I think the gifts are a thank you for costs paid by the wedding party. Tuxedos rentals and dresses purchased. My son was just in a wedding and received a gift from the groom. He was pleasantly surprised.
I mean… usually I see people give gifts at bachelor/bachelorette parties to their respective parties… but past some mints at the reception, there’s never been gifts to anyone other than the bride and groom on the wedding day.
As a straight white cis GenX man, who has all the wedding etiquette knowledge in 2024, I'd say you're fine not giving out favors.
The people who care about you will understand it's outside your budget. They don't care about favors, they care about you.
People who would complain about it aren't particularly worth your time anyway (think about how lame their lives must be to obsess over something they'd undoubtedly throw in the trash the minute they got home).
Nobody fawns over wedding favors unless you're the one person obsessed with weddings as a concept. Nobody is sitting there in a decade going through piles of favors they've collected over a decade reminiscing over the dozens of weddings.
Odds are, if they had it (stuffed in a dusty box in a cupboard in the garage), the conversation goes like this:
"Hon, I just found the wedding favor from Fred and Diane's wedding."
"Who?"
"Fred and Diane. You remember them. We met them at pilates and were friends with them for 3 or 4 months in 2010. Then we kind of drifted apart"
"No idea who you're talking about. Is the chocolate still good? "
"It's 14 years old.... ... ... No, it's not good"
"Then throw it out. And please add chocolate to the grocery list."
there was a couple I knew who gave out the cutest peapod salt and pepper shakers for their wedding. I wasn't there but my bf who was gave them to me cuz he never would use them.
still, I would never expect anything from the people getting married. like at all. that seems so entitled. and if a person coming to your wedding feels soooo obligated, like they have no choice and they need some kind of f*n reward to be there??? then mebbe they not really care about you and your love. folx who are coming should want to be there to celebrate your union. full stop. regardless of gifts going any which way.
my girl is getting married in september and she has actually refused any financial help from me whatsoever. super low budget tiny wedding with all the closest people to them in their lives(life). I'm going to give it anyway because I love her and her fiance. full stop.
should never feel entitled to anything, but people should want to be there. and you should want to have them there!
Haha I did a candy bar with bags with stickers with our names on it. My grandma told me months later that she saved the candy. I told her to save the bag if she must, but eat the candy. Candy is meant to be eaten.
We had some custom little box things with a See's chocolate or two (I don't remember how many -- it's been 25 years in August)
Hopefully none have ended up festering in someone's closet, though I wouldn't doubt it.
Wedding favours are overrated. I’ve never received a single one that I wanted to keep. Save your money.
Your guests are receiving a meal and a party- what more do they need?
Do you mean wedding favours? Because my family never did thank-you gifts. The most was the bride buying the jewellery the bridesmaids wore and letting them keep it afterwards, and buying the corsages for the bride and groom's parents.
My nephew and his bride (she did all the work) made name places with shells and a Cricut machine. That was all the favour we got. I don't think it is as important as it has been in the past.
Personally, I think a thank you card and a photo is a lovely touch that doesn't seem to happen anymore.
Well, they are an expected part of wedding culture at this point, and I do know that most people expect something as a souvenir of the event. Like goodie bags at a kid's party. I've never actually been to a wedding that didn't have *something* for the guests to take home with them. I have to say that I'd think it was rather cheap of the bride and groom if they didn't even have a little organza bag of chocolates at each seat. But of course, it's your wedding, it's up to you.
My niece and nephew had a table with assorted candies and small gift bags. Guests could make their own bags of whatever kinds of candy (Laffy Taffy, Tootie Rolls, etc) and take them home. Everyone really liked that idea, and it could be done pretty inexpensively.
I’m sure I probably gave out wedding favors 30 years ago, but I don’t remember what they are and I’m sure nobody else does. NTA. Congratulations! I hope you enjoy the day and remember that something will always go wrong so don’t dwell on it. Years later, people still were telling me that they never saw a bride joy her own wedding more. It’s about celebrating marrying the person you are in love with! On a sidenote, most people don’t even remember when your anniversary is other than when you tell them. Our friends only know our anniversary because every decade we go to Vegas and have an Elvis renew our vows… October is 30 years so, all our friends know that this is the party year ;-)
NTA,
I'll start by saying I'm older, so I've been to a lot of weddings.
I've never once noticed or commented on a wedding that did not offer favors.
We just attended one a month ago, they gave out little bags of candy and a cute personal candle, your post just reminded me I accidentally left them in the car.
While leaving I noticed they still had so many left.
If you're needing to cut your budget, not doing wedding favors is a good idea
Are you talking about wedding favours being left on the tables at your reception? If you don't want to go all out and money is an issue, you could get little cellophane favour bags and then go to your nearest CostCo or supermarket and make up individual bags of sweets (buy a selection of Haribo and M&M's), make up these bags yourself and alternate these based on where people are sitting.
Not every favour has to be an expensive one. You also don't have to do anything if you don't want to. You could get stickers and print them out and pop them on the place cards you could say that in lieu of a favour, a donation has been made to X Soup Kitchen or Y Primary School Arts fund or whatever charity you want in their name. Then make a small donation to that charity if you can.
I agree with you. Traditionally we were getting pastel coloured candy coated almonds wrapped with tulle with a ribbon, but your idea with putting them in a bag is better. I think it’s an Italian tradition, but transferred over to French Canadians.
What is a thank you gift? You write thank you notes for any gifts you received but you don't need to purchase actual gifts for anyone who just comes to the wedding. You do need to buy the wedding party thank you gifts but that's all. Congratulations on the wedding!!
NTA.
My favorite wedding favors have always been something that one could practically use (food or plant seeds being the top of the list). With that said, I’ve never gone to a wedding without them and thought, “how stingy” because I know weddings are expensive and maybe foregoing them meant the couple could do something that was more important for them. Additionally, I’ve never loved when it’s a trinket of some sort because then I feel obligated to keep it, even if I don’t want to. All that to say, don’t stress about it! If someone is petty enough to tell you how offended they are, I would wonder how vital they are to your lives moving forward.
My niece gave out gifts with their invitations. I sent some money for a gift. Then they sent gifts for thank yous.
I asked my brother if I needed to send a gift to thank them for the wedding gift and how long we'll be gifting back and forth. He wasn't amused, so I let it go.
I agree with others..ok to not do favors and ok to do a small bag of candy if you really want to. We got a pen from the last wedding with the couples names and we did use it for a while, but honestly we wouldn't have noticed if we didn't get anything.
Please do write Thank You notes. I know it's a custom that's slowly going away but people do make an effort to attend a wedding and get gifts for you, so it is a nice thing to write thank you cards for major events like weddings.
Side note..it sounds like you may just be stressed by wedding planning but overall it sounds like the wedding has become a negative thing for you. Or maybe it is just the sense I am getting based on your comments about going into debt for the wedding, and the tone you used about guests complaining about their finances. Life keeps going for everyone whether you are getting married or not. People will struggle to find money to pay for transportation, clothes, gifts, etc. Could they avoid complaining to you? Sure, yes. That would be ideal. But their financial hardship doesn't disappear just because they aren't paying for the wedding.
NTA. Nobody cares...At least I never do lol. Most people don't want customized stuff with other people's names on it anyway. I got married in 2015...I was running out of ideas on what to do so I just sat out a MASSIVE basket of Hershey kisses. A good chunk of them went - people who wanted chocolate got it!
Thank you gifts? Not a thing where I'm from. I did write personalized thank you cards to each of the people who helped with my second wedding (his aunt and his mom made the cake, my mom did everything else for the backyard wedding (got my flowers, set up the preacher) since I was stationed overseas at the time). Personally, unless they are going above and beyond (making all the decorations, planning most of the events) then a personalized thank you to the ones who actually helped is all that is required.
Just wanted to add, since you meant wedding favors instead of gifts, I can tell you that at my first wedding and at all my sisters and brothers weddings there were none given. My husbands one sister had little organza bags of rice for the guests to shower them with when they exited the church. I don't know about his other one because we didn't know each other at the time. Over my nearly 70 years, I've noticed that it seems to be a thing more for Catholics and Baptists. None of the ones I attended that was Presbyterian or Lutheran had them. One of the two non-denominational ones I attended, small, intimate weddings of no more than 20 people, had handmade, wooden Christmas ornaments that the groom had made specifically for each of us that had something to do with our shared time (college friends). The other one didn't do favors.
I see you meant wedding favors. I handmade ours to save money and no one took them except my bridal party and the groom party I would’ve had to force people to take them home.
90% of the weddings I've attended in the last 10 years have had homemade jam as the wedding favors.
One had bags for cookies and leftovers from their dessert bar.
One had plants, which were the centerpieces.
Do you mean like favours?
We did charity pins and a pack of love hearts as our favours. Was cheap cute and the money went towards British heart foundation which is how my husband lost his mum.
Other thank you things we bought our bridesmaid dresses and I gave them each a bracelet with their initials on for the day but it wasn’t necessary. My husband gave groomsment cufflinks again not necessary!
We also gave my mum flowers and put flowers on my husbands mums grave.
None of the above were necessary or expected. If you have a budget stick to it! Thank people in your speech, write thank you cards after the wedding for your gifts.
Stick to your budget that’s the best advice I have for you!
NTA. After planning our wedding, and attending a few others in between, we found there wasn’t really a need for favors for the guests. I can’t tell you how many stemless wine glasses, heart-shaped bottle openers, or glass coasters we’ve thrown away from weddings. Not that we haven’t appreciated the effort the couples have gone through, but… we can only house so many mismatched items in our kitchen 😂 if it’s a matter of budget, I think the great memories your guests make at your special day are worth more than any trinket.
As far as I'm concerned a wedding favor can be a tiny chocolate at each place setting, or a sticker that says, "Thanks". Done! You don't even have to do that tbh. Wedding favors aren't done formally as much anymore. Soooo NTA. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials!
My husband and I didn't do wedding favours, but I stole an idea from my best mate when he got married instead. They had written on the underside of each place setting card a memory either one of them had or they both had with that guest. It was such a lovely touch I had to do my own variation.
We had a beach style to our wedding, and I picked up these small corked bottles, and I printed out all the memories and rolled them up like a message in a bottle. Everyone loved it, and out of 120 guests, I only got 1 wrong! 😆
My cousin’s son married last year. They had a small wedding in her hometown, so it was a flight for us (me, daughter and grands). They had a small bag with crayons and coloring pages and some other small toys for the kids. It was terrific, kept the kids occupied and wasn’t expensive. But I was happy to not have anything else to squeeze into a suitcase to bring back.
I wish you happiness , love , and a friendship between you too that never dies. I wouldn't expect or want anything from you two except for a long and joyful life.
Thank you cards can be meaningful if written from the heart. My wedding party favors was hand beaded necklaces to the girls that they wore for the wedding. And a gift doesnt always mean it costs a bunch of money. It could be handmade with love. Something thoughtful.
But if not giving gifts than write a beautiful letter on what they mean to you. A thank you of some kind should always happen. And not a card that you write something generic and sign.
NTA. It ain’t in your budget. You are not obligated to give them anything. I think that thank you cards with a pic (if possible) afterwards are far more thoughtful as a wedding favor in that it isn’t more consumerism and is something I’d happily have in my photo book (gods, I’m old).
Give them a slice of your cake.
I see all these amazing cakes, everyone watches the bride and groom cut it.
Then .... nothing
Nobody seems to eat the cake that everyone had a say in.
Cut the cake, wrap it, if necessary (totally not) put a sticker on it with a crappy poem about thank you for coming blah blah blah.
Please don't bother with favors or thank you gifts. I work in catering and the majority of the time they get thrown out because guests don't want to take them home. Save your money
Thank you gifts? Like, favors? I don't personally think that's necessary. You could add a personal note of thanks in the program if you're doing one for people's time. In this economy, it's understandable if people can't give you money towards your wedding. They certainly aren't obligated to do so. But if there are people helping through giving their time or muscle, it would be nice if you acknowledged it instead of focusing only on no one giving you money.
Wedding favors don't get taken home or they get thrown away a lot of the time, so I wouldn't be too worried about it. Everyone knows how expensive weddings are these days, and aren't going to be butt hurt about missing out on some chocolate or succulents.
Something I saw recently done at a small wedding instead of more traditional favors, is at each person's setting they included a picture of that person with either the bride or groom or both. And on the back of the picture they also included a little written message of what that person means to them and the impact they have had on their life, and thanking them for celebrating their special day with them. Some of the people teared up because it was such an unexpectedly sweet and meaningful gesture. Not sure you would have time for getting pictures with each of your guests if you don't have them already, because of you wedding coming so soon and depending on how many people you have coming. But maybe even just doing a sweet hand written message to each of your guests from the both of you on nice stationary would be a nice and meaningful guesture that wouldn't cost much.
TIL people expect thank you gifts for attending a wedding.
The last one I went to, the favors were just like… a candy bar with dollar store candy that you could scoop into a tiny bag. I was always under the assumption the cake was like, the favor.
I think it’s tacky not to give favours. Even a small seed package to thank them for ‚helping your love grow’ or forget me nots so they ‚remember’ the night or something. It’s a small think that doesn’t have to be as fancy as a full succulent or bottle of olive oil or something. But something small to thank them for coming to share your day is appreciated.
The weddings I’ve been to after 2001 gave everyone a tiny bottle of bubbles. They were to blow when the couple left for their honeymoon and any left over they could keep. They are very cheap when bought in bulk from sites like oriental trading or hobby lobby. You could buy a big pack of charms and a bundle of paracord or string in one of your wedding colors and put the charm on the string and tie it around the bags of birdseed or whatever if you’re doing the running to the car tradition. Cute little keepsake. Very cheap.
I went to a wedding that had goodie bags for all the guests. They had little favors like candle holders and bottle openers, and coasters. Things like that, and it was really sweet, and I remember the wedding fondly when I see those little things around the house. But, they budgeted for that and it's something they wanted to have at their wedding.
My fiance and I are having an open bar and we are thinking about providing glassware for them to take home after the wedding. It's a cute little keepsake to take home if it's something that means a lot to you.
People will be making memories and taking tons of pictures, I think they'll be ok without "thank you" gifts. ❤️
I think it s fine to not do it
However, if you change your mind, I have cheap option that we did for our guests. We bought a couple bags of mixed chocolate and I found cheap CUTE mesh bags to put a few pieces in then put a lil tag on them saying thanks for coming.
NTA
We had a candy bar where guests could grab some candy to go, or not, it's up to them. But nearly every wedding I've been to has had wedding favors. Honestly, the stuff people give out is all cheesy and useless (I can only use 1 drink koozie at a time). Don't feel bad about not providing something silly.
Honestly it’s a silly tradition. We used to keep them when I was young but now I literally throw it straight in the bin as it’s just clutter. Save your money!
NTA. I've never heard of a thank you gift at a wedding. You send thank you cards after the wedding to thank people for attending and for their gift. However, I haven't even got a thank you card from the last couple weddings I've attended.
Who would be receiving these gifts?
Nta never heard of thankyou gifts but if you are paying for your wedding and doing it all yourself you have no need to thank anyone anyway.
I think the gifts are a thank you for costs paid by the wedding party. Tuxedos rentals and dresses purchased. My son was just in a wedding and received a gift from the groom. He was pleasantly surprised.
Oh. We never called those thank you gifts. Not sure we even had a catch all term for them.
I’m not sure that’s the right term either. I’m probably assuming what OP meant about thank you gifts.
I mean… usually I see people give gifts at bachelor/bachelorette parties to their respective parties… but past some mints at the reception, there’s never been gifts to anyone other than the bride and groom on the wedding day.
They are getting food and drinks for free That's the thank you ❤️
Growing up, they were called favours.
I've never heard of that, either.
As a straight white cis GenX man, who has all the wedding etiquette knowledge in 2024, I'd say you're fine not giving out favors. The people who care about you will understand it's outside your budget. They don't care about favors, they care about you. People who would complain about it aren't particularly worth your time anyway (think about how lame their lives must be to obsess over something they'd undoubtedly throw in the trash the minute they got home). Nobody fawns over wedding favors unless you're the one person obsessed with weddings as a concept. Nobody is sitting there in a decade going through piles of favors they've collected over a decade reminiscing over the dozens of weddings. Odds are, if they had it (stuffed in a dusty box in a cupboard in the garage), the conversation goes like this: "Hon, I just found the wedding favor from Fred and Diane's wedding." "Who?" "Fred and Diane. You remember them. We met them at pilates and were friends with them for 3 or 4 months in 2010. Then we kind of drifted apart" "No idea who you're talking about. Is the chocolate still good? " "It's 14 years old.... ... ... No, it's not good" "Then throw it out. And please add chocolate to the grocery list."
there was a couple I knew who gave out the cutest peapod salt and pepper shakers for their wedding. I wasn't there but my bf who was gave them to me cuz he never would use them. still, I would never expect anything from the people getting married. like at all. that seems so entitled. and if a person coming to your wedding feels soooo obligated, like they have no choice and they need some kind of f*n reward to be there??? then mebbe they not really care about you and your love. folx who are coming should want to be there to celebrate your union. full stop. regardless of gifts going any which way. my girl is getting married in september and she has actually refused any financial help from me whatsoever. super low budget tiny wedding with all the closest people to them in their lives(life). I'm going to give it anyway because I love her and her fiance. full stop. should never feel entitled to anything, but people should want to be there. and you should want to have them there!
Haha I did a candy bar with bags with stickers with our names on it. My grandma told me months later that she saved the candy. I told her to save the bag if she must, but eat the candy. Candy is meant to be eaten.
We had some custom little box things with a See's chocolate or two (I don't remember how many -- it's been 25 years in August) Hopefully none have ended up festering in someone's closet, though I wouldn't doubt it.
Wedding favours are overrated. I’ve never received a single one that I wanted to keep. Save your money. Your guests are receiving a meal and a party- what more do they need?
My cousin got married last week. Instead of wedding favours a card was left as each seat, a donation was made to "charity name" in your honour.
Do you mean wedding favours? Because my family never did thank-you gifts. The most was the bride buying the jewellery the bridesmaids wore and letting them keep it afterwards, and buying the corsages for the bride and groom's parents.
Yes I mean wedding favours.
My nephew and his bride (she did all the work) made name places with shells and a Cricut machine. That was all the favour we got. I don't think it is as important as it has been in the past. Personally, I think a thank you card and a photo is a lovely touch that doesn't seem to happen anymore.
That sounds lovely to me!
Well, they are an expected part of wedding culture at this point, and I do know that most people expect something as a souvenir of the event. Like goodie bags at a kid's party. I've never actually been to a wedding that didn't have *something* for the guests to take home with them. I have to say that I'd think it was rather cheap of the bride and groom if they didn't even have a little organza bag of chocolates at each seat. But of course, it's your wedding, it's up to you.
My niece and nephew had a table with assorted candies and small gift bags. Guests could make their own bags of whatever kinds of candy (Laffy Taffy, Tootie Rolls, etc) and take them home. Everyone really liked that idea, and it could be done pretty inexpensively.
That's a great idea!
Great idea!
I’m sure I probably gave out wedding favors 30 years ago, but I don’t remember what they are and I’m sure nobody else does. NTA. Congratulations! I hope you enjoy the day and remember that something will always go wrong so don’t dwell on it. Years later, people still were telling me that they never saw a bride joy her own wedding more. It’s about celebrating marrying the person you are in love with! On a sidenote, most people don’t even remember when your anniversary is other than when you tell them. Our friends only know our anniversary because every decade we go to Vegas and have an Elvis renew our vows… October is 30 years so, all our friends know that this is the party year ;-)
Are you talking about the gifts that are usually given to bridesmaids and maids of honor and the best man?
No I've already gotten my bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts, just the wedding favours for all guests attending the wedding.
Ok. I understand now. NAH for not wanting to do wedding favors. I never expect them at a weddings.
NTA, I'll start by saying I'm older, so I've been to a lot of weddings. I've never once noticed or commented on a wedding that did not offer favors. We just attended one a month ago, they gave out little bags of candy and a cute personal candle, your post just reminded me I accidentally left them in the car. While leaving I noticed they still had so many left. If you're needing to cut your budget, not doing wedding favors is a good idea
Are you talking about wedding favours being left on the tables at your reception? If you don't want to go all out and money is an issue, you could get little cellophane favour bags and then go to your nearest CostCo or supermarket and make up individual bags of sweets (buy a selection of Haribo and M&M's), make up these bags yourself and alternate these based on where people are sitting. Not every favour has to be an expensive one. You also don't have to do anything if you don't want to. You could get stickers and print them out and pop them on the place cards you could say that in lieu of a favour, a donation has been made to X Soup Kitchen or Y Primary School Arts fund or whatever charity you want in their name. Then make a small donation to that charity if you can.
I agree with you. Traditionally we were getting pastel coloured candy coated almonds wrapped with tulle with a ribbon, but your idea with putting them in a bag is better. I think it’s an Italian tradition, but transferred over to French Canadians.
NTA but it will probably be commented on. There's some cute diy ones that don't cost much if you do decide to do it. I'm making seed bombs for mine
We had a LEGO reception and made LEGO heart Keychains as our favors. People still love them and talk about them almost a decade later.
What is a thank you gift? You write thank you notes for any gifts you received but you don't need to purchase actual gifts for anyone who just comes to the wedding. You do need to buy the wedding party thank you gifts but that's all. Congratulations on the wedding!!
The OP meant wedding favours.
Don't even worry about that. Stay within your means and enjoy your day. NTA.
NTA. My favorite wedding favors have always been something that one could practically use (food or plant seeds being the top of the list). With that said, I’ve never gone to a wedding without them and thought, “how stingy” because I know weddings are expensive and maybe foregoing them meant the couple could do something that was more important for them. Additionally, I’ve never loved when it’s a trinket of some sort because then I feel obligated to keep it, even if I don’t want to. All that to say, don’t stress about it! If someone is petty enough to tell you how offended they are, I would wonder how vital they are to your lives moving forward.
That would be nice- forget me not seeds or butterfly/bee flowers. Something that is useful. How many shot glasses do you need?!?!
My niece gave out gifts with their invitations. I sent some money for a gift. Then they sent gifts for thank yous. I asked my brother if I needed to send a gift to thank them for the wedding gift and how long we'll be gifting back and forth. He wasn't amused, so I let it go.
I’m not doing favors at my wedding. Their gift is that they got invited lol.
I agree with others..ok to not do favors and ok to do a small bag of candy if you really want to. We got a pen from the last wedding with the couples names and we did use it for a while, but honestly we wouldn't have noticed if we didn't get anything. Please do write Thank You notes. I know it's a custom that's slowly going away but people do make an effort to attend a wedding and get gifts for you, so it is a nice thing to write thank you cards for major events like weddings. Side note..it sounds like you may just be stressed by wedding planning but overall it sounds like the wedding has become a negative thing for you. Or maybe it is just the sense I am getting based on your comments about going into debt for the wedding, and the tone you used about guests complaining about their finances. Life keeps going for everyone whether you are getting married or not. People will struggle to find money to pay for transportation, clothes, gifts, etc. Could they avoid complaining to you? Sure, yes. That would be ideal. But their financial hardship doesn't disappear just because they aren't paying for the wedding.
NTA. Nobody cares...At least I never do lol. Most people don't want customized stuff with other people's names on it anyway. I got married in 2015...I was running out of ideas on what to do so I just sat out a MASSIVE basket of Hershey kisses. A good chunk of them went - people who wanted chocolate got it!
NTA. Just thank them in your speech. I've never heard of thank you gifts at a wedding.
Thank you gifts? Not a thing where I'm from. I did write personalized thank you cards to each of the people who helped with my second wedding (his aunt and his mom made the cake, my mom did everything else for the backyard wedding (got my flowers, set up the preacher) since I was stationed overseas at the time). Personally, unless they are going above and beyond (making all the decorations, planning most of the events) then a personalized thank you to the ones who actually helped is all that is required. Just wanted to add, since you meant wedding favors instead of gifts, I can tell you that at my first wedding and at all my sisters and brothers weddings there were none given. My husbands one sister had little organza bags of rice for the guests to shower them with when they exited the church. I don't know about his other one because we didn't know each other at the time. Over my nearly 70 years, I've noticed that it seems to be a thing more for Catholics and Baptists. None of the ones I attended that was Presbyterian or Lutheran had them. One of the two non-denominational ones I attended, small, intimate weddings of no more than 20 people, had handmade, wooden Christmas ornaments that the groom had made specifically for each of us that had something to do with our shared time (college friends). The other one didn't do favors.
I see you meant wedding favors. I handmade ours to save money and no one took them except my bridal party and the groom party I would’ve had to force people to take them home.
90% of the weddings I've attended in the last 10 years have had homemade jam as the wedding favors. One had bags for cookies and leftovers from their dessert bar. One had plants, which were the centerpieces.
Do you mean like favours? We did charity pins and a pack of love hearts as our favours. Was cheap cute and the money went towards British heart foundation which is how my husband lost his mum. Other thank you things we bought our bridesmaid dresses and I gave them each a bracelet with their initials on for the day but it wasn’t necessary. My husband gave groomsment cufflinks again not necessary! We also gave my mum flowers and put flowers on my husbands mums grave. None of the above were necessary or expected. If you have a budget stick to it! Thank people in your speech, write thank you cards after the wedding for your gifts. Stick to your budget that’s the best advice I have for you!
NTA. After planning our wedding, and attending a few others in between, we found there wasn’t really a need for favors for the guests. I can’t tell you how many stemless wine glasses, heart-shaped bottle openers, or glass coasters we’ve thrown away from weddings. Not that we haven’t appreciated the effort the couples have gone through, but… we can only house so many mismatched items in our kitchen 😂 if it’s a matter of budget, I think the great memories your guests make at your special day are worth more than any trinket.
Instead of wedding favors I gave away the table arrangements. I made them myself, so the cost was low.
As far as I'm concerned a wedding favor can be a tiny chocolate at each place setting, or a sticker that says, "Thanks". Done! You don't even have to do that tbh. Wedding favors aren't done formally as much anymore. Soooo NTA. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials!
My husband and I didn't do wedding favours, but I stole an idea from my best mate when he got married instead. They had written on the underside of each place setting card a memory either one of them had or they both had with that guest. It was such a lovely touch I had to do my own variation. We had a beach style to our wedding, and I picked up these small corked bottles, and I printed out all the memories and rolled them up like a message in a bottle. Everyone loved it, and out of 120 guests, I only got 1 wrong! 😆
NTA but you can diy little succulents or cookies if budget is the issue. We did the succulents!
My cousin’s son married last year. They had a small wedding in her hometown, so it was a flight for us (me, daughter and grands). They had a small bag with crayons and coloring pages and some other small toys for the kids. It was terrific, kept the kids occupied and wasn’t expensive. But I was happy to not have anything else to squeeze into a suitcase to bring back.
I gave everyone bells they rang when my husband and I exited the church. The church bells also rang.
I wish you happiness , love , and a friendship between you too that never dies. I wouldn't expect or want anything from you two except for a long and joyful life.
Thank you cards can be meaningful if written from the heart. My wedding party favors was hand beaded necklaces to the girls that they wore for the wedding. And a gift doesnt always mean it costs a bunch of money. It could be handmade with love. Something thoughtful. But if not giving gifts than write a beautiful letter on what they mean to you. A thank you of some kind should always happen. And not a card that you write something generic and sign.
NTA - stop the pointless favors and gifts for the guests at weddings and showers!
NTA. It ain’t in your budget. You are not obligated to give them anything. I think that thank you cards with a pic (if possible) afterwards are far more thoughtful as a wedding favor in that it isn’t more consumerism and is something I’d happily have in my photo book (gods, I’m old).
We didn’t have thank you gifts and people didn’t even notice/care. Got married in 2011 and not once has anyone brought it up.
We didn’t have thank you gifts and people didn’t even notice/care. Got married in 2011 and not once has anyone brought it up.
Give them a slice of your cake. I see all these amazing cakes, everyone watches the bride and groom cut it. Then .... nothing Nobody seems to eat the cake that everyone had a say in. Cut the cake, wrap it, if necessary (totally not) put a sticker on it with a crappy poem about thank you for coming blah blah blah.
Please don't bother with favors or thank you gifts. I work in catering and the majority of the time they get thrown out because guests don't want to take them home. Save your money
NTA! You don't have to give people thank you gifts!
I just did Thank You Cards for everyone who gave us a gift when me and my husband got married. NTA and Congratulations!
You can do something simple. I did Jordan Almonds wrapped in tulle tied with a ribbon.
Thank you gifts? Like, favors? I don't personally think that's necessary. You could add a personal note of thanks in the program if you're doing one for people's time. In this economy, it's understandable if people can't give you money towards your wedding. They certainly aren't obligated to do so. But if there are people helping through giving their time or muscle, it would be nice if you acknowledged it instead of focusing only on no one giving you money.
The last I knew there was thank you cards but I believe e cards are acceptable now. Have never heard of thank you gifts.
Wedding favors don't get taken home or they get thrown away a lot of the time, so I wouldn't be too worried about it. Everyone knows how expensive weddings are these days, and aren't going to be butt hurt about missing out on some chocolate or succulents. Something I saw recently done at a small wedding instead of more traditional favors, is at each person's setting they included a picture of that person with either the bride or groom or both. And on the back of the picture they also included a little written message of what that person means to them and the impact they have had on their life, and thanking them for celebrating their special day with them. Some of the people teared up because it was such an unexpectedly sweet and meaningful gesture. Not sure you would have time for getting pictures with each of your guests if you don't have them already, because of you wedding coming so soon and depending on how many people you have coming. But maybe even just doing a sweet hand written message to each of your guests from the both of you on nice stationary would be a nice and meaningful guesture that wouldn't cost much.
TIL people expect thank you gifts for attending a wedding. The last one I went to, the favors were just like… a candy bar with dollar store candy that you could scoop into a tiny bag. I was always under the assumption the cake was like, the favor.
I think it’s tacky not to give favours. Even a small seed package to thank them for ‚helping your love grow’ or forget me nots so they ‚remember’ the night or something. It’s a small think that doesn’t have to be as fancy as a full succulent or bottle of olive oil or something. But something small to thank them for coming to share your day is appreciated.
Bake cookies and do small packs of them to give away. Any left over donate to local fire departments.
The weddings I’ve been to after 2001 gave everyone a tiny bottle of bubbles. They were to blow when the couple left for their honeymoon and any left over they could keep. They are very cheap when bought in bulk from sites like oriental trading or hobby lobby. You could buy a big pack of charms and a bundle of paracord or string in one of your wedding colors and put the charm on the string and tie it around the bags of birdseed or whatever if you’re doing the running to the car tradition. Cute little keepsake. Very cheap.
I went to a wedding that had goodie bags for all the guests. They had little favors like candle holders and bottle openers, and coasters. Things like that, and it was really sweet, and I remember the wedding fondly when I see those little things around the house. But, they budgeted for that and it's something they wanted to have at their wedding. My fiance and I are having an open bar and we are thinking about providing glassware for them to take home after the wedding. It's a cute little keepsake to take home if it's something that means a lot to you. People will be making memories and taking tons of pictures, I think they'll be ok without "thank you" gifts. ❤️
I think it s fine to not do it However, if you change your mind, I have cheap option that we did for our guests. We bought a couple bags of mixed chocolate and I found cheap CUTE mesh bags to put a few pieces in then put a lil tag on them saying thanks for coming.
NTA We had a candy bar where guests could grab some candy to go, or not, it's up to them. But nearly every wedding I've been to has had wedding favors. Honestly, the stuff people give out is all cheesy and useless (I can only use 1 drink koozie at a time). Don't feel bad about not providing something silly.
I would consider the meal and the drinks provided to the guest is thank you enough :)
Honestly it’s a silly tradition. We used to keep them when I was young but now I literally throw it straight in the bin as it’s just clutter. Save your money!
Nta no gift needed
Save your money! Everyone tosses them out anyway….
Wedding favors get tossed almost immediately. Don’t do them unless it’s flowers or edible treats, waste of money.
There isn't any such thing really. Don't feel bad about not doing it.
What in the hell is a thank you gift at a wedding? Also, it’s your wedding, do whatever you want.
NTA. I've never heard of a thank you gift at a wedding. You send thank you cards after the wedding to thank people for attending and for their gift. However, I haven't even got a thank you card from the last couple weddings I've attended. Who would be receiving these gifts?