>So last year went for a walk to a lake and a swan with cygnets casually swam over, I thought "oh cool, she want's to show me her babies".
Sorry but having dealt with swans before this made me laugh, there's only two things in a swan's mind at any moment: Where to feed next and murder!
edit:
>If I go back this year is there anything I can take as a peace offering to help it see I don't want to eat its babies?
I'm starting to believe you have a death wish
That video is just perfect.
Should just be shown to people all the time to get across the point that wild animals are amazing, but they're not domesticated animals that understand you're not about to eat them. So maybe don't try to pet everything
Ok, that is a very good video and should be mandatory viewing in all schools! It looks totally chill and domesticated and I would have pet it and fed it a hotdog.
Their wings and strong and will leave cuts and bruises if they get on top of you which is what they will try to do as their primary method of killing prey is drowning.
Their beaks are what you actually need to be careful of. They will nip your skin and they are persistent. It will bruise and can break skin thought that isn't what they are trying to do, they are trying to drag you to water.
Also they have good memories. Treat them nice, they will be nice to you. If you are horrible to them, beware.
This is true. I laughed at one once in the park as it hissed at me. 12 years later I was coming home from the pub and noticed a Swan shaped shadow lurking in an entry. I knew immediately it was that swan from the park all those years ago. I tucked in my arms and ran like the wind.
But they're also bullying cowards so treat them nice isn't necessarily true. They will chase you if they think you are weak and most people believe the crap about them breaking your arm so will run away. I used to live in a town with 50+ swans in the quay (it was a public area with crazy golf, play park, band stand, hired boats and pedalos, etc) and they used to bully people in big groups, especially kids in the play park (didn't have a fence around it).
If they come at you, walk towards them while shouting, they will back down very quickly. When I was a young teenager I would stand up to them (I was probably between 4' and 5' tall) even if there was a group of them and it worked every time. Most of the locals knew but the tourists would run. We never antagonised them but wouldn't run away either, just tried to co-exist.
I was a toddler and was attacked by one. It bit my finger (and I bled! 🥺) and then got on top of me flapping its wings wildly after it knocked me over.
Not gunna lie, it was fucking awful! I still remember it quite clearly.
Luckily my grampas good ol’ swift size eleven came to the rescue.
I was bitten when I was about 5 when I was feeding one, the ridges in its beak broke the skin. I realised what shits they are at that moment (not the graceful, noble birds they pretend to be), they're willing to bite the hand that feeds them.
You've got it spot on but it's good to note they're also more aggressive after mating season and when they have their young with them. They will back down most of the time but when they have their young their aggression can be highly unpredictable so better to leave them alone than escalate.
This rumour comes from injuries people sustain during their attempted swan escape, falling over a breaking an arm or a leg etc
In real life swans are actually pretty weak and have hollow bones like all birds, so they dont exactly have bone breaking strength
One attacked me and my wife in a castle ground back in 2017. I was able to fend it off with a shopping bag, albeit a large one. Some onlookers shot me evil looks for swinging a bag at the queen's dinner.
I work with wild birds and I’ve been pecked many times on fingers and arms and it’s no worse than catching your finger in a peg or clip, and smacked by their wing and it bloody hurts and it’s a shock but it’s a myth that it will break bones. They mostly stand full height, (which is actually pretty intimidating) hiss and warn you unless you get too close.
It's not so much the actual damage they can do to you - it's their persistence & sheer viciousness. They don't quit if they see you as a threat, until you actually run away.
Even just feeding a friendly one can give you a nip that will bruise, or break a nail, just because they're a bit clumsy & don't care about your fingers whilst they're picking peas or nuts out of your hand. Imagine that, but with the will to kill you backing it up. it's like being poked repeatedly with the sharp end of a pair of pliers, opening & closing.
Don't approach their cygnets, keep parent-side if you can as you approach. Let the swans approach you if they want to, once you're within two or three yards.
If you like your fingers, drop food in front of them, don't try to feed directly from your hand. Not bread, please. They don't really seem to care what they eat, but bread is empty calories. Raw unsalted nuts, peas, raw porridge oats \[not ready brek\], bird mix, salad \[ripped up lettuce etc…no pickled onions;) all fine.
No, but the beak has a serrated edge that lets them grip/cut stuff. It's unlikely they would cut you, but they will certainly cause grazes that could go deep enough to draw blood. And of course, once they've smelt blood they're like piranhas!
Think I'll just keep my distance and not enjoy sitting at the lakes edge, not worth the risk. Last thing I need is a broken finger or it causing a cut and having to sit in causality on a hot Sunday afternoon with the drunks while I wait for bird rabies shot or whatever they give you.
I mean, I would say they are unlikely to really hurt you as an adult. Mostly they will do their own thing, but they are way more "asshole" ish in behaviour vs Geese who are more reasonable if you explain what you are doing and are polite. Swan took a "nip" at me a while back and was just that, didn't do anything just made an attempt.
>If I kept still would it have just quacked at me, pecked a bit, flapped up a fuss and then left me alone
That's mostly been my experience. I just ignore them and keep on walking, they usually declare victory and walk away to tell their tale of the glorious battle against the humans.
But there was that one time I was sitting by my local mill pond with all the other people having their picnics. There were a pair of swans in the water with their cygnets, and they were nowhere near any sort of danger from the people.
But, for some bizarre reason, one of the swans got out of the water, clumsily dragged itself up the steep bank, and then proceeded to harass all the people sitting on the grass! I think it was more for food than to protect their young.
But then the cygnets started to get out of the water as well ... and then people wanted to go seem them ... so the swans started to get all upset.
Swans really aren't the smartest birds.
What kind of job gets you attacked by six different birds (plus the unspecified ones that have no substance behind their attacks) multiple times?
Are you a postie on hand-glider duty?
Although I do somewhat believe you I will investigate further as I have also seen puffins on tv and they looks incapable of meaningful violence or intimidation of a human.
My hometown has lots of them at the loch, you get used to them, but one time was freaky.
We got a chippy and sat at a bench, but it was like the weeping angels from Doctor Who, every time we looked up there was a ring of swans getting closer and stopping when we looked up! We went back to the car to finish our chips.
One bit me once at a farm park. I was feeding it and it grabbed hold of the fleshy part at the base of my thumb. It fecking hurt and there were tears and the fecker wouldn’t let go for a little while.
I interact with some regularly - I feed them.
It's extremely rare for them to attack. They'll hiss a lot, and defend their cygnets/mate/territory sometimes - just leave 'em alone if they're too feisty. I find that telling them to STFU works surprisingly well.
Worst case I've experienced is a nick from a beak - they don't have teeth, but can kinda slash your skin. Super rare, and not a big deal.
I lived in the UK from ages 1 to 3 - from what I've been told a swan once decided that he'd like a bite of a sandwich I was holding, which I didn't let go and then proceeded to run away, chased by said bird.
Had one attack the bottom of my pram about a month ago. It ran over and just went for it.
All I know is that it was really strong and I am grateful that it went for the pram and not my 19-month-old or me.
Don't mess with swans!
In my youth me and a mate tried nicking some eggs from a swans nest, we were not successful. The Swan came charging across the lake, wings flapping, hissing and looking very very angry. I got pecked a few times and the nip wasn't pleasant as their beaks are slightly serated to hold fish. They won't seriously hurt you but if you trip over your in for a good pecking and bruising from said pecks.
I collected eggs as a lad. I know it's frowned on now but was a popular hobby back then. No idea what they taste like though, I used to just make 2 holes in em and blow the contents out lol. Never got a swans egg for my collection which is probably a good thing in hindsight.
in 2006 an aggressive swan chewed through the braided steel cables that controlled the rudder of a two man kayak I was in. It was notoriously aggressive on the canal.
They look scary when you are standing on the bank but when you are sitting in a tippy kayak and they charge you at eye level it is bloody unsettling! They are very territorial.
I'm extremely surprised this reference made it, and there's only been one tedious Hot Fuzz reference so far.
I have a HMHB fanclub sticker on my suitcase and on a recent holiday to Australia somebody asked if it was a "English Tea Club".
Was she royalty? Did she wipe her bum on it? I heard that swan feathers are only for royalty to wipe their bums on or am I just thinking of swan necks?
If you ever make a family crest that image should be on there, a man with his leg out standing between a stylised swan (made to look monstrous) and a toddler. In fact I'll AI do it for you, what colour was your dads hair?
The other week a Swan came the water and spread his wings and quacked then waddled back in the water. I was watching the babies along with the parents, I guess he didn't like that.
I have been bitten by a Swan before on my fingers. In his defence I was feeding the ducks and he was trying to get the lettuce I had in my hand. Bloody hurt though.
I went to a busy lake side cafe once, a swan was sat in the doorway. The staff had given up trying to shift it and were just using a side entrance instead.
I had a brief go at shifting it and got a solid peck on my leg for the trouble. That guy was not moving.
I was bit on the knee by a goose when I was 6. I was fucking terrified, the fucker was as tall as me. I had a red mark on my knee lol. The drama is far worse than the injury.
Sitting at 'The Mill Pond' pub in Cambridge and a Swan reached under the barrier and nipped my Nephew and he slapped it, Hard! The collective stunned silence was deafening, then my Nephew broke the silence by exclaiming " Swans, I have previous with swans, had to drop kick one once"
My sister used to rescue injured birds and among them were swans on two occasions. One had a damaged wing and attacked me one time. The beaks hurt. Didn't break the skin but left a nasty bruise
Wild animals can be craaazy.
I attempted to rescue a baby field mouse from my sadistic cat, who rarely kills small animals, just tortures them for her pleasure.
The little sod bit me. Twice!
First it was just a nip, second time, the rambuncious rodent sunk it’s teeth into a finger, and was hanging on for dear life.
I take blood thinning meds, so it wasn’t a pretty sight. I finally managed to get way out of the cat’s reach and waited patiently for said rodent to release it’s vice-like grip
Ahh Swans, beautiful birds.. just right nasty bastards!.. funnily enough there's a pair of swans near me with some of there young and EVERY time I ride past (with them on the bank) the male sticks his stupidly long neck out and goes to peck me o.0.. I might just confront the fucker next time and ask what's his beef 😂
Like most things in the animal kingdom, they usually start with a bluff, and if you stand your ground they will often stop short. However, if you don't then move they will often escalate. This happened to me when I was a small boy, out with my father. The swan charged us, we stood still, and it stopped just out of range. It hissed at us a bit more, and when we didn't move it came at us properly, so we ran away.
Back in my country a swam drowned a man. He was swimming to save a pregnant woman and the swan hit him and he drowned. I don’t mess with swans anymore.
I don't have the photo to hand but I have once held a swan. It was captured by a licensed swan wrangler and had its wings tied together, then she said "hold this" and went back for its mate.
I don't believe they can break your arm. A good kick in the chest will sort them out if they get narky.
I got bitten on the thumb by a swan when I was younger. I seem to recall it hurt quite a lot and the swan seemed suitably satisfied by my distress and left me alone after that.
The problem I see is daft folk feeding them. They decide that all folk should feed them, and they pester you and can be quite aggressive. Ffs they are wild, leave them alone, they are not toys. Living on the coast and in a touristy area, they were never any prob until folk started feeding them
I have given this some thought and have a solution. Swans have quite the reputation for being able to break a man's arm with its wings. However, if a man has broken arms already then the swans prime attack is useless, therefore I suggest you break both arms before entering into a conflict with one. Simple
Twice:
Was canoeing once and was attacked. All feathers and noise. No damage. But I did have a paddle to defend myself with.
Was pushing my first child past the local pond in his pushchair. Swan attacked and pecked at him, I turned the pushchair around and put me between the swan and my son and got pecked in the nads for my trouble (it was quite a punch). The swan then chased us down the high street past Pizza Express. In the end, the council had to capture and rehome the swan, as it was simply attacking everyone.
You’re right. Swans breaking your arm is bollocks that brits tell their kids to make them cautious, that gets repeated as if its gospel. It’s like south koreans with Fan Death.
An adult swan is 15-30kg and a couple feet tall folks, with hollow bones optimised for flight. And even If it sprang into the air to attack you, it would then have no solid surface to generate force against. Yes its breast muscles are strong for its size, but If one attacked you its hollow bones would break before yours did.
On the rare occasions that people have been ‘hurt by swans’, the human just got flustered by the flapping and fell on their arse or elbow. Then they’re embarrassed and lie about it
I wonder if a Swan would ever dive bomb a person.
My pigeon dive bombs 'strangers' in his territory and its pretty intimidating even though he's quite small. Pigeons are very skilled flyers, also with strong breast muscles so can do vertical take offs.
My dad once told me that I don't respect the Royal Family.
I told him to shut up and let me finish my swan sandwich.
(yes, it was just the one swan, actually).
One thing that confuses me about this "all unringed swans belong to the monarch" (I nearly wrote queen then 😁) is that apparently all unringed swans belong to the monarch, how do you get to ring one if the unringed swan belongs to the monarch?
Swans are basically arseholes. We have shitloads where I live, there a breeding sanctuary not far and a few reserves.dont be fooled by the sweet beak and elegance. These thugs are basically roadboys with feathers. - seriously though, beautiful birds but but basically a goose with a worse attitude. To answer your question - if there are no railings just walk on by, ignore and go feed some pigeons. Their beak doesn't hurt per-say but the aggression does because they basically want to eliminate you.
Swans will Break. A. Man's. Arm.
Jesus Christ. It's like none of you are truly British.
Also - New Forest ponies will bite your face off. (They like the sweet cheek meat.)
>So last year went for a walk to a lake and a swan with cygnets casually swam over, I thought "oh cool, she want's to show me her babies". Sorry but having dealt with swans before this made me laugh, there's only two things in a swan's mind at any moment: Where to feed next and murder! edit: >If I go back this year is there anything I can take as a peace offering to help it see I don't want to eat its babies? I'm starting to believe you have a death wish
OP has strong [man who tried to pet the warthog](https://youtu.be/6Yh_VoQdLcw?si=OsyC7bJChd2DW7cH) vibes
That video is just perfect. Should just be shown to people all the time to get across the point that wild animals are amazing, but they're not domesticated animals that understand you're not about to eat them. So maybe don't try to pet everything
Ok, that is a very good video and should be mandatory viewing in all schools! It looks totally chill and domesticated and I would have pet it and fed it a hotdog.
Their wings and strong and will leave cuts and bruises if they get on top of you which is what they will try to do as their primary method of killing prey is drowning. Their beaks are what you actually need to be careful of. They will nip your skin and they are persistent. It will bruise and can break skin thought that isn't what they are trying to do, they are trying to drag you to water. Also they have good memories. Treat them nice, they will be nice to you. If you are horrible to them, beware.
This is true. I laughed at one once in the park as it hissed at me. 12 years later I was coming home from the pub and noticed a Swan shaped shadow lurking in an entry. I knew immediately it was that swan from the park all those years ago. I tucked in my arms and ran like the wind.
Good thinking, the arm-tucking. I was reading the comments going: “But everybody knows a swan can break your arm soon as look at you!”.
This made me chuckle!
But they're also bullying cowards so treat them nice isn't necessarily true. They will chase you if they think you are weak and most people believe the crap about them breaking your arm so will run away. I used to live in a town with 50+ swans in the quay (it was a public area with crazy golf, play park, band stand, hired boats and pedalos, etc) and they used to bully people in big groups, especially kids in the play park (didn't have a fence around it). If they come at you, walk towards them while shouting, they will back down very quickly. When I was a young teenager I would stand up to them (I was probably between 4' and 5' tall) even if there was a group of them and it worked every time. Most of the locals knew but the tourists would run. We never antagonised them but wouldn't run away either, just tried to co-exist.
I was a toddler and was attacked by one. It bit my finger (and I bled! 🥺) and then got on top of me flapping its wings wildly after it knocked me over. Not gunna lie, it was fucking awful! I still remember it quite clearly. Luckily my grampas good ol’ swift size eleven came to the rescue.
I was bitten when I was about 5 when I was feeding one, the ridges in its beak broke the skin. I realised what shits they are at that moment (not the graceful, noble birds they pretend to be), they're willing to bite the hand that feeds them.
Is that what he calls it?
You've got it spot on but it's good to note they're also more aggressive after mating season and when they have their young with them. They will back down most of the time but when they have their young their aggression can be highly unpredictable so better to leave them alone than escalate.
I guess their babies must be delicious?
Are you describing swans here, or are you writing about crocodiles?
Similar just smaller teeth and feathers
Crocodiles have large feathers?
I've heard the old story that they can break an arm
Or blow up a house.
How the fuck can a swan use a foot pump?
Carefully
They make it look effortless.
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More a Canadian Goose kinda vibe
From Canada: we are sorry for our vicious geese.
How dare you send them to golf courses in Colorado?
So very very sorry. Many apologies for the golfers of Colorado from Canada.
Any luck catching them IRA mercenaries then?
It’s just the one IRA Mercenary actually…
This rumour comes from injuries people sustain during their attempted swan escape, falling over a breaking an arm or a leg etc In real life swans are actually pretty weak and have hollow bones like all birds, so they dont exactly have bone breaking strength
They took Aikido lessons from Steven Seagull
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Got it. So I can put one in a choke hold and it will poop its pants like Steven did.
Hollow bones are stronger than solid - cracks don’t propagate so easily through them (or something like that).
Only a man’s arm though. Women are safe.
So swans are sexist then those bar stewards
One attacked me and my wife in a castle ground back in 2017. I was able to fend it off with a shopping bag, albeit a large one. Some onlookers shot me evil looks for swinging a bag at the queen's dinner.
Well what they expect you do to, just stand there and be molested by a swan? That swan could have been the 'Jack The Ripper' of swans for all we know.
I work with wild birds and I’ve been pecked many times on fingers and arms and it’s no worse than catching your finger in a peg or clip, and smacked by their wing and it bloody hurts and it’s a shock but it’s a myth that it will break bones. They mostly stand full height, (which is actually pretty intimidating) hiss and warn you unless you get too close.
This is the type of reply we needed.
It's not so much the actual damage they can do to you - it's their persistence & sheer viciousness. They don't quit if they see you as a threat, until you actually run away. Even just feeding a friendly one can give you a nip that will bruise, or break a nail, just because they're a bit clumsy & don't care about your fingers whilst they're picking peas or nuts out of your hand. Imagine that, but with the will to kill you backing it up. it's like being poked repeatedly with the sharp end of a pair of pliers, opening & closing. Don't approach their cygnets, keep parent-side if you can as you approach. Let the swans approach you if they want to, once you're within two or three yards. If you like your fingers, drop food in front of them, don't try to feed directly from your hand. Not bread, please. They don't really seem to care what they eat, but bread is empty calories. Raw unsalted nuts, peas, raw porridge oats \[not ready brek\], bird mix, salad \[ripped up lettuce etc…no pickled onions;) all fine.
They do bite. One broke my thumb when I was maybe three years old. Haven't like the majestic cunts since.
Have they got teeth?
[Kind of](https://images.app.goo.gl/s8xu4DkqwkmMgzX3A)
THOSE ARE TEETH! They have teeth, I'm not going to go to the lake again, there are some nice woods nearby I'll be happy here.
No, but the beak has a serrated edge that lets them grip/cut stuff. It's unlikely they would cut you, but they will certainly cause grazes that could go deep enough to draw blood. And of course, once they've smelt blood they're like piranhas!
Strong beaks I gather
Think I'll just keep my distance and not enjoy sitting at the lakes edge, not worth the risk. Last thing I need is a broken finger or it causing a cut and having to sit in causality on a hot Sunday afternoon with the drunks while I wait for bird rabies shot or whatever they give you.
I mean, I would say they are unlikely to really hurt you as an adult. Mostly they will do their own thing, but they are way more "asshole" ish in behaviour vs Geese who are more reasonable if you explain what you are doing and are polite. Swan took a "nip" at me a while back and was just that, didn't do anything just made an attempt.
I might sit close by, wait for a bit, then move a bit closer and just work my way to the waters edge and keep an eye on the edgy bastards.
Only decently far back in their mouth. Look up the insides of their mouth sometime, its kinda creepy
Why don’t you go piss one off, when it hisses, have a look. Then run like the wind
I'm the one that hisses!
Similar to hen's teeth.
>If I kept still would it have just quacked at me, pecked a bit, flapped up a fuss and then left me alone That's mostly been my experience. I just ignore them and keep on walking, they usually declare victory and walk away to tell their tale of the glorious battle against the humans. But there was that one time I was sitting by my local mill pond with all the other people having their picnics. There were a pair of swans in the water with their cygnets, and they were nowhere near any sort of danger from the people. But, for some bizarre reason, one of the swans got out of the water, clumsily dragged itself up the steep bank, and then proceeded to harass all the people sitting on the grass! I think it was more for food than to protect their young. But then the cygnets started to get out of the water as well ... and then people wanted to go seem them ... so the swans started to get all upset. Swans really aren't the smartest birds.
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What kind of job gets you attacked by six different birds (plus the unspecified ones that have no substance behind their attacks) multiple times? Are you a postie on hand-glider duty?
Although I do somewhat believe you I will investigate further as I have also seen puffins on tv and they looks incapable of meaningful violence or intimidation of a human.
My hometown has lots of them at the loch, you get used to them, but one time was freaky. We got a chippy and sat at a bench, but it was like the weeping angels from Doctor Who, every time we looked up there was a ring of swans getting closer and stopping when we looked up! We went back to the car to finish our chips.
One bit me once at a farm park. I was feeding it and it grabbed hold of the fleshy part at the base of my thumb. It fecking hurt and there were tears and the fecker wouldn’t let go for a little while.
I interact with some regularly - I feed them. It's extremely rare for them to attack. They'll hiss a lot, and defend their cygnets/mate/territory sometimes - just leave 'em alone if they're too feisty. I find that telling them to STFU works surprisingly well. Worst case I've experienced is a nick from a beak - they don't have teeth, but can kinda slash your skin. Super rare, and not a big deal.
I lived in the UK from ages 1 to 3 - from what I've been told a swan once decided that he'd like a bite of a sandwich I was holding, which I didn't let go and then proceeded to run away, chased by said bird.
I had one bite my finger as a kid but it didn't hurt at all just felt weird
Had one attack the bottom of my pram about a month ago. It ran over and just went for it. All I know is that it was really strong and I am grateful that it went for the pram and not my 19-month-old or me. Don't mess with swans!
Wonder what it thought the pram was, some sort of weird predator?!
I don't know, but the pram really offended it for some reason! Maybe it had previous beef with a pram?!?
In my youth me and a mate tried nicking some eggs from a swans nest, we were not successful. The Swan came charging across the lake, wings flapping, hissing and looking very very angry. I got pecked a few times and the nip wasn't pleasant as their beaks are slightly serated to hold fish. They won't seriously hurt you but if you trip over your in for a good pecking and bruising from said pecks.
Don't try and steal swan eggs, got it. I bet they are delicious.
I collected eggs as a lad. I know it's frowned on now but was a popular hobby back then. No idea what they taste like though, I used to just make 2 holes in em and blow the contents out lol. Never got a swans egg for my collection which is probably a good thing in hindsight.
in 2006 an aggressive swan chewed through the braided steel cables that controlled the rudder of a two man kayak I was in. It was notoriously aggressive on the canal. They look scary when you are standing on the bank but when you are sitting in a tippy kayak and they charge you at eye level it is bloody unsettling! They are very territorial.
Careful now... There's an obligatory obscure Hmhb reference coming.
I'm extremely surprised this reference made it, and there's only been one tedious Hot Fuzz reference so far. I have a HMHB fanclub sticker on my suitcase and on a recent holiday to Australia somebody asked if it was a "English Tea Club".
Never been to Australia but I been from the Andes to the Indies in me undies.
A swan once gifted me a feather. I gifted it to an ex girlfriend. What a silly mistake. Should have kept it!
Was she royalty? Did she wipe her bum on it? I heard that swan feathers are only for royalty to wipe their bums on or am I just thinking of swan necks?
Swans have this knowledge that if they clamp down on some skin and twist like mad you’ll stop doing whatever it was that annoyed them.
And honestly, good for them.
It's a famous story in my family. A swan hissed and lunged to bite me when I was a toddler and my dad kicked it in the chest to get it away from me.
If you ever make a family crest that image should be on there, a man with his leg out standing between a stylised swan (made to look monstrous) and a toddler. In fact I'll AI do it for you, what colour was your dads hair?
Remindme!
Dark brown, and he has a beard. And the toddler me had a blonde bob lol
[https://imgur.com/a/SqVk63a](https://imgur.com/a/SqVk63a) There you go, don't know how or if possible to embed an image in comments?
Hahahaha that's excellent, I will have to show that to my dad!
and final one:- [https://imgur.com/a/ZUrf9QC](https://imgur.com/a/ZUrf9QC)
[https://imgur.com/a/pZRERlQ](https://imgur.com/a/pZRERlQ) here is another
thought that wasn't bad for AI art until I saw whatever's going on in the top left corner!
Well I didn't want to mention it but that's their other son, the one they don't like to talk about, reared by swans apparently.
Haha I'm actually a daughter ;) but I'll say that creature in the corner represents my brother who was quite the monster at that age
Remindme!
Our family have a similar story. Swan went for me as a toddler, and Dad drop kicked it back into the canal
The other week a Swan came the water and spread his wings and quacked then waddled back in the water. I was watching the babies along with the parents, I guess he didn't like that.
Probably thought you were sizing up the babies to decide which one was going to be the most delicious.
I was sitting with my arse hanging off a punt and a swan swam up for a beakful of buttcheek so my dog barked at it and it casually paddled off.
Damn right, that arse belongs to your dog!
I have been bitten by a Swan before on my fingers. In his defence I was feeding the ducks and he was trying to get the lettuce I had in my hand. Bloody hurt though.
I went to a busy lake side cafe once, a swan was sat in the doorway. The staff had given up trying to shift it and were just using a side entrance instead. I had a brief go at shifting it and got a solid peck on my leg for the trouble. That guy was not moving.
Yes, at Blenheim palace grounds. Pecked at my leg and got some denim. GTFO of it's reach quickly while MeJulie was in stitches. Cunts!
I was bit on the knee by a goose when I was 6. I was fucking terrified, the fucker was as tall as me. I had a red mark on my knee lol. The drama is far worse than the injury.
Yes they will and it will hurt.
Don't worry, OP. He just wants to sniff your hand.
Sitting at 'The Mill Pond' pub in Cambridge and a Swan reached under the barrier and nipped my Nephew and he slapped it, Hard! The collective stunned silence was deafening, then my Nephew broke the silence by exclaiming " Swans, I have previous with swans, had to drop kick one once"
[Getting rid of a swan](https://imgur.com/how-to-deal-with-annoying-swan-UbBrYRj)
I mean yeah, that would work but I might accidently damage its neck.
My sister used to rescue injured birds and among them were swans on two occasions. One had a damaged wing and attacked me one time. The beaks hurt. Didn't break the skin but left a nasty bruise
Wild animals can be craaazy. I attempted to rescue a baby field mouse from my sadistic cat, who rarely kills small animals, just tortures them for her pleasure. The little sod bit me. Twice! First it was just a nip, second time, the rambuncious rodent sunk it’s teeth into a finger, and was hanging on for dear life. I take blood thinning meds, so it wasn’t a pretty sight. I finally managed to get way out of the cat’s reach and waited patiently for said rodent to release it’s vice-like grip
No luck catching those swans then?
Just the one swan actually
Ahh Swans, beautiful birds.. just right nasty bastards!.. funnily enough there's a pair of swans near me with some of there young and EVERY time I ride past (with them on the bank) the male sticks his stupidly long neck out and goes to peck me o.0.. I might just confront the fucker next time and ask what's his beef 😂
Like most things in the animal kingdom, they usually start with a bluff, and if you stand your ground they will often stop short. However, if you don't then move they will often escalate. This happened to me when I was a small boy, out with my father. The swan charged us, we stood still, and it stopped just out of range. It hissed at us a bit more, and when we didn't move it came at us properly, so we ran away.
So if I get cornered I'll raise my arms, shout and charge it like you are supposed to do with a moose!
Most swans are safe enough. One sub-species however have a venomous bite, often lethal.
Back in my country a swam drowned a man. He was swimming to save a pregnant woman and the swan hit him and he drowned. I don’t mess with swans anymore.
I once fed beefburgers to swans
Anyone that grew up in Lincoln will know that the Swans on the Bradford are bastards. Fucking things.
I don't have the photo to hand but I have once held a swan. It was captured by a licensed swan wrangler and had its wings tied together, then she said "hold this" and went back for its mate. I don't believe they can break your arm. A good kick in the chest will sort them out if they get narky.
I got bitten on the thumb by a swan when I was younger. I seem to recall it hurt quite a lot and the swan seemed suitably satisfied by my distress and left me alone after that.
The problem I see is daft folk feeding them. They decide that all folk should feed them, and they pester you and can be quite aggressive. Ffs they are wild, leave them alone, they are not toys. Living on the coast and in a touristy area, they were never any prob until folk started feeding them
Next time flap your arms dramatically so it thinks you are the Alpha Swan.
You really thought a wild animal wanted to show you her babies? That's not how survival works in the wild.
Got bitten by a goose once on the end of my finger, it hurt and my finger was numb for a week. Evil murder birds
Not swan, but I was once goosed by a goose.
I have given this some thought and have a solution. Swans have quite the reputation for being able to break a man's arm with its wings. However, if a man has broken arms already then the swans prime attack is useless, therefore I suggest you break both arms before entering into a conflict with one. Simple
I got pecked in the belly as a kid. Left a bit of a red mark but no actual damage.
Twice: Was canoeing once and was attacked. All feathers and noise. No damage. But I did have a paddle to defend myself with. Was pushing my first child past the local pond in his pushchair. Swan attacked and pecked at him, I turned the pushchair around and put me between the swan and my son and got pecked in the nads for my trouble (it was quite a punch). The swan then chased us down the high street past Pizza Express. In the end, the council had to capture and rehome the swan, as it was simply attacking everyone.
Not sure how something with hollow bones is going to break my arm tbh. I'm almost certain I could take on a Swan no problem.
Check out Rambo over here, says he can easy knock a swan out!
Humour is so lost on reddit
You’re right. Swans breaking your arm is bollocks that brits tell their kids to make them cautious, that gets repeated as if its gospel. It’s like south koreans with Fan Death. An adult swan is 15-30kg and a couple feet tall folks, with hollow bones optimised for flight. And even If it sprang into the air to attack you, it would then have no solid surface to generate force against. Yes its breast muscles are strong for its size, but If one attacked you its hollow bones would break before yours did. On the rare occasions that people have been ‘hurt by swans’, the human just got flustered by the flapping and fell on their arse or elbow. Then they’re embarrassed and lie about it
I wonder if a Swan would ever dive bomb a person. My pigeon dive bombs 'strangers' in his territory and its pretty intimidating even though he's quite small. Pigeons are very skilled flyers, also with strong breast muscles so can do vertical take offs.
My dad once told me that I don't respect the Royal Family. I told him to shut up and let me finish my swan sandwich. (yes, it was just the one swan, actually).
Still a pretty big sandwich.
One thing that confuses me about this "all unringed swans belong to the monarch" (I nearly wrote queen then 😁) is that apparently all unringed swans belong to the monarch, how do you get to ring one if the unringed swan belongs to the monarch?
Swan-upping.
Swan downing, Swan all arounding. 👍
I was bitten on the thumb by one when I was a child…
Swans are basically arseholes. We have shitloads where I live, there a breeding sanctuary not far and a few reserves.dont be fooled by the sweet beak and elegance. These thugs are basically roadboys with feathers. - seriously though, beautiful birds but but basically a goose with a worse attitude. To answer your question - if there are no railings just walk on by, ignore and go feed some pigeons. Their beak doesn't hurt per-say but the aggression does because they basically want to eliminate you.
A swan can break your arm you know \* refuses to elaborate further *
"All sound and fury, signifying nothing" -- Macbeth after being attacked by a swan (probably idk)
Yes I managed to get on a bus as it flapped at me then I cried
Are you ok now? Did you get counselling, seriously, things like that which people laugh at can be a life long traumatic event!
Swans will Break. A. Man's. Arm. Jesus Christ. It's like none of you are truly British. Also - New Forest ponies will bite your face off. (They like the sweet cheek meat.)
Pretty sure I could fuck a pony if it went for me!
You might want to rephrase that... or not mood depending
They can break your arm.
Break a man's arm they will
I saw a swan just causally murder a duckling that got too close to it by mistake.
Why would a swan want to show a human her cygnets? Crazy assumption
Other animals do it, especially ones that are around humans that feed them. Im guessing you are not allowed around animals?
I work with animals for a living. You're talking about domesticated pets and livestock. Swans are wild animals.