Christ please go to the doctor immediately, you have nerve damage. A doctor can help you, even if all they can do is advise you how to avoid events like this in the future
I really don’t mean this to be rude hun, I’m genuinely asking, but why did you ask for advice if you didn’t want to be told to go to the doctor for a medical issue?
I see that you’re struggling to trust your partner again, and I do understand that after an injury. But the way to minimize the risk of injury is to learn the medical info necessary to be as safe as possible during your kink play.
Was your partner knowledgeable when this injury occurred? Has he taken responsibility for his role in injuring you? Did he offer to get you medical help when it occurred?
That’s understandable but it’s really always best to check with a doctor. If you live in the US, do you have a primary care provider or local clinics? A lot of doctor’s offices provide reduced rates and payment plans for people without insurance.
If you call around a few places, they can let you know what the fee schedule would be like without insurance, and what payment plans / financial assistance is available.
If you go to the hospital or ER, many hospitals also provide financial assistance if you can’t pay. They do tend to be quite a hassle but it’s definitely possible.
I grew up in a family without health insurance so I understand how difficult and intimidating it can be, but don’t let it stop you from getting care. You definitely have a chance at healing your face!
Nerves can regrow with the correct medical help and if started soon enough, it's old information that nerves can't regrow. They have even been able to help nerve damage in the back regrow enough for some people to get some feeling and some movement back in the legs, though of course it depends on how bad it is, and only a doctor can tell you that.
On the flip side, nerve damage can get worse and you could end up loosing even more feeling and maybe even muscle control.
Why are you asking for advice is you’re going to disagree with the recommendations people give? This is clearly a medical issue and you would be foolish not to seek medical attention for it.
That's actually a false rumor - I had thought so, too, before my accident. I had nerve damage to the point I couldn't function (broken arm severed part of the nerve casing, scar tissue built up inside), but over a year and a half, I gained that back. It's not permanent, if you work at it.
I had to get a second then third surgery, in my case, but again, the nerve was basically cut into. I had to do some electrotherapy (avoid it if you can) and had almost two years of physical therapy as the nerves began to regain function and feeling.
Either way, that *fucking sucks.* I hope you can get it sorted out. Good luck, fam.
This sounds like nerve damage, we have a nerve and blood ways super highway down each side of our neck and under our clavicles. I’d bet he damaged one of your face nerves. Just a heads up this could take years to resolve depending on how much was damaged. It’s paramount to go to the doctors to get this checked.
Holy shit. I understand getting caught up in the heat of the moment but this is a really, really serious injury. I know you don't have insurance but you really need to be seen by a medical provider. Don't fuck around with nerves in your neck and face. I would, at the very least, not engage in rough play with this partner but I can't imagine coming back from a fuckup this huge.
I think more info is needed. Yes this is a fuckup that will not be easy to come back from, but I also don't understand. Was this something you had agreed to and it went wrong? Was this edge play gone wrong? Did you safeword?
There's some risk in kink when you give your partner permission to "be rough with you". And I see people are saying he was reckless and "had to bite with extreme force" but to be frank if you've simply hit your shin before and lost feeling in your entire leg, it sounds like you may have an underlying medical issue. I'm assuming you didn't mean dropping an anvil on it.
Are you by chance hyper mobile? A lot of connective tissue disorders can cause loose ligaments that make one prone to nerve damage. I know you don't have insurance, but I think you should at least read up on it. Something isn't adding up here.
You ignored so many of the questions here. It was related because it involves nerve damage you've had, and it seems silly to describe it as "hitting your shin" when it was much more serious according to your reply; that's very different. This info is important because it differentiates between a partner that intended to cause you harm (or at least didn't care if they did) and a partner that misjudged his force and hurt you by mistake.
I hope your face heals, you've been oddly defiant to people that you asked for advice and I am going to bow out. Best of luck.
Most people never experience nerve damage, the fact that you have is a potential sign of something medical. If you want to live your life with reversible nerve damage go ahead, but don't attack people for worrying about you.
If you’ve set these boundaries with him in the past and he did it a second time in a worse place, he’s probably not a safe person to stay with. Don’t stay with someone who is not only going to stomp on your boundaries but also hurt you. Nerve damage is no joke. He would have had to bite with extreme force. That’s not okay. If he ignored your boundaries even once, he’s probably going to do it again. Trust your instincts.
You're lucky he didn't sever your carotid artery. You'd be dead. I don't let people bite or give hickies on my neck anymore for that reason.
OP, I'm numb to varying degrees over about 40-50% of my body, as a paraplegic who cannot walk anymore. However, even with the varying numbness, I've made some progress, although it took months, sometimes.
I've been told by my doctors that full healing could take up to 18 months for some of my nerves. It could depend on which of your nerves are damaged and the way they were damaged (severed vs stretched vs torn). But don't give up hope!!! See a doctor as soon as possible.
Edit to add: I didn't have a carotid injury. I broke my back and had other injuries
You both need to be more specific with your boundaries. "More rough" doesn't say anything, get specifics of what that might entail so you know exactly what you are agreeing to.
He should have to go to the doctor with you and learn why it happened. He needs to incest the time in learning how to be rough safely so he isn't a risk himself.
Relationship wise?
No more biting. It hurt you, and it doesn't matter if it was an accident of passion, it's not okay.
If he reacts well to a new boundary, keep him.
Rebuild your trust, probably as slowly as your nerve will grow back, but it will
If he argues or gets shitty, eject him straight into the sun and get a new relationship
Relationship wise if this was a one time thing and he stopped when asked and feels bad about the situation you should try to forgive and trust him.
It sounds like you might have an odd medical condition that makes you more prone to nerve damage since just banging you shin made you numb. The best tops of the world will have accidents occasionally and especially if someone’s body is not typical. I had been playing for 15 years and I got onto a st Andrews cross where the x was just in the right height for me to rest my head and the further into subspace I went the further I was blood choking myself by accident. This is not my fault or his it just happened but we ended the session got me back to baseline and he decided no more play for me that night.
As far as. How do you go about trusting and forgiving? Idk that’s really up to you but it sounds like an an accident and I implore you to be extremely cautious and make know your nerves might do funky things if you ever decide to do rope. I also would not recommend rope suspension until you have seen a doctor and gotten the okay
Have you communicated this injury to him? Fuck ups happen, but the response and repair done after makes a huge difference. If he was horrified and apologized and changed his behavior, that's a great sign. If he shrugged it off and avoided taking responsibility, and continues to bite so hard in delicate areas, that's not great.
Sounds a lot like me friend that was diagnosed MS because for entirely different reasons parts of her body have been numb or on fire for months at a time.
I feel your pain. Was restrained tightly by a first time play partner. Tied hands behind my back. He wanted to whip me with long rubber dildo … all was cool. Except he hit my funny bone on my elbow. A nerve shock like you wouldn’t believe. We stopped due to my distress. I have had minor numbness down arm to pinky finger ever since. In my case, very slow healing if any. Been 4 years. Sorry for your issue. Hoping yours heals up.
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Christ please go to the doctor immediately, you have nerve damage. A doctor can help you, even if all they can do is advise you how to avoid events like this in the future
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I’m sorry you’ve been misinformed- many types of nerve damage are reversible with the correct treatment. Please do see a doctor.
I really don’t mean this to be rude hun, I’m genuinely asking, but why did you ask for advice if you didn’t want to be told to go to the doctor for a medical issue? I see that you’re struggling to trust your partner again, and I do understand that after an injury. But the way to minimize the risk of injury is to learn the medical info necessary to be as safe as possible during your kink play. Was your partner knowledgeable when this injury occurred? Has he taken responsibility for his role in injuring you? Did he offer to get you medical help when it occurred?
[удалено]
That’s understandable but it’s really always best to check with a doctor. If you live in the US, do you have a primary care provider or local clinics? A lot of doctor’s offices provide reduced rates and payment plans for people without insurance. If you call around a few places, they can let you know what the fee schedule would be like without insurance, and what payment plans / financial assistance is available. If you go to the hospital or ER, many hospitals also provide financial assistance if you can’t pay. They do tend to be quite a hassle but it’s definitely possible. I grew up in a family without health insurance so I understand how difficult and intimidating it can be, but don’t let it stop you from getting care. You definitely have a chance at healing your face!
Layman’s research is always going to be of poorer quality than that of a professional.
Nerves can regrow with the correct medical help and if started soon enough, it's old information that nerves can't regrow. They have even been able to help nerve damage in the back regrow enough for some people to get some feeling and some movement back in the legs, though of course it depends on how bad it is, and only a doctor can tell you that. On the flip side, nerve damage can get worse and you could end up loosing even more feeling and maybe even muscle control.
Why are you asking for advice is you’re going to disagree with the recommendations people give? This is clearly a medical issue and you would be foolish not to seek medical attention for it.
That's actually a false rumor - I had thought so, too, before my accident. I had nerve damage to the point I couldn't function (broken arm severed part of the nerve casing, scar tissue built up inside), but over a year and a half, I gained that back. It's not permanent, if you work at it. I had to get a second then third surgery, in my case, but again, the nerve was basically cut into. I had to do some electrotherapy (avoid it if you can) and had almost two years of physical therapy as the nerves began to regain function and feeling. Either way, that *fucking sucks.* I hope you can get it sorted out. Good luck, fam.
Go get that checked out by a doctor.
This sounds like nerve damage, we have a nerve and blood ways super highway down each side of our neck and under our clavicles. I’d bet he damaged one of your face nerves. Just a heads up this could take years to resolve depending on how much was damaged. It’s paramount to go to the doctors to get this checked.
Holy shit. I understand getting caught up in the heat of the moment but this is a really, really serious injury. I know you don't have insurance but you really need to be seen by a medical provider. Don't fuck around with nerves in your neck and face. I would, at the very least, not engage in rough play with this partner but I can't imagine coming back from a fuckup this huge.
I think more info is needed. Yes this is a fuckup that will not be easy to come back from, but I also don't understand. Was this something you had agreed to and it went wrong? Was this edge play gone wrong? Did you safeword? There's some risk in kink when you give your partner permission to "be rough with you". And I see people are saying he was reckless and "had to bite with extreme force" but to be frank if you've simply hit your shin before and lost feeling in your entire leg, it sounds like you may have an underlying medical issue. I'm assuming you didn't mean dropping an anvil on it. Are you by chance hyper mobile? A lot of connective tissue disorders can cause loose ligaments that make one prone to nerve damage. I know you don't have insurance, but I think you should at least read up on it. Something isn't adding up here.
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You ignored so many of the questions here. It was related because it involves nerve damage you've had, and it seems silly to describe it as "hitting your shin" when it was much more serious according to your reply; that's very different. This info is important because it differentiates between a partner that intended to cause you harm (or at least didn't care if they did) and a partner that misjudged his force and hurt you by mistake. I hope your face heals, you've been oddly defiant to people that you asked for advice and I am going to bow out. Best of luck.
Most people never experience nerve damage, the fact that you have is a potential sign of something medical. If you want to live your life with reversible nerve damage go ahead, but don't attack people for worrying about you.
If you’ve set these boundaries with him in the past and he did it a second time in a worse place, he’s probably not a safe person to stay with. Don’t stay with someone who is not only going to stomp on your boundaries but also hurt you. Nerve damage is no joke. He would have had to bite with extreme force. That’s not okay. If he ignored your boundaries even once, he’s probably going to do it again. Trust your instincts.
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You're lucky he didn't sever your carotid artery. You'd be dead. I don't let people bite or give hickies on my neck anymore for that reason. OP, I'm numb to varying degrees over about 40-50% of my body, as a paraplegic who cannot walk anymore. However, even with the varying numbness, I've made some progress, although it took months, sometimes. I've been told by my doctors that full healing could take up to 18 months for some of my nerves. It could depend on which of your nerves are damaged and the way they were damaged (severed vs stretched vs torn). But don't give up hope!!! See a doctor as soon as possible. Edit to add: I didn't have a carotid injury. I broke my back and had other injuries
Good on you. Don’t give second chances to him especially with something so dangerous. I wouldn’t even stay in this relationship.
You both need to be more specific with your boundaries. "More rough" doesn't say anything, get specifics of what that might entail so you know exactly what you are agreeing to. He should have to go to the doctor with you and learn why it happened. He needs to incest the time in learning how to be rough safely so he isn't a risk himself.
Relationship wise? No more biting. It hurt you, and it doesn't matter if it was an accident of passion, it's not okay. If he reacts well to a new boundary, keep him. Rebuild your trust, probably as slowly as your nerve will grow back, but it will If he argues or gets shitty, eject him straight into the sun and get a new relationship
Get it checked out by a doctor please. If you don't have insurance apply for their financial assistance/indigent care program.
Had a crazy girl bite my neck in hs. Still have nerve damage 20+ years later.
Relationship wise if this was a one time thing and he stopped when asked and feels bad about the situation you should try to forgive and trust him. It sounds like you might have an odd medical condition that makes you more prone to nerve damage since just banging you shin made you numb. The best tops of the world will have accidents occasionally and especially if someone’s body is not typical. I had been playing for 15 years and I got onto a st Andrews cross where the x was just in the right height for me to rest my head and the further into subspace I went the further I was blood choking myself by accident. This is not my fault or his it just happened but we ended the session got me back to baseline and he decided no more play for me that night. As far as. How do you go about trusting and forgiving? Idk that’s really up to you but it sounds like an an accident and I implore you to be extremely cautious and make know your nerves might do funky things if you ever decide to do rope. I also would not recommend rope suspension until you have seen a doctor and gotten the okay
Have you communicated this injury to him? Fuck ups happen, but the response and repair done after makes a huge difference. If he was horrified and apologized and changed his behavior, that's a great sign. If he shrugged it off and avoided taking responsibility, and continues to bite so hard in delicate areas, that's not great.
You don’t need advice on avoiding it in the future, so why ask in the first place as you know everything?
Sounds a lot like me friend that was diagnosed MS because for entirely different reasons parts of her body have been numb or on fire for months at a time.
I feel your pain. Was restrained tightly by a first time play partner. Tied hands behind my back. He wanted to whip me with long rubber dildo … all was cool. Except he hit my funny bone on my elbow. A nerve shock like you wouldn’t believe. We stopped due to my distress. I have had minor numbness down arm to pinky finger ever since. In my case, very slow healing if any. Been 4 years. Sorry for your issue. Hoping yours heals up.