Oh, that's why these comments seemed out of place! (they were at the top with very few replies and OP seems to be replying to lots of comments) Maybe there was and it was deleted and reddit glitched out? It's been very weird for me lately.
It probably got deleted because the person was very disapproving and harsh and wrongly assumed I was neurotypical being “infantalizing”. Ironically, that was infantilizing because this bunny character is how I communicate feelings and I feel very connected to her lol
Yeah, people have a hard time getting that everyone is pleased and hurt by different things. It’s easy to conceptualize but it’s hard in the moment to not project your own consciousness onto someone else. Especially if you are personally triggered by something or hyper alert to certain threats or harm.
My husband is one of those people who has to make a big effort in that area. He would attribute the weirdest motivations to people - like a woman in his family only invited half of the family to her son’s graduation. We were not close but were included on the list. He said it was obvious that she was embarrassed of the age gap between her and her husband (of 20 years!) this made no sense. I had him give me the list of people invited and we were all people in (theoretically) lucrative professions. lol. But no, embarrassed suddenly of your old spouse after two decades!
Also, I made the alignment and sizes and kerning intentionally jarring and wrong to catch his attention because if it was pretty he’d find it soothing and miss the message lol.
Update: He said “honestly, it’s not your best work. I couldn’t stop looking at it to figure out why you did it [made the design so bad]. You’re usually so good at that stuff.”
DO I KNOW MY MANS OR WHAT
That was a brilliant touch! I’m glad he didn’t respond to the sign in the way I’ve had happen in the past, where people PICK UP THE SIGN AND LOUDLY READ IT OUT LOUD WHILE COMMENTING ON IT AND ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT. That was my one concern for you, haha. He knows better!
Okay, it def worked. Bc I was so taken by the words, my brain didn't even focus on the pictures. I sat here a full minute like, "343 STITCHES??? In their body? What they do? Get attacked by a shark? Is OP okay?"
I just had an idea. So I don't crochet but I have knit before. Are you counting stitches in a pattern as you go? Because if I didnt trust my memory if interrupted, I'd record myself while doing it, count aloud, and the moment I'm interrupted I could play that part back. Not perfect, but possibly a life hack.
Bonus being you can make a fun time lapse video when you're done!
You can get little counters for knitting needless that you set each time you finish a row or set of stitches https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=stitch%20counter%20for%20knitting&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5
I forget to click the damn thing!!! Or worse, I click it but then second guess myself and spend the whole row trying to remember if I decided to click it to indicate that I'm starting a row or just finished one
Could have done with this this morning. Woke up with zero battery for communication or masking. My bf poked and prodded at me to "smile" "cheer up" "take a happy pill". My subsequent tone has ruined his day, apparently 🙄
A great one for communication is those little octopus plushies which turn inside out. They have a different colour depending on which way you turn it, which gets the attention, then one has a smiley face, one has a grumpy face. Just keep it in an accessible but highly visible place, nonverbal comms solved!
We use "worm mode" as our code for this. As in, I'm a worm, I have no mouth, I want to burrow in the earth, and have no higher level functions right now.
Look up Labyrinth "I'm just a worm" gif--I send that via our IM chat as a heads up even if we're in the same room. This was after a convo at a time when I could communicate so I got to reinforce that worm mode wasn't about anything he did, and more importantly there's nothing he COULD do to help besides let me rest.
Oh I really like this, I might steal it. Worm mode... I like this, it's very accurate and cute-sounding so it doesn't seem aggro, which I struggle with. Like just saying "I can't talk right now" or "I don't have energy" seem so short and leave room for hurt feelings. "Worm mode activated" you can't really get mad at, lmao.
We do that for our son :). It helps when he’s non verbal.
And then I found these! Look what I found on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1677521511/the-original-social-battery-sliding?ref=share_v4_lx
Ewww I don't like that. I hope you have a conversation with him about how policing your partner's emotions is *not* okay. You cannot be a static, unchanging person who is always happy. He should embrace you for the full breadth of your emotions, because they are natural and part of what makes you *you.*
I feel so represented by this image. Everything about it screams "my mind when I'm fixated on something".
I also feel validated by it because I thought I might just be rude when I tell my boyfriend to please not interact with me (due to fixations) so it makes me happy knowing that there are others out there who are also as serious about concentration as I tend to be.
First person who got a picture was my best yarn friend who replied with a picture of the small yarn shops she’s visiting after the out of state funerals she’s attending is done. We are a special group, hahaha
Idk what your counting method is, but have you tried stitch markers? I like to tie a piece of scrap yarn around the needle as if it's a stitch, about 1 every 10-20 stitches. It helps me keep track of the Big Number by chopping it up into Little Numbers.

I even pre counted out the markers in piles of 5 (plus 2) before starting
https://preview.redd.it/8ryn9ep2g9uc1.png?width=3016&format=png&auto=webp&s=77174d90fc83f24c64b1bdc53d93a94d886e0241
I knew exactly what OP was doing as soon as I read the poster, and let out an audible groan. I knit and crochet and that’s a lot of stitches to account for. I’m so cursed when it comes to stitch counting too. I mess up repeatedly every single time. Interrupt by opening that door and you’ll find Medusa contemptuously staring you down to stone!
i LOVE this. my partner often does not understand that “do not interrupt me” really means “do not interrupt me” even for food even for affection even to say goodbye - it hurts me more than not saying bye before he leaves for the store. don’t interrupt me ! i might make a sign like this of my own.
Thanks for the idea.
My 13 y/o was recently diagnosed and I think this is a great way for her to communicate when she’s going through something and knows that being spoken to or disturbed will cause major lash out. If it can be avoided, it’s best for everyone. 🤞
Go to Papershire.com and look at the digital bundles of Bunilla emotions. If she likes them they’ve got so many that represent so many states of being. It’s so handy
>for her to communicate when she’s going through something and knows that being spoken to or disturbed will cause major lash out
When I was 13, I put a white board on my door to tell people when I wanted to be alone or when I was okay with company. I wasn't diagnosed at the time so I didn't know that I was overstimulated/ in a meltdown state, I just knew that retreating and being alone would help.
The white board didn't work on my mother (tbf, she wouldn't have respected a boundary even if it was defended with actual dynamite) but it worked really well with my siblings and my dad! My siblings even got their own white boards so we could leave each other notes when we were in 'do not disturb' mode :)
Maybe something like that could help your family?
Yes we do checkins as a family, it’s really helpful. If I’m having a bad day I'll say ok, mama's battery is at 10%, I can’t deal with much right now. My son really gets the analogy.
Lmfao- I think it’s brilliant! My partner and I also have goldfish brain when the other is busy, so we both might need to make one of these. I especially love the addition of the one with the arrows. Haha
The one with the arrows is called “Emotional Damage” and I was like so perfect. I put it in my planner on days my abusive mom gets a good one in lololol
Wow, look at these comments! I feel like I'm back on Tumblr trying to gently explain to someone that other people's posts are not about them actually. Personally I think it's cute lol. It'd work great for me, and I WISH it'd work great for the people I live with because they're also thinking that just interrupting me "for a moment" doesn't count somehow lol. Yes, even a knock or a goodbye. I dunno how many times I have to say "just text me if it's not an emergency" for it to sink in!
Thank you. I’ve never posted here before and I’m flabbergasted. Autistic people have more diverse ways of being than any other group so our communication with each other should vary by the listener’s needs. I am all abstract thought feelings and creative logical thought and my husband is all concrete, task, building blocks to the point creative logical thought. So introduce a variable to a situation he’s been in before (interrupting me while crocheting isn’t bad because the last time he did and I was upset I was knitting so this is not the same situation so that rule doesn’t apply). I get overwhelmed by concrete stuff easily.
He’s a really intelligent kind funny successful person and I am very passionate about treating him with respect as it pertains to him. It wouldn’t be respectful of me at all to assume he should be able to get it.
Yeah I've honestly never seen people react in the sub like they just did here, so I'm flabbergasted too. I guess it's just 1/2 rude people but like, dang... it's a cute AF sign what's the dang problem X'D
I’m audhd and this would be helpful af bc I get so excited to talk to my wife about things but a lot of the time she is doing homework or prepping for her class and I feel bad bc I keep forgetting 😅❤️ she is the kindest human tho and always gives me time ❤️
oh my GOD this is so relatable I just showed to to my husband to be like it’s not just me, this is an AuDHD thing. (I’m diagnosed, you’re not crazy for making this sign enforcing a boundary to protect your hyperfocus!)
Annnnnnndd that is why I could never get into this hobby. I had a friend try to get me into it during Covid and once they were like “and then you just count the stitches…” and I was like NOPE, and yeeted it back at her and said thanks for trying. My ADHD is the emperor and my ASD symptoms are the peasants of the land the emperor rules.
ETA: BUT I love love love this sign you made it’s beautiful and I love seeing fellow neurodivergent couples finding new ways to communicate, it makes my little queer heart sing.
Omg my husband used to respond to my shutdowns by screaming my name louder and louder and louder until I spoke. Thank god for my diagnosis and his instagram account - he’s learning!!!
By the way, there's got to be a better way to keep track of stitch counts. It sounds silly, but a foot pedal or something would be cool, because then my hands would stay free.... Or some kind of mouth clicker, lol.
I wish I had that idea to communicate my alone time to literally everyone. My mom would always barge in my room growing up, my former roommate would always try to talk to me, and none of my exes were cool with giving my space.
For anyone married to a partner like OP is describing, I have no idea how you do it. I literally stay single on purpose for this reason.
Honestly, it can be really hard. He understands that and we work together to compensate how we can. I go to a hotel for a few days most months. He visiting his brother for the weekend every couple of months. He takes a lot of things off my plate so I have spoons to give to him. He spoils me with crafting gifts (let’s talk about the fight that got me a Silhouette cutting machine, lol.) He tries hard and also tries hard to remove stress that isn’t required for me to shoulder so I have more of myself to give to our family and to myself. He’s just so compassionate and kind and devoted and at his core a pure loving dude.
But also it’s hard!
Dude I used to have signs like this ALL the time when I was a kid! I had rules for approaching me and it made life easier when the rules were followed. I’ve truly found my people, finally. I hope this works for yall! 🫶
I thought the middle picture was someone’s intestines with a piece of toast !! And you had had some kind of serious operation… ! 😅sitting counting your stitches to relax 🙏🏻😂🙈😂😂
…. until I saw the ‘crafting’ comments 🙈🙈
i want so badly to have a sign on me at all times that says "do not talk to me, i have no self control and will talk to you for hours and not get any work done"
I will say that I came into this post thinking you were NT and spouse has undiagnosed AuDHD...
If I understood correctly, then remove the word *"please"*.... this needs to be a declarative statement to help them properly identify and associate this as being a hard boundary and not a simple request.
Think of it this way, ND thinkers tend to go into things with Black & White thinking. For me at least, when communication is given to me, I rank them.
I look for indicators like word choice, punctuation, bold & italics as visual context clues of what to focus on.
This is why I love writing and communication. It's a crucial mix of art and science, and without effectively transmitting messages to obtain shared meaning... no relationship of ANY kind can thrive.
Best of luck to you and your partner! 💕
I’m diagnosed AuDHD. I was definitely writing to my particular audience here and it worked so well. He has saved the sign and told me how much he loved it because it showed how well I understood him and his specific brain.
Okay, bless you for responding. Maybe I was closer to burnout than I realized yesterday because I SWEAR I started reading Comme ts where the inflections tone were having you be NT, and so then I went and overanalyzed trying to decide which scenario. Tha KS for understanding.
Girl you need to use stitch markers for stitch counting. I mark every 10 stitches so if I lose count or get distracted, I don’t have to go all the way back and recount from the beginning.
Good thing I did it for my husband who I know really well and won’t feel that way, and not for you :) I use this character to explain my own feelings a lot because I have alexithymia as does he. He also has a difficult time connecting his actions to others’ reactions. He’s very concrete and doesn’t understand feelings language at all.
You posted on a public forum yet get snappy when people reply to your post. If your husband is the one that has undiagnosed AuDHD then saying he has a "goldfish brain" is really demeaning. Coming from a DIAGNOSED autistic person, we don't have goldfish brains, our brains just work differently.
Edit: OP replied to my comment and explained the goldfish brain thing. I understand now.
They didn’t respond in a “snappy” way. You just read it that way because it was a response to your own comment and you naturally got a bit defensive. OP was explaining why this works for their family, and it’s ok if it wouldn’t work for you! It wouldn’t work for me either - my feelings might get a bit hurt. But it works for them and their husband and that’s what matters!
Thank you. Learning what works for him has been a decade’s long process and has been hard. He saw the sign and he loved it (I finished my stitches) and asked to keep it.
I agree with this comment.
You're right I read OP's comment of "I made the sign for my husband, not for you :)" as very condescending. I just simply said the sign would make me feel infantalized. That was not a jab at the OP but it felt like the op took it as a jab.
>*so you gave unsolicited criticism by saying you would not have liked the sign.*
It is not unsolicited when posted on a public forum open for replies.
Why are the replies saying they love/like the signs not unsolicited but mine saying I wouldn't have liked it unsolicited? That's a double standard.
If criticism is not *asked for*, it is unsolicited. Unsolicited compliments are welcome because they are not negative. It is about the emotional impact on the recipient.
I am diagnosed Autistic and ADHD which is why I’m posting in a forum called Autism in Women. I’m not being snappy, I’m autistic and direct. I’m also shocked at the hypocrisy of your comment (posted in a public forum, your response was about your feelings and I was trying to politely point out that this sign wasn’t for you and then you become harsh and speak for the community I am also in in such a way as to silence my pov?)
I said my husband’s brain. Not because he’s autistic but because he’s him. It’s a thing we say to each other with love. Again it’s about him, not you.
Also I posted in a public forum that I thought would be supportive and kind in a world that treats me like shit. I didn’t know that we’ve now just accepted that entering into the public space with our own words means we are expected to accept the kicks that other people want to give us
I think your response was reasonable and not snappy in any way, I felt your smiley face was sincere :) I like your sign OP!! I think it's considerate, if you told him and he forgot and disturbed you he'd probably feel guilty and you frustrated - this is the perfect way to avoid that.
He does!! He beats himself up over it and it breaks my heart because it’s so clearly the ADHD and he just loves me and thought of something to say. He is in the diagnoses process after years of denial and he’s really excited!!
I'm autistic and direct too which is why I gave feedback on the picture and how I'd take it. Things posted on public forums are open for discussion but if that's not the case then that should be specified. I do think it's a bit unfair to expect other people to know what terminology and words are accepted between your husband. We don't know your relationship. I went off what I read.
I have Psoriatic arthritis that has claimed many of my fingernails and before they diagnosed me, it was so painful I’d pick the skin that hurt to relieve the pain. And kinda got addicted to it. So now I cover it to protect me from myself and because they’re not cute :(
i am sorry, for a while i worked on a follow-up treatment with infliximab with humans that had psoriasis with or without arthritis and i remember how persons were stigmatizing them for either nails or plaques, and this kind of behavior made them feel alone sometimes
there is an uncleared link between inflammation and adhd and autism that at least in terms of symptoms is relatively clear because when you have an inflammation process sometimes silent and the others painful , this process directly affects your adhd autistic threats like increasing the risk of a meltdown and the worst is that the people surrounding you are mean then it also starts lonely feeling
btw i hope your nails are better ☺️
There’s def a link between PsA and autism! One of my biggest *gahhh whyyyyyyy* about not getting my autism dx sooner is that we would have likely figured out that I have PsA and not RA years sooner and the nails could have been saved!
Just started Skyrizi, hope it helps better than the others have.
Fortunately, I dont much care what people think of my nails. I am now straight sized but I used to be almost 400 lbs, so I’m def used to being a bit of an oddity in public and found that those worth knowing don’t care!
I’m the opposite. I love how direct and clear this is. This makes sense to me.
This would be so perfect for me.
I’d find it so helpful!!
Agreed, but the opposite to what? OP made this, no one said they don't like it, unless there's something in the comments that I missed.
There was a comment I thought I was responding to this morning.
Oh, that's why these comments seemed out of place! (they were at the top with very few replies and OP seems to be replying to lots of comments) Maybe there was and it was deleted and reddit glitched out? It's been very weird for me lately.
It probably got deleted because the person was very disapproving and harsh and wrongly assumed I was neurotypical being “infantalizing”. Ironically, that was infantilizing because this bunny character is how I communicate feelings and I feel very connected to her lol
Aw that's sad. People can be quite mean sometimes and judgy without knowing the full picture:/
Yeah, people have a hard time getting that everyone is pleased and hurt by different things. It’s easy to conceptualize but it’s hard in the moment to not project your own consciousness onto someone else. Especially if you are personally triggered by something or hyper alert to certain threats or harm. My husband is one of those people who has to make a big effort in that area. He would attribute the weirdest motivations to people - like a woman in his family only invited half of the family to her son’s graduation. We were not close but were included on the list. He said it was obvious that she was embarrassed of the age gap between her and her husband (of 20 years!) this made no sense. I had him give me the list of people invited and we were all people in (theoretically) lucrative professions. lol. But no, embarrassed suddenly of your old spouse after two decades!
Also, I made the alignment and sizes and kerning intentionally jarring and wrong to catch his attention because if it was pretty he’d find it soothing and miss the message lol.
Update: He said “honestly, it’s not your best work. I couldn’t stop looking at it to figure out why you did it [made the design so bad]. You’re usually so good at that stuff.” DO I KNOW MY MANS OR WHAT
I'M DYING 🤣🤣
YOU REALLY DO LMAO THAT’S FANTASTIC
That was a brilliant touch! I’m glad he didn’t respond to the sign in the way I’ve had happen in the past, where people PICK UP THE SIGN AND LOUDLY READ IT OUT LOUD WHILE COMMENTING ON IT AND ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT. That was my one concern for you, haha. He knows better!
This would also be my husband. He would start reading it and say "what do you mean ...? This doesn’t make any sense!"
You’re brilliant!!!
Again, absolutely GENIUS
Hahaha. That is brilliant. As long as he didn’t get so distracted that he forgot the message 🤣
That would be my husband 🤣
This is the internet drama I’m here for, love your couple cuteness!
IS THIS THE GRAPHIC DESIGN VERSION OF THE OPENDYSLEXIA FONT?! -
I just picked the most dyslexia-ish font in my basic collection!!!!
Lmao
Bravo, seriously! Nice work.
Hahahahah I love this. Would also work on my husband or I.
The sign and you guys are so cute 😭
this is incredible i love every bit 😭
and she sticks the landing! incredible
Why is this so sweet to me? 😭
Okay, it def worked. Bc I was so taken by the words, my brain didn't even focus on the pictures. I sat here a full minute like, "343 STITCHES??? In their body? What they do? Get attacked by a shark? Is OP okay?"
LMAO I’m dying. I’d probably be fine other than really mad I couldn’t do my crochet as planned
I just had an idea. So I don't crochet but I have knit before. Are you counting stitches in a pattern as you go? Because if I didnt trust my memory if interrupted, I'd record myself while doing it, count aloud, and the moment I'm interrupted I could play that part back. Not perfect, but possibly a life hack. Bonus being you can make a fun time lapse video when you're done!
You can get little counters for knitting needless that you set each time you finish a row or set of stitches https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=stitch%20counter%20for%20knitting&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5
I forget to click the damn thing!!! Or worse, I click it but then second guess myself and spend the whole row trying to remember if I decided to click it to indicate that I'm starting a row or just finished one
Hahahah meeeeeee too!
I use stitch markers. Shove one in every 5 stitches, then they're easier to count when you lose where you're up to because you can count by 5's.
Thats so cool! Thanks!
or maybe one of those clicker counters that logs the number as you go?
I use stitch markers like every pattern repeat or 5 ot 10 stitches
It took me until this very moment to realize it *doesn’t* mean medical stitches. I, too, was shocked and confused.
Hahahah same for me, I’m also a knitter, so I went doh! 🤦🏻♀️
I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Until I began reading I thought the op just wanted to count to verify how many stitches she got. 😆😆
I absolutely thought the same, lol.
lol that's incredibly clever, would've definitely worked on me
I read that way too fast and saw "never would've worked on me" 🤣💀
Thank you for explaining that bit! Makes total sense but it was already making my eyes twitch 😅😂
That explains it. I totally noticed. Lol.
Omg it is SO jarring. This is genius tbh
That’s brilliant
Brilliant!
Ohhhhh. I was like, my brain hates it but this explanation makes me feel better 😂
I immediately knew this was the reasoning before I saw your comment 😂 Makes perfect sense.
Luv it. You’re on another level.
That’s… not how graphic design works lol
Could have done with this this morning. Woke up with zero battery for communication or masking. My bf poked and prodded at me to "smile" "cheer up" "take a happy pill". My subsequent tone has ruined his day, apparently 🙄
Tell him I said stop being a jabroni
Huh, you know you don’t hear a lot of jabroni anymore. 😂😂
I calls it likes I sees it.
You keep using this word jabroni and I gotta say, I love it
I do?!
Their comment is a reference to Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia. :)
Ah , thank you.
Or to stop being ableist or using you like a toy there for his amusement? Deadpan and write on your phone “I am happy. So happy I can’t move.” Lololol
I wad thinking I should have a card system for when I can't talk. Red card, leave me alone. 🚫
We have a couples therapist who works with AuDHD couples exclusively and this is a common recommendation!
A great one for communication is those little octopus plushies which turn inside out. They have a different colour depending on which way you turn it, which gets the attention, then one has a smiley face, one has a grumpy face. Just keep it in an accessible but highly visible place, nonverbal comms solved!
We use "worm mode" as our code for this. As in, I'm a worm, I have no mouth, I want to burrow in the earth, and have no higher level functions right now. Look up Labyrinth "I'm just a worm" gif--I send that via our IM chat as a heads up even if we're in the same room. This was after a convo at a time when I could communicate so I got to reinforce that worm mode wasn't about anything he did, and more importantly there's nothing he COULD do to help besides let me rest.
Oh I really like this, I might steal it. Worm mode... I like this, it's very accurate and cute-sounding so it doesn't seem aggro, which I struggle with. Like just saying "I can't talk right now" or "I don't have energy" seem so short and leave room for hurt feelings. "Worm mode activated" you can't really get mad at, lmao.
Please do steal! And exactly there with you on direct and short can often be rough on others, unfortunately. But worms are cute! 🪱
That's wild. My husband and I call it "being a burrito" because all we want to do is cuddle up in a blanket and ignore the world. Same visual.
Yes! That is super adorable. 🌯
We do that for our son :). It helps when he’s non verbal. And then I found these! Look what I found on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1677521511/the-original-social-battery-sliding?ref=share_v4_lx
🤣. I am smiling, you can’t tell by my resting bitch face?
Sounds like he's the one that needs to take a happy pill 🤷🏻♀️
Those are all…**troubling** things for him to be saying to you. Theres a lot to unpack there.
Ewww I don't like that. I hope you have a conversation with him about how policing your partner's emotions is *not* okay. You cannot be a static, unchanging person who is always happy. He should embrace you for the full breadth of your emotions, because they are natural and part of what makes you *you.*
That would piss me off. Ask him if he'd ask the same of a man or if he's just being sexist *and* abelist.
This is brilliant! Did you get them done??
Yes!!!
Hell yeah friend!!!
I feel so represented by this image. Everything about it screams "my mind when I'm fixated on something". I also feel validated by it because I thought I might just be rude when I tell my boyfriend to please not interact with me (due to fixations) so it makes me happy knowing that there are others out there who are also as serious about concentration as I tend to be.
Look up monotropism. It’s a unifying theory of autism and it really explains this.
Learning about monotropism helped me to be a lot more at peace with myself
Wow there’s a word for it 😅😅😅🙏🏻🩷
Those over at r/crochet would definitely appreciate this sign 😂
First person who got a picture was my best yarn friend who replied with a picture of the small yarn shops she’s visiting after the out of state funerals she’s attending is done. We are a special group, hahaha
“Best yarn friend” this makes me feel happy
I mean she’s not my best stationery friend! Lady knows her yarn and festivals but uses ballpoint pens. Sigh.
Being friends with other crafters- especially other fibre artists- is so much fun!!
Idk what your counting method is, but have you tried stitch markers? I like to tie a piece of scrap yarn around the needle as if it's a stitch, about 1 every 10-20 stitches. It helps me keep track of the Big Number by chopping it up into Little Numbers.
I did that! Every 20! But it’s not just about losing count it’s about losing flow.
Valid!
 I even pre counted out the markers in piles of 5 (plus 2) before starting https://preview.redd.it/8ryn9ep2g9uc1.png?width=3016&format=png&auto=webp&s=77174d90fc83f24c64b1bdc53d93a94d886e0241
I was about to comment this! Internally stressed at the idea of having to count 300+ stitches - I’d definitely lose count distracted or not 🥲
I knew exactly what OP was doing as soon as I read the poster, and let out an audible groan. I knit and crochet and that’s a lot of stitches to account for. I’m so cursed when it comes to stitch counting too. I mess up repeatedly every single time. Interrupt by opening that door and you’ll find Medusa contemptuously staring you down to stone!
A foundation chain of more than 50 makes me cranky, 343 makes me want to cry.
I seriously thought the stitches in the thread🧵 were about a stitched wound 😂😅😂 Does the original post mean fabric stitches ??
In a sense! The loops you make and twist together in knitting or crochet are called stitches. 👍
i LOVE this. my partner often does not understand that “do not interrupt me” really means “do not interrupt me” even for food even for affection even to say goodbye - it hurts me more than not saying bye before he leaves for the store. don’t interrupt me ! i might make a sign like this of my own.
Thanks for the idea. My 13 y/o was recently diagnosed and I think this is a great way for her to communicate when she’s going through something and knows that being spoken to or disturbed will cause major lash out. If it can be avoided, it’s best for everyone. 🤞
Go to Papershire.com and look at the digital bundles of Bunilla emotions. If she likes them they’ve got so many that represent so many states of being. It’s so handy
>for her to communicate when she’s going through something and knows that being spoken to or disturbed will cause major lash out When I was 13, I put a white board on my door to tell people when I wanted to be alone or when I was okay with company. I wasn't diagnosed at the time so I didn't know that I was overstimulated/ in a meltdown state, I just knew that retreating and being alone would help. The white board didn't work on my mother (tbf, she wouldn't have respected a boundary even if it was defended with actual dynamite) but it worked really well with my siblings and my dad! My siblings even got their own white boards so we could leave each other notes when we were in 'do not disturb' mode :) Maybe something like that could help your family?
Yes we do checkins as a family, it’s really helpful. If I’m having a bad day I'll say ok, mama's battery is at 10%, I can’t deal with much right now. My son really gets the analogy.
Lmfao- I think it’s brilliant! My partner and I also have goldfish brain when the other is busy, so we both might need to make one of these. I especially love the addition of the one with the arrows. Haha
The one with the arrows is called “Emotional Damage” and I was like so perfect. I put it in my planner on days my abusive mom gets a good one in lololol
Wow, look at these comments! I feel like I'm back on Tumblr trying to gently explain to someone that other people's posts are not about them actually. Personally I think it's cute lol. It'd work great for me, and I WISH it'd work great for the people I live with because they're also thinking that just interrupting me "for a moment" doesn't count somehow lol. Yes, even a knock or a goodbye. I dunno how many times I have to say "just text me if it's not an emergency" for it to sink in!
Thank you. I’ve never posted here before and I’m flabbergasted. Autistic people have more diverse ways of being than any other group so our communication with each other should vary by the listener’s needs. I am all abstract thought feelings and creative logical thought and my husband is all concrete, task, building blocks to the point creative logical thought. So introduce a variable to a situation he’s been in before (interrupting me while crocheting isn’t bad because the last time he did and I was upset I was knitting so this is not the same situation so that rule doesn’t apply). I get overwhelmed by concrete stuff easily. He’s a really intelligent kind funny successful person and I am very passionate about treating him with respect as it pertains to him. It wouldn’t be respectful of me at all to assume he should be able to get it.
Yeah I've honestly never seen people react in the sub like they just did here, so I'm flabbergasted too. I guess it's just 1/2 rude people but like, dang... it's a cute AF sign what's the dang problem X'D
You’re a very compassionate and understanding partner!
I’m audhd and this would be helpful af bc I get so excited to talk to my wife about things but a lot of the time she is doing homework or prepping for her class and I feel bad bc I keep forgetting 😅❤️ she is the kindest human tho and always gives me time ❤️
I have been thinking for a little while now that I could more efficiently communicate with my husband by just showing him memes 😂
Instagram reels are my husbands love language
When I'm doing a craft that has me counting if I'm interrupted I will just start counting loudly in reply, it works most of the time 😅
Yeah, that's my goto too. But then again, I'm usually counting to a much smaller number!
oh my GOD this is so relatable I just showed to to my husband to be like it’s not just me, this is an AuDHD thing. (I’m diagnosed, you’re not crazy for making this sign enforcing a boundary to protect your hyperfocus!)
Annnnnnndd that is why I could never get into this hobby. I had a friend try to get me into it during Covid and once they were like “and then you just count the stitches…” and I was like NOPE, and yeeted it back at her and said thanks for trying. My ADHD is the emperor and my ASD symptoms are the peasants of the land the emperor rules. ETA: BUT I love love love this sign you made it’s beautiful and I love seeing fellow neurodivergent couples finding new ways to communicate, it makes my little queer heart sing.
I find patterns that rely on very very small repeats but there has to be a foundation chain!!
Self centered people be like “this sign can’t stop me because I can’t read” and barge on in anyway
Man! Im having an awful end of the day and seeing this is assuring.
We just had a similar moment in my household.
I use stitch markers for every 10 sts when I'm counting coz I'm terrible at losing my place!
Whatever works! Get those stitches in!
Omg, this is perfect on both sides of the relationships! I love it 😍
my god this is so genius I love it
This is absolutely amazing and I need to utilize this the next time I’m counting a stupidly large number of stitches. 😂
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Omg my husband used to respond to my shutdowns by screaming my name louder and louder and louder until I spoke. Thank god for my diagnosis and his instagram account - he’s learning!!!
My dumbass sitting here wondering what you did that got you so hurt that you needed 343 stitches
By the way, there's got to be a better way to keep track of stitch counts. It sounds silly, but a foot pedal or something would be cool, because then my hands would stay free.... Or some kind of mouth clicker, lol.
I wish I had that idea to communicate my alone time to literally everyone. My mom would always barge in my room growing up, my former roommate would always try to talk to me, and none of my exes were cool with giving my space. For anyone married to a partner like OP is describing, I have no idea how you do it. I literally stay single on purpose for this reason.
Honestly, it can be really hard. He understands that and we work together to compensate how we can. I go to a hotel for a few days most months. He visiting his brother for the weekend every couple of months. He takes a lot of things off my plate so I have spoons to give to him. He spoils me with crafting gifts (let’s talk about the fight that got me a Silhouette cutting machine, lol.) He tries hard and also tries hard to remove stress that isn’t required for me to shoulder so I have more of myself to give to our family and to myself. He’s just so compassionate and kind and devoted and at his core a pure loving dude. But also it’s hard!
That’s so good to hear! It seems like you have a wonderful partner.
As a knitter+crocheter who's likely on the spectrum, I see you! I hope it serves the purpose and suits your relationship :)
I thought this was my crochet sub almost the whole time I was reading this and I was gonna suggest the autism in women sub to y’all 🤣
This is so brilliant - this would work effectively for me, sending this to my friends immediately
if your partner is nt this might be too rude? maybe just put up a do not disturb, in focus mode, sign? the day ruined thing might be a lot
The post says he’s not NT :) he loved it and thought it was genius.
Use stitch markers every 10 stitches, makes life easy
Did that! Every 20 is my jam
Perf! Still love the sign you made
That’s amazing, you might also do well with some stitch markers 🩷 I usually mark every 10 or every 20 when I have a big piece
Nice
The art is cute 🥰.
This is awesome. My husband interrupts stitch counting and then I have to start over.
Dude I used to have signs like this ALL the time when I was a kid! I had rules for approaching me and it made life easier when the rules were followed. I’ve truly found my people, finally. I hope this works for yall! 🫶
I thought the middle picture was someone’s intestines with a piece of toast !! And you had had some kind of serious operation… ! 😅sitting counting your stitches to relax 🙏🏻😂🙈😂😂 …. until I saw the ‘crafting’ comments 🙈🙈
i want so badly to have a sign on me at all times that says "do not talk to me, i have no self control and will talk to you for hours and not get any work done"
“Please save me from myself and don’t ask me about what I just read on Wikipedia” that’s your sign
Unless the spouse enjoys being disrespected or she has an appointment with a therapist, it's time to say goodbye!
I will say that I came into this post thinking you were NT and spouse has undiagnosed AuDHD... If I understood correctly, then remove the word *"please"*.... this needs to be a declarative statement to help them properly identify and associate this as being a hard boundary and not a simple request. Think of it this way, ND thinkers tend to go into things with Black & White thinking. For me at least, when communication is given to me, I rank them. I look for indicators like word choice, punctuation, bold & italics as visual context clues of what to focus on. This is why I love writing and communication. It's a crucial mix of art and science, and without effectively transmitting messages to obtain shared meaning... no relationship of ANY kind can thrive. Best of luck to you and your partner! 💕
I’m diagnosed AuDHD. I was definitely writing to my particular audience here and it worked so well. He has saved the sign and told me how much he loved it because it showed how well I understood him and his specific brain.
Okay, bless you for responding. Maybe I was closer to burnout than I realized yesterday because I SWEAR I started reading Comme ts where the inflections tone were having you be NT, and so then I went and overanalyzed trying to decide which scenario. Tha KS for understanding. 
Girl you need to use stitch markers for stitch counting. I mark every 10 stitches so if I lose count or get distracted, I don’t have to go all the way back and recount from the beginning.
Lmao I do! I did! It’s about tension not count
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Good thing I did it for my husband who I know really well and won’t feel that way, and not for you :) I use this character to explain my own feelings a lot because I have alexithymia as does he. He also has a difficult time connecting his actions to others’ reactions. He’s very concrete and doesn’t understand feelings language at all.
You posted on a public forum yet get snappy when people reply to your post. If your husband is the one that has undiagnosed AuDHD then saying he has a "goldfish brain" is really demeaning. Coming from a DIAGNOSED autistic person, we don't have goldfish brains, our brains just work differently. Edit: OP replied to my comment and explained the goldfish brain thing. I understand now.
They didn’t respond in a “snappy” way. You just read it that way because it was a response to your own comment and you naturally got a bit defensive. OP was explaining why this works for their family, and it’s ok if it wouldn’t work for you! It wouldn’t work for me either - my feelings might get a bit hurt. But it works for them and their husband and that’s what matters!
Thank you. Learning what works for him has been a decade’s long process and has been hard. He saw the sign and he loved it (I finished my stitches) and asked to keep it.
I agree with this comment. You're right I read OP's comment of "I made the sign for my husband, not for you :)" as very condescending. I just simply said the sign would make me feel infantalized. That was not a jab at the OP but it felt like the op took it as a jab.
The sign literally had nothing to do with you, so you gave unsolicited criticism by saying you would not have liked the sign.
>*so you gave unsolicited criticism by saying you would not have liked the sign.* It is not unsolicited when posted on a public forum open for replies. Why are the replies saying they love/like the signs not unsolicited but mine saying I wouldn't have liked it unsolicited? That's a double standard.
If criticism is not *asked for*, it is unsolicited. Unsolicited compliments are welcome because they are not negative. It is about the emotional impact on the recipient.
I am diagnosed Autistic and ADHD which is why I’m posting in a forum called Autism in Women. I’m not being snappy, I’m autistic and direct. I’m also shocked at the hypocrisy of your comment (posted in a public forum, your response was about your feelings and I was trying to politely point out that this sign wasn’t for you and then you become harsh and speak for the community I am also in in such a way as to silence my pov?) I said my husband’s brain. Not because he’s autistic but because he’s him. It’s a thing we say to each other with love. Again it’s about him, not you. Also I posted in a public forum that I thought would be supportive and kind in a world that treats me like shit. I didn’t know that we’ve now just accepted that entering into the public space with our own words means we are expected to accept the kicks that other people want to give us
I think your response was reasonable and not snappy in any way, I felt your smiley face was sincere :) I like your sign OP!! I think it's considerate, if you told him and he forgot and disturbed you he'd probably feel guilty and you frustrated - this is the perfect way to avoid that.
He does!! He beats himself up over it and it breaks my heart because it’s so clearly the ADHD and he just loves me and thought of something to say. He is in the diagnoses process after years of denial and he’s really excited!!
I'm autistic and direct too which is why I gave feedback on the picture and how I'd take it. Things posted on public forums are open for discussion but if that's not the case then that should be specified. I do think it's a bit unfair to expect other people to know what terminology and words are accepted between your husband. We don't know your relationship. I went off what I read.
I read and interpreted it the same way you did, don’t worry about it.
I'm not. Let people downvote me. I don't care. I gave feedback on the sign itself in my first reply. Nowhere was that a jab at OP.
As per Rule # 2: Be kind, supportive, and respectful. OP knows her/their husband. You do not.
what happened to you finger?
I have Psoriatic arthritis that has claimed many of my fingernails and before they diagnosed me, it was so painful I’d pick the skin that hurt to relieve the pain. And kinda got addicted to it. So now I cover it to protect me from myself and because they’re not cute :(
i am sorry, for a while i worked on a follow-up treatment with infliximab with humans that had psoriasis with or without arthritis and i remember how persons were stigmatizing them for either nails or plaques, and this kind of behavior made them feel alone sometimes there is an uncleared link between inflammation and adhd and autism that at least in terms of symptoms is relatively clear because when you have an inflammation process sometimes silent and the others painful , this process directly affects your adhd autistic threats like increasing the risk of a meltdown and the worst is that the people surrounding you are mean then it also starts lonely feeling btw i hope your nails are better ☺️
There’s def a link between PsA and autism! One of my biggest *gahhh whyyyyyyy* about not getting my autism dx sooner is that we would have likely figured out that I have PsA and not RA years sooner and the nails could have been saved! Just started Skyrizi, hope it helps better than the others have. Fortunately, I dont much care what people think of my nails. I am now straight sized but I used to be almost 400 lbs, so I’m def used to being a bit of an oddity in public and found that those worth knowing don’t care!