through and anything that was left went back on the shelf. So I took the hit and brought some more. Got home and though it was a good time for a coffee after all that trauma. Opened the fridge to get the milk out and there was the original pack of toilet rolls sat in there amongst all the chilled stuff. I must have just put them in there without thinking. This was 25 years ago and my wife still ribs me about it to this day.
I had a right mare once and put my hp sauce in the fridge like a complete savage.
Daftest thing I’ve done is frantically look around for my mobile phone, to find out I was carrying it in my hand
After working 60-70+ hours on a show, I was coming home and making my lunch for the next day. I was so exhausted I put the cheese away in the cutlery drawer. I hadn’t even realised it had happened until my house mate found it.
We were going on holiday to mallorca/minorca can't remember which one. We where taking the car to the airport. Get up, load the car and set off, 20 mins later the Mrs goes "why are we at your work" I dunno, think I was just in auto pilot
Putting the kettle in the fridge as if it were a milk bottle, spraying shaving foam into my armpits instead of deodorant, and turning up to work on my day off. Thankfully not all on the same day though.
While making coffee, after putting the coffee grinds to the filter, I just grabbed a carton of milk and almost poured it on the coffee. Mid-pour ( just before ) I stopped and asked myself outloud "What the hell am I doing?!"
Anyone else frantically looked for their phone for ages whilst having it in their hand?
Went to flick the excess water out of my milk steaming jug like I always do after rinsing it. I actually threw quite a lot of milk across the kitchen counter instead.
I drove almost the same initial part of aroute to work every day for a while, in a van, fully loaded. Had to go over a fairly non conspicuous bridge too. I remember one day getting near to where we were going to work and I realised I had no memory whatsoever of crossing that bridge, or of anything to do with driving for the previous 40 something minutes. I jumped in the van in the morning, knew the first job was at X location, and lizard brain took over, leaving me to daydream. Kinda freaked me out.
Drove to school to pick up the kids, and then walked home. Didn’t realise until that evening and school gate was locked, had to sheepishly collect it in the morning.
My mate rang me to let me know they were outside and to come out to their car. I spent 5 mins looking for my phone, until I finally realised it was in my hand and I was talking to them on said phone. Even my friend didn’t think to say, you’re taking to me on your phone and was suggesting places it could be
A mate I work with had his work van robbed a couple of years ago. Some guys broke in to the back door, found the van keys and took it for a joy ride and stole some bits out the back. He has a jag and bmw on the drive as his and his wife’s cars. They weren’t stolen cos the keys were in the fridge.
I have taken the milk out of the fridge. I have taken a glass from the cupboard. I fill the glass with milk. I put the milk in the cupboard. I have done this more than once.
Recently, I woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep, despite being knackered. So I got up and took the dog for a walk at 5.30am. As we exited the park I shoved my phone in the Dog Poo Bin, rather than the bag of dog poo I was holding.
I work in VR and most of my recreation is vr and sometimes my brain gets a little confused. I'll think an irl wall is noclip and just go straight at it. Or be in VR and try to put a real mug on a virtual table. Sometimes I try to use my thumb to teleport like I'm in meta/steam home area. Sometimes I look at my wrist to check performance metrics of real life. I'm fine, no really.
I have found my keys in the fridge after turning the house upside down one morning. I think I must have made tea, and whilst loading my car for work put the keys in with the milk. The other faux pas, same car same job was we were told had to remove the company laptop from the car when we were not at work. I was on call, didn't want to forget the laptop so leave it by the front door so cannot open the door without seeing it. Got called small hours of the morning, made a cuppa, grabbed my kit and loaded the car. In the process I put the laptop down on the ground behind the car (a 4x4 Frontera at the time) climbed in and revered over it. Surprisingly it was fine, really did think that was going to take some explaining.
After a heavy night I got up in the following morning to make a cup of tea, got the milk out the fridge and it was a new bottle with the seal on. Taken the seal off the milk and instead of throwing it in the bin, I was pouring the milk into the bin. Taken me a good few seconds to realise what I was doing
I use a USB vape and wired earphones, both plugged into my computer. Once I picked up both and simultaneously tried to put my vape in my ear and my earphone in my mouth.
I had a drink in one hand and my phone in the other, I meant to throw my phone on my bed but threw the drink lol, not my best moment. Thankfully I’ve forgotten most of the embarrassing/dumb things I’ve done growing up so yay.
Recycling in the washing machine, which happens to be right next to the recycling bin. Didn't realise until I went to get the washing out and found two (sparkling clean, in fairness) bottles in with all the clothes.
Left my phone in the fridge as i put it down to snap off a yogurt.
I’ve airtagged my youngest daughter….
Put my friend's glasses on as my own and got confused as to why my glasses didn't work for like an hour
When i first moved to the UK i was 18 and lived with two blokes. One was 20 Johnny, and the other was 40 Mick. The 40 year old bloke Mick was a bit of a grumpy bastard and we used to play pranks on him. One of the pranks we used to play on him was swapping out the toothpaste tube in the bathroom for a tube of anusol. Mick found it, came into my bedroom laughing and threw it at me "You've got to get up earlier in the morning to get me with that one son!" Every so often we'd try it again, and he'd find it. After about three months, one Saturday morning, Mick, hungover FINALLY brushed his teeth with Anusol. He shouted "YOU FUCKEN CHEEKY LITTLE FUCKEN CUNTS!!!!!" while spitting out Anusol and me and Johnny pissed ourselves laughing.
TV remote in fridge years ago. And only yesterday "came to" putting shopping away, wondering why I was about to put the bread in the fridge. Realised there were probably yoghurts in the bread bin. Also set off for work on a Sunday once when very tired and the family was away for a week.
Used to commute 60 miles each way from Sussex to London on a Motorcycle. Cant tell you how many times ( after 115000 miles over 5 years ) I sat at my desk and thought 'which route did I take to work today?'
Made myself a bowl of cereal and grabbed myself and spoon then threw the whole lot into the sink with the pan that was in there to soak.
Spent 20 mins looking for my phone this morning, even stopped the washing machine cause I panicked I'd put it in there, only to find it in my back pocket
Came home from a camping trip. Went to my old house.
Found my keys in the fruit bowl … I had chucked them in the bag with the shopping and they somehow found their way into the net bag of oranges. I tore my house apart trying to find them!
I often try to open the front door with my car key fob after a particularly long day.
My other half came to me the other day and asked why I'd put toothpaste in the fridge... I can only assume I'd not been concentrating when I'd been putting the shopping away
similar to you , I've chucked my fair share of spoons into the bin with the yogurt tub before!
On tired days my common one is when making coffee either trying to put the kettle back in the fridge (instead of the milk) wondering why it doesn't fit, or trying to return the kettle to the cup cupboard. 😳 Brain fog is very real and is just a part of life 🤣
I keep putting the tv remote control in the fridge. Swear I’m mad sometimes. I’ve also put cooled water (bottle from the fridge) over my cereal instead of milk. I’ve put tea and coffee in the same cup when making multiple beverages. Ive brewed a tea for hours (starting, then forgetting). Also boiled an egg for hours. I’ve taken an empty bag out with me leaving my stuff at home when going to work. I should see a doctor, right ?
My favorite was pouring out some squash, forgetting to go fill it with water, downing the neat squash a few minutes later, choking on the neat squash then repeating the whole process not 5 mins later. There was also the time I nearly tried to brush my teeth with hand soap.
I once took cheese to work instead of my lunch. In similar containers
Autopilot/Pregnancy Brain I was given a bag of vegetables by my mother in law when we visited her and I’m notorious for not having a bag with me when I go out, so I put my purse in the vegetable bag to save me from carrying it in my hands. Fast forward a few days and I’m panicking because I can’t find my purse anywhere! I’ve frozen my cards and I’m at the point of going to cancel them and get new ones… when I go to use the vegetable that I put in the fridge, still in the bag and voila! There’s my purse and my (nearly) quite literally frozen cards!
I think the worst thing I did was I once left an entire bag of shopping in the car for 2 weeks. Unfortunately it was frozen food as well including chicken. By the time I realised it was disgusting and I needed to buy an air freshener for the boot...
Mid way through making a cup of tea at like 4 am as I was going away, was going to throw the tea bag in the bin on the way past. Threw the mug...
I made dinner once running off 2 hours sleep and the dinner ended up in the sink and I put the knife, fork and plate in the bin. I made myself a sandwich and fucked off to bed afterwards and the next morning I was really confused as to why sausage, mash and onion gravy was in the sink staring up at me. Insomnia is not fun!
About 3 months ago, my Grandfather who I was close to died. I was pretty much on auto pilot for about a month. My husband found the TV remote in the fridge, then my purse. The funniest one was apparently when he found a pile of clothes in the dishwasher. I'd opened the dishwasher to load dishes and on autopilot just shoved clothes (that I was wanting to wash) in there. It hadn't been switched on yet thank God.
My ADHD husband put his phone in the bin then proceeded to panic for an hour getting really upset at the thought of losing our son's baby photos because he also doesn't back his stuff up to the cloud. He found his phone eventually but it was a mad panic.
My OH called me while I was on the way home from work to ask where the MILK LID is? I have no idea I’m just finished work and on the way home… When I got in, looked everywhere. Turns out it was in the fridge but like someone had just thrown it in, at the back of the shelf, not actually on the milk bottle 😅 I wasn’t home so he must have done it on autopilot. How strange!
Frequently end up with coffee in the cereal bowl and cereal in the coffee mug. I've also put a freshly made mug of coffee in the fridge instead of putting the milk away.
Once put my phone in the dishwasher
Kettle in dishwasher, to this day me and my wife still argue over which one of us did it
A few years ago whilst I was on autopilot I accidentally mixed one of those Batchelors cup a soups with coffee <\_< One time when I was in high school, I got up in the morning put on my school uniform and had a wash and cleaned by teeth then realised it was Saturday <\_<
Lined the baking tray with cling film
I got out of my car, walked towards my front door and tried to unlock it with my car key fob.
Sometimes I put the butter or cheese in the cupboard. Sometimes I leave ice cream out until it's fully melted. As for keys, I just throw them into the most idiotic places.
Milk out on the side and kettle in the fridge....
Put the cat in the fridge and the milk on the floor. Was only for literally 3 seconds . Opened the fridge and the cat lept out and bolted . Took a while to recover from that
Freaking out because I couldn’t find my phone, while at the phone with my mother
I lost my kettle once. It was in the fridge.
I almost put the kettle in the cupboard 🤷♂️
Left my wallet on the toilet roll holder in London Gateway Services. Realised about 200 miles later.
That's a work-daily stress-related problem or if you are aged a sign of dementia. I am still young at 56 and things like this happen more often these days. Sometimes I lose my focus on things that I started and get involved in some other activities . At work, I am still capable of doing multiple activities at the same time, but at home when I am more relaxed, I start to forget them.
When I lived with my parents I lost the front door key. I lost it for about 8 years. I found it in the airing cupboard. On a shelf up high. I put it there to keep it safe. I have no idea why I did it but it made sense at the time.
Woke up one early one morning around 4am, busting for a piss, after falling asleep on the sofa. Half asleep, walked into the downstairs loo, had the longest most satisfying slash, then went up to bed. The next morning my wife asked why there was water in the cupboard under the stairs. I then realised I'd walked into the under stairs cupboard next to the toilet.
Last year a few months before my wedding I somehow managed to lose my engagement ring. Just slipped off my finger. I was absolutely shattered that day from work and all the wedding prep. Luckily I was in the house all day, so me and my now husband turned the whole house upside down to find it. I even went looking through the rubbish in the bin. Couldn't find it. We repeated this cycle of turning the house upside down probably once every week for a month till I gave up and just had to accept the ring was lost forever. Then about a week or two before the wedding, I was emptying the freezer as we were about to fly out in the next few days. Found the ring in the freezer drawer sitting on top of the ice cube tray, which was covered with a pack of garlic bread, so I never noticed it before. Normally it's my husband losing shit all over the house and getting me to find the missing items. Whenever I bitch about that, he always says " well at least I didn't lose my engagement ring in the freezer for over a month " lol. Cheeky fucker.