T O P

  • By -

Nefarity

Children.


BlueImposter99

the scariest thingy of them all


Ok-Extension-3111

Younglings


EYElovesam

Plot twist: he calls in Anakin


Crispy_Cremes_Pizza

this made me laugh, take my damn upvote


Aggravating-Week9289

A tasty snack, will make a nice distraction


Unlicensed-Dork

r/cursedcomments


Current-Knowledge336

I have put it there.


mrfisher5

Yes.


Thy_Councillor

Orphans


Nefarity

Maybe.


Xenciv

Crap. I made the same joke, then saw this. Screw it, I'm leaving it up. Congrats on beating me to it.


JamesAfton

No one else a boat or down vote this it must stay at this number it must stay at 69


Visionaira

I had the same word in mind


Scrap_reaper

Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination, stick a shotgun up his nose and call it education


Express-Ad-1864

Nice one


MrLavaCreeper

call it detonation*


EnzoLoool

Call it decapitation*


KittenTehSmol

deformation*


[deleted]

Demonstration*


FoxGamingmc

If this goes to r/cursedcomments can I be in the screenshot?


popanator3000

[I got you](https://www.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/wspp1j/cursed_barney_theme/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


FoxGamingmc

Thanks


Mediocre_Savings_513

You use light mode....


popanator3000

yes, I'm more comfortable with it, my phone is almost always at like 15-30% brightness, so its easier to see the light mode


Mark3698

Redditors when I send them to the shadow realm (they suddenly started to like light mode):


GoldenGamer4853

Funniest shit I've seen in a while


[deleted]

The one I remember from my childhood is >Joy to the world, 'cause Barney's dead. >We barbecued his head! >Who cares about the body? >We flushed it down the potty. >And around and around it goes, >And around and around it goes And I don't remember how it resolves. There's also one about the studio burning down, but I don't remember the words.


TeamSkullGrunt54

Mine was "I love you, You love me Let's go out and kill Barney With a chainsaw, let's cut through his stupid head Now let's dance because he's dead" Edit: Also 'Barney is on fire'


rootoomoo

Mine was almost like this it was I hate you, you hate me Let's team up and kill barney And I don't remember the rest but there was burning down school


randomguy283

I always hear stick a pencil up his arse and he died from constipation


CarrotFoxx

that is genius


Logical_Signature_51

Barney is a dinosaur with a blown up nose Whenever he sneezes blood goes on our faces 🥰


banananas_are_sick24

It just doesn’t have the same ring to it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Temporary-Tax

Ayayayayaya


SubnauticaCyclops

(INTENSE BASE DROP)


[deleted]

r/unexpectedjojo


Jason42859

Tch, you need other people, I just need my hands Because the most dangerous type of person is an drunken pissed off scotsman that knows kung fu, I’m just Scottish


Jumpy-Run3955

What about a Scotsman with explosives


cnbviper2

Demoman from tf2


ilike_beanz

Shush before I die from an asma attack laughing too much


Jason42859

I was referring to one using there bare hands


MiniProkk

Asteroid


still_cis

[Why do you think he’s been getting so built?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Bossfight/comments/vtfxej/slamasaurchadsavior_of_the_dinosaursking_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


AcCiDeNt_BrO

Expecting a Rick roll, was genuinely suprised


Significant-Range-49

Barney: “I managed to survive the first one, but I don’t thing I’m going to this time


Ok-Extension-3111

Indominus Rex


EpicCheeto

r/beatmetoit


-D0l0s-

My hands... With which I will turn the thermostat down to 16°C or less, if possible. Let's see how your mesothermic body stands against my superior homeothermic body!


The_Law_Dong739

Did you just call your body gay?


Crispy_Cremes_Pizza

no, he called his body hot


QuiloWisp

Nah he called his bod his homie.


Express-Ad-1864

Self love


Crispy_Cremes_Pizza

No, he called his body 60% lighter fluid


McMuffinTheGreat

selfcest


NahDontLook

The best kind of cest!


[deleted]

happy cake day


Warthog_go_brrrr

As an introverted aroace, this is approved


The_Law_Dong739

Self gay


_Johaness_Beaumann

Hey come on man its 2022 they aren't mutually exclusive


mschellh000

Is there a difference?


[deleted]

¿Por qué no los dos?


-D0l0s-

Homeothermic is warm blooded... as in the organism can regulate it's body temperature


The_Law_Dong739

I know what it means. However, homeo


-D0l0s-

Oh... so you knew what it meant... In which case, do continue


The_Law_Dong739

Mmm, no. It's nap time


-D0l0s-

K...


JamesAfton

If you’re doing it like that then it should be homo but in other cases —> Homosapien


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tyranatitan_x105

Why not just use a fridge with an ice dispenser


-D0l0s-

... I was making a nerdy joke, but I'm fine with this too


JamesAfton

I like you you’re funny


GrnPlesioth

Heh, homo


Gee101010

Barneymachines, son


ConqueringKing_Darq

Making the mother of all omelets here Gee101010, can't fret over every egg! 💥👊🏼💥


[deleted]

*Standing here, I realize* *You were just like me, we're a happy family*


methdetal66

Played college ball ya know. Coulda gone pro if I hadn't joined the navy


hoiabaciufan10

Taxes.


The_Challenges

Tax evasion is a crime vergil Its an OBLIGATION!


Here_For_Work_

His power is derived from the happy family, so divorce.


SadGruntie

I Will Hug Him


UnknownFox37

WE WILL WIN WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP


152069

The True Ending


Hunter_Plastic

Porn addiction.


HotShrekBoi

How are you going to fight a buff humanoid T. rex with porn addiction?


DaGothUrWelcUwUmsYou

Sex


HotShrekBoi

Cum


ccmanxx

Cock


[deleted]

[удалено]


aevana

That's just a cloaca


Fingernailss

gonna break this before it goes any further


simonthebathwater225

Like breaking the mind? Like ahegao?


Fingernailss

break the chain


HotShrekBoi

Cussy


LooseLeave715

A Cross and a holy hand grenade


No_Dot3833

the bible.


KnGod

I pray for a deus ex machina


OwnManufacturer4384

oh everytime you kill him he multiplies


[deleted]

use more gun


hobbitmax999

And if that don't work... Wait a second


MEM-brain

Then a keyblade, split him into 2 beings and he ain't multiplying when he ain't complete


ImScared93lol

*Xehanort has entered the chat*


ImurderREALITY

Beat him unconscious with a huge dildo from Saints Row and then keep him as my ~~sex slave,~~ sorry, my ~~sex slave,~~ sorry, my ~~sex slave,~~ sorry, my *personal* sex slave.


goldensavage216

Then just make home wish he was dead


erganjah

Atom bomb, just deintegrate it


SamGrandeel

With you


general3009

the hardest choices require the strongest wills


DespairSam

57 leaf clover and a fking ukulele


ForsakenBeef69

Two daggers. I'll definitely die but at least I'd get to feel like a cool assassin.


Chanpi2

Nanomachines, they harden in responce to phisical trauma


the96305childeater

Standing here, I realize you were Just like me trying to make history. But who's to judge the right from wrong. When our guard is down I think we'll both agree. That violence breeds violence. But in the end it has to be this way. I've curved my own path, you've followed your wrath; But maybe we're both the same. The world has turned, and so many have burned. But nobody is to blame. It's tearing across this barren wasted land. I feel new life could be born beneath The blood stained sand.


bluffing_illusionist

you're supposed to spell physical with a 'y'


Lavenderixin

I love you You love me Let’s go out and kill Barney With a great big shot Barney is on the floor No more Barney the dinosaur


semondlayer

When barney doesn't want to be friends with you


Still_Pineapple_7852

Flaemthrowmer


Salty_Two_1012

Hans holt den Flammenwerfer


stupidtyler

That's my little brothers lock screen wallpaper


Reetardasaurus

Shaggy


[deleted]

Be careful summoning Him. If He uses more than 0.1% of His full power, there won't be an Earth left for us to enjoy without the threat of Buff Barney.


andreeeeeaaaaaaaaa

Throw kids at him


Upbeat_Animal290

I flex you, you flex me Let's go out and flex at barney


Toucan_Goes_ZoomZoom

I choose a spoon.


StandOpening

only a spoonful


ccmanxx

*Pulls out comically large spoon*


Mastercoolgr

I would do what they did: https://youtu.be/AZYErjxUqyE


MrNoobkk

Doom Slayer sword


ItsVines

Anti protein shake


DrProfCricketCC

The children didn't love him back, so this is what became of him.


PlantainSame

He's from our imagination so a teleporter to a place that kills imagination some type of horrible hybrid between college and the DMV


Crispy_Cremes_Pizza

ill use love. Ill love him so much he doesn't wanna fight me thwn ill be his friends for years, slowly but surely putting him under my control. Then I'll emotionally abuse him for a month. I'll buy stuff for him everyday judt to force him to pay it all back in a single day. I'll make him feel like nobody else in the world matters except me. I'll spread rumors about him, causing everyone to stay away from him, causing him to need me even more. Then one day, I'll just vanish, leaving him with nobody. By this time he'd have lost most of his perfect physique and he'll be body shammed constantly. He'll eventually lose it. Then I'll go back to his house and put a rope at his doorstep. he'll think its a mesage from a higher being, he'll think even the gods think he's worthless. Finally, causing him to end his life bu hanging. He'll do it wrong and end up choking slowly instead of breaking his neck instantly. This will be his final regret.


UNKNOWN-SPECIES666

Emotional Damage


rco209

any weapon from r/itemshop


october519

Elmo


Wizard_Engie

Judging by his musculature and the possible strength of his hide, I'd use buckshot, .300 Winchester, or 7mm. Then I would proceed to harvest his hide and consume the meat - after cooking it up first - for my hypothetical family. If it doesn't work, however, I'd probably go with at least a 50 caliber round.


CiaranCarroll

Sexual abuse allegations


Dalphin_person

The holy mackerel


verdad808

Scottish claymore. Powerful enough to cut a man in half or behead a horse. So he's getting one or both of those


[deleted]

An asteroid. …too soon?


Loud_Citron_8717

Volcano hand


StabilerDorsch

Guns


[deleted]

A 4x4


Relevant_Evidence455

A bunch of children willing to be his friend


[deleted]

TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING!!!!


SilverStarzStudios

Simple! *proceeds to perform the ritual* Now, I can summon characters from fictional worlds! Who do y’all want to help fight?


The-_-Unknownoneme

Gimme a glock put us back in '99 and call me schlatt


SupaDiogenes

If this isn't posted every single damn day, are you even on r/bossfight?


EuphoricDark4469

So muscular but no penis 😭


NotOneIWantToBe

The only way to win is to take a shotgun and precisely shoot your brains out


TopParticular3814

White flag of surrender aint no way im killing barney the destroyer


StandOpening

you traitor! you were meant to destroy him, not join him!


non-bi-tch-nary

the backyardagains in riot gear


[deleted]

The power of Christ. That is the only thing that has a chance to beat this beast.


Thawedgameryt2

My ⅛ inch dick


Accomplished_Gap5536

A fucking minegun


[deleted]

A mallet Smash his shiny teeth in so he swallow them


Magical_Potat0e

a minigun that shoots rockets


R6loverzz

20 MM vulcan minigun (6000 rpm setting)


[deleted]

The greatest enemy of every meat filled organism alive: Gordon Ramsey


[deleted]

I will become my imaginary superhero and completely kick his ass


Ghostiestboi

My dick


Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuue

Was he neutered?


SusGuyFromMogus

An glass of water.


Tea-Realistic

Nothing. Dinosaurs can't survive on the earth’s oxygen levels. Poor guy would just die


Teccnomancer

My equally impressive physique. Oh? You’re approaching me, Barney?


[deleted]

A honda civic


OddOriginal894

Children would be my weapon. That’ll keep him fed while escape.


IntermediateGameDev

"Wake the fuck up godzilla we need you"


DanSavagegamesYT

Some mutated plant that shoots peas out of a machine gun


Maximum-Scholar1907

Restraining order


EpicCheeto

My dick


spragual

Someone else. Someone else is my weapon.


Chance_Ad5498

Chris Pratt I choose you!


CephaloG0D

Lube


cykickass

Chuck Norris.


Sufficient_Bean

My weapon is a clone of him


Salty_Two_1012

A belt


haagen17

Is mayonnaise a weapon?


DMSderp

My hog.


onionjesus

Deez


bottleofaple

My friend kevin


hfgfdd

Taxes


s-p-e-e-d-e-r

Infinity gauntlet, I’ll snap that fucker in no time


Twistedbalzck43

your mom


Sensitive_Error9

Sperm


Delicious_Door_3421

dildo nunchuck


FutureSoldier616

Big, FUCKING, GUN


Fun_Rest_8379

A fork and a knife put the knife through his brain takes a scoop and eat his brain


0HGODN0

anime. anime shall be my weapon;


shortgremlin

A condom


uW1o

My friend kevin


blusplays

Glizzy


[deleted]

Minigun


SentinelX-01

Barney bag.


ozjack24

A small child