Your parents don’t want to know, you don’t want your parents to know. And I wouldn’t give two hoots about what your friends think. It’s your life, not theirs .
Ninja edit.
> Thanks to that I am stuck in between telling my mum and dad or keeping quiet so I don't embarrass them
If you acknowledge this would embarass them, why would you even consider it?
Never bow to peer pressure. Ever! Tell this idiot friend to shut up, and fuck off.
The friend is being quite the dickhead.
I agree, if this would embarrass your parents or make them uncomfortable, don’t tell them.
For me, I told my mom I was going to munches and lightly explained what they are (really lightly, my family doesn’t even say the word sex) because she asked what we were doing every Tuesday night (she was watching my kids).
I’m the opposite. I’ve been a very open and relaxed book about sex with my kids. (Not going into massive details, if that makes sense). They are almost adults now, but I made efforts to keep communication open with them so they feel they have a safe space to go if they have questions or concerns or anything.
So for me, my kids could tell me and know it was safe to do so. OP, you don’t have to “have the balls” to tell them. It’s none of their business if you don’t want it to be.
There’s being open with your parents, and then there’s oversharing. We don’t know you or them well enough to give a super informed opinion. But I don’t talk about my sex life with my parents at all, and I’ve got no real desire to change that. I have a pretty good relationship with them, and I think I could handle the conversation if for some reason I *had* to. But there’s just no reason to bring those two things into collision.
Your friends are just ribbing you. Take the joke, but not the bait.
I assume your parents don't discuss their sex life or kinks with you. Why should you do so with them? If you're an adult and being healthy about your sexuality and kink then that is private. I don't think we need to hide we're sexual beings from parents or children but details are rarely necessary.
Ignore your friend.
(Edit for grammer)
Their sex life is none of your business, and yours is none of theirs. As long as they're not going to the same events as you, you don't need to tell them.
Unless they **need** to know, I wouldn’t tell them. It’s your private life, and they don’t need to know. I’m sure you wouldn’t want your parents to share details of their private/sexual lives randomly, so you shouldn’t do it to them unless there is something that you need to disclose.
Some people like to be open and she’s stuff like that with their parents but it’s a highly personal choice which you need to think carefully about!
I, a person well into my thirties, once asked my mom if she wanted to know when I started having sex. She said “no thank you”.
Op, your parents don’t need/want to know everything. Unless your safety is directly concerned, let them live in peace.
Why would your parents need to know this? Why would they *want* to know this? Is this something that you would be glad to know about them? You’re allowed to keep some things private, even from your parents.
Do you do everything your friends say to you?
whose welfare do you really care about, being cool with your friend who seems to want to peer pressure you, or respecting the privacy and boundaries of your own family?
There is no "stuck" here. You determine what's appropriate.
Your intimate life is none of your parents' business. No, really. I recommend ignoring the friend and trusting your gut. There's such a thing as over-sharing and ask yourself: Did they tell you about their intimate and sexual life?
I think it really comes down to your comfort level and what your relationship is like with your parents.
When I started my teen years, my mom had "the talk" with me, and not the one you'd think. (I was pretty well educated in what sex was and what my body parts did from a young age) My mom sat me down and talked about kink. What it was and how it kind of works. She explained that whatever kink I have, as long as it's safe, sane, and consensual, that it was okay to be into whatever I was into. She obvi also told me that I couldn't technically consent to kink until I was 18, and how to make sure I keep myself safe in the kink community. We now have open discussions about kink occasionally. We don't share our personal experiences, but just about kink topics overall.
So I honestly think it's up to you, and how you think your parents might respond, because ultimately you know them and we don't.
I don't see what would be the benefit of telling them. Ordinarily, most people don't divulge details about their sex lives to their parents any more than parents divulge details of their sex lives to their children. It's usually seen as uncomfortable for all parties involved because most parents don't want to think a lot about that.
Some families are big on sex not being a taboo or embarrassing thing so they encourage a lot of open dialogue about sex. Those are uncommon but it happens. If that's your family dynamic, then I would understand why you may feel like you should open up to your parents about that. Otherwise there's no need.
I don't know you or your friend but I get the sense that your friend was likely just teasing you for fun. They're probably not expecting you to go tell your parents about your sex life. It's not the norm so it's not an expectation that any reasonable person would or could have. Not even vanilla folks do that and there is way less stigma and things to explain there.
This, of course, is me assuming that your friend is a decent person with harmless intentions who didn't mean any harm. There are certainly the sort of people who will say things like they did to try to goad others into doing things that they know will end poorly just to watch the drama or see a good thing go badly.
Absolutely not. No good can come of it. I operate on the need to know basis and my family absolutely does not need to know, nor do most of my doctors, remember it's illegal in most jurisdictions doesn't matter how consensual it is. I will never understand people wanting to tell their families, especially their parents. I mean, a sister or brother that you're close to, sure. I don't even tell those people. The only ones in my life who know are my husband and my friends. Unless you have some compelling reason to tell them, don't tell them! Certainly not because a friend is calling you chicken lol. Are you ready to open up Pandora's Box just because a friend is calling you chicken?
Of you don't talk to them normally about sex, or your relationships beyond what is 'normal' then that friend isn't much of a friend and is being a bully to get you to have an issue with your parents. If you do then he may not be far off in his comment but he's also not living your life and doesn't get to choose for you.
If you don't see a reason to talk to them about it then all they really need to know is what you've already told them.
Do they need to know the specifics? It’s your relationship with them, not your friends… so it’s what you feel they are comfortable hearing and what you’re comfortable sharing with your parents.
My kids are open with me. Sometimes they cross the line with their openness and it becomes awkward for all of us. The only people who need to know what your kinks are, are your partners.
You should be able to be open and honest with your parents about important life stuff (relationships, gender/sexual orientation, job, school, whatever).
There is zero reason you should share your kinks with your parents. I'm sure they don't even want to know. It would be uncomfortable for everyone involved, and, as a parent, I wouldn't want to know.
Unless you know for certain that they are also in the lifestyle, that answer is an absolute no. If they are, however, that changes things a bit. My Dom and I both have adult kids from different relationships that are also in the lifestyle. They feel completely comfortable coming to either one of us with questions and to talk about safety concerns. We did, however, make sure to block each other on Fet to avoid awkward moments like having a daughter's pink bits show up on our feed.
Do not tell them.
Master and I have 4 adult children between us.
We don’t want to know unless they needed advice/ were not safe etc.
We are always ok if they need to talk to us but we don’t want to know because they want to tell us for shits and giggles.
Just like they don’t want us to tell them.
Dont tell them. It dosent sound like you have that kind of free dialect with them.
I got lucky, my family always thought I was weird. So me showing up in a collar or wearing fishnets really didnt raise any eyebrows.
But me and my mom always joked about sex, and shes not blind. She figured out I'm into some..different stuff..but just rolls her eyes and says "your my weird child". I dont go into details beyond the occasionally "that's why I call him Daddy " jokes lol.
It's hilarious because my older brother refuses to even acknowledge ebb our mother isnt a virgins 😂. So sometimes I get her started around him just to see the look of horror on his face when his mom says "cock" or "anal".
On christmas one year I got her to say dildo infront of my Daddy. It was hilarious till we got in the car and he made it clear he would spank me at the table next time.
I think he was joking but still wont push it lol.
I don’t think it’s necessary to tell your parents unless that’s a desire of your heart to have them know. Whether you tell them or not has nothing to do with “bravery” either. This is a personal decision that is up to you and only you.
My mom died when I was 21, and I know for a fact she was into freaky shit. If my mom was alive, I’d probably tell her I am into that stuff. My dad, HELL NO. He found a paddle I accidentally left at home from when I moved out and he couldn’t look me in the eye. My step mom was just laughing (good-natured laughs). People are so so different. We cannot answer for you because we don’t know your relationship to them.
Family has the right not to know about your sex life. I’ve been in a BDSM relationship for sometime and my family doesn’t know. Family should know when a partner is important to you - not before. If you are going to a munch tell your friends, be safe. Don’t be alone with anyone until you get to know them. Munches are mostly safe. Good luck.
Most of my kinkster adult friends don't find the need to tell their parents their kink activities. You don't have to tell your parents everything. That's part of being an adult
Don’t involve non consenting people in your kink. “Told all your friends “?? Why? You need to think about your motives here.
We don’t tell outsiders about our kink, other than vaguely telling the next door neighbor to please not call the police if you hear screaming, it’s all in good fun.
Casually admitting to being kinky during a conversation where it is relevant (including answering "what are you up to this weekend?" with "oh, going to a munch") is not involving non-consenting people in your kink. If you're going out of your way to shoehorn in all the salacious details of your last scene or whatever, that's a different story.
I host parties where there might be some pretty chocolate stuff going on upstairs while the vanilla friends play jackbox or board games downstairs (and yes, they're aware ahead of time what might happen at my parties). They might not be interested in participating sexually, but they'll still come around for games and social times. Obviously not everyone is so open, but like. Just inviting a friend to come to rope group with me isn't automatically violating their consent.
That being said, I'd be hard pressed to think of a reason why kinky sex would be a relevant topic when talking to my parents, and the risk of getting kicked out of a living space is much higher than the benefit of...feeling good about yourself for being honest? So unless OP is ready and able to find their own place and live independently, the risks are too high.
You made this comment, with zero context, then fucked off. I've decided to issue you with a ban in response. As,, and when, or if you ever return you can argue the toss via Mod Mail.
Rule 6 applies.
Comment removed. Permaban issued.
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Your parents don’t want to know, you don’t want your parents to know. And I wouldn’t give two hoots about what your friends think. It’s your life, not theirs . Ninja edit.
> Thanks to that I am stuck in between telling my mum and dad or keeping quiet so I don't embarrass them If you acknowledge this would embarass them, why would you even consider it? Never bow to peer pressure. Ever! Tell this idiot friend to shut up, and fuck off.
The friend is being quite the dickhead. I agree, if this would embarrass your parents or make them uncomfortable, don’t tell them. For me, I told my mom I was going to munches and lightly explained what they are (really lightly, my family doesn’t even say the word sex) because she asked what we were doing every Tuesday night (she was watching my kids). I’m the opposite. I’ve been a very open and relaxed book about sex with my kids. (Not going into massive details, if that makes sense). They are almost adults now, but I made efforts to keep communication open with them so they feel they have a safe space to go if they have questions or concerns or anything. So for me, my kids could tell me and know it was safe to do so. OP, you don’t have to “have the balls” to tell them. It’s none of their business if you don’t want it to be.
There’s being open with your parents, and then there’s oversharing. We don’t know you or them well enough to give a super informed opinion. But I don’t talk about my sex life with my parents at all, and I’ve got no real desire to change that. I have a pretty good relationship with them, and I think I could handle the conversation if for some reason I *had* to. But there’s just no reason to bring those two things into collision. Your friends are just ribbing you. Take the joke, but not the bait.
I assume your parents don't discuss their sex life or kinks with you. Why should you do so with them? If you're an adult and being healthy about your sexuality and kink then that is private. I don't think we need to hide we're sexual beings from parents or children but details are rarely necessary. Ignore your friend. (Edit for grammer)
You're a grown up.
people are this close to their parents? I wouldn't want them knowing a single thing about my sex life.
As a parent of grown kids, they don’t want to know lol! No need to share things like that.
Why do you think you should tell them?
Dude wtf is this post lmao. Just don't tell them. You own your mouth and brain and can make independent decisions can't you?
Just no please
Their sex life is none of your business, and yours is none of theirs. As long as they're not going to the same events as you, you don't need to tell them.
Don’t let some idiot friend goad you into doing things. Not this. Not anything else in life.
Unless they **need** to know, I wouldn’t tell them. It’s your private life, and they don’t need to know. I’m sure you wouldn’t want your parents to share details of their private/sexual lives randomly, so you shouldn’t do it to them unless there is something that you need to disclose. Some people like to be open and she’s stuff like that with their parents but it’s a highly personal choice which you need to think carefully about!
Every adult has the right to choose what ever topics they want to remain private in their life. THE END. Don't feel guilty.
Don't tell your parents just because your friends dared you. Your friends can suck it.
I, a person well into my thirties, once asked my mom if she wanted to know when I started having sex. She said “no thank you”. Op, your parents don’t need/want to know everything. Unless your safety is directly concerned, let them live in peace.
Couse not. Keep for you.
No
Why would your parents need to know this? Why would they *want* to know this? Is this something that you would be glad to know about them? You’re allowed to keep some things private, even from your parents.
Do you do everything your friends say to you? whose welfare do you really care about, being cool with your friend who seems to want to peer pressure you, or respecting the privacy and boundaries of your own family? There is no "stuck" here. You determine what's appropriate.
Your intimate life is none of your parents' business. No, really. I recommend ignoring the friend and trusting your gut. There's such a thing as over-sharing and ask yourself: Did they tell you about their intimate and sexual life?
I think it really comes down to your comfort level and what your relationship is like with your parents. When I started my teen years, my mom had "the talk" with me, and not the one you'd think. (I was pretty well educated in what sex was and what my body parts did from a young age) My mom sat me down and talked about kink. What it was and how it kind of works. She explained that whatever kink I have, as long as it's safe, sane, and consensual, that it was okay to be into whatever I was into. She obvi also told me that I couldn't technically consent to kink until I was 18, and how to make sure I keep myself safe in the kink community. We now have open discussions about kink occasionally. We don't share our personal experiences, but just about kink topics overall. So I honestly think it's up to you, and how you think your parents might respond, because ultimately you know them and we don't.
I don't see what would be the benefit of telling them. Ordinarily, most people don't divulge details about their sex lives to their parents any more than parents divulge details of their sex lives to their children. It's usually seen as uncomfortable for all parties involved because most parents don't want to think a lot about that. Some families are big on sex not being a taboo or embarrassing thing so they encourage a lot of open dialogue about sex. Those are uncommon but it happens. If that's your family dynamic, then I would understand why you may feel like you should open up to your parents about that. Otherwise there's no need. I don't know you or your friend but I get the sense that your friend was likely just teasing you for fun. They're probably not expecting you to go tell your parents about your sex life. It's not the norm so it's not an expectation that any reasonable person would or could have. Not even vanilla folks do that and there is way less stigma and things to explain there. This, of course, is me assuming that your friend is a decent person with harmless intentions who didn't mean any harm. There are certainly the sort of people who will say things like they did to try to goad others into doing things that they know will end poorly just to watch the drama or see a good thing go badly.
Absolutely not. No good can come of it. I operate on the need to know basis and my family absolutely does not need to know, nor do most of my doctors, remember it's illegal in most jurisdictions doesn't matter how consensual it is. I will never understand people wanting to tell their families, especially their parents. I mean, a sister or brother that you're close to, sure. I don't even tell those people. The only ones in my life who know are my husband and my friends. Unless you have some compelling reason to tell them, don't tell them! Certainly not because a friend is calling you chicken lol. Are you ready to open up Pandora's Box just because a friend is calling you chicken?
Of you don't talk to them normally about sex, or your relationships beyond what is 'normal' then that friend isn't much of a friend and is being a bully to get you to have an issue with your parents. If you do then he may not be far off in his comment but he's also not living your life and doesn't get to choose for you. If you don't see a reason to talk to them about it then all they really need to know is what you've already told them.
Do they need to know the specifics? It’s your relationship with them, not your friends… so it’s what you feel they are comfortable hearing and what you’re comfortable sharing with your parents.
My kids are open with me. Sometimes they cross the line with their openness and it becomes awkward for all of us. The only people who need to know what your kinks are, are your partners.
You should be able to be open and honest with your parents about important life stuff (relationships, gender/sexual orientation, job, school, whatever). There is zero reason you should share your kinks with your parents. I'm sure they don't even want to know. It would be uncomfortable for everyone involved, and, as a parent, I wouldn't want to know.
If this is a real issue for you, then I don't think you're mature enough to play these games.
Unless you know for certain that they are also in the lifestyle, that answer is an absolute no. If they are, however, that changes things a bit. My Dom and I both have adult kids from different relationships that are also in the lifestyle. They feel completely comfortable coming to either one of us with questions and to talk about safety concerns. We did, however, make sure to block each other on Fet to avoid awkward moments like having a daughter's pink bits show up on our feed.
Do not tell them. Master and I have 4 adult children between us. We don’t want to know unless they needed advice/ were not safe etc. We are always ok if they need to talk to us but we don’t want to know because they want to tell us for shits and giggles. Just like they don’t want us to tell them.
Dont tell them. It dosent sound like you have that kind of free dialect with them. I got lucky, my family always thought I was weird. So me showing up in a collar or wearing fishnets really didnt raise any eyebrows. But me and my mom always joked about sex, and shes not blind. She figured out I'm into some..different stuff..but just rolls her eyes and says "your my weird child". I dont go into details beyond the occasionally "that's why I call him Daddy " jokes lol. It's hilarious because my older brother refuses to even acknowledge ebb our mother isnt a virgins 😂. So sometimes I get her started around him just to see the look of horror on his face when his mom says "cock" or "anal". On christmas one year I got her to say dildo infront of my Daddy. It was hilarious till we got in the car and he made it clear he would spank me at the table next time. I think he was joking but still wont push it lol.
Why would you tell your parents about your sexual life? There’s no need to tell them and no shame in not telling them.
I don’t think it’s necessary to tell your parents unless that’s a desire of your heart to have them know. Whether you tell them or not has nothing to do with “bravery” either. This is a personal decision that is up to you and only you.
As a parent I want my kids to have a fun healthy fulfilling sex life AND I don’t want the details. Why do they need to know?
My mom died when I was 21, and I know for a fact she was into freaky shit. If my mom was alive, I’d probably tell her I am into that stuff. My dad, HELL NO. He found a paddle I accidentally left at home from when I moved out and he couldn’t look me in the eye. My step mom was just laughing (good-natured laughs). People are so so different. We cannot answer for you because we don’t know your relationship to them.
Family has the right not to know about your sex life. I’ve been in a BDSM relationship for sometime and my family doesn’t know. Family should know when a partner is important to you - not before. If you are going to a munch tell your friends, be safe. Don’t be alone with anyone until you get to know them. Munches are mostly safe. Good luck.
They don't need to know and I'm sure they don't want to.
Most of my kinkster adult friends don't find the need to tell their parents their kink activities. You don't have to tell your parents everything. That's part of being an adult
Maybe this is satire
Don’t involve non consenting people in your kink. “Told all your friends “?? Why? You need to think about your motives here. We don’t tell outsiders about our kink, other than vaguely telling the next door neighbor to please not call the police if you hear screaming, it’s all in good fun.
Casually admitting to being kinky during a conversation where it is relevant (including answering "what are you up to this weekend?" with "oh, going to a munch") is not involving non-consenting people in your kink. If you're going out of your way to shoehorn in all the salacious details of your last scene or whatever, that's a different story. I host parties where there might be some pretty chocolate stuff going on upstairs while the vanilla friends play jackbox or board games downstairs (and yes, they're aware ahead of time what might happen at my parties). They might not be interested in participating sexually, but they'll still come around for games and social times. Obviously not everyone is so open, but like. Just inviting a friend to come to rope group with me isn't automatically violating their consent. That being said, I'd be hard pressed to think of a reason why kinky sex would be a relevant topic when talking to my parents, and the risk of getting kicked out of a living space is much higher than the benefit of...feeling good about yourself for being honest? So unless OP is ready and able to find their own place and live independently, the risks are too high.
[удалено]
You made this comment, with zero context, then fucked off. I've decided to issue you with a ban in response. As,, and when, or if you ever return you can argue the toss via Mod Mail. Rule 6 applies. Comment removed. Permaban issued.
On what grounds? u/Nighthowlers82