Lol from that guy? Yeah kinda
It does seem like he'd probably take any amount of enthusiasm as a sign that a girl is into *him specifically*, based on his fixation here. Which like, I'd talk to him about a video game but *not a chance*
I've also seen how some dudes on this platform talk about *why* they like Zelda (the series or the character) and that's much more offputting than the basic idea of having a fixation/special interest.
> It does seem like heād probably take any amount of enthusiasm as a sign that a girl is into him
Honestly, I donāt think he even needs any signals. Dude made a whole post based on a girl matching with him on Tinder, which is when I realized he didnāt even have any conversation with her yet. He was giving himself a panic attack over a hypothetical scenario where the girl wouldnāt like Zelda, when in reality he hadnāt even exchanged messages with the girl
In reality, it's *really* easy to speak to aliens. First you get a babbel fish or a universal translator, then you just start asking questions such as "why have you come to earth", "what's your hobbies", "tell me about your home planet", "are you sure you're not here to terraform our plsnet and use us as cattle or slaves" and "what's your favourite food". Sprinkle in some compliments too, for example "your dress is super cute" and "i really like your face tentacles". Most important is to listen to their answers! This will both give clues as to their real intention on earth, but also give you something to build potential friendships or romances on
One can apply the same rules to girls as well! Just remember to adjust some talking points to make them more relevant to human women. Most human women dislike when you try to ask them about their plans to terraform earth to use for organ harvestingable human cattle breeding, but that'd understandable since it's a rather sensitive subject. Beside that, most things are the same!
>Most human women dislike when you try to ask them about their plans to terraform earth to use for organ harvestingable human cattle breeding
But only because men seem to misunderstand the need for hollowing out their torsos to use for incubation.
Gooood point. I was so dazed by the amount he wrote in total about it that I skipped right past that detail. I'm also just old enough to mentally picture dating as like, talking to someone at an IRL social event and inadvertently imagine him striking up conversations only to somehow have it always go south.
The rise of online dating and people complaining about it on the internet makes it clear that it's easy to think a lot of things about the people you're attracted to if you never work up the nerve to say 'hello' and instead victimize yourself for being too weird or demonize them for being too picky.
The rise of online anything isnāt the reason for this. I grew up in the 80s and 90s and I promise you. Online is just an avenue for people to be people. Itās like saying the telephone fucked us up, or books. Theyāre just different media for communication. Things were NOT better in the before times. If anything, having BORU available has taught me the exact patterns of abusers, and having things like tumblr has taught me that my own mental health struggles are absolutely not unique or my fault.
Iām rambling cuz I feel strongly about this. The clearly bad things I see are more about how new opportunities for monopolies have a risen, i.e. Twitter and google and Amazon.
That's fair. I see the online part of sexism in video game culture as a massive flare up - inflammatory in the organismic sense, another factor in the etiology of unapologetic degeneracy. An exaggeration of what, as you say, was always there. Women have always had an uphill battle with being accepted into video game culture but the gatekeeping I recall from the 90s was mainstream cringe sexism. predictable "I hate my wife / girls think I'm a nerd" shit that was everywhere then but it never went any further, and now it's "I got rejected once and I think girls have it easy and women exist to be attractive to me and now I'm hopelessly soaring down the incel pipeline" in woman hating circlejerks. Like they are at the very least saying the quiet part out loud more, because they form communities that are so deeply unwelcoming and unsafe even to the kind of woman who claws her way into male dominated spaces, or who would have 10-40 years ago. Communities that are even out of the view of the kinds of men who police other men about getting too extreme. All the infantilizing, objectifying, jealously, hatred, loneliness, and spite, but not even tempered by token chivalry.
I grew up in the UK, born in the 1970s, so my young adulthood was in the 1990s.
These sad scary weirdoes used to hang around in pub corners, in my experience. Or advertise to one another in porn magazines. The word 'incel' wasn't around, but back then it was actually so common that men would slap or pinch women in the buttocks at work that it was part of mainstream culture on adverts or in general TV.
I don't think the US was any better - women I've known who went over there said how scary it was compared to home, so far as aggressive male attention went. Not as bad as Morocco or Egypt, but noticeably worse enough to cause comments.
Anyway, they've always been around and sought one another out, just they had a lot futher down the hole to travel before they became noticeably weird, because treating women as sex objects was so normalised.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I dated one of these guys in college. He was sweet and was a rebound from a guy who had shamed me about any "nerdy" hobby (D&D, videogames, boardgames, etc). This guy liked that I played videogames and even had my own consoles (early-mid 2000's š).
What this guy DIDN'T like was the fact that he only rarely beat me at the games of which he fancied himself a "master" (Mario Cart, GoldenEye, basically every obscure fighting game he would bust out in his attempt to best me). He cried, threw his controller, and would refuse to speak to me while he was upset.
This relationship did not last long.
Insert the Halo sexism study abstract:
>We show that lower-skilled players were more hostile towards a female-voiced teammate, especially when performing poorly. In contrast, lower-skilled players behaved submissively towards a male-voiced player in the identical scenario. This difference in gender-directed behaviour became more extreme with poorer focal-player performance. We suggest that low-status males increase female-directed hostility to minimize the loss of status as a consequence of hierarchical reconfiguration resulting from the entrance of a woman into the competitive arena. Higher-skilled players, in contrast, were more positive towards a female relative to a male teammate. As higher-skilled players have less to fear from hierarchical reorganization, we argue that these males behave more positively in an attempt to support and garner a female playerās attention.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4503401/
such a depressing study, honestly. There's no room for a healthy competition between equals, either it's "feemale threaten me" or "feemale cute must get attention". Yikes
"you got beaten by a GIRL" = Biggest diss
"Yeah, you won... Against a GIRL" = not a compliment since girls are just accepted as inferior at games (though I've never quite understood what function a penis has on a controller; I do just fine with two hands and no penis š¤·).
I grew up as the only girl in a household of boys. I worked in a male-only industry (I've never heard of another woman doing the job I did in over a 1k mile radius) for over a decade. I'm used to a certain amount of sexism; it's kinda cute to melt their brains.
I'm totally okay with men underestimating my tiny Cajun self; it rarely goes well for them.
To be fair, the study was explicitly looking at sexism in video games through the lens of "evolutionary" explanations - in other words, how might these actions be driven by reproductive urges?
They were framing their observations and conclusions through a specific point of view, so it's not terribly surprising that they reported their results from that same point of view.
I'm not going to "Not all men," here, because frankly I can't stand that line of thought (and I'm a man). There is definitely a strong undercurrent in most competitive games that views female participants as prizes instead of competitors, especially in male-dominated genres like shooters. But if the researchers weren't explicitly looking at the sexual politics involved, there may have been more nuanced behavior identified - and yes, a greater emphasis on healthy competition rather than how a female "prize" is perceived.
But what if they start dating and a girl that likes Zelda comes a long later. Everyone knows once you start dating someone you're basically married. There's no way to break up if you decide you want to date someone else instead.
Yeah Iāve had dudes get real weird with me because I like comics (though they never bother to find out that I donāt really like the same type of comics as them) or insert niche indie rock/punk band that theyāre obsessed with. Theyāve internalized the fixation as a part of them so much that they assume that if I like the thing it must mean that I like them or that weāre meant to be or something. Super offputting.
Itās a perfect encapsulation of how so many people are ending up in horrible relationships too. Liking Zelda together isnāt going to give anyone common morals, values, or life plans. Ā The whole āwe both like this random thing weāve tied our identities to so therefore we are compatibleā is such a misinterpretation of what compatibility really is. Liking similar things is compatibility for high school or summer camp.
The Reddit post 3 years later: āI had no way of telling she would do something horrible to our dog! Usually sheās a great partner and I love her!ā
YES. Too many people seem to base their relationships on bonding over common media likes. Liking the same activities can be useful inasmuch as it relates to lifestyle choices, but āOMG they actually like the same music/show/game that I do!ā isnāt a foundation for life plans.
It's probably the fantasizing that there's compatibility and having something to share but then there's the missed point of is the girl even interested in the first place
A man once spent weeks/months following me around, acting like I'm his dream girl, simply because we're both redheads who like cartoons.
Literally just *cartoons.* Adventure time, ATLA, She-Ra, Inside Job, Over the Garden Wall, fucking WINX CLUB. These are the things that, when paired with a genetic outlier, maketh a soulmate, I guess.
agreed, I had some get weird with me when they find out I like video games... only for it to be mainly kids games (Mario, Pokemon, Zelda and the like) and rarely if ever FPS, MMOS, etc isn't my genres of what I like at all. many of them become disappointed upon hearing I don't like FPS games. dude... I like Halo but that's it.
Oh yeah, my experiences with guy gamers in the wild have been so weird. There's a strange double standard about what games women can be into. Guys dismiss us for liking "kid" or "girly" games because they're not "serious" or violent and not *real* games. But then, if you are into those kinds of games, you get the Spanish Inquisition because how could you possibly know the intricate kudzu plot of Metal Gear Solid? And if you don't know insanely niche piece info about a game you claim to like it's instant proof that you're faking it.
I mean, seriously, sorry Steve for not knowing that Eva had a boob job before the events of MGS3 since I did not read her medical file in the health menu. You know, since I was more interested in *playing the game and having fun* you twit. Apparently this means I'm faking liking the series, despite my absolute love of this ridiculous soap opera of a video game series.
it's weird how they want gore/violence/sex in it and it is boy teenagers/men oriented games and girls don't want to enjoy or play it *shocked pikachu face* like the demographic it's marketed to have a reason behind it. I enjoy Halo only because while there's gore, at least it's not overly gorey like some games tend to be, and there isn't sex in it, far as I know.
Talked to a dude for a week who thought we were destiny and he "DESERVED" me and he wanted to shout it from the mountaintops because I sent him a pavement song and own a drum set š it more just bums me out that so many people haven't talked to enough people to find overlaps like that that when it happens they think it's some cosmic destiny and not a statistical probabilityĀ
>Lol from that guy? Yeah kinda
Yes. There is no way he hasn't met a girl who doesn't like Zelda. It's just that I can imagine the way he talks about video games and why they would steer clear from him.
>that's much more offputting than the basic idea of having a fixation/special interest.
And it's one of the reasons why I avoid going into subreddits about specific games or characters. Especially after Genshin's official subreddit kept deleting male characters' art but allowed extremely sexualized fanarts of the female characters.
What do you think are the chances he's met girls who are into Zelda, but then gatekept them and made them feel like they weren't into it *enough*? "Oh you like Zelda? Name 10 [obscure facts about Zelda that no normal fan of the game would know]"
Or not into it _correctly_. "What do you MEAN Majora's Mask is your favorite? I thought you had TASTE!"
Or not into it in the right way. "You didn't put in for release week off? You can't think I'm going to wait for the weekend to play?"
Honestly, I tend to tap out when someone makes _anything_ the basis of their personality. Like, I like to play computer games - Iāll play them with my mates, my brother, my daughter, etc. - but Iād draw the line at calling oneself a gamer because of what whole skeevy culture.
Thereās not a chance in hell heās *not* showing up places with his Linkās tunic inspired hoodie, his backpack in the shape of a Hylian shield, his Switch with the Sheikah Slate case, and of course his LOZ keychain/lanyard. The girlies are absolutely pretending to not know what it is.
>And it's one of the reasons why I avoid going into subreddits about specific games or characters. Especially after Genshin's official subreddit kept deleting male characters' art but allowed extremely sexualized fanarts of the female characters.
Thatās insane. Husbandos deserve love too. Makes me appreciate my sub a little more, because sometimes when male characters are released, some people (whoāre rightly downvoted or not upvoted much) complain, but the majority calls them out for that cause they matter just as much.
Man that pissed me off so much when it happened. It's like certain types of straight guys within the gaming community can't seem to fathom or deal with the idea that there are potentially you know people of other genders or orientations also into the same game.Ā
A game I play recently had a story update and a couple people were complaining about āwhy are you guys so obsessed with forcing characters to be interpreted as gay? Why canāt you just let it beā oh you mean the two grown men who have expressed intense lifelong (even after death) devotion to each other and tenderly touch each others face in order to literally stop an apocalypse from happening?? Thatās forced representation by the community to you and not just accepting canon??? Lmao
>I've also seen how some dudes on this platform talk about *why* they like Zelda (the series or the character) and that's much more offputting than the basic idea of having a fixation/special interest.
I am both scared and curious.
I'm trying to remember if it was Zelda or Aerith in an AITA(?) about that this dude was obsessed with a game character and wanted to get her the necklace the character wears and his gf thought it was gorgeous until she realized it was from the game and it was a weird fetish thing...
I've met many who think their one interest is their whole personality and it gets old quickly. They generally don't like being called on it and will claim you said they had no personality at all when that's not what you said. This might be too specific lol
Tbh it feels to me like this guy is on the spectrum and thinks that to date someone they need to be into his special interest. It's surprisingly common.
Source: work in education, see kids on the spectrum go through this same problem all the time.
Is it that they're sharing their reason for liking Legend of Zelda that's offputting or the actual *why*? I like it for the lore and puzzle aspects. Can't imagine what's bad about that.
I don't really actually mean that a typical fan has bad reasons for liking or shouldn't share them. Your reasons are great.Ā
I'm really saying, some gamer guys, on top of liking the game for gameplay reasons, need to express how into Midna or Zelda or whoever in a very objectifying way. for example, I've seen a ton of threads or comment chains on Zelda related subreddits where tons of guys are enthusiastically sexualizing characters in a way that just seems really gross to me. And I say this as someone who absolutely sees how pretty those characters, and also Link, are. But something about the way some people go about expressing it is just really off-putting to me. It's hard to explain why but I know it when I see it. It's frustrating seeing threads about which female character people are into from a very loaded male gaze perspective, but see queer people or straight women get argued with or downvoted for expressing things differently or being into male characters or being into the many times in Zelda that a character has visibly queer themes (Nintendo doesn't always handle those well from my cultural perspective but I still appreciate them).Ā
I know that's not every guy who's into Zelda causing that atmosphere but I only very rarely see straight guys participating positively in discussions with people of other identities, without being argumentative or intolerant mean. Nor calling out other guys for creepy or narrow perspectives.Ā
I can't help but think that someone with $400 highly breakable figurines and a huge shelf of others is likely to have a few that are visual objectifications of characters that frankly I really like as someone who, like you, loves the games for their lore and gameplay. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like, it's just a bit much. I admit I don't really get the collector mindset, but I've never seen gamer guys or anime fanboys with figurines that aren't basically scantily clad sexualized exaggerations of a female character. I know there are lots of Nintendo collectables but frankly don't even know what kind of breakable figurines the guy is referring to. Most Nintendo stuff I've ever seen is durable and deformable plastic. Maybe that just threw my mind for a loop but I really couldn't help but picture it as his figurine Midna waifu or something like that.Ā
I know that's unfair in some ways, but I'm kinda just saying what frankly goes through my head hearing about this guy's level of obsession. I fully admit I'm a bit judgmental of going in that hard on expensive collectables. But I am hazarding a guess that a lot of other women might feel the same way even if they really, really like Zelda games. it's really just like, a bit much. Courting this guy (if I were straight), maybe I'd end up learning he was totally wholesome about it but I'm really primed to think he's the kind of person - a seemingly typical reddit boy unfortunately - who lusts after one of the characters and might expect a girlfriend to be fully on board with that... but who probably has some insidious views of people other than straight guys applying their own personal interpretations. I've seen too many reddit guys that are vehemently opposed to discussing queer or feminist interpretations of a franchise that's actually really dear to my heart as a queer woman, with its celebrations of androgyny and female power.
The phrase "likes Zelda" was so regular that it went weird on me.
Then he accepted it was fine to have that requirement and I started getting Ogtha flashbacks.
Then his shelf fell on his collectibles and he was cured, YAY! But he has to work extra shifts to replace his collectibles. š¤¦āāļø
But it's fine he can meet someone online who likes Zelda and can even move home to continue this hypothetical relationship with someone who likes Zelda, see how committed he is.
I'm sorry, trying to pastiche this post ends up just repeating it. There's no further absurdity to lean into. It's already there.
It sounds to me like he's anxious about dating, and focusing on Zelda as the issue, when really it boils down to "What if it doesn't work out". In which case, the answer is "Stop looking at every date as the be all and end all of relationships. Just get to know people."
Zelda has been my favorite franchise since I was a child. I've played nearly all the games (even if i haven't beaten all of them), and I can confirm that I did indeed sink into the bushes.
Posts like that are exactly why I never talk about video games when in early stages of getting to know someone.
Zelda? Yeah thatās a pretty game huhā¦
(Disappears into the bushes)
Haha same here. I learned in high school that if I talked about video games with male friends, I was "leading them on." š I used to love video games (still enjoy them I just haven't played any in awhile), but I would not date someone that was this obsessed with them.
Yep, as a huge fan, this is too much. I'm sure he is a nice person, but it's too much. He sounds very inexperienced and a bit in denial toward his obsession (when he talks about his tinder match). I think he might be young, and at least he's not an asshole or a bad person. I think he'll be fine, but therapy might help him with his obsession still. I'd say this is not attractive, but at least it's far from the worse thing i have read on here and far from the worst red flag
Also... what if I like Legend of Zelda, but just casually and I haven't played in years because life happens? This dude didn't want a girl that likes zelda, he wanted one who is obsessed with it.
A man that obsessed with finding a girl who likes exactly what he likes will never engage with or enjoy her hobbies or treat her as a human.
And then he freaks out about a girl who never even messaged him back probably not likening Zelda.
My best friends and I all met in a Zelda RP 25 years ago. We lived all across the country. They're married to each other and I married my husband that I met playing World of Warcraft.
I think we're all going to be hiding in the bushes, just in case.
I had a friend like this. Whatever hobby they picked became an obsession and everything else became irrelevant. Whenever they picked up a new hobby the old one would be completely erased. They'd get mad if you mentioned their previous hobbies because they clearly were inferior to their current one.
At some point they declared they had a revelation and that it was possible to have more than just one hobby so now they were interested in Mangas AND J-Pop.. which too me seemed very much like two facets of the same thing.. it wasn't until I was older that I realized how unhealthy the behavior was and that it strong obsessive compulsive components. Maybe if this had been recognized earlier they'd have a better (and easier) life now
I had a friend like that too. Would get really obsessed with one thing and pour all their time and energy into it. Then it was just onto the next thing after a few weeks. Iāll dip my toes into lots of different things but generally Iāll eventually go back to something and never go as deep in.
Thatās part of my ADHD actually, along with other people I know with ADHD, itās absolutely something I will do if Iām not super careful. Get super into a hobby (for me most often a craft), buy just a little to test it out, decide yes this is the craft for me, buy a whole bunch of stuff, get bored of that one and find a new hyperfixation.
Edit: accidentally didnāt capitalize the h in ADHD
Same. I donāt burn through hobbies, I accrue them for life and just dust them off when my brain comes back around. It does kinda require a lot of storage though.
Not me shaking my head sorrowfully at the piles of yarn waiting for me to get back into my crochet streak, the watercolours gathering dust and losing their shine, the digital piano crying silently in the other room, the books I haven't yet gotten round to and maybe never will mumbling on the shelves, the craft supplies ruffled up in a corner, the hoola hoop staring back with its empty eye...
I like to think all my hobby supplies are cheering me on, hoping I continue to find joy in whatever random thing I stumble into next, knowing that thereās still a place for them in my heart.
Itās either that or being horrified by how much money Iāve spent on all this stuff over the years. So I opt for optimistic delusion š.
Trying lots of stuff is valuable in itself....and there isnt really anything preventing you from watching a video on painting, or a cool crochet project, or listening to some music to stoke the fires of attention and inspiration. Its entirely possible to give yourself that itch back, so long as you have those things to scratch it with.
People challenge themselves all the time, though all i can think of is Inktober.
Theres ways. None of your stuff is sad.
I cycle through my hobbies and never truly lose them. It goes sewing -> cross sttich -> tea -> videogames -> back to sewing... but I still drink tea everyday and might pick up the Switch even in the middle of another's hobby phase.
This used to stress me out because I always questioned if my hobbies would last. But then I read a comment on Reddit where they described their hobby as "having hobbies" and it changed my whole mindset. My hobbies do tend to loop back around, but now I just let myself enjoy what I wanna do even if it doesn't last for a lengthy amount of time.
Yeah I do that too. I'm glad I discovered video games - I get obsessed with a new game every so often instead, and that's much cheaper than getting into woodworking, or knitting, or photography, or whatever else. I buy a new computer every five years, and a $100 video game every six months and that's the extent of it.
Which is good because I spend a lot of money on other ADHD taxes
hyper-fixations or special interests maybe? i definitely have had that experience with a few select things, where i obsess about one specific media or thing and everything else in my life becomes absolutely irrelevant, sometimes making me neglect my job or studies. after some months it fades away (but like another commenter said, it doesnāt go away completely, basically just lurks until it can come out again when another special interest loses steam), but sometimes it takes years.
as someone with both adhd and autism, itās kinda hilarious to me seeing that people called OOP a troll. that they were so disbelieving that someone could be *this* obsessed with an interest of theirs lmao
As someone with ADHD, I obsess over things to the point where i lose interest in some of the other interests for awhile. For example, I started playing Baulders Gate 3 and it was pretty much all I played until my fiance convinced me to take a break and I played a few more things. I have to actively make a decision to not play. I also check with my fiance before I play because if he wants to do something with me, I would rather spend time with him(sometimes we play together but he doesn't enjoy the game nearly as much as I do).
As of right now, I still adore the game. I have several different campaigns going. But I'm also doing other stuff and making sure it doesn't interfere with my life. But I admit, impulse control is such a problem. Not saying your friend has ADHD of course. But I can understand how people can get obsessed.
One of my best friends go through cycles like that with every new BF. She picks up their hobbies fanatically (and usually become pretty good at them) and kinda drops them the second she gets a new guy.
It's kinda weird to me but at least she keeps some leftovers from those hobbies cycles.
I think addictive tendencies plays a big part. My FIL is an addict and he's jumped from obsession to obsession his whole life. Even once he got clean off drugs and booze he doesn't seem to realize that his "hobbies" just replace his addiction. For a while it was supplements and health fads, them it was day trading, then it was the news. He'd become obsessively involved in anything he set his mind to.
Honestly it seems like an autistic fixation, wanting to talk about it constantly and not being willing to spend time with someone who isnāt also going to talk LoZ 24/7.
Gonna toss in my armchair diagnosis, in my option that could be a case of undiagnosed autism. OP has a special interest and doesn't know how to bond with people without bonding over that shared interest. I can relate to that; I don't have such a specific obsession but I wouldn't be able to date someone who isn't into video games at all either.
Autism seems possible, he should probably also be screened for OCD. I have OCD and this does sound like an obsession compulsion pair.
Obsession: fear of ending up with the wrong person and regretting it
Compulsion: fixating on one feature, shared culture first then love of Zelda.
OCD is apparently no longer classified as an anxiety disorder, but it does come with SO MUCH ANXIETY. And they say he talked about his ruminations over the tinder match was very OCD -like.
To be honest it sounds a bit like OCD. Obsessions - Iāll never find a partner, what if I find a partner o like but someone better comes along later etc., Zelda Zelda.
Compulsions - avoidance of any dating or intimacy
Or even completely unable to grasp that hey, maybe a girl he likes would be willing to chat with him about it and become a fan after the relationship. Like....there are so many avenues open, and he sees exactly zero of them.
Or that he should still have booked that therapist, since the time is going to pass anyway.
Guy has something mis-wired up there and isnt capable of dealing with it.
Yeah, but Iāve met people like this. They almost have a hard time seeing the opposite sex as actual people who learn and grow. I totally get having preferences, but the dating pool isnāt some menu with ingredient check marks. Itās a bunch of messy humans interacting with other messy humans. Part of the fun (and the terror) is thereās no 100% telling where it goes!
Yeah, I'd never played any video games until college, my parents thought they'd melt our brains. My (now) husband got me into Lego games first, overcooked, black flag, and when Breath of the Wild came out, I fell in love with it.
But we started dating in 2012, so that was five years into our relationship. And now I arguably know more about BotW and TotK than him lol.
Similarly, I'm not really into games outside of party games like MarioKart or Mario Party. I like to sit with my husband and play a co-op every once in a while (Overcooked almost had me at divorce papers though š)... But otherwise I am not a gamer.
That said, I sunk probably 300 hours into BotW after buying it for my husband as a gift. Ironically he found the open world overwhelming but it hit just right for me.
Still wouldn't want to talk about it with this guy though. Sounds exhausting.
Yeah, and frankly, it's kinda weirdly specific, like I would probably not date a non gamer just for the sake of relatability(and i wouldnt even care what kinda games they played could be anything from mario to hitman), but a specific franchise like zelda seems strange.
I may not have played it but almost every girl friend I have has played at least one of the games. My best friend and one of her close friends are obsessed with it, I'm pretty sure she either got near or total completion for the two recent games.
Iām not one for trying to act like Iām a certified therapist, but it seems pretty clear that heās so insecure and has 0% confidence in actually winning over a girl, that he places these very niche and unrealistic requirements to justify to himself why itās never working out. Or to convince himself itās not worth trying for
That's gotta be what it is, especially how he ties himself in knots over a tinder match.
I didn't read where this guy ever left the house. He joined a Facebook group for Zelda fans. He turns inward when he feels distressed. He can't tolerate the potential conflict of meeting someone who might not like him, but he needs to expose himself to that situation in order to get over the fear of it. At this point he needs a therapist to work through his fear of being perceived by others before he can handle dates.
Or anyway I hope he did that 8-9 years ago.
Every now and then I think the thought of ogtha is gone but a story comes up or I see a flair and it all comes tumbling back. Also 100% listen to the Magnus Archives episode Nesting Instinct. Also has a guy in a relationship with an insect š
Yeah... most women my age I know / girls I knew growing up love(d) Zelda. My partner and I love Zelda, my sister and all my female cousins... I even have some friends around OP's age (a few years younger than myself) who love it. The level of fixation is strange to me (My partner and I only have like 3 shared Zelda-related collectibles - although one of the aforementioned cousins and her husband do have like a whole Zelda shelf like this guy) but still basically harmless.
You'd think he'd have run into *someone* sharing his interest and appreciating his enthusiasm,
So I'm wondering if maybe he was putting people on the spot to love Zelda *as much as he does.* I mean whatever it was, he definitely had some weird stuff going on.
My kid sister used to refer to Twilight Princess as just āTwilightā, in order to fit in with the other girls.
I do not know how it worked. Maybe people misheard Team Midna as Team Edward? Mostly I think she would wax poetic about themes of darkness and light and let the edgy Twihards assume she was being relevant.
This sounds EXACTLY like the kind of āclever planā I would have come up with when I was her age! Oh man. I feel so called out lol, thatās so cute. Good for her.
I was reading about him trying online dating and basically going āsoā¦ā¦put Zelda in your profile?ā It felt like he was trying to find someone obsessed with Zelda by pure random chance, which doesnāt work so well.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I mean, I adore the Zelda series - I've been playing it since the original game came out when I was a tween - but not to this obsessive level.
I'm a girl, play games regularly but the Zelda franchise was never something I wanted to get into. I know the games, I liked watching my brother play BOTW and TOTK, he has amiibos and a Zelda themed switch but I only simp for Gerudo women, Urbosa especially.
I never diagnose people online and I hate the suggestion of someone not being neuro typical since this is a snippet in their life.
However, all I'm going to say that this really reminds me of Love in the spectrum and similar shows where one of the women is determined to meet a guy who is into animation. Or the man who believd he and his date didn't have anything in common cause they didn't have the same favourite movie and tue coach trying to explain that liking movies in general is a thing in common.
Like, in oops case he is so obsessed with the idea of her liking Zelda that he is ignoring the bigger picture which would be find a girl who also likes gaming which they have in common. Also his desperation towards finding a gf (already planning on an online relationship and moving to her location without actually meeting anyone) will push away all the girls. And he won't commit fully cause there is always chance for something better. Hope he is actually "cured" like he says but I'm worried he will find the next thing to obsess about.
The post was reminding me of something I couldn't put my finger on, and then I realised it reads like chrischans very first posts online. Just swap out sonic for Zelda. Even the stuff about having to be culturally compatible is eerily similar. I'm surprised no one else has pointed it out.
This guy is so neurodivergent that he's in danger looping right back round to neurotypical. Which isn't a bad thing, ND people rock and some on the happiest relationships I know are between people who bonded over their personal obsessions, but I really hope he kept that therapy appointment just to help him calm his obsession cycle and learn how to balance his life a little.
He reminded me of Dani right off the bat.
A lot of the participants on LOTS had a dating coach and it confounds me as to why they didnāt provide her one. Her incessant talk about animation drove a lot of people mad (or so I see on forums and stuff). Maybe not a therapist, but I think even having someone within a positive influence in his life give him a pep talk about their experiences with dating could greatly benefit in setting down some major groundwork in terms of what a relationship entails. Iām glad OOP contacted a therapist but I wonder if his collection getting destroyed is only a distraction, and when heās replaced it, heāll return to the same maladaptive behaviour as before (or find a new one).
It's actually so upsetting to me how everyone is just assuming he is a creep and definitely wants to fuck Zelda when the overwhelming likelihood is he's just severely autistic and never learned to adapt in a healthy manner. It's so obvious.
Ok all I'm hearing is that
\-OP starts liking zelda. starts making a collection. at some point gets a $400 zelda figurine.
\-OP realises that he cannot date someone unless they love zelda too. zelda is love. zelda is life.
\-$400 zelda figurine breaks
\-OP is immediately magically cured
my dude was getting brainwashed by a zelda figurine lmao
Yep, this hit home for me. Fixating on whether the traits or looks of your partner (whether they are your current partner or future ā¦) is a big part of ROCD
Just find an autistic woman, you just might find you have a lot in common... but maybe figure yourself out first for both of your sakes /autistic woman
Personally, as a Legend of Zelda fan myself (I even have a Triforce tattoo), I think BotW is the best Zelda game of all time. I think it's a great progression of the series.
Sounds like one of my exes. Dude was absolutely obsessed w one piece, it was all he'd talk about. Kept trying to get me to like it but sorry fans the art style is ugly!!!
Afraid to date in case he meets someone who loves Zelda.
This will totally doxx myself with some super identifying info.
But, this is me with carbonara pasta. I've travelled to almost every continent and if I'm somewhere and they have a carbonara pasta on the menu I have to have it. I can't take the risk of missing out on what could be the best pasta I'll ever have.
Most places are also very inconsistent. So at any of my locals I also have to repeatedly order it in case that night happens to be an amazing batch.
I mean waiting for October till February for a therapist appointment isnāt that bad when itās not an emergency. He could certainly go without a girlfriend from October to February, heās almost certainly not going to meet a girl who loves Zelda in that period anyway.
Girls who love Legend of Zelda after reading this post are like homer Simpson merging with the bushes.
oh god please no one tell him I have Legend of Zelda tramp stamp š
Its okay, he would find some way to shoot himself in the foot before it ever came up.
What if he settled for her and then later met a girl with an even BIGGER Zelda tramp stamp??Ā
I lolād at your comment whilst sitting in the park and scared a duck. Thank you for the chuckle.
Hello, fellow TLOZ tramp stamp! (Mine is a triforce)
Same! Mine is of the bird with the triforce above it, thats part of the Hylian crest.
I think those are called Tingle Teasers
Lol from that guy? Yeah kinda It does seem like he'd probably take any amount of enthusiasm as a sign that a girl is into *him specifically*, based on his fixation here. Which like, I'd talk to him about a video game but *not a chance* I've also seen how some dudes on this platform talk about *why* they like Zelda (the series or the character) and that's much more offputting than the basic idea of having a fixation/special interest.
> It does seem like heād probably take any amount of enthusiasm as a sign that a girl is into him Honestly, I donāt think he even needs any signals. Dude made a whole post based on a girl matching with him on Tinder, which is when I realized he didnāt even have any conversation with her yet. He was giving himself a panic attack over a hypothetical scenario where the girl wouldnāt like Zelda, when in reality he hadnāt even exchanged messages with the girl
Some dudes think of girls as freaking aliens, and they have no idea how to speak to aliens. Itās sad
In reality, it's *really* easy to speak to aliens. First you get a babbel fish or a universal translator, then you just start asking questions such as "why have you come to earth", "what's your hobbies", "tell me about your home planet", "are you sure you're not here to terraform our plsnet and use us as cattle or slaves" and "what's your favourite food". Sprinkle in some compliments too, for example "your dress is super cute" and "i really like your face tentacles". Most important is to listen to their answers! This will both give clues as to their real intention on earth, but also give you something to build potential friendships or romances on One can apply the same rules to girls as well! Just remember to adjust some talking points to make them more relevant to human women. Most human women dislike when you try to ask them about their plans to terraform earth to use for organ harvestingable human cattle breeding, but that'd understandable since it's a rather sensitive subject. Beside that, most things are the same!
And when it comes to women *donāt* mention the face tentacles
unless they like their face tentacles! you just gotta ask,
DONāT ASK. Treat it like pregnancy. If she brings up the face tentacles, youāre in the clear to comment.
You. I like you.
Always remember to carry a towel as well.
Solid advice. One should always know where their towel is!
And importantly, DONT PANIC!
>Most human women dislike when you try to ask them about their plans to terraform earth to use for organ harvestingable human cattle breeding But only because men seem to misunderstand the need for hollowing out their torsos to use for incubation.
Thatās excellent; it makes me think of you writing a weekly column as an agony aunt for alien-lovers
That'd be my dream job, ngl
Gooood point. I was so dazed by the amount he wrote in total about it that I skipped right past that detail. I'm also just old enough to mentally picture dating as like, talking to someone at an IRL social event and inadvertently imagine him striking up conversations only to somehow have it always go south. The rise of online dating and people complaining about it on the internet makes it clear that it's easy to think a lot of things about the people you're attracted to if you never work up the nerve to say 'hello' and instead victimize yourself for being too weird or demonize them for being too picky.
The rise of online anything isnāt the reason for this. I grew up in the 80s and 90s and I promise you. Online is just an avenue for people to be people. Itās like saying the telephone fucked us up, or books. Theyāre just different media for communication. Things were NOT better in the before times. If anything, having BORU available has taught me the exact patterns of abusers, and having things like tumblr has taught me that my own mental health struggles are absolutely not unique or my fault. Iām rambling cuz I feel strongly about this. The clearly bad things I see are more about how new opportunities for monopolies have a risen, i.e. Twitter and google and Amazon.
That's fair. I see the online part of sexism in video game culture as a massive flare up - inflammatory in the organismic sense, another factor in the etiology of unapologetic degeneracy. An exaggeration of what, as you say, was always there. Women have always had an uphill battle with being accepted into video game culture but the gatekeeping I recall from the 90s was mainstream cringe sexism. predictable "I hate my wife / girls think I'm a nerd" shit that was everywhere then but it never went any further, and now it's "I got rejected once and I think girls have it easy and women exist to be attractive to me and now I'm hopelessly soaring down the incel pipeline" in woman hating circlejerks. Like they are at the very least saying the quiet part out loud more, because they form communities that are so deeply unwelcoming and unsafe even to the kind of woman who claws her way into male dominated spaces, or who would have 10-40 years ago. Communities that are even out of the view of the kinds of men who police other men about getting too extreme. All the infantilizing, objectifying, jealously, hatred, loneliness, and spite, but not even tempered by token chivalry.
I grew up in the UK, born in the 1970s, so my young adulthood was in the 1990s. These sad scary weirdoes used to hang around in pub corners, in my experience. Or advertise to one another in porn magazines. The word 'incel' wasn't around, but back then it was actually so common that men would slap or pinch women in the buttocks at work that it was part of mainstream culture on adverts or in general TV. I don't think the US was any better - women I've known who went over there said how scary it was compared to home, so far as aggressive male attention went. Not as bad as Morocco or Egypt, but noticeably worse enough to cause comments. Anyway, they've always been around and sought one another out, just they had a lot futher down the hole to travel before they became noticeably weird, because treating women as sex objects was so normalised.
From the first line, this whole post had me thinking of Buzz Lightyear. "You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity."Ā
I'm embarrassed to admit that I dated one of these guys in college. He was sweet and was a rebound from a guy who had shamed me about any "nerdy" hobby (D&D, videogames, boardgames, etc). This guy liked that I played videogames and even had my own consoles (early-mid 2000's š). What this guy DIDN'T like was the fact that he only rarely beat me at the games of which he fancied himself a "master" (Mario Cart, GoldenEye, basically every obscure fighting game he would bust out in his attempt to best me). He cried, threw his controller, and would refuse to speak to me while he was upset. This relationship did not last long.
Insert the Halo sexism study abstract: >We show that lower-skilled players were more hostile towards a female-voiced teammate, especially when performing poorly. In contrast, lower-skilled players behaved submissively towards a male-voiced player in the identical scenario. This difference in gender-directed behaviour became more extreme with poorer focal-player performance. We suggest that low-status males increase female-directed hostility to minimize the loss of status as a consequence of hierarchical reconfiguration resulting from the entrance of a woman into the competitive arena. Higher-skilled players, in contrast, were more positive towards a female relative to a male teammate. As higher-skilled players have less to fear from hierarchical reorganization, we argue that these males behave more positively in an attempt to support and garner a female playerās attention. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4503401/
such a depressing study, honestly. There's no room for a healthy competition between equals, either it's "feemale threaten me" or "feemale cute must get attention". Yikes
"you got beaten by a GIRL" = Biggest diss "Yeah, you won... Against a GIRL" = not a compliment since girls are just accepted as inferior at games (though I've never quite understood what function a penis has on a controller; I do just fine with two hands and no penis š¤·). I grew up as the only girl in a household of boys. I worked in a male-only industry (I've never heard of another woman doing the job I did in over a 1k mile radius) for over a decade. I'm used to a certain amount of sexism; it's kinda cute to melt their brains. I'm totally okay with men underestimating my tiny Cajun self; it rarely goes well for them.
To be fair, the study was explicitly looking at sexism in video games through the lens of "evolutionary" explanations - in other words, how might these actions be driven by reproductive urges? They were framing their observations and conclusions through a specific point of view, so it's not terribly surprising that they reported their results from that same point of view. I'm not going to "Not all men," here, because frankly I can't stand that line of thought (and I'm a man). There is definitely a strong undercurrent in most competitive games that views female participants as prizes instead of competitors, especially in male-dominated genres like shooters. But if the researchers weren't explicitly looking at the sexual politics involved, there may have been more nuanced behavior identified - and yes, a greater emphasis on healthy competition rather than how a female "prize" is perceived.
But what if they start dating and a girl that likes Zelda comes a long later. Everyone knows once you start dating someone you're basically married. There's no way to break up if you decide you want to date someone else instead.
And then got upset when he didn't get a response after messaging her. That guy has no clue.
Yeah Iāve had dudes get real weird with me because I like comics (though they never bother to find out that I donāt really like the same type of comics as them) or insert niche indie rock/punk band that theyāre obsessed with. Theyāve internalized the fixation as a part of them so much that they assume that if I like the thing it must mean that I like them or that weāre meant to be or something. Super offputting.
Itās a perfect encapsulation of how so many people are ending up in horrible relationships too. Liking Zelda together isnāt going to give anyone common morals, values, or life plans. Ā The whole āwe both like this random thing weāve tied our identities to so therefore we are compatibleā is such a misinterpretation of what compatibility really is. Liking similar things is compatibility for high school or summer camp.
"Likes: Zelda, kicking puppies" "Oh wow, she likes Zelda, maybe I should send her a message"
The Reddit post 3 years later: āI had no way of telling she would do something horrible to our dog! Usually sheās a great partner and I love her!ā
YES. Too many people seem to base their relationships on bonding over common media likes. Liking the same activities can be useful inasmuch as it relates to lifestyle choices, but āOMG they actually like the same music/show/game that I do!ā isnāt a foundation for life plans.
It's probably the fantasizing that there's compatibility and having something to share but then there's the missed point of is the girl even interested in the first place
A man once spent weeks/months following me around, acting like I'm his dream girl, simply because we're both redheads who like cartoons. Literally just *cartoons.* Adventure time, ATLA, She-Ra, Inside Job, Over the Garden Wall, fucking WINX CLUB. These are the things that, when paired with a genetic outlier, maketh a soulmate, I guess.
agreed, I had some get weird with me when they find out I like video games... only for it to be mainly kids games (Mario, Pokemon, Zelda and the like) and rarely if ever FPS, MMOS, etc isn't my genres of what I like at all. many of them become disappointed upon hearing I don't like FPS games. dude... I like Halo but that's it.
Oh yeah, my experiences with guy gamers in the wild have been so weird. There's a strange double standard about what games women can be into. Guys dismiss us for liking "kid" or "girly" games because they're not "serious" or violent and not *real* games. But then, if you are into those kinds of games, you get the Spanish Inquisition because how could you possibly know the intricate kudzu plot of Metal Gear Solid? And if you don't know insanely niche piece info about a game you claim to like it's instant proof that you're faking it. I mean, seriously, sorry Steve for not knowing that Eva had a boob job before the events of MGS3 since I did not read her medical file in the health menu. You know, since I was more interested in *playing the game and having fun* you twit. Apparently this means I'm faking liking the series, despite my absolute love of this ridiculous soap opera of a video game series.
it's weird how they want gore/violence/sex in it and it is boy teenagers/men oriented games and girls don't want to enjoy or play it *shocked pikachu face* like the demographic it's marketed to have a reason behind it. I enjoy Halo only because while there's gore, at least it's not overly gorey like some games tend to be, and there isn't sex in it, far as I know.
Talked to a dude for a week who thought we were destiny and he "DESERVED" me and he wanted to shout it from the mountaintops because I sent him a pavement song and own a drum set š it more just bums me out that so many people haven't talked to enough people to find overlaps like that that when it happens they think it's some cosmic destiny and not a statistical probabilityĀ
>Lol from that guy? Yeah kinda Yes. There is no way he hasn't met a girl who doesn't like Zelda. It's just that I can imagine the way he talks about video games and why they would steer clear from him. >that's much more offputting than the basic idea of having a fixation/special interest. And it's one of the reasons why I avoid going into subreddits about specific games or characters. Especially after Genshin's official subreddit kept deleting male characters' art but allowed extremely sexualized fanarts of the female characters.
What do you think are the chances he's met girls who are into Zelda, but then gatekept them and made them feel like they weren't into it *enough*? "Oh you like Zelda? Name 10 [obscure facts about Zelda that no normal fan of the game would know]"
This had to be some sort of underlying nonsense. I wish OOP had eventually found a counselor. I'd be dying to know where he is at the moment.
Or not into it _correctly_. "What do you MEAN Majora's Mask is your favorite? I thought you had TASTE!" Or not into it in the right way. "You didn't put in for release week off? You can't think I'm going to wait for the weekend to play?"
Yeah, the whole internet gamer culture of "waifu" fetishizing (not really sure how else to describe it) is extremely offputting.
Shut up! You just donāt get it! *Cries into crusty waifu pillow*
Honestly, I tend to tap out when someone makes _anything_ the basis of their personality. Like, I like to play computer games - Iāll play them with my mates, my brother, my daughter, etc. - but Iād draw the line at calling oneself a gamer because of what whole skeevy culture.
Thereās not a chance in hell heās *not* showing up places with his Linkās tunic inspired hoodie, his backpack in the shape of a Hylian shield, his Switch with the Sheikah Slate case, and of course his LOZ keychain/lanyard. The girlies are absolutely pretending to not know what it is.
>And it's one of the reasons why I avoid going into subreddits about specific games or characters. Especially after Genshin's official subreddit kept deleting male characters' art but allowed extremely sexualized fanarts of the female characters. Thatās insane. Husbandos deserve love too. Makes me appreciate my sub a little more, because sometimes when male characters are released, some people (whoāre rightly downvoted or not upvoted much) complain, but the majority calls them out for that cause they matter just as much.
Man that pissed me off so much when it happened. It's like certain types of straight guys within the gaming community can't seem to fathom or deal with the idea that there are potentially you know people of other genders or orientations also into the same game.Ā
A game I play recently had a story update and a couple people were complaining about āwhy are you guys so obsessed with forcing characters to be interpreted as gay? Why canāt you just let it beā oh you mean the two grown men who have expressed intense lifelong (even after death) devotion to each other and tenderly touch each others face in order to literally stop an apocalypse from happening?? Thatās forced representation by the community to you and not just accepting canon??? Lmao
>I've also seen how some dudes on this platform talk about *why* they like Zelda (the series or the character) and that's much more offputting than the basic idea of having a fixation/special interest. I am both scared and curious.
me too. Someone plesde enlighten us
I'm trying to remember if it was Zelda or Aerith in an AITA(?) about that this dude was obsessed with a game character and wanted to get her the necklace the character wears and his gf thought it was gorgeous until she realized it was from the game and it was a weird fetish thing...
I've met many who think their one interest is their whole personality and it gets old quickly. They generally don't like being called on it and will claim you said they had no personality at all when that's not what you said. This might be too specific lol
I Think most of us have met at least one of these people.
Tbh it feels to me like this guy is on the spectrum and thinks that to date someone they need to be into his special interest. It's surprisingly common. Source: work in education, see kids on the spectrum go through this same problem all the time.
Is it that they're sharing their reason for liking Legend of Zelda that's offputting or the actual *why*? I like it for the lore and puzzle aspects. Can't imagine what's bad about that.
I don't really actually mean that a typical fan has bad reasons for liking or shouldn't share them. Your reasons are great.Ā I'm really saying, some gamer guys, on top of liking the game for gameplay reasons, need to express how into Midna or Zelda or whoever in a very objectifying way. for example, I've seen a ton of threads or comment chains on Zelda related subreddits where tons of guys are enthusiastically sexualizing characters in a way that just seems really gross to me. And I say this as someone who absolutely sees how pretty those characters, and also Link, are. But something about the way some people go about expressing it is just really off-putting to me. It's hard to explain why but I know it when I see it. It's frustrating seeing threads about which female character people are into from a very loaded male gaze perspective, but see queer people or straight women get argued with or downvoted for expressing things differently or being into male characters or being into the many times in Zelda that a character has visibly queer themes (Nintendo doesn't always handle those well from my cultural perspective but I still appreciate them).Ā I know that's not every guy who's into Zelda causing that atmosphere but I only very rarely see straight guys participating positively in discussions with people of other identities, without being argumentative or intolerant mean. Nor calling out other guys for creepy or narrow perspectives.Ā I can't help but think that someone with $400 highly breakable figurines and a huge shelf of others is likely to have a few that are visual objectifications of characters that frankly I really like as someone who, like you, loves the games for their lore and gameplay. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like, it's just a bit much. I admit I don't really get the collector mindset, but I've never seen gamer guys or anime fanboys with figurines that aren't basically scantily clad sexualized exaggerations of a female character. I know there are lots of Nintendo collectables but frankly don't even know what kind of breakable figurines the guy is referring to. Most Nintendo stuff I've ever seen is durable and deformable plastic. Maybe that just threw my mind for a loop but I really couldn't help but picture it as his figurine Midna waifu or something like that.Ā I know that's unfair in some ways, but I'm kinda just saying what frankly goes through my head hearing about this guy's level of obsession. I fully admit I'm a bit judgmental of going in that hard on expensive collectables. But I am hazarding a guess that a lot of other women might feel the same way even if they really, really like Zelda games. it's really just like, a bit much. Courting this guy (if I were straight), maybe I'd end up learning he was totally wholesome about it but I'm really primed to think he's the kind of person - a seemingly typical reddit boy unfortunately - who lusts after one of the characters and might expect a girlfriend to be fully on board with that... but who probably has some insidious views of people other than straight guys applying their own personal interpretations. I've seen too many reddit guys that are vehemently opposed to discussing queer or feminist interpretations of a franchise that's actually really dear to my heart as a queer woman, with its celebrations of androgyny and female power.
Boru has given me a new party game. Take a shot everytime OP says Zelda.
The phrase "likes Zelda" was so regular that it went weird on me. Then he accepted it was fine to have that requirement and I started getting Ogtha flashbacks. Then his shelf fell on his collectibles and he was cured, YAY! But he has to work extra shifts to replace his collectibles. š¤¦āāļø But it's fine he can meet someone online who likes Zelda and can even move home to continue this hypothetical relationship with someone who likes Zelda, see how committed he is. I'm sorry, trying to pastiche this post ends up just repeating it. There's no further absurdity to lean into. It's already there.
"Now I just need to find a girlfriend who has those statues and figurines so that when we get married I will have them again."
"I saw a hot girl from the bus window and I wept for the children and marriage I'm denying her but I just know in my heart she doesn't like Zelda."
It sounds to me like he's anxious about dating, and focusing on Zelda as the issue, when really it boils down to "What if it doesn't work out". In which case, the answer is "Stop looking at every date as the be all and end all of relationships. Just get to know people."
Look I'm irish but I think that would still give me an alcohol poisoningĀ
š¤£ we would have no liver left (it's basically like the frasier episode where they drink everytime the antiques roadshow says veneer)
I've played through OoT at least 150 times, but I found myself going "Zelda who? I don't know him, never heard of him!"Ā
Zelda, thatās the blonde chick in the green dress and tights, right?
No I think that's Peter Pan
Zelda has been my favorite franchise since I was a child. I've played nearly all the games (even if i haven't beaten all of them), and I can confirm that I did indeed sink into the bushes.
Make room for me! Iām sinking into the bushes right now!!
Man this bush is going to look like a crime scene. Just random limbs sticking out between the leaves from all the girls trying to hide from OP.
Posts like that are exactly why I never talk about video games when in early stages of getting to know someone. Zelda? Yeah thatās a pretty game huhā¦ (Disappears into the bushes)
Haha same here. I learned in high school that if I talked about video games with male friends, I was "leading them on." š I used to love video games (still enjoy them I just haven't played any in awhile), but I would not date someone that was this obsessed with them.
Yep, as a huge fan, this is too much. I'm sure he is a nice person, but it's too much. He sounds very inexperienced and a bit in denial toward his obsession (when he talks about his tinder match). I think he might be young, and at least he's not an asshole or a bad person. I think he'll be fine, but therapy might help him with his obsession still. I'd say this is not attractive, but at least it's far from the worse thing i have read on here and far from the worst red flag
Also... what if I like Legend of Zelda, but just casually and I haven't played in years because life happens? This dude didn't want a girl that likes zelda, he wanted one who is obsessed with it.
I literally just put down my switch playing TOTK and opened this post lol.
I have a triforce tattoo and I would be like āZelda? Is that the little Peter Pan looking guy?ā If I met thus mofo
The tattoo? I just like triangles š
I have never felt more grateful that I was married. No need to hide, I am protected by the ring.
A man that obsessed with finding a girl who likes exactly what he likes will never engage with or enjoy her hobbies or treat her as a human. And then he freaks out about a girl who never even messaged him back probably not likening Zelda.
My best friends and I all met in a Zelda RP 25 years ago. We lived all across the country. They're married to each other and I married my husband that I met playing World of Warcraft. I think we're all going to be hiding in the bushes, just in case.
literally me rn š im overthinking how much i talk about it with my girlfriend hahaha
There has got to be some underlying crap here. I hope OOP ultimately found a therapist. I would be so curious to find out where he is today.Ā
I had a friend like this. Whatever hobby they picked became an obsession and everything else became irrelevant. Whenever they picked up a new hobby the old one would be completely erased. They'd get mad if you mentioned their previous hobbies because they clearly were inferior to their current one. At some point they declared they had a revelation and that it was possible to have more than just one hobby so now they were interested in Mangas AND J-Pop.. which too me seemed very much like two facets of the same thing.. it wasn't until I was older that I realized how unhealthy the behavior was and that it strong obsessive compulsive components. Maybe if this had been recognized earlier they'd have a better (and easier) life now
I had a friend like that too. Would get really obsessed with one thing and pour all their time and energy into it. Then it was just onto the next thing after a few weeks. Iāll dip my toes into lots of different things but generally Iāll eventually go back to something and never go as deep in.
Thatās part of my ADHD actually, along with other people I know with ADHD, itās absolutely something I will do if Iām not super careful. Get super into a hobby (for me most often a craft), buy just a little to test it out, decide yes this is the craft for me, buy a whole bunch of stuff, get bored of that one and find a new hyperfixation. Edit: accidentally didnāt capitalize the h in ADHD
Thankfully my hyperfixations last a while, and never truly fade. They just lurk in the background, waiting to come back.
Same. I donāt burn through hobbies, I accrue them for life and just dust them off when my brain comes back around. It does kinda require a lot of storage though.
Not me shaking my head sorrowfully at the piles of yarn waiting for me to get back into my crochet streak, the watercolours gathering dust and losing their shine, the digital piano crying silently in the other room, the books I haven't yet gotten round to and maybe never will mumbling on the shelves, the craft supplies ruffled up in a corner, the hoola hoop staring back with its empty eye...
I like to think all my hobby supplies are cheering me on, hoping I continue to find joy in whatever random thing I stumble into next, knowing that thereās still a place for them in my heart. Itās either that or being horrified by how much money Iāve spent on all this stuff over the years. So I opt for optimistic delusion š.
Trying lots of stuff is valuable in itself....and there isnt really anything preventing you from watching a video on painting, or a cool crochet project, or listening to some music to stoke the fires of attention and inspiration. Its entirely possible to give yourself that itch back, so long as you have those things to scratch it with. People challenge themselves all the time, though all i can think of is Inktober. Theres ways. None of your stuff is sad.
Are you me?
I cycle through my hobbies and never truly lose them. It goes sewing -> cross sttich -> tea -> videogames -> back to sewing... but I still drink tea everyday and might pick up the Switch even in the middle of another's hobby phase.
This used to stress me out because I always questioned if my hobbies would last. But then I read a comment on Reddit where they described their hobby as "having hobbies" and it changed my whole mindset. My hobbies do tend to loop back around, but now I just let myself enjoy what I wanna do even if it doesn't last for a lengthy amount of time.
Yeah I do that too. I'm glad I discovered video games - I get obsessed with a new game every so often instead, and that's much cheaper than getting into woodworking, or knitting, or photography, or whatever else. I buy a new computer every five years, and a $100 video game every six months and that's the extent of it. Which is good because I spend a lot of money on other ADHD taxes
ADHD taxes are the WORST, omg.
hyper-fixations or special interests maybe? i definitely have had that experience with a few select things, where i obsess about one specific media or thing and everything else in my life becomes absolutely irrelevant, sometimes making me neglect my job or studies. after some months it fades away (but like another commenter said, it doesnāt go away completely, basically just lurks until it can come out again when another special interest loses steam), but sometimes it takes years. as someone with both adhd and autism, itās kinda hilarious to me seeing that people called OOP a troll. that they were so disbelieving that someone could be *this* obsessed with an interest of theirs lmao
As someone with ADHD, I obsess over things to the point where i lose interest in some of the other interests for awhile. For example, I started playing Baulders Gate 3 and it was pretty much all I played until my fiance convinced me to take a break and I played a few more things. I have to actively make a decision to not play. I also check with my fiance before I play because if he wants to do something with me, I would rather spend time with him(sometimes we play together but he doesn't enjoy the game nearly as much as I do). As of right now, I still adore the game. I have several different campaigns going. But I'm also doing other stuff and making sure it doesn't interfere with my life. But I admit, impulse control is such a problem. Not saying your friend has ADHD of course. But I can understand how people can get obsessed.
One of my best friends go through cycles like that with every new BF. She picks up their hobbies fanatically (and usually become pretty good at them) and kinda drops them the second she gets a new guy. It's kinda weird to me but at least she keeps some leftovers from those hobbies cycles.
I think addictive tendencies plays a big part. My FIL is an addict and he's jumped from obsession to obsession his whole life. Even once he got clean off drugs and booze he doesn't seem to realize that his "hobbies" just replace his addiction. For a while it was supplements and health fads, them it was day trading, then it was the news. He'd become obsessively involved in anything he set his mind to.
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"It's called Link, not Zelda"
Dude what if Zelda was a girl
Honestly it seems like an autistic fixation, wanting to talk about it constantly and not being willing to spend time with someone who isnāt also going to talk LoZ 24/7.
Oh 100% I'm on the spectrum and a big Legend of Zelda nerd and I think they'd even exhaust me on the topic.
I kinda thought they're probably in the spectrum somewhere
Gonna toss in my armchair diagnosis, in my option that could be a case of undiagnosed autism. OP has a special interest and doesn't know how to bond with people without bonding over that shared interest. I can relate to that; I don't have such a specific obsession but I wouldn't be able to date someone who isn't into video games at all either.
Autism seems possible, he should probably also be screened for OCD. I have OCD and this does sound like an obsession compulsion pair. Obsession: fear of ending up with the wrong person and regretting it Compulsion: fixating on one feature, shared culture first then love of Zelda. OCD is apparently no longer classified as an anxiety disorder, but it does come with SO MUCH ANXIETY. And they say he talked about his ruminations over the tinder match was very OCD -like.
To be honest it sounds a bit like OCD. Obsessions - Iāll never find a partner, what if I find a partner o like but someone better comes along later etc., Zelda Zelda. Compulsions - avoidance of any dating or intimacy
The weirdest thing about this whole post is OOP acting like a woman liking Zelda is as rare as a unicorn.
Or even completely unable to grasp that hey, maybe a girl he likes would be willing to chat with him about it and become a fan after the relationship. Like....there are so many avenues open, and he sees exactly zero of them. Or that he should still have booked that therapist, since the time is going to pass anyway. Guy has something mis-wired up there and isnt capable of dealing with it.
Yeah, but Iāve met people like this. They almost have a hard time seeing the opposite sex as actual people who learn and grow. I totally get having preferences, but the dating pool isnāt some menu with ingredient check marks. Itās a bunch of messy humans interacting with other messy humans. Part of the fun (and the terror) is thereās no 100% telling where it goes!
Yeah, I'd never played any video games until college, my parents thought they'd melt our brains. My (now) husband got me into Lego games first, overcooked, black flag, and when Breath of the Wild came out, I fell in love with it. But we started dating in 2012, so that was five years into our relationship. And now I arguably know more about BotW and TotK than him lol.
Similarly, I'm not really into games outside of party games like MarioKart or Mario Party. I like to sit with my husband and play a co-op every once in a while (Overcooked almost had me at divorce papers though š)... But otherwise I am not a gamer. That said, I sunk probably 300 hours into BotW after buying it for my husband as a gift. Ironically he found the open world overwhelming but it hit just right for me. Still wouldn't want to talk about it with this guy though. Sounds exhausting.
Yeah, and frankly, it's kinda weirdly specific, like I would probably not date a non gamer just for the sake of relatability(and i wouldnt even care what kinda games they played could be anything from mario to hitman), but a specific franchise like zelda seems strange.
I'm a woman. I love Zelda. But OOP only mentions girls. At 25. Girls girls girls.
I may not have played it but almost every girl friend I have has played at least one of the games. My best friend and one of her close friends are obsessed with it, I'm pretty sure she either got near or total completion for the two recent games.
This man wants to fuck Zelda so bad.
Heās definitely looking for a blonde.
This kid is all about the frog memory.
shes hot in like all of the games i get himĀ
Not in Wind Waker except for pedophiles I guess
I can understand the attraction. The obsession though....
Any women within a 100 mile vicinity of this man: My dating requirement is that they are NOT obsessed with Zelda games.
I hope he meets a girl who loves Zelda and then she hits him with "oh you don't watercolor paint? Sorry I only date guys who watercolor paint"
Iām not one for trying to act like Iām a certified therapist, but it seems pretty clear that heās so insecure and has 0% confidence in actually winning over a girl, that he places these very niche and unrealistic requirements to justify to himself why itās never working out. Or to convince himself itās not worth trying for
That's gotta be what it is, especially how he ties himself in knots over a tinder match. I didn't read where this guy ever left the house. He joined a Facebook group for Zelda fans. He turns inward when he feels distressed. He can't tolerate the potential conflict of meeting someone who might not like him, but he needs to expose himself to that situation in order to get over the fear of it. At this point he needs a therapist to work through his fear of being perceived by others before he can handle dates. Or anyway I hope he did that 8-9 years ago.
What the Kentucky Fried fuck did I just read???
Damn you. Now I could really go for some Colonel right now
I prefer Louisiana Fried Chicken myself, but different strokes for different folks.
I love that chicken from Popeyes.
Ugh. I'm already craving for Popeyes recently. You just had to make me remember my craving.
Shit, sorry! I was just trying to be funny.
A function autistic person
Iām autistic and Iām 99.99% the OOP is too
Idk but I was worried my son was posting on Reddit. (Kidding, he just loves Zelda)
I'm getting Ogtha vibes
Never read that one before, Jesus CHRIST https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/wblhNBbfis
What a terrible day to be literate.
Every now and then I think the thought of ogtha is gone but a story comes up or I see a flair and it all comes tumbling back. Also 100% listen to the Magnus Archives episode Nesting Instinct. Also has a guy in a relationship with an insect š
That would be a solution to his problems....
As I clicked on this story to read it I said out loud, āIs this another ogtha?ā
This is weird but also every girl I know who likes video games like BOTW
Yeah... most women my age I know / girls I knew growing up love(d) Zelda. My partner and I love Zelda, my sister and all my female cousins... I even have some friends around OP's age (a few years younger than myself) who love it. The level of fixation is strange to me (My partner and I only have like 3 shared Zelda-related collectibles - although one of the aforementioned cousins and her husband do have like a whole Zelda shelf like this guy) but still basically harmless. You'd think he'd have run into *someone* sharing his interest and appreciating his enthusiasm, So I'm wondering if maybe he was putting people on the spot to love Zelda *as much as he does.* I mean whatever it was, he definitely had some weird stuff going on.
My kid sister used to refer to Twilight Princess as just āTwilightā, in order to fit in with the other girls. I do not know how it worked. Maybe people misheard Team Midna as Team Edward? Mostly I think she would wax poetic about themes of darkness and light and let the edgy Twihards assume she was being relevant.
This sounds EXACTLY like the kind of āclever planā I would have come up with when I was her age! Oh man. I feel so called out lol, thatās so cute. Good for her.
That is hilarious and charming. My sister and I were just weird loners until we met the other weird loners and figured out how to be weird socially.
I was reading about him trying online dating and basically going āsoā¦ā¦put Zelda in your profile?ā It felt like he was trying to find someone obsessed with Zelda by pure random chance, which doesnāt work so well.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I mean, I adore the Zelda series - I've been playing it since the original game came out when I was a tween - but not to this obsessive level.
I think you hit the nail on the head here.
BotW brought Zelda well into the mainstream. However, this post is 2 years older than that!
I'm a girl, play games regularly but the Zelda franchise was never something I wanted to get into. I know the games, I liked watching my brother play BOTW and TOTK, he has amiibos and a Zelda themed switch but I only simp for Gerudo women, Urbosa especially.
>This is weird but also every girl I know who likes video games like BOTW Yeah, it's a classic for a reason... because it's damn good.
I guess I'm old now upon hearing BOTW is a classic game.
Itās not even 10 years old how can it be a classic already
Well. There are justā¦ all types of people, arenāt there.
I think that figure was cursed guys.
Yeah it sounds so much like a movie/book. It's a very nice story that I almost forgot it's a real person
I never diagnose people online and I hate the suggestion of someone not being neuro typical since this is a snippet in their life. However, all I'm going to say that this really reminds me of Love in the spectrum and similar shows where one of the women is determined to meet a guy who is into animation. Or the man who believd he and his date didn't have anything in common cause they didn't have the same favourite movie and tue coach trying to explain that liking movies in general is a thing in common. Like, in oops case he is so obsessed with the idea of her liking Zelda that he is ignoring the bigger picture which would be find a girl who also likes gaming which they have in common. Also his desperation towards finding a gf (already planning on an online relationship and moving to her location without actually meeting anyone) will push away all the girls. And he won't commit fully cause there is always chance for something better. Hope he is actually "cured" like he says but I'm worried he will find the next thing to obsess about.
The post was reminding me of something I couldn't put my finger on, and then I realised it reads like chrischans very first posts online. Just swap out sonic for Zelda. Even the stuff about having to be culturally compatible is eerily similar. I'm surprised no one else has pointed it out.
This guy is so neurodivergent that he's in danger looping right back round to neurotypical. Which isn't a bad thing, ND people rock and some on the happiest relationships I know are between people who bonded over their personal obsessions, but I really hope he kept that therapy appointment just to help him calm his obsession cycle and learn how to balance his life a little.
He reminded me of Dani right off the bat. A lot of the participants on LOTS had a dating coach and it confounds me as to why they didnāt provide her one. Her incessant talk about animation drove a lot of people mad (or so I see on forums and stuff). Maybe not a therapist, but I think even having someone within a positive influence in his life give him a pep talk about their experiences with dating could greatly benefit in setting down some major groundwork in terms of what a relationship entails. Iām glad OOP contacted a therapist but I wonder if his collection getting destroyed is only a distraction, and when heās replaced it, heāll return to the same maladaptive behaviour as before (or find a new one).
It's actually so upsetting to me how everyone is just assuming he is a creep and definitely wants to fuck Zelda when the overwhelming likelihood is he's just severely autistic and never learned to adapt in a healthy manner. It's so obvious.
Ok all I'm hearing is that \-OP starts liking zelda. starts making a collection. at some point gets a $400 zelda figurine. \-OP realises that he cannot date someone unless they love zelda too. zelda is love. zelda is life. \-$400 zelda figurine breaks \-OP is immediately magically cured my dude was getting brainwashed by a zelda figurine lmao
Yeah I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that the figurine was cursed or something.
Ikea saves the day again.Ā
This is one if the most autistic things I have ever read and I work with autistic children for a living.
That last paragraph.....
Even his shelf gave up on him
This guy has OCD. Real OCD. He has random things he obsesses about and the thought of them not being fulfilled causes him constant anxiety and panic.
Yep, this hit home for me. Fixating on whether the traits or looks of your partner (whether they are your current partner or future ā¦) is a big part of ROCD
Normally I would say that the dating pool of girls liking Zelda is far larger than OOP thinks. In this special case: no, itās notā¦
Reminds me a lot of OCD, might be something to look into
And this was all before breath of the wild came out. He must have regressed after that.
Or his dating pool suddenly expanded and he found the love of his life.
This feels like a character out of a Murakami book. Weird but not weird in a harmful/bad way. Just strange.
I mean, his obsessive thoughts are absolutely harming **him**.Ā Hopefully he won't turn into a stalker but I wouldn't want to take that bet.
More than usual, I *really* want an "Eight years later...." follow-up.
Burying the lede. Whereās the thread about the Saudi prince?
I googled it, looks like the story is from 2015. And itās as bizarre as it sounds.
Just find an autistic woman, you just might find you have a lot in common... but maybe figure yourself out first for both of your sakes /autistic woman
I'm sure he'll find someone to link up with.
I'm the biggest Zelda fan I know and even I thought this was too much.
Man really just said āgod struck down my Zelda figurinesā So much for OOP linking up with someone
It's been almost 9 years from that, I wonder if Zelda guy is now there hating on BotW for not being "a real Zelda game"
Personally, as a Legend of Zelda fan myself (I even have a Triforce tattoo), I think BotW is the best Zelda game of all time. I think it's a great progression of the series.
Sounds like one of my exes. Dude was absolutely obsessed w one piece, it was all he'd talk about. Kept trying to get me to like it but sorry fans the art style is ugly!!!
This was before breath of the wild. Imagine how quickly OOP turned back on everything he said when that game dropped
Afraid to date in case he meets someone who loves Zelda. This will totally doxx myself with some super identifying info. But, this is me with carbonara pasta. I've travelled to almost every continent and if I'm somewhere and they have a carbonara pasta on the menu I have to have it. I can't take the risk of missing out on what could be the best pasta I'll ever have. Most places are also very inconsistent. So at any of my locals I also have to repeatedly order it in case that night happens to be an amazing batch.
Which country or restaurant had the best carbonara?
At least he's trying to get better? Weird obsession but at least he's acknowledging it's not healthy
I mean waiting for October till February for a therapist appointment isnāt that bad when itās not an emergency. He could certainly go without a girlfriend from October to February, heās almost certainly not going to meet a girl who loves Zelda in that period anyway.
What a tease. Which game? All of them? Only the original? Especially the CDI ones?Guy can't communicate about his requirements is gonna cause problems