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This was...a really informative BoRU, OOP documented it really well, every step of the medical process. I'm glad that OOP was able to resolve the medical issue and it wasn't due to sexual assault. What a trip though. I don't blame her for being hysterical.
The nurse saying false positives aren't a thing.
I want OOP to go back and slap her with the tumor. It's that kind of misinformation bullshit that took us back decades in women's health.
Judging by the questions she was having in some of her posts none of her nurses/Drs were very good. Either they weren’t telling her stuff or they weren’t taking the time to explain what was going on properly.
And also just not believing her when she said it's not possible!! I haven't had sex with a cis guy in almost two decades and still get treated with disbelief when I say it's not possible for me to be pregnant. They basically only accept my word if I out my partner as a trans man. I hate it.
Whenever I get certain medical procedures they ask if I could be pregnant. I tell them: I’m on two different forms of hormonal birth control for endo, I’m not sexually active, and I’m not even interested in the kind of sex that would get me pregnant. They always make me do a pregnancy test anyway. Motherfucker, if there’s a baby in there it’s the second coming of Christ! Believe what I’m telling you!
When I was 16 I had appendicitis and had to have emergency surgery to get it removed. I had never been sexually active at the time and am a lesbian. With all the rush of trying to set up the surgery and prep me for it, they forgot to actually give me a pregnancy test. The doctor put a drip of Valium in my arm right as I was being wheeled into the OR, which was also wild because I had never even gotten drunk at that point. The nurse checking all my charts one last time before the surgery stopped the doctor in front of the OR to try to administer a pregnancy test before the surgery. 16 year old me, absolutely blasted off Valium just rolled my head to the side, made intense eye contact with the nurse, and said, "if there's a baby in there you can cut that out too" and they just wheeled me into the OR 😂
It doesn't matter what you say they will ask and still do it for liability reasons because some people will adamantly deny it even if there's a possibility. It's upsetting and insulting.
This! I completely understand that some people lie for all kinds of absurd reasons, so just don't bother asking. Inform the patient that you are running the test, obviously, and just explain you are obligated to when a potentially fertile person who is presumed to have a uterus presents with certain symptoms. 99% of people would understand that. Same as when I had to be asked if there was any chance I was pregnant before having a CT scan... at 14. I hadn't even had my first kiss and I had the face of a 10 year old, so I was definitely caught off-guard but there are plenty of 14 year olds who looked as young and inexperienced as I did who could have been pregnant, so I get it.
I had my tubes removed so the only way I can get pregnant is via IVF. I still was forced to take a pregnancy test when I went to the ER because I thought I had appendicitis (turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst actually)
A friend of mine was required to take a pregnancy test at her gynecologist office as part of a routine exam. The same gynecologist office that handled her hysterectomy five years earlier.
Yeah this is what kills me - I get always doing the test, it’s basically a hormone level test and can be informative for all the reasons the OP found out, liability and sex Ed confusion and cancer and unknown sexual assault is always a possibility, etc etc. But then don’t put me through the weird twenty questions about sexual practices where you look at me like you don’t believe me and eliminate the trust between patient and practitioner! Just do the freaking test alongside all the other ones and leave the questions out of it! When I was a teenager at zero practical risk of pregnancy I had some weird medical issues and had to have this conversation so many times, it never did anything diagnostically productive, but it certainly did make me see my medical providers as my antagonists, which is…not great for anyone.
I remember, a few years ago I was in the ER for severe abdominal pain — bad enough I couldn’t sit upright in the car as my parents drove me. The first nurse ushered my parents out after doing initial intake to ask if I was pregnant, to which I said not possible, as I hadn’t had sex yet. She said ok and wrote it down. I end up needing a room and they need to do an abdominal ultrasound to check for causes. I am asked if I’m pregnant, and go give them a sample. I say that I cannot be, they say they just didn’t want my parents to get a surprise on the screen. Fair. Third nurse comes in to actually do the thing. Asks if I’m pregnant. I replay that I’ve never had sex, my girlfriend is a cis woman, and she’s doing a summer internship in Shanghai at the moment, so if I’m having a baby, it’s triple Jesus. My mom busts out cackling, and apparently this sticks as I’m not asked again.
It was kidney stones.
I just had my physical and I was reading my doctors notes after “claims she’s not interested in sex” and I dunno why but it just pissed me off. I didn’t claim anything I stated a fact.
That's such a rude way of putting it! What's wrong with just putting "[patient] stated she has no interest in sex" or something like that? It's factually accurate, still leaves whatever legal room they need for what patients say versus provable fact, but does so without being dismissive or denigrating.
Medical charts will often say "patient claims" or "patient denied" or "patient admits." I don't think it's the specific provider doubting what you say; it's just a weird language standard. It rubs me the wrong way, too! (Edit: typo)
I've had a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy, I don't even have a cervix anymore. I still had to do a pregnancy test before a procedure because according to the nurse "you are of childbearing age and anything can happen". I told her to call the pope if it came back positive.
20 years ago I was with my grandma getting an Upper GI done and the nurse asked her if she was pregnant. She was in her 60s. She told the nurse “If I’m pregnant I’m going to start a new religion. How do you feel about god?”
They still made her take one 🙄
As someone who has done similar shit to this: autopilot. I also asked a woman in her 60s if she was pregnant and I have tried to make SO many people with broken dominant hands fill out forms. I'm so sorry, I do these forms and book these pregnancy scans every day, so whenever exceptions come up my common sense doesn't kick in until the patient is staring at me wondering what the FUCK is wrong with me. I could absolutely see myself insisting na older woman does a pregnancy test and not actually computing her age until afterwards and dying of embarrassment.
Wow, so you don't actually make them fill out the forms? Credit to you my dude. When I sliced the tip of my dominant index finger off at the knuckle it was still held on by bone but otherwise not functioning and I was holding it to stop the blood flow with my other hand - and they just told me "you'll have to do your best." Still shocked I didn't get blood EVERYWHERE. Like, I filled that form out with my elbows and knees and pinkies.
Finger's fully functional btw, I really did get it all the way around but tendons are magic (practice immersion blender safety folks, I'm so lucky).
I'm not surprised that so many doctors were misinforming OOP. I've also been a victim of rural medicine (using Tennessee as rural in this context, bc the best docs rarely go there), and seriously they think women just get pregnant: sometimes they won't even screen you for other pathology.
As a virgin teen, I was having major upper abdominal pain, GI issues, and fevers, but they just said "you're pregnant." When I told him that can't be it, he yelled at me and only ordered a pregnancy test. He was shocked when it was negative, and then discharged me without any other tests or referrals because, "I don't know what's wrong with you." He didn't even order a flu test.
Glad OOP figured it out, and got it taken care of before it got much worse!
False positives where the test detects the hormones without them actually being present are extremely rare, but a “false positive” where the hormone is caused by something other than pregnancy is less so. The nurse was spewing an oversimplified explanation which she should definitely know better than to do.
Basic healthcare, in addition to being run by hedge funds, is partially prohibited by law where OOP lives.
It’s not just abortion that you need to go out of state for. It’s really any gyn services. You can’t outlaw part of the discipline and then pretend everyone will be super competent at the rest of it.
Exactly, and anyone in their residency learning ob/gyn will, if they want to learn the whole discipline, avoid a state like that. There will be very few competent ob/guns in those states in a few years.
Yeah, if I remember correctly, there’s one pretty rare type of testicular cancer that releases hCG, which will cause a positive pregnancy test. Which must be pretty goddamn *mind-blowing* if you don’t know that, and you lack the equipment to get pregnant, but piss on a stick and it says you’re having a baby.
In that nurses defense, we get told fairly frequently that someone "can't be pregnant" when they are. Horrible way to respond though even if someone was really pregnant and just unprepared or shocked. The better thing to do would have been to reassure that regardless of being pregnant or not, an ultrasound was the next step.
No i know theres probably a fair share of shock and or disbelief that can come from the situation; the response just drips with....iunno. Like shes talking to a child. And obviously, it looks worse because she wasnt pregnant.
A doctor told me about this couple who were trying for a baby and both did a pregnancy test together for laughs. They were very happy when one of the tests came back positive, obviously thinking it had to be hers and that they were expecting but it turned out to be his.
I think it was a rage comic, and it was presented as "isn't this a funny story", but then some of the comments were talking about testicular cancer, so he went to the doctor, got the cancer removed and now he's fine
I would absolutely lose my shit. Every time they ask me if I'm pregnant and I'm like, no I haven't had PIV sex in over 10 years and they always side-eye me and so the test. If it ever came back positive I would be flying off the walls like a panicked bird in an office lobby
when I was younger I thought it was extremely rude that EVERY doctor seemed to think I was pregnant/didn't know how to not get pregnant.
like I'm here for a sinus infection why the fuck are you giving me a pregnancy test?? and even if I was pregnant, I absolutely will not be giving birth to anyone, under any circumstances. so treat ME and MY symptoms because I'm a whole-ass adult and my life and health matter??
it took a few years before I understood how abysmal most people's sex education is, and how short a lot of pregnancy prevention falls. especially when you don't have the right information about how human bodies work in the first place. I didn't want to be lumped in with those idiots who clearly didn't pay attention in health class! then I realized how many people never even had that class. especially in the US.
it still icks me out that the medical default is "a female body is pregnant, until we prove it's not." it still feels like "medical professionals think I'm a moron because I'm female."
but I have to remind myself that frankly, it's not about me. not as an individual.
There are some scans and medications that shouldn't be used if you are pregnant. I'm a doctor. People lie to me all the time. Or have such low health literacy they really have no idea. I can't tell in 10 minutes if I can trust what a person tells me. Much better to judge no one and test everyone.
This! I am really glad they were very understanding. I am hopeful that this won’t affect their friendship going forward… Also, ngl, while I am glad that OOP is going to be ok, I am a little disturbed that she won’t have many options in her state had it turned that she was SA and ended up pregnant. Glad her parents are supportive though
The original nurse needs more medical and sensitivity training
Sadly nurses and doctors see sooooo maaaaany pregnant people who are either (a) in full shock and denial, (b) horribly and sadly uneducated about reproduction at all, (c) outright lying out of fear or rape, or (d) all of the above. It's demoralizing and harsh and they are burned TF out. That combined with the SEVERE attrition rate in nursing since Covid, and they are deeply overworked. Which doesn't excuse callousness, but "well you can because you are" is a pretty standard response. :/
I'm more upset by "false positives aren't a thing" because that's never been true and while I accept the reality of callousness, I don't really want to accept blatant misinformation that could conceivably cost someone their life in one way or another.
It would be more understandable if she said "False positives are very rare"
It's understandable why nurses are so burned out, but at the same time they can keep some tried and true phrases that won't upset someone getting very bad news.
Absolutely, that's exactly what she's supposed to say. I can't imagine why on earth she'd choose to say anything else.
There ARE a LOT of women who are not lying, mistaken, or unaware of their actual chances of pregnancy so basically telling them a random sperm DEFINITELY 100% for SURE got in them from who the fuck knows where is a horrific thing to say. I just shuddered. It's about as terrifying as the nasty balls of fat and hair possibility.
Agreed. And you know what? I think this explains false positives pregnancy scares I had with a super toxic ex gf decades ago in college. She tested positive, then negative a week or two later, multiple times near the end of my dealings with her, when we were still occasionally sexually active and she was on BC we'd been using for years with no scares or issues. And when I finally had a moment of clarity and cut her out of my life for good, she stalked me for quite a long time and would reach out any time she thought she had an excuse. Anyway one of if not the last times I ever heard from her was a bunch of emotional texts and super dramatic voice messages about how doctors think she has a tumor and might have to remove her ovaries, and she can never have children. This sort of puts those puzzle pieces together. But man I can relate to the frustration of a doctor who specializes in female reproductive health, insisting to us that there are no false positives and the only explanation was that she was actually pregnant every time but miscarried between the positive and negative test results, multiple times. While on birth control.
Jesus fucking h Christ that's an utterly shit doctor. I've had miscarriages plural. You don't just have them multiple times on BC and not fucking know. Gah my blood boils.
Yeah, as a guy, do not blame her one iota for suspecting the most obvious man in a scenario she was drunk as well. It happens way too fucking often for it not to be the most obvious (but horrifying) answer.
How heartwarming that her friends didn't resent her for enquiring, too. It would be so panic inducing to be in her situation and they responded with empathy instead of hating her for perceivably thinking of them so awfully. Just so glad she was supported unconditionally throughout this ordeal
The good news being that her friend took her absolutely seriously and did not blow her off. That OOP was still freaked out after that meant that she was severely stressed. There just aren’t that many women who will help their boyfriends commit rape.
Honestly she went at it very balanced. First, asking if they had sex and she didn’t remember it. Being understanding of his being hurt at the suggestion, while also still keeping the possibility he could be lying. Asking the partner, etc. being wary if the possibility of lying from any party throughout the whole thing while also not going scorched earth on anyone.
While if i was the guy id also be hurt, but id also understand the accusation if she directly accused me.
Honestly i envy her levelheadedness/ability to act in the face of a multi pronged disaster that had so many terrible possibilities
Yeah honestly the least level headed people here were the clinic staff who said that there was zero possibility that she was anything other than pregnant. They should have explained that it was highly unlikely that the tests were wrong, but that if she was absolutely certain, then she should get additional tests immediately (external abdominal ultrasound, transvaginal ultrasound, more extensive bloodwork, etc) and then helped her with what she’d need to get those tests. The OP’s panic could have been greatly mitigated had they given her better information, rather than stating that the only possibilities were that she was lying to them or she’d been raped. Yes those are more likely, but obviously the odds of a medical emergency that presents as pregnancy are nonzero. Had OP not been diligent about getting a second opinion, she could have become very sick, or even died.
Most obvious scenario for what OP describes was a tumor, if I'd seen the original post I would have posted so. Literally read the title and my brain fired off "tumor, go see your doc immediately".
You pop positive on a pregnancy test and know you haven't had sex in a while, testing again should be step 1, phoning your doc step 2.
It’s unfortunate that this apparently isn’t common knowledge. Just mentioned this in another comment a few days ago that pregnancy tests measure hCG levels. Elevated levels are found in 45-60 percent of biliary and pancreatic cancers and in 10-35 percent in most other cancers such as lung breast and prostate. “If a non pregnant person has an elevated hGC or positive pregnancy test she should be evaluated for a tumor”
I'm a vet tech and have seen a teratoma in a canine. It was super interesting. Rhodesian Ridgeback came for surgery to remove a mass on the tail that was so large that it was affecting the dog. Cut it out during surgery and there were 2 teeth and black hair inside the mass. We were all speechless until the vet said, "Hot damn, it's a teratoma!"
It was the first surgery I saw during my externship and I was chasing that high the rest if the time lol. I also saw tetanus in a farm dog that same week. I already loved what I learned in school, but I was addicted after that first week of externship.
One should absolutely not do this unless they are mentally prepared for something very scary.
Like asking about the cum jar scary. Or the cum coconut scary.
MedicalXpress)—A team of surgeons performing a routine appendectomy on a young woman also found and removed a tumor they noticed growing on their patient's ovary. Subsequent analysis of the tumor by researchers with the Shiga Medical Centre for Adults in Japan revealed that the tumor contained a teratoma with a brain-like structure along with a partially developed skull bone and hair fragments. They have published their findings in the journal Neuropathology.
This was the worst one! It has a brain!
Whaaaaaat in the actual fuuuuuuck
I'm glad I didn't google it so I didn't have to see multiple images, but goddamn that's weird shit, how the hell do we make these things, why are they full of fat and hair balls? These are all rhetorical questions because I did in fact read the page and it says we don't know but WHAT THE FUCK
God, now the "this is our son" message cracks me up even more.
I'm not gonna open that link, but these comments explain why they removed the ovary right away. At first I thought it excessive they'd do that, but... Yea docs feel free to remove my brain if you find teeth growing on it.
>Yea docs feel free to remove my brain if you find teeth growing on it
Well thanks for THAT, that's almost as good of a mental image as the actual image image.
RIGHT but this was the absolute worst one so now you’ve seen it all lolol. “what the fuck” is the ONLY possible reaction!!!!!
and yes the this is our son makes this so much better😂
This is a great explanation of a teratoma:
> A teratoma is a type of germ cell tumor — a tumor that starts in your reproductive cells like eggs and sperm. Most teratomas are benign (noncancerous), but sometimes they can become malignant (cancerous).
>Germ cells are the only cells in your body that can turn into many other types of cells. So, when a tumor starts in your germ cells, it can turn into many different types of tissue. This means teratomas can contain fragments of any body part. Some of the most common structures inside a teratoma include:
>- Teeth
>- Hair
>- Fat
>- Muscle.
>Less commonly, teratomas can even contain remnants of complex body parts like:
>- Liver
>- Lungs
>- Brain
>- Thyroid gland.
>It’s even possible to have one with eyes — at least parts of them, including eyeballs. But to date, there’s no record of a teratoma with complete body organs.
I had one with hair on my ovary. The seasoned doctor said it was the hairiest thing she ever removed from someone and called it "extraordinary".
I mean, I had always wanted to be remembered for something. And now a part of me always will.
If it makes you feel better, the teratomas don't usually come with a positive pregnancy test. Mine sure as hell didn't-- negative pregnancy test the day it was found on the scan and a negative test the day of the surgery to remove it.
We all thought it was an ovarian cyst. When they went in, it was a complete surprise.
And I was shocked that OOP was told it could take up to 2 weeks to biopsy possible cancer. Mine was given the all clear in three business days.
Teratomas are super fucking gross so the pathologist has to test every...tissue type.
All I can say is that to this day I'm happy my surgeon showed me the pictures post-op when I was still high.
I’m super weird and gross but I think they are so fascinating. I’d be legitimately upset if an ovarian cyst turned out to be a teratoma and I did not get the opportunity to beg to put it in a jar and keep it.
I’ve had a couple cancer biopsies. My first was a mole removal. That one was just at the doctors office with a two week turn around. …that turned to 6 weeks because it was being sent to numerous labs because no one knew what the hell it was and all the tests were inconclusive.
Then I had a sentinel lymph node biopsy where they took 2 lymph nodes- those results took 10 days to come back. Black Friday they called and told me both nodes had melanoma cells in them and I needed a full axillary dissection. That was scheduled about 3 weeks later and I feel like we knew pretty fast after that the rest were clear but I couldn’t tell you how long that was.
After that, I’ve had more in derm office removals that are all generally within the 2 week time frame given. And that “within 2 weeks” has been consistent over 10 years.
Consider it a life hack! pregnancy test is cheaper than a cancer screening just randomly do one every 6month and boom you have a cheap early warning system! Just mentioned this in another comment a few days ago that pregnancy tests measure hCG levels. Elevated levels are found in 45-60 percent of biliary and pancreatic cancers and in 10-35 percent in most other cancers such as lung breast and prostate. “If a non pregnant woman has an elevated hGC or positive pregnancy test she should be evaluated for a tumor”
Shit like this is why I want to go in and get all my inside lady parts removed. I just want to ask my doctor if I can get spayed. (Yes I know there are medical terms it frankly spayed seems more appropriate.)
>I never thought I would be relieved to have a monster tumor with teeth and hair that might be cancerous but I am relieved.
I had no idea what a teratoma was so the face I made when I read this part was probably hilarious. I hope OOP is ok!
My great aunt had one and the doctors that removed it were super excited because they aren't common (or at least not 30/40 years ago). After they took it out, they sent her a bill and she knew from the way they talked, they were going to keep it to study or something. So she told them she wanted it back for religious reasons, to give it a proper burial. They were panicking until she told them it was either that or wave her hospital fees. Guess who didn't have to pay their bill?
Weirdly, it kind of is. The body can do some seriously weird shit sometimes, and a teratoma is a tumor that's sort of like your body trying to make a baby without all the needed data.
They're super rare and a puzzle because they really don't know why it happens. Hell, they still don't fully understand why cancer occurs a lot of the time. (Sometimes it's obvious from carcinogens, and sometimes it's "your body got so old it's just doing stupid shit", and sometimes it's just "Dunno, were you abducted by space aliens recently?")
And benign tumors? I had one in my leg 30 years ago. We never figured out why I suddenly had a weird mass in my leg that started growing bigger and bigger. I suggested the space aliens theory to my surgeon and I'm probably lucky she didn't call for a psych consult.
But did you name the tumour and talk about it as though it was a pet? I had a friend who did that and it was kind of weird until you got used to it (his was malignant though, and did eventually end him).
About ten years ago I had a weird tumor on the back of my neck that had to removed. I named it Scrambles the Death Dealer. I wanted to keep it in a jar but the doctors wouldn't let me.
I swear I read about someone whose grandfather was born with teeth and hair on his back, and they barely managed to stop the midwife for calling for an exorcist.
Ooo how much hair? All babies develop a sort of downy layer of hair in the womb and usually lose it shortly after birth. My niece's hair was white and my son's hair was black.
Well…kind of, yeah. It’s not as uncommon as you’d think, to have a parasitic twin. During gestation, one embryo develops, while the other fails to do so. The embryo that develops into fetus will absorb the other. In some cases, just the excess DNA is left behind, creating a chimeric effect. In others, the baby is born with a visible tumor, that ends up being removed. In still others, vestiges are left in random organs, only to turn into a teratoma. Unless something is causing issues, such as jn OOP’s instance, it might never be discovered, or just viewed as a benign tumor.
It is weird! Basically the immature tissue has potential to grow into many different things, and it “wants” to grow and spread like normal immature tissue, making it very malignant. The mature stuff on the other hand just wants to turn into regular (tho gross) stuff like teeth and hair and doesn’t spread (it’s benign!), this also makes it way easier to remove.
The cool thing that an happen o. Rare occasion is an immature teratoma straight up maturing into a mature teratoma.
I've always said that a teratoma is basically when your body wants to make a baby but isn't exactly aware of the consequences of "just making a baby anywhere".
Medical stuff can be so scary I don't blame her for panicking.
Also shame on that nurse for not only being confidently wrong, but making OOP's panic so much worse
So much this. Total asshole.
OOP - I can't be pregnant.
Nurse - welp, ya are. No other possible explanation.
Why are so many healthcare workers like this?
Recently shared a story about getting birth control in a different sub— I am literally infertile and needed it for other reasons, and yet as soon as as healthcare touches woman of reproductive age all the “best practices” are humiliating or controlling in some way.
It was extremely jarring to go from an OB/GYN who was super patient and caring and understanding (that I’m post-babies/no babies), to staff being extremely uncaring and actively difficult just because I got dropped into the “pre-babies” gyn pipeline for this one thing. Like, the amount of scorn and judgement that was suddenly directed at me, like I was a stupid teenager who couldn’t keep her legs shut despite being a 30+ foster parent and married, was unreal.
I actually asked one lol.
Basically, especially with pregnancy, so many people lie. Teenagers with their parents, cheating partner, people in denial etc.
With quick visits, there’s no time to build trust or whatever.
It really sucks though
It doesn't excuse it, but statistically speaking it's _much_ more likely that someone is pregnant than a secondary health issue causing a false positive.
I actually only blame the nurse like...a medium amount. She's probably heard plenty of students say "there's no possible way" and what they mean is "my boyfriend is using the pullout method" or "I'm unaware that the condom broke" or "I legitimately don't know how babies are made." At a certain point you'd get numb to the protests and trust the information you have.
I was in disbelief at Terrible Nurse, and then I saw Tennessee and it all made sense.
>She said false positives aren’t a real thing
Just like Covid, I’m guessing.
Holy shit. Like 40% with a type of encephalitis with all kinds of horrifying symptoms are women with ovarian teratomas.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23507817/
“ Psychiatric manifestations include anxiety, mania, social withdrawal, and psychosis (i.e., delusions, hallucinations, disorganized behavior). The disorder is more common in females (80%), in approximately half of whom it is associated with an underlying ovarian teratoma.”
Oh, and add catatonia and tachycardia! https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28660470/
This is terrifying to read as I have a teratoma that’s been under monitoring for a few years now. The doctors said it’s too small to warrant surgery now and they are fairly certain it’s benign since it’s mature and hasn’t grown
Edit. Oops, replied to wrong comment.
Holy shit. Like 40% with a type of encephalitis with all kinds of horrifying symptoms are women with ovarian teratomas.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23507817/
“ Psychiatric manifestations include anxiety, mania, social withdrawal, and psychosis (i.e., delusions, hallucinations, disorganized behavior). The disorder is more common in females (80%), in approximately half of whom it is associated with an underlying ovarian teratoma.”
Oh, and add catatonia and tachycardia! https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28660470/
Teratomas are gross-ass body horror when they *don’t* have a forced-pregnancy scare attached to them.
I do vaguely recall reading that complex tumors like that are less likely to be malignant (to spread) than simpler tumors, so that’s good.
Yeah, that’s what really got to me. How many anti-woman states have also passed laws which low them to prosecute women for leaving the state to get n abortion. You’d have to move away. Maybe for years.
These tumors/cysts are tricky things. I went to my OB with complaints, and he said you sound pregnant. I told him I was not pregnant. Something is wrong. He was so adimate that anything outside of pregnancy was highly unlikely. I had to convince him I was not pregnant. Even after finding out I had a huge dermoid cyst he kept saying it would not be responsible for my symptons. Which all cleared up after my surgery. It's so frustrating.
>*She said false positives aren’t a real thing*
I hate this nurse and I'm totally picturing OOP showing her the results and flipping her off.
I'm a cisgender guy who has never studied medicine and even I know there are several ways to give a false positive on pregnancy. Even as a guy. Specially as a guy.
Glad everything was okay, and that the friends weren't mad for the accusations
I drink in a basement until the wee hours and have been rendered incapable of feeling, I'm taking the dive.
EDIT: Unpleasant but I've seen worse. Two more vodka drinks to forget.
Can you describe it for people who are too scared to Google it? ^(I'm ^the ^people)
ETA: Thanks for the answers. They were fascinating and kept getting worse and worse lmao. The latest reply i got, although the most succinct, was the worst one of all for me haha 🥲. I did not expect this at all. Our bodies can do this???
Fleshy sacks that are a jumble of fat, hair, sometimes teeth. I just learned about the 'floating balls' variety, which are literally a pouch of flesh filled with tiny balls of fat, hair, and sebum. They look as horrific as they sound.
Goodnight!
Oh my god, this poor girl. What a horrible scare. I went through something VERY similar (surprise tumor on my ovary) and it’s awful! Very very frightening. I wish her all the best.
Cyst the size of a baseball on my ovary that decided to make itself known the day after a colonoscopy. So first I thought something had gone wrong there and then suddenly surprise cyst (worst pain I have ever been in, I know what a ten feels like on the pain scale now).
didn’t know that could have maybe caused a positive pregnancy test, I have no clue how I would have reacted (I’m ace, haven’t had sex with someone else, and also had my tubes tied, so I’d have been REALLY confused)
For anyone wondering like OOP: pathology is figuring out whatever it was that was biopsied; e.g. the tissue was benign, cancerous, or pre-cancerous; it’s this specific type of cancer (which helps the oncologist figure out a treatment plan); the kidney stone was formed from these substances (which helps guide diet guidelines for people with frequent kidney stones); etc.
I’ve had multiple teratomas. One of mine developed functional thyroid tissue and I was hyperthyroid for several months. For someone with Hashimoto’s, that was a trip.
I lost an ovary to one at 19 (bastard got so big it spun around and cut off blood supply), had a recurrence on the other ovary a decade later, and still have 2 healthy kids.
Okay but if our bodies can in some super weird circumstances grow tumors with teeth in them.... Is there any way we could trigger that stuff in vitro and grow ourselves replacement teeth?
Weird thought process I know. I've just been dealing with shite teeth and dentists my whole life and I just wish I was like a shark and could grow new teeth whenever needed lol.
We unfortunately as women need to start sending records of what happened to us to doctors/nurses who misdiagnose us especially when they do it condescendingly. Until doctors/nurses believe us and do everything they can legally/medically/insurance-y to find an answer for us we have to point out when they’re wrong.
I think the best option currently is a message through a patient portal if that’s available or a letter (just addressed to the doctor and hand delivered where you were treated). We’d probably need to plainly state when we saw them, symptoms, diagnosis/treatment they gave and then proof of whatever occurred when we went elsewhere. And finish with a strong statement asking them to believe their future patients.
I had a friend, well my daughter’s age and friend, who was brushed off by ER docs for stomach pain. Told her to go to a Gastroenterologist, who told her to eat more fiber.
Finally a female ER doc (went back to ER because of pain) and she did an ultrasound and found growths on her ovaries. They operated the next day. Long story short she battled cancer but it spread and she died last year. It was about two years in all. She was 30. She definitely wrote about her experience and let others know.
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This was...a really informative BoRU, OOP documented it really well, every step of the medical process. I'm glad that OOP was able to resolve the medical issue and it wasn't due to sexual assault. What a trip though. I don't blame her for being hysterical.
There’s a similar post somewhere except the person with the positive pregnancy test is a man who tried one as a joke. Similar outcome.
The nurse saying false positives aren't a thing. I want OOP to go back and slap her with the tumor. It's that kind of misinformation bullshit that took us back decades in women's health.
Judging by the questions she was having in some of her posts none of her nurses/Drs were very good. Either they weren’t telling her stuff or they weren’t taking the time to explain what was going on properly.
And also just not believing her when she said it's not possible!! I haven't had sex with a cis guy in almost two decades and still get treated with disbelief when I say it's not possible for me to be pregnant. They basically only accept my word if I out my partner as a trans man. I hate it.
Whenever I get certain medical procedures they ask if I could be pregnant. I tell them: I’m on two different forms of hormonal birth control for endo, I’m not sexually active, and I’m not even interested in the kind of sex that would get me pregnant. They always make me do a pregnancy test anyway. Motherfucker, if there’s a baby in there it’s the second coming of Christ! Believe what I’m telling you!
When I was 16 I had appendicitis and had to have emergency surgery to get it removed. I had never been sexually active at the time and am a lesbian. With all the rush of trying to set up the surgery and prep me for it, they forgot to actually give me a pregnancy test. The doctor put a drip of Valium in my arm right as I was being wheeled into the OR, which was also wild because I had never even gotten drunk at that point. The nurse checking all my charts one last time before the surgery stopped the doctor in front of the OR to try to administer a pregnancy test before the surgery. 16 year old me, absolutely blasted off Valium just rolled my head to the side, made intense eye contact with the nurse, and said, "if there's a baby in there you can cut that out too" and they just wheeled me into the OR 😂
You were pretty badass there. Hilarious, too.
It doesn't matter what you say they will ask and still do it for liability reasons because some people will adamantly deny it even if there's a possibility. It's upsetting and insulting.
And it’s like, why even bother asking if what the patient says doesn’t matter, you know? If you’re going to do it anyway what’s the point?
This! I completely understand that some people lie for all kinds of absurd reasons, so just don't bother asking. Inform the patient that you are running the test, obviously, and just explain you are obligated to when a potentially fertile person who is presumed to have a uterus presents with certain symptoms. 99% of people would understand that. Same as when I had to be asked if there was any chance I was pregnant before having a CT scan... at 14. I hadn't even had my first kiss and I had the face of a 10 year old, so I was definitely caught off-guard but there are plenty of 14 year olds who looked as young and inexperienced as I did who could have been pregnant, so I get it.
It’s one thing when it’s relevant. It’s another thing when they want to do a pregnancy test and I came in with a fucking sore throat.
I had my tubes removed so the only way I can get pregnant is via IVF. I still was forced to take a pregnancy test when I went to the ER because I thought I had appendicitis (turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst actually)
A friend of mine was required to take a pregnancy test at her gynecologist office as part of a routine exam. The same gynecologist office that handled her hysterectomy five years earlier.
Yeah this is what kills me - I get always doing the test, it’s basically a hormone level test and can be informative for all the reasons the OP found out, liability and sex Ed confusion and cancer and unknown sexual assault is always a possibility, etc etc. But then don’t put me through the weird twenty questions about sexual practices where you look at me like you don’t believe me and eliminate the trust between patient and practitioner! Just do the freaking test alongside all the other ones and leave the questions out of it! When I was a teenager at zero practical risk of pregnancy I had some weird medical issues and had to have this conversation so many times, it never did anything diagnostically productive, but it certainly did make me see my medical providers as my antagonists, which is…not great for anyone.
I remember, a few years ago I was in the ER for severe abdominal pain — bad enough I couldn’t sit upright in the car as my parents drove me. The first nurse ushered my parents out after doing initial intake to ask if I was pregnant, to which I said not possible, as I hadn’t had sex yet. She said ok and wrote it down. I end up needing a room and they need to do an abdominal ultrasound to check for causes. I am asked if I’m pregnant, and go give them a sample. I say that I cannot be, they say they just didn’t want my parents to get a surprise on the screen. Fair. Third nurse comes in to actually do the thing. Asks if I’m pregnant. I replay that I’ve never had sex, my girlfriend is a cis woman, and she’s doing a summer internship in Shanghai at the moment, so if I’m having a baby, it’s triple Jesus. My mom busts out cackling, and apparently this sticks as I’m not asked again. It was kidney stones.
Triple Jesus would be a good band name.
They didn't believe me either, until I looked the tech in the eye and asked if my ligated tubes and missing uterus could regenerate.
I just had my physical and I was reading my doctors notes after “claims she’s not interested in sex” and I dunno why but it just pissed me off. I didn’t claim anything I stated a fact.
That's such a rude way of putting it! What's wrong with just putting "[patient] stated she has no interest in sex" or something like that? It's factually accurate, still leaves whatever legal room they need for what patients say versus provable fact, but does so without being dismissive or denigrating.
Medical charts will often say "patient claims" or "patient denied" or "patient admits." I don't think it's the specific provider doubting what you say; it's just a weird language standard. It rubs me the wrong way, too! (Edit: typo)
I've had a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy, I don't even have a cervix anymore. I still had to do a pregnancy test before a procedure because according to the nurse "you are of childbearing age and anything can happen". I told her to call the pope if it came back positive.
I think you win. Where are you meant to have had a fertilized egg of mystery origin implant, your buttcheek? Smh
20 years ago I was with my grandma getting an Upper GI done and the nurse asked her if she was pregnant. She was in her 60s. She told the nurse “If I’m pregnant I’m going to start a new religion. How do you feel about god?” They still made her take one 🙄
I'm 60 now, and my doctors said 54 was their cutoff to check for pregnancy. The kicker? I wasn't quite through menopause at 54.
I’m 56 and barely started.
As someone who has done similar shit to this: autopilot. I also asked a woman in her 60s if she was pregnant and I have tried to make SO many people with broken dominant hands fill out forms. I'm so sorry, I do these forms and book these pregnancy scans every day, so whenever exceptions come up my common sense doesn't kick in until the patient is staring at me wondering what the FUCK is wrong with me. I could absolutely see myself insisting na older woman does a pregnancy test and not actually computing her age until afterwards and dying of embarrassment.
Wow, so you don't actually make them fill out the forms? Credit to you my dude. When I sliced the tip of my dominant index finger off at the knuckle it was still held on by bone but otherwise not functioning and I was holding it to stop the blood flow with my other hand - and they just told me "you'll have to do your best." Still shocked I didn't get blood EVERYWHERE. Like, I filled that form out with my elbows and knees and pinkies. Finger's fully functional btw, I really did get it all the way around but tendons are magic (practice immersion blender safety folks, I'm so lucky).
I'm not surprised that so many doctors were misinforming OOP. I've also been a victim of rural medicine (using Tennessee as rural in this context, bc the best docs rarely go there), and seriously they think women just get pregnant: sometimes they won't even screen you for other pathology. As a virgin teen, I was having major upper abdominal pain, GI issues, and fevers, but they just said "you're pregnant." When I told him that can't be it, he yelled at me and only ordered a pregnancy test. He was shocked when it was negative, and then discharged me without any other tests or referrals because, "I don't know what's wrong with you." He didn't even order a flu test. Glad OOP figured it out, and got it taken care of before it got much worse!
False positives where the test detects the hormones without them actually being present are extremely rare, but a “false positive” where the hormone is caused by something other than pregnancy is less so. The nurse was spewing an oversimplified explanation which she should definitely know better than to do.
Basic healthcare, in addition to being run by hedge funds, is partially prohibited by law where OOP lives. It’s not just abortion that you need to go out of state for. It’s really any gyn services. You can’t outlaw part of the discipline and then pretend everyone will be super competent at the rest of it.
Exactly, and anyone in their residency learning ob/gyn will, if they want to learn the whole discipline, avoid a state like that. There will be very few competent ob/guns in those states in a few years.
Yeah, if I remember correctly, there’s one pretty rare type of testicular cancer that releases hCG, which will cause a positive pregnancy test. Which must be pretty goddamn *mind-blowing* if you don’t know that, and you lack the equipment to get pregnant, but piss on a stick and it says you’re having a baby.
"Obviously you can because you are." That nurse, man.
In that nurses defense, we get told fairly frequently that someone "can't be pregnant" when they are. Horrible way to respond though even if someone was really pregnant and just unprepared or shocked. The better thing to do would have been to reassure that regardless of being pregnant or not, an ultrasound was the next step.
No i know theres probably a fair share of shock and or disbelief that can come from the situation; the response just drips with....iunno. Like shes talking to a child. And obviously, it looks worse because she wasnt pregnant.
A doctor told me about this couple who were trying for a baby and both did a pregnancy test together for laughs. They were very happy when one of the tests came back positive, obviously thinking it had to be hers and that they were expecting but it turned out to be his.
Ha ha, obviously this is a terrible test. Googles it. Oh shit!
I think it was a rage comic, and it was presented as "isn't this a funny story", but then some of the comments were talking about testicular cancer, so he went to the doctor, got the cancer removed and now he's fine
I distinctly remember it was a Reddit text post or someone on something like /r/mildly interesting. It has to be at least 7 years old by now
[rage comic from late 2012](https://www.mprnews.org/story/2012/11/08/when-social-media-saves-your-life)
https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/stm50x/oop_goes_nuts_pregnant_man_rage_rage_comic_leads/
It ended up saving his life
I would absolutely lose my shit. Every time they ask me if I'm pregnant and I'm like, no I haven't had PIV sex in over 10 years and they always side-eye me and so the test. If it ever came back positive I would be flying off the walls like a panicked bird in an office lobby
I tell them I've had a hysterectomy and they still have to check to make sure I'm not pregnant. 🙄
[удалено]
when I was younger I thought it was extremely rude that EVERY doctor seemed to think I was pregnant/didn't know how to not get pregnant. like I'm here for a sinus infection why the fuck are you giving me a pregnancy test?? and even if I was pregnant, I absolutely will not be giving birth to anyone, under any circumstances. so treat ME and MY symptoms because I'm a whole-ass adult and my life and health matter?? it took a few years before I understood how abysmal most people's sex education is, and how short a lot of pregnancy prevention falls. especially when you don't have the right information about how human bodies work in the first place. I didn't want to be lumped in with those idiots who clearly didn't pay attention in health class! then I realized how many people never even had that class. especially in the US. it still icks me out that the medical default is "a female body is pregnant, until we prove it's not." it still feels like "medical professionals think I'm a moron because I'm female." but I have to remind myself that frankly, it's not about me. not as an individual.
There are some scans and medications that shouldn't be used if you are pregnant. I'm a doctor. People lie to me all the time. Or have such low health literacy they really have no idea. I can't tell in 10 minutes if I can trust what a person tells me. Much better to judge no one and test everyone.
I'll add props to the friend couple for not freaking out on her for being scared she might have been raped.
This! I am really glad they were very understanding. I am hopeful that this won’t affect their friendship going forward… Also, ngl, while I am glad that OOP is going to be ok, I am a little disturbed that she won’t have many options in her state had it turned that she was SA and ended up pregnant. Glad her parents are supportive though The original nurse needs more medical and sensitivity training
Sadly nurses and doctors see sooooo maaaaany pregnant people who are either (a) in full shock and denial, (b) horribly and sadly uneducated about reproduction at all, (c) outright lying out of fear or rape, or (d) all of the above. It's demoralizing and harsh and they are burned TF out. That combined with the SEVERE attrition rate in nursing since Covid, and they are deeply overworked. Which doesn't excuse callousness, but "well you can because you are" is a pretty standard response. :/
I'm more upset by "false positives aren't a thing" because that's never been true and while I accept the reality of callousness, I don't really want to accept blatant misinformation that could conceivably cost someone their life in one way or another.
It would be more understandable if she said "False positives are very rare" It's understandable why nurses are so burned out, but at the same time they can keep some tried and true phrases that won't upset someone getting very bad news.
Absolutely, that's exactly what she's supposed to say. I can't imagine why on earth she'd choose to say anything else. There ARE a LOT of women who are not lying, mistaken, or unaware of their actual chances of pregnancy so basically telling them a random sperm DEFINITELY 100% for SURE got in them from who the fuck knows where is a horrific thing to say. I just shuddered. It's about as terrifying as the nasty balls of fat and hair possibility.
Because I know what a teratoma is: DON’T GOOGLE IT
I used to see them quite frequently. At least the images don't smell.
I think my eyeballs just tried to crawl back up into my head so they could get away from this sentence.
they smell??
Unfortunately yes.
Agreed. And you know what? I think this explains false positives pregnancy scares I had with a super toxic ex gf decades ago in college. She tested positive, then negative a week or two later, multiple times near the end of my dealings with her, when we were still occasionally sexually active and she was on BC we'd been using for years with no scares or issues. And when I finally had a moment of clarity and cut her out of my life for good, she stalked me for quite a long time and would reach out any time she thought she had an excuse. Anyway one of if not the last times I ever heard from her was a bunch of emotional texts and super dramatic voice messages about how doctors think she has a tumor and might have to remove her ovaries, and she can never have children. This sort of puts those puzzle pieces together. But man I can relate to the frustration of a doctor who specializes in female reproductive health, insisting to us that there are no false positives and the only explanation was that she was actually pregnant every time but miscarried between the positive and negative test results, multiple times. While on birth control.
Jesus fucking h Christ that's an utterly shit doctor. I've had miscarriages plural. You don't just have them multiple times on BC and not fucking know. Gah my blood boils.
Yeah, as a guy, do not blame her one iota for suspecting the most obvious man in a scenario she was drunk as well. It happens way too fucking often for it not to be the most obvious (but horrifying) answer.
How heartwarming that her friends didn't resent her for enquiring, too. It would be so panic inducing to be in her situation and they responded with empathy instead of hating her for perceivably thinking of them so awfully. Just so glad she was supported unconditionally throughout this ordeal
The good news being that her friend took her absolutely seriously and did not blow her off. That OOP was still freaked out after that meant that she was severely stressed. There just aren’t that many women who will help their boyfriends commit rape.
I hope they talk it out. Positive pregnancy test with no memory of sex with a penis is a horrifying thought.
Honestly she went at it very balanced. First, asking if they had sex and she didn’t remember it. Being understanding of his being hurt at the suggestion, while also still keeping the possibility he could be lying. Asking the partner, etc. being wary if the possibility of lying from any party throughout the whole thing while also not going scorched earth on anyone. While if i was the guy id also be hurt, but id also understand the accusation if she directly accused me. Honestly i envy her levelheadedness/ability to act in the face of a multi pronged disaster that had so many terrible possibilities
Yeah honestly the least level headed people here were the clinic staff who said that there was zero possibility that she was anything other than pregnant. They should have explained that it was highly unlikely that the tests were wrong, but that if she was absolutely certain, then she should get additional tests immediately (external abdominal ultrasound, transvaginal ultrasound, more extensive bloodwork, etc) and then helped her with what she’d need to get those tests. The OP’s panic could have been greatly mitigated had they given her better information, rather than stating that the only possibilities were that she was lying to them or she’d been raped. Yes those are more likely, but obviously the odds of a medical emergency that presents as pregnancy are nonzero. Had OP not been diligent about getting a second opinion, she could have become very sick, or even died.
Most obvious scenario for what OP describes was a tumor, if I'd seen the original post I would have posted so. Literally read the title and my brain fired off "tumor, go see your doc immediately". You pop positive on a pregnancy test and know you haven't had sex in a while, testing again should be step 1, phoning your doc step 2.
I found it incredibly informative. I had no idea this sort of thing was possible. Hopefully the more we know/learn, the safer we can be!
It’s unfortunate that this apparently isn’t common knowledge. Just mentioned this in another comment a few days ago that pregnancy tests measure hCG levels. Elevated levels are found in 45-60 percent of biliary and pancreatic cancers and in 10-35 percent in most other cancers such as lung breast and prostate. “If a non pregnant person has an elevated hGC or positive pregnancy test she should be evaluated for a tumor”
New fear unlocked
You should look up a picture unless you’re squeamish; teratomas are pretty wild. Bodies are weird! And sometimes VERY weird.
I'm a vet tech and have seen a teratoma in a canine. It was super interesting. Rhodesian Ridgeback came for surgery to remove a mass on the tail that was so large that it was affecting the dog. Cut it out during surgery and there were 2 teeth and black hair inside the mass. We were all speechless until the vet said, "Hot damn, it's a teratoma!"
I’m a vet student and this is giving me more reasons to go into surgery
It was the first surgery I saw during my externship and I was chasing that high the rest if the time lol. I also saw tetanus in a farm dog that same week. I already loved what I learned in school, but I was addicted after that first week of externship.
“Hot damn, it’s a teratoma!” I fucking love when people get to geek out over their jobs.
Hair and teeth……Jesus. I’m incredibly squeamish, and today I learned stupid as well. So that’s cool.
What do I do? I go and had a wee look and duck me sideways, I should not have done that!
I googled when this only had 2 comments and regret immediately followed.
One should absolutely not do this unless they are mentally prepared for something very scary. Like asking about the cum jar scary. Or the cum coconut scary.
Did you have to…?
Absolutely
I didn't find both of them scary, but teratomas are horrifying to me because body horror
Didnt listen, should have, they can have fucking eyes growing in them!!
MedicalXpress)—A team of surgeons performing a routine appendectomy on a young woman also found and removed a tumor they noticed growing on their patient's ovary. Subsequent analysis of the tumor by researchers with the Shiga Medical Centre for Adults in Japan revealed that the tumor contained a teratoma with a brain-like structure along with a partially developed skull bone and hair fragments. They have published their findings in the journal Neuropathology. This was the worst one! It has a brain!
Thanks, I hate it!
I read that some even had a beating heart. Total nightmare material... 😳
Nope nope nope nope
[i’m going to throw up](https://radiopaedia.org/cases/mature-cystic-ovarian-teratoma-floating-ball-appearance)
Whaaaaaat in the actual fuuuuuuck I'm glad I didn't google it so I didn't have to see multiple images, but goddamn that's weird shit, how the hell do we make these things, why are they full of fat and hair balls? These are all rhetorical questions because I did in fact read the page and it says we don't know but WHAT THE FUCK God, now the "this is our son" message cracks me up even more.
I'm not gonna open that link, but these comments explain why they removed the ovary right away. At first I thought it excessive they'd do that, but... Yea docs feel free to remove my brain if you find teeth growing on it.
>Yea docs feel free to remove my brain if you find teeth growing on it Well thanks for THAT, that's almost as good of a mental image as the actual image image.
RIGHT but this was the absolute worst one so now you’ve seen it all lolol. “what the fuck” is the ONLY possible reaction!!!!! and yes the this is our son makes this so much better😂
I don't know, I saw one in someone's back of mouth/throat on google images...
NO THANK YOU
This is a great explanation of a teratoma: > A teratoma is a type of germ cell tumor — a tumor that starts in your reproductive cells like eggs and sperm. Most teratomas are benign (noncancerous), but sometimes they can become malignant (cancerous). >Germ cells are the only cells in your body that can turn into many other types of cells. So, when a tumor starts in your germ cells, it can turn into many different types of tissue. This means teratomas can contain fragments of any body part. Some of the most common structures inside a teratoma include: >- Teeth >- Hair >- Fat >- Muscle. >Less commonly, teratomas can even contain remnants of complex body parts like: >- Liver >- Lungs >- Brain >- Thyroid gland. >It’s even possible to have one with eyes — at least parts of them, including eyeballs. But to date, there’s no record of a teratoma with complete body organs.
I thought teratomas couldn't get more gross until it mentioned that they could contain eyes.
I was more freaked out by the idea of a second brain in my balls. Although, I could get some great jokes in about thinking with my dick.
I had one with hair on my ovary. The seasoned doctor said it was the hairiest thing she ever removed from someone and called it "extraordinary". I mean, I had always wanted to be remembered for something. And now a part of me always will.
If it makes you feel better, the teratomas don't usually come with a positive pregnancy test. Mine sure as hell didn't-- negative pregnancy test the day it was found on the scan and a negative test the day of the surgery to remove it. We all thought it was an ovarian cyst. When they went in, it was a complete surprise. And I was shocked that OOP was told it could take up to 2 weeks to biopsy possible cancer. Mine was given the all clear in three business days. Teratomas are super fucking gross so the pathologist has to test every...tissue type. All I can say is that to this day I'm happy my surgeon showed me the pictures post-op when I was still high.
I’m super weird and gross but I think they are so fascinating. I’d be legitimately upset if an ovarian cyst turned out to be a teratoma and I did not get the opportunity to beg to put it in a jar and keep it.
I want to downvote this for being so gross but you're also very brave to say this out loud so here's the most reluctant upvote I've ever given.
😂I appreciate your reluctant upvote. I love these kind of weird gross things. The human body is so incredible.
I’ve had a couple cancer biopsies. My first was a mole removal. That one was just at the doctors office with a two week turn around. …that turned to 6 weeks because it was being sent to numerous labs because no one knew what the hell it was and all the tests were inconclusive. Then I had a sentinel lymph node biopsy where they took 2 lymph nodes- those results took 10 days to come back. Black Friday they called and told me both nodes had melanoma cells in them and I needed a full axillary dissection. That was scheduled about 3 weeks later and I feel like we knew pretty fast after that the rest were clear but I couldn’t tell you how long that was. After that, I’ve had more in derm office removals that are all generally within the 2 week time frame given. And that “within 2 weeks” has been consistent over 10 years.
Right?
Consider it a life hack! pregnancy test is cheaper than a cancer screening just randomly do one every 6month and boom you have a cheap early warning system! Just mentioned this in another comment a few days ago that pregnancy tests measure hCG levels. Elevated levels are found in 45-60 percent of biliary and pancreatic cancers and in 10-35 percent in most other cancers such as lung breast and prostate. “If a non pregnant woman has an elevated hGC or positive pregnancy test she should be evaluated for a tumor”
I’m a bloke and I am scared for my own imagination ovaries after reading this, fuck cancer
Don't worry, they can occur in the testes too!
Literally all I can think of. Haven't had sex since 2022 and now I have to be afraid of this?!
Shit like this is why I want to go in and get all my inside lady parts removed. I just want to ask my doctor if I can get spayed. (Yes I know there are medical terms it frankly spayed seems more appropriate.)
>I never thought I would be relieved to have a monster tumor with teeth and hair that might be cancerous but I am relieved. I had no idea what a teratoma was so the face I made when I read this part was probably hilarious. I hope OOP is ok!
I had one removed when I was 19: included hair, teeth, and brain matter. I called it my cyst-er.
Hah, nice! I had one removed that was mostly teeth with one eye; I've since named it the Tooth Fairy.
They can have eyes????
My great aunt had one and the doctors that removed it were super excited because they aren't common (or at least not 30/40 years ago). After they took it out, they sent her a bill and she knew from the way they talked, they were going to keep it to study or something. So she told them she wanted it back for religious reasons, to give it a proper burial. They were panicking until she told them it was either that or wave her hospital fees. Guess who didn't have to pay their bill?
Hell yes, go great aunt.
Monster tumor with teeth and hair? That's practically a baby right? /s
Weirdly, it kind of is. The body can do some seriously weird shit sometimes, and a teratoma is a tumor that's sort of like your body trying to make a baby without all the needed data. They're super rare and a puzzle because they really don't know why it happens. Hell, they still don't fully understand why cancer occurs a lot of the time. (Sometimes it's obvious from carcinogens, and sometimes it's "your body got so old it's just doing stupid shit", and sometimes it's just "Dunno, were you abducted by space aliens recently?") And benign tumors? I had one in my leg 30 years ago. We never figured out why I suddenly had a weird mass in my leg that started growing bigger and bigger. I suggested the space aliens theory to my surgeon and I'm probably lucky she didn't call for a psych consult.
Well I talked to my space alien friends and they said the benign tumor had nothing to do with when they kidnapped you.
Dammit... I thought I was on to something.
But did you name the tumour and talk about it as though it was a pet? I had a friend who did that and it was kind of weird until you got used to it (his was malignant though, and did eventually end him).
I did call it Lumpy.
About ten years ago I had a weird tumor on the back of my neck that had to removed. I named it Scrambles the Death Dealer. I wanted to keep it in a jar but the doctors wouldn't let me.
A teratoma can literally have any kind of tissue in it. Teeth, hair, *brains*.
Oh good, and I thought the post was enough body horror for the day. Nope, it was this. This right here.
Sometimes babies are born with a few teeth! I understand it makes breastfeeding supremely unfun!
Even without teeth, the first few days aren't that fun.
The first 7-10 aren't fun, let's be honest. The next +/-300 days aren't fun either, but they're not as horrible as the first week.
Especially when your milk isn't really in so baby is starving, no one knows what to do, and everything is awful from the waist down.
I swear I read about someone whose grandfather was born with teeth and hair on his back, and they barely managed to stop the midwife for calling for an exorcist.
Ooo how much hair? All babies develop a sort of downy layer of hair in the womb and usually lose it shortly after birth. My niece's hair was white and my son's hair was black.
Well at first i thought it was a joke about babies being tumors, then i looked up teratoma
Well…kind of, yeah. It’s not as uncommon as you’d think, to have a parasitic twin. During gestation, one embryo develops, while the other fails to do so. The embryo that develops into fetus will absorb the other. In some cases, just the excess DNA is left behind, creating a chimeric effect. In others, the baby is born with a visible tumor, that ends up being removed. In still others, vestiges are left in random organs, only to turn into a teratoma. Unless something is causing issues, such as jn OOP’s instance, it might never be discovered, or just viewed as a benign tumor.
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Please don't give them anymore ideas!
Just googled "mature teratoma." Ewww.
The funny thing is you’d much rather have a mature one vs the immature one that looks much less gross
How comes? Curious
It is weird! Basically the immature tissue has potential to grow into many different things, and it “wants” to grow and spread like normal immature tissue, making it very malignant. The mature stuff on the other hand just wants to turn into regular (tho gross) stuff like teeth and hair and doesn’t spread (it’s benign!), this also makes it way easier to remove. The cool thing that an happen o. Rare occasion is an immature teratoma straight up maturing into a mature teratoma.
Congrats Nature. You made cancer worse. Somehow.
I've always said that a teratoma is basically when your body wants to make a baby but isn't exactly aware of the consequences of "just making a baby anywhere".
Don’t google it. You will regret it.
Medical stuff can be so scary I don't blame her for panicking. Also shame on that nurse for not only being confidently wrong, but making OOP's panic so much worse
Right? I feel like everyone has forgotten the Terrible Nurse
I think because terrible nurses are so common they’re just part of the set for every medical story where things go terribly wrong
Like Terrible Cops everytime law enforcement is mentioned
So much this. Total asshole. OOP - I can't be pregnant. Nurse - welp, ya are. No other possible explanation. Why are so many healthcare workers like this?
Recently shared a story about getting birth control in a different sub— I am literally infertile and needed it for other reasons, and yet as soon as as healthcare touches woman of reproductive age all the “best practices” are humiliating or controlling in some way. It was extremely jarring to go from an OB/GYN who was super patient and caring and understanding (that I’m post-babies/no babies), to staff being extremely uncaring and actively difficult just because I got dropped into the “pre-babies” gyn pipeline for this one thing. Like, the amount of scorn and judgement that was suddenly directed at me, like I was a stupid teenager who couldn’t keep her legs shut despite being a 30+ foster parent and married, was unreal.
I actually asked one lol. Basically, especially with pregnancy, so many people lie. Teenagers with their parents, cheating partner, people in denial etc. With quick visits, there’s no time to build trust or whatever. It really sucks though
It doesn't excuse it, but statistically speaking it's _much_ more likely that someone is pregnant than a secondary health issue causing a false positive.
Yeah but why state an absolute falsehood? Lying to patients because some patients lie feels punitive.
I actually only blame the nurse like...a medium amount. She's probably heard plenty of students say "there's no possible way" and what they mean is "my boyfriend is using the pullout method" or "I'm unaware that the condom broke" or "I legitimately don't know how babies are made." At a certain point you'd get numb to the protests and trust the information you have.
I was in disbelief at Terrible Nurse, and then I saw Tennessee and it all made sense. >She said false positives aren’t a real thing Just like Covid, I’m guessing.
Well around those parts they seem to also think you can just “pop an ectopic pregnancy into the uterus” so I’m not all that surprised.
Glad she caught it early, teratomas can sometimes cause psychosis
They can? SERIOUSLY? How in the hell? Now I am crazy-curious and have to find out everything about this.
Holy shit. Like 40% with a type of encephalitis with all kinds of horrifying symptoms are women with ovarian teratomas. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23507817/ “ Psychiatric manifestations include anxiety, mania, social withdrawal, and psychosis (i.e., delusions, hallucinations, disorganized behavior). The disorder is more common in females (80%), in approximately half of whom it is associated with an underlying ovarian teratoma.” Oh, and add catatonia and tachycardia! https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28660470/
This is terrifying to read as I have a teratoma that’s been under monitoring for a few years now. The doctors said it’s too small to warrant surgery now and they are fairly certain it’s benign since it’s mature and hasn’t grown
Wow! I’m adding this to my mental list of “causes of old timey ‘hysterics’ in women.”
Edit. Oops, replied to wrong comment. Holy shit. Like 40% with a type of encephalitis with all kinds of horrifying symptoms are women with ovarian teratomas. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23507817/ “ Psychiatric manifestations include anxiety, mania, social withdrawal, and psychosis (i.e., delusions, hallucinations, disorganized behavior). The disorder is more common in females (80%), in approximately half of whom it is associated with an underlying ovarian teratoma.” Oh, and add catatonia and tachycardia! https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28660470/
Teratomas are gross-ass body horror when they *don’t* have a forced-pregnancy scare attached to them. I do vaguely recall reading that complex tumors like that are less likely to be malignant (to spread) than simpler tumors, so that’s good.
Yeah, that’s what really got to me. How many anti-woman states have also passed laws which low them to prosecute women for leaving the state to get n abortion. You’d have to move away. Maybe for years.
These tumors/cysts are tricky things. I went to my OB with complaints, and he said you sound pregnant. I told him I was not pregnant. Something is wrong. He was so adimate that anything outside of pregnancy was highly unlikely. I had to convince him I was not pregnant. Even after finding out I had a huge dermoid cyst he kept saying it would not be responsible for my symptons. Which all cleared up after my surgery. It's so frustrating.
wtf, I'm so sorry! I'm glad it was caught...
as someone who’s worked in the medical field, finding a surprise present in the form of a teratoma has to be one of the scariest things i can imagine
Only one thing scarier: living in a state that will prosecute you for leaving to get n abortion.
I love that her mother was immediately like, "We ride at dawn!"
Award winning mom right there. Makes me a little upset and grateful. Because they're not all good like that
> “this is our son” Love that she had a sense of humor about it all
Legit would have been my response in updating in-group friends and family
DO NOT GOOGLE TERATOMA
I'm gonna call someone an immature teratoma some day. I hope they google it.
TOO LATE. And I was not disappointed
Jfc I didn't listen and I think I vommed a little in my mouth
Too late 😔
Instructions unclear googled it...
>*She said false positives aren’t a real thing* I hate this nurse and I'm totally picturing OOP showing her the results and flipping her off. I'm a cisgender guy who has never studied medicine and even I know there are several ways to give a false positive on pregnancy. Even as a guy. Specially as a guy. Glad everything was okay, and that the friends weren't mad for the accusations
Damn. Good that the friends werent mad. I am also very glad she caught it fairly early possibly. If it is malignant, the sooner its out the better.
Note to everyone who uses BORU as bedtime reading: do **not** Google Image search teratoma. Signed, \-A redditor who made a huge mistake
Thankfully I went in informed, so when I hit "teratoma," I thought "those are the ones with the teeth, right?"
I drink in a basement until the wee hours and have been rendered incapable of feeling, I'm taking the dive. EDIT: Unpleasant but I've seen worse. Two more vodka drinks to forget.
Can you describe it for people who are too scared to Google it? ^(I'm ^the ^people) ETA: Thanks for the answers. They were fascinating and kept getting worse and worse lmao. The latest reply i got, although the most succinct, was the worst one of all for me haha 🥲. I did not expect this at all. Our bodies can do this???
Fleshy sacks that are a jumble of fat, hair, sometimes teeth. I just learned about the 'floating balls' variety, which are literally a pouch of flesh filled with tiny balls of fat, hair, and sebum. They look as horrific as they sound. Goodnight!
Imagine a tumor that bites back when it's being removed.
Tumor growing little parts of people.
Oh my god, this poor girl. What a horrible scare. I went through something VERY similar (surprise tumor on my ovary) and it’s awful! Very very frightening. I wish her all the best.
Mine was cysts and a torn fallopian tube at 13. It a nightmare. Especially when you don't know what it is yet
Cyst the size of a baseball on my ovary that decided to make itself known the day after a colonoscopy. So first I thought something had gone wrong there and then suddenly surprise cyst (worst pain I have ever been in, I know what a ten feels like on the pain scale now). didn’t know that could have maybe caused a positive pregnancy test, I have no clue how I would have reacted (I’m ace, haven’t had sex with someone else, and also had my tubes tied, so I’d have been REALLY confused)
I want another update when she finds out the results.
WTF is up with the nurse claiming that OOP is definitely pregnant because “false positives aren’t a real thing.”
For anyone wondering like OOP: pathology is figuring out whatever it was that was biopsied; e.g. the tissue was benign, cancerous, or pre-cancerous; it’s this specific type of cancer (which helps the oncologist figure out a treatment plan); the kidney stone was formed from these substances (which helps guide diet guidelines for people with frequent kidney stones); etc.
Teratomas are freaky looking and gross, my mom had one. They have hair and teeth!
I’ve had multiple teratomas. One of mine developed functional thyroid tissue and I was hyperthyroid for several months. For someone with Hashimoto’s, that was a trip. I lost an ovary to one at 19 (bastard got so big it spun around and cut off blood supply), had a recurrence on the other ovary a decade later, and still have 2 healthy kids.
Okay but if our bodies can in some super weird circumstances grow tumors with teeth in them.... Is there any way we could trigger that stuff in vitro and grow ourselves replacement teeth? Weird thought process I know. I've just been dealing with shite teeth and dentists my whole life and I just wish I was like a shark and could grow new teeth whenever needed lol.
The nurse who told her false positives aren't a thing... Ugh Sometimes the mean girl to nurse pipeline makes too much sense.
God what a nightmare. I'm happy OOP is ok!
We unfortunately as women need to start sending records of what happened to us to doctors/nurses who misdiagnose us especially when they do it condescendingly. Until doctors/nurses believe us and do everything they can legally/medically/insurance-y to find an answer for us we have to point out when they’re wrong. I think the best option currently is a message through a patient portal if that’s available or a letter (just addressed to the doctor and hand delivered where you were treated). We’d probably need to plainly state when we saw them, symptoms, diagnosis/treatment they gave and then proof of whatever occurred when we went elsewhere. And finish with a strong statement asking them to believe their future patients.
I had a friend, well my daughter’s age and friend, who was brushed off by ER docs for stomach pain. Told her to go to a Gastroenterologist, who told her to eat more fiber. Finally a female ER doc (went back to ER because of pain) and she did an ultrasound and found growths on her ovaries. They operated the next day. Long story short she battled cancer but it spread and she died last year. It was about two years in all. She was 30. She definitely wrote about her experience and let others know.