I changed my own baseline when I was about 40, and have felt a lot more content since then!
I stopped bullying myself, and instead started being understanding, reassuring, kind and encouraging to myself.
I got a lot less melodramatic and laughed at myself a bit more.
I started noticing the good stuff that is everywhere you look and stopped seeing myself as a helpless victim.
I cut down on rumination (going around and around and around the same problem in my head, looking for a solution).
I probably went from a baseline of 4 (worrying about what *might* go wrong, or things that had gone wrong in the past) to a baseline of 9. Of course, I still have moments of things going wrong, but it's usually short lived and never quite the black depths of despair that I sank to before, where there would be a heavy black rock sat in my belly with no way out.
Most days I feel positive enjoyment.
I don't know if you mind my asking, but why did you get therapy if you were happy?
Same process but self loathing and anxiety. Everyday is much better now than the preceding 29 years. Much higher baseline even when bad things happen. And so far it’s getting better quickly as my self-esteem improves too.
Yay for you!! I'm so glad you managed to take control of your life and satisfaction like that, it was very inspiring to read :)
I was getting therapy to treat an eating disorder! I was in a good mood most of the time, but I had a lot of unprocessed stuff going on and needed plenty of reeducation around food. My baseline went down for a few years as I went through the process, but I got to the other side :)
It isn't a point, but a journey!
So even a teeny step is helpful and a pleasure to take. You only have to decide that you are going to actually implement those changes, then no one can stop you.
Yeah, it was my own invention, then afterwards I saw similar ideas in lots of places, where other people have 'invented' or discovered the same thing: CBT, Buddhism, etc. Each group uses their own language to describe it and views it from a slightly different angle.
Are my bills paid? Do I have a house over my head? A loving family to come home to? Do I have food?
I'm happy! It doesn't take much. This year, we were truly blessed, as a family. I have a great landlord, we went to Disneyworld, and I got a great job offer, so I'm beyond ecstatic.
Pretty low, but I'm actively working to change that. Depression and anxiety are rough, but I know that objectively my life it pretty good. I'm hoping that finding the right meds and really working on it in therapy will help me move the baseline higher.
Been on a similar boat in the past, just wanted to say I successfully beat depression so I know you can as well! My baseline was high as a child and it's good now, but it was on the bottom of the barrel a few years ago.
Anxiety still roughs me up more often than I would like, though, but I'm also doing therapy and it's getting better over time. It does help, so keep going :) It's a lifelong process, but it's very worth it!
Thanks for the encouragement! It feels like digging out of a hole, and it's really easy to get discouraged. If you don't mind me asking, did you do meds, therapy, or something else? or a mix?
Did exclusively CBT for a few years as a teen (14 to 17) and then CBT+lexapro when the depression kicked in during the pandemic. Was discharged a year and a half into the treatment in late 2021 :)
I think mine is very, very low, but I can’t tell if it’s caused *by* or the cause *of* my depression and dysthymia, not to mention environmental factors and having really bad chronic pain. Hard to feel happy when you’re in agony :’)
I'm sorry for that :/ I experienced depression as well, but it was acute and short lived, fortunately. I was in absolute agony for that period of time, can't imagine what it must be like to live like that constantly :/
Don't beat yourself up, celebrate small victories and go on your own pace. I'm rooting for you, I wish you great success in treatment both mentally and physically!
Based on your observations and your responses to your therapist I'd probably say my happiness baseline is higher. If nothing significant has happened it means I'm not happy obviously. I'm not sad either but i just exist i guess.
Happiness for me has mostly come in short temporary burst in the past few years. So idk how much should i lower my baseline, or if I'm even capable of budging it at all.
Most of the time my life, routine is monotone, wake up , breakfast , head to work, gym, study, dinner, sleep.
I was happy in my college days , specially when surrounded by friends and interesting people. Had activities to do, have fun, now I'm just another cog in a machine.
I’d say mine is around 8 out of 10 most of the time, with 10 being euphoric eg after the birth of my child or being offered a fantastic job. I’ve had some awful experiences but I noticed like we were looking at a topical map of our area at my former job and I commented, “it’s so beautiful!” My colleague muttered, “what’s so great about it. Just green trees.”
I remember being on holiday with an ex. I was looking around, noticing all the flowers and thinking just how nice it was, when he grumped out "Look at all this *litter*!"
I honestly hadn't even noticed it until he said that. We were having such different experiences of the same place at the same time!
I don’t know. I had a lot of stuff happening in my childhood.
Now it is split. I am fine, rationally and able to do everything I want to.
Sometimes I am just standing next to me and hoping that a cloud falls onto me and suffocates me.
I don’t know where that came from. I‘m a healthy happy person. Sometimes the depression creeps up I guess
I think I am content and grateful most days. Probably 6-8 ish.
I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD. Not medicated or seeing a therapist now, but I have in the past, I have read a lot about my conditions, and I work on coping strategies (mileage varies)
Anhedonia creeps in occasionally but not for long. My dogs are much too fun and adorable to stay down for long. I am retired and don't take vacations per se, but I have little overnight concert trips scattered through the year, so I always have something to look forward to. Stuff like that tends to put me in a gratitude spiral, because I have the means and freedom to do it.
Preach! I'm glad you manage to stay grateful and live a happy life through the troubles :)
I'm almost the same. Since I had depression in 2020, sometimes that anhedonia and lethargy comes back. I'm not the same as I was in 2019. But I have great friends, a great boyfriend and I work with what I love. These things keep me grounded and, overall, grateful to live the life I do :)
I'm the same as you. Nothing negative happening means 100% a good and often happy day. I'm not bubbly or ecstatic, but I'm very content and satisfied with life once my basic needs are fulfilled.
Me too! I often relate to bubbly and happy characters in fiction, like Willy Wonka or Maria von Trapp from The Sound of Music. Like you, I'm definitely not always like them, but, if my basics are covered, I try to stay upbeat and keep a sparkle in my eyes :)
My autopilot life is horrendous, but at any time I can make choices to love myself, enjoy my life with whatever I'm doing and be happy.
The whole "getting things only makes you happy temporarily" is definitely true, but there are other things you can do that will increase your happiness anytime you want.
I feel like it's middle, but my friends consider it very high. I generally try to spend most my day smiling.
I had a pretty happy presenting dad and a mom who was always planning for something better
Can relate to smiling most of the time :-) I watched Wonka yesterday and the way he carried himself kind of reminded me of my own maneirisms - that slightly child-like glee and wonder.
I'm glad you had a great family who supported you! That helps so much :)
I’m content. Not happy or sad or whatever, just content. I don’t really feel happy or sad most of the time, because there is rarely a point to it; I don’t consider them conducive to action and so I don’t really take note of it unless something irregular happens. Annoyed is way more common mood that I have, so I sort of fluctuate between “content” and “annoyed” more often than I have a sense of happiness or sadness.
I would say through all my ups and downs I have a high baseline, at least an 8 out of 10.
The only times I think I’ve been really sad are when I’ve lost loved ones including pets or when something bad has happened to someone I love or am close to.
I’ve been through some pretty crappy stuff and times in my life but I somehow manage to see the good in the situation.
I just always have it in the back of my mind that life could be much worse and that even when I’m having a struggle there is usually a positive opportunity that comes out of it.
Idk, I’m just always on the happy side even when there’s things happening that are not things to be happy about.
Guess I see the glass half full!
My baseline is very low, and as time has passed, it's never really changed. When I haven't made significant progress or achievement, I generally rate my days at a 3 put of 10, compared to the happiest I've ever been. I think it stems from general life dissatisfaction. I'm in therapy, working on how to live a normal, more enjoyed life, but in 6 months it's been pretty slow going.
Similar to another comment mine has dramatically increased in the past year or so with a huge amount of work.
I would say when I was really young I was similar to you that it was naturally quite high. I was one of those kids that just lived in my own world, so very little actually impacted that inner bubble, so I was very happy.
I think once that bubble almost burst then my baseline dropped dramatically and I was always scoring quite low, even on days that I would now consider not bad.
I stayed that way for longer than I care to think about in all honesty, but now I'm in 32 and as I say in the past year I have done a huge amount of work and also over the previous few years (the last year in particular it has just ramped up) my baseline is now a lot higher. I'd say I'm closer to being somewhere in the middle now with the hope of continuing to raise it over the next few years as I get to a better place with my mental health.
I am in the process of increasing my baseline. It may have been higher as a child, but for most of my life my baseline is probably 5/10 to use that metric. If nothing great happens. Im neither happy or sad. Im indifferent. But being more consciously grateful throughout the day helps move the baseline to about a 7.
Right now it's pretty low. I'm not satisfied but am kinda stuck in my situation.. As a child it was medium to medium high, kept artificially high in a state of video games / sugar, carb addiction. It's declined dramatically over the years due to a number off events and dramatic life changes.
I changed my own baseline when I was about 40, and have felt a lot more content since then! I stopped bullying myself, and instead started being understanding, reassuring, kind and encouraging to myself. I got a lot less melodramatic and laughed at myself a bit more. I started noticing the good stuff that is everywhere you look and stopped seeing myself as a helpless victim. I cut down on rumination (going around and around and around the same problem in my head, looking for a solution). I probably went from a baseline of 4 (worrying about what *might* go wrong, or things that had gone wrong in the past) to a baseline of 9. Of course, I still have moments of things going wrong, but it's usually short lived and never quite the black depths of despair that I sank to before, where there would be a heavy black rock sat in my belly with no way out. Most days I feel positive enjoyment. I don't know if you mind my asking, but why did you get therapy if you were happy?
Same process but self loathing and anxiety. Everyday is much better now than the preceding 29 years. Much higher baseline even when bad things happen. And so far it’s getting better quickly as my self-esteem improves too.
It's so nice, isn't it? Even a tiny improvement makes life so much more *restful*, and makes you see a little path leading towards a sunlit meadow.
Yay for you!! I'm so glad you managed to take control of your life and satisfaction like that, it was very inspiring to read :) I was getting therapy to treat an eating disorder! I was in a good mood most of the time, but I had a lot of unprocessed stuff going on and needed plenty of reeducation around food. My baseline went down for a few years as I went through the process, but I got to the other side :)
That is so interesting! I'm very glad you dealt with that then, and I feel like learning is a delightful never ending journey.
Seconding this other comment this is very inspiring, I hope to reach this point one day. ❤️
It isn't a point, but a journey! So even a teeny step is helpful and a pleasure to take. You only have to decide that you are going to actually implement those changes, then no one can stop you.
Sounds like CBT (if you didnt get therapy- its a lot of the same concepts that you describe!)
Yeah, it was my own invention, then afterwards I saw similar ideas in lots of places, where other people have 'invented' or discovered the same thing: CBT, Buddhism, etc. Each group uses their own language to describe it and views it from a slightly different angle.
So true! Things like CBT techniques and meditation absolutely are used in religions and spirituality like you say as well
Unmedicated: 4-5. Medicated: 7-8. Thank you Wellbutrin.
Im medicated. But I won't be happy until I'm dead. Being alive is the stupidest thing.
Are my bills paid? Do I have a house over my head? A loving family to come home to? Do I have food? I'm happy! It doesn't take much. This year, we were truly blessed, as a family. I have a great landlord, we went to Disneyworld, and I got a great job offer, so I'm beyond ecstatic.
Yay for that! I'm glad you and your family had a great year :) Congrats on keeping your head up :)
Pretty low, but I'm actively working to change that. Depression and anxiety are rough, but I know that objectively my life it pretty good. I'm hoping that finding the right meds and really working on it in therapy will help me move the baseline higher.
Been on a similar boat in the past, just wanted to say I successfully beat depression so I know you can as well! My baseline was high as a child and it's good now, but it was on the bottom of the barrel a few years ago. Anxiety still roughs me up more often than I would like, though, but I'm also doing therapy and it's getting better over time. It does help, so keep going :) It's a lifelong process, but it's very worth it!
Thanks for the encouragement! It feels like digging out of a hole, and it's really easy to get discouraged. If you don't mind me asking, did you do meds, therapy, or something else? or a mix?
Did exclusively CBT for a few years as a teen (14 to 17) and then CBT+lexapro when the depression kicked in during the pandemic. Was discharged a year and a half into the treatment in late 2021 :)
I think mine is very, very low, but I can’t tell if it’s caused *by* or the cause *of* my depression and dysthymia, not to mention environmental factors and having really bad chronic pain. Hard to feel happy when you’re in agony :’)
I'm sorry for that :/ I experienced depression as well, but it was acute and short lived, fortunately. I was in absolute agony for that period of time, can't imagine what it must be like to live like that constantly :/ Don't beat yourself up, celebrate small victories and go on your own pace. I'm rooting for you, I wish you great success in treatment both mentally and physically!
Thank you for that! I’m genuinely happy that you’re a happy person, we need more of that in the world :)
Based on your observations and your responses to your therapist I'd probably say my happiness baseline is higher. If nothing significant has happened it means I'm not happy obviously. I'm not sad either but i just exist i guess. Happiness for me has mostly come in short temporary burst in the past few years. So idk how much should i lower my baseline, or if I'm even capable of budging it at all. Most of the time my life, routine is monotone, wake up , breakfast , head to work, gym, study, dinner, sleep. I was happy in my college days , specially when surrounded by friends and interesting people. Had activities to do, have fun, now I'm just another cog in a machine.
I’d say mine is around 8 out of 10 most of the time, with 10 being euphoric eg after the birth of my child or being offered a fantastic job. I’ve had some awful experiences but I noticed like we were looking at a topical map of our area at my former job and I commented, “it’s so beautiful!” My colleague muttered, “what’s so great about it. Just green trees.”
I remember being on holiday with an ex. I was looking around, noticing all the flowers and thinking just how nice it was, when he grumped out "Look at all this *litter*!" I honestly hadn't even noticed it until he said that. We were having such different experiences of the same place at the same time!
Exactly!
I don’t know. I had a lot of stuff happening in my childhood. Now it is split. I am fine, rationally and able to do everything I want to. Sometimes I am just standing next to me and hoping that a cloud falls onto me and suffocates me. I don’t know where that came from. I‘m a healthy happy person. Sometimes the depression creeps up I guess
I think I am content and grateful most days. Probably 6-8 ish. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD. Not medicated or seeing a therapist now, but I have in the past, I have read a lot about my conditions, and I work on coping strategies (mileage varies) Anhedonia creeps in occasionally but not for long. My dogs are much too fun and adorable to stay down for long. I am retired and don't take vacations per se, but I have little overnight concert trips scattered through the year, so I always have something to look forward to. Stuff like that tends to put me in a gratitude spiral, because I have the means and freedom to do it.
Preach! I'm glad you manage to stay grateful and live a happy life through the troubles :) I'm almost the same. Since I had depression in 2020, sometimes that anhedonia and lethargy comes back. I'm not the same as I was in 2019. But I have great friends, a great boyfriend and I work with what I love. These things keep me grounded and, overall, grateful to live the life I do :)
My baseline is like a 3/10 I would say, but the smallest things can bring me up to a 9/10. Dont know why, but its always been like that.
I'm the same as you. Nothing negative happening means 100% a good and often happy day. I'm not bubbly or ecstatic, but I'm very content and satisfied with life once my basic needs are fulfilled.
Me too! I often relate to bubbly and happy characters in fiction, like Willy Wonka or Maria von Trapp from The Sound of Music. Like you, I'm definitely not always like them, but, if my basics are covered, I try to stay upbeat and keep a sparkle in my eyes :)
A breakup messed me up but before that I used to be incredibly happy all the time, im hoping I’ll go back to that soon
I'm rooting for you! Give it time, it will :)
My autopilot life is horrendous, but at any time I can make choices to love myself, enjoy my life with whatever I'm doing and be happy. The whole "getting things only makes you happy temporarily" is definitely true, but there are other things you can do that will increase your happiness anytime you want.
I feel like it's middle, but my friends consider it very high. I generally try to spend most my day smiling. I had a pretty happy presenting dad and a mom who was always planning for something better
Can relate to smiling most of the time :-) I watched Wonka yesterday and the way he carried himself kind of reminded me of my own maneirisms - that slightly child-like glee and wonder. I'm glad you had a great family who supported you! That helps so much :)
I’m content. Not happy or sad or whatever, just content. I don’t really feel happy or sad most of the time, because there is rarely a point to it; I don’t consider them conducive to action and so I don’t really take note of it unless something irregular happens. Annoyed is way more common mood that I have, so I sort of fluctuate between “content” and “annoyed” more often than I have a sense of happiness or sadness.
I would say through all my ups and downs I have a high baseline, at least an 8 out of 10. The only times I think I’ve been really sad are when I’ve lost loved ones including pets or when something bad has happened to someone I love or am close to. I’ve been through some pretty crappy stuff and times in my life but I somehow manage to see the good in the situation. I just always have it in the back of my mind that life could be much worse and that even when I’m having a struggle there is usually a positive opportunity that comes out of it. Idk, I’m just always on the happy side even when there’s things happening that are not things to be happy about. Guess I see the glass half full!
I’m content. So I’d say at 5 or 6. I don’t know if that’s the same as happy.
My baseline is very low, and as time has passed, it's never really changed. When I haven't made significant progress or achievement, I generally rate my days at a 3 put of 10, compared to the happiest I've ever been. I think it stems from general life dissatisfaction. I'm in therapy, working on how to live a normal, more enjoyed life, but in 6 months it's been pretty slow going.
Similar to another comment mine has dramatically increased in the past year or so with a huge amount of work. I would say when I was really young I was similar to you that it was naturally quite high. I was one of those kids that just lived in my own world, so very little actually impacted that inner bubble, so I was very happy. I think once that bubble almost burst then my baseline dropped dramatically and I was always scoring quite low, even on days that I would now consider not bad. I stayed that way for longer than I care to think about in all honesty, but now I'm in 32 and as I say in the past year I have done a huge amount of work and also over the previous few years (the last year in particular it has just ramped up) my baseline is now a lot higher. I'd say I'm closer to being somewhere in the middle now with the hope of continuing to raise it over the next few years as I get to a better place with my mental health.
thank you for this post I didn't know about this tbh
I feel like I’m always just neutral. Not upset with life but not ecstatic about it either.
Mine is like a game of limbo. How low can you go? Worked well for me so far.
4-5
I am in the process of increasing my baseline. It may have been higher as a child, but for most of my life my baseline is probably 5/10 to use that metric. If nothing great happens. Im neither happy or sad. Im indifferent. But being more consciously grateful throughout the day helps move the baseline to about a 7.
Right now it's pretty low. I'm not satisfied but am kinda stuck in my situation.. As a child it was medium to medium high, kept artificially high in a state of video games / sugar, carb addiction. It's declined dramatically over the years due to a number off events and dramatic life changes.