As a kid I didn't talk about it in public because I didn't really talk in public. I also felt vague shame about it as I knew my male relatives are not supposed to know even though I didn't know why. Now as an adult, even though I know it's a hush hush topic in mixed groups (can't offend men's sensitivities), I think it's a stupid rule so when I have cramps I talk about it about the same as I would about a headache. I don't go into details, but I just don't see the point in pretending I'm not in pain when I am.
Yep. I made it my mission to educate the boys (I was mostly friends with boys). Still don't have any problems talking about it, or just about any topic. I don't get taboo topics.
I think the concept of taboo topics has been co-opted to prevent us humans from talking about how we have effectively been duped into continuously funding the military industrial war complex
Goal; Get people so caught up in their own heads about being human, and being engaged & in a body- partaking in "the human condition"
The malware - the mis information, programming loops seem to be intentional
In order to trip up both young and old humans, to distract and detract us, from being able to see and interface with Reality
When I was growing up, there was a show called the Power Rangers - they rode in mechanical vehicles that joined forces to be able to implement larger actions as a larger machine. I see this as a great analogy of humans in societies.
Maybe I'm delusional, but I still have hope in humanity !
Maybe one day we'll be able to
Uplift and encourage one another through this human condition and existential angst ,
Rather than ,
Choosing to continue to parrot the malware programming of the Imperialist Empire
And I get it the golden handcuffs are real for some people
In the Roman Empire days they used to divide and conquer , and distract and detract from actual issues, utilizing Bread and Circuses..
"Food" and entertainment"
Can you imagine a world where humans are taught about our bodies, and instead of shame were taught to embrace the biodiversity of life which we are a part of ??!
Me too. And more importantly I realized I feel offended if people would consider it disgusting. Of course it depends who I talk to, I understand that, but I am describing things always in a very factual manner. After all, it is a natural process. If people feel offended/disgusted (usually men), I always have to think of this video where people would find it disgusting if someone bought toilet paper in public and „accused“ the others of doing number two too when asked why she‘d buy toilet paper 😅
I don’t flaunt my period in public, but I’ve been trying to unlearn the shame around it. I don’t try to hide pads anymore when I need to change mine, I just grab it from my desk drawer and hold it in my hand. It’s literally five or six paces from my desk to the bathroom door so I found it kind of pointless trying to hide it, and I don’t think anyone at my work would’ve cared. I mean, if holding a clean pad is ‘gross’, wouldn’t it be equally ‘gross’ if I was seen going into the storage room for a fresh toilet roll to replace depleted stock in the bathroom? Yet the latter is never remarked upon while apparently some take offence to the former. People need to grow up, regarding periods.
God no, hated everything about it. I didn't want to hear about it for the same reason you listed about sex - I didn't want to imagine anyone, including myself, having it. For a while I would get internally hung up on "So and So is 12..that's in the age range...does SHE have it yet? Is she having it RIGHT NOW?" The only way I knew back then to break loops like that was to just try to think of the thing as little as possible, making me dread my own period for years. (Now I dread it because it's fucking exhausting lol.)
Socially speaking, I got *some of* the same message about periods, that there was nothing wrong with having one, but also that it's a private thing. So the messaging overall was only the crass talk about it, and from witness/experience, one gets made fun of if someone finds out you're on yours.
Nice little tempest in a teapot, all that. 🫠
Yep. Same thing happened when i was asked if I masturbated by a classmate. I naievely started talking about how yes, its normal, natural etc etc.
Yes i was bullied about it continiously for month, even years later. Hope they're proud of themselves. B*ches.
I talk about freely because I don’t see anything wrong with it. My mom tells me she doesn’t want to know about it, but like why?? You go through the same thing like me, what are we ashamed for?!
I took the phrase “time of the month” very literally and assumed all women with a period would bleed once a month at the exact same time… hence “time of the month” so when I went to the bathroom and saw I was bleeding but I was the ONLY one in the bathroom, I assumed I was the only person in my school with a period. So I was embarrassed then but after it was explained to me and I realized all women go through it, I had no problem talking about it. Lol
I'm so sorry but this sounds so much like my 14 year old cousin and let me tell you I think she is an absolute badass, one of the coolest people I've known in my entire life, and whenever I see her do / say stuff like that I feel so proud of her and happy she is able to express!
I spent last year telling her everything I possibly could about autism because she finally is realizing she's probably also autistic like me and I feel so lucky to be able to remind her that even if you communicate differently - you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness, and it doesn't make you any less cool or wonderful of a person!!
My gosh I wish I'd been in school with you! My parents handle my period with such extreme secrecy and shame that I got the feeling I'd caught some sort of deathly plague. Mom just handed me a pad and solemnly informed me that I could get pregnant now (I WAS NINE AND SHE DID NOT CLARIFY HOW THIS HAPPENED SO I WAS EXTREMELY CONCERNED FOR YEARS). We hid the period products in the lowest corner drawer in the bathroom, under towels that never got used. One time I left the drawer open, towels still hiding everything from view, and my father yelled at me because "what if he or \[my brother\] saw something," as if a box of pads was on par with full frontal nudity or something.
I had so much confusion about the whole thing, and no one talked about it at school, or church, or in my female friend groups. I would have thought I was the only person in the world getting periods if not for tampon commercials on the discovery channel. I could have used a classmate loudly announcing her period to the class, I would have had questions LMAO!
I love that this is how you felt and behaved but no I was brought up with enough shame about my body that I didn't do this. I did start fighting back against that shame early on though. I specifically remember consciously not hiding tampons or sanitary towels. Like if I was going to the bathroom, I would hold it from a corner so everyone could see what I was holding haha.
No. I was so ashamed of menstruation that even if someone else brought it up, I'd be almost paralysed with humiliation. The same with any other bodily function, really. At school, a girl in another restroom stall said she could hear me peeing. This was over twenty-five years ago. I still feel shy about peeing in public restrooms.
Not when I was younger because I didn’t talk much at all lol. But now I’ll talk about it openly, I don’t care. I have PMDD and endometriosis so my period puts me in agony every month. I really don’t care how uncomfortable people get because it pales in comparison to the pain I’m going through 🤷🏻♀️ Plus like you said, it’s a normal bodily function so there’s no reason for it to be shameful
i had endometriosis pain from my first menses which only got worse and worse to the point it was debilitating at a very young age.
i had zero qualms about letting anyone know exactly why i was in pain or exhausted! i had to suffer, you want to know what my deal is, my deal is my period is killing me!
Not personally, but I am a trans woman. My mom, however, was very open and casual talking about her period and I normalized that. I found it bizarre so much in pop culture the way periods were portrayed since it's just something that like almost half the human population deals with and the fact men would ridicule and be disgusted by it instead of providing support to women who suffer really bad periods was so bizarre. My mom had awful cramps and things so I would help her when I could. Funny enough when taking spiro with my hrt I also got severe cramp like symptoms and my mom helped me through those, while apologizing for me inheriting them. I'm just amazed she could walk, I was on the floor crying for hours they were that bad.
Oh my god one time in middle school, a girl was asking me about first period (as in the class) and it went over my head. I proceeded to tell her that I hadn’t gotten mine yet and that most women in my family started late. She looked horrified…took me a while to realize that was not what she was asking 😭
I used to be shamed for period talk and stopped as a kid, but in adulthood found the secrecy of it to be ridiculous enough for me not to care who hears. I don't care if it's a man or woman, if anyone shushes or shames me now, I just shame them right back by accusing them of staying ignorant by silencing or not believing half the population. Usually, their reasoning is to call it gross, so I tell them they were unfairly taught to see this completely normal thing as gross and that it's a viewpoint too sexist to keep holding onto, especially in this day and age. Fortunately, women are usually in agreement after this. The men are all different. If brought up again, some will avoid it completely by leaving. Some will look uncomfortable, but stay silent. And some luckily end up learning things they were never taught and even ask questions. It's a disservice to keep it hidden and not speak of it.
Yep. I still have a bit of an issue with it when it's like not in a busy place where just anybody and especially kids especially for topics about sex but yeah I had always had a very I guess clinical connection to my period and saw it as nothing more than talking about a recurring cough or sneeze or seasonal allergy..
I also had and still have a similar relationship with my breasts. I see them for their biological purpose of feeding babies first despite being childfree, annoyances on my body (because I'm unfortunately a member of the "big titty committee" and I want my membership revoked and a membership to the "itty bitty titty committee instead" and no more back pain, ill fitting clothes, or boob sweat for the rest of my days) second, built in stress balls third (adhders and autistics here with built in stress balls y'all better stop lying and admit to yourselves that sometimes you catch yourselves nonsexually groping yourselves to stim when you're alone you don't need to publicly confess but just know you ain't alone and you ain't wrong for it and it's normal when you have built in stress balls to unconsciously start squeezing nonsexually XD), and things that turn some people on last. I just never had a strong connection with breasts as sexual objects and see a sexual link to them as having the same sexual link to something like feet: neither do anything towards procreation they're just common fetishes and kinks yet with one, the people demand women to cover up much more than the other in public. Outside of that, I'm not very open about discussing sex and especially not when it's sex outside of procreation. I'm not really prudish or anything I just find that I can't do so with men because they think it means I'm trying to proposition them but I'm a lesbian so no thanks and I can't with women because they think I'm trying to proposition them too and I become the gross predatory lesbian hitting on straight lesbian. Just talking about sex is seen as basically going "I want you to do this with me" where I am so it's mostly cultural.
Yes, I got mine early and I love talking about taboo subjects generally (as long as it's not actively harmful). I think it's silly that basic biology is treated as something unspeakable. It didn't help that my mother made sure I had a solid understanding of the reproductive tract and functionality at a very young age; when it came time for sex ed, I knew more about some topics than the instructors
No. I was a kid in the 60s. My mom wouldn't even talk about it. She'd leave a booklet on my bed. I never talked about it with my girlfriends. I just kept it all to myself. I still don't share those experiences, even though I'm all done with that now.
I never wanted to get my period, and when I got it at 14 I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, ever.
My mom called up all the women in our family that I had joined the club, and threw a period party inviting them, which is among the top five most mortifying experiences in my life.
When I was eight, though, I did a year of homeschooling (we couldn't afford school that year) and learned basics about sex and human anatomy that year, too.
When I went back to school the year after, I saw nothing wrong with pointing out anatomically incorrect toy animals, and telling the teacher (who did ask us to tell her what it was) that what she was holding in her hands was a horse penis.
My classmates were horrified, and taught me that it was apparently a taboo topic, which baffled me. Since they OBVIOUSLY didn't understand, I taught them everything I knew during break times until a teacher eventually told me to stop, and they'd learn when they were older.
I was about 9 so yeah. Didn’t really understand the stigma, and my friends where all guys so I would be talking to them about how crazy it was that I was suddenly having to deal with being so much pain once and month.
I do this too! I would do it all the time in class, although I tried to gauge that people were 100% comfortable beforehand. It made me very sad that they told me to stop because I don’t think these topics should be so taboo in the first place 😢 They’re just a part of life, like anything else.
Yes, I have always talked about it openly to everyone. I used to correct people on not calling it a period but menstruation or menstrual cycle. My girl friends thought I was so cool to be so open and wished they could be like me. I put on “pussy parties” where I taught girls about menstruation and we would sew cloth pads together. Hah, thanks for the reminder, totally forgot about this.
I was so ashamed of it because I never had it presented to me in a positive light. Any time my mom talked about it her face would get really stern-looking and she would talk down to me in her serious voice like I was in trouble or something lol. I wanted everyone to assume I didn’t have them. Now idgaf who knows about my periods and the issues that come with them. My guy friends know if I’m having PMDD too. If they can’t handle a simple fact of life they aren’t worth my time.
I'm trans so no lol, but I was never phased or grossed out when periods came up. I actually got so confused by everyone's reaction that I googled what a period was just to double check that I was thinking of the same thing
I remember in 6th grade when I got in HUGE trouble because I asked a friend of mine if she was on her period. We were at an after-school event (I want to say some kind of music performance, because our parents were there), and she was being really short and irritable and just generally seemed like she didn't want to be there. I asked if she was on her period because I was concerned she was in pain, or otherwise feeling awful, and I wanted to show sympathy/support if that was the situation. I was NOT prepared for the angry backlash from her, her parents, and my mom. I had no idea it was a taboo subject, let alone that it could be taken as misogyny.
In my junior year hs English class, we read the book “The Things They Carried.” Before starting the book, we did this in-class activity where we all shared something in our backpacks and why we carry it with us every day. I decided to talk about carrying menstrual pads with me bc I have a uterus that bleeds sometimes, so I always have pads on me in case I or friends need them. This made my teacher very uncomfortable, but I didn’t really understand why 😅
I’m very open about sex and bodily functions, but I don’t want to make people uncomfortable. I just have trouble understanding why they’re socially taboo to talk about
Honestly I think it’s a topic that can only be made less uncomfortable by a person needing to confront it.
Like if you are going into detail about how it feels to pass a blood clot during a period, maybe back off. But if you are simply acknowledging the existence of periods or that they can cause pain/discomfort, then I think it’s a scenario where making people uncomfortable is a necessary evil on the path to reducing stigma.
I wouldn't talk loudly about it (literally) because I wasn't that loud in a classroom setting. But I have and will express my discomfort about my period.
As an adult, I don't have to ask to use the bathroom or go get a pad from my purse, but I was always ready to dare a mf to test me. I don't remember any occasions where it was a problem.
However, I was always under the impression that I shouldn't just be like yeah I'm bleeding heeeeavy right now. I didnt get graphic. But I would bring it up, casually, and again...dare a mf to say I shouldn't talk about my normal bodily function that impacts my entire body and mental/emotional health for literally half a month or so, for all 12 months, for...most of my life. Fuck that.
There's only been a couple times where anyone seemed bothered by it, and I made it clear it was pretty foul on their part.
God no, it made me insecure. On rare occasions, I'll make it up to excuse my behavior. I'm having a hard time speaking up for myself yet facing the repercussions for it. My period lessens or removes the repercussions for saying what I need to say. And saying what I need to say actually let's me express the emotions I'd otherwise ruminate on for an eternity. I actually don't use the excuse too often because it'll remove the validity of my words since I'm saying "it's just because I was hormonal."
I'm in therapy. At some point I'll speak my mind and face the consequences such as burned bridges. I'm not in a place where I can do that right now. I'd have no one there for me. That sounds selfish, but I'd genuinely get in a position where I'd need to jump my car, and I'd have absolutely no one.
I most definitely did. I was one that constantly over shared private information like that. My mom would always get on me for that, but I didn't understand better alternatives then.
I mean I still do to a certain extent lol. I really do think that periods need to be destigmatized. I get people don’t want to hear about the gory details but at the same time they shouldn’t be grossed out by the fact that someone is ON their period or has cramps, etc.
I’m the same. If anyone asked how it’s going and I’m in pms or menstruation period I just say that, and in my younger years I could say really embarrassing things apparently while I thought I said it in creative ways lol but I can still remember the shocked looks I got.
Currently I try to discern what my relationship with someone is but still most of the time I say that I’m in my difficult week due to my cycle. I just can’t lie about these things and it’s in general just extremely weird that it’s a taboo, like every woman bleeds and that’s truth for all the ages that has been and that will be.
Yep
I was personally responsible for educating my friends on puberty and sex as my mother gave us some books
She got complaints
Note - this was the early 80s
Of course. Still would, if it was “socially acceptable.” But I found a great gender neutral alternative to Aunt Flo: My Bloody Buddy is in town for a visit.
Yes! I never understood why people were so ashamed to talk about it and passed pads to other girls like they were passing ilegal drugs or something!
I got my period really young as well (11) and had very intense flows (still do). Multiple times during my teen years I “leaked” and stained my pants/chair.
I’d just get up, clean the chair, ask teacher to go to the washroom, clean myself and put on other pants (usually had other ones for such accidents).
People would look at me like I was an alien. But I didn’t get it. Periods are normal! Its not my fault I bleed. And its not like pee/poo that you can control when it comes out! 🤷♀️
Honestly me, I get periods bad. Very heavy and very painful. If people ask me what's wrong I just outright tell them and always have done. I have zero shame and zero patience for people's hang ups about it. I don't care if people think it's taboo I'm the one in agony.
Might be because I was raised by a family that is predominantly female.
No. I was so embarrassed of my body. I didn’t want anyone knowing I had my period. I was one of the first girls to get it in my class at 11, and all the boys were already making comments about my boobs. It was so embarrassing.
no but i dont think ive ever seen any shame surrounding it, boys just didn't care? it's not like they didn't have mothers. i did make jokes about how sometimes the girls bathroom smelled like menstrual blood tho
My mom gets PISSED that I’m open about it. She also wants me to wrap my wrappers so that “no one is the house will know.” I’m 25. I don’t give a fuck lady, who cares?? I’m still fairly open about it. If I’m dying from cramps and someone asks why I’m in a crumpled up ball I just tell them I’ve got cramps lol
Yes! All of this. I have zero filter and I've never understood why anybody wouldn't talk about bodily functions that affect them. If you are my friend, you probably know way too much about me. I still do this. I actually just left my mother-in-law's house where I was very explicit with the details of why my titties hurt. Note that it is because I'm on my period not because of some weird s&m s***. I didn't realize until I was halfway home that she was trying to give me every nonverbal signal to please stop. LMAO. Her husband was also in the room and it never occurred to me
I was happy to finally have something that made me feel like a grown up and on par with the rest of my peers, so I would share it if the opportunity came up. Then later it did genuinely become an issue (currently in the process of getting an endo diagnosis) and I bled through my pants on more than one occasion. You couldn’t pay me enough to live through grades 7-9 again
No. I started my period when I was 9, which was traumatizing in itself. I always had shame around bodily stuff and anything to do with puberty or sex. Had medical trauma as a child that led to that, as well as being raised around purity culture… :(
I didn't as a child but I do now! A few years ago I decided one of my goals was to normalize talking about menstruation, and menopause. Yes, people think I'm weird but I don't care, its my goals.
yes!! omg i thought this was just a "me" thing. my teacher once told me that i looked like i didn't feel good so i just casually said "yeah, i have my period and i am having bad cramps." the teacher recoiled and was completely horrified. i still don't understand what the big deal is...
Yessss, I’ve never understood why periods were taboo. I understand that it grosses men out but I never understood why what was enough or a reason for the norm to be that all people with periods are supposed to hide the pain. AND I love educating men who really don’t know how period having people’s hormone cycles and menstruation work!!! Like this stuff is important and also affects me 1/4 of the time!!!!!
I’m still very open about my periods because I have PCOS and I found out very late that they were not within the realm of normal. If more people were open about their periods and what is and is not normal, maybe I wouldn’t have suffered the way I did.
But now that I think of it, my mom impressed upon me very young that it was not for polite society to talk about it. So I didn’t bring it up but as soon as someone else did… lmao fair game. However as I grow older I recognize more and more the “rules” that I’ve been living under due to my mom growing up in a Mennonite culture. A lot of them are just not right and I’m hoping to break some of those so that any children I might have do not have the burden of unnecessary rules like that.
As a kid I didn't talk about it in public because I didn't really talk in public. I also felt vague shame about it as I knew my male relatives are not supposed to know even though I didn't know why. Now as an adult, even though I know it's a hush hush topic in mixed groups (can't offend men's sensitivities), I think it's a stupid rule so when I have cramps I talk about it about the same as I would about a headache. I don't go into details, but I just don't see the point in pretending I'm not in pain when I am.
Yep. I made it my mission to educate the boys (I was mostly friends with boys). Still don't have any problems talking about it, or just about any topic. I don't get taboo topics.
Seconding this, the concept of taboo topics seems childish to me.
I think the concept of taboo topics has been co-opted to prevent us humans from talking about how we have effectively been duped into continuously funding the military industrial war complex Goal; Get people so caught up in their own heads about being human, and being engaged & in a body- partaking in "the human condition" The malware - the mis information, programming loops seem to be intentional In order to trip up both young and old humans, to distract and detract us, from being able to see and interface with Reality When I was growing up, there was a show called the Power Rangers - they rode in mechanical vehicles that joined forces to be able to implement larger actions as a larger machine. I see this as a great analogy of humans in societies. Maybe I'm delusional, but I still have hope in humanity ! Maybe one day we'll be able to Uplift and encourage one another through this human condition and existential angst , Rather than , Choosing to continue to parrot the malware programming of the Imperialist Empire And I get it the golden handcuffs are real for some people In the Roman Empire days they used to divide and conquer , and distract and detract from actual issues, utilizing Bread and Circuses.. "Food" and entertainment" Can you imagine a world where humans are taught about our bodies, and instead of shame were taught to embrace the biodiversity of life which we are a part of ??!
Same for me, especially boys who didn't have sisters they were mostly just curious as to what happens and how bad cramps can get etc
lmfaoo me. im very open with talking about bodily processes
Me too. And more importantly I realized I feel offended if people would consider it disgusting. Of course it depends who I talk to, I understand that, but I am describing things always in a very factual manner. After all, it is a natural process. If people feel offended/disgusted (usually men), I always have to think of this video where people would find it disgusting if someone bought toilet paper in public and „accused“ the others of doing number two too when asked why she‘d buy toilet paper 😅
I don’t flaunt my period in public, but I’ve been trying to unlearn the shame around it. I don’t try to hide pads anymore when I need to change mine, I just grab it from my desk drawer and hold it in my hand. It’s literally five or six paces from my desk to the bathroom door so I found it kind of pointless trying to hide it, and I don’t think anyone at my work would’ve cared. I mean, if holding a clean pad is ‘gross’, wouldn’t it be equally ‘gross’ if I was seen going into the storage room for a fresh toilet roll to replace depleted stock in the bathroom? Yet the latter is never remarked upon while apparently some take offence to the former. People need to grow up, regarding periods.
no my father made sure i knew it was gross and shameful almost immediately 🥲 /s
Same. 😢
God no, hated everything about it. I didn't want to hear about it for the same reason you listed about sex - I didn't want to imagine anyone, including myself, having it. For a while I would get internally hung up on "So and So is 12..that's in the age range...does SHE have it yet? Is she having it RIGHT NOW?" The only way I knew back then to break loops like that was to just try to think of the thing as little as possible, making me dread my own period for years. (Now I dread it because it's fucking exhausting lol.) Socially speaking, I got *some of* the same message about periods, that there was nothing wrong with having one, but also that it's a private thing. So the messaging overall was only the crass talk about it, and from witness/experience, one gets made fun of if someone finds out you're on yours. Nice little tempest in a teapot, all that. 🫠
Yep. Same thing happened when i was asked if I masturbated by a classmate. I naievely started talking about how yes, its normal, natural etc etc. Yes i was bullied about it continiously for month, even years later. Hope they're proud of themselves. B*ches.
Why would they even ask that? As if everyone doesn't do it lol.
Omg this happened to me too wth. I was bullied for years.
I talk about freely because I don’t see anything wrong with it. My mom tells me she doesn’t want to know about it, but like why?? You go through the same thing like me, what are we ashamed for?!
I took the phrase “time of the month” very literally and assumed all women with a period would bleed once a month at the exact same time… hence “time of the month” so when I went to the bathroom and saw I was bleeding but I was the ONLY one in the bathroom, I assumed I was the only person in my school with a period. So I was embarrassed then but after it was explained to me and I realized all women go through it, I had no problem talking about it. Lol
I'm so sorry but this sounds so much like my 14 year old cousin and let me tell you I think she is an absolute badass, one of the coolest people I've known in my entire life, and whenever I see her do / say stuff like that I feel so proud of her and happy she is able to express! I spent last year telling her everything I possibly could about autism because she finally is realizing she's probably also autistic like me and I feel so lucky to be able to remind her that even if you communicate differently - you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness, and it doesn't make you any less cool or wonderful of a person!!
I hid mine for a long time.
Me too.
My gosh I wish I'd been in school with you! My parents handle my period with such extreme secrecy and shame that I got the feeling I'd caught some sort of deathly plague. Mom just handed me a pad and solemnly informed me that I could get pregnant now (I WAS NINE AND SHE DID NOT CLARIFY HOW THIS HAPPENED SO I WAS EXTREMELY CONCERNED FOR YEARS). We hid the period products in the lowest corner drawer in the bathroom, under towels that never got used. One time I left the drawer open, towels still hiding everything from view, and my father yelled at me because "what if he or \[my brother\] saw something," as if a box of pads was on par with full frontal nudity or something. I had so much confusion about the whole thing, and no one talked about it at school, or church, or in my female friend groups. I would have thought I was the only person in the world getting periods if not for tampon commercials on the discovery channel. I could have used a classmate loudly announcing her period to the class, I would have had questions LMAO!
I was very quiet and secretive about it.
… i tried to hide it from my mom cause i just kinda figured it was the end and didn’t want her to worry
I love that this is how you felt and behaved but no I was brought up with enough shame about my body that I didn't do this. I did start fighting back against that shame early on though. I specifically remember consciously not hiding tampons or sanitary towels. Like if I was going to the bathroom, I would hold it from a corner so everyone could see what I was holding haha.
Nope. I didn’t even tell my mom I started it until several months later
Same.
No. I was so ashamed of menstruation that even if someone else brought it up, I'd be almost paralysed with humiliation. The same with any other bodily function, really. At school, a girl in another restroom stall said she could hear me peeing. This was over twenty-five years ago. I still feel shy about peeing in public restrooms.
Omg.. that happened to me too in elementary school!
Not when I was younger because I didn’t talk much at all lol. But now I’ll talk about it openly, I don’t care. I have PMDD and endometriosis so my period puts me in agony every month. I really don’t care how uncomfortable people get because it pales in comparison to the pain I’m going through 🤷🏻♀️ Plus like you said, it’s a normal bodily function so there’s no reason for it to be shameful
i had endometriosis pain from my first menses which only got worse and worse to the point it was debilitating at a very young age. i had zero qualms about letting anyone know exactly why i was in pain or exhausted! i had to suffer, you want to know what my deal is, my deal is my period is killing me!
Not personally, but I am a trans woman. My mom, however, was very open and casual talking about her period and I normalized that. I found it bizarre so much in pop culture the way periods were portrayed since it's just something that like almost half the human population deals with and the fact men would ridicule and be disgusted by it instead of providing support to women who suffer really bad periods was so bizarre. My mom had awful cramps and things so I would help her when I could. Funny enough when taking spiro with my hrt I also got severe cramp like symptoms and my mom helped me through those, while apologizing for me inheriting them. I'm just amazed she could walk, I was on the floor crying for hours they were that bad.
I talk openly about a lot of things and I wish I didn’t
Oh my god one time in middle school, a girl was asking me about first period (as in the class) and it went over my head. I proceeded to tell her that I hadn’t gotten mine yet and that most women in my family started late. She looked horrified…took me a while to realize that was not what she was asking 😭
I used to be shamed for period talk and stopped as a kid, but in adulthood found the secrecy of it to be ridiculous enough for me not to care who hears. I don't care if it's a man or woman, if anyone shushes or shames me now, I just shame them right back by accusing them of staying ignorant by silencing or not believing half the population. Usually, their reasoning is to call it gross, so I tell them they were unfairly taught to see this completely normal thing as gross and that it's a viewpoint too sexist to keep holding onto, especially in this day and age. Fortunately, women are usually in agreement after this. The men are all different. If brought up again, some will avoid it completely by leaving. Some will look uncomfortable, but stay silent. And some luckily end up learning things they were never taught and even ask questions. It's a disservice to keep it hidden and not speak of it.
Yep. I still have a bit of an issue with it when it's like not in a busy place where just anybody and especially kids especially for topics about sex but yeah I had always had a very I guess clinical connection to my period and saw it as nothing more than talking about a recurring cough or sneeze or seasonal allergy.. I also had and still have a similar relationship with my breasts. I see them for their biological purpose of feeding babies first despite being childfree, annoyances on my body (because I'm unfortunately a member of the "big titty committee" and I want my membership revoked and a membership to the "itty bitty titty committee instead" and no more back pain, ill fitting clothes, or boob sweat for the rest of my days) second, built in stress balls third (adhders and autistics here with built in stress balls y'all better stop lying and admit to yourselves that sometimes you catch yourselves nonsexually groping yourselves to stim when you're alone you don't need to publicly confess but just know you ain't alone and you ain't wrong for it and it's normal when you have built in stress balls to unconsciously start squeezing nonsexually XD), and things that turn some people on last. I just never had a strong connection with breasts as sexual objects and see a sexual link to them as having the same sexual link to something like feet: neither do anything towards procreation they're just common fetishes and kinks yet with one, the people demand women to cover up much more than the other in public. Outside of that, I'm not very open about discussing sex and especially not when it's sex outside of procreation. I'm not really prudish or anything I just find that I can't do so with men because they think it means I'm trying to proposition them but I'm a lesbian so no thanks and I can't with women because they think I'm trying to proposition them too and I become the gross predatory lesbian hitting on straight lesbian. Just talking about sex is seen as basically going "I want you to do this with me" where I am so it's mostly cultural.
Yes, I got mine early and I love talking about taboo subjects generally (as long as it's not actively harmful). I think it's silly that basic biology is treated as something unspeakable. It didn't help that my mother made sure I had a solid understanding of the reproductive tract and functionality at a very young age; when it came time for sex ed, I knew more about some topics than the instructors
Not just as a kid, I do as an adult too. I'm in peri menopausal right now and also talk freely about that, and not just to women either.
No. I was a kid in the 60s. My mom wouldn't even talk about it. She'd leave a booklet on my bed. I never talked about it with my girlfriends. I just kept it all to myself. I still don't share those experiences, even though I'm all done with that now.
I never wanted to get my period, and when I got it at 14 I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, ever. My mom called up all the women in our family that I had joined the club, and threw a period party inviting them, which is among the top five most mortifying experiences in my life. When I was eight, though, I did a year of homeschooling (we couldn't afford school that year) and learned basics about sex and human anatomy that year, too. When I went back to school the year after, I saw nothing wrong with pointing out anatomically incorrect toy animals, and telling the teacher (who did ask us to tell her what it was) that what she was holding in her hands was a horse penis. My classmates were horrified, and taught me that it was apparently a taboo topic, which baffled me. Since they OBVIOUSLY didn't understand, I taught them everything I knew during break times until a teacher eventually told me to stop, and they'd learn when they were older.
I was about 9 so yeah. Didn’t really understand the stigma, and my friends where all guys so I would be talking to them about how crazy it was that I was suddenly having to deal with being so much pain once and month.
I do this too! I would do it all the time in class, although I tried to gauge that people were 100% comfortable beforehand. It made me very sad that they told me to stop because I don’t think these topics should be so taboo in the first place 😢 They’re just a part of life, like anything else.
Yes, I have always talked about it openly to everyone. I used to correct people on not calling it a period but menstruation or menstrual cycle. My girl friends thought I was so cool to be so open and wished they could be like me. I put on “pussy parties” where I taught girls about menstruation and we would sew cloth pads together. Hah, thanks for the reminder, totally forgot about this.
I was so ashamed of it because I never had it presented to me in a positive light. Any time my mom talked about it her face would get really stern-looking and she would talk down to me in her serious voice like I was in trouble or something lol. I wanted everyone to assume I didn’t have them. Now idgaf who knows about my periods and the issues that come with them. My guy friends know if I’m having PMDD too. If they can’t handle a simple fact of life they aren’t worth my time.
I'm trans so no lol, but I was never phased or grossed out when periods came up. I actually got so confused by everyone's reaction that I googled what a period was just to double check that I was thinking of the same thing
When I was a kid it took me awhile to learn not to talk about bathroom stuff. ~~I just thought it was cool how long my poop was~~
I remember in 6th grade when I got in HUGE trouble because I asked a friend of mine if she was on her period. We were at an after-school event (I want to say some kind of music performance, because our parents were there), and she was being really short and irritable and just generally seemed like she didn't want to be there. I asked if she was on her period because I was concerned she was in pain, or otherwise feeling awful, and I wanted to show sympathy/support if that was the situation. I was NOT prepared for the angry backlash from her, her parents, and my mom. I had no idea it was a taboo subject, let alone that it could be taken as misogyny.
In my junior year hs English class, we read the book “The Things They Carried.” Before starting the book, we did this in-class activity where we all shared something in our backpacks and why we carry it with us every day. I decided to talk about carrying menstrual pads with me bc I have a uterus that bleeds sometimes, so I always have pads on me in case I or friends need them. This made my teacher very uncomfortable, but I didn’t really understand why 😅 I’m very open about sex and bodily functions, but I don’t want to make people uncomfortable. I just have trouble understanding why they’re socially taboo to talk about
Honestly I think it’s a topic that can only be made less uncomfortable by a person needing to confront it. Like if you are going into detail about how it feels to pass a blood clot during a period, maybe back off. But if you are simply acknowledging the existence of periods or that they can cause pain/discomfort, then I think it’s a scenario where making people uncomfortable is a necessary evil on the path to reducing stigma.
I wouldn't talk loudly about it (literally) because I wasn't that loud in a classroom setting. But I have and will express my discomfort about my period. As an adult, I don't have to ask to use the bathroom or go get a pad from my purse, but I was always ready to dare a mf to test me. I don't remember any occasions where it was a problem. However, I was always under the impression that I shouldn't just be like yeah I'm bleeding heeeeavy right now. I didnt get graphic. But I would bring it up, casually, and again...dare a mf to say I shouldn't talk about my normal bodily function that impacts my entire body and mental/emotional health for literally half a month or so, for all 12 months, for...most of my life. Fuck that. There's only been a couple times where anyone seemed bothered by it, and I made it clear it was pretty foul on their part.
God no, it made me insecure. On rare occasions, I'll make it up to excuse my behavior. I'm having a hard time speaking up for myself yet facing the repercussions for it. My period lessens or removes the repercussions for saying what I need to say. And saying what I need to say actually let's me express the emotions I'd otherwise ruminate on for an eternity. I actually don't use the excuse too often because it'll remove the validity of my words since I'm saying "it's just because I was hormonal." I'm in therapy. At some point I'll speak my mind and face the consequences such as burned bridges. I'm not in a place where I can do that right now. I'd have no one there for me. That sounds selfish, but I'd genuinely get in a position where I'd need to jump my car, and I'd have absolutely no one.
No way . I was unfortunate enough to start my period at 9. I felt so ashamed that I didn’t want anyone to know.
No, I was horrified by my period and didn't even tell my mom I got it.
OMG, well not to everyone but to my mom lmao.
Yep. I'm exactly the same, even today.
I did this a lot and could not keep my voice down as well, my sister usually goes to me, you talk too much about periods!
Everyone - no. But I feel like I could if I had a chance
I most definitely did. I was one that constantly over shared private information like that. My mom would always get on me for that, but I didn't understand better alternatives then.
I mean I still do to a certain extent lol. I really do think that periods need to be destigmatized. I get people don’t want to hear about the gory details but at the same time they shouldn’t be grossed out by the fact that someone is ON their period or has cramps, etc.
I’m the same. If anyone asked how it’s going and I’m in pms or menstruation period I just say that, and in my younger years I could say really embarrassing things apparently while I thought I said it in creative ways lol but I can still remember the shocked looks I got. Currently I try to discern what my relationship with someone is but still most of the time I say that I’m in my difficult week due to my cycle. I just can’t lie about these things and it’s in general just extremely weird that it’s a taboo, like every woman bleeds and that’s truth for all the ages that has been and that will be.
Yep I was personally responsible for educating my friends on puberty and sex as my mother gave us some books She got complaints Note - this was the early 80s
Yup. Want to add the entire reproductive system? 😂
Of course. Still would, if it was “socially acceptable.” But I found a great gender neutral alternative to Aunt Flo: My Bloody Buddy is in town for a visit.
I didn't as a kid, but I do as an adult. I think it should be a topic that's out in the open.
I didn't talk about it at all as a kid. I will talk about it openly as an adult (though not to my immediate family).
Same! I was so happy for myself. I thought I had became a woman. And people on my class were like O\_O
Yes! I never understood why people were so ashamed to talk about it and passed pads to other girls like they were passing ilegal drugs or something! I got my period really young as well (11) and had very intense flows (still do). Multiple times during my teen years I “leaked” and stained my pants/chair. I’d just get up, clean the chair, ask teacher to go to the washroom, clean myself and put on other pants (usually had other ones for such accidents). People would look at me like I was an alien. But I didn’t get it. Periods are normal! Its not my fault I bleed. And its not like pee/poo that you can control when it comes out! 🤷♀️
I talk openly about many things and so does my youngest child.
Honestly me, I get periods bad. Very heavy and very painful. If people ask me what's wrong I just outright tell them and always have done. I have zero shame and zero patience for people's hang ups about it. I don't care if people think it's taboo I'm the one in agony. Might be because I was raised by a family that is predominantly female.
No. I was so embarrassed of my body. I didn’t want anyone knowing I had my period. I was one of the first girls to get it in my class at 11, and all the boys were already making comments about my boobs. It was so embarrassing.
I wish there was no shame about periods. People blink and breathe all the time. Some people bleed for 25% of the month. Some 0 to 10% of the month.
I didn't talk about it much when i was younger since i didn't really have friends to talk about it with.
no but i dont think ive ever seen any shame surrounding it, boys just didn't care? it's not like they didn't have mothers. i did make jokes about how sometimes the girls bathroom smelled like menstrual blood tho
My mom gets PISSED that I’m open about it. She also wants me to wrap my wrappers so that “no one is the house will know.” I’m 25. I don’t give a fuck lady, who cares?? I’m still fairly open about it. If I’m dying from cramps and someone asks why I’m in a crumpled up ball I just tell them I’ve got cramps lol
Yes! All of this. I have zero filter and I've never understood why anybody wouldn't talk about bodily functions that affect them. If you are my friend, you probably know way too much about me. I still do this. I actually just left my mother-in-law's house where I was very explicit with the details of why my titties hurt. Note that it is because I'm on my period not because of some weird s&m s***. I didn't realize until I was halfway home that she was trying to give me every nonverbal signal to please stop. LMAO. Her husband was also in the room and it never occurred to me
Hell no, I wouldn't even do that now. I'm extremely protective of my privacy.
I was happy to finally have something that made me feel like a grown up and on par with the rest of my peers, so I would share it if the opportunity came up. Then later it did genuinely become an issue (currently in the process of getting an endo diagnosis) and I bled through my pants on more than one occasion. You couldn’t pay me enough to live through grades 7-9 again
YES Took me years to realize it’s supposed to be a shameful secret, like sorry my bodily functions are so scandalous
No. I started my period when I was 9, which was traumatizing in itself. I always had shame around bodily stuff and anything to do with puberty or sex. Had medical trauma as a child that led to that, as well as being raised around purity culture… :(
Yeah I’m still open about it.
I didn't as a child but I do now! A few years ago I decided one of my goals was to normalize talking about menstruation, and menopause. Yes, people think I'm weird but I don't care, its my goals.
I still have to try hard to keep it more discreet when there's men around. All ladies? All bets are off
I still do that now tbh 😂
yes!! omg i thought this was just a "me" thing. my teacher once told me that i looked like i didn't feel good so i just casually said "yeah, i have my period and i am having bad cramps." the teacher recoiled and was completely horrified. i still don't understand what the big deal is...
Yessss, I’ve never understood why periods were taboo. I understand that it grosses men out but I never understood why what was enough or a reason for the norm to be that all people with periods are supposed to hide the pain. AND I love educating men who really don’t know how period having people’s hormone cycles and menstruation work!!! Like this stuff is important and also affects me 1/4 of the time!!!!!
I’m still very open about my periods because I have PCOS and I found out very late that they were not within the realm of normal. If more people were open about their periods and what is and is not normal, maybe I wouldn’t have suffered the way I did. But now that I think of it, my mom impressed upon me very young that it was not for polite society to talk about it. So I didn’t bring it up but as soon as someone else did… lmao fair game. However as I grow older I recognize more and more the “rules” that I’ve been living under due to my mom growing up in a Mennonite culture. A lot of them are just not right and I’m hoping to break some of those so that any children I might have do not have the burden of unnecessary rules like that.