>In the amazing book Moby Dick by the author Herman Melville... ...the pirate Ahab encounters many hardships. His entire life is set around trying to kill a certain whale. I think this is sad because this whale doesn’t have any emotions, and doesn’t know how bad Ahab wants to kill him. He’s just a poor big animal. And I feel bad for Ahab as well, because he thinks that his life will be better if he can kill this whale, but in reality it won’t help him at all. I was very saddened by this book, and I felt many emotions for the characters. And I felt saddest of all when I read the boring chapters that were only descriptions of whales, because I knew that the author was just trying to save us from his own sad story, just for a little while.
Apparently Melville only wanted to write an encyclopaedia of whales and whaling, and all that story at the start and end was just some fluff that the publishers made him write because story books sell better.
I never met him, my ex did in a professional capacity. And he was rude and dismissive to her.
And I don’t care how many people like me after meeting me, it’s not something that concerns me.
Which is ironic because i can’t imagine Cyril would exactly be running up the steps of the overpass to end it all.
But then you can clearly see the pain in his eyes and the finger pointed to his head and his pic starts to give off a whole different vibe. I’m kinda worried for Cyril and the maker of this whole puzzle ngl. Maybe he needed the ice lolly today. I’ve had days like that.
Dear Daughter 7 usually reads to Dear Son.
So that's at least 8 kids without actually learning to navigate slightly unusual parenting events without aid.
DON'T go on mumsnet. It's always like this, plus they're all transphobes as well. It's a total quagmire of people you wouln't want to be cornered by at a school event.
Ah, so NOT like 007, where are genuinely are 00s 1-6 etc
I just noticed that Timmy Hedgehog is not just dead, but also comically flat.
edit - Timmy Hedgehog's childhood violent death is also considered "a shame". Is this mother sure she hasn't picked up a Viz annual or something?
> [they're all transphobes](https://www.piratesandprincesses.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Everyone-I-Dont-Like-is-Hitler.jpg)
Might have hit a nerve on that one.
Squirrels are actually (at least theoretically) [immune to fall damage](https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/did-you-know/squirrels-can-survive-fall-any-height-least-hypothetically)
I imagine the artist had it all worked out with the two paths being connected to Cyril. Then when it came to the page layout, Cyril got repositioned so he would fit on the page. Alas the maze was not moved
There was probably another line segment above his shoulder that was removed. Maybe they changed the character, and didn't like how it looked behind his ear?
I was imagining a "paper towns" scenario where maze artists put incomplete/impossible mazes out to show off their work and catch people steal them and reproduce them without buying them. Whoever invented Cyril is about to score a payday.
"And thus, Cyril is driven to depression, drinking and eventual suicide when he realizes his path in life and the road to success will never intersect. The end."
Cyril need to head left until he gets to the wall then turn right and go forward 5 planks, the lolly is then on his right, and he will have avoided all those cable that represent a serious tripping hazard.
In fact Cyril really ought to tidy up his room and then he will surely find the lolly anyway, and will be less likely to lose it in the first place.
Sort your life out Cyril!
It's supposed to teach kids about the very child-targeted topic of quantum tunnelling, there's a chance that they can go from one path to another despite there not being a direct way there without harming physics as we know it.
Looks like the goofy wee prick ain't getting a lolly. Get it up ya Cyril.
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“Does the white whale actually symbolize the unknowability and meaningless of human existence...?” "No, it's just a fucking fish."
>In the amazing book Moby Dick by the author Herman Melville... ...the pirate Ahab encounters many hardships. His entire life is set around trying to kill a certain whale. I think this is sad because this whale doesn’t have any emotions, and doesn’t know how bad Ahab wants to kill him. He’s just a poor big animal. And I feel bad for Ahab as well, because he thinks that his life will be better if he can kill this whale, but in reality it won’t help him at all. I was very saddened by this book, and I felt many emotions for the characters. And I felt saddest of all when I read the boring chapters that were only descriptions of whales, because I knew that the author was just trying to save us from his own sad story, just for a little while.
Just for a little whale
Apparently Melville only wanted to write an encyclopaedia of whales and whaling, and all that story at the start and end was just some fluff that the publishers made him write because story books sell better.
“The pirate Ahab”??? He’s not a pirate 🏴☠️😂😂
If Ahab isn't a pirate, how comes he has a pegleg and drives a ship? Checkmate atheist 😎🎸
What's a pirates favourite letter? You think it's Rrrrr but it's the C we love
What's a pirate's favourite crime? L-arrrrrr-ceny. _Sorry, everyone. I... sorry._
Ahab who? Ahab to go to the loo
But it might have raised the book in the reviewer's esteem if he had been.
Argh, yea be right matey.
So the whale is like his elephant in the room!?
No, it’s a fucking mammal!
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That’s David fucking Attenborough!
That’s *Sir* David fucking Attenborough to you!
The rich cunt that owned Jurassic Park?
Nah, that's his brother, Richard.
Dick.
Everyone loves David Attenborough. Everyone that hasn’t met him, that is. I’m just saying.
That's a strange comment to make about a well-respected national treasure. How many people like you after meeting you, may I ask?
I never met him, my ex did in a professional capacity. And he was rude and dismissive to her. And I don’t care how many people like me after meeting me, it’s not something that concerns me.
Whatever \-George Costanza
It symbolises that revenge/anger will destroy you/the person that harbours it. Isn’t it? 🥺
Only in the brief hour and a half that you write your A Level English literature exam in. After that, it's just a fucking mammal.
You made me actually do a lol
Couldn't help but read that in the voice of Naveed Harrid
Stupid wee googly eyed cunt. Enjoy your tree Edit: is it a leaf? Stupid fucking reward either way. Daft prick
This reply has me fucking dying over here man
"just walk like 2 metres, tops"
I fucking love this 🤣
🤣🤣🤣
I think this is the first thing everyone thought of when they saw this post
I think we have to encourage Cyril to jump off an overpass, but I'm not sure what message that sends.
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Which is ironic because i can’t imagine Cyril would exactly be running up the steps of the overpass to end it all. But then you can clearly see the pain in his eyes and the finger pointed to his head and his pic starts to give off a whole different vibe. I’m kinda worried for Cyril and the maker of this whole puzzle ngl. Maybe he needed the ice lolly today. I’ve had days like that.
*Descended
This one, obviously https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4769728-is-this-an-inappropriate-book-for-a-4yo
> Nevermind that DD7 usually reads to DS and I probably wouldn’t show it to her either? What in the world?
DD7 is nothing compared to my DD44 Dostovei
Duel-wielding those bad boys, so satisfying BAMBAMBAMBAM
Mum's groups are cults
Dear Daughter 7 usually reads to Dear Son. So that's at least 8 kids without actually learning to navigate slightly unusual parenting events without aid. DON'T go on mumsnet. It's always like this, plus they're all transphobes as well. It's a total quagmire of people you wouln't want to be cornered by at a school event.
I think it means the daughter is 7. It used to mean the 7th daughter but it seems to have morphed. The book/post was funny.
Ah, so NOT like 007, where are genuinely are 00s 1-6 etc I just noticed that Timmy Hedgehog is not just dead, but also comically flat. edit - Timmy Hedgehog's childhood violent death is also considered "a shame". Is this mother sure she hasn't picked up a Viz annual or something?
> [they're all transphobes](https://www.piratesandprincesses.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Everyone-I-Dont-Like-is-Hitler.jpg) Might have hit a nerve on that one.
I haven't laughed that hard in ages.
i'm just reading all of these comments about how the cartoon squirrel isn't getting a lolly and i see him being recommended suicide lmfao
Pov you're you
Fucken lol
>squirrel Surely it's a chipmunk?
It's name is Cyril, not Cypmunk.
Ah. I assumed they were going for alliteration, I'd completely missed the rhyme. Cyril the Squirrel it is.
Well squirrels can fall quite far and be unharmed
Squirrels are actually (at least theoretically) [immune to fall damage](https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/did-you-know/squirrels-can-survive-fall-any-height-least-hypothetically)
Cyrils shit out of luck
Enjoy your leaf bitch
leafy greens propaganda
He's a fucking squirrel
It's an inanimate fucking object
You’re an inanimate fucking object
*You're* an inanimate fucking object!
Cyril was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes after too many lollies, and is now restricted to salads.
Also schizophrenia, he’s literally holding the lolly and the maze is completely in his mind.
I imagine the artist had it all worked out with the two paths being connected to Cyril. Then when it came to the page layout, Cyril got repositioned so he would fit on the page. Alas the maze was not moved
There was probably another line segment above his shoulder that was removed. Maybe they changed the character, and didn't like how it looked behind his ear?
can you imagine being the person who's like "can't wait to see the puzzle I made! ... yo what tf happened"
I was imagining a "paper towns" scenario where maze artists put incomplete/impossible mazes out to show off their work and catch people steal them and reproduce them without buying them. Whoever invented Cyril is about to score a payday.
This guy InDesign's
Fold the page down toward him -
and stick a pencil through it. SCIENCE.
It's [here]( https://imgur.com/xbRsjd5.jpg), mate.
r/angryupvote
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https://media.tenor.com/tL2j0tzQKFYAAAAC/fly-no-need-to-be-upset.gif
That really rustled my jimmies
I mean, he's not wrong
I've been had too many times, I thought I was about to get rick rolled or lose the game
Well played sir well played
u/Cyril here you go
r/uselessredcircle
I mean without it the joke kinda doesn't make any sense
Any chance my comment was also a joke?
No, sorry.
Lol
Rainbow lolly yet I'm only seeing red, yellow and green. SMDH I'd take them to court over missing colours
Rasta lolly.
Traffic light lolly, surely
No it's the Guinea lolly
Isn't that amber?
You have to use the leaf like Link in Wind Waker and glide over to the lolly.
Oh, that was one cool game, and the leaf was so unique. You could wave it like a fan, you could ride the wind with it, you could smoke it...I think...
The good old Deku leaf.
Never thought I’d see a Zelda reference in r/CasualUK
That game that no one has heard of in the UK, The Legend of Zelda?
The obscure series of which 1 in 20 UK residents own at least one entry? So weird to see someone reference it.
And on a website with demographics making those statistics more favourable, not to mention with a high prevalence of gaming content? Surely not
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Blokes in their 50s? You mean the blokes that were teenagers in the 80s and probably played on a NES?
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haha you're right. I'm going back to sleep.
How this isn't the top comment is beyond me.
The top comment uses the phrase “goofy wee prick” Does that help?
How else are kids supposed to learn that animals like Cyril should forage for their own food in nature and not be fed sugary human fare.
"And thus, Cyril is driven to depression, drinking and eventual suicide when he realizes his path in life and the road to success will never intersect. The end."
Why did I read that in David Attenborough’s voice
Name and shame the restaurant.
Daily Mail: ANGRY redditors flock to leave bad reviews for Harvester in Milton Keynes over Cyril’s lolly FRUSTRATION
/r/compoface
Disappointed to learn that there's no /r/norabattyface to go along with that. Or turn around and hit it with a broom.
They should totally have to pay for therapy.
It’s a Park Holidays UK mascot. OP is on holiday (or may own a mobile home on one of their sites) Edit: their main mascot is called loopy the rabbit.
Visiting family in Skipton. Absolute arse end of nowhere it was. Fuck all to do but kid's puzzles.
[Here you go mate.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uQkQ4conTLk&cbrd=1&t=1m10s) Enjoy yourself.
sounds a wee bit like peter from horrid henry ngl
When Sam Neill arrives with his pencil, Cyril's going to experience some Event Horizon level shit
The shortest distance to the rainbow lolly is no distance at all.
Cyril need to head left until he gets to the wall then turn right and go forward 5 planks, the lolly is then on his right, and he will have avoided all those cable that represent a serious tripping hazard. In fact Cyril really ought to tidy up his room and then he will surely find the lolly anyway, and will be less likely to lose it in the first place. Sort your life out Cyril!
Looks like Cyril has had too much leaf.
Leaf him alone.
Stop bickering, let’s get to the root of the issue. Where it all stems from.
“Another place mat, sir?”
... please.
Designed to keep your kid busy until they’re old & gray!
And complaining about it on reddit
This place teaches children even if you try hard your still going to fail
you're\* 😜
Y'o'u'r'e
What *of* you done?
Cyril has been scammed. Justice for Cyril!
Dunno mate, that’s a tough one
I can help Cyril recognise his impending existential crisis.
Cyril has been fucked over, poor Cyril.
Aren’t we all.
The real rainbow lolly was the friends you made along the way
I feel like this is a plot for a cancelled Rare game from the late 90s.
The clue is in Cyril’s body language… You have to manifest
It's supposed to teach kids about the very child-targeted topic of quantum tunnelling, there's a chance that they can go from one path to another despite there not being a direct way there without harming physics as we know it.
Not sure what mammal Cyril is, Has he lost a tail through syphilis, It's infected his mind and spinal cord, Something Something I am bored.
Don’t be Cyril, then you’ll find it fairly easy
Oh for god sake this is Cyril's approach to the three sided, four angled shape isn't it?
Cyril’s a knob head anyway
r/crappydesign
No wonder Cyril's confused the poor fucker
Cyril, you ain't getting that rainbow lolly fam
Cyril’s on a diet, he gets a leaf.
You jump. There are no rules.
It's right there, right past all the squiggles
Fuck off Cyril you useless cunt!
Put up bum?
Poor cyril
Never played super Mario 3? The leaf enabled flight, so that's how you get it
I think the idea is that too him HIS rainbow lolly would simply be a leaf? Since he's not human?
One of the paths goes above the path which leads to the goal. Just jump down onto the correct path 😊
Way to keep a dumb kid like me quiet and focused, forever.
Just needs to jump off the right hand side of the first bridge it's not bloody rocket science guys
Jump off the bridge and onto the path that leads to the lolly.
Just use the leaf as helicopter blades and fly to the lolly.
You have one job 😂
What in the frick frack fuck is this
Cyril would need to get that leaf, and jump on to the next lane using the leaf as a parachute.
I can see a tricolour lolly, but not a rainbow one
I don't know what y'all beefing for.... He can still have a delicious leaf
The way to solve these sorts of things are simple, start at the solution and work back to find the problem.
Go on then...
The solution is to follow the line, the problem is it doesn’t go anywhere useful.
What kind of rainbow has three colours?
Haven't seen anyone also mention, it's lacking in the "rainbow" department.
12 Bucks for a 4 ounce Cheeseburger and you cant give kids the satisfaction of completing a puzzle
Take a right at the first junction
It’s the other side of the spaghetti
I only see a traffic light lolly.
That lolly isn't a rainbow
It's impossible! Poor Dylan XD
This person doesn't give a shit about there job 😅
Another place mat, sir?
Ahhh golden sands. What a glorious place
Wow, they really cocked that up didn’t they?!
Poor Cyril, confined to a lolly-less life.
https://youtube.com/@rtbvideosd8783
I would usually follow the path from the "prize" but yeah, the artist/editor failed on this one lol
This is actually a subconscious social experiment to say “fuck lollies, find nature”
That's a shitty rainbow.
r/hmm
You done fucked up A-A-Ron
Gave up, went for the El Fuego pizza instead 👍
It's simple go in a straight line
Oh shit
Left hand side near the tomato
Yup, looks like he ain't getting one. Poor bastard.
Why the hate for Cyril? All he wanted was his lolly.
Been looking at this for 15mins - been tryna go from the lolly to the bear thing💀
Cyril's fucked
Cyril going to go get some green bud instead.