You're forgetting the other half, which is "Find out as fast as possible a topic you both are legitimately interested in, and steer the conversation to that"
Coincidental. If Astarion were reading fluff he'd be a lot more embarrassed. Like a giddy schoolgirl. He could read filth in church and act like it was gospel. I won't be convinced otherwise.
Considering the fact that both wyll and shadowheart can recite trashy smut novels from memory I wonder if they all pass books out at camp or read them aloud for shits and giggles
I would love to see his reaction to twilight.
Tav poking his arm or grabbing a bit of his skin and jokingly asking him, *Hmm, I think I see a bit of glimmer here. Are you starting to sparkle in the sunlight?*
And astarion looking peeved 😂😂
I like to think they’re just writing in their diaries.
Astarion: Today that idiot Tav let me bite them. Honestly, has this person never met a vampire? I offered them sex in addition and they are rightfully smitten; my protection is assured. Good show, Astarion!
Gale: Dear diary, Tav still hasn’t spoken to me yet, which puts me in a bit of a bind, as we really ought to settle on our wedding colors before the day.
He's not incapable, he just doesn't want do deny the world his lovely dulcet tones.
^(...also it's because he found out Elminster had a scry spell on him, speaking out loud when reading means he gets thousands of pages to pore over. Poor guy doesn't realize he edits books for Volo, that's not going to stop him.)
Also Gale: "Yesterday I told Tav about my Ex again, They got mad about it and stabbed me, they also managed bring me back to life a day later, women am I right?"
Party banter while walking around. I think it was with Minthara? She chastises him for talking in his sleep and possibly keeping tav up.
...or maybe it was with Lae'zel?
My bet is that he has his simulacrum read everything back to him because he can't do anything normally.
My headcanon is that he also offered it to read outloud to Karlach so that she can read a book again and won't set them on fire in the process but the idea grossed her out.
Wheezing at Gales one. It would be hypocritical of me to judge him though, considering after meeting him for the first time I immediately started hoarding items to “fill our future house together” 😭😂
Oh, yes. Paintings too. I certainly missed some from deluxe edition and couldn't pick up Lohse near Nettie. They fixed it, so I will google and gather them all next playthrough!
If Tav is a half-orc, I'd imagine Tusk Love would be quite the page turner for the whole camp. Probably passed around in a fake cover.
"Shadowheart, what are you reading there?"
"It's a... umhh... boring stuff, you know, teachings of Shar and such"
"Why did you get it from Gale though? And why does the cover look like it's all doodles? Doodles of, wait - *what* is this?"
This better be canon. Also, I want a mod which makes it so that every time you interact with Tusk Love, you get a random message from some random-ass NPC with weird accent referring to themself as *jester.*
"Channelling your trauma based insecurities into unhealthy obsessions for power: A guide by Raphael; with personal anecdotes from Ketheric Thorm and Lord Gortash"
(I know Raphael is just trying to measure up to his father and that Gortash is a product of his own father but I imagine both their upbringings were likely tragic)
For reference of *how* powerful, like number 2, next to Asmodeus. He possibly could've been number 1 at one point, but that ship has probably sailed forever.
He's probably the *cleverest* Archdevil though, and that might be even more dangerous.
Yeah but that's probably because they're descended from canian devils, the plane he controls, there's one for Zariel too and she's a relative weakling (but a great general).
They just picked up the nearest books and are pretending to read them when they saw you coming. After witnessing you and the emperor doing the deed, things at camp have become very awkward. One of the books even appears to be upside down.
No, I could see Astarion being an arm chair philosopher. Almost solely for the purpose of making himself look smarter than others I assume, but I can see him doing that.
Book club book of the week: Twilight (recommended by Shadowheart whose entered her YA romance era)
Gale: "could you imagine if your Tav was this irritating and impossible to keep alive?"
Astarion: ((under his breath) "we have withers for the dying part.. but gods she is so shallow .. if she mentions his bloody face one more time! What about his wit, intelligence, musical skills.. anything remotely meaningful?"
Gale: "I see so .. their connection should be deeper, more meaningful? Go beyond some basic requirements.. such as .. let's see.. self preservation?"
Astarion, slamming the book closed and tossing it into his tent before stalking off, back ramrod straight muttering under his breath: "Fuck off, know it all."
See the way their tents have crossed over here.
Clearly, they are both reading the same thing as part of their book club.
The Adventurers Guide to Starting an on the Road Book Club.
Astarion is reading some really f'ed up romance of people who are constantly having s*x on dissected dead bodies.
Gale is reading crocheting tips.
Or vice versa.
Astarion is reading Gale's diary and is bored out of his mind, but thankful he's not as broody.
Gale is reading Astarion's diary, trying to memorize the broody style so he can enhance his own diary.
They're both reading Twilight, they have a two-man book club. It was Astarion's idea in that he suggested it sarcastically and Gale took it seriously but Astarion is much more into it. They couldn't get anyone else to join.
The Player's Handbook. They're trying to figure out if they should multi-class or not.
Gale loves the idea of sorcery points.
Astarion loves the idea of stabbing people...but like, more/better.
I wasn't wearing my glasses and for a second legitimately thought this was a picture of two actors on stage rehearsing some Shakespearean play or something.
*Boo & Minsc's Excellent Adventure*, by Jan Janssen & Haer'Dalis, printed by Waterdeep Press, 1381 DR.
And they're doing actually a theater play, with one reading Minsc's and other Boo's lines.
Whatever it is, Gale will say he's reading it for the articles, and Astarion will say he's just reading it for the pictures. Both are lying.
I love it when Astarion says "I'm usually not one for literature" when picking up a book, while he spends all of his free time reading lol
Or that he has so many quotes from poetry. Sure you don't read, sure
motherfucker quotes The Tell-Tale Heart and I'm supposed to believe he's not one for literature
He’s just scared to openly admit that he’s a nerd. Even though it’s stupid obvious to all of our camp mates.
easy to admit you're a vampire. hard to admit you're a nerd. 😔✊
Well. One is universally badass/interesting/scary/sexy/whatever/whatever. One is more niche 😂
ikr, has some Shakespeare here and there as well
and he’s embroidered them into his own clothes!
You miss the part where it says “wrong answers only”.
Astarion: How to Win Friends and Influence People Gale: Velour Tracksuits for the Modern Wizard
As an owner of a velour tracksuit, I feel attacked.
Attacked? The guys had sex with a goddess and owns this look!
Well its not an uncommon occurrence with mystra.
They are hella comfy to couch around.
It's my leisure suit. I'm leisuring
Are you a modern wizard?
i didn't know i needed a mod with a velour tracksuit for Gale this much
As an owner of How to Win Friends, I support this.
Did you won any friends after the book?
Here I’ll summarize the book: People love their own name. Remember peoples names blah blah blah blah
You're forgetting the other half, which is "Find out as fast as possible a topic you both are legitimately interested in, and steer the conversation to that"
And if you ask Gale what the title is, he pronounces it like Zapp Brannigan.
Script for the upcoming patch and memorizing lines.
This reminds me of fancomics about 'the movie/play actors when they are not acting' scenarios and such. I bet there's some about BG3 too already
I think I saw one where it was Shadowheart and Lae'zel laughing about their characters squabbling and Astarion putting in fake fangs
The real flumphs mating rituals
I genuinely wanted to read and then it turned into some lame magic book.
wait it's magic?? aw man I put that in the camp to read later
"Ugh why is this book about a forge?"
You beat me to it :(
Astarion: smut Gale: ~romantic~ smut
Astarion:: Porn Gale: Erotica
It should had been wrong answers
They are wrong. We all know astarion loves Fluff.
Coincidental. If Astarion were reading fluff he'd be a lot more embarrassed. Like a giddy schoolgirl. He could read filth in church and act like it was gospel. I won't be convinced otherwise.
I don't see how you could be convinced otherwise because this is the most correct statement I've ever read on reddit.
This is 100% true. I will ask no questions
I was going with they're proofing each other's fanfiction. Basically this answer.
Astarion definitely reads hurt/comfort lol
Gale: "it's called hentai and it's art!"
Astarion: "A man of culture I see"
Considering the fact that both wyll and shadowheart can recite trashy smut novels from memory I wonder if they all pass books out at camp or read them aloud for shits and giggles
I hc that my book-loving Tav started a book club. sometimes they read trashy vampire fiction and ask Astarion if it's accurate
I would love to see his reaction to twilight. Tav poking his arm or grabbing a bit of his skin and jokingly asking him, *Hmm, I think I see a bit of glimmer here. Are you starting to sparkle in the sunlight?* And astarion looking peeved 😂😂
Asterion: amature porn on the hub Gale: AO3
OP said wrong answers not correct answers lol
I think you made a mistake here, let me amend that: Gale: smut Astarion: \~romantic\~ smut
Swords & Shields. By Varric Tethras.
I was thinking *Hard in Hightown*.
/*disgusted noise*
*Cassandra has entered the chat*
Thank you! Finally someone who knows *LITERATURE*
I like to think they’re just writing in their diaries. Astarion: Today that idiot Tav let me bite them. Honestly, has this person never met a vampire? I offered them sex in addition and they are rightfully smitten; my protection is assured. Good show, Astarion! Gale: Dear diary, Tav still hasn’t spoken to me yet, which puts me in a bit of a bind, as we really ought to settle on our wedding colors before the day.
Astarion: PS, that weirdo Gale keeps saying his diary logs out loud as he writes them
New canon just dropped: Gale is incapable of reading silently.
He's not incapable, he just doesn't want do deny the world his lovely dulcet tones. ^(...also it's because he found out Elminster had a scry spell on him, speaking out loud when reading means he gets thousands of pages to pore over. Poor guy doesn't realize he edits books for Volo, that's not going to stop him.)
That's possibly the most amazing trait for a wizard. "Hey Gale. Can you identify this scroll?"
... I'm gonna edit a character sheet real quickly
That sounds... extremely dangerous for a wizard.
Also Gale: "Yesterday I told Tav about my Ex again, They got mad about it and stabbed me, they also managed bring me back to life a day later, women am I right?"
Well he does talk in his sleep
Context? Is there a scene I missed?
Party banter while walking around. I think it was with Minthara? She chastises him for talking in his sleep and possibly keeping tav up. ...or maybe it was with Lae'zel?
I'm not surprised Gale talks in his sleep. He never fucking shuts up 🤣 (I find it oddly charming, don't get me wrong)
he never shuts up so I want to kiss him to make him shut up
Same! And you know his face would be shocked if you did that, and it'd be worth it 😂
I once put Wyll, Astarion ans Gale in one team OMG they were such chatterboxes compared to all the other configurations I tried
This is kinda adorable, not gonna lie 😂
My bet is that he has his simulacrum read everything back to him because he can't do anything normally. My headcanon is that he also offered it to read outloud to Karlach so that she can read a book again and won't set them on fire in the process but the idea grossed her out.
So you're saying Astarion is writing Vampire Diaries?
*begrudging upvote*
Wheezing at Gales one. It would be hypocritical of me to judge him though, considering after meeting him for the first time I immediately started hoarding items to “fill our future house together” 😭😂
I am gathering all the books for our future library. And all froggy teapots!
I have a ton of portraits for the spaces that aren't taken up by books!
Oh, yes. Paintings too. I certainly missed some from deluxe edition and couldn't pick up Lohse near Nettie. They fixed it, so I will google and gather them all next playthrough!
20 seconds after meeting gale: “so tell me about yourself” “Well, I have a cat” “You mean WE have a cat. Cool, I can’t wait to meet him!”
« Dear Diary, it is the 354th time I ask Tav to give me magic items but doesn’t. » - Gale
lol
Gale is writing in a new diary book, having filled the old one entirely. Astarion is reading Gale's old diary.
They opened a book club to trade and read each other's self-wrote fan fiction
Erotic friend fiction.
*Uncomfortable Tina groaning*
Astarion: The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Sir Taryon Darrington Gale: Tusk Love
If Tav is a half-orc, I'd imagine Tusk Love would be quite the page turner for the whole camp. Probably passed around in a fake cover. "Shadowheart, what are you reading there?" "It's a... umhh... boring stuff, you know, teachings of Shar and such" "Why did you get it from Gale though? And why does the cover look like it's all doodles? Doodles of, wait - *what* is this?"
Playing as a half-orc with the polyamory mod, this checks out.
Are you also a barbarian perhaps? That'll make our coincidence even more hilarious
Mostly yes, with obligatory fighter dip. I play every RPG as a human or demi-human martial my first playthrough, if it's an option.
Gale would definitely love Tusk Love
This better be canon. Also, I want a mod which makes it so that every time you interact with Tusk Love, you get a random message from some random-ass NPC with weird accent referring to themself as *jester.*
"You poopin' ?"
wait is Tusk Love in the game?! brb gotta boot up BG3-
If I could upvote more I would
Was looking for Tusk Love hahaha
this is feather leather erasure!
The lusty Argonian maid.
There it is!
https://youtu.be/U2Kq5YbfHhI?si=LYBWSdzQAUT-L6xP
Bad fanfic about each other
Astarion/Gale slachfics. They thought it was just one, written by a deranged individual, and it would take just a minute to read. It is now day 3
Sounds like something Shadowheart would write
nah we all know Karlach is the fanfic girl
XD we could only hope lol
Gith dictionary to settle an argument if they can use a githyanki word in mystical scrabble.
You can't use tsk'va like this, Astarion. It's not even written this way
Fuck i want this in the game so badly now. Where are my fucking board game nights, Larian?!
they realise Lae'zel has been calling them a slur /j
Drizzt fanfic <---> A thesaurus
I mean Astairon is a Drizzt Fan, if the High Rollers campaign is considered canon.
He has in-game dialogue making a Drizzt pun as well. I think it’s securely canon.
"Channelling your trauma based insecurities into unhealthy obsessions for power: A guide by Raphael; with personal anecdotes from Ketheric Thorm and Lord Gortash" (I know Raphael is just trying to measure up to his father and that Gortash is a product of his own father but I imagine both their upbringings were likely tragic)
Wait, who is Raphael's father? I missed that.
Mephistopheles is Raphael’s dad, he’s a very powerful arch devil, he gets mentioned a few times in the late game
For reference of *how* powerful, like number 2, next to Asmodeus. He possibly could've been number 1 at one point, but that ship has probably sailed forever. He's probably the *cleverest* Archdevil though, and that might be even more dangerous.
For any younger lore junkies, NWN Shadows of undrentide heavily involves Mephistopheles. And boy is he heavy.
I mean for reference there's a subrace of teiflings named after Mephistopheles
Yeah but that's probably because they're descended from canian devils, the plane he controls, there's one for Zariel too and she's a relative weakling (but a great general).
“Oh hey, we’re rehearsing a scene for the upcoming company play; Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me!”
With the sequel "STOPLICKINGTHEDAMNTHING".
Volo's Guide to Monsters. He is standing nearby and he insists on everyone reading his book.
And it is such a good book. Beautiful cover art.
My Immortal
Oh God. This answer wins
They just picked up the nearest books and are pretending to read them when they saw you coming. After witnessing you and the emperor doing the deed, things at camp have become very awkward. One of the books even appears to be upside down.
Astarion: How to kiss a wizard Gale: How to kill a vampire
I think this: Gale: How to kiss a Vampire Astarion: How to kill a wizard is MORE accurate
How to jump
False, that would imply they eventually learn.
Astarion: How to be Super Annoying *and* Cute, Volume V Gale: The Salty Mermaid. He heard so much about it.
Volume V is the last book, he borrowed them from gale
The erotic story Shadowheart and Wyll read about mermaids
Erotic friendfiction.
Fiendfiction
Fiendfriction
Written by Shadowheart?
Or Lae'zel. She's really ashamed of it, and will beat you senseless if you find out.
Astarion (crying): Biography of Keanu Reeves Gale: Dragon magazine, issue #110
Aw, Gale's reading up on Elminster!
Or its just smut about dragonborn 🤷♀️
*Baldur's Mate* a smutty retelling of the first two games.
“But I’m your sister!” she cried.
Gale: how to seduce a bear Astarion: how to read infernal Iykyk
Karlach: "need help again, Astairon? this infernal word literally means fuck."
“Githyanki mating rituals and how to survive”
Chapter 1: The Need for Heavy Armor Chapter 2: Is the “Tavern Brawler” Feat Right for You? Chapter 3: When to Rage
Gale, Hot goblin erotica. Astarion, a book on epistemology. Neither wants the camp to know their true passion.
No, I could see Astarion being an arm chair philosopher. Almost solely for the purpose of making himself look smarter than others I assume, but I can see him doing that.
Book club book of the week: Twilight (recommended by Shadowheart whose entered her YA romance era) Gale: "could you imagine if your Tav was this irritating and impossible to keep alive?" Astarion: ((under his breath) "we have withers for the dying part.. but gods she is so shallow .. if she mentions his bloody face one more time! What about his wit, intelligence, musical skills.. anything remotely meaningful?" Gale: "I see so .. their connection should be deeper, more meaningful? Go beyond some basic requirements.. such as .. let's see.. self preservation?" Astarion, slamming the book closed and tossing it into his tent before stalking off, back ramrod straight muttering under his breath: "Fuck off, know it all."
Love this. ♥️ Do you write?
Hahahahahaha *nervouspanickedlaughter* I do.. I'm currently about 300 pages and 200,000+ words into a fictional account of my playthtough
The fanfic yall nasties wrote
They're reading 5e handbooks to look next feats and special abilities to pick for their build.
Gale: How to seduce a vampire spawn. Astarion: How to seduce a Wizard.
See I was thinking Gale: how to seduce a vampire spawn Astarion: Best ways to annoy a wizard 101
I'd ship it
their ship name is bloodweave which is pretty good tbh
See the way their tents have crossed over here. Clearly, they are both reading the same thing as part of their book club. The Adventurers Guide to Starting an on the Road Book Club.
Twilight.
Backdoor sluts 3 & 4, getting caught up for when the future installments come out on VHS.
Back Door Sluts 9?!?!
It makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
Astarion is reading some really f'ed up romance of people who are constantly having s*x on dissected dead bodies. Gale is reading crocheting tips. Or vice versa.
It's definitely the other way around. Astarion is an embroidery enthusiast. Gale is a secret freak who gets hot and bothered after a fight.
Astarion is reading Gale's diary and is bored out of his mind, but thankful he's not as broody. Gale is reading Astarion's diary, trying to memorize the broody style so he can enhance his own diary.
they are reading yaoi
Gale: Interview with a Vampire Astarion: Harry Potter They’re trying to get to know each other better
Both are reading the salty mermaid. It's a classic
Lusty Argonian Maid Vol. 1
They're both reading Twilight, they have a two-man book club. It was Astarion's idea in that he suggested it sarcastically and Gale took it seriously but Astarion is much more into it. They couldn't get anyone else to join.
Gale is reading history novel and Astarion some fiction, both of them are reading out loud just to spite the other one
Tusk love (If you know, you know and we should be friends)
The book about flumphs (it has more to it than it first appeared)
If the internet has taught me anything they’re reading Bloodweave fanfiction probably the same one and fanfiction hijinks will ensue promptly
Astarion is clearly reading Twilight Whilst Gale is reading 50 Shades of Gray (or Grey)
The Player's Handbook. They're trying to figure out if they should multi-class or not. Gale loves the idea of sorcery points. Astarion loves the idea of stabbing people...but like, more/better.
Raphael's cringe diary
Astarion: the suddle art of Gliiter and its applications Gale: The US bomb manual
Astarion: Fifty Shades of Gale Gale: The Fault in Astarion
Both are reading romantic fanfic about eachother, thinking "hoo this seems so nice, i wish we had that, too bad he only see me as a friend"
How to deal with dark urges
Astarion: "How to Cook Wizards, 1001 recipes to make your meals magically delicious." By Durge
The Quatra Sune.
You just know Gale’s reading something incredibly dirty.
I wasn't wearing my glasses and for a second legitimately thought this was a picture of two actors on stage rehearsing some Shakespearean play or something.
Each other’s diary, unbeknownst to the owners
Astarion: How to suck without sucking Gale: How to recover "the magic" after a breakup
'Why is everyone so horny?' The asexual guide to baldur's gate
The lusty githyanki maid
*Boo & Minsc's Excellent Adventure*, by Jan Janssen & Haer'Dalis, printed by Waterdeep Press, 1381 DR. And they're doing actually a theater play, with one reading Minsc's and other Boo's lines.
Asterion: men's health magazine Gale: men's anatomy magazine
They’re both reading the lusty argonian maid
The communist manifesto.
Astarion about to unionise his siblings
Gale: Who Moved My Cheese Astarion: Eat. Pray. Love.
The Lusty Argonian Maid
The Lusty Argonian Maid, Book 1.
Twilight
porn. wait... the prompt was wrong answers only... my bad.
Astarion: How to make friends and eat them. Gale: 10 things to do before you explode.