I use a slight variation of this because I found I needed a fourth.
Green - all good
Mercy - stay “in scene,” but back off what you’re doing
Yellow - pause scene, an adjustment needs made
Red - hard stop, scene is over.
So for example if he’s using a paddle on my ass and I’m approaching a pain limit, I’ll say something like “please have mercy Sir, I can’t take the paddle anymore” and he’ll back off or stop with it but keep going “in character.” Mercy is also the only one he can “tease” me for using while in the scene (as long as he also respects it). So in that instance he might respond with like “what, a whore can’t take a little pain?” but would still stop using it.
But if for example he has my wrists restrained and I notice the restraints are too tight, I’ll call yellow and ask him to loosen them before we go back to play. The scene would totally pause for a second so he can ask if the restraints are okay now, and then we can go back to whatever we were doing.
I’ve never had to use red with him, but I think the most likely possibility there would be if we went too far with choking and I noticed I was about to pass out. That would stop the scene entirely and we’d focus on making sure I’m okay and don’t need medical attention.
I went a little overly in depth with this, but I don’t see many people use mercy in the way that I do and I’ve found it really helpful! I’m someone who gets a little anxious using safe words because often I’m still having fun, there’s just something that’s not working. I don’t want to safe word out because it’ll pull us both out of the moment and we’re both enjoying it, so “mercy” is my way of saying “I don’t want to stop but this specific thing isn’t working.”
the mercy one is actually a good idea, we only use orange and red and always asking "you're okay?" because Im kinda unused to the giant pain tolerance, and asking pulls me out of the scene but having a middle word like mercy sounds like an awesome middleway! will definitely use it :)
We have green, yellow, red and black in case my trauma gets triggered and I'm on the verge of a flashback.
Traffic lights (with individual adjustments if needed) are the best option I know.
We've used a similar system. It can be nice to have a way of communicating you're near your limit without having to stop the scene momentum. When I'm topping it's great to get that hint that she's nearing a yellow so I can back off ahead of time.
We did this but use yellow for "have mercy", then red for "pause and let's change practice" and we're working on a full stop and immediate aftercare word. I suggested my in-law name in our first try, she later suggested we use purple but I'm still not sure about it.
But definitely this four step system is more complete than the traffic light standard colours.
I use a slight variation of this because I found I needed a fourth.
Green - all good
Mercy - stay “in scene,” but back off what you’re doing
Yellow - pause scene, an adjustment needs made
Red - hard stop, scene is over.
So for example if he’s using a paddle on my ass and I’m approaching a pain limit, I’ll say something like “please have mercy Sir, I can’t take the paddle anymore” and he’ll back off or stop with it but keep going “in character.” Mercy is also the only one he can “tease” me for using while in the scene (as long as he also respects it). So in that instance he might respond with like “what, a whore can’t take a little pain?” but would still stop using it.
But if for example he has my wrists restrained and I notice the restraints are too tight, I’ll call yellow and ask him to loosen them before we go back to play. The scene would totally pause for a second so he can ask if the restraints are okay now, and then we can go back to whatever we were doing.
I’ve never had to use red with him, but I think the most likely possibility there would be if we went too far with choking and I noticed I was about to pass out. That would stop the scene entirely and we’d focus on making sure I’m okay and don’t need medical attention.
I went a little overly in depth with this, but I don’t see many people use mercy in the way that I do and I’ve found it really helpful! I’m someone who gets a little anxious using safe words because often I’m still having fun, there’s just something that’s not working. I don’t want to safe word out because it’ll pull us both out of the moment and we’re both enjoying it, so “mercy” is my way of saying “I don’t want to stop but this specific thing isn’t working.”
I say the colour.
I also check in with my sub, and say "what colour?" Occasionally and especially if I feel they are a little off. Because I like to know it is green and good to go.
My Dom also checks in on the colour with me.
We use, Red or honestly just Safeword. It’s simple and to the point and you can’t mistake it when hearing it :) we also have two non verbal safe words which is a double click of tongue or a double tap on the other persons body
For non-verbal we use scuba-ish signals. Thumbs up is green, waving a flat hand side to side as like a so-so motion means yellow/slow/problem, a middle finger means red/full stop.
That seems very specifically speaking. I’m sure it would work for some, not for others, but of course it isn’t all encompassing. I don’t find that generalizations benefit most in this community.
"malum", I speak and think in two different languages and since "malum" is latin, a language no one speaks and isn't dependant on if I'm pronouncing it in English or in my native language because it's, well, latin.
It just basically means "stop, take your hands off me and wait for further instruction". So I don't have to think during the scene on "I wonder what I'm feeling at the moment to be specific, is it red or yellow bad feeling?"
🙋♀️I would recommend utilizing something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with playtime. Mine is so OFF, that if I ever felt the need to, he would be drawn out of his own headspace and question the word.
Example: If you’re in a classroom, and say pencil, notebook, whiteboard, etc. no biggie. However, if you were to say “salt”, it’s so far out of left field, that most everyone would question your reason for saying it. 😉
Be safe and we wish Ya’ll the very BEST⛓️
For me, the stoplight system doesn't stick with me when I space. It doesn't provide enough nuance.
We have played together long enough that we very rarely need to stop play. The only reason would be an emergency. And even then, an adjustment can lead to continuing play rather quickly.
We use a 1-5 scale to gauge my processing.
1 = wtf was that? Hit me!;
2 = noticed that. More, please;
3 = oooo that's the sweet spot;
4 = Ouch! Nearing a limit. Back off, please.
5 = OUCH! Please stop. I need a check-in.
5 can lead to safewording and stopping play. But this is rare.
Sometimes when thinking about words to use I forget “safeword” (ridiculous I know) and ask myself what the “password” should be, so I added that since it seems to pop in my head first.
The Dom's first name. Especially for CNC or Primal play, I sometimes get lost. My sub isn't normally allowed to use my name so when she does, it shocks me out of it. At a play party I use Red and Yellow because that's usually the party safeword but I don't play that hard in public.
A lot if people (including me) use the Traffic Light System
green - good to go, keep going
Yellow - getting intense, slow down, approaching RED
RED - full stop. All action stops, move to aftercare.
The safe word changes with each interaction I've been in but my personal rule of thumb is the "warning" and "stop" words should always be one syllable. For me I feel it's necessary to keep them that short so you don't have a situation where you're trying to form the word and it's muddled in with gasps of pain and or labored breathing. Everyone will be different and in the end it's about what you want to use and what you'll both remember.
Personally the ones I've used in the past are "Sun" (Warning) and "Moon" (Stop)
I like Meatloaf. It's unlikely to come up in normal conversation and it's easy to remember because it means "I will do anything for love, but I won't do that."
Safeword is nice as if you remember what a safeword is, you remember it. When you really need a safe word, you want something at the tip of your tongue, not something you have to struggle to remember.
Red is also simple and short.
Sometimes when thinking about words to use I forget “safeword” (ridiculous I know) and ask myself what the “password” should be, so I added that since it seems to pop in my head first.
For me I use the traffic light system but have discussed affing other colors as well because I also have been wanting to try CNC
Red is obviously full stop
Green is go
Yellow pause and check in
Have discussed adding blue for "alter". Meaning for example spank another part of my body or moving from one hole to another
And if I can't speak I have one of those dog training clickers(never knew how loud those were lol)
School bus.
It started as a joke because when the school bus arrived, it was time to hurriedly stop and get presentable..
Now it has just become a standard stop right now kinda word. 🤣
I often start the safeword conversation by instructing my subs to say; “supercalifragalisticmakesalidocious” yep, perfect choice for a safeword!. The look in their eyes!
On a serious note tho, I’ve used traffic light systems for the most part, it’s quick and easily heard even if my sub is lightly gagged. If fully muted we agree on hand signals.
I've used a few to get what feels natural, and transitioned over time with partners. The classic "Safeword" as your safeword and traffic lights are pretty universal and never fail.
Following examples here are for my leashed walks. "Uh-Oh" for spotting strangers (so we can unleash and act normal as hikers or bio dog walkers pass us by and don't subject nonconsenting others to kink), "I'm out" for stopping entirely. Then I remember for a while with my ex Dom I used to use "Cacti" because we had an inside joke (Actually pretty popular meme "Everything can be a dildo if you're brave enough" ring any bells?). It was just funny sounding and absurd, instantly cuts the mood, noticeable, entirely out of context word and sharp sounding when said right. I still kinda like that ngl
My Daddy and I use the traffic light system. There’s no questions on what it means, as it’s self explanatory. The only one we use aside from that is “ow”. That means I’m approaching a yellow and something needs to change - a restraint needs loosening, I need a change of implements etc. As I tend to go non-verbal after/during our scenes, we’ve included him handing me my phone on the Notes app so I can type out what I need. He reads my body language well and I typically don’t need to use it…but I will add that it’s taken us two years of constant check-ins during and after scenes to reach that point!
Traffic Light System is a general but you gotta confirm your meanings, some people have different meanings for theirs, mine is
Green- keep going/can go harder/happy for more
Amber/Orange- This level is enough don't go harder rn/need to slow down/need to change fun impliment of torture
Red- Stop and check in with me(I might want to just switch up and not stop)/ask if I'm stopping fully(i might be feeling nonverbal/guage how I am physically(with red you need to assess if you feel comfortable Consenting to carry on based off of how I seem to you)
My safeword if you know me well enough is the fruit I'm allergic to (noooo it's not pineapple XD )
I have three things, a word, a sentence and a gesture to use depending on the situation.
when my subject to speech, the word is "Nirvana", my sentence is "I want to go back to hell".
the word to stop my action, my sentence to stop the session.
The gesture for action but when she is tied up. (bondage, shibari, etc...) keep your fingers crossed.
Me and my boyfriend both struggle to use our words during intimacy due to how intense the pleasure is for us so we opt for double tapping any part of the other person's body, we call it tapping out. Another way is whoever is topping can ask if they are alright or tapping out and lastly my boyfriend typically says Ok!! If he's had enough.
I use red always have , easy and clear and its good for clubs because house safeword is always red. I can also "tap out" where I literally tap his leg if i think I might break something 🤣 and can't talk. This isn't red more of a stop for a sec and restart.
Traffic light system. I have a vanilla version with a friend which is "red light" so it can be more obvious while still being inconspicuous. For non-verbal, I enjoy snapping because I tend to stimulate by tapping things, especially if I'm getting a lot of emotions. And snapping isn't really something you're gonna do my accident.
Yellow - slow down
Red - stop
Red red red - stop (for higher intensity scenes/playing close to the limit), one red will just mean slow down
If unable to speak: one tap for slow down/give me a sec, three taps for stop
If unable to speak and tied up, usually I have something on my hand to drop if I need it to stop
Something that isn't ever going to come up during sexy time...
Some people just use red, yellow, green with red being stop, yellow being your only comfortable with something but not need to stop just change what is going on, and green being continue.
We use the word cucumber right now. Just because it's so out of place it instantly jars you out of whatever headspace you might be in
And if gagged, then we use an object, placed in hand. If that object gets dropped it's time out, gag comes off and use the color system or just plain talk it out.
"[Rural Juror](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8668AcOoEpY)"
It doesn't work that well, now that I think about it. Maybe we should change it to "Urban Fervor."
My last long term r/l sub we used Banana and Apple. For the same Traffic light system but using fruit so she had to think about it for a instant because her last owner was not good about safe words so she yelled them out even when she was not that close to actually wanting them because she was so nervous they would be ignored. It took a few months to get her to not call out red for no reason . As an example the 2nd month she still used red over 40 times out of habit still but only used Banana twice for an actual need.
I tried using my in-law name for full stop, but wife asked to change to standard green-yellow-red but we added an extra twist.
Green - excellent, keep going
Yellow - interesting but a bit lighter
Red - change what you're doing
Purple - full stop and take care of me
We realised that sometimes we want to stop what's going on but not stop it all, just sinalize that this specific practice is not working but want to do something else.
Mine were banana pudding and potato salad. If I said either one of those it would immediately end everything and we would be laughing our asses off for the silliness. And then we had a quick chat about what happened. If I was good to keep going after our chat we made adjustments and kept going. If not, we stopped and talked about it again later.
We use the traffic light system, and a full-stop safe word that's one of our cats names, because she has a tendency to bust into his room and eat random bullshit off his floor. Her name would immediately take us out of scene because if she had busted in, its almost an emergency because his room isn't cat safe and she will do anything in her power to kill herself. Plus he's had her for 21 years now, so even in deeply altered mental states he's going to remember it.
I use the traffic light system mostly. For scenes where I use gags I use words that are more discernible when said through a gag. Oatmeal is a good one. So is pineapple.
Youve got lots of good answers just consider a system for when you can't speak or have your mouth covered. Personally we use three taps\slaps\hits, either on the bed, or on her, which triggers an immediate stop and check in. Might just mean I need a little break for a sec to catch my breath but it really helps if you ever use a gag or do anything else that makes talking hard. If Mummy is worried she may not hear\feel three taps, like often if she has me standing or with my hands tied, she'll hand me some keys (handcuff keys are always nearby!) or a caribiner that'll make an obvious sound of I drop it. That one's nice because if you ever start to pass out before you can call a color you'll drop it anyway, stopping the scene. Your top is likely to notice someone passing out but it can give them a few vital seconds of warning.
I use a safe “phrase” for the sake of making sure that a safe word isn’t just blurred out. It takes a little bit more cognitive awareness. This way if they do say the magic words, I know it’s officially a hard stop. Mine is “marry me”
We use saying the word Stop three times. We decided on this because we learned she likes to say stop but not mean it. Three times in a row and I stop. This is mutual understanding and actually increases the scene excitement when saying stop but only once or twice.
It's high time there has to be some standard safe words as a part of kink guidelines...or are they already there and I am unaware ...similar to gesture communication
We just use plain language. Stop means stop. No means no. Hang on means hang on. There's no misunderstanding here.
The only time plain language doesn't apply is CNC. Mercy is a safeword to be ignored. But it means I'm nearing a limit, and I need whatever it is to wrap up soon. At this point, if we're not done, we'll shift out of CNC into standard play. And he'll make the verbal confirmation before continuing.
You're sweet. 😊
My classes are all in person. I have toyed with the idea of doing a podcast or videos. But I don't have the wherewithal to do it on any kind of professional level.
Traffic light system. Red- full stop. Orange- slow down/pull back. Green- great!!
I use a slight variation of this because I found I needed a fourth. Green - all good Mercy - stay “in scene,” but back off what you’re doing Yellow - pause scene, an adjustment needs made Red - hard stop, scene is over. So for example if he’s using a paddle on my ass and I’m approaching a pain limit, I’ll say something like “please have mercy Sir, I can’t take the paddle anymore” and he’ll back off or stop with it but keep going “in character.” Mercy is also the only one he can “tease” me for using while in the scene (as long as he also respects it). So in that instance he might respond with like “what, a whore can’t take a little pain?” but would still stop using it. But if for example he has my wrists restrained and I notice the restraints are too tight, I’ll call yellow and ask him to loosen them before we go back to play. The scene would totally pause for a second so he can ask if the restraints are okay now, and then we can go back to whatever we were doing. I’ve never had to use red with him, but I think the most likely possibility there would be if we went too far with choking and I noticed I was about to pass out. That would stop the scene entirely and we’d focus on making sure I’m okay and don’t need medical attention. I went a little overly in depth with this, but I don’t see many people use mercy in the way that I do and I’ve found it really helpful! I’m someone who gets a little anxious using safe words because often I’m still having fun, there’s just something that’s not working. I don’t want to safe word out because it’ll pull us both out of the moment and we’re both enjoying it, so “mercy” is my way of saying “I don’t want to stop but this specific thing isn’t working.”
We use red, yellow, and green as well. I love this fourth one you added, though. It's perfect between green and yellow
the mercy one is actually a good idea, we only use orange and red and always asking "you're okay?" because Im kinda unused to the giant pain tolerance, and asking pulls me out of the scene but having a middle word like mercy sounds like an awesome middleway! will definitely use it :)
We have green, yellow, red and black in case my trauma gets triggered and I'm on the verge of a flashback. Traffic lights (with individual adjustments if needed) are the best option I know.
We've used a similar system. It can be nice to have a way of communicating you're near your limit without having to stop the scene momentum. When I'm topping it's great to get that hint that she's nearing a yellow so I can back off ahead of time.
We did this but use yellow for "have mercy", then red for "pause and let's change practice" and we're working on a full stop and immediate aftercare word. I suggested my in-law name in our first try, she later suggested we use purple but I'm still not sure about it. But definitely this four step system is more complete than the traffic light standard colours.
I use a slight variation of this because I found I needed a fourth. Green - all good Mercy - stay “in scene,” but back off what you’re doing Yellow - pause scene, an adjustment needs made Red - hard stop, scene is over. So for example if he’s using a paddle on my ass and I’m approaching a pain limit, I’ll say something like “please have mercy Sir, I can’t take the paddle anymore” and he’ll back off or stop with it but keep going “in character.” Mercy is also the only one he can “tease” me for using while in the scene (as long as he also respects it). So in that instance he might respond with like “what, a whore can’t take a little pain?” but would still stop using it. But if for example he has my wrists restrained and I notice the restraints are too tight, I’ll call yellow and ask him to loosen them before we go back to play. The scene would totally pause for a second so he can ask if the restraints are okay now, and then we can go back to whatever we were doing. I’ve never had to use red with him, but I think the most likely possibility there would be if we went too far with choking and I noticed I was about to pass out. That would stop the scene entirely and we’d focus on making sure I’m okay and don’t need medical attention. I went a little overly in depth with this, but I don’t see many people use mercy in the way that I do and I’ve found it really helpful! I’m someone who gets a little anxious using safe words because often I’m still having fun, there’s just something that’s not working. I don’t want to safe word out because it’ll pull us both out of the moment and we’re both enjoying it, so “mercy” is my way of saying “I don’t want to stop but this specific thing isn’t working.”
This is standard and I always use banana
Ours was pineapple and a lower level peaches. Jokingly great was raspberries because I love them and he grows them for a living.
Banana?
There's always money in the banana stand
Man that was a great show. The OG seasons anyway
Banana can be heard and repeated while gagged.
This is the way.
Same.. we use this too☺️ easy to remember and very effective
Me and my partner use this plus purple for discomfort
Same but yellow instead of orange
Yes I've read about that, but still doesn't fully understand how to actually use it. Do you just say the color? Or do you put it in a sentence?
I say the colour. I also check in with my sub, and say "what colour?" Occasionally and especially if I feel they are a little off. Because I like to know it is green and good to go. My Dom also checks in on the colour with me.
That's so smart! Thank you!!!
No problem, I really enjoy CNC from the sub-side and I know how important those safewords are. I hope you have a lot of fun and good times!
This, alternatively pineapple can be used in place of a red.
This works for me, or would work if I had a plamate...
The words or did you steal a traffic light and mount it in the kitchen or wherever 🤔?
The words haha, although maybe I do need a actual light system with a switch I can hold for non verbal signals!
Fake safeword (CNC "ignored safeword" purposes): Mercy Real safeword for full stop: red Slow down/it's starting to hurt: yellow
I have never thought about using a fake safe word for cnc play that is a great idea thanks
Enjoy!
This has so much potential! You could ignore it, or obey it sometimes, or pretend to obey and then have your way regardless! Wow!!!
You're an animal 😉
🤭
Same… I like this idea
this is us! except “red” is the fake safeword and our real safeword is pineapple upside down cake . LMAOOOOOOOO
We use, Red or honestly just Safeword. It’s simple and to the point and you can’t mistake it when hearing it :) we also have two non verbal safe words which is a double click of tongue or a double tap on the other persons body
True, I should've thought about non-verbal safewords too. Thank you!
For non-verbal we use scuba-ish signals. Thumbs up is green, waving a flat hand side to side as like a so-so motion means yellow/slow/problem, a middle finger means red/full stop.
I absolutely LOVE middle finger as full stop - great idea but it also really cracks me up. 🤣
This is not safe for use with brats
That seems very specifically speaking. I’m sure it would work for some, not for others, but of course it isn’t all encompassing. I don’t find that generalizations benefit most in this community.
Another one would be having something like a bell or a cat toy in your hand and dropping it or ringing it if you need to safeword out
We use three snaps or three quick flat-palm slaps.
"malum", I speak and think in two different languages and since "malum" is latin, a language no one speaks and isn't dependant on if I'm pronouncing it in English or in my native language because it's, well, latin. It just basically means "stop, take your hands off me and wait for further instruction". So I don't have to think during the scene on "I wonder what I'm feeling at the moment to be specific, is it red or yellow bad feeling?"
Being kind of a pleasure dom type.... I like "happy birthday". It's light hearted, and you can hum it with a gag in your mouth.
🙋♀️I would recommend utilizing something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with playtime. Mine is so OFF, that if I ever felt the need to, he would be drawn out of his own headspace and question the word. Example: If you’re in a classroom, and say pencil, notebook, whiteboard, etc. no biggie. However, if you were to say “salt”, it’s so far out of left field, that most everyone would question your reason for saying it. 😉 Be safe and we wish Ya’ll the very BEST⛓️
Meatloaf. I will do anything for love, but I won't do that.
Switzerland. Because it's neutral. 🤗
I never thought of the motherland in this context
😄
For me, the stoplight system doesn't stick with me when I space. It doesn't provide enough nuance. We have played together long enough that we very rarely need to stop play. The only reason would be an emergency. And even then, an adjustment can lead to continuing play rather quickly. We use a 1-5 scale to gauge my processing. 1 = wtf was that? Hit me!; 2 = noticed that. More, please; 3 = oooo that's the sweet spot; 4 = Ouch! Nearing a limit. Back off, please. 5 = OUCH! Please stop. I need a check-in. 5 can lead to safewording and stopping play. But this is rare.
If asking for full stop safe word, it is “safeword”. Real easy to remember
Sometimes when thinking about words to use I forget “safeword” (ridiculous I know) and ask myself what the “password” should be, so I added that since it seems to pop in my head first.
The Dom's first name. Especially for CNC or Primal play, I sometimes get lost. My sub isn't normally allowed to use my name so when she does, it shocks me out of it. At a play party I use Red and Yellow because that's usually the party safeword but I don't play that hard in public.
Traffic Light System: I sometimes play with new people, so it's good to have something easy everybody already knows.
Traffic system And the word lawsuit... It absolutely stops ppl in their tracks
A lot if people (including me) use the Traffic Light System green - good to go, keep going Yellow - getting intense, slow down, approaching RED RED - full stop. All action stops, move to aftercare.
The safe word changes with each interaction I've been in but my personal rule of thumb is the "warning" and "stop" words should always be one syllable. For me I feel it's necessary to keep them that short so you don't have a situation where you're trying to form the word and it's muddled in with gasps of pain and or labored breathing. Everyone will be different and in the end it's about what you want to use and what you'll both remember. Personally the ones I've used in the past are "Sun" (Warning) and "Moon" (Stop)
I like Meatloaf. It's unlikely to come up in normal conversation and it's easy to remember because it means "I will do anything for love, but I won't do that."
I would go with Pineapple but honestly when I've needed to safeword it's too long so just go with red or more likely tapping out
Safeword is nice as if you remember what a safeword is, you remember it. When you really need a safe word, you want something at the tip of your tongue, not something you have to struggle to remember. Red is also simple and short.
Sometimes when thinking about words to use I forget “safeword” (ridiculous I know) and ask myself what the “password” should be, so I added that since it seems to pop in my head first.
[https://ifunny.co/picture/the-safe-word-is-worcestershire-can-t-pronounce-that-exactly-PugSnrfEA](https://ifunny.co/picture/the-safe-word-is-worcestershire-can-t-pronounce-that-exactly-PugSnrfEA)
As others have said, the traffic light system. It’s very effective.
I like the term “mercy” for asking to let up a bit & I think either safeword or red will probably be used by us when we get to that stage.
For me I use the traffic light system but have discussed affing other colors as well because I also have been wanting to try CNC Red is obviously full stop Green is go Yellow pause and check in Have discussed adding blue for "alter". Meaning for example spank another part of my body or moving from one hole to another And if I can't speak I have one of those dog training clickers(never knew how loud those were lol)
Pineapple is the one my wife picked lol
School bus. It started as a joke because when the school bus arrived, it was time to hurriedly stop and get presentable.. Now it has just become a standard stop right now kinda word. 🤣
I often start the safeword conversation by instructing my subs to say; “supercalifragalisticmakesalidocious” yep, perfect choice for a safeword!. The look in their eyes! On a serious note tho, I’ve used traffic light systems for the most part, it’s quick and easily heard even if my sub is lightly gagged. If fully muted we agree on hand signals.
I tab or say 'maita'
I tab three times or say red
When it’s getting to rough do you tan a lot
traffic light system
Zucchini. Neither of us like zucchini
Orange, but the fruit not the color.
Mine is Meatloaf. I'll do a lot for love, but I won't do that
Dragonfly, for when I don't want anything sexual Juniper, for my yellow word Pineapple, for stop
I've used a few to get what feels natural, and transitioned over time with partners. The classic "Safeword" as your safeword and traffic lights are pretty universal and never fail. Following examples here are for my leashed walks. "Uh-Oh" for spotting strangers (so we can unleash and act normal as hikers or bio dog walkers pass us by and don't subject nonconsenting others to kink), "I'm out" for stopping entirely. Then I remember for a while with my ex Dom I used to use "Cacti" because we had an inside joke (Actually pretty popular meme "Everything can be a dildo if you're brave enough" ring any bells?). It was just funny sounding and absurd, instantly cuts the mood, noticeable, entirely out of context word and sharp sounding when said right. I still kinda like that ngl
I use his first name when I need to stop. Otherwise I call him Master.
No or stop. We don't allow either to be used in any alternate meaning way. They retain their intentional meanings.
Red yellow green is a great universally understood safeword system. It's what we use.
My Daddy and I use the traffic light system. There’s no questions on what it means, as it’s self explanatory. The only one we use aside from that is “ow”. That means I’m approaching a yellow and something needs to change - a restraint needs loosening, I need a change of implements etc. As I tend to go non-verbal after/during our scenes, we’ve included him handing me my phone on the Notes app so I can type out what I need. He reads my body language well and I typically don’t need to use it…but I will add that it’s taken us two years of constant check-ins during and after scenes to reach that point!
Hi, my name is "." Usually ends everything
Traffic Light System is a general but you gotta confirm your meanings, some people have different meanings for theirs, mine is Green- keep going/can go harder/happy for more Amber/Orange- This level is enough don't go harder rn/need to slow down/need to change fun impliment of torture Red- Stop and check in with me(I might want to just switch up and not stop)/ask if I'm stopping fully(i might be feeling nonverbal/guage how I am physically(with red you need to assess if you feel comfortable Consenting to carry on based off of how I seem to you) My safeword if you know me well enough is the fruit I'm allergic to (noooo it's not pineapple XD )
I have three things, a word, a sentence and a gesture to use depending on the situation. when my subject to speech, the word is "Nirvana", my sentence is "I want to go back to hell". the word to stop my action, my sentence to stop the session. The gesture for action but when she is tied up. (bondage, shibari, etc...) keep your fingers crossed.
Me and my boyfriend both struggle to use our words during intimacy due to how intense the pleasure is for us so we opt for double tapping any part of the other person's body, we call it tapping out. Another way is whoever is topping can ask if they are alright or tapping out and lastly my boyfriend typically says Ok!! If he's had enough.
traffic light system!! or three strong leg taps or kicks, something like that if i can’t speak or am gagged
I use red always have , easy and clear and its good for clubs because house safeword is always red. I can also "tap out" where I literally tap his leg if i think I might break something 🤣 and can't talk. This isn't red more of a stop for a sec and restart.
Red/yellow. If I’m gagged I hold something in my hand that I can drop if necessary.
Yellow for slow down Blue is my safe word
Mercy is my safeword.
Same
Giraffe and the light systems
Bismarck. And in the event that they can't speak? a WWE Tapout system.
Traffic light system. I have a vanilla version with a friend which is "red light" so it can be more obvious while still being inconspicuous. For non-verbal, I enjoy snapping because I tend to stimulate by tapping things, especially if I'm getting a lot of emotions. And snapping isn't really something you're gonna do my accident.
[Zoidberg](http://www.quickmeme.com/img/69/692e82d0819d0196fd00e7b89612c66689b9162264319fd444b743d68a549d46.jpg)
Dinosaur is my safe word. And I have it tattooed on me as well.
Spider!!! I very much dislike em...
Yellow - slow down Red - stop Red red red - stop (for higher intensity scenes/playing close to the limit), one red will just mean slow down If unable to speak: one tap for slow down/give me a sec, three taps for stop If unable to speak and tied up, usually I have something on my hand to drop if I need it to stop
As a Top, I haven't used one in a while. I honestly forgot I ne3ded one. I will have to think about this. Thank you for the reminder.
Red - slow down Yellow- full strokes Green- get a longer wider toy Purple- squeeze my balls
None, if I die, I die. All jokes aside ours is snuffalupagus.
Something that isn't ever going to come up during sexy time... Some people just use red, yellow, green with red being stop, yellow being your only comfortable with something but not need to stop just change what is going on, and green being continue. We use the word cucumber right now. Just because it's so out of place it instantly jars you out of whatever headspace you might be in And if gagged, then we use an object, placed in hand. If that object gets dropped it's time out, gag comes off and use the color system or just plain talk it out.
"[Rural Juror](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8668AcOoEpY)" It doesn't work that well, now that I think about it. Maybe we should change it to "Urban Fervor."
My last long term r/l sub we used Banana and Apple. For the same Traffic light system but using fruit so she had to think about it for a instant because her last owner was not good about safe words so she yelled them out even when she was not that close to actually wanting them because she was so nervous they would be ignored. It took a few months to get her to not call out red for no reason . As an example the 2nd month she still used red over 40 times out of habit still but only used Banana twice for an actual need.
Typically just Yellow: slow down Red: immediate stop.
I tried using my in-law name for full stop, but wife asked to change to standard green-yellow-red but we added an extra twist. Green - excellent, keep going Yellow - interesting but a bit lighter Red - change what you're doing Purple - full stop and take care of me We realised that sometimes we want to stop what's going on but not stop it all, just sinalize that this specific practice is not working but want to do something else.
I use stoplights but added beige for bored af
Mine were banana pudding and potato salad. If I said either one of those it would immediately end everything and we would be laughing our asses off for the silliness. And then we had a quick chat about what happened. If I was good to keep going after our chat we made adjustments and kept going. If not, we stopped and talked about it again later.
Traffic lights. Where red is well... you know the rest
We use the traffic light system, and a full-stop safe word that's one of our cats names, because she has a tendency to bust into his room and eat random bullshit off his floor. Her name would immediately take us out of scene because if she had busted in, its almost an emergency because his room isn't cat safe and she will do anything in her power to kill herself. Plus he's had her for 21 years now, so even in deeply altered mental states he's going to remember it.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious With the right spelling! Or red… but less fun
Me and my ex used red for too much and stop and yellow for don't stop but it hurts so calm down a lil
Ours is literally “safeword” 😆
I use the traffic light system mostly. For scenes where I use gags I use words that are more discernible when said through a gag. Oatmeal is a good one. So is pineapple.
We use "red/yellow/green. Simple to remember and unambiguous.
Youve got lots of good answers just consider a system for when you can't speak or have your mouth covered. Personally we use three taps\slaps\hits, either on the bed, or on her, which triggers an immediate stop and check in. Might just mean I need a little break for a sec to catch my breath but it really helps if you ever use a gag or do anything else that makes talking hard. If Mummy is worried she may not hear\feel three taps, like often if she has me standing or with my hands tied, she'll hand me some keys (handcuff keys are always nearby!) or a caribiner that'll make an obvious sound of I drop it. That one's nice because if you ever start to pass out before you can call a color you'll drop it anyway, stopping the scene. Your top is likely to notice someone passing out but it can give them a few vital seconds of warning.
I use a safe “phrase” for the sake of making sure that a safe word isn’t just blurred out. It takes a little bit more cognitive awareness. This way if they do say the magic words, I know it’s officially a hard stop. Mine is “marry me”
Traffic light system for check in’s, or if I need the scene to stop immediately- stranger danger
We use saying the word Stop three times. We decided on this because we learned she likes to say stop but not mean it. Three times in a row and I stop. This is mutual understanding and actually increases the scene excitement when saying stop but only once or twice.
Ours was Frankenstein - now it’s October
It's high time there has to be some standard safe words as a part of kink guidelines...or are they already there and I am unaware ...similar to gesture communication
Many clubs and venues use Safeword as a house safeword. Say it during a scene loudly and Dungeon Monitors come running over.
We just use plain language. Stop means stop. No means no. Hang on means hang on. There's no misunderstanding here. The only time plain language doesn't apply is CNC. Mercy is a safeword to be ignored. But it means I'm nearing a limit, and I need whatever it is to wrap up soon. At this point, if we're not done, we'll shift out of CNC into standard play. And he'll make the verbal confirmation before continuing.
That makes sense..
You're good. You should teach classes.
Thank you. 😊 I do teach classes in my local community. I've been doing it for a decade now. My specialties are power exchange, impact play, and rope.
Which community is this? Where do I sign up?
You're sweet. 😊 My classes are all in person. I have toyed with the idea of doing a podcast or videos. But I don't have the wherewithal to do it on any kind of professional level.
What a shame. You're the mentor that got away. Let me know if you start up again