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So, there was a post on r/parenting earlier today from a Dad whose daughter had been severely bullied by most of her classmates, including repeated suggestions the child - who was 9 years old- kill herself. Dad wanted to know if he should override his daughter’s wishes by engaging the school resource officer. Many of the parents who responded pointed out that bullies are going to continue bullying until they face consequences. Frankly, a side chop to the throat seems like a fucking decent consequence. ETA: [Link to post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/1avp7dm/10_yo_received_serious_awful_texts_the_school/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

Yep. My bullies didn't stop with the physical torment (tripping, kicking, pinching, yanking out chunks of my hair, "accidently" hitting me in the face with a baseball) until I turned and punched one of them in the gut. "Just ignore them and they'll stop" is one of the most asinine pieces of advice ever, closely followed by the much less common "tell them they're not being nice."

I remember back in the 90s (Poland was a pretty dark place back then) around 7-9 years old I was kicked repeatedly by the class mate in the nuts over nothing really, he just tried to be a badass bully. It obviously hurt like hell so I got my shit and I stumbled back home, which was a 5 minute walk from school. At the time my dad was at home after a few days of work at the construction site. And you know the tempers of construction workers. He calmly dressed up and left, came back 30 minutes later and took me to a hospital for a checkup, I was alright. Turns out he burst into the class and yelled "which of you stupid fucks did it so I can show you how a real man fucking fights" and had to he escorted out by a teacher. A few days later I learned about that and how suddenly all the problems I had with them stopped.

My dad is also a former construction worker! An older kid aimed a rubber band at my eye at the bus stop, and my dad went to the school to ask the principal what the consequences would be. He was told it was off school property and nothing could be done. My dad picked up a rubber band off his desk and aimed it at the principal until the principal told my dad a plan he was satisfied with. Not as epic as your dad, definitely.

This is hilarious. This is like a scene out of a dark suburban comedy. A guy who has his kid's principal staring down the barrel of a rubber band like John Wick and Santino at the end of *John Wick 2.*

My dad had his jaw broken playing football at recess. Fresh year high-school in 1960ish. My grandmother went to see the principal and told him she didn't want her son getting hurt at school again. Principal starts with boys will be boys stuff. She take her pistol out of her purse places it onnhis desk and reiterates that she doesn't want her son hurt at school again. Principal quickly agreed with her.

I get Step Brother vibes haha

Like a gag straight out of HBO's Vice Principals.

I love this, lol.

I disagree, this was a baller ass move by your dad. He effectively held your principal at gun point and negotiated a punishment on someone else’s kid, and did it all using only a rubber band. Thats epic as hell

this story gave me the warm fuzzies

Still pretty damn cool.

Not as epic but hilarious af. I’m dying at the mental image.

When I was 7, a boy stole my shoes on the playground and threw them into nettle bushes while laughing at me. I came home barefoot and crying. My dad took me back to the playground, calmly asked this boy to take off his shoes, took them from the boy, threw one into the nettles, presented the other shoe and said: "You'll get this one back if you go in and get your other shoe and my daughters shoes out of the nettles. I've never felt more like a f*ing princess than in this very moment. It was one of the last things he did for me before he died of cancer.

I know you love and miss your dad so much, and now all of us do too.

I'm 33 and still miss him every day. He was intelligent, adventurous, kind, strong, patient, emotionally attentive and had my back every time I needed him. He was a gem to me.

God bless your Dad ❤️

When u was 12 I was being bullied mercilessly by 2 huge boys who were older than me and played football. (I was a scrawny girl with glasses and a speech defect). I would go home in tears--with paint in my hair, coat torn, books ruined; and my dad said, "I don't hit kids. But your brothers do." My brothers were 5 and 9 years older than me and worked at the sawmill. The "chatted" with my bullies after school one day, then taught me how to throw a punch. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

Damn, props to your dad.

Ahhh, Eastern European fathers... so much trauma not dealt with but they try their best to protect us and keep us safe.

He was born in 43', let that sink in. I think that's one of the few things he did right by me in his whole life. Being a functioning alcoholic and all that. Haha.

I can only imagine that some kids needed to change their underwear and pants that day.

I just have this image of a hardy Polish construction worker bursting in to a classroom, pointing at random 8 year old boys and shouting "KURWA" at each of them. Please tell your dad that his outburst from 30+ years ago gave me a right old chuckle.

I could guess that a few kids learned that word that day hehe

I got severely bullied in school, told to unalive myself the whole 9 yards My dad went to the principal when I finally found the courage to tell my parents I only know this second hand, but apparently the principal was all like “there is no bullying at our school bla bla bla” and was supported by the vie principal My dad completely went of on them and screamed that woman into the ground Shortly after she went on longterm sick leave for burn out I switched school and to this day wish I could have been a fly on the wall

[удалено]

Yeah, both my brother and I learned that the bullies tend to back off after you fuck them up. Strange how that works.

It's all fun and games until the victim decides to swing back. It reminds me of of a concept I heard from child abuse victims. Especially male child abuse victims. "The last time he/she beat me." It basically revolves around the idea that beating children is an easy control tactic for abusive parents. But eventually, the child will grow up. And then once they are bigger and stronger than their abuser (usually not very fit mothers or sedentary fathers) they have a pivotal moment where they realize they aren't so weak that they *have* to take it anymore. And then they have the moment where they hit their abuser back. Usually very brutally. And then the dynamic instantly switches from "small child who is always beaten by their parent" to "smaller adult trying to punch up at their victim." "The last time he/she beat me" usual ends up being a crossroads moment. Where the grown child choses between trying to leave, or continuing to accept the verbal/emotional aspect of the abuse. But with the abuser understanding that for the first time, the grown child has a boundary that can't be crossed. And it's sometimes the first time the child feels any kind of empowerment in their situation. It's fascinating though from a non-domestic point of view. For the parent-child abuse, the parent tensely tries to maintain control emotionally. But for a school bully situation, they're forced to give up and acknowledge they aren't as powerful as they thought.

My dad did this, and then I did years later. He was 16 when he realized he was bigger and stronger than his POS grandfather. Punched him and the old man stopped. I actually warned my mom when I was 17. She beat me one night and the next day was sobbing and apologizing like “I’ll never do it again baby!” I told her that’s right, she won’t, because next time I’ll hit back. Took her a month until she slapped me across the face. I hit her back and funny enough, she never slapped me again. I don’t usually tell this story to people because I’ve had people react like I’m a terrible person. “That’s your mom!” Well, I’m her daughter and I revoked her right to hit me.

Good on you! I'm sorry you and your dad went through any of that. I hope you are both in a better place now.

I knew a guy who had a very similar one, he was 15 when he realised he was bigger and stronger than his dad, and when his dad came in threatening to kill him, he took it seriously, and broke the guy's leg pretty badly. Good for him & good for everyone who stands up to people like that! I wish I had the chance with my brother but unfortunately we're adults and he's still a foot taller than me!

This reminded me of the time my mom started pushing and shoving me when she was drunk/high. I was about 16 when I finally had enough and pushed her away from me. She nearly fell on her ass and acted so shocked and hurt when I didn't let her keep attacking me. They're always so shocked when you fight back.

My Dad liked to beat me with his thick leather belt, and I took it for years until one day when I was 13 or 14 and started kicking the shit out of him when he tried to do it again. He staggered back in shock and grounded me for a month, but he never put his hands on me again.

My mother was never physically abusive outside of a few spankings, only emotionally and mentally abusive, but I will always remember the day that she said to me "I ought to slap your head into the wall" when she got mad about something. She is five foot nothing and under 100 pounds, and I was probably like 5ft10 and 120lbs, and I had never stood up to her before. I looked her dead in the face and said "Do it." No emotion, just flat. I would never have hit her back, I would have taken it if she'd done it, but she stopped. She never ever threatened me like that again. Silent treatment continued until I moved out, but the shift in the power dynamic was there. She knew if she did that she couldn't win - whether she thought I would hit back I don't know (and I don't think I'll ever ask, there's no point; she probably doesn't even remember that moment) - but whatever it was, she knew there was no coming back after it.

This is such an insightful comment! I was in this situation for much of my childhood and this really hit home

Heard. My mother was physically abusive towards me. She'd call it discipline. I disagree: using whatever is closest to you, be it a metal coat hanger or a [belt with metal conchos](https://hoelsindianshop.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/p-4108-rockinghorseranchbelt3.jpg), is not discipline. Bleeding is not discipline. By 18, I knew that I was a lesbian. I never told my mother, but she knew. I wore a band on my ring finger to signify my commitment to my girlfriend at the time. One afternoon, I had set it on the bathroom sink to wash my hands and forgot to put it back on. Later in the evening, I noticed and remembered taking it off to wash my hands. I go back to grab it and it's not there. Fast-forward, my mother had gone out to the bar that night and never leaves until close. After she gets home, she drunkenly approaches me and wiggles her fingers; my ring is on her pinky. I said, "Can I have my ring back, please?" She says, "Why do you want it back?" I reply, "Because it's my ring." (I think her drunk brain thought she'd get me to say it was a commitment ring for another female... come out to her.) She said something like, "No, I think I'll keep it." My brain is rushing at this point because I'd never stood up to my mother. We're both looking each other in the eye. I said, "No, you won't." She said something along the lines of, "You're gonna have to get it." I calmly walked up to her and grabbed her wrist to take the ring off. Gentle grab, nothing forceful. As soon as I put my thumb and middle finger on the ring to pull, she makes a fist. She just starts laughing and trying to break that hand free. She starts trying to fight me. I don't even fight back. I grab both wrists and push them together. Using my hold on her wrists, I slowly lower her onto the floor. I put my knee on one wrist, take my ring off of her, then literally, run away as quick as I could so she couldn't hit or kick me. Literally the last time we were ever physical. She learned that I was easily stronger than her. Sidenote: I don't take a ring on my ring finger off for anything anymore. (Except breakup... definitely take it off after a breakup...) TLDR: Mother was physically abusive until the day she was so easily dominated that I didn't even have to hurt her. And rings don't leave my fingers anymore.

My brother transferred schools mid year. His new school had a kid known to be the school bully. The first day at the new school the bully came after him. My brother knew he was going to get his ass kicked but he figured out some of his punches would hurt the bully. Sammy (the bully)ended up being my BIL. He and my brother were close friends until Sammy died of n a kayak accident.

Sounds like your brother played the long game. Pretty suspicious that he became "best friends" with his bully who then died years later in a kayaking accident.

My little bro was badly bullied in school as a kid - my parents kept going to the teachers but nothing changed. They kept telling him to just ignore the bullies. Me and my other bro (we're over 10 years older) kept trying to teach my lil bro how to defend himself, ya know? We taught him some comebacks and insults that he could yell at the bullies, cos sometimes, embarrassing them works as well as punching them, and doesn't get you into as much trouble.

I spent morning attendance being spat in the hair by the bully standing behind me. At least that it was it felt like. I kept ignoring it until I broke and then I screamed and hit him and broke down crying. This was after years of bullying from this kid. About a year after that his bullying got so bad that I literally saw red and tried to kill him. I am pretty sure that if some other kids hadn't held me back I would have killed him. The other kids said that they were really scared for him, because I looked crazy when I chased him. He didn't bother me after that.

I was horribly bullied in middle school, including being stabbed in the side with a screwdriver. I couldn’t fight back for myself for beans— I wasn’t of the mindset that I could fight back for myself. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But then my bullies went after my best friend, a boy named Jacob. Jacob had Tourette’s syndrome. My bully was making fun of him while Jacob wasn’t there, one day and I just sort of snapped. I’d hit my growth spurt early, you see. I was a head taller than the boys my age. I palmed my bully’s head and slammed him against the wall like a basketball. The wall was wood backed by concrete. I’m pretty sure he got a concussion. Between that and me throwing a boy for knocking over another friend of mine, who had a spiked leg brace from leg extension surgery, my bullies learned that I had hard limits. Like you, I was told I was more than a little terrifying when pissed.

I have a similar, MUCH smaller scale story that my parents still like to tell. In kindergarten, when I was about 4 years old, I had a bully. It was known to everyone involved, he used to throw sand at me and push me down the stairs. When I came home with bruises and my parents asked the teachers, their response was that the bully has a crush on me, and just doesn't know how to show it. And obviously they refused to do anything since it's "just a cute little crush". Any attempts to teach me to stand up for myself failed as well- I was a shy and gentle kid (and have always been very underweight, so also very short and small compared to the bully). I was so tiny and had bright blond hair and cute animal shirts, I probably looked like the least intimidating child ever. My older brother was in a judo class, and one time while playing he taught me how to do the most basic attack- the one where you use your leg to pull the opponent's leg and make him fall. I never even thought of using it against my bully- I was a gentle kid. But then one day while my parents picked me up, they told me that the teacher was beaming and very excited to tell them what happened today. Apparently the bully didn't like the fact that I wasn't giving him any attention, so he decided to pick on my best friend- big mistake. Up untill then I gave absolutely no sign of being able to even think about violence, but the teacher told my dad how mad I got, and how I yelled at the bully that if he didn't leave my friend alone, I would do a zudo on him! Well, apparently he didn't believe me. According to my teacher, this kid, who was at least 1.5 heads taller than me and much bigger, was on the floor less than 2 seconds later. He left my friend alone after that.

“Do a zudo” is absolutely adorable. I hope you kept your sense of justice!

That teacher had no business being around kids.

This internet stranger loves you. I was also horribly bullied throughout 12 years of public school and into college for being the fat, weird girl with ADHD. No one, teachers, parents or otherwise, ever stood up for or defended me. The best I got at home was "just ignore it, they'll go away." Those kids will never forget what you did. 👏👏👏

Fat, weird, autistic girl who didn’t do well with noises and bright lights and was in remedial math and advanced/honors social studies and language arts. Too smart for the dumb kids, too dumb for the smart kids. When I smacked the guy, my vice principal said in an aside to my mother, “she can’t do that again, but I’m so glad she finally fought back.” Have some internet stranger love back. We didn’t deserve what we got.

I got bullied so badly that I became notorious Finally we moved to the next grade and by that another school so I thought I would get away and start fresh. But while my old school got split up some of the kids ended up in my new school. They started it all over again. This guy learned a out it and he just thought it was funny. He took it to an extreme. He would follow me home, wait for me between classes. Anything I had He wanted for himself. I was starting to feel trapped. One day I was upset already. He pulled my chair out from under me and I saw red. I just attacked him. I think the only reason I won was because he wasn't expecting me to fight back and the other kids on the class were so surprised they piled around us cheering me on. Fucking turn coats. The teacher, no better who let me get bullied in her class sent us to the principal where I broke down and literally my life changed from there. The boy got beat by the principal this was in the Caribbean in 2001 so corporal punishment was still a thing, he also got suspended. I got sent home cause I word vomited to the principal and she asked me why didn't I tell her before but like I told teachers and they didn't do anything which made it worse. The person who took me home was a man who was married into my family so he was the brother of my cousins husband. In the car he told me he had been watching the abuse that was going on at school and he didn't understand why no body was helping me there or at home. He had an opportunity for me. He was going to send someone else but he will offer it to me instead. I can go to Canada and escape this place. Here I am now lol also because I fought back everyone started treating me better. Telling me they were waiting for me to stand up for myself . They were the ones that didn't bully me but didn't talk to me or acknowledge me either. I thought to myself fuck you all you could have helped me but now you want to talk to me? I can't wait to leave this place and never see you people again.

My eldest faced a pretty severe bullying situation from a kid in kindergarten last year. Yes, *kindergarten*. It was badly handled by the damn school staff, especially the main teacher and principal. I finally snapped and said "baby, you're in the top 90th percentile for height. (At 6 shes over 4'3")You TOWER over this kid. Punch her hard. She hits you again? Deck her. I'll deal with the aftermath. Your safety is more important. " she wouldn't. My kid who can wrestle her little sister into next week, is too scared of getting into trouble and wouldn't touch this kid. So i told her to scream. "If she hits you or gets near you, scream as loud as you can. " that worked. Until she snuck up behind my kid and socked her in the stomach during gym. 2 months of placating from the teachers and id had enough. We demanded a meeting from the principal, because clearly timeouts for this tiny brat did nothing. He made this girl apologize to my daughter in his office with her social worker present. And i was NOT present. I live *four houses* from the school. Fucking bullied my daughter to accept the worthless apology, which did *nothing* btw, and called me *after*. I was pissed. But he wouldn't do more than make sure my kid and several other victims of hers weren't in her class the next year. Zero tolerance school my ass.

Pretty sure "zero tolerance" secretly means "zero tolerance" for kids with a backbone.

Zero tolerance just means you have every motivation to do as much damage as you can in one single fight as opposed to letting the bullying continue. If you ever are caught getting bullied, you're going to get suspended anyways even if you didn't defend yourself because "zErO tOlErAnCe". Many kids figure you may as well go for the eyes and balls the first time you have the chance, because otherwise the zero tolerance policy means they'll keep getting in trouble for stuff they never did.

Zero tolerance isn't meant to stop bullying. It's meant to stop the reporting of bullying. If you punish victims for fighting back or speaking up, they will suffer in silence and you won't have to acknowledge that it's happening. It's better for metrics.

It's meant to deflect lawsuits, that's it.

What everyone is missing here is the rest of the sentence: "Zero tolerance for bullying we can see and have to deal with the consequences of." If there are no bruises and no one has evidence of physical injury on school grounds, it didn't happen. Half of them are too busy playing on their phones when it is their turn to supervise, the rest are a mix of willful ignorance and only focusing on the main cluster of kids ie the majority of kids on the jungle gym or whatever, not the small groups that go off by themselves where the bullying happens.

From age 6 to age 11, I was always the smallest kid in the class, so fighting back then wouldn't have worked in my favor. I got my adolescent growth spurt early, went from the smallest to the tallest for a few months, and that was when I punched the brat in the belly. In retrospect doing it in front of the principal's office wasn't the best choice, but when it's forced on you, you take action. That week of suspension was heaven!

My bully was mouthing off one time, and I straight out told him, "You're not going to do anything." "What makes you so sure of that?" "We're standing right in front of the office. Even *you* aren't that dumb."

I was the smallest but I learned the value of a good punch in the diaphragm early.

Zero tolerance until the victim reliates

Yeah. I was very sternly told that I was never to "cause trouble". My family was mentally abusive to me, so when I was 10 & the kids threw rocks at me my mother asked, "what did you do to make them do that to you". I knew if I'd decked one of the bullies I would be tortured worse at home. So I never did, and everything got disgustingly worse. Especially when the we/the school found out I was bipolar. The stigma in the early 80s was bad, the medication not tested enough. I'm still messed up about it all decades later.

Are you me? That is my story. Finally, junior/senior year of high school, I had a handful of friends. But it was a long haul until then. And always, always, "What did you do? You always do something. Why should I bother to help you? You should help yourself." <-- all from my mother.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You deserve better.

Im with you and have heard the why did you do that line

Oh, yes, heard that from the school principal. "What did you do to those boys to make them mad at you?" What I could not tell him then was *I existed.* I got better grades than any of them, so I was living proof that mere possession of a penis did not convey superior intelligence as well.

I had my two uncles teach me how to fight and punch when I was like 8/9? because of bullying. My mum did not believe in the ignoring thing at all thank god. When I was 6-7 this girl would always thump me in maths class and I just grinned and bear(ed?) it until I did it back to her even harder. Obviously she started crying, I got sent to the headmaster, my mum high fived me and took me out to the cinema! No way in hell should victims of bullying just sit down and take it... everyone should have a backbone and the power to self defence!

The past tense of “bear” (to tolerate, or to carry) is “bore” - it’s the same declension as wear (as in to wear clothes or to erode a riverbank).

Thank you omg I was really going through it trying to figure out the past tense spelling. Brain fart kinda morning 😭😭😭

Mine stopped when I absolutely annihilated their balls. And I swear if I ever hear another adult say to a bullied child, "They just like you"...I will loose my freaking mind.

Bullied K-2, then 7-12 (switched schools for 3-6 which made things better, but small town meant I didn’t have other options). My parents were ineffectual at stopping the bullying, one of my dad’s older brothers was visiting and heard what was going on and coached me through “grab hold of their shoulders then lift your knee sharply twice. First will hit their balls and double them over, second will hit their nose and show everyone what happened.” I think he offered to buy me icecream the next time he saw me if I used the move while being bullied. I happened to know the school rules and procedures extremely well, which was serendipitous for a younger sibling when they were being bullied. Unfortunately for them they were targeted by teachers and administrators. Unfortunately the administration had all changed since I had been at the school so didn’t know me… but the front office staff did. Office staff saw me walk in with a pleasant smile on my face and ducked for cover (after giving me a *little* information). First: sibling suspended for a week (parents were away, I was guardian but couldn’t do much without more evidence and my parents in the room), second: admin insisted on a meeting before sibling could return to school. Parents got home (one of their parents were in a bad way in hospital and ended up dying, which was another reason I didn’t need the school trying to contact them complaining) and went off at my sibling because “teachers know best”. I ended up going off at my parents and telling them I *would* be at the meeting since I was the guardian at the time of suspension, I had been the one assisting with the school work that had been sent home and I knew a hell of a lot more than they did about rules and procedures at that school. During the suspension work was sent home and back to school via another sibling. I quizzed that sibling as to whether they had collected *all* the work assigned and returned *all* the completed work the same way. That gave me my evidence. Day of the meeting I am told to “keep your damn mouth shut unless there is a major issue we are overlooking” by my parents. I agreed with a smile that had the office staff ducking for cover and giggling. Parents predictably nod along to all the allegations the principal is levelling at sibling, while glaring at sibling for misbehaving. Then the principal makes their fatal mistake: they rant about how sibling even refused to do the work sent home by certain teachers. I ask them to retrieve the “suspension work book”. It was a bound ledger style book where every single item of work assigned to a suspended student is recorded: who assigned it, who collected it, who returned it, who marked it. My parents didn’t know about this book. Principal seemed shocked I was insisting on seeing the evidence but collected the book, slammed it down on the table, snarled at me “my teachers don’t lie” then muttered “oh shit” and *attempted* to close out the meeting immediately. I say attempted because I refused to allow them to walk away without explaining exactly what was recorded in the book. When they kept trying to sidestep my questions (to the other staff they had in the meetings’ confusion) I explained, loudly, that the teachers who complained about no work being done by sibling during the suspension *had not assigned work for them to do*. Said that I was the one sitting beside sibling every day of the suspension ensuring the work was done and the *only* work that was not completed was assigned by their science teacher, which required a fully equipped laboratory, and the science teacher was made aware and was apologetic that they didn’t have alternate work for that week. The school decided it was in their best interests to lose my family’s phone numbers unless they were trying to communicate positive messages

You. I like you.

I'm pretty sure "Just ignore them and they'll stop" was invented by bullies.

Never worked for me! Clawing their faces, however, did. Pretty sure I was a cat in a past life.

Violence isn't the answer, but sometimes it's the question and sometimes the answer is "yes".

My daddy said "Never start a fight, but if you're ever pushed into one, make sure to win. Fight as dirty as possible." I didn't start that fight when I punched the bully in the gut. She'd just sneaked up behind me and yanked out a thick strand of my hair, and my scalp was bleeding. The school didn't see that as "striking the first blow." I did.

Yup. I was bullied from second grade until 9th, when I finally punched the main bully in the face. I got into zero trouble since the administrator who witnessed it hated that fucker almost as much as I did, and it was obvious that it was provoked. Why none of the adults who witnessed it intervened while they were watching me begin bullied, though...

I was bullied relentlessly for years at my school (verbally, any time a teacher wasn't present), and I followed the "ignore them and they'll get stop" idiocy until one day I got so fed up I screamed at them to fuck off. Everything I'd been told by adults had me believe that that was a huge mistake and things would now escalate... But it all stopped. The very next day we stood outside a classroom waiting for the teacher to let us in, which was one of those prime moments for teasing and torment, and another kid (who had never bullied me), came up to start chatting with me. And the bullies didn't say a word. It was in one way wonderful and in another frustrating to realise I could have stopped it years ago by just getting loud and confronting them.

My bully and her idiot group of friends didn’t stop for years until I slammed the locker door into her face the way she was constantly slamming her locker door into my head. Unfortunately my locker was directly below hers.

A kid was doing that type of stuff to my son, and others, so I eventually told him if the kid touched him again he should punch him in the face - hard - and keep punching until the kid begged him to stop. I told the school principal that’s what I’d done and that he should feel free to let the kid’s mother, who I knew to be decent but ineffective, know. Principal told me the school had been anticipating that very situation and that if the time came that a child did ‘snap’ then that child could expect leniency. I don’t generally condone violence, and the message must have gotten through because it never came to that, but a good beatdown usually makes a bully back off. OP and their kid handled this just right.

I accidentally broke a bully back in middle school. This kid transferred in and he was the most arrogant, mouthy, cocky little shit and he decided that he "didn't like the way I looked." I tried to just let it slide and not do anything but after school one day a big group of us were walking home and I got hit in the back of the head. I turned around and gave that kid a stupid beating. I had him on the ground and had to switch to hammering his face because my knuckles hurt so bad from punching him. We both had long hair at the time and he grabbed ahold of mine so I grabbed his and hit his head off the concrete a couple times. Just savage, it felt like a movie beat down to my preteen dumb ass. That was my first ever "real" fight and I just went feral on him while a couple dozen other kids watched him get completely bitched up. After awhile my own friend pulled me off of him, apparently he didn't have any there. Ever since then, all the way through highschool, that kid was the most shy and meek person you could imagine. Didn't talk to hardly anybody and certainly didn't try to bully anybody else. That wasn't at all my intention but I guess it worked out for the best. Sorta. I have no idea what he was thinking because, as I later found out, I wasn't all that good at fighting. He must have just been even more shit at it than I was, which is fine but it doesn't make a lot of sense to go starting shit when you've got nothing but a mouth.

> This kid transferred in and he was the most arrogant, mouthy, cocky little shit and he decided that he "didn't like the way I looked." Funny alternate theory: What if he was shy, and meek at his old school and was like "I know what I'll do, I'll go up to the biggest guy in the prison and beat him up so no one else messes with me!" and his plan completely failed.

The one and only time my dad ever hit someone in his life, it was the school bully, and he'd been watching her plough through the school for months with no teacher intervention, moving on to new victims whenever she got bored. Being an analytical kid (and possibly in retrospect, ASD), he'd used the time to think about what all her other victims did/didn't do and what her response was, and the very first time she decided to target him, he punched her. She got a busted lip, he got a cut knuckle (and a caning from the school) - and she never bullied anyone again as far as he knew.

> "Just ignore them and they'll stop" I think the reality behind that "advice" is "Just ignore them and I won't have to deal with it"

I started learning some martial arts, and first day back after summer break I snapped a standing kick into a locker door right next to where one of the bullies stood, put a dent in it. No body fucked with me after that other than the teachers, who were worse bullies than the kids most of the time.

Yup. My bully spent years taunting me and pushing me around... I went to teachers about it, but nothing actually changed until I'd finally had enough and my knee wound up in some very sensitive areas. No regrets.

my bully in middle school cut my hair, which i was growing out past my shoulders for the first time in my life, and she coloured on my hair with sharpie. there was a lot of other times and things she bullied me but the hair always stuck out to me despite that being so long ago.

So true! I can't tell you how many times I was fed that line!!! Until I had my step bro around it was so bad, especially in the larger school. There at least I had a group of friends to hide behind (was beaten bad by bio mother so I was was an easy target who didn't fight back). In MS I was an absolute doormat. HS was mostly better In HS 1 kid never really messed with me after I used my nails to mark his arm up... he bled a bit for his refusal to let me go (bear hug and stuff like that terrified me PTSD that wasn't diagnosed yet)... Well and my older step bro pinned him against the locker by his throat that day or a day later. Bro hadn't been told about what happened but maybe he recognized my marks 🤣. When stressed I had a bad habit of accidentally marking myself with my own "claws." Either way that kid never did that crap again. Hell, people didn't really try that crap with me again... The actual touching me bullying... just hit with rulers on the back of my head or in the face with folders hard. Principal HATED my brother so he never did anything about it. I think classmates started to realize I wasn't quite okay and they started sticking up for me... At least that's how it looks now in retrospect. I'll never forget the one though, we lost him too freaking soon. I went to that school in elementary before I moved to a neighboring town for MS and I came back for HS. We were just over 30 students so we all grew up together as kids to adults.. Some seemed to have caught on to my damaged mind more than others. I think that's why HS it was the upperclassmen that did the most bullying. Marked up kid didn't know me from El and was in my class so he probably didn't see the signs. Grateful for my MS friends and extended family aka my HS classmates who were more perceptive than me.

>Principal HATED my brother so he never did anything about it. All bullying aside, I will never understand why school faculty treat younger sibs as an extension of the older sibs. I was a ridiculously good kid, quiet, bookish, the word one teacher used was "dainty"--any other girls with ASD relate?--and my younger sis was kind of a brat who would've gotten away with anything short of murdering a teacher in the hallway because no one believed her capable of any such thing, not on her merits but because she was related to me. Seriously--in HS, a generally hard-assed VP asked why she was in a hallway during class, and she answered "cutting" and somehow got away with that. But the down side for her was that they all expected academic perfection from her, beyond what would usually be expected of the bright honors student she was.

I was chased by my bullies, and they finally cornered me in the middle school cafeteria.  They stopped bullying me after that because - being tall, being physically dense - I fell on one of them after being punched, she fell into a cafeteria table and broke her arm in two places.  I got suspended for being jumped. But at least I had use of both arms.

Oh yeah, never worked to just ignore it. Bullying only stopped for me when I hit a hard growth spurt before any of them, grade 6-8 I grew to a little over 6 feet tall, and had about a foot on a lot of them. They got real quiet after that.

I always told my kids; don’t start a fight but defend yourself and you make sure you finish it. I don’t do this whole “no violence” if someone is threatening my kids.

Yep, that's what my dad taught me. He went a step further and told me that if I really needed to stop somebody from bullying me or to get away from someone, I should kick them in the knee with as much force as I could. He said, assuming I connected properly, best case scenario they're hurting enough that they're done for the moment, worst case scenario their knee is trashed. I only had to use that lesson once. A bully kept pushing me down, tripping me, smacking me in the head. I warned him twice, and the third time I turned and kicked him in the side of the knee and he went down crying. Similar to OP story, my mom threatened the school when they wanted to suspend be, and they backed down. And dad was happy I listened. The kid never fucked with me again.

That’s funny, my dad always told me the same advice. “Don’t start a fight but you sure as hell finish it if you have to”.

i was *severely* bullied as a kid, and everyone turned a blind eye to it. my mom used to beg me to hit the kids, just once, and she'd find the money to take me out for those three suspension days and us to have a fun time. looking back i wish i had hit back just once, it would have stopped that shit. "just ignore it! they just want a reaction!" no, they do not. they're doing it (often) to bond with the other bullies.

I had to get my son transferred in middle school. My son was tall for his age, and a little scrawny kid just decided to pick on him, I think because he knew if my son retaliated, it would look like my son was picking on the class runt. My son was frustrated, the principal did nothing, but we were able to have my son moved to another school, a better school, both academically and manager-wise.

My son was bullied by the class runt age 5, we spoke to his teacher about it and all she said was, Im old school, what happens in the playground stays in the playground. Thanks Mrs Hulton, we understand the brief…Told my kid he’s allowed to defend himself, next time it happened he just pushed the kid down and he left him alone, tried to bully my sons friend, same thing.

My son was youngest in his class, and largest (same as I was actually) and this little runt was picking on him around 5th or 6th grade. He got fed up, grabbed the pipsqueak by the throat and slammed him into a locker and just held him there and said next time instead of holding him, he'd beat him until he felt like stopping. And that was that.

Oh man I was that kid in elementary school. It wasn't bad enough that I had to change schools but I remember the utter frustration where every situation was somehow my fault and I had absolutely zero ability to defend myself. The only time I dared even threaten retaliation i ended up in the principals office. I hope your son's doing better.

Our son (many yrs ago) made it to purple belt in kung fu. It's always, always taught in class to defend yourself, never be the antagonist. This is for defense only. We've also told him no one has a right to put hands on you. He was almost suspended in elementary school with a no bullying policy, which is a joke, for defending himself against a bully after months of putting up with it. My son tried to ignore it until it got physical. Principal meeting was basically a shit show of blowing smoke up my ass which I shut down. He wasn't suspended after I explained through gritted teeth and barely contained rage that my son was allowed to defend himself from physical attacks and their no bullying policy was basically to turn a blind eye, didn't see it, didn't happen.

It took me basically attacking three guys at once when our recess period was ending to get them to finally stop bullying. Course it probably helped this was towards the very end of the school year and I shot up like a weed over the summer.

So was I. And your description of why they're doing it is absolutely spot on. I'm absolutely, 100% certain that if I'd responded like the kid in this at the earliest opportunity, I'd have had a much easier time in school. As it stands, though, the school was pretty crap and I was moved somewhere much better, so perhaps it's better it worked out how it did!

do you know why just about every adult except my mom said to ignore them? just not wanting to deal with it? generational difference (i'm 29)?

I'm a bit older than you, but not so much that our teachers would have been a completely different generation. While I suspsect there may be some truth to the old adage "they're looking for a reaction" (and that's how they bond - several of them laughing over the reaction. Quite often a bully will be a completely different person when they're not with their friends) - this omits one vital piece of information that if you haven't been through it, you might not know. The sort of person who does that is an absolute expert in spotting the tiniest reaction. A flicker of an eyelid can be enough. And once they've identified their victim, they'll keep going until they get a reaction. Unless the victim happens to be (literally) a stone statue, they'll get a reaction of some sort. The best thing to do as the victim is - yeah, sure, give them a reaction all right. Give them a reaction they don't want to see twice. If you've ever had a puppy, you'll know they sometimes act up and they need to be quite firmly put in their place - and if there's an older dog in the household, sometimes the older dog will do this. It isn't cruel to the puppy to do this; it's a necessary part of growing up. I wonder if perhaps we're not so different to animals.

My mum told me that 'at least they are bullying something strong, if they don't bully you they might bully someone weaker who can't take it'

i'm so sorry. that's a lot to put on a kid.

That's what happened to my daughter she kept letting this little girl hit her and the teachers did nothing. So I finally told her the next time you come home and tell me she hit you and you didn't do anything back you're gonna be in trouble. She wasn't scared of the little girl or anything, she was just really nice and just let her hit her. So she finally started sticking up for herself. She's taught to never hit unless they hit you first. I've been called from the principals office twice this year and the first thing they tell me is daughter isn't in trouble but we had a situation. It's always these girls provoking and provoking my daughter until she finally hits back and beats the kid up. Last time 3 girls cornered her in the bathroom trying to fight her and she told the teacher because the last time it was in the bathroom too and the principal told her well you should have told us. So she told them the second time it happened, then the next day the girl was arguing with her saying hit me hit me getting in her face and my daughter walked away and the girl hit her from the back as she was walking away. Then my daughter went at her, but the principal said you know better you shouldn't have went over to where she was. I was so pissed. This principal is another thing I need to deal with but I feel so much better knowing that no one is going to hurt my daughter and if they try they will be the ones who end up hurt.

My mom mercilessly bullied a classmate during middle school, and one day that girl had had enough and beat my mom's ass. After that day, my mom left her alone and never bullied another person again. Sometimes you have to answer bullies back in the only language they understand.

The only thing that stopped me getting bullied in middle school, after years of being told by the school I couldn't do anything, was me pushing the kid after he tried to attack me into a table and him knocking over a $1200 trombone and it getting dented and bent. They tried to pin it on me, but luckily other kids backed up my story. I doubt his parents liked that repair bill because the bullying magically stopped. About half a year later he got put into the hospital with serious head trauma after he got into a fight with some older guys at a skatepark after he was picking on one of their younger siblings. Really mellowed out after that.

Finding out that there's always a bigger fish will do that.

I teach 3's and I had one kid who was biting and one who was hitting. Consequences are redirecting, time out, parent talks.  One day, D bites L on the arm, hard. L punches D right in the chest, hard. Both boys broke down sobbing and after that the hitting and biting basically stopped. 

Honestly, I taught my son similar to OOP. He was getting bullied when he started school because he was so much bigger than everyone else (he’s now 6’5 and just turned 16, so growing to go). I told him to use his words, to go to the teachers, to start yelling “stop hurting me” if they kept it up until adults intervened, but if the adults didn’t intervene and the kids kept hurting him, to pick one and punch him straight in the nose. Then we spent every morning on the way practicing punching. They stopped within a year. He was never suspended because I told the principal that if no one else is going to stop it and defend him, he’s allowed to defend himself.

We taught all of ours how to throw a punch. My husband always said aim for the solar plexus because it’ll stop the fight with doing anyone too much damage. I’ll take the suspension any day over my kid getting hurt.

Poor kid thought it would be a harmless prank because he wiped the peanut butter off. He could have literally killed a child with a more severe allergy. One of the mom's in my old neighborhood/school was considering home school because her daughter went into anaphylaxis from touching a door knob that may have had peanut contamination (it was the best the school could come up with because they already had allergy free tables and strict protocols for her particular class, still not enough). Changing schools is probably life alterting at that age, but not as much as watching the ambulance take away a lifeless body.

Most schools in Ireland and the UK will just have a no-peanuts policy for the whole school if a child is allergic. Making certain tables allergen free isn’t enough.

My grandpa told my mum "if someone hit You, take a stick and hit back". It was in late 50s, she was 8 or so. My mum wore glasses and was bullied because of it. My mum did exactly as she was told. She did it till she was 12 or so to everyone to even tried to do anything to her and then only assaulted some assholes who grabbed her. She's a feminine, thin, small woman, now in her 70s, who can be fucking scary because of the attitude she has. She has it because her daddy told her she has the right to strike back. So You are right - there is nothing better against a bully than a good placed hit.

My dad's advice was always "pick up a stick or a brick or whatever, I don't care how big they are don't just take it." It was weird growing up with him and my mom, if she found out that I was in a fight at all then I would be in trouble. If he found out that I *lost* a fight then I'd be in trouble.

My nephew was bullied during 3rd grade and partially 4th grade. He’s in Karate but it took a lot for him to even spar, kid has a heart of gold. I sat down with him and explained that sometimes bullies are mean because something bad might be happening at home. Even so, it’s not an excuse for them to be mean to him and if it ever got physical, he had our permission to hit the kid back until the bully is neutralized. We ended up pulling him from that school because they weren’t doing shit about stopping the bullying but the flip side is my nephew didn’t get in trouble for defending himself.

My sister was being bullied in 6th grade by a 15 year old in her class. Teacher refused to do anything about it, so my mom told her to respond physically next time he hit her. She took martial arts and used his weight against him. Threw him several feet into a wall. He never touched her again.

Yep. Brought my older boys up with you don’t start it but you finish it. Eldest finally snapped at a bully after months and of course got suspended. Told the principal frankly I’m amazed that he only pushed him when ive told him to punch the dhit out of him for his months of bs. tell me who is the problem? then gave him ice cream

My cousin was bullied for years and nothing happened even though there were plenty of parent principal meetings. After our grandma died the bully somehow found out and started to bully my cousin about it. My cousin jumped the bully. I don’t know details of the fight but based on pay fights my cousin probably pushed him down and started punching anywhere he could reach. When the bully’s lackey tried to help him our second cousin got on his back. My cousins got multiple weeks suspension I think 4 and 3. Bully got 1 week suspension. Lackey got a weekend detention. Principal asked my my cousin’s parents never brought up the bullying sooner. They said if they had documentation the bullying was happening they would have been able to be much more lenient about the fight…

This is good parenting. I love that everyone walked away here better. Except the cafeteria monitor, because fuck her for not paying attention during lunch time and letting this happen under her watch.

Seriously. Distracted on her phone is one thing, but nobody could possibly be so distracted as to not notice a child screaming for help. That’s willful negligence at that point, she got off lucky with just being fired.

Cafeteria monitor here. We have maybe 100 kids at lunch at one time in our school. It gets loud and crazy sometimes. That being said, I cannot see an instance where even a distracted monitor wouldn't be aware enough to intervene in that situation. The kid screaming would take precedence over almost anything else to the rest of the kids. There would be other kids getting my attention to the situation. We had a second grader lose a tooth at lunch today and at least ten kids told me! The biggest reason this scenario shouldn't have happened is, allergy table or not, there is NO WAY IN HELL the bully kid should be allowed to sit with the allergy kid when the bully has previously threatened harm to the other kid. The cafeteria monitor knew what had happened the day before, it's their job to make sure it doesn't escalate.

Retired teacher here, and you’re doing God’s work as a cafeteria monitor. 🏆🥇🏅🎖️ Feel free to pin those on!

Aww thank you.

[удалено]

People are way too addicted to their phones. While they're driving, while they're walking, while they're supposed to be monitoring children, etc. It's a big, stupid issue. Put your damn phones down. Whatever it is you're looking at, whatever notifications you got, whatever texts you're replying to.. they can all wait. I constantly see people on their phones while driving. The amount of people I see actively distracted while they're driving at a high speed is way too many. It really annoys the shit out of me, honestly.

I loved how he explained the steps he should take to avoid a physical altercation but if it's unavoidable, hit without hesitation and protect yourself. And after the situation is resolved, stop attacking. Those are the right steps to teach imo and I will do so with my son, if the need ever arises.

Especially if the school, like most other American schools has an "Both participants in a violent encounter will be punished equally". If you're going to get punished for getting in a fight, you might as well punch first.

Or going the route of Ender Wiggin. End the fight in a way to end all future fights as well ;)

I'm sure the principal was read the riot act about how she mishandled the situation to the point that lawyers had to get involved. At least, I hope so. It's her JOB to get all the pertinent information before threatening consequences. She should also understand that it didn't matter that the kid had almond butter on his fingers since he told OOP child that it was peanut butter. She should also have been reprimanded about the school allowing the bullying to continue to this point. I hope she felt embarrassed about it, but she probably wasn't.

I kinda expected the bully’s parents to be angry at getting their kid in trouble and moving schools. But really good the hear they took it seriously and came over and apologized. Really nice. You never know how your kid is acting outside your presence and while it’s easy to blame the parents these seem to face the consequences and grow. Nothing more can be asked of them

Exactly it was a refreshing read where the other parents took accountability and it was a learning experience for both kids!

Ok, obviously OOP and his son are the real MVPs here. But I do want to point out that while the bully was a piece of shit, he actually did something good that I really didn't expect. The almond butter was an interesting insight into his brain. He wants to be big and tough, but he doesn't actually want to kill anybody. Did he deserve to get punched in the throat, yes! But is he a completely terrible human being, no.

I also want to point out that it was great that the bully’s parents 1. Made bully apologize in person 2. Made him watch a video on anaphylaxis to understand more of what he did wrong. Since it seems like the parents are not acting like entitled Karens raising brats. It shows this kid will probably not turn into a horrible human. 

Yes! This was a huge teaching moment for everyone involved. The consequences were severe enough that this lesson will linger with everyone for a long time.

I have such high praise for the bully kids parents. Kids are fucking stupid and the age of these kids is when they're testing boundaries and the parents took the time to ensure the kid knew how stupid the move was. A+ parenting.

Yeah this genuinely seems like “kids can be so fucking stupid” more than “kids can be fucking evil”

I agree. This very much feels like a kid (the bully) not thinking about the fact that his actions have consequences. I also think he didn’t really understand what would happen to Oops kid. So in his mind of funny prank. Which is why I’m glad his parents and then Oop made sure he truly understand what a person goes through during anaphylaxis.  All of that being said Oop did the right thing about making sure his son knew he could defend himself. The son did defend himself as he should have. 

Adds to the fact that the bully kid is just a kid too, no older than 10. But imagine if he succeeded in putting peanut butter on the ops kid.. who doesn't have a reaction and begins to believe he's outgrown his allergy and tries his first real peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I'm glad lessons were learned for all. Another way to teach about allergies is having someone breathe through a straw... then slowly squueze that straw until they can't get any air through. That's what happens to their throats. It's a lot more informative to a child than "they can't breathe"

Yeah it sounds like he wanted to bluff and didn't actually intend to seriously injure OOP's son. He was genuinely remorseful that things got out of hand and they even hugged it  out at the end!

I wouldn't discount Bullys parents here.  I think they did a stand out job with their kid too, in teaching him about allergies and bringing him over to apologise.

Eh I don't know, it's like threatening someone with empty gun, like the victim doesn't know it's empty, so they will scared shitless regardless

Many countries have reduced sentences for "armed robbery" cases where the gun is unloaded. The reason is harm reduction - we want to incentivize criminals to not rob people, but also if they rob people we want to reduce the chances that someone will get hurt.

Yeah, but they are kids. Empathy is not something innate, it something you learn and get taught when growing up. and by the bully's and OOP's kid reactions, I think each parents is doing well in this regard.

Yeah, both types of assault are of course terrible things to do and are inexcusable. But it is undoubtedly worse to actually attempt to kill someone vs scaring someone into thinking they're in danger when they aren't.

Eight year olds, Dude.

Now this is a proud dad moment. If my son was getting bullied, I'd teach him to fight back and stand up for himself. Bullies should face the consequences for their actions in some sort of way. Also, it's nice to see where the bully parent's actually taking responsibility and the bully actually apologizing for their wrongdoings.

My dad taught young teenage me to aim for the groin lol. I 'developed' early, and this started getting me a lot of unwanted attention from the older highschool boys. After confiding in him, he said (almost word for word) - 'Walk away the first time. If they pursue you, aim for the groin and once they're on the floor, keep kicking until you feel safe. It would hold up in court, I'll make sure it holds up at school' I never did it, but it made me feel better hearing my dad be on my side.

My dad told me pretty much the same. He said kick them in the balls. So I did when any "testing" the waters happened. He also taught self defense classes. So I used that too and threw down a would be bully twice my size who wanted to steal my friend's candy. Suffice to say, no bullying ever happened after those situations. School life was super peaceful.

Love it! I'm usually very sympathetic to men being hit in the genitals (my partner literally cartoon style stepped on a board the other day and smacked his groin), but if you're trying to grab my breasts without permission, you're getting a knee to the balls. Simple as that.

>keep kicking until you feel safe. That's kind of a great line.

Based on the aftermath, I highly doubt bully ever pulls a similar stunt again.

The bully definitely seems to have learnt that a) being a bully has consequences and b) allergies are not something to fuck around with. With any luck, he'll develop positively from this.

My kid got in trouble so many times in school for standing up for his friends. He knew he had a standing order to defend people from bullies and did so. Luckily never came down to physical violence but I got a lot of crap from the teachers for him being a "mother hen." Better than than a kid get hurt or hurt themselves over bullying.

When she started school, I told my daughter (now 7) that if someone bullies her she has to tell the teacher every time. But if someone hits her, she has my full permission to hit back first and tell the teacher afterwards. We went to pick her up from afterschool daycare a few months ago and her teacher was kind of upset because she had hit a girl. First thing we asked: did she hit you or did you hit her first? She responded that the kid had been teasing her, she had told one of the teachers whom told the kid to stop and the kid decided to hit her when the teacher walked away. So she hit her back hard and went to tell the teacher again, while the kid ran towards another teacher (the one who was upset) that my kid had hit the other girl. First thing I did was high five my daughter and tell her she did a good job of standing up for herself…the teacher almost exploded 😂 She tried going into a whole lecture about how it’s wrong to teach children to hit each other and that violence isn’t allowed and whatnot…we interrupted her by asking her what punishment my kid got, which was that she wasn’t allowed to play for 15 minutes. Then we asked her what punishment the other kid got and she was silent at first before trying to say that she based her actions on the information she had at the time. We made it clear that we’re not there to tell her how to do her job, but that I found out exactly what happened within half a minute of being there (my kid doesn’t lie and she knows it too). That she punishment my kid for not allowing herself to be bullied and basically taught the bully that if she runs to the teacher first and cries and lies she will get away with bullying. That we are teaching our kid that she is allowed to stick up for herself and that no one is allowed to touch her without her consent or to hit her, and that she is allowed to hit back. That we don’t care that this is against her class room policies and that a more important class room policy should be imo to catch the bullying early or prevent it from escalating to physical violence. That we would be revisiting that conversation with her if we ever found out that my kid was punished for defending herself from a bully and the bully received no punishment… I think we definitely spooked her. Might have to do with the fact that my partner is known in our small town as a very direct person that wears his heart on his tongue (for reference, we’re Dutch, so in other cultures he might even be considered abrasive sometimes). In contrast, people consider me a calming influence on him because I’m fairly quiet and am a good listener that always tries to see both sides of an argument. The fact that I delivered most of the “tirade” in my second paragraph (in a controlled voice, I didn’t yell) must have gotten the point across.

Damn. I respect the fuck out of you right now, you’re the best kind of parent.

That school district should be thankful they avoided a massive lawsuit and having to pay out an almost-guaranteed settlement. The final blow was that they couldn’t make her sign out an NDA that they probably would have included in the terms of receiving the hypothetical settlement.

Maybe it's because I'm older and bullying in my day was different, but when they said they were going to implement an allergy free table all I could think was they are painting a target on these kids back. I know when I was in school (80's/90's) segregation of the "weird" kids would have just made it easier for b bullies to find victims. Hopefully things are better now and this won't happen.

A lot of schools have gone completely nut-free since so many kids have nut allergies. It could be a big table!

Same. "You want to announce to my classmates that I've an allergy so they know how they can actually kill me?" This would have been my thought as a child.

This sounds a *lot* like a buddy of mine when his kid got in trouble for defending himself... from... a bully... Shit, is that *you*, Salad Shooter?!

How'd he get the nickname Salad Shooter?

Got bullied by a salad. Eventually fought back.

Makes perfect sense.

the dwight schrute school of self defense works

maybe im overthinking this but...the bully change schools, came to apologize, parents had a school board meeting turned lawyer meeting, both sides was able to find and hire a lawyer, monitor got kicked....in the span of what? 1 day? 2 days? it kinda makes the story unbelievable

Plus the allergy reaction is sus

Yes, as someone with anaphylactic allergies — a trip to the emergency room and a shot of adrenaline is not how they tend to treat a localised skin reaction. That's what strong antihistamines are for, maybe a shot of steroids if you do end up in an ambulance. Epinephrine is a somewhat dangerous temporary fix for someone going into shock/at imminent risk of death. Also how does he have a used EpiPen lying around to show off? There's not much to show off, given how the plastic retracts to cover the needle (preventing needle stick injuries, it's a smart design) Also also EpiPen trainers tend to be easily distinguished from the real thing by means of the big label saying "trainer" and alerting the reader that this contains no needle and no adrenaline. That is, if you can't tell from the fact that they're super light because they don't contain any liquid and have no hole for a needle to come out of

Yeah, I went the the ER because I was reacting poorly to an allergen and was having a cough. Not anaphylactic but had the potential to be. They gave me a steroid shot and cough syrup with codeine lol No epinephrine or anything.

And the school just immediately let him watch this cafeteria video.

Couldn't have handled this situation better.

Oh the kid giving the bully a hug. What a sweet child. Me at 8 would have been waving with a middle finger saying “byeeeeeeee!”

The story unfortunately falls apart with the epinephrine treatment at the ER. For a slight swelling of the arm with no respiratory symptoms, no treatment is needed, or just an oral antihistamine. There was a study where 30 kids with peanut allergies had skin contact and only a third reacted and all were mild. None needed treatment. Epinephrine is generally reserved for actual anaphylaxis because it’s highly unpleasant. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12847496/

For me it was the immediate access to the video footage... (while the kid just sat there waiting to see if he'd go into anaphylaxis I guess)

And the bully getting moved to a different school the very next day.

Yeah, there was a lot of stuff that didn't add up here. Like others, I think I got to the "they showed me the video"... "they moved the bully"... "lunch monitor fired for it" and realized yeah this story is BS. But hey, I feel like the moral stands. If a bully is threatening you with grievous (or even fatal) injury I feel like you're well within your rights to protect yourself. You can sort things out later.

I likewise was a bit "hmm" at the whole "oh did I say I had a meeting with the school board? I meant the lawyers" because that 100% sounded like a plot hole correction based on people questioning it in the original post. By the end I was muttering "--and that bully...was Albert Einstein."

And who are the magical people who can get a lawyer to even answer a phone in two days let alone attend a meeting on short notice.

Also this is not how schools work. The teacher would not be told why the lunch monitor was fired. And the teacher definitely would not be calling a parent to tell them why the lunch monitor was fired. I've worked in schools for 10 years, and the way this school stuff is explained makes no sense.

Don't forget the principal instantly letting the dad watch the video of the lunchtime.

Oh, you mean I can't walk into my kid's public school and demand to see the video footage from two hours ago right now and the principal won't swivel around in her office chair to a wall of video monitors and immediately click to the location and time of the event in full HD color with zoom? And I won't get to go "Enhance. Enhance. Enhance. Ah-ha! There's a glob of peanut butter on the bully's finger!" before I slide off my sunnies and say, "I guess there's nuttin' butter than justice."? I mean what are my taxes even paying for really

Not just full HD, but also crisp, clear audio capable of picking up every line of dialogue between two students in the middle of a noisy cafeteria.

You can also add charging an 8 year old with attempted murder. And the first part the principal claimed it was peanut butter, and in the update the principal claimed it was almond butter.

The entire thing was sus

Surprised I had to scroll down this far to find the skepticism. The story fell apart way before the trip to the ER.

Yes, and an epipen does not have a button on it. You just jam that thing right onto your thigh with as much effort as you can muster. (Thanks for that knowledge, *Paper wasp that felt the need to sting me for existing near it*)

Anapens ([basically the same concept](https://anapen.com.au/how-to-use/)) have buttons on them. It’s like Band-Aids or Velcro though the name EpiPen is synonymous with the device

Lol. Asked to sign an NDA. "Why would that benefit me at all?"

Only mistake here was telling the kid to do a throat punch, that can end up killing someone *really* easily if you hit straight on. Thankfully the kid went for a clothesline instead, which is a-OK in this situation (along with pretty much any other kind of attack. It's just the premeditated part that's problematic). Otherwise though this seems like it was pretty much the perfect resolution to the situation, and OOP did exactly the right thing by telling their kid the use of force was justified given this was a literal threat to his life

I'm actually having a little trouble believing in this litigious day and age that a school principal was blithely ignorant of the anaphylactic risk of peanut butter.  I can totally believe they ignored the bullying, because they absolutely do that. 

So within two days he had a lawyer and the other kid was already at a new school?

Good chop kid

My mom teach me the same. If it's verbal walk away or ignore or put on earbuds. If it's physical, give them critical hit where it hurt and stop when they are no longer posing threat anymore Good fighter have good self restraint

I’m proud of you and glad you fought hard for your child. My son is 24 years old and it was so hard when he was in grade school (Catholic school) to get them to understand the severity of a peanut allergy. Turned out there were four kids with him in his grade with a peanut allergy and all of us parents got the school to agree to put the kids at a peanut-free zone table. Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005 and the cafeteria couldn’t serve hot lunches. Parents had to provide lunch. Well, lots of parents sent in peanut butter sandwiches in their child’s lunch box. We fought hard to get our children to sit outside on nice weather days far away from the lunch crowd. We had to fight even harder to get them a peanut free zone indoors to eat their lunch when it rained. I’m glad you stood up for your child and glad you asked to see security camera footage. I’m glad things have worked out for your child.

As the mother of an almost three year old child, I’m increasingly terrified about the future.

As a dad of a kid the same age, same. I have no qualms teaching my kid to fight another kid if the school is being useless, but Jesus what a world we’re bringing them into huh

this was nuts

I have trouble believing this was actually written by a fucking adult.

Is the principal really dense enough to say "we can’t just have kids hitting other children just because they had a little peanut butter wiped on them" without checking if the kid has an allergy? It's the most famous allergy, everyone has heard of it, and it's basic safeguarding. Second, letting a parent check the CCTV showing dozens of other kids wouldn't happen. I hope this is real, because it means a bully faced consequences, all the parents are sane and don't pretend their children are angels, and there's a happy ending with Bully and Bullied hugging. But that would also mean this school is run by the criminally incompetent.