lol I agreed to let my ex meet and have sex with a high school boyfriend 20 years since they had seen each other as she had become obsessed with him after a reunion. She then went full bunny boiler on him and told me their souls were somehow linked. They hate each other now and we are separated. Every day in this sub it is just like reading my own experiences lol.
My wife. Last roll of the dice, it was open marriage or divorce ultimatum, it got me by surprise and I've got kids, so it was worth a shot, but was never going to work. Was a shit six months mentally, but great sexually, and bought me time to process my impending role as full time single father of 3 kids.
I wouldn’t be able to say okay if mine asked me to do that, but I understand how they could lead you down the path of being okay with their promiscuity. I’m not okay with any form of cheating and she knew it.
Mine never asked to have sex with someone else. She just did it behind my back and lied and gaslit me about it. Then turned around and tried to pimp me out to another woman to fulfill my need and want for intimacy. She said it with a straight face too, probably to try to make me okay with her fucking someone else behind my back.
It amazes me the depths they will go in order to fulfill their selfish desires.
An open marriage with 100% honesty would work for me, but this is a separate issue to BPD, and is personal preference. She only suggested it to serve her own purposes and had no intention of building trust. But, I don't understand why society has on the whole rejected Catholic guilt when it comes to abortion, contraception, sex before marriage etc. but we are all still beholden to monogamy? For the record I have no intention of having another open relationship, mainly due to the time, effort and costs involved in keeping it separate from children. Also the fact that when I am in love, the other person is enough for me.
I think people with BPD cheat or need multiple sexual partners because they convince themselves there is something missing from their relationship, rather than the black hole that exists inside themselves.
100% spot on with my personal conclusions I’ve drawn in order to make sense of my mothers actions. It’s truly insane. She does things, anything at all to create an external chaos, that way she can point to it and blame that for her behavior…
Eerie I have very similar thoughts and going thru a divorce now in which I tried that experience almost last ditch effort and being adults about being together from young age etc….immediately crossed boundaries we discussed together and agreed upon and then lied and gaslight like no other. I probably only know 10% of what she actually did despite the “open communication” we were supposed to be bettering and building…your comment lets me know I’m not completely out of my mind
I also think that seeking intimate connection outside of the relationship helps to manage the feelings of engulfment that come with BPD. It provides a distraction to the overwhelm that comes from feeling like you are the centre of someone else’s world… and feeling like you are responsible for their needs. It keeps a selfish focus for the person with BPD, and allows them to keep one foot always out. Having both feet firmly in stimulates a lot of fear and anxiety so in a way, having other partners can be a way to stay connected in the only way they know how.
Obvs the healthy way would be to address attachment issues in therapy and increase tolerance of that distress that comes from being in an intimate relationship… but that is the hard road.
It would definitely not work for me (my other serious ex wanted that) but I know plenty of people for whom it does. My exwBPD actually seemed shocked I wasn’t weirded out by the idea. She was incredibly possessive, even when we weren’t doing ok.
ETA: physical cheating also wasn’t an issue in our relationship. I gather that’s common among quiet type.
I used to think we had some sort of unusual connection. It’s like I felt something that was supernatural or something and we were just made for each other.
I’ve learned to recognize that this was just the disease and relationships don’t go that fast.
A month, two months, two +++ years.
One of his “explanations” after I finally dragged it out of him that we were breaking up was “I loved you for the first year or two”. What?! We were together 6.5 (torturous) years!!!!!! I told him to stop talking after that. He had been with his “soulmate” for 2+ months at that time (of course lying telling me he “just needed to be single”). Cheating with multiple women for years. Abusive for years. She was BPD, he NPD/BPD among other disorders. Wow the way that one came crashing down two months later was one for the BOOKS! Wish you could have seen! She made it highly public but he had kept her hidden enough that not many people knew of his new “soulmate” so they didn’t see what she was screaming from the rooftops. Too bad. She’s BPD too but girl ain’t wrong! Let’s go sis 🍿
He leaves a trail of broken women (and men?) in his wake, playing the victim, blaming them, while running his game on the next, ever in search of his “soulmate” (I was his soulmate too in the beginning).
Soulmate = 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
"When they breakup, they barely remember your name"
Worst part of all of this. She's even surprised people I haven't seen for a while ask her about me.
She said it to me on our very first date, I can remember thinking the next day that was so strange and for the first time in my life, I discovered the term love bombing and I thought no really this can’t be it. I remember telling myself to be careful, but I just got swept up in it.
Did you reciprocate this? Cause I did.. I idealized this girl for 2 years like I really liked her she was beautiful smart cool liked all the things I liked and for 2 years I fantasized about what it would be like to be with her. When we finally went on a date we clicked immediately. 2 weeks in she's already telling me how I was exactly what she needed made me feel like the best thing that happened to her. Were saying I love you. I reciprocated this love bombing out of genuine feelings like she really made me feel like we were in love. 2 weeks later, ashes. Told me she didn't know if she wanted to be with me. I had to go no contact cause the push and pull was fucking with me mentally. I still hope she reaches out although I know it's for the best that she doesn't. But am I at fault for reciprocating this? Am I the only one that reciprocated?
I reciprocated, yes. I honestly felt like I was in love and I had met the woman of my dreams. She is/was so incredibly attractive, alluring. She was a combination of vulnerable yet confident beautiful in a very unique way. She is the weirdest, most fascinating person I’ve ever met in my entire life .She gave me a feeling that I’ve never ever ever had before. I still get it a little bit. I’m actually getting a bit whilst I’m writing this, I’ve done a bit of research and it is to heroin addiction if not more addictive. To be honest at this point, maybe I’ll just start shooting up heroin….. only joking.. anyway yes I reciprocated it was two years of push pull her discarding me me, begging for her to take me back me doing things and acting in ways that I have never done so before thinking that it was because I was inlove with her, but I now know I was addicted to chemicals that she released in my body. I am still addicted to those chemicals. That’s what I’m fighting now. Just put it all out that we went through an abortion together, which was an insanely difficult thing for both of us, especially her. We met online on a less than reputable site, we ended up creating an only fans account together, which is still active and I find it incredibly difficult not to, look at it now. It’s like oh here you are here is what you used to have and look other guys are getting it now. To me it was love and sex but obviously to her it was just sex, but she told me that it was love, but I know it wasn’t. She was using me, I kind of knew it at the time but I still was brainwashed, blinded to the reality. But I feel like I am on my own personal road to Damascus. I’m getting there. When I do, I know I’m gonna be stronger for it. I’m not gonna let her destroy me. I reciprocated 100% and it was the best and worst thing I’ve ever ever done in my life.
My brother, the silver lining here is she went through with the abortion. Otherwise, you would've gained a lifelong problem instead of a temporary one.
I think a lot reciprocate back. It’s not all on them. At all. It’s two sided. Difference is I’m an anxious attachment and she’s an avoidant. I run to while she runs away. I don’t do well with avoidants at all. Plus the withholding and mind games and lies and manipulation and financial abuse. Everyday it was something new. I can’t stand her now. I used to really love her. Now when I think of her I feel nauseous. And I’ve just pushed her far the fuck away. Let someone else deal with that bullshit. I definitely reciprocated and all while I was still giving everything to the relationship I could she was pushing and pulling non stop. So fucking weird and anxiety inducing. Was just waiting for the day the relationship ends. Cause I knew it would come. And sure enough it did. Didn’t take much in the end. Just me commenting on her criticism of me. That’s all. Then poof. She was gone just like that. After all the marriage talk and shit lol. Yeah she really put the effort in lol. Fuck her. She sucks lol.
Jokes on you, mine slept with me on day two, one year Later and I just filled a police report against her this week. How the time flies , seriously people STAY AWAY, you will not fix them it will not be different.
You never see them and that’s okay. I also had the misfortune of my pwbpd being my first time having sex, she was also 7 years older than me I was 22 so you can imagine how special I felt and she rolled with it.
>On the second week, you are already sleeping with each other.
Everything else was accurate except this. Literally blew me on the first date. I later joked with a friend that she sucked my soul out my pole and it took me two years and a lot of abuse to get it back.
Same with me, same day lol. I only say lol because of the soul through the pole comment. I needed a laugh. Mine sucked dick like a hoover with a 450 dropped in it. Thought my soul and possibly my face was going to get sucked through and out my dick. And she was doing it three to four times a weekend for several years, while telling me I was the most amazing, sexy, and kind lover, person, and man she had ever been with.
Of course, during that time, I saw suspicious activity that should have been a warning sign of cheating. Unfortunately, I did not want to believe it, so I denied that it was happening. Then I physically saw her sext two separate guys. Yep, that was a swift kick to my nuts. Then the excuses kept coming why she couldn’t be intimate with me or spend the time with me she used to spend.
It felt like I was living in an acid trip that looked like beautiful flowing fields of colorful flowers, to only find out it was a dark and loomy cave filled with bat shit.
Damn, dude. I had to go check my carbon monoxide detector (it's working fine) to make sure I didn't write this on an alt I don't remember making. Near word for word recounting of our relationship.
Crazy how similar all of our accounts are right? That’s how I know, unless something specific would be mentioned to indicate who we are, they would never know it was us based on the experiences we write about in here. It’s like there is a group of PD that is formed somewhere, where they all discuss and rehearse the same script over and over again.
I’m not saying every PD is the same, but there sure the hell are a lot of very very similar actions many PD seem to repeat. However, on that note, we actually could have seen the same woman, with the vastness of supply many of us have discussed them keeping in their stable. I wonder sometimes if we all mentioned one thing specific to them, if we didn’t care about remaining anonymous, would we find out that some of us did see the same woman lol.
Sorry you had to go through this shit too dude.
I wonder how many of them picked fights because of how similar all of our experiences are. Like, when a pwBPD finds this sub, do they just assume it's their significant other and go off on them for sharing their problems online?
ETA: Also, sorry you had to go through it too. Fortunately, I met my wife later the same year I finally ended this with my pwBPD. Unfortunately, the stepdaughter that I got when I married my wife was later diagnosed as BPD.
Ahhhh these two comments make me feel like crap. They’re the exact words I heard too. But thing is, I really believed it to be true! I’ve never had a partner whose body I connected with like that. What is that all about???
According to my exwbpd, everyone she's ever dated thought she was their soulmate. She completely didn't see the red flag - she thought it was an indication of how 'high value' she is. It was said with defiant pride.
"You're my missing puzzle piece."
We had sex on our second date, and it was absolutely incredible. We stayed in bed together that whole next day, 24 straight hours of having sex.
Shortly after that, she was holding my hand in public. At first I was a little bit surprised. But I loved it. It felt so tender, so real. I felt:
*No wonder I've never felt this before... Because I hadn't yet met her, the love of my life. This is what true love feels like. Everything has led me here.*
I remember one night I dropped her off and we were making out goodbye in my car. And she just "couldn't get out" of the car. She kept coming back to kiss me and make out with me. The way she looked me in the eyes... It was full adoring, caring, loving. Like she was falling in love. Like she felt the same way I did. So excited, like we had found our missing puzzle piece. I remember driving away that night singing at the top of my lungs.
Everything in the relationship was perfect. Perfect. No fights. No arguments. Fun three hour long conversations on the phone. Walking in the park holding hands. Doing fun little day trips. Random people would come up to us and say: "You two make the perfect couple.", "I wish I had a partner the way you two look at each other. You look like you are both absolutely in love.". Things like that.
Perfect. Six months.
Then one night on the phone at midnight after I had just finished working. I called her to say goodnight and to make plans for the next day which was the weekend. (We always counted down the days: "Only three more sleeps!"). And...
She split.
That's all I can describe it as. She turned into a completely different person. 180 degree turn. She was aggressive, accusatory, insulting, disrespectful, she interrupted me, she twisted everything I said to a negative (whereas before she twisted everything I said to a positive), she mocked me, she manipulated me into apologizing.
We saw each other twice after that. When we were together, we would spend the weekend and have incredible, unbelievable, long sessions of reconciliation sex. Looking each other in the eyes for long periods of time. Holding and cuddling each other. Loving each other.
And then she blocked me.
I waited patiently.
For a year.
She never unblocked me.
And that was that.
I don't think I will ever love like that again. The whirlwind was overwhelming. I've never felt that before. It was wonderful.
For the first six months I couldn't eat or sleep. I would wake up at 4am shaking, crying, then running to the bathroom for diarrhea. Couldn't get back to sleep. I lost 25 pounds. It was a disaster.
It's been a year and a half now. I saw her last month at an event. I tried to make peace with her, but instead she continued to insult me, interrupt me, disrespect me, and basically blame me for everything.
So no closure. No acceptance of the olive branch. Everything is completely my fault. For some reason.
How am I processing this? Barely. Therapy, exercise, Journaling, meditation, this sub, friends, new job, new apartment... I'm barely hanging on.
It has been the most difficult experience of my life.
At the very least seeing her a month ago showed me she truly is at least slightly delulu. The way she attacked me was way over the top.
Mine did that, but thanks to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, she wasn’t.
Eventually, I found out that even if she had been, there was a very good chance the kid would not be mine. I told her, she hated the fact I could even remotely think that.
How? Well, you fucked another dude 1 day after our first night together, my dear… that’s how. I forgive you this time because we are just starting, but that’s extremely fucked up.
Thought she had understood and genuinely felt bad about her behaviour, she really seemed genuine. Obviously, I was wrong… and even the rationalisation/excuse she had given for it turned out to be a lie in the end
Same but I was dumb enough to think she was a good idea for 2 months and her believing she couldn't get pregnant due to too many prior abortions was immaculate conception. I guess I should have seen the multiple prior abortions as a reason to wear a condom and not shoot loads inside her, but fuck she was convincing and if you think there was any consideration of me arguing against her keeping it, you'd be wrong! So this man child raised by a undiagnosed bpd woman has now got at least one bpd woman until the daughter he is barely allowed to see ( because he won't buckle to giving her the things she wants - sex, money, menial tasks completed - as a condition of having time with the now 18 month old ) is 18 years old. Thanks life!
I won’t lie. I did say these things because I genuinely thought that. The immediate love bombing had me on edge and a bit uncomfortable in my gut but I don’t date a lot and figured maybe this is actually what it’s supposed to feel like. The similarities were insane. Within weeks we’d had sex, I’d met her parents, and she told me she loved me, all her friends knew who I was… we hadn’t even ever had a formal conversation about what we were. We’d known each other for a couple weeks…
I ended up cutting things off after a couple weeks because I realized how insane some of the conversations we were having were when not with her and it made me uncomfortable. Marriage, living together, things like that. It was a bit odd to be planning those things within a month of knowing someone. I told her I couldn’t reciprocate that level of commitment right now, the relationship is going way too fast and I wanted to just be friends. Any longer and I’d be leading her on. Maybe that was the BPD, maybe she was just very clingy. Either way it was too much too fast for me.
The crazy thing is she told me she has BPD at the start but somehow I feel like I’m the crazy one coming out of this
They are the worst kind of human. Mine moved a guy in with her only to act like its no big deal. They truly dont care about anything or anybody. Monsters of the most human kind.
And here I was thinking I was a special friend /s.
Soulmate came shortly after we met (friends only).
Silent treatment shortly thereafter due to me trying to set a boundary.
I know a PWBPD she also has NPD and is bipolar, her daughter who I am friends with and I have heard her say that my friend's stepdad who is bipolar and beat her up was "The love of my life!" 🙄😳Her mom tries to and sometimes does seduce men and it doesn't matter if they are married or if my friend tells her "While you are visiting me do not bring men here and do not drink alcohol." her mom has given people herpes.
My mistake with her is I had actually already known her for years (albeit online) so the connection feeling so intense so quickly didn’t set off the alarm bells the way it normally would.
I don’t have regrets. No, what she did was not okay. But I got out of so many comfort zones, I tried living in a new city, I made some great connections, I hustled for myself in ways I never had to before. She didn’t mean to do this but the relationship I had with her taught me how to be adaptable to a lot of things. I am glad I took the chance on someone that, had I not taken that chance, I would have asked myself “what if?” about for the rest of my life. Now I know. I am just sorry (not so much for her herself but for the situation) that she was not, in fact, on the same wavelength. We could have had a wonderful life.
I hope she finds stability some day.
My ex has been with 4 different dudes since we broke up back in 2016. She has called every single one her soul l mate including me and the others before me. I have known this girl for over 18 years for some back story. She and her current BF are about to have one year together, which is usually around the time when things start to go sour. Her first signs is usually posting a lot about their relationship on social media, which she is doing a lot currently. One might think about how is that a bad thing. I honestly have no idea it is just her pattern. I guess it's some weird way to validate that things are good, almost like she trying to paint the relationship white while seeking validation from others.🤷♂️
I met my pwbpd at college she was 17 and I was 26 she didn’t know her diagnostic , we started as a friend because at the time she had a bf . Months went by and she barely was speaking to me, I started digging in to her memories, she had a messed childhood between her parents and the neighbor who abuse her. When she turn 18 she had an a suicidal attempt when she call me crying I show at her house she went to a hospital and right after I offered her to come live with me , months went by and I told her if she wanted me to be her partner, from that point forward all I did was help her understand what was going on, I even had a psychologist telling her I was a toxic and narcissistic person and she never mentioned me in any sessions, after that we move on to a different dr which at the end was the one giving the diagnosis. After two suicidal attempts in a 6 year stretch in the second attempt she did fall through but i arrive just in time.. she had never been abusive, or call me names .. in the other hand in 2 occasions I turn violent leading to her taking off because at the time we didn’t know what was going on , and when I get anxious i get violent also. But she stick with me a combat veteran who had seen his share of death and violence.. nowdays we move forward and everytime an episode is coming she let me know and I help her comeback to reality.. but nothing like the post I had read here…
It is constantly wild to me how much of a shared experience these things are.
He always went out of his way to tell me how different and special I was and how much he loved me. He told me he loved me on our second or third date. He was broke, so no gifts, but the love bombing. It all felt so good.
It’s hard to be in a “normal” relationship now. I feel like I don’t know what to expect or how to act. Now I’m being too much. Uhg
From what I've managed to talk with my partner w bpd, he never forgets, every time he breaks up with someone he gets depressed beyond the healthy standard, sometimes dragging his family to take him to the psychiatrist on force.
lol I agreed to let my ex meet and have sex with a high school boyfriend 20 years since they had seen each other as she had become obsessed with him after a reunion. She then went full bunny boiler on him and told me their souls were somehow linked. They hate each other now and we are separated. Every day in this sub it is just like reading my own experiences lol.
You agreed to let your gf at the time do that?
My wife. Last roll of the dice, it was open marriage or divorce ultimatum, it got me by surprise and I've got kids, so it was worth a shot, but was never going to work. Was a shit six months mentally, but great sexually, and bought me time to process my impending role as full time single father of 3 kids.
I wouldn’t be able to say okay if mine asked me to do that, but I understand how they could lead you down the path of being okay with their promiscuity. I’m not okay with any form of cheating and she knew it. Mine never asked to have sex with someone else. She just did it behind my back and lied and gaslit me about it. Then turned around and tried to pimp me out to another woman to fulfill my need and want for intimacy. She said it with a straight face too, probably to try to make me okay with her fucking someone else behind my back. It amazes me the depths they will go in order to fulfill their selfish desires.
An open marriage with 100% honesty would work for me, but this is a separate issue to BPD, and is personal preference. She only suggested it to serve her own purposes and had no intention of building trust. But, I don't understand why society has on the whole rejected Catholic guilt when it comes to abortion, contraception, sex before marriage etc. but we are all still beholden to monogamy? For the record I have no intention of having another open relationship, mainly due to the time, effort and costs involved in keeping it separate from children. Also the fact that when I am in love, the other person is enough for me. I think people with BPD cheat or need multiple sexual partners because they convince themselves there is something missing from their relationship, rather than the black hole that exists inside themselves.
100% spot on with my personal conclusions I’ve drawn in order to make sense of my mothers actions. It’s truly insane. She does things, anything at all to create an external chaos, that way she can point to it and blame that for her behavior…
Eerie I have very similar thoughts and going thru a divorce now in which I tried that experience almost last ditch effort and being adults about being together from young age etc….immediately crossed boundaries we discussed together and agreed upon and then lied and gaslight like no other. I probably only know 10% of what she actually did despite the “open communication” we were supposed to be bettering and building…your comment lets me know I’m not completely out of my mind
I also think that seeking intimate connection outside of the relationship helps to manage the feelings of engulfment that come with BPD. It provides a distraction to the overwhelm that comes from feeling like you are the centre of someone else’s world… and feeling like you are responsible for their needs. It keeps a selfish focus for the person with BPD, and allows them to keep one foot always out. Having both feet firmly in stimulates a lot of fear and anxiety so in a way, having other partners can be a way to stay connected in the only way they know how. Obvs the healthy way would be to address attachment issues in therapy and increase tolerance of that distress that comes from being in an intimate relationship… but that is the hard road.
It would definitely not work for me (my other serious ex wanted that) but I know plenty of people for whom it does. My exwBPD actually seemed shocked I wasn’t weirded out by the idea. She was incredibly possessive, even when we weren’t doing ok. ETA: physical cheating also wasn’t an issue in our relationship. I gather that’s common among quiet type.
Jesus !
You guys are sick. If my girlfriend or wife make sex with other persons it is over.
Good for you, the difference between me and you is I won't be judging you on your personal preferences.
Ok, sorry for judging you but for me this is unacceptable.
All good. For 95% of my life I have felt the same way, and it is unlikely I would try it again.
And for some, your way of life is disgusting yknow
Probably their horoscopes matched then
I used to think we had some sort of unusual connection. It’s like I felt something that was supernatural or something and we were just made for each other. I’ve learned to recognize that this was just the disease and relationships don’t go that fast.
I literally thought the same thing. I had never been so drawn to a person
When they breakup, they barely remember your name
Usually break up with you at least a month before they communicate the break up.
A month, two months, two +++ years. One of his “explanations” after I finally dragged it out of him that we were breaking up was “I loved you for the first year or two”. What?! We were together 6.5 (torturous) years!!!!!! I told him to stop talking after that. He had been with his “soulmate” for 2+ months at that time (of course lying telling me he “just needed to be single”). Cheating with multiple women for years. Abusive for years. She was BPD, he NPD/BPD among other disorders. Wow the way that one came crashing down two months later was one for the BOOKS! Wish you could have seen! She made it highly public but he had kept her hidden enough that not many people knew of his new “soulmate” so they didn’t see what she was screaming from the rooftops. Too bad. She’s BPD too but girl ain’t wrong! Let’s go sis 🍿 He leaves a trail of broken women (and men?) in his wake, playing the victim, blaming them, while running his game on the next, ever in search of his “soulmate” (I was his soulmate too in the beginning). Soulmate = 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
The temptation to ask if yours and mine share a name is overwhelming. Par for the BPD course tho, right?
Yes, and they forget about you in only a matter of days
💯
"When they breakup, they barely remember your name" Worst part of all of this. She's even surprised people I haven't seen for a while ask her about me.
She said it to me on our very first date, I can remember thinking the next day that was so strange and for the first time in my life, I discovered the term love bombing and I thought no really this can’t be it. I remember telling myself to be careful, but I just got swept up in it.
How did it end?
I’m currently living in my own personal form of hell.
It will get better, be strong and patient.
Sending you love .
Thank you friend. And I send love to you too.
I bet we can guess..
Tortured, emotionally abused, made fun of, discarded.
Did you reciprocate this? Cause I did.. I idealized this girl for 2 years like I really liked her she was beautiful smart cool liked all the things I liked and for 2 years I fantasized about what it would be like to be with her. When we finally went on a date we clicked immediately. 2 weeks in she's already telling me how I was exactly what she needed made me feel like the best thing that happened to her. Were saying I love you. I reciprocated this love bombing out of genuine feelings like she really made me feel like we were in love. 2 weeks later, ashes. Told me she didn't know if she wanted to be with me. I had to go no contact cause the push and pull was fucking with me mentally. I still hope she reaches out although I know it's for the best that she doesn't. But am I at fault for reciprocating this? Am I the only one that reciprocated?
I reciprocated, yes. I honestly felt like I was in love and I had met the woman of my dreams. She is/was so incredibly attractive, alluring. She was a combination of vulnerable yet confident beautiful in a very unique way. She is the weirdest, most fascinating person I’ve ever met in my entire life .She gave me a feeling that I’ve never ever ever had before. I still get it a little bit. I’m actually getting a bit whilst I’m writing this, I’ve done a bit of research and it is to heroin addiction if not more addictive. To be honest at this point, maybe I’ll just start shooting up heroin….. only joking.. anyway yes I reciprocated it was two years of push pull her discarding me me, begging for her to take me back me doing things and acting in ways that I have never done so before thinking that it was because I was inlove with her, but I now know I was addicted to chemicals that she released in my body. I am still addicted to those chemicals. That’s what I’m fighting now. Just put it all out that we went through an abortion together, which was an insanely difficult thing for both of us, especially her. We met online on a less than reputable site, we ended up creating an only fans account together, which is still active and I find it incredibly difficult not to, look at it now. It’s like oh here you are here is what you used to have and look other guys are getting it now. To me it was love and sex but obviously to her it was just sex, but she told me that it was love, but I know it wasn’t. She was using me, I kind of knew it at the time but I still was brainwashed, blinded to the reality. But I feel like I am on my own personal road to Damascus. I’m getting there. When I do, I know I’m gonna be stronger for it. I’m not gonna let her destroy me. I reciprocated 100% and it was the best and worst thing I’ve ever ever done in my life.
My brother, the silver lining here is she went through with the abortion. Otherwise, you would've gained a lifelong problem instead of a temporary one.
No.
I think a lot reciprocate back. It’s not all on them. At all. It’s two sided. Difference is I’m an anxious attachment and she’s an avoidant. I run to while she runs away. I don’t do well with avoidants at all. Plus the withholding and mind games and lies and manipulation and financial abuse. Everyday it was something new. I can’t stand her now. I used to really love her. Now when I think of her I feel nauseous. And I’ve just pushed her far the fuck away. Let someone else deal with that bullshit. I definitely reciprocated and all while I was still giving everything to the relationship I could she was pushing and pulling non stop. So fucking weird and anxiety inducing. Was just waiting for the day the relationship ends. Cause I knew it would come. And sure enough it did. Didn’t take much in the end. Just me commenting on her criticism of me. That’s all. Then poof. She was gone just like that. After all the marriage talk and shit lol. Yeah she really put the effort in lol. Fuck her. She sucks lol.
Jokes on you, mine slept with me on day two, one year Later and I just filled a police report against her this week. How the time flies , seriously people STAY AWAY, you will not fix them it will not be different.
First time we got together we had sex 🤦♂️ I should had seen the red flags right from the start
You never see them and that’s okay. I also had the misfortune of my pwbpd being my first time having sex, she was also 7 years older than me I was 22 so you can imagine how special I felt and she rolled with it.
Spot on
>On the second week, you are already sleeping with each other. Everything else was accurate except this. Literally blew me on the first date. I later joked with a friend that she sucked my soul out my pole and it took me two years and a lot of abuse to get it back.
Instead of Sleeping, it should be living
That part would be accurate. I was functionally living with her within like a week.
Insanely similar
Same
This exactly
Same with me, same day lol. I only say lol because of the soul through the pole comment. I needed a laugh. Mine sucked dick like a hoover with a 450 dropped in it. Thought my soul and possibly my face was going to get sucked through and out my dick. And she was doing it three to four times a weekend for several years, while telling me I was the most amazing, sexy, and kind lover, person, and man she had ever been with. Of course, during that time, I saw suspicious activity that should have been a warning sign of cheating. Unfortunately, I did not want to believe it, so I denied that it was happening. Then I physically saw her sext two separate guys. Yep, that was a swift kick to my nuts. Then the excuses kept coming why she couldn’t be intimate with me or spend the time with me she used to spend. It felt like I was living in an acid trip that looked like beautiful flowing fields of colorful flowers, to only find out it was a dark and loomy cave filled with bat shit.
Damn, dude. I had to go check my carbon monoxide detector (it's working fine) to make sure I didn't write this on an alt I don't remember making. Near word for word recounting of our relationship.
Crazy how similar all of our accounts are right? That’s how I know, unless something specific would be mentioned to indicate who we are, they would never know it was us based on the experiences we write about in here. It’s like there is a group of PD that is formed somewhere, where they all discuss and rehearse the same script over and over again. I’m not saying every PD is the same, but there sure the hell are a lot of very very similar actions many PD seem to repeat. However, on that note, we actually could have seen the same woman, with the vastness of supply many of us have discussed them keeping in their stable. I wonder sometimes if we all mentioned one thing specific to them, if we didn’t care about remaining anonymous, would we find out that some of us did see the same woman lol. Sorry you had to go through this shit too dude.
I wonder how many of them picked fights because of how similar all of our experiences are. Like, when a pwBPD finds this sub, do they just assume it's their significant other and go off on them for sharing their problems online? ETA: Also, sorry you had to go through it too. Fortunately, I met my wife later the same year I finally ended this with my pwBPD. Unfortunately, the stepdaughter that I got when I married my wife was later diagnosed as BPD.
Yeah, that's basically all it was with my one. Couple times a week.. Then it became ghosting, games and blaming me for her issues.
"We're the same person in two bodies". Yeah, I guess. You're mirroring me so hard.
Ahahah “your body connects with mine like no other before”
Ahhhh these two comments make me feel like crap. They’re the exact words I heard too. But thing is, I really believed it to be true! I’ve never had a partner whose body I connected with like that. What is that all about???
100%
According to my exwbpd, everyone she's ever dated thought she was their soulmate. She completely didn't see the red flag - she thought it was an indication of how 'high value' she is. It was said with defiant pride.
The terms "my person" and "the one" are also red flags, especially if it's in the first weeks of meeting them.
Checks out.
"You're my missing puzzle piece." We had sex on our second date, and it was absolutely incredible. We stayed in bed together that whole next day, 24 straight hours of having sex. Shortly after that, she was holding my hand in public. At first I was a little bit surprised. But I loved it. It felt so tender, so real. I felt: *No wonder I've never felt this before... Because I hadn't yet met her, the love of my life. This is what true love feels like. Everything has led me here.* I remember one night I dropped her off and we were making out goodbye in my car. And she just "couldn't get out" of the car. She kept coming back to kiss me and make out with me. The way she looked me in the eyes... It was full adoring, caring, loving. Like she was falling in love. Like she felt the same way I did. So excited, like we had found our missing puzzle piece. I remember driving away that night singing at the top of my lungs. Everything in the relationship was perfect. Perfect. No fights. No arguments. Fun three hour long conversations on the phone. Walking in the park holding hands. Doing fun little day trips. Random people would come up to us and say: "You two make the perfect couple.", "I wish I had a partner the way you two look at each other. You look like you are both absolutely in love.". Things like that. Perfect. Six months. Then one night on the phone at midnight after I had just finished working. I called her to say goodnight and to make plans for the next day which was the weekend. (We always counted down the days: "Only three more sleeps!"). And... She split. That's all I can describe it as. She turned into a completely different person. 180 degree turn. She was aggressive, accusatory, insulting, disrespectful, she interrupted me, she twisted everything I said to a negative (whereas before she twisted everything I said to a positive), she mocked me, she manipulated me into apologizing. We saw each other twice after that. When we were together, we would spend the weekend and have incredible, unbelievable, long sessions of reconciliation sex. Looking each other in the eyes for long periods of time. Holding and cuddling each other. Loving each other. And then she blocked me. I waited patiently. For a year. She never unblocked me. And that was that. I don't think I will ever love like that again. The whirlwind was overwhelming. I've never felt that before. It was wonderful.
The missing piece. Yep. Exact words
Shiiid bro, how do you proccess this? U good?
For the first six months I couldn't eat or sleep. I would wake up at 4am shaking, crying, then running to the bathroom for diarrhea. Couldn't get back to sleep. I lost 25 pounds. It was a disaster. It's been a year and a half now. I saw her last month at an event. I tried to make peace with her, but instead she continued to insult me, interrupt me, disrespect me, and basically blame me for everything. So no closure. No acceptance of the olive branch. Everything is completely my fault. For some reason. How am I processing this? Barely. Therapy, exercise, Journaling, meditation, this sub, friends, new job, new apartment... I'm barely hanging on. It has been the most difficult experience of my life. At the very least seeing her a month ago showed me she truly is at least slightly delulu. The way she attacked me was way over the top.
Stay strong brother! Dating isn't an option?
Man I'm sorry to hear how much this affected you, but I can totally relate. Stay strong and keep on keeping on.
Exactly. I must add: two weeks later after the first encounter she will tell you she is pregnant. Voilà, you got yourself a longlife problem.
Extreme
Not that extreme... pretty common
Mine did that, but thanks to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, she wasn’t. Eventually, I found out that even if she had been, there was a very good chance the kid would not be mine. I told her, she hated the fact I could even remotely think that. How? Well, you fucked another dude 1 day after our first night together, my dear… that’s how. I forgive you this time because we are just starting, but that’s extremely fucked up. Thought she had understood and genuinely felt bad about her behaviour, she really seemed genuine. Obviously, I was wrong… and even the rationalisation/excuse she had given for it turned out to be a lie in the end
🤣 I’m going through that right now 😝
Same but I was dumb enough to think she was a good idea for 2 months and her believing she couldn't get pregnant due to too many prior abortions was immaculate conception. I guess I should have seen the multiple prior abortions as a reason to wear a condom and not shoot loads inside her, but fuck she was convincing and if you think there was any consideration of me arguing against her keeping it, you'd be wrong! So this man child raised by a undiagnosed bpd woman has now got at least one bpd woman until the daughter he is barely allowed to see ( because he won't buckle to giving her the things she wants - sex, money, menial tasks completed - as a condition of having time with the now 18 month old ) is 18 years old. Thanks life!
Same brother but I got 2
Yup, that’s my situation to a T I don’t know what I’ve got coming.. doesn’t sound though.
I won’t lie. I did say these things because I genuinely thought that. The immediate love bombing had me on edge and a bit uncomfortable in my gut but I don’t date a lot and figured maybe this is actually what it’s supposed to feel like. The similarities were insane. Within weeks we’d had sex, I’d met her parents, and she told me she loved me, all her friends knew who I was… we hadn’t even ever had a formal conversation about what we were. We’d known each other for a couple weeks… I ended up cutting things off after a couple weeks because I realized how insane some of the conversations we were having were when not with her and it made me uncomfortable. Marriage, living together, things like that. It was a bit odd to be planning those things within a month of knowing someone. I told her I couldn’t reciprocate that level of commitment right now, the relationship is going way too fast and I wanted to just be friends. Any longer and I’d be leading her on. Maybe that was the BPD, maybe she was just very clingy. Either way it was too much too fast for me. The crazy thing is she told me she has BPD at the start but somehow I feel like I’m the crazy one coming out of this
It took a month for the first pregnancy scare.
Congratulations! You are their 13th soulmate!
🥲
Sad but true. I was not ready for it but am stronger from it.
It's just a toy story
They are the worst kind of human. Mine moved a guy in with her only to act like its no big deal. They truly dont care about anything or anybody. Monsters of the most human kind.
Lmao true
100%
Was their angel on the first week. By the end I was calling them my soulmate (after 2 years) and they were rolling their eyes at me.
Damn, exactly how it happened to me.
And here I was thinking I was a special friend /s. Soulmate came shortly after we met (friends only). Silent treatment shortly thereafter due to me trying to set a boundary.
I know a PWBPD she also has NPD and is bipolar, her daughter who I am friends with and I have heard her say that my friend's stepdad who is bipolar and beat her up was "The love of my life!" 🙄😳Her mom tries to and sometimes does seduce men and it doesn't matter if they are married or if my friend tells her "While you are visiting me do not bring men here and do not drink alcohol." her mom has given people herpes.
My mistake with her is I had actually already known her for years (albeit online) so the connection feeling so intense so quickly didn’t set off the alarm bells the way it normally would. I don’t have regrets. No, what she did was not okay. But I got out of so many comfort zones, I tried living in a new city, I made some great connections, I hustled for myself in ways I never had to before. She didn’t mean to do this but the relationship I had with her taught me how to be adaptable to a lot of things. I am glad I took the chance on someone that, had I not taken that chance, I would have asked myself “what if?” about for the rest of my life. Now I know. I am just sorry (not so much for her herself but for the situation) that she was not, in fact, on the same wavelength. We could have had a wonderful life. I hope she finds stability some day.
My ex has been with 4 different dudes since we broke up back in 2016. She has called every single one her soul l mate including me and the others before me. I have known this girl for over 18 years for some back story. She and her current BF are about to have one year together, which is usually around the time when things start to go sour. Her first signs is usually posting a lot about their relationship on social media, which she is doing a lot currently. One might think about how is that a bad thing. I honestly have no idea it is just her pattern. I guess it's some weird way to validate that things are good, almost like she trying to paint the relationship white while seeking validation from others.🤷♂️
My friend does this with a girl she’s just gotten with I’d say theve been together for about 3 weeks I doubt they’ve known each other long though.
Bro She met the guy on those modded GTA servers but wait there's more he already move in with her 4 months into the relationship bro what?.
This shit almost killed me
My story wasnt like that …
Share, please
I met my pwbpd at college she was 17 and I was 26 she didn’t know her diagnostic , we started as a friend because at the time she had a bf . Months went by and she barely was speaking to me, I started digging in to her memories, she had a messed childhood between her parents and the neighbor who abuse her. When she turn 18 she had an a suicidal attempt when she call me crying I show at her house she went to a hospital and right after I offered her to come live with me , months went by and I told her if she wanted me to be her partner, from that point forward all I did was help her understand what was going on, I even had a psychologist telling her I was a toxic and narcissistic person and she never mentioned me in any sessions, after that we move on to a different dr which at the end was the one giving the diagnosis. After two suicidal attempts in a 6 year stretch in the second attempt she did fall through but i arrive just in time.. she had never been abusive, or call me names .. in the other hand in 2 occasions I turn violent leading to her taking off because at the time we didn’t know what was going on , and when I get anxious i get violent also. But she stick with me a combat veteran who had seen his share of death and violence.. nowdays we move forward and everytime an episode is coming she let me know and I help her comeback to reality.. but nothing like the post I had read here…
Give few hours when i get off job i will share it
It is constantly wild to me how much of a shared experience these things are. He always went out of his way to tell me how different and special I was and how much he loved me. He told me he loved me on our second or third date. He was broke, so no gifts, but the love bombing. It all felt so good. It’s hard to be in a “normal” relationship now. I feel like I don’t know what to expect or how to act. Now I’m being too much. Uhg
From what I've managed to talk with my partner w bpd, he never forgets, every time he breaks up with someone he gets depressed beyond the healthy standard, sometimes dragging his family to take him to the psychiatrist on force.
Possible to have BPD partner who ISNT verbally like this?
I don’t know