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[deleted]

Howdy "Footlong gobblers"


shaddupsevenup

Wasn’t that your nickname in high school?


[deleted]

Sure was!


geckospots

lmao I just choked on my coffee 😂


DocJawbone

Speaking of footlong gobblers we had some baby turkeys out front today


bluenova088

But...bbbut i only gobble the half long sandwiches......


Catsplants

It’s all I can afford too!


bluenova088

Same here...i need a raise


roboater11

I find that “Ahoy mates” works well.


Coffeedemon

Boats imply colonies.


DiligentTangerine

Wait until they find out that the captain of the vessel is also called the master


Coffeedemon

We had some frank discussions around changing the name of some stats lists from master to something else. I think we settled on primary. I get it but I also struggle sometimes with this. As the lead I try to ensure we do no harm and take it seriously.


DiligentTangerine

The ship part is written in legislation so it gets a little trickier, thankfully everyone in the industry understands and I'd change the language if it did bother anyone


achar073

We must from now on decolonize all staff greetings


geckospots

I see you’re from ISC…


achar073

Nope!


jeffprobst

"mates" is too sexual.


[deleted]

Avast ye scurvy dogs?


bluenova088

Not to mention doesnt include women who were often seen as bad luck to be part of the crew


roboater11

As a woman of colour originally from a former British colony, can I say it?


bluenova088

Lol your colour or origins has nothing to do with it mostly bcs even when women could travel on a ship they were not part of the crew unless of course your country allowed it ( china had a female pirate who os considered one of the greatest ever) but then you wouldnt be saying ahoy mateys...


roboater11

Ching Shih.


bluenova088

Yes!! Someone knows their pirates!!


roboater11

This did start with me saying “Ahoy mates” …


bluenova088

Touche...but not many people know about her ..


roboater11

When all you hear/read/see is famous white men, you remember those that are even remotely like you.


bluenova088

I do like ching shi....her bf/ hubby was killed by the navy so she made sure that they would piss their pants with her name...type of gf i want too


HandcuffsOfGold

GREETINGS MEATBAGS


garchoo

The whole idea of iterating different groups does seem dated and just filler. All-inclusive singular terms such as meatbags seem the way to go.


What-Up-G

Until we're cyborgs and some of us start to take offence.


Golanthanatos

cyborgs are just bedazzled bags of meat.


bluenova088

who knows, some might already be taking offence bcs they have a nose piercing or something


WurmGurl

Some of us are already cyborgs. Cochlear implants have been around for ages.


bluenova088

Will wearing braces and pacemakers count?


infinitumz

Greetings fellow Singularity


HandcuffsOfGold

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE No, wait, that’s Highlanders. There can be multiple AI. GREETINGS!


All_the_things77

Would the vegans back this one up?


HandcuffsOfGold

GREETINGS PLANT-CONSUMING MEATBAGS


All_the_things77

Now everyone can be at peace.


backgammon_no

Greetings sweetbreaths and bloodmouths,


ParadoxesRUs

Hahaha the most inclusive greeting there is. I vote for this


bluenova088

How dare you dont consider and include my piercings?? I am frigging offended....


What-Up-G

Can you start calling us Master as well? https://youtu.be/T3OycKjrVzo


RedAndBlueMittens

I read that in Morbo’s voice.


Purchhhhh

GWAR was right on several things.


Satanic_Spirit

That term is offensive to handicapped. They are more than meat.


Targonis

It's easier to provide no greeting. Stare blankly at people until they are uncomfortable enough to leave you alone, and hopefully they never come back.


barrhavenite

Will you write this up in your hybrid work agreement?


intersnatches

Whatsup fuckers


intersnatches

Que ce passe-t-il, peuple de phoque ?


[deleted]

Hahahah


BingoRingo2

Salut la compagnie!!


Max_Thunder

http://lessimpsons.chez.com/sons/bande.wav


geckospots

*grade 7 me laughs hysterically*


SinkingTurtles

"Delegate at the mic, please state your point" seems kind of aggressive


Slapnuts2point0

If you’ve ever attended a PSAC convention, you’d know it’s necessary lol


geckospots

Ditto PIPSC…


BritneyIsAStar

I'm using this at every meeting ever and no one can stop me


RedAndBlueMittens

This needs to be used in many Teams meetings.


WhosKona

Language guidelines written by someone with no people skills. Perfect!


House_of_Raven

So it’s probably aggressive to go with “greetings, friends and foes”?


BingoRingo2

It's very soviet, isn't it? Before you get sent to the reeducation centre.


joausj

To gulag you go my friend


bladderulcer

I was just about to say the same thing. Sounds so passive aggressive lol.


bluenova088

Imagine people wanting to be a girl and then being offended bcs u called them sister 😑


MarginDoodles

“How do you do, fellow kids?”


TiredAF20

I'm not even 40 and I constantly feel like saying this to my Gen Z coworkers.


TheDrunkyBrewster

r/FellowKids


What-Up-G

Brothers, sisters and friends? I would not want to call some of the people I work with anything close to that. I'm sure they wouldn't identify as any of these either with me.


garchoo

How about "Brothers, sisters, and subway employees"?


bikegyal

The inclusive term is sandwich artist.


HottSakke

that’s not art, unless i’ve been totally oblivious of spinach minimalism


Flaktrack

You can just shorten it to "sandwich enthusiasts": you know everyone is really going back for that fake chicken and wilted lettuce.


Flyboy78AA

And comrades!


Tiramisu_mayhem

This was issued by PSAC- historically union members refer to one another as “brother” or “sister” in a statement of solidarity. I think it’s pretty much fallen out of favour.


BingoRingo2

Comrade?


AntonBanton

North American unions moved towards "brothers" and "sisters" because "comrade" was associated with the Soviets/Communism.


soaringupnow

How about just yelling, "Workers unite!", And waving your fist in the air?


random604

Union members used to use the term Comrade prior to "brothers and sisters", might be a good time to reclaim this non-gendered and brief term, probably would be a bit more intimidating to management as well.


Flaktrack

You will definitely catch the attention of people who watched the wall fall lol. But hey why not?


Tiramisu_mayhem

Followed by “no gods, no masters!”


disapprovingfox

Followed with "no war but class war".


Tiramisu_mayhem

United we bargain, divided we beg


bikegyal

But our team is so close, we’re like a FAMILY!


Picklesticks16

Ugh, the biggest red flag ever, with respect to employers.


Mary_9

I believe this is in reference to our union brothers and sisters, with the friends being those who don't identify as the first two choices.


friskygrandma

I know in the legal field, calling someone "my friend" always feels like a slight against someone.


noname67899

That makes me laugh too. Ridiculous!


whoisit4

Brother, get the heavy flamer


treasurehunter86_

Union members refer to each as brother or sister.


TheDrunkyBrewster

Yo, Bro!


TemperatureFinal7984

“YO, WHATS UP?”


[deleted]

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[deleted]

That's cringey but it's a legacy! It reminds me of sometimes still getting an email that starts with "Gentlemen", where I think to myself "and I'm the woman unworthy of acknowledgement as per the CC" At least "Children" is genderless (although I should probably google the etymology to make sure).


whateveryxt

Friends, Romans, countrymen...


noname67899

Peasants and management


[deleted]

Dear comrades in the revolutionary struggle!


Tiramisu_mayhem

This is the one


hoot2k16

Well... I guess using y'all is about my best. Our local champion for inclusivity used "Stormtroopers" as one of the "acceptable" terms...we work in law enforcement. You can imagine that one went over like a wet fart in church....


geckospots

*Yikes*.


hoot2k16

I can't even make this shit up. This person has tried to out people by blatantly asking if they have a disability in front of their colleagues on multiple occasions. In addition to other incidents ....


SlaterHauge

How about "hello everyone". Done.


nogreatcathedral

"Hi all" also perfectly serviceable with the advantage of not making you sound like a cringe robot!


SlaterHauge

Fellow sentient beings, welcome, and I extend unto you much gramercy for your being in evidence this day.


TheDrunkyBrewster

He'y'all! Howdy!


kookiemaster

Greetings fellow carbon-based lifeforms


whoisit4

But what if that’s how I greet my dog?


kookiemaster

It's fine, it's inclusive whether greeting humans, bugs or dogs ;)


What-Up-G

Hello children of Adam, offsprings of apes, seedlings of aliens!


BingoRingo2

"Accidents of nature"


BritneyIsAStar

Welcome, goth mommies and zaddies


Zulban

Uh oh. I say "folks" **a lot**. Am I... lame..?


Imaginary-Runner

I've started to curb my use of "folks", due to it being co-opted by certain provincial politicians. ... I don't think you're lame.


[deleted]

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geckospots

That might be pushing it depending on where you work


lab_grown_steak

I say folks. Nothing wrong with it!


theshaneler

PSA that "sup fuckers" is gender neutral


DJ_Femme-Tilt

"Friends & enemies"


mal_67

We should just refer to each other by our PRIs. > Unit 123456789, state your business.


RigidlyDefinedArea

Hey, when you're a CAF recruit on Basic Training, you start by stating your service number before your rank and name...


mal_67

True, though MOSID as well for reporting in. Would we replace that with position number??


RigidlyDefinedArea

Position number to replace MOSID. Classification and Level to replace Rank. It's perfect.


TastyIttyBittiTreat

One of my directors says "Salut Gang, ok gang, good job gang, merci gang." Makes me cringe every time.


machinedog

Lmao I’d actually find this super endearing with how cringey it is.


ValiantSpacemanSpiff

Next time flash a blood sign at him.


bikegyal

I love when francophones say this


nogreatcathedral

Yeah I'd find it very weird if an anglophone said this but it's relatively common for francophones and doesn't register as odd to me. (Am an anglo).


ConstitutionalHeresy

How do you do, fellow youths!


VeryBadDwarf

Attention, peasants!


pjroy613

I refer to all my peers/colleagues as “fellow Subway patron.”


Kraminari2005

How about comrades?


noname67899

Greetings, fellow humans, my brothers and sisters! 🤣


plentyofsilverfish

Howdy Comrades!


somanypornaccounts

Greetings humans-I MEAN FELLOW HUMANS


Bambamath

F*ckers it is


lupodemarco

Dear carbon based bipeds.


Dalthanes

Can we get a 5-10% increase? That be nice, instead of paying PSAC to get their unpaid intern to publish shit like this


PublicConfusion

Ew. Can PSAC relax with this brother and sister repertoire. It’s starting to feel real culty and gross. Also brother and sister is gendered and not gender neutral. Douchebag is preferable. Anyone can be a douche bag.


joausj

Brothers and sisters I say, we have seen the light and that light is subway.


theflamesweregolfin

How are ya now?


Paperclipsandyarn

You were out eating your subway the other dayyyyyyy…


Red_Cross_Knight1

Who comes up with this BS.... **edit to add* I have no problem with inclusiveness, however this reads like it was written by aliens trying to pretend to be human...


Red_Cross_Knight1

Seriously this reads like a bad AI generated post...


BitingArtist

Hello/bonjour sandwich enthusiasts.


Aerottawa

So Doug Ford was being inclusive by saying "Folks"..


ClaudeGL

It's nice to see a room full of liveware today.


oliski2006

I’m just gonns go with « how about not sending general emails when not needed » I look at you, priority messages from the dub-minister, PSAC and others


Never-Pants

Hello comrades !


[deleted]

*Hello there*


Early_Reply

Greetings commissioners, chief of staff, executive management, deputy senior management, regional management, assistant office management...oh and peasants.


[deleted]

What up dummies!


Hellcat-13

I’m partial to “hey bitches!” but I’d use this in a pinch.


Nairobicowboy

The worst part of this is that you know this went through several meetings and working groups. People debated this and decided this was the best thing to publish.


kookiemaster

Your union dues at work! Seriously, can we focus on slightly more pressing issues?


ctygrrl00

Ayoye


Little_Comfortable51

I prefer “hello ladies, gentlemen and peoplekind”.


TheDrunkyBrewster

*Welcome to Subway, how can I help you with your order?* /s


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I want to add this to my signature block! PseudotsugaGrrrl (she/her/guys) F\*ck, I might do it. Everyone is on holidays anyway.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

It was more of a fantasy in my head - that is how I keep sane. 😊 'Guys' can bug me a little bit, depending on my mood. However, it is not nearly as bad as being included in an email that starts with "Gentlemen", though. It always floors me to see the "Gentlemen" email salutation occasionally in gov't emails. I look around and think, "well, I guess this doesn't apply to me?" oof.


RefrigeratorFun8060

I use “hello folks” on a regular basis. It was a surprisingly easy shift of language.


StillIntergalaticIBS

Okay so is this where all the miserable Public Servants come to play or something? I don't see anything wrong with the union suggesting inclusive language. Some of it might not be your cup of tea, that's cool - don't use it...but why tf are we making a mockery of inclusive language suggestions? What am I not understanding that makes this hilarious to most? Edit: you can downvote me all you like, but you're the fucking problem if your immediate reaction is to scoff at this. That's disgusting.


backgammon_no

Inclusive language is good and important. The list in OP is so out-of-touch with how people talk that it looks like it was generated by an AI and then fed through google translate 15x. It seems like the point is to avoid gendered terms like "guys", "he/she", etc., which is a good goal! But actual human beings have already been working on that or quite a long time and this list looks like the writer has literally thought about the concept for 10 minutes max.


Filandra

Oh wow 🙄


[deleted]

heaven forbid people use gender inclusive terms.


iron_ingrid

Delegate at the mic, please learn what a joke is.


gapagos

Bonjour les poussinots! Bonjour les poussinettes!


gordo613

Greetings, comrades!


TheDrunkyBrewster

Hey, Peoplefolk!


NCR_PS_Throwaway

Hello/Bonjour folks/les gens.


KookyCoconut3

Someone in my office got their knickers in a knot over “folks”. 🙄 I just stick to “hey y’all”.


Brickle_berry

How about we just call each other " Majesty" that way we all feel special 🤣 or will the Queen be offended lol