Well I have the negatives of women who lived in our street in the 60s / 70s doing it. I inherited my grandads photography equipment and a folder of negatives with an index of names I recognise of mates Nans. He was the photographer, I’m not surprised nobody in the street talked to him.
Shit you learn when people die, unbelievable.
Just taken this, Very low quality, this is all you’re getting. https://imgur.com/a/PtIe3lU
I’ve scanned some for my own research before.
I particularly like the name of no. 13.
Personally, I reckon you should start up a Gofundme to get these professionally scanned, to help preserve classic British scud.
I'd absolutely contribute. 😅
I'm not sure how you would manage because Onlyfans is uber-strict about release forms, but there is definitely a sufficient niche there to explore monetising the content somehow
Guys, if you stare at the negatives for 5 minutes and then look at a white wall, you can get a colour image for a few seconds. Repeat this enough times and you might be able to finish 👍
at my University house circa 2000-2001, the terrestial TV in a housemates room was randomly picking up snowy images/signals of the playboy channel.
Needless to say, three of us would sit on his floor hoping to get clear enough images to commit to the wankbank
Brown’s were 4 door up. Probably just a regular. There was always a Mr Brown. I grew up with the granddaughter. Maybe the mother is in there as well as the grandmother. I don’t want to ask the granddaughter if she recognises her mother, or Nan for that matter.
Richardsons were nextdoor.
You aren’t that naive are you.
You gotta take those opportunities by the balls baby. There’s a lot of solo stuff, is that porn?
It was a time before everyone had cameras, someone’s gotta do the hard work.
When my great-grandad died, i offered to help my grandad digitise a lot of photo negatives as most of the actual photos had been passed out among family members when gran-gran died as papa always said he could just print more if he wanted to.
I was so glad I hadn't just taught grandad how to do it and left him to bash on - there was dozens of shots *featuring* gran-gran and papa throughout their long and apparently adventurous marriage. No man needs to see his parents like that 😬
Nope, they need to watch the whole thing in case there's anything for which they would need to refuse classification (e.g. something illegal). They might refuse classification outright, or require specific cuts to be made before the film can be released.
---
Edit: In 2016, some bloke made the BBFC watch paint dry for 10 hours and 7 minutes. They charge per minute of runtime, so the director, Charlie Shackleton, crowdfunded £5,936 to pay the BBFC. They rated the film "U".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paint_Drying
It isn’t one continuous shot - every hour the same shadow moves across the image and shortly anger you can hear the same aircraft/background noise overhead. It’s one continuous film, but the film is a one hour shot on loop
>To coincide with the examination, Shackleton held an 'Ask Me Anything' (AMA) question and answer session on the subreddit r/IAmA, during which he stated that he did not himself watch the film in its entirety.
I love that so much ahahah. Even he hasn't seen it but some guys at the BBFC have.
>According to Shackleton, he and his mother were abandoned by his father when he was a baby.[20] He started using his father's surname, Lyne, around 2004 in what he termed "a fit of teenage reinvention".[20] In 2019, regretting the decision, he resumed using his mother's last name.
🤦♂️
The facepalm feels a bit mean spirited imo. I think a lot of teens go through rebellious phases especially with disjointed home lives. At least he had the sense to realise his mistake.
It was more - he uses it as a rebellion and then reverses it. "It's just a phase", makes him seem like a bit of a try-hard that's all, whether he rightly did correct himself or not.
I decorated the director of the BBFC’s office in the early 90s. I had a peek in his desk drawer and there were several not-yet-censored porn DVDs. Shitty British porn like the one in this post. Perks of the job, I thought at the time. It was a two day job, and the director was away, some I borrowed a couple for the evening.
>I decorated the director of the BBFC’s office in the early 90s. I had a peek in his desk drawer and there were several not-yet-censored porn DVDs
Did ye, aye?
DVD was released in the UK in 1997
Fucking hell, you’re right. Must have been VHS. The whole concept of physical media seems so old fashioned now that I thought I’d gone back far enough in time in my memory banks.
Edit- I was wrong about the time period too, it must have been spring 1998. Late, not early 90s. But yeah, I didn’t have a DVD player then.
Reminds me of a time I went for a walk with my boyfriend. We went through a field which had a trail along the hedgerow, at the entrance to the field there was a bike and a pair of pants. But weird but whatever.
Carried on walking and you can see a fella sitting down, as we walked past him we notice he’s got a magazine open infront of him. It’s a porno mag, and it’s open on a two page spread of a woman’s hairy muff. Bit awkward but we carry on.
About an hour later we’re walking back the same way and he’s still there (different page this time) and he makes an offhand comment about blackberry picking 🤣 yeah if that’s what you want to call it mate.
I think we’d obviously accidentally walked into his private wank spot away from the family. Makes me laugh still thinking about it.
Makes me think of when I used to roll weed in the great outdoors (I'd roll en-masse at the weekend to have supplies for the week, as I wasn't able to roll in the room I rented), and I went to my usual spot. Noticed two guys desperately putting their clothes on as I rounded a corner, although one looked a bit worse for wear on all fours. And then within 2 mins I found a family walking there, likely picking blackberries. Bet the guys were happy I was the first to find them not the few pre-teens of the family
I mean, when your mum decides she's gonna redecorate your room tomorrow, its no good just chucking your stash in the kitchen bin is it? What if the dog gets at it and makes a mess, the bag could split, someone decides they need to fish out that receipt from earlier, anything could happen!
So, what you do is nonchalantly declare you are going on a bike ride, and while you are on the country lane with no traffic, just chuck it all in the hedge. Who knows, it might still be there when you go back in two days time. If not, keep an eye out because you just KNOW someone else is going to have the same thing happen in a few days time.
It really is a staple of growing up here that you had to have found a porn magazine in a bush at least once in your life. Everytime we'd play football the game would be stopped t least once because someone's gone to get the ball in a bush and come out with Milfs gone wild
Why is finding porn in the hedges so common. I live in America and my dad has stories of finding a crate of playboy magazines. Even I found magazine pages of porn. Who is stashing all this porn in the wild and why?
Before the Internet, it was a "pass it forward", karma thing. Once a bloke had grown tired 5 a mag or vid, he tossed into a hedgerow for the next guy to discover
It used to be just random pages from Razzle back when I was a kid.
What are the kids going to find in 10 years time if we're in the DVD age of porn found in bushes?
OMG I misread the thread title and thought it was about hedgehogs.
This brings back thoughts about my teenage years when I saw the outline of my grandmothers body wearing a thin nightie against a backlight. Shudder, something a boy should not see.
Kids today with their ease of access to every hardcore porn known to man will never know anything of the bristling joy to be felt when discovering a discarded shag mag in a bush.
Imagine innocently browsing Reddit and randomly stumbling on a dvd of your Nan doing porn.
Some of us don't need to imagine. At least she died doing what she loved.
With 15 of her closest friends
And the 9 she'd never met before.
Intimately broadcast on pay per view.
Aback her favorite horse
Best of all, she'd offer everyone a great cup of tea afterwards.
with her mouth full
At least she had the decency to take her teeth out first
She’s all class
She died with a smile on her face 😊
Maybe - couldn't really see for all the cum.
Hard to tell what's cum and what's cataracts
Face like a plasterers radio
And a dildo up her ring
Your grandad was In it too?
Yeah. Thankfully they sealed the urn so it was watertight before... you know...
What or who?
Yes.
Well I have the negatives of women who lived in our street in the 60s / 70s doing it. I inherited my grandads photography equipment and a folder of negatives with an index of names I recognise of mates Nans. He was the photographer, I’m not surprised nobody in the street talked to him. Shit you learn when people die, unbelievable.
Gonna need some high def negative scans just for research .
Just taken this, Very low quality, this is all you’re getting. https://imgur.com/a/PtIe3lU I’ve scanned some for my own research before. I particularly like the name of no. 13.
So, let's just cut to the chase. How much do you want?
For the story or the pictures? Or to keep quiet about it. There’s about 50 pages with 6 strips of negatives in each. Let’s say £5 a sheet.
Personally, I reckon you should start up a Gofundme to get these professionally scanned, to help preserve classic British scud. I'd absolutely contribute. 😅
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Yes. 😎
I'm not sure how you would manage because Onlyfans is uber-strict about release forms, but there is definitely a sufficient niche there to explore monetising the content somehow
Guys, if you stare at the negatives for 5 minutes and then look at a white wall, you can get a colour image for a few seconds. Repeat this enough times and you might be able to finish 👍
> a few seconds Plenty of time for most.
at my University house circa 2000-2001, the terrestial TV in a housemates room was randomly picking up snowy images/signals of the playboy channel. Needless to say, three of us would sit on his floor hoping to get clear enough images to commit to the wankbank
Oh my
Don’t come at me all innocent now, you knew what you were getting into.
Is that 4 different people called Brown or was Brown just a really popular one?
Brown’s were 4 door up. Probably just a regular. There was always a Mr Brown. I grew up with the granddaughter. Maybe the mother is in there as well as the grandmother. I don’t want to ask the granddaughter if she recognises her mother, or Nan for that matter. Richardsons were nextdoor.
How come so many women on the same street were doing porn lol
Could just be boudoir shoots as gifts for their husbands? That's quite popular these days, maybe it always was.
You aren’t that naive are you. You gotta take those opportunities by the balls baby. There’s a lot of solo stuff, is that porn? It was a time before everyone had cameras, someone’s gotta do the hard work.
I have not seen it so I don't know what exactly it is lol. I hope you take those opportunities by the balls too. Sounds like a tradition
Never mind the Browns, what about the Dildos?
I believe that is a lit of individual photos, so its probably just 4 pics of Mrs Brown.
I was expecting he was just creeping through windows but this seems like professional boudoir shoot stuff. You had a horny street I guess.
Fat Labia
When my great-grandad died, i offered to help my grandad digitise a lot of photo negatives as most of the actual photos had been passed out among family members when gran-gran died as papa always said he could just print more if he wanted to. I was so glad I hadn't just taught grandad how to do it and left him to bash on - there was dozens of shots *featuring* gran-gran and papa throughout their long and apparently adventurous marriage. No man needs to see his parents like that 😬
Wait what why didn’t they talk to him? As he was a photographer for porn?
He talked to people who isn’t on the list. Maybe husbands found out.
Anybody else do a double check of the image just to be sure after this comment lol
You should try and locate the DVD and watch it carefully to be double sure
I don’t think I have any porn hedges in my area, at least that’s what Google maps is telling me smh
Something about porn hog. Porn hedge hog? I'll work on it and come back when I've got something better
I was eating out my nan once when suddenly I tasted horse semen. I thought oh nan, so that's how you died.
What made me laugh was that you knew what horses semen tasted like to be able to identify it :D
I think that is utterly sick. How can they include 1.2 & 1.4, but not 1.3?! Where’s the logic? Disgusting.
How else are we supposed to follow the complicated storylines?
Read the books like everyone else. Goddamn fair-weather fans...
I didn't know that porn used versioning like software. I'd guess that 1.3 wasn't sexy enough and failed UAT so they had to reshoot as 1.4.
how about some russian roullette. Cover the disc, stick it in the family dvd shelf and hope the next time someone watches a film it don't get akward.
Nah just invite the neighbours round to see some memories. Muuummmmm?
Mate, do you think it’s still 2009? I suppose of the family DVD shelf doesn’t work you could always try hiding it in the family cassette collection.
Untrimmed bush found in untrimmed bush
You are what you eat.
Well exactly like a pork pie in this case You have to break through the crust and jelly to get to the meat
Oh god. Thanks for that, Captain Cuntflaps!
That... Is... Disgusting...
Take my upvote
I feel sorry for the poor souls at the BBFC that had to watch this all the way through so they could give it an age rating
I think they took one look at it and said "yep. 18."
Nope, they need to watch the whole thing in case there's anything for which they would need to refuse classification (e.g. something illegal). They might refuse classification outright, or require specific cuts to be made before the film can be released. --- Edit: In 2016, some bloke made the BBFC watch paint dry for 10 hours and 7 minutes. They charge per minute of runtime, so the director, Charlie Shackleton, crowdfunded £5,936 to pay the BBFC. They rated the film "U". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paint_Drying
The best line a wikipedia article goes to "It is uncertain whether the paint actually dries at the end of Paint Drying"
Spoiler tag please!
Sadly it was a one hour loop, so dries a bit, goes back to wet, dries a bit (repeat for ten hours)
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Yeah something like 14 hours of footage, just in case he raised enough money for it to go that long.
It isn’t one continuous shot - every hour the same shadow moves across the image and shortly anger you can hear the same aircraft/background noise overhead. It’s one continuous film, but the film is a one hour shot on loop
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Good bot
Yeah, it’s derived from the Deva mental hospital on the outskirts of Cheshire. It’s mostly a Liverpudlian word.
>To coincide with the examination, Shackleton held an 'Ask Me Anything' (AMA) question and answer session on the subreddit r/IAmA, during which he stated that he did not himself watch the film in its entirety. I love that so much ahahah. Even he hasn't seen it but some guys at the BBFC have.
>According to Shackleton, he and his mother were abandoned by his father when he was a baby.[20] He started using his father's surname, Lyne, around 2004 in what he termed "a fit of teenage reinvention".[20] In 2019, regretting the decision, he resumed using his mother's last name. 🤦♂️
The facepalm feels a bit mean spirited imo. I think a lot of teens go through rebellious phases especially with disjointed home lives. At least he had the sense to realise his mistake.
It was more - he uses it as a rebellion and then reverses it. "It's just a phase", makes him seem like a bit of a try-hard that's all, whether he rightly did correct himself or not.
Nah, I’m sure there was one perverted bastard who insisted on watching it “for official purposes”
*Can you please stop waking!*
I think it's a typo and it was meant to say '81'
I wonder if they have a specialist for this kind of thing.
He's just a withered skeleton of his former self at this point.
With a MASSIVE right arm
They did, but he’s a football manager in the States now
I imagine it's either 1. Someone who us strangely into it 2. Someone who has become so numb to it that it means nothing
Really skinny guy with arms like popeye when he eats spinnich
I decorated the director of the BBFC’s office in the early 90s. I had a peek in his desk drawer and there were several not-yet-censored porn DVDs. Shitty British porn like the one in this post. Perks of the job, I thought at the time. It was a two day job, and the director was away, some I borrowed a couple for the evening.
>I decorated the director of the BBFC’s office in the early 90s. I had a peek in his desk drawer and there were several not-yet-censored porn DVDs Did ye, aye? DVD was released in the UK in 1997
Fucking hell, you’re right. Must have been VHS. The whole concept of physical media seems so old fashioned now that I thought I’d gone back far enough in time in my memory banks. Edit- I was wrong about the time period too, it must have been spring 1998. Late, not early 90s. But yeah, I didn’t have a DVD player then.
Big British fanny cocks?
Reminds me of a time I went for a walk with my boyfriend. We went through a field which had a trail along the hedgerow, at the entrance to the field there was a bike and a pair of pants. But weird but whatever. Carried on walking and you can see a fella sitting down, as we walked past him we notice he’s got a magazine open infront of him. It’s a porno mag, and it’s open on a two page spread of a woman’s hairy muff. Bit awkward but we carry on. About an hour later we’re walking back the same way and he’s still there (different page this time) and he makes an offhand comment about blackberry picking 🤣 yeah if that’s what you want to call it mate. I think we’d obviously accidentally walked into his private wank spot away from the family. Makes me laugh still thinking about it.
Makes me think of when I used to roll weed in the great outdoors (I'd roll en-masse at the weekend to have supplies for the week, as I wasn't able to roll in the room I rented), and I went to my usual spot. Noticed two guys desperately putting their clothes on as I rounded a corner, although one looked a bit worse for wear on all fours. And then within 2 mins I found a family walking there, likely picking blackberries. Bet the guys were happy I was the first to find them not the few pre-teens of the family
I read the title as "UK Hedgehogs" and was rather confused when I opened the post.
I am sure some of the stills will still reveal hedgehogs
Bit of a prickly situation
It's a profound thought that, most likely, all the actresses appearing in this DVD production have now passed away. RIP DVP DVD OAPs x
RIP DVDA DVD OAPs
"When they said grandma was accommodating I could never have imagined that they meant it quite like that."
This has a 2005 date on it. I’d be willing to bet that many of them are still alive and going strong given how spry and active they probably were.
Well spotted! I didn't see that. I was obviously occupied with oogling the orgiastic octogenarians.
Wayne Rooney has entered the chat..
That jokes so old, Wayne Rooney fucked it.
In 11 years time, Rooney will be as old as the Granny he shagged was in 2004. Feel old yet?
This makes me so angry, I'm going to wave my stick at it
N....N...Nan?
You’re not going to be able to make any sense of the story without DVD 1
Maybe it was just a prequel?
Director’s commentary “ah, so funny story about Margery’s teeth…”
The films are good but I prefer the Granny Porn Extended Universe (GPU) I can’t wait for the new GPU series to hit BlueTube
At least the hedgerow to teenager porn pipeline still works.
Before the internet, porn found in the hedge was the only way a younger me could acquire it, hedge porn or the underwear section of a catalog
Or the sunbed section of the Argos catalogue.
I've never really understood this.
I mean, when your mum decides she's gonna redecorate your room tomorrow, its no good just chucking your stash in the kitchen bin is it? What if the dog gets at it and makes a mess, the bag could split, someone decides they need to fish out that receipt from earlier, anything could happen! So, what you do is nonchalantly declare you are going on a bike ride, and while you are on the country lane with no traffic, just chuck it all in the hedge. Who knows, it might still be there when you go back in two days time. If not, keep an eye out because you just KNOW someone else is going to have the same thing happen in a few days time.
Makes sense. I wondered if there was some weird system of where to leave the stuff.
Was it any good?
If there's a pornvid in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now.
It's just a spring clean for the porn queen Yes, there were two discs you could go buy but in the long run It's Blu-ray 4k you want your porn to be on
This is getting rarer as hedgerows are being decimated. Help save them https://www.saveourhedgerows.co.uk/the-project-2/
I'm slightly triggered by them having put 1.2 and 1.4 on Disk2. What's on Disk 1? 1.0, 1.1 and 1.3? Love to see the release process behind that.
1.3 is a prequel
The dodgy USB sticks the following generations are going to find in hedgerows in the future...
USB stick with Old & Honry part 28
Does it work?
I can't believe I had to scroll this far down to see this question being asked.
Not to be judgemental but that font choice makes the whole thing look a bit tacky.
Ugh that’s put me off it now
It really is a staple of growing up here that you had to have found a porn magazine in a bush at least once in your life. Everytime we'd play football the game would be stopped t least once because someone's gone to get the ball in a bush and come out with Milfs gone wild
Good to know that the porn fairy hasn't been entirely replaced in this internet age
Does it still work?
I’ll keep you updated
Tesco value pornography - Every little helps!!
You're joking, but Poundland (or was it Poundstretcher - both quite appropriate) did sell £1 porn DVDs for a while.
Poundland! So bizzare, especially because it was a place that attracted children etc
Why is finding porn in the hedges so common. I live in America and my dad has stories of finding a crate of playboy magazines. Even I found magazine pages of porn. Who is stashing all this porn in the wild and why?
Before the Internet, it was a "pass it forward", karma thing. Once a bloke had grown tired 5 a mag or vid, he tossed into a hedgerow for the next guy to discover
here's some real /r/abandonedporn
Mavis off corrie
*Every few seconds another hedgerow is decimated* *Please help protect these valuable habitats for the benefit of future generations*
What could possibly be NSFW about a line of hawthorns and blackthorn...oh, right
Clean it up, play it. Give us a review.
Clean it up, play it, then clean it up again…
It used to be just random pages from Razzle back when I was a kid. What are the kids going to find in 10 years time if we're in the DVD age of porn found in bushes?
QR codes
Wow how privliged are you. Back in my day we had to search next to the train track for porn.
Ive got to that age , i quite fancy those.
1.2 and 1.4?
Did it play?
>DVD 2 Not much use really, the story doesn't make sense if you have to start the series half-way through.
First time I’ve seen my nan in years.
What's their OnlyGrans account?
/r/abandonedporn ?
I thought this was going to be a discussion about hedgelaying styles or techniques maybe. Now I'm sad.
That's my mother
God this comment section is savage! Really brightened up my Monday afternoon stuck at work.
Bush porn in my day was newspapers. Bush porn in the future is probably going to be a QR code.
> OLD & HORNY [MFW](https://cdn.episode.ninja/file/episodeninja/74786.jpg)
Bad Bitches in the Bingo Hall
Didn't know ow uk hedgerows came with dvd players posh.
OMG I misread the thread title and thought it was about hedgehogs. This brings back thoughts about my teenage years when I saw the outline of my grandmothers body wearing a thin nightie against a backlight. Shudder, something a boy should not see.
Yes finally a new post for my subreddit r/dvdsGW
Why is my mum on a dvd?
She's been on everything else, DVD was the only thing left/s
Did you also manage to find DVD 1?
2005 porn hit different.
Big Inheritance incoming.
Oh that's where I left it
How you used to find porn as a kid, before the Internet made it so much easier
Good old bush porn
Did it do the job though? We all know you tried it out.
Even more amazing is that this isn’t even porn as it has a certification, so… what is it? 😳
God I remember when me and my mate found a whole bag of these cds.. I’m pretty sure they took one home as well
Read this as UK hedgehogs at first..
They look absolutely delighted with their retirement plan
I bet they're not making DVDs like this any more. What are the older ladies going to do to top up their pensions now? OnlyNans... obviously
If the first porno mag you read wasn’t found in the woods are you even British
Use to just be magazine’s that grew in bushes
Mum?
To see old white women got docked down check out Wesley pipes
Is that what they're calling themselves?
You got a DVD writer bro?
Kids today with their ease of access to every hardcore porn known to man will never know anything of the bristling joy to be felt when discovering a discarded shag mag in a bush.
Get with the times, its USB sticks in bushes these days
I remember always finding shit like this as a kid laying around in random places on my council estate lol
This is a personal favourite of mine