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Have you been for a thorough medical examination? There could be other health issues which are causing this. Whilst getting sildenafil online is the easiest way, it does mean that other issues might be missed. I’d tell her. It’s your wife, be honest.

I agree, well worth getting checked - it might be something simple or easily medicated. I’d always be honest, she’s your person, you should talk about it and together you can adapt. Also, the more pressure you put on yourself to perform, you might find it has the opposite effect. Telling her would let you relax a bit!

Yup. Could be a combination of things T dropping off, high blood pressure, diabetes etc. The sildenafil will mask the obvious effect by helping maintain an erection, but will do nothing and may exacerbate the underlying conditions. A quick checkup with your GP is a must, they can also prescribe the ED meds meaning you’ll pay less if nothing else.

Honesty is the best policy. In a worst case scenario, if anything happens where you can't answer for yourself and she's asked if you're on any medication then she will be need to give an accurate answer.

As a doctor, I would urge you to 1) stop watching porn all together. If you don’t great. Then 2) see a GP and get blood tests etc to rule out medical causes such as diabetes etc. do you wake up with a boner? If you’ve done that and results come back normal then great. Crack on with viagra… Do you have performance anxiety? You’re quite young to be having issues with your erection

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I would still do the usual tests like diabetes, testosterone, cholesterol etc

Why would your first comment be about porn lol? What has that got to do with this?

Because porn kills boners when it comes to real life sexual encounters. There’s many Reddit forums on it if you have a look. Google it too. Lots of people say porn is fine to watch but a lot of men are addicted to it and can’t get the same boner in real life like they can in porn because their brain has rewired itself.

Because too much porn changes your brain chemistry and causes erectile dysfunction in real life sexual encounters

They're also active on r/teenagers, so who knows?

Honesty is the best policy

"As a matter of fact honey, that lovely dress of yours does indeed make you look fat".

"And that's why I've got to take these dick pills"

"On the plus side (of which you are), I got us a yellow sticker pizza at Tesco for £1.19. I'd stick to one slice though lovey duck."

You're mixing "honesty" and "suicidal impulse" up

Yes. It was originally a heart medication and can have adverse complications so she should know what you're taking.

Well....I have read everyone's comments and I would like to thank you all for taking your time to offer your advice. I have decided I am definitely going to tell my wife based off your advice. On reflection it definitely seems best to be honest and open. If it was the other way around I'd want her to tell me about it. Now just to figure out how to word it. Thankyou guys

You haven’t mentioned going to the doctor. If you haven’t gone yet, make yourself an appointment before starting medication. Oh & tell your wife about the pills. Your sex life involves you both, so she deserves to know.

Yes, you should tell her. Yes, she may feel a bit hurt but it won’t be worse than the hurt shes already feeling, and it may help her to know that you *want* to do something about it Something to consider, as it doesn’t sound like you’ve been medically assessed for this. If the issue is psychological or emotional, viagra may not help. If it *does* work, she’ll know you’ve taken it

Dude, you’re experiencing physical problems that are both completely normal and difficult to come to terms with, and you are questioning if you should discuss this with your partner, who is hopefully also your confidant, your ally, your best friend? Don’t make it harder for yourself and go through this alone. Talk to your wife about it.

Be honest. No good can come of lying, pun intended.

I started taking Sildenfil about 10 months ago, and still haven’t told the missus yet, I just feel like it’s something I want to keep private. The main downside to not discussing it is that you really need to be sure of if/when she’s gonna be in the mood for sex, otherwise you run the risk of an unwanted erection or vice-versa not having one when needed.

Being honest about sexual health should not be a taboo subject. Yet, it still is due to generations telling their kids "we don't talk about it". TALK ABOUT IT! See a doctor!. It is far better to tell your wife you think you have a medical issue than to let her wonder whether you no longer find her sexually attractive.

Just say you think it’ll be fun to try and don’t come across like you’re embarrassed or you’re doing it to impress. Just say you saw them or were recommended by a friend and you thought they’d be fun to try. Therefore there shouldn’t be any negative vibes on either side and you can go into your next session both knowing without either side having any weird feelings.

Talk to her mate. You’re worried that the issue has made her feel insecure, you going off and spending tons of time on your phone and then coming back 100% resolved could also make her feel pretty insecure! Also, if you’ve got these worries then it’s certainly not going to help the overall situation. Talk about it, be honest how you both feel and er… work through it together- far more likely to be effective and it’ll bring you closer. I know it’s a tough thing to discuss and you’ll feel vulnerable but this is your wife here, not some random you’ve just met. It’s all going to be ok!

If you don’t tell her then she’s going to ask you why your face is red and your erection is still present 14 hours later.

True. That’s just it.

There's no rigid rules about it. You may find it very hard, so have a stiff drink first.

You should tell her. Oh, and don't take a full pill when you start. Start with half or even a quarter of a pill.

Go to a doctor, even though they're OTC cos is could be something else. Be honest with your wife, always. Women very rarely think a man's erectile dysfunction is because of them not being found attractive anymore. I know men are that simple, but women aren't. Trust me.

Completely fine to do that. But make sure porn is out of your life before you do. Porn kills it. Porn Kills everything. Make porn die. I say this as a struggling man myself!

I’m a women and I found an ex’s viagra once. He hadn’t told me he’d got it and we were a few years into the relationship. Honestly I never even brought it up with him. I understood it was something he might be embarrassed about and I didn’t mind that he’d made that choice. Tbh I’d noticed he wasn’t performing as consistently as he used to and then all of a sudden he was back to his old self! However we are no longer together so perhaps if she’s your forever person you should practice opening up to her on embarrassing issues but don’t be worried she’ll be mad if you don’t because she probably won’t.

Talk to her about it.

If you and I were having this conversation I would say honesty is best. The stress and worry about your wife finding out is a likely factor in causing the issue. A kind of negativity cycle...being open will break that cycle and likely to be "fun" ahem

Tell her. She'll probably find out anyway or at the very least she'll wonder why you always prefer a 30-60 minute build-up over a quicky.

I think the honest approach is the healthiest. My boyfriend took a Viagra pill a buddy gave him and didn’t tell me, but I definitely knew and told him “You took Viagra”. “How did you know?”, he says. Frankly, I found it quite exhausting after awhile and just wanted to sleep! If you do decide to use it, do be careful as there are cardiac risks associated with it, especially with alcohol, drugs and existing medical issues.

It is a medicine to treat a medical condition. It does not make you less of a man. I would be flattered my husband was concerned enough about my sexual satisfaction that he went through the embarrassment of seeking treatment and wanted to improve our sex life.

Of course tell her! Great sex starts with open communication

It's not an answer to your question but please make an appointment to see your doctor, best to make sure there's nothing nasty going on that could be contributing to this problem.

Please tell her. My friend found some Viagra and assumed her husband was cheating. It was an awful thing to witness

Tell her. You’d want her to tell you (and trust you) if it was the other way around.

Of course you should tell her. Unrelated story. My parents keep all their medication in a shoe box. I was staying over, had a headache, so went to the shoe box for some paracetamol. I discovered a half empty sheet of cilals. After several minutes of ‘yuck, yuck, yuck’ I realised it was very sweet (still got some residual feeling of yuck) but it’s nice that my dad still loves my mum that much, after 40 years of marriage. Just don’t let your kids find them, I know it’s just a medicine, like any other, but yuck

How is this even a question? Go and speak to your partner.

Your wife? Of 14 years??

Tell her you have erectile dysfunction. You love herm you're attracted to her but you have a problem.

I found these when I got with my partner. I was absolutely devastated that he couldn’t tell me and be open about something that worried him. Years later our lack of communication ended our relationship. Please tell her all your worries - she wants to be there for you, as your wife.

Depends what sort of wife you have really..

Absolutely be honest that's the only policy. Otherwise it will eat away at you when being intimate and they will only make your worrys seem worse.

I understand the downsides of telling her. Tough call. If you do tell her, could you report back on how it went?

Tell her. “Let’s try these for a bit of fun” I do not have an erectile dysfunction problem, but my father had some for pulmonary hypertension before his aortic aneurism operation. I nicked a couple of his pills (with permission, he was throwing them out) and tried them. They gave me a blocked nose.

I would be more upset if my husband didn’t tell me than if he did tell me. I’d be so upset if he felt he couldn’t talk to me about something personal.

Sit with your wife and have an open and honest chat with her. Tell her about your erection issues, and that you're taking Viagra because you want to have sex with her but your body isn't allowing it, remind her that you find her attractive, ask her how she feels about you taking it and encourage questions and honestly. Time to put on your big boy pants.

Please have an honest conversation and a medical check. My ex was struggling with this, I took it to be me and then he had a heart attack. It was his cholesterol.

I know it's tied into your self feeling of masculinity or whatever, but logistically it's gotta be best to tell her. She's unlikely to think less of you as a man after 14 years, and being able to have a conversation about whether and when to pop a pill is going to be better than guessing and occasionally being disappointed.

Tell her. Take that particular weight off your mind. It's really not a big deal.

You should just go ahead and take them without telling your wife and see how it goes

Find a better hiding place. As if you put your secrets in a place where your SO can find them, are you mad?

Yeah tell her she'll understand.

Be honest with her, she is your wife and trying be check with your doctor too for some blood work you are very young to have this kind of issues I guess ?!

Mate, that shit is rocket fuel - so if you go from struggling to being a sex god, she might suspect something. I can have sex fine without but do prefer to take it on occasion (if I definitely know sex is an option, if I've had a drink etc) as it takes all the pressure away. My wife doesn't know and she can be quite hard on herself so worry she'd take offence.

She's gonna know mate.

If you can't tell her everything then that's not a healthy relationship

Get checked out Get checked out Get checked out It is so important especially if you haven’t had issues in general throughout life Men can go through periods like that due to a lot of things but if it longer term and unusual Get checked out And yes, tell your wife!

I did exactly what you’re doing - In the end it was just easier to come clean.

You've been together for 14 years. It's your wife, talk to her about it.

Here's some solid advice: the softly softly approach won't work. You have to find the courage to stand tall. You think you're between a rock and a hard place, but in reality, you just need to rise to the occasion and tell her. She's your wife. It can't be that hard. I don't think she wood be that upset.

Don't be embarrassed! Get a health check up - did you know we're more likely to take our cars to the garage than ourselves to a doctor? Could even be a stress thing :)

No shame in it, I'm a young guy and I've had to turn to pills at times (I won't get into the why, but they helped, fortunately I don't need them all the time and have gone without them for a few years now. I'm 33yo btw). BUT, do it the right way and go see a doctor and get yourself checked out, your ED could be a symptom of an underlying condition. You might also get them on prescription which would save you money (if you go NHS), cause they aren't cheap, even the generic ones. Don't quote me on that though, I don't know how it works with prescription ED meds. I got medical attention for my underlying issues, but never got a prescription for ED meds, I did that out of pocket a little while after, but I knew I had a fairly clean bill of health, issues aside. Do as I say not as I do 😂😅 FWIW, if sildenafil doesn't work great for you (side effects etc) then give tadalafil a go, I found it was more convenient and had fewer side effects (sildenafil gave me nasal congestion and some weird vision at least one time that I can remember). I believe there is also a low dose one-a-day version which may work for you. As for your wife, my advice is the same regardless of the question being asked... always tell them, if you have a good relationship then she will understand and you won't have to live with the shame and secrecy. The truth is always the best way 👍 Edit: I would also add this... have you noticed how common it is these days to see ads for ED medication on TV, social media, posters/billboards etc? New brands have popped up that clearly target a younger market. Its because it's a super common issue and it's effecting plenty of millennials/young people, not just those that are 50+

Erectile dysfunction is often the first sign of heart disease. See you GP do they can do some tests. If all okay, crack on with the sildenafil. I'd recommend telling your wife, btw. She will know something is weird if you suddenly are able to maintain erections. She won't find it a mood killer - honesty and clear, open communication is how relationships stay healthy!

Tell the truth.

Be aware that this is the kind of question to which you’ll only ever receive the socially acceptable answer. I don’t know what percentage of people will think it’s ok/good not to tell her, but those people won’t post it, or will get downvoted if they do. So just be aware that this is an extremely unscientific survey.

Hmmm online pharmacy. I'm guessing they called you in and ran a battery of tests on you, or were there 50 tickboxes and a signature absolving them from being sued?

The questions are no different than what you'd be expected to answer going to your local pharmacy. As with a lot of over the counter meds there are conditions for sale and specific advice given.

Fair enough. I was reading up about it in the meantime and it be gotten on subscription. Lot of things it reacts with.

If you mean prescription, then they can be prescribed but less now as you can get these over the counter to purchase yourself. Yes there are interactions which can be severe but that's why the questions are asked. It's not about absolution. If we spot something potentially bad, we don't sell and refer you to the GP and they can say whether it's safe or not. If on the other hand you lie to us to get the meds, then that's on the customer.