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>The whole Annie issue is over since she’s now sleeping with another coworker(he’s married!).
>My husband has developed a terrible drinking habit
"She fucked a coworker that wasn't me, time to drown my sorrows."
Yeah. That was my first thought.
He was upset because she is willing to sleep with a married man. But he was not that married man.
It's such a horrible situation for OOP. Her hopefully-STBX is going to make her pay for half his debt, when he is also cheating on her.
Some years ago, my SIL was talking about wanting to find a (nice) perfume (not the kind you can get at Walmart; the kind you might get from a nice department store). She mentioned that she really liked our mother's perfume, and asked my brother if he knew what perfume Mom wore, and my brother *emphatically* responded "No. You CANNOT smell like my mother!" Because, of course, the mental/memory associations with scents are very powerful, and he was absolutely not willing to have his wife smell like his mother – which was totally reasonable!! (My SIL very quickly understood this and kept looking for her own perfume.)
That was what I thought of as soon as I saw the title of the original post.
I mentioned offhandedly to my ex when we were fragrance shopping that I liked a certain type of scents, and gave an example of one I had picked out for a former ex. He took that as a cue to buy the same cologne and drown himself in it.
Original ex was horrendously abusive, verbally, financially, and sexually, at times physically. I told him I didn't want him to wear it, but he wasn't very well off and it was expensive, so I felt bad about it. I bought him a different one when he ran out but he never wore it, insisting on replacing the one he bought.
The relationship ended for other reasons due to my health, and he actually was a wonderful person who would rather rip his own arms off and eat them than ever make me cry or hurt me. My not mentioning it was my decision.
Anyway, shopping for my husband he liked the smell of the same cologne and I told him I did too, but I don't want him to wear it bc I have a bad memory linked to it. (This is 10 years later, I'm no longer afraid to speak up and have no reason to hesitate to tell my husband just about anything.) He sat it down and we picked out another one together that matches so well with his body chemistry and I love it to much. He's worn it for years.
Sometimes I buy him new ones I know he will like (with ASD and aversion to change, I pretty much know immediately if he will like something or not) and he will switch them up when he feels like it, but he still has his go-to.
It's also interesting how differently the same perfume/cologne will react with different people's body chemistry. Two people can dab on the same perfume, and it can smell totally different on each of them.
Absolutely. The difference in people's body chemistry, bc of factors like genetics, health conditions, gut/skin biomes, diet, sweat levels, etc absolutely does change scents.
I love different scents and perfumes, so I've played around with them on my own body to see how they perform, and found that musk, overly rosy/Jasmine, woody, and a few other notes do not flatter me. Some scents straight up start to smell like BO or other unpleasant things after awhile.
That's why I always recommend people to get testers or those swatch strips and try them for a few days to see how they play out and get opinions from trusted people. Good fragrances cost more money generally, and it isn't a purchase you want to make hastily only to find out that it doesn't suit you later on.
My kids have gotten heavily into cologne, and while some of them give me a migraine, there is only one that is off limits. Their father wore Chrome exclusively and was horribly abusive to me. One small whiff of it in a crowd and I’m sweating and feeling like I’m going to vomit.
They were confused about the ban until I told them how much it upsets me. People really don’t get how strong the scent/memory association is until they experience it. I don’t blame your brother AT ALL for not wanting his wife to smell like his mother. That’s a nightmare lol
TBH Victoria’s Secret I believe purposefully make it more comfortable for men to go, as the ones I went to all have a lot of male staff. One of the ones I’ve been to even have the male staff wear suits.
But of course most men who never even tried to go with their girl would never know
Victoria’s Secret was originally made for men to shop for women. The founder felt embarrassed shopping for lingerie for his wife, so he made the store with the idea that it’d be a safe & comfortable space for men to shop.
Somewhere down the line, they realized that women spend more so they started catering to women more (pretty sure this was after they were bought out). But that wasn’t the original intention.
Yeah that’s what I thought when I went in the first time. Now they do have a lot more female staff, which is understandable just like you said as the biggest spenders would be females
I feel like some dudes be sitting around thinking “hehe heh she’ll never know. Mwaaahahhahaaaa”
Meanwhile they’re the most obvious mfr in existence and it’s insanely easy to see. And whatever magnitude of stupidity they think their “mark” is….he’s that stupid x10. I feel like I spent my entire high school and college job years around a lot of people like this. The type of folks that’ll show you their “balance” on an online mobile game there addicted to like it’s real life and they’re gaming a system.
Damn, that hadn't occurred to me.
On its own, I don't think the perfume was the issue. But combined with other things, it starts to show as a pattern.
* "Work wife" (although it's unclear whether he gave Annie that term or if OOP did).
* He's always talking about her.
* Plus another personal feature—the eyeliner.
* Refusing to answer his wife's hypothetical of if the tables were turned.
And that was before the asshole said he'd sleep with Annie if he weren't married.
"Crush? Noooo. No, no, no. Not a crush. But I'd like to fuck her."
>> And for those who were wondering what the perfume was it was Lovespell
I’m sorry but this dude really destroyed his marriage for *that* Victoria secret fragrance??
I did a hardcore rolling of my eyes in disgust and my 90s childhood self can smell it from all the girls who drowned themselves in it in middle school.
For real!!! (prefacing this by saying i'm a perfume hobbyist so i'll admit to a huge bias on my part haha)
Like dont get me wrong, i adore VS fragrances and lovespell is popular for a reason but all i can think of when i hear lovespell is my classmates drenching themselves in it in high school lmao. This man really ruined his marriage for LOVESPELL. Not even something "higher end" like Black Opium or...like...V&Rs Flowerbomb... 🤣
I just bought a bottle of Flowerbomb. I love it, but my husband said it is just OK. I wonder if I should get some Lovespell 🤣 I would certainly save some money.
I'm definitely wearing it! My signature scent has been Prada Paradoxe. He loves that, but I wanted to change it up sometimes. I'll definitely try out the spicebomb flanker if I get a chance.
My gf loves Versace Dark Crystal and Bright Crystal.
She watched a video where apparently one scent attracts men and the other women and got some samples to test it with. Well turns out she loves them both.
(And the test results she got match the video. Was kinda funny watching her walk around our local games store asking people which smell they preferred.)
They’re fucking gorgeous and I love them both. Not sure what Lovespell is like but I imagine it’s one step up from Impulse body spray.
Country! I’m Aussie.
Impulse sprays were the in thing. I can still smell my sisters green can she sprayed about half of in the lounge room every morning.
There's only one scent in Australia that would make me consider throwing away my marriage over.
https://www.chemistwarehouse.com.au/buy/101325/victoria-bitter-vb-thirst-edt-75ml
For me, the high school fragrance is a Tommy Hilfiger one. I still detect it once in a blue moon and it reminds me of a friend who used to wear it.
Davidoff Cool Water was another popular high school one.
I’m interested if you’ve ever tried Mojave Ghost by Byredo and if it’s worth the cost? It’s not sold near me so I’d have to buy it without smelling it first.
It’s the fragrance every preteen gravitates to when they think they’re an adult and should smell like an adult. It’s overly fruity and sweet and if you wanted to be “cool” you got the body mist with glitter. Nothing that’s worth throwing your entire marriage away for
I once prosecuted an affray case and the defendants 5 of them aged 18/20 actually turned up in suits and ties looking like a boyband - but every one was drenched in a different version of Lynx - had to ask for the courtroom windows to be opened as the air conditioning couldn't cope....
Even in high school, I couldn't understand the attraction to Lynx. It has never smelled good. Someone in my apartment building must wear it too, because if I leave just after them, the stairway stinks of it.
Was about to ask the same question.
If Annie is specifically going after married men (assumption based on the two we know about), I wonder if she's looking for a sugar daddy or trophy wife situation. She could also be an idiot who has a specific kink
Let's just say it isn't the apex of feminine perfumery. It's a very sweet, very synthetic, very strong fragrance marketed to teenagers. Djedi it is not.
Perfume hobbyists have long realised that it’s mostly us who like complex scents, the general public will turn their heads for some dollar store body mist or a VS fragrance looool
I just wanna know what note in a layered scent it is that is so common with older women and seniors that absolutely burns my friggin nose hairs off.
It's SO unpleasant, strong like gasoline and I can't isolate it. It obviously can't smell bad to everyone, or else it wouldn't be in so many perfumes. Maybe I'm just over sensitive.
It reminds me of my mom's late 80's/ early 90's big as a boat Cadillac with the ash trays and bench seat, cigarettes way overdue for ashing, old ladies sitting around gossiping after church in ridiculous hats and shoulder pad suitcoats with brooches on the pockets and finding truly old items in a thrift store or estate sale.
Maybe either synthetic vanilla or I know a lot of the popular scents nowadays like Ariana’s Cloud has this ‘marshmallow’ note that either smells wonderful to some people or smell like burnt plastic in a dentist’s office to me
>**OOP:** No. I’m not sending what are basically third hand rumors to the HR department of a company I don’t even work for. + No. I am personally sure of it but I don’t have solid proof. There’s plenty of people that work there that can go to HR or that man’s wife.
That's the correct option. If she doesn't know for sure, meddling is not a good call.
It is never a good idea to wade into the affairs of others, literal or otherwise. You don't know what arrangements that couple might have. You don't know if there's even really anything going on. Just mind your own business.
Absolutely. Frankly, a decent HR will not be impressed with a rumor with no evidence about an affair between two colleagues, when her only connection is that one of the couple is one of her ex-husband’s colleague. Even if they feel they have to investigate, they will be not best pleased to be dragged into what is transparently a marital issue between an employee and someone they have no professional relationship with.
'OOP on if she thinks she did something wrong for her husband'
Who tf is asking these questions?? Not only is it irrelevant, but it makes women like OOP feel like on top of the already way over 50% of work load that they do, that somehow they are ALSO responsible for what, making their husband not have an affair while at work?? Insane. Truly never enough.
Yeah, that pissed me off too. She could be the worst wife in the world and it still wouldn't justify cheating! If he's miserable, he should leave... But I rather suspect he's perfectly happy using her as a bangmaid until someone he prefers comes along.
You're never enough for a cheater. They always have a reason to tell you you could have prevented cheating.
You could have stayed sexy and fit during pregnancy. You could have been nicer while you were grieving. You could have been understanding when he was depressed and cheated. You could have been calmer when he "just" had a crush.
You could have always done better because in their mind it's never their fault.
I think that it isn’t the crux of the story but I’m hung up on the fact that he asked her to buy a perfume for herself so she could smell like his ~~mistress-elect~~ work wife.
The combination of laziness, cheapness and stupidity makes it perhaps unsurprising that his crush chose a different married man to bestow her affections on.
I learned about the term "work wife/husband" from reddit stories like this. I have never once in my life heard the term used, even in a joking manner, anywhere I've worked. Nor have I heard of any friends or family using it or hearing someone use it in their work.
Why does anyone think that using the term unironically for a coworker while in a relationship with someone else is okay? My only impressions of it are from stories like this where a work spouse is basically a giant neon sign, brass band, and Alex Terrible on a megaphone screaming "THESE TWO ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR!" while following the two of them around.
I feel like the terms are dropping out of fashion. When I entered the workforce 20ish years ago I heard it a lot but now I never hear it.
15-20 years ago if you worked closely with someone who was the opposite gender people would start referring to you as work husband and work wife.
My ex BiLs wife kinda used it.
A couple of her husbands workmates lived with them (they rented rooms, and saved up their money for house deposits. Allowed everyone to have some extra cash. Also carpooled) and she called them her second and third husbands. Because she saw them as often as her actual husband.
He used to make the joke too. “I’ll get your second husband on it.”
Of course slightly different context.
I first heard the term in the 90s, when I entered the workforce. It's likely older. Originally it didn't really have sexual overtones. It was just someone of the opposite sex you might be friendly with at the office. Like you wouldn't even be outside the office real life friends with the person. It was more a sarcastic statement of the fact that people tend to work so much that they spend more waking hours with work colleagues than spouses. I had a work wife (0 attraction to) and at one point a "work daughter" (I have no actual children) whom I mentored and years later is now a dear real life friend.
I've know many people with a work spouse. Somebody whom you're really tight with at work and get along with so well that other people think you're married to each other. And it doesn't extend outside of work.
My best friend and I called each other work wife and at one point I had a friend my husband referred to as my work boyfriend because we talked about shows and movies we liked and he'd bring me snacks to "feed the pregnant lady" when he got lunch. That was quite sometime ago, though, so I don't know if it's still a thing. I currently work at a school, so I doubt work spouse would be relieved well even jokingly, especially between myself and any of my kids' teachers.
My husband uses it for a former colleague from YEARS before he met me. They lived in the same neighborhood so they carpooled together, so they joked she was his "work wife." He's had no contact with her since he left the company. When I asked point-blank if he'd had feelings for her, he said, "I'd rather eat a raw cactus."
Eh, my ex husband had a work wife (he likely cheated on me toward the end, but not with her), in that they had pretty much the same job but could support role each other, worked remotely a lot on the same projects, so were frequently each other's companions on work trips and worked quite closely in the office together.
I knew and liked her and her husband, and even took my own trip to NYC with her after hearing that she'd gone with my ex there on a business trip, and despite being from there, they'd stayed in Hoboken and did nothing. We hung out at each other's places a lot.
He never asked me to smell like her, or I would have been annoyed.
My wife uses it in a very tongue in cheek way with her male coworker but my wife is bi with a preference for women, and her "work husband" is a dude that's 10 years her senior and we hang out with him and his actual wife sometimes, so it's all pretty chill.
If she started calling a female coworker our age her work wife, I wouldn't necessarily suspect cheating but it would probably make me uncomfortable enough that I'd ask her to stop.
amazing how when people are struggling financially many will turn to drinking or whatever spending habit.... when they don't have money!!
Also, one of my exes had this absolutely gorgeous perfume that smelt great on her
Now.... did I ever ask my partner (of 13 years and mother of my child) to wear that perfume? No, because it'd be reminding me of an ex. That's just dumb
Additionally: whoever started coining them terms of "work-wife/husband" needs to have a rock in their shoe forever. Most stupid shit ever
>Additionally: whoever started coining them terms of "work-wife/husband" needs to have a rock in their shoe forever. Most stupid shit ever
Sounds like something started by some awful sitcom, honestly.
>I help him with everything. He’s working on furthering his degree so while he’s at work if I’m not busy **I write his discussion board replies**,
I do NOT understand people who do this for someone else, and I do NOT understand people who ask or allow someone to do it
I guess these people don’t see the class as an opportunity to learn something; they see it as a checkbox to tick off.
Thank you for saying this!! Depending on the classes he is taking, those discussion boards could have been for class points. She was literally doing his homework for him!
Eff no, I’m not doing that.
If I love my spouse and want to help them with their class I help them Learn. Read out loud to them if they do better with verbal input than text, quiz them with flashcards they made, proofread papers, let them run through presentations with me as an audience.
Not do their work For them so they learn nothing.
I know, I was like, oh there must be a new perfume called lovespell because it surely can't be that cheap purple bottle spray on VS shit that I used to love 20 years ago.
the fact she said he came out of the room, wrapped his arms around her and said that if he wasn't married he'd sleep with her??? is wild?? the disgust I would feel if my SO said that while holding me 🤢🤢🤢 so so glad she got rid of him!
There is also a thing about perfums.
It combines with the unique body chemistry of the wearer with the perfum. The result can be very different. Love it, hate it, meh.
Only give perfums as a gift, if you know their preferred scent. Don't gift something you like, because it works with you personally.
While I do get that fragrances are different for everyone, but I have a hard time grasping the idea that some garbage scent is going to go well with anyone at all
If you test a scent and you don't like it, you won't use it, either garbage or an expensive scent.
Some perfumes are made with cheap, artificial ingredients, one smell and...no, just no.
Better perfumes use natural ingredients, better quality, higher prices.
First test: - on the test paper
Second test: - on your skin, few seconds after applying, wrist or inside ellbow
Third test: on your skin, same spot, three to five minutes after applying
Man, that perfume thing is the oldest trick in tbe book for cheaters. But you're at supposed to give the fling the wife's perfume, not the other way around. At least according to every old black white "who done it" I've seen.
Also I hope she's getting legally divorced if he's doing illegal stuff. Restitution is no joke and she could be on the hook for it all unless she's divorced
It was worded a bit weird but did he wrap his arm around her while he was drunk and say he'd sleep with his coworker if he wasn't married? Even drunk, I'd never say something that outrageously disrespectful to a stranger, let alone my own wife
The choice in perfume, the proclivity for married men, just screams *tacky* for the husband's co-worker. And he's drinking to take his mind off that?
I hope he's drinking to forget how fucking desperate and stupid he was to fall for that bullshit. I hope OOP finds herself of quality and dumps this loser.
Meanwhile, my husband went on a couple day trip by himself to a concert with friends and told me someone on the plane had the same perfume as me and it made him miss me. These dudes have some audacity
Has the "partner talking about a new person of the other sex to their partner" ever a good thing, happened to me ex was talking about her new friend is a boxer and I should do it, 2 weeks later shes fucking him while we were living at my parents to save for a house and we had a kid. Has is ever been innocent for anyone here?
Reddit's like university for relationships. I feel ten times more ready for dating after creepin on this thing for a few years than I did back when I was dating all the time. I'll never treat a woman like this, and I'll also never get played again. I'm sure of it. No mercy.
That went downhill fast! I feel so sad for OOP that perfume was what showed her what seems to have been an emotional affair between her husband and the coworker. At least she is getting out with her dignity intact.
I hate that "work wife" stuff! Someone called me a friend's work wife *in front of his actual wife* (yuck) and I immediately corrected it to "work sibling." Now I'm friends with his wife too, so I ended up getting a bonus friend.
I hate the whole "work-wife"/"work-husband" spiel. Very disrespectful and very telling.
I had worked for the same man for 25 years who owned his own company. I would be very upset if someone used those terms. I've been married for 32 years with love and respect for my husband. I respect and like my boss (married) and would never disrespect his wife like that. The thing I like most about him was he signed my paycheck and I believe the thing he liked most about me was I showed up to work and did a good job.
Just a tip: if you spouse is always talking about whoever at work it's because they want them. Once they stop talking about then, it's because they are doing then.
Have to admit the minute my highschool bestie stopped wearing Lovespell i picked it up and it’s my go-to, i love the smell and it reminds me of our old hijinks together.
You have serious, unresolved issues and problems if you're so wishy washy on relationships. My Dad is like this. He's constantly, "Woe is me, no one wants me," yet he's the one who divorced everyone he's married because he keeps meeting younger and hotter girls at his work spaces, and uses separation as an excuse to cheat.
Dudes and Gals like this will have a nice, good relationship/marriage, but proceed to throw it all away when they meet this younger, hotter person at their work. They convince themselves they're in love, that their marriage is false, that they need to love and marry this new hot younger person. They're equating lust with Love/Stability. Then, whether It happens quickly or years later, they get a surprised Pikachu face when their supposed soulmate turns around and does the same thing to them.
Be better. If your brain has a sudden rush of every flowery feeling under the sun at the sight of this sexcellent youngin, ignore your wildebeest instincts and slow down. Your spontaneous lust is not worth blowing up everything in your life.
any time you are doing a partner's homework for them instead of them doing it themselves you should consider throwing the whole partner away. that is what i have noticed over my years on this planet.
Why is OOP still trying to justify his affair(s)? Who knows if he's getting involved after AP is talking to new coworker dude.
Divorce. Get rid of. Move on. He's not worth the headache. Spread his business around so he's known as a cheater. You reap what you sow, now or previous.
she should have just bought the perfume.
if you can't do something the person you're in a relationship with, asks you to do, you're not really in a relationship.
Ask any of your hooked up gentlemen friends if they've ever been sent to the barber with a picture of an actor/singer/model, that they got from thier significant other.
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>The whole Annie issue is over since she’s now sleeping with another coworker(he’s married!). >My husband has developed a terrible drinking habit "She fucked a coworker that wasn't me, time to drown my sorrows."
Yeah. That was my first thought. He was upset because she is willing to sleep with a married man. But he was not that married man. It's such a horrible situation for OOP. Her hopefully-STBX is going to make her pay for half his debt, when he is also cheating on her.
Petty me would wear Lovespell to our signing the divorce papers at the lawyer's office.
I like the way you think
"with money we don't have" fucking idiot
Poor thing realized it wasn't him Annie wanted. She just likes homewrecking. Whose home is irrelevant to her.
Exactly this
He wanted her to wear the same perfume so he'd have a plausible explanation if she ever caught him smelling like the coworker.
Orrrr.... he can smell it while they're intimate so he can imagine he's sleeping with her.
Some years ago, my SIL was talking about wanting to find a (nice) perfume (not the kind you can get at Walmart; the kind you might get from a nice department store). She mentioned that she really liked our mother's perfume, and asked my brother if he knew what perfume Mom wore, and my brother *emphatically* responded "No. You CANNOT smell like my mother!" Because, of course, the mental/memory associations with scents are very powerful, and he was absolutely not willing to have his wife smell like his mother – which was totally reasonable!! (My SIL very quickly understood this and kept looking for her own perfume.) That was what I thought of as soon as I saw the title of the original post.
I mentioned offhandedly to my ex when we were fragrance shopping that I liked a certain type of scents, and gave an example of one I had picked out for a former ex. He took that as a cue to buy the same cologne and drown himself in it. Original ex was horrendously abusive, verbally, financially, and sexually, at times physically. I told him I didn't want him to wear it, but he wasn't very well off and it was expensive, so I felt bad about it. I bought him a different one when he ran out but he never wore it, insisting on replacing the one he bought. The relationship ended for other reasons due to my health, and he actually was a wonderful person who would rather rip his own arms off and eat them than ever make me cry or hurt me. My not mentioning it was my decision. Anyway, shopping for my husband he liked the smell of the same cologne and I told him I did too, but I don't want him to wear it bc I have a bad memory linked to it. (This is 10 years later, I'm no longer afraid to speak up and have no reason to hesitate to tell my husband just about anything.) He sat it down and we picked out another one together that matches so well with his body chemistry and I love it to much. He's worn it for years. Sometimes I buy him new ones I know he will like (with ASD and aversion to change, I pretty much know immediately if he will like something or not) and he will switch them up when he feels like it, but he still has his go-to.
It's also interesting how differently the same perfume/cologne will react with different people's body chemistry. Two people can dab on the same perfume, and it can smell totally different on each of them.
Absolutely. The difference in people's body chemistry, bc of factors like genetics, health conditions, gut/skin biomes, diet, sweat levels, etc absolutely does change scents. I love different scents and perfumes, so I've played around with them on my own body to see how they perform, and found that musk, overly rosy/Jasmine, woody, and a few other notes do not flatter me. Some scents straight up start to smell like BO or other unpleasant things after awhile. That's why I always recommend people to get testers or those swatch strips and try them for a few days to see how they play out and get opinions from trusted people. Good fragrances cost more money generally, and it isn't a purchase you want to make hastily only to find out that it doesn't suit you later on.
Yup exactly!
this is why my husband cannot wear old spice. my grandfather used it. i'm sorry babe but you canNOT smell like grandpa.
My kids have gotten heavily into cologne, and while some of them give me a migraine, there is only one that is off limits. Their father wore Chrome exclusively and was horribly abusive to me. One small whiff of it in a crowd and I’m sweating and feeling like I’m going to vomit. They were confused about the ban until I told them how much it upsets me. People really don’t get how strong the scent/memory association is until they experience it. I don’t blame your brother AT ALL for not wanting his wife to smell like his mother. That’s a nightmare lol
I also considered this. What a pathetic man.
I love your username btw
Aw, thank you!
My thoughts exactly. What a loser.
why not both?
He could have got away with it for a bit longer if he'd been less lazy and bought it for her
But then he'd have to go into a Victoria's Secret and that would be far too embarrassing for a man
*motions around* the internet?? He could have ordered it online
TBH Victoria’s Secret I believe purposefully make it more comfortable for men to go, as the ones I went to all have a lot of male staff. One of the ones I’ve been to even have the male staff wear suits. But of course most men who never even tried to go with their girl would never know
Victoria’s Secret was originally made for men to shop for women. The founder felt embarrassed shopping for lingerie for his wife, so he made the store with the idea that it’d be a safe & comfortable space for men to shop. Somewhere down the line, they realized that women spend more so they started catering to women more (pretty sure this was after they were bought out). But that wasn’t the original intention.
Yeah that’s what I thought when I went in the first time. Now they do have a lot more female staff, which is understandable just like you said as the biggest spenders would be females
The simplicity of this versus blowing up his life for his fantasies makes me laugh
Seriously it's the oldest trick in the cheater's handbook!
I feel like some dudes be sitting around thinking “hehe heh she’ll never know. Mwaaahahhahaaaa” Meanwhile they’re the most obvious mfr in existence and it’s insanely easy to see. And whatever magnitude of stupidity they think their “mark” is….he’s that stupid x10. I feel like I spent my entire high school and college job years around a lot of people like this. The type of folks that’ll show you their “balance” on an online mobile game there addicted to like it’s real life and they’re gaming a system.
Damn, that hadn't occurred to me. On its own, I don't think the perfume was the issue. But combined with other things, it starts to show as a pattern. * "Work wife" (although it's unclear whether he gave Annie that term or if OOP did). * He's always talking about her. * Plus another personal feature—the eyeliner. * Refusing to answer his wife's hypothetical of if the tables were turned. And that was before the asshole said he'd sleep with Annie if he weren't married. "Crush? Noooo. No, no, no. Not a crush. But I'd like to fuck her."
>> And for those who were wondering what the perfume was it was Lovespell I’m sorry but this dude really destroyed his marriage for *that* Victoria secret fragrance??
Right? I saw Love Spell and my retinas almost detached from the amount and intensity of eye rolling I did.
I straight up cackled. I couldn’t believe it
I did a hardcore rolling of my eyes in disgust and my 90s childhood self can smell it from all the girls who drowned themselves in it in middle school.
I was that middle school girl lol... I can't stand the scent. It makes me cringe.
For real!!! (prefacing this by saying i'm a perfume hobbyist so i'll admit to a huge bias on my part haha) Like dont get me wrong, i adore VS fragrances and lovespell is popular for a reason but all i can think of when i hear lovespell is my classmates drenching themselves in it in high school lmao. This man really ruined his marriage for LOVESPELL. Not even something "higher end" like Black Opium or...like...V&Rs Flowerbomb... 🤣
I just bought a bottle of Flowerbomb. I love it, but my husband said it is just OK. I wonder if I should get some Lovespell 🤣 I would certainly save some money.
Lmaooo maybe! But if you love it, use it!! :) Have you had a chance to check out the spicebomb flanker?
I'm definitely wearing it! My signature scent has been Prada Paradoxe. He loves that, but I wanted to change it up sometimes. I'll definitely try out the spicebomb flanker if I get a chance.
Fun fact. Many moons ago, my ex did something similar *WITH FLOWERBOMB* Except he didn't *ask* me to buy it. He bought if for me as a gift. 🙃
Uhg I’m so sorry
My gf loves Versace Dark Crystal and Bright Crystal. She watched a video where apparently one scent attracts men and the other women and got some samples to test it with. Well turns out she loves them both. (And the test results she got match the video. Was kinda funny watching her walk around our local games store asking people which smell they preferred.) They’re fucking gorgeous and I love them both. Not sure what Lovespell is like but I imagine it’s one step up from Impulse body spray.
You just showed either your age or your country, lol. (Impulse hasn't been in the US since the 80s.)
Gods help me for remembering this. “If a man you’ve never met before suddenly gives you flowers, that’s Impulse!”
Country! I’m Aussie. Impulse sprays were the in thing. I can still smell my sisters green can she sprayed about half of in the lounge room every morning.
There's only one scent in Australia that would make me consider throwing away my marriage over. https://www.chemistwarehouse.com.au/buy/101325/victoria-bitter-vb-thirst-edt-75ml
Bahaha! Agreed!
So Drakkar Noir for the ladies?
More like Axe body spray.
Think high school boys blasting old spice in a gym locker room
For me, the high school fragrance is a Tommy Hilfiger one. I still detect it once in a blue moon and it reminds me of a friend who used to wear it. Davidoff Cool Water was another popular high school one.
LOL My favorite old school perfumes are tommygirl and clinique's happy. I LOVE cool water too. Nothing can make me hate them.
It's funny how strongly smells are associated with memory.
Lol I got that from my Mom’s boyfriend when I was like, 13. I can STILL smell it.
Instantly transports you back to that time, doesn't it?
He didn’t ruin it for perfume, he ruined it for a woman who got with someone else anyway.
Oh yeah, I don't disagree with that. Guy was goofing up long before the perfume thing! I'm just being a bit silly. 😅
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I’m interested if you’ve ever tried Mojave Ghost by Byredo and if it’s worth the cost? It’s not sold near me so I’d have to buy it without smelling it first.
Right? I read it and honestly gagged. Way too "teenage girl." Now, if it were something from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab....
Is it like the lynx Africa of perfumes or something?
It’s the fragrance every preteen gravitates to when they think they’re an adult and should smell like an adult. It’s overly fruity and sweet and if you wanted to be “cool” you got the body mist with glitter. Nothing that’s worth throwing your entire marriage away for
Thanks for the context, that's hilarious.
> It’s like overly fruity and sweet **Coughs guiltily**. That style of perfume may or may not be my favorite to smell.
Oh wow, the body mist with glitter brings me back to limited too days. Their green apple was so good.
I've got ptsd from lynx, 4 brothers, then the teen dating, then I made another male human... I think it's finally stopped, right?!
I once prosecuted an affray case and the defendants 5 of them aged 18/20 actually turned up in suits and ties looking like a boyband - but every one was drenched in a different version of Lynx - had to ask for the courtroom windows to be opened as the air conditioning couldn't cope....
Even in high school, I couldn't understand the attraction to Lynx. It has never smelled good. Someone in my apartment building must wear it too, because if I leave just after them, the stairway stinks of it.
My first ever migraine was triggered by a bunch of boys at my high school drenching my backpack in lynx as a joke :')
It's like fifteen dollars
More like axe body spray
It makes me wonder how old ‘Annie’ is… is she their age or like early twenties while they are early forties for example.
Was about to ask the same question. If Annie is specifically going after married men (assumption based on the two we know about), I wonder if she's looking for a sugar daddy or trophy wife situation. She could also be an idiot who has a specific kink
i fucking SCREECHED, the fragrance of cruel middle school girls everywhere!
“That” fragrance? Is there something about it?
Let's just say it isn't the apex of feminine perfumery. It's a very sweet, very synthetic, very strong fragrance marketed to teenagers. Djedi it is not.
Wow. Imagine blowing up your life over a crap perfume for teens. That’s tragic. Thanks very much for explaining!
>It's a very sweet, very synthetic, very strong fragrance marketed to teenagers Wait, did you just describe Mountain Dew?
I thought that was more for the boys?
It’s like the Ax/Lynx equivalent for middle school girls lol
This is the perfect explanation lol, immediately makes sense
Yeah any frag enthusiast is dumbfounded I'd sooner cheat over the Mrs. Meyers tomato vine hand soap or something.
Tomato vine and geranium are 🔥
If she needed proof it wasn’t actually about the perfume…
Perfume hobbyists have long realised that it’s mostly us who like complex scents, the general public will turn their heads for some dollar store body mist or a VS fragrance looool
I just wanna know what note in a layered scent it is that is so common with older women and seniors that absolutely burns my friggin nose hairs off. It's SO unpleasant, strong like gasoline and I can't isolate it. It obviously can't smell bad to everyone, or else it wouldn't be in so many perfumes. Maybe I'm just over sensitive. It reminds me of my mom's late 80's/ early 90's big as a boat Cadillac with the ash trays and bench seat, cigarettes way overdue for ashing, old ladies sitting around gossiping after church in ridiculous hats and shoulder pad suitcoats with brooches on the pockets and finding truly old items in a thrift store or estate sale.
Maybe either synthetic vanilla or I know a lot of the popular scents nowadays like Ariana’s Cloud has this ‘marshmallow’ note that either smells wonderful to some people or smell like burnt plastic in a dentist’s office to me
Oh hell yes! (Does it count as a hobby if I only wear one company but am utterly obsessed with them and have multiple favorites?)
And it costs a whole $10. He could have splurged and bought it for OOP as a gift.
Thank God other people are saying it I felt very judgy wudgy.
It wasn't even Rapture! (That stuff was good for VS)
Could’ve even been Bombshell! At least there’s a real PERFUME not a body MIST 💀
I love me some Lovespell. It’s a classic. But, he should have just bought it for her.
this was my favorite scent at 13. I still have a bottle for the mems but cannot imagine wearing it now.
He didn’t ruin his marriage over perfume, he ruined his marriage over a woman who chose someone else anyway.
It's not even a good scent. Smells cheap AF.
Is this like the Colleen Hoover of perfumes or something?
It's the Libby Chessler of perfumes.
I have no clue about perfumes but the name of that one is just too on the nose.
Right?! It's the worst fragrance, I've always hated it 😭
>**OOP:** No. I’m not sending what are basically third hand rumors to the HR department of a company I don’t even work for. + No. I am personally sure of it but I don’t have solid proof. There’s plenty of people that work there that can go to HR or that man’s wife. That's the correct option. If she doesn't know for sure, meddling is not a good call. It is never a good idea to wade into the affairs of others, literal or otherwise. You don't know what arrangements that couple might have. You don't know if there's even really anything going on. Just mind your own business.
Absolutely. Frankly, a decent HR will not be impressed with a rumor with no evidence about an affair between two colleagues, when her only connection is that one of the couple is one of her ex-husband’s colleague. Even if they feel they have to investigate, they will be not best pleased to be dragged into what is transparently a marital issue between an employee and someone they have no professional relationship with.
'OOP on if she thinks she did something wrong for her husband' Who tf is asking these questions?? Not only is it irrelevant, but it makes women like OOP feel like on top of the already way over 50% of work load that they do, that somehow they are ALSO responsible for what, making their husband not have an affair while at work?? Insane. Truly never enough.
Yeah, that pissed me off too. She could be the worst wife in the world and it still wouldn't justify cheating! If he's miserable, he should leave... But I rather suspect he's perfectly happy using her as a bangmaid until someone he prefers comes along.
You're never enough for a cheater. They always have a reason to tell you you could have prevented cheating. You could have stayed sexy and fit during pregnancy. You could have been nicer while you were grieving. You could have been understanding when he was depressed and cheated. You could have been calmer when he "just" had a crush. You could have always done better because in their mind it's never their fault.
I think that it isn’t the crux of the story but I’m hung up on the fact that he asked her to buy a perfume for herself so she could smell like his ~~mistress-elect~~ work wife. The combination of laziness, cheapness and stupidity makes it perhaps unsurprising that his crush chose a different married man to bestow her affections on.
Mistress elect just made me *cackle*
I learned about the term "work wife/husband" from reddit stories like this. I have never once in my life heard the term used, even in a joking manner, anywhere I've worked. Nor have I heard of any friends or family using it or hearing someone use it in their work. Why does anyone think that using the term unironically for a coworker while in a relationship with someone else is okay? My only impressions of it are from stories like this where a work spouse is basically a giant neon sign, brass band, and Alex Terrible on a megaphone screaming "THESE TWO ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR!" while following the two of them around.
I feel like the terms are dropping out of fashion. When I entered the workforce 20ish years ago I heard it a lot but now I never hear it. 15-20 years ago if you worked closely with someone who was the opposite gender people would start referring to you as work husband and work wife.
My ex BiLs wife kinda used it. A couple of her husbands workmates lived with them (they rented rooms, and saved up their money for house deposits. Allowed everyone to have some extra cash. Also carpooled) and she called them her second and third husbands. Because she saw them as often as her actual husband. He used to make the joke too. “I’ll get your second husband on it.” Of course slightly different context.
I first heard the term in the 90s, when I entered the workforce. It's likely older. Originally it didn't really have sexual overtones. It was just someone of the opposite sex you might be friendly with at the office. Like you wouldn't even be outside the office real life friends with the person. It was more a sarcastic statement of the fact that people tend to work so much that they spend more waking hours with work colleagues than spouses. I had a work wife (0 attraction to) and at one point a "work daughter" (I have no actual children) whom I mentored and years later is now a dear real life friend.
I've know many people with a work spouse. Somebody whom you're really tight with at work and get along with so well that other people think you're married to each other. And it doesn't extend outside of work.
My best friend and I called each other work wife and at one point I had a friend my husband referred to as my work boyfriend because we talked about shows and movies we liked and he'd bring me snacks to "feed the pregnant lady" when he got lunch. That was quite sometime ago, though, so I don't know if it's still a thing. I currently work at a school, so I doubt work spouse would be relieved well even jokingly, especially between myself and any of my kids' teachers.
My husband uses it for a former colleague from YEARS before he met me. They lived in the same neighborhood so they carpooled together, so they joked she was his "work wife." He's had no contact with her since he left the company. When I asked point-blank if he'd had feelings for her, he said, "I'd rather eat a raw cactus."
Eh, my ex husband had a work wife (he likely cheated on me toward the end, but not with her), in that they had pretty much the same job but could support role each other, worked remotely a lot on the same projects, so were frequently each other's companions on work trips and worked quite closely in the office together. I knew and liked her and her husband, and even took my own trip to NYC with her after hearing that she'd gone with my ex there on a business trip, and despite being from there, they'd stayed in Hoboken and did nothing. We hung out at each other's places a lot. He never asked me to smell like her, or I would have been annoyed.
My wife uses it in a very tongue in cheek way with her male coworker but my wife is bi with a preference for women, and her "work husband" is a dude that's 10 years her senior and we hang out with him and his actual wife sometimes, so it's all pretty chill. If she started calling a female coworker our age her work wife, I wouldn't necessarily suspect cheating but it would probably make me uncomfortable enough that I'd ask her to stop.
Lol, my dad used to have a "work wife," now she's my stepmom.
I bet he started drinking more because Annie rejected him and started fucking the other coworker.
she...was doing his classwork for him?...?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who reacted to this! Throw the whole man away.
Yeah I did that for a boyfriend once. In 8th grade.
All this for Lovespell perfume. I thought it would be something like Miss Dior or Baccarat or something else.
You read my freaking mind. My first thought was Black Opium.
it wans't about the perfume 😂 like it wasn't about the iranian yogurt nor about the mustard.
Lotion man
amazing how when people are struggling financially many will turn to drinking or whatever spending habit.... when they don't have money!! Also, one of my exes had this absolutely gorgeous perfume that smelt great on her Now.... did I ever ask my partner (of 13 years and mother of my child) to wear that perfume? No, because it'd be reminding me of an ex. That's just dumb Additionally: whoever started coining them terms of "work-wife/husband" needs to have a rock in their shoe forever. Most stupid shit ever
>Additionally: whoever started coining them terms of "work-wife/husband" needs to have a rock in their shoe forever. Most stupid shit ever Sounds like something started by some awful sitcom, honestly.
>I help him with everything. He’s working on furthering his degree so while he’s at work if I’m not busy **I write his discussion board replies**, I do NOT understand people who do this for someone else, and I do NOT understand people who ask or allow someone to do it I guess these people don’t see the class as an opportunity to learn something; they see it as a checkbox to tick off.
Thank you for saying this!! Depending on the classes he is taking, those discussion boards could have been for class points. She was literally doing his homework for him!
There’s no way they didn’t contribute to his grade. If it was optional you’d just ignore it.
Eff no, I’m not doing that. If I love my spouse and want to help them with their class I help them Learn. Read out loud to them if they do better with verbal input than text, quiz them with flashcards they made, proofread papers, let them run through presentations with me as an audience. Not do their work For them so they learn nothing.
Lovespell? Is this 2004? People still wear this? I mean I like it because it smells like a Fruit Roll Up, but still....
I know, I was like, oh there must be a new perfume called lovespell because it surely can't be that cheap purple bottle spray on VS shit that I used to love 20 years ago.
the fact she said he came out of the room, wrapped his arms around her and said that if he wasn't married he'd sleep with her??? is wild?? the disgust I would feel if my SO said that while holding me 🤢🤢🤢 so so glad she got rid of him!
There is also a thing about perfums. It combines with the unique body chemistry of the wearer with the perfum. The result can be very different. Love it, hate it, meh. Only give perfums as a gift, if you know their preferred scent. Don't gift something you like, because it works with you personally.
While I do get that fragrances are different for everyone, but I have a hard time grasping the idea that some garbage scent is going to go well with anyone at all
If you test a scent and you don't like it, you won't use it, either garbage or an expensive scent. Some perfumes are made with cheap, artificial ingredients, one smell and...no, just no. Better perfumes use natural ingredients, better quality, higher prices. First test: - on the test paper Second test: - on your skin, few seconds after applying, wrist or inside ellbow Third test: on your skin, same spot, three to five minutes after applying
Man, that perfume thing is the oldest trick in tbe book for cheaters. But you're at supposed to give the fling the wife's perfume, not the other way around. At least according to every old black white "who done it" I've seen. Also I hope she's getting legally divorced if he's doing illegal stuff. Restitution is no joke and she could be on the hook for it all unless she's divorced
Wow...that escalated quickly.
It was worded a bit weird but did he wrap his arm around her while he was drunk and say he'd sleep with his coworker if he wasn't married? Even drunk, I'd never say something that outrageously disrespectful to a stranger, let alone my own wife
I love how even Annie got a good look at OOP's hubby and noped right out and onto the next married guy.
I’m sure he’ll change his mind when he gets to jail
Yeah... Throw the whole man away, he ain't worth it.
The perfume was Love Spell? Are they all 15 in 2003?
Yeah, there are no ages listed but everybody involved has to have been born in a year starting with 2
So she fucked another co worker and not hubby so hubby started drinking. Bet hubby tried to fuck her and she turned him down.
The choice in perfume, the proclivity for married men, just screams *tacky* for the husband's co-worker. And he's drinking to take his mind off that? I hope he's drinking to forget how fucking desperate and stupid he was to fall for that bullshit. I hope OOP finds herself of quality and dumps this loser.
Meanwhile, my husband went on a couple day trip by himself to a concert with friends and told me someone on the plane had the same perfume as me and it made him miss me. These dudes have some audacity
Wow. Just wow. 😮 Annie you vixen 💅 Dude is in love with her. Poor woman she didn’t stand a chance 😢
Ugh, he wanted OOP to smell like Annie so he could fantasize during sex, is my speculation. What a horrible man. I’m glad OOP dumped him.
Has the "partner talking about a new person of the other sex to their partner" ever a good thing, happened to me ex was talking about her new friend is a boxer and I should do it, 2 weeks later shes fucking him while we were living at my parents to save for a house and we had a kid. Has is ever been innocent for anyone here?
Do straight people really have zero self control?
Apparently. I’m bisexual and have friends of all genders and my gf doesn’t give a shit. My straight ex had issues.
Reddit's like university for relationships. I feel ten times more ready for dating after creepin on this thing for a few years than I did back when I was dating all the time. I'll never treat a woman like this, and I'll also never get played again. I'm sure of it. No mercy.
Hope oop gets rid of the deadweight and becomes the best version of herself.
That went downhill fast! I feel so sad for OOP that perfume was what showed her what seems to have been an emotional affair between her husband and the coworker. At least she is getting out with her dignity intact.
I hope oop divorces him soon as his debt will keep increasing and might be her problem, depending on the law where they live.
I hate that "work wife" stuff! Someone called me a friend's work wife *in front of his actual wife* (yuck) and I immediately corrected it to "work sibling." Now I'm friends with his wife too, so I ended up getting a bonus friend.
That was crazy. Expect the unexpected literally
The most realistic one in ages
I hate the whole "work-wife"/"work-husband" spiel. Very disrespectful and very telling. I had worked for the same man for 25 years who owned his own company. I would be very upset if someone used those terms. I've been married for 32 years with love and respect for my husband. I respect and like my boss (married) and would never disrespect his wife like that. The thing I like most about him was he signed my paycheck and I believe the thing he liked most about me was I showed up to work and did a good job.
That's not what the term means, it's more like someone who is your work bestie who happens to be the opposite sex.
Just a tip: if you spouse is always talking about whoever at work it's because they want them. Once they stop talking about then, it's because they are doing then.
A reminder for the everyone. If your spouse has a “work spouse”, it’s cheating. It won’t end well. You need to move on.
Have to admit the minute my highschool bestie stopped wearing Lovespell i picked it up and it’s my go-to, i love the smell and it reminds me of our old hijinks together.
You have serious, unresolved issues and problems if you're so wishy washy on relationships. My Dad is like this. He's constantly, "Woe is me, no one wants me," yet he's the one who divorced everyone he's married because he keeps meeting younger and hotter girls at his work spaces, and uses separation as an excuse to cheat. Dudes and Gals like this will have a nice, good relationship/marriage, but proceed to throw it all away when they meet this younger, hotter person at their work. They convince themselves they're in love, that their marriage is false, that they need to love and marry this new hot younger person. They're equating lust with Love/Stability. Then, whether It happens quickly or years later, they get a surprised Pikachu face when their supposed soulmate turns around and does the same thing to them. Be better. If your brain has a sudden rush of every flowery feeling under the sun at the sight of this sexcellent youngin, ignore your wildebeest instincts and slow down. Your spontaneous lust is not worth blowing up everything in your life.
Dumbass wanted wife to buy the same perfume just so she wouldn't notice when he came home stinking of her
any time you are doing a partner's homework for them instead of them doing it themselves you should consider throwing the whole partner away. that is what i have noticed over my years on this planet.
Anybody who uses the term "work wife" or the male equivalent unironically in your relationship is fuckin moron. Like wtf even is that.
Why is OOP still trying to justify his affair(s)? Who knows if he's getting involved after AP is talking to new coworker dude. Divorce. Get rid of. Move on. He's not worth the headache. Spread his business around so he's known as a cheater. You reap what you sow, now or previous.
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I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand what your cat is trying to type.
she should have just bought the perfume. if you can't do something the person you're in a relationship with, asks you to do, you're not really in a relationship.
Right. The solution is to just smell like the woman your husband wants to cheat on you with.
I don't know what I was thinking. It's not as if any woman ever tried to change anything about a man.
Did she try to change something about him because of someone she had an inappropriate crush on? Must have missed that.
Ask any of your hooked up gentlemen friends if they've ever been sent to the barber with a picture of an actor/singer/model, that they got from thier significant other.
Sure, and then I’ll ask them if their significant other was in the middle of developing a close emotional affair with that actor/singer/model.
see if they were on her hall pass.
And they were willing parties to that emotional affair.
And drenched his clothes in it before she left his arse.