My heart and head hurts and I want the pain to stop because I am impatient and because of that I feel guilty. I want God to wave his hand and take my pain away. But I know I have to endure this because he wants me to confide in him during this difficult time and he is proving to me so much that I can do this with him. I’m just impatient and it’s one of my biggest sinful flaws sadly
You're allowed to feel hurt, confused, sad, angry. It's natural to feel guilty when we feel like we're too impatient and not trusting God. But Jesus died for every one of your sins, including your impatience. He will bring you through it in his time.
But you also do need human fellowship. Find a good church in your area that preaches the gospel!
Praying for you.
"A bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice." Isaiah 42:3
That's the God we serve.
I'm so sorry most of all that Christianity has made you feel like being who you are is unacceptable to God. I don't agree with this take, I think if God exists that He delights in the variety of people He made and doesn't need another straight person, there seem to be plenty.
Gays are not a "variety of people". A single person is, literaly, a variety of people. And we are not erase in our uniqueness when we change a little (which is what sexual orientation is - a little).
I'm very sorry the terrible homophobia of Western Christian society has created all those segregations which lead to all those essentialist identities.
Exactly. Did we segregate adulterers? No, we admonish them, even try to talk their spouses into forgiveness; the young that have premarital sex, which is idolized in the culture everyone consume, we just ask to stop. Did we segregate dunkards? No, we try to heal them, we have them amongst the most admirable stories of repent. Do we segregate the greedy? We gave power to the greedy. And we don't care about slanderers.
What did we do with homosexual offenders? We gave them the worst pejorative words, we sent them to jail, we made them hide in plain sight. We look angry at them if they talk or gesticulate in ways that remind us of homosexuality, but have nothing to do with sexual offense. We created the conditions for Stonewall and we kept persecuting them and making martyrs of them and we created a monster where young people have to choose between being chaste and hated or sinful and celebrated. Segregation creates identities, and all identities are lies. We should see ourselves as all part of Jesus Christ's family.
The God she believes in is the God of the Bible. So the things you say don’t matter to her. Sin entered the world through one man. All desires are not good and should not always be taken with the “it’s who you are” mindset
Christianity does not support homosexuality, nor does it support hurting somebody for to their homosexuality. To truly follow Christ you must try not to sin, no matter temptations. Homosexuality is a sin according to Christianity. God does not rejoice when he sees humans sin, so he would not rejoice in the fact that someone is homosexual even if that is a diversity. Not to say God is not proud of our diversity, her homosexuality would just be one diversity he would not rejoice over.
You know that there was nothing unholy about your relationship, right? You know that it's fine to be a gay Christian? God values love and mercy, those are the things Christ died for on the cross.
She has her convictions, respect them. She clearly trusts God and this is something he put on her heart. It's ok if Christians have varying beliefs. This is between her and God.
She can do what ever, but to hold out for 8 months instead of talking to her gf is horrible and the former gf is probably feeling shitty the entire time
I can't respect a person who throws away her best friend like she is human garbage.
I can only pity herself. A path based on self hate leads to destruction.
I hope her partner finds a woman who loves her for who she is.
She left the leaving part vauge, "human garbage" might be a stretch for someone she obviously still cares for. Everyone has a unique path filled with their own mistakes and own beliefs. Let the girl be.
It’s really infuriating how non-Christians and “all accepting” Christians come in here. Refusing to admit there are things we must reject. I come in this Reddit and I was really pissed tonight. She’s happy about moving forward yet they’re trying to convince her she was wrong. The audacity!!!
How did you get "happy about moving forward" from the OP? All I got was fear of being alone and that OP isn't worthy of love. Nothing about being happy with her current decision.
Infuriating? I’m infuriated you’re telling her what she prayed for was wrong. Same-sex relationships are not the way. It is not supported and is spoken against in the Bible, not once!!
There is nothing wrong about gay relationships.
IF you think there is you are a person based on hate for your fellow human beings. If you faith claims that gay relationships are wrong, you fait is based on human hatred. Nothing more...nothing less.
There is nothing wrong with an adult human loving another adult human.
"I was really pissed tonight"
I used to feel that way coming into these threads. I took a break from Christian reddit posts and honed in on my own faith before coming back. I say this, hoping you don't think I'm attacking you, but this issue is not about you. It's about her and the other thousands of gay Christians caught in this cultural crossfire. This is one of those times where showing empathy or staying quiet are the 2 best and least destructive options.
Even with me saying I was pissed, I was still respectful. Mostly I was disheartened seeing people tell her what God is putting in her heart is wrong. But I totally understand you. Self control is crucial as a Christian and to a degree I didn’t embody that. Thank you for your correction.
Dear friend,
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Fear God. Follow Him. If God has shown you what is better for you and you are slowly resenting homosexuality, pray to him further. Read your Bible. If you follow the world and their advice, don’t forget only YOU will answer to God.
Love,
A stranger.
1 Corinthians 6:9-20
9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Here's a bit of reading on the translation of that particular passage:
https://www.str.org/w/did-translators-wrongly-interpret-homosexuality-in-1-corinthians-6-9-
In its original languages, the Bible never says, "homosexual" even once. The word only came about within the last 200 years. Sorry you were given a translation infused with hate and ignorance.
Great. But that doesn't address translation issues. There have been multiple translations and by committing to one and neglecting other possibilities, it sounds like you are willfully choosing to hold hate in your heart for people who love differently than you do. Like are you SURE that's what the Bible says? Do you speak the original languages? I don't but I'm open to hearing more nuanced translations. It's easier and lighter to be receptive to loving someone than committing to hating them.
It's wrong to make an assumption that i'd hate anyone having not said that or know me as an individual. If people aren't using scripture to back up what they believe then it's not worth listening to. If we are **truly** Christians then we Go to **Gods word for answers** not man. Be very careful who you listen to.
As a man who has been alone for ten years, all I can say is that there are days when the Lord makes me content and full of joy and days when I am depressed. If you don't want to marry a man and have sex with a man, then I suspect your future will look a lot like mine. It isn't terrible, but every time I look at a loving couple I am reminded what I can't have.
If you feel isolated, try to find a church that welcomes you and has decent grounding. It will warm your heart to see people you can relate to every week and give you a reason to keep going.
I'll pray for you, that the Lord grants you peace with your decision and lifts you up to serving Him.
Luckily I am still attracted to men and would love to find a very Godly and loving man one day, although there seems to be few in my generation unfortunately. But I know I shouldn’t worry about that now and whether God does give me an amazing spouse or if I am meant to be alone then I know I am never truly alone with him and it is what it is. I feel for your situation as it was something I did fear when I was with this girl because I thought I lost my attraction to men but ever since working on my faith God has literally worked magic and made me almost not attracted to women at all anymore and again more attracted to men (which I have prayed for since I was like 17). I feel for you and I know that must be very disheartening sometimes but in the end it’s all worth it and I’m sure God is so incredibly proud of you because he chose you to be one of his strongest. I genuinely think being a homosexual or bisexual or whatever us one of the hardest things because we have to say no to LOVE that disguises it’s self the BEST. It’s so so difficult. But you are stronger than I think I ever could be so that is a gift and a strength you have that other Christians such as myself envy and that God will reward you with later on. 🤍
Thank you for your kind words. If you are attracted to men, then you will have no problem finding one that respects Jesus as much as you do. May God bless you abundantly.
Hi, I am sorry that you're hurting, this break up must be painful. But praise GOD that you made the choice you did to surrender to Him completely!
I'm praying that GOD will comfort you and grant you peace and joy during this tough time, in Jesus name.
Also, there are quite a few godly men I've noticed at my church, so they are out there! Just keep following GOD like you're already doing, and "...seek first His kingdom and God righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well", as Matthew 6:33 states, and if it's His will for you, He will grant you a godly man to be your companion!
Just keep praying and believe! GOD Bless!
My friend, maybe it's not a disguise. I would say this to any lgbt person in the church: What greater love is there than one who would lay down their life for another? If you feel that way about anyone else, even another woman, that's love and there is no guile in that. You can honestly know the intentions of your heart and see sacrificial love.
u/Early-Average1926 , please do not forget there is a vast community of lgbt-affirming Christian communities. Some of the most wonderful people I know are a part of them. God created us (nearly) all with a deep need for "romantic" love and intimacy, it's a wonderful thing. Ask yourself if a loving Father God would want you to be tormented by one of the most beautiful parts of being a human being of his design. He does not take joy in our loneliness or intimacy starving.
Those who claim it's unnatural forget the wide spectrum of sexuality found among all manner of creatures in the natural world...among other things (like properly contextualizing ancient texts and being honest about cherry picking moral relativism).
I think this is a very sweet post and something I wanted to share too. Maybe finding an LGBTQIA+ friendly church community is a good starting place during this time? Maybe it’ll allow you to fully explore all that you are navigating, but most of all listen to God and use Him to guide you where it feels spiritually right.
Every relationship with God is personal and uniquely your own. I don’t know what God has in store for you and where He is leading you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your relationship and I am so sorry for the grief and pain you are both navigating. I definitely send prayers your way, that your pain will heal and your path forward will be clear.
For me and my own personal journey, I have always been an ally and continue to support Christianity and the LGBT communities coming together, it never felt right in my heart for it to be anything other than acceptance and worship together. God has shared this is my heart and it’s the truth I have found in my own spiritual journey and walk with the Lord, I need a Christian community that loves, accepts, and supports LGBT church members.
God has a plan for you and the person you’re supposed to be with. He is leading you toward His plans. I know that journey isn’t always clear and it takes time, but I am so happy that you have a relationship with God and I pray for your healing and peace in this new chapter you have started!
I'm not here to debate with you, but I will just point something out. Like it or not, accept it or not, "Your views are not biblical" is just an opinion. The fact is, there are vast portions of the church, biblical scholars, and entire denominations that would strongly disagree with you. While deep in your own bubble, it can be so easy to dismiss them or think that your people are just smarter than all those other people. Trust me, I spent a lot years doing it myself.
So many people of faith unfortunately have the subtle arrogance to think their own way of reading/interpreting/applying the Bible is the only true or valid one (as if we could ever know for sure in this life). They cling to the things they need to be true on an emotional level, without even consciously recognizing that.
Ooooffff this is tough to hear. I think American conservative culture has dominated our faiths and dictates which sins are weighed more heavily than others.
Jesus said “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of A needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” And yet we see wealth as a virtue. Nobody stands outside of mansions and porsche dealerships holding signs and shouting at the rich people that they are living in sin and need to repent. This is because doing so would be counter to our culture. Yet is is clear as day in the Bible.
God said to Moses “Whatever parts the hoof and is cloven-footed and chews the cud, among the animals, you may eat.” Yet how many people leave Sunday service and get a grand slam with bacon at Denny’s after. Nobody stands in the meat isle holding signs to tell the pork consumers they are living in sin.
We don’t see people protesting straight couples having pre marital sex with nearly the same vigor that they do for gay couples.
My point is that we all live in sin and fall short. Obviously some sins are worse for humanity. this is common sense. A serial killer or war criminal is doing more damage than a guy had sex with his girlfriend before they were married. How do we know that God will judge the millionaire or bacon eater more or less harshly than the homosexual? If you do not live a perfect life then we are not in a position to say that your lifestyle is less clean than mine.
Yep. Agreed. Honestly it's the hypocrisy and bad faith of a lot of this stuff that pushes me, and other people, away from the faith. Homosexuality is hardly mentioned (and not unambiguously) in the bible, and yet it makes up a lot of the posts in this group, and talk generally. While the attitude towards money and the poor is much clearer and spoken about a lot more, and no-one has ever posted "help I might be rich", and it's certainly not ten times a week.
I hope OP finds her way and is happy nonetheless.
Pre martial sex and divorce are still commended. Idk what church you guys all go too, but I’ve never heard a church support that stuff. Your also rich by just living in the USA
What you are doing makes no sense though. If A and B are sins and as you claim more people hate A but less hate B the answer isn’t to tell people it’s okay to do A. The better answer is to condemn A and B instead of watering all down to its lowest threshold.
All sin should be approached with love and gentleness as we are told to. We are also told to give and help others. Resources can provide that ability. Do you think she should’ve stayed the way she was? *genuine question*
You can't pray the gay away. It's not a "sin" that if you focus really hard on you can overcome. Your thoughts and feelings will always be there, and it will never leave your side. You aren't ready to hear the reason why, but honestly your depression will get worse until you get some actual, REAL help. No redditors, no pastors, but actual help.
In the meanwhile, my heart honestly goes out more to your ex partner. I hope she finds someone who accepts her the way she accepted you, and stuck by you when no one else did in the last nine months.
You'll figure it out, though. Who knows how you will feel when you do. Good luck.
I would say the best thing is to not close yourself in… don’t cut yourself off from the world because of the pain you’re in… put yourself out there… easiest thing is get active at church… find a small group, volunteer on Sunday, etc. The small bonds you will be sure to make through just doing that could be that extra strength you need through all this that will ultimately lead to lasting friendships.
The number of people congratulating this person for entering into an isolated spiral of self-loathing is disturbing. Feeling guilty for being lonely is terrible but I guess rejecting the harmless inherent quality of being attracted to the same sex matters more to some people and they're not seeing how sad this post is.
It goes to show that for all the talk certain Christians have of how condemning homosexuality isn't hateful and that it is based on love, what they want is for people to just stop being gay regardless of the mental harm that causes.
This is the fast track:
1. The things I was programmed to love is against God
2. I self-isolated due to this belief
3. I am so alone and I hate who I am. I am spiraling and it’s because I don’t love God enough.
I knew people who took their own life that followed this path. I also knew others who decided to fully embrace and love themselves and are much better for it. They don’t know if it’s sin or not, but they’re alive and able to contribute to God’s kingdom.
It’s extremism, plain and simple. There’s a difference between a theology and expecting people isolate themselves for a specific extreme interpretation of theology. Just because it’s mainstream doesn’t mean it’s not an extremist line of logic which has become prevalent through the faith, and i cannot imagine Christianity writ large will keep up this fundamentalist path over time.
I just wish people would be willing to step back and see that extremism and fundamentalism are synonymous, and that if someone wants to personally live that path it can be acceptable for them but when you start treating that as the faith you end up with a poison of radical thought which accepts callousness and cruelty as a virtue.
It concerns me as well. Deeply. Though a small part of me is suspect that it may be trolling due to the line about depression. It is so cliche and simplistic.
But I took it at face value. I figured full condemnation wouldn't help, so I tried to validate her and make her feel supported, and criticized what she did.
This whole situation sucks.
Fr. As a catholic gay man who married another man (in an Episcopal church), it bothers me to see people take same sex relationships so seriously. I just don’t see how a loving god would deny love between two people. As you say, it’s harmless. Bible was still written by men who are flawed and had their own biases.
I would suggest finding a local church and attending it regularly if able. The people you'll surround yourself with want nothing more than for you to be happy and know your place in this world. You may feel alone and that all your friends have abandoned you but the people that attend church come from all walks of life and are on their own journey to discover their creator. You're not alone on this earth :)
This answer! I celebrate you in the fact that you have given all of who you are to your Savior! But, this is also going to be an extremely trying and vulnerable time. Remember, God allows us to go through times that feel more than we can bear so that we learn to rely on Him. Definitely join a good, Bible-believing, Bible teaching church…not just your weekend pep-talk sermon like so many churches have become. Your local church is the best as you most of the congregants (not all) probably live in your same town.
Keep on praying, rely on Jesus. There is no other way but Him.
Welcome to the sheepfold!!
You have broken strong bonds. That does hurt.
You say you've cut out all of your friends. Do you have any fellow Christians you spend time with? Do you have a Church you call your own? If not, finding one could be a good way to find new connections. Spending time with God is awesome but we are not meant to be hermits. I think it would be very valuable for you to find other Christians to fellowship with.
I feel bad for your partner and worry about your mental state. This isn't healthy. If you want to be single and devote your life to God thats wonderful, but, if you deny your own natural sexuality because you think the Bible said to and you ended a two you deep intimate relationship over it...this is not healthy at all
I'm sorry you felt like you are not allowed to be happy and faithful at the same time. My heart hurts reading this. So many of His children have been told that they're not His if they were made differently, and that they must try to "deny" who they are when others are not made to do the same. I hope you take whatever rest you need and come back to what He has genuinely designed for you, not what others believe you should be.
we are all riddled with sin and who we are isn’t good enough. that’s literally kind of the whole point? christianity has a lot of tough love, not just “i love you pls be happy”. you must die to yourself everyday for God as a true Christian. i have an extremely high sex drive, that’s just who i am, however that ISNT GOOD ENOUGH. i try everyday not to commit fornication with my boyfriend and little by little i am becoming better and better for God. i’m not just going to get mad or sad that i’m naturally not good enough.
"Tough love" implies for the person's own good. But Side B ideology is bad for LGBTQ people. It's empty prejudice whether it comes from people or from God (although people bear moral responsibility for promoting it in any case).
I imagine the commenter also thinks God is loving, but feels that Side B is inconsistent with His loving character.
> But Side B ideology is bad for LGBTQ people.
Bad in an Earthly consequentionalist way, sure, but when you have souls and literal eternal hellfire on the line, all Earthly consequences become irrelevant.
>Earthly consequences become irrelevant
Yes, I agree that if ECT and "gay sex is sin (threatening lost salvation)" are both true then they trump other considerations. I was pointing to one reason many Christians think one or both are false: namely, the anti-gay doctrine backed by fear of hell is very bad for LGBTQ people's Earthly lives, and seems inconsistent with a truly loving God (which is fundamental to many people's Christian beliefs).
sex makes me happy. but do you know what makes me happy? pleasing God. you cant enter a relationship with someone and continuously disrespect their boundaries while claiming you love them and taking advantage of them forgiving you.
This is what so many people don't get. Modern culture tells people to "be themselves". Christianity says don't be yourself because yourself is a product of a fallen world and a fallen human spirit. But people who follow their own truth will never escape themselves.
that’s like… the point of my comment 🙂 i am celibate because i put god above my desires. i think you misunderstood, but that’s all good. thank you for saying that regardless.
>when others are not made to do the same
Lies. We are all called to deny our flesh. The flesh and the spirit are at war. It's one of the most basic tenets of Christianity.
We are called to deny damaging worldly pleasure, but the fruit of isolation is not good.
If it were a good fruit, you would see examples of benefits. E.g. a recovering alcoholic. Yet, that does not seem to be the case despite Christians attempting left-handed therapy for years.
Non-affirming positions are not fruitful.
The Bible talks about different season and some of them are painful and some are joyful and others are boring. The beautiful thing is that God is the same God in all seasons and if you continue to push into Him you will find joy and peace. As for the human element the absolute best advice I can give you is to find a church. First and foremost it needs to be a church with good biblical foundations and then second id try to find one with people near your age. I actually left a church that I was attending and was in a similar place and God blessed that tremendously and I have made Frend’s and even my closest frend I have ever had at my new church.
You are not alone. As long as you have God you will never be alone.
And unfortunately the only place to be, especially for a Christian, where you just don't care and feel no pain is heaven.
Jesus is making alot of changes in your life and that's awesome.
Keep following the Lord. I'm proud of you, and I love you sister in Christ.
Remember, the Lord will never leave thee or forsake you.
Worst thing I have ever read on here. Also sounds like some shit I would do during a manic episode and regret for the next 5 years, I hope you get help OP.
As an atheist: this appears to be very toxic Christianity and i fear its led you to make a terrible mistake.
Best of luck but i dont think religion is going to fix your problems, if anything its harming you.
I'm very sad that you would feel such an awful thing is necessary to live your faith. God's not an asshole.
I hope you are able to get over her, though, and aren't in too much sorrow over your sexuality long-term.
i was under the impression from your last post that you guys both held the same values and religion? seems like you ended a deep intimate relationship with someone who you apparently loved because you think religion/faith and sexuality can’t coexist at the same time. i don’t believe in christianity but i do believe in a different god and it’s all about freedom to love and freedom of expression. i’m pansexual and freely love women, men, and all genders and sexualities. my god makes me feel validated in that and helps me love and feel positively within my sexuality. i only hope that you can find that one day because we as humans should not deny how we feel, who we are, or how we want to present ourselves to the world. i feel for your ex partner who thought she shared something deep with you. she deserves so much better than you & i hope she finds it. mwah!
You sound like you have religious OCD. Also i hope your ex gf finds someone better who doesnt speak of her like that, do you even hear yourself? How cold and cruel you sound?
I used to think like you and be very much obsessed with following god, but eventually i found out he doesnt exist after sacraficing 7 years of my life to serve him and getting nothing in return but hurt . What you are doing is wrong and you are just hurting yourself and the people around you.
I might be stirring up some controversy by discussing this topic, but here's my perspective. First and foremost, I as a cis woman who proudly embraces being a static queer woman on the bi/pansexual spectrum. Additionally, I align myself with progressive liberal, feminist, ethical, and humanist principles, understanding the importance of intersectionality and striving to be an ally to all marginalized groups. I was raised in a Christian household, surrounded by Christian loved ones, yet unlike some, they fully accept queer relationships, marriages, and families, regardless of gender identity or orientation. So, my viewpoints aren't unfounded, and they align with the true essence of Christianity.It's crucial to distinguish between religion itself and its militant interpretations, especially when they infringe upon the rights of marginalized individuals. Hate stemming from such interpretations spreads further hate and violence against these groups. And while I acknowledge there are Christians within disenfranchised communities, that's a separate discussion.I am truly sorry if any conservative Christians in your life have made you feel inadequate or judged for your queerness. It's important to recognize that a person's gender identity and sexual orientation are not choices. Furthermore, one's religious beliefs and acceptance of marginalized groups aren't mutually exclusive. Anyone trying to convince you otherwise is misguided and misinformed.Now, regarding your ended relationship, it's natural to feel heartbroken and lost. However, it's essential to reflect on how you handled the situation. If you feel defensive, it might indicate internalized queerphobia or misguided beliefs about queerness and morality. Mistreating someone based on their gender identity or sexual orientation is unacceptable and requires rectification.Consider seeking mental health resources for your healing journey and making amends with those you've harmed. Surround yourself with accepting individuals and reevaluate your worldview. Disagreement is acceptable, but not when it undermines someone's rights or humanity. As James Baldwin said, "We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist."Lastly, while freedom of speech is vital, it's not without consequences. Hate speech and discrimination have no place in civilized discourse. Let's help to foster a society where diversity is celebrated, and everyone's rights are respected.
Based on strikingly similar experiences with a roommate I met through a college group, OP is manic right now. Speech patterns are the same too. I went and looked and she mentioned being suspected of having bipolar disorder.
This is so sad.
I hope she listens to the sincere advice to speak with a doctor because these situations can have deadly complications SO fast.
These are the fruits of the forces of darkness. This is what happens when Christians begin to hate others. Self-loathing and isolation. They'd rather you be dead than LGBTQ+.
I'm sorry that other Christians have made you feel that you're unworthy of love. That's not true. Even if this relationship is over, you won't be alone forever, I have faith that God will help you find someone that you belong with.
Fellow atheist here but I enjoy reading these posts as I used to be Christian. So sorry yo hear about your loss. Also going through an absolutely horrendous break up as well.
Reading these types of things break my heart. You had a relationship that was happy and you abandoned it just because of religion. This is one of the many many reasons I left Christianity. You lose so much access to your own sexuality and other people because of it. It’s not freeing to be “in Christ” but quite the opposite. It’s a prison. And it’s so sad that Christianity does this to people and their relationships. I’m so so sorry about what you’re going through.
I would ask you to seriously think about if this is still what you truly want. Do you want to be attached to a belief system where you can’t live authentically within your own sexuality? Because I can tell you I tried to do it and in the end I was just miserable and couldn’t take it anymore.
With all due respect, God isn't a magic genie that makes people do things. God does not infringe upon free will. So realistically, decisions made by others are not made by God. That being said, it seems to me you've been listening to the wrong people. It is absolutely acceptable to both gay and Christian. The two are not mutually exclusive, and anyone who tells you such needs to learn 4th century Greek and ancient Hebrew. Every passage in the bible that supposedly condemns homosexuality can be chalked up to either
A. Unapplicable Old Testament law that Christians are no longer required to follow due to the Old Covenant having been erased.
B. Mistranslation (as in the case of Genesis and thereby any later OT passages that rely on Genesis)
C. Not reading the entire passage OR not understanding the context of who Paul was writing to and what historically was going on in that location.
Furthermore, a just and loving God is not going to condemn a person to a life of romantic isolation and celibacy when we were created, by Him, with a very strong need for partnership. That same loving God would not push people to suffer needlessly to the extent where many people in your shoes struggle with mental health issues to the extent of suicide. You didn't choose your attraction, and you were made with an innate need for partnership. Anyone who says it is "a choice" believes the choice is for you to be miserable or to go to hell... a choice that is contrary to the compassion demonstrated through Christ.
That being said, I know I'm going to be downvoted to oblivion for this and likely attacked in the comments by self-righteous fundamentalists, but even IF I am 100% incorrect (which you won't convince me of... I was once on your side), I dare those of you seething while reading this to comment if you are without any sin. If not, worry about yourself and don't lay the burden of celibacy and emotional isolation on someone when you yourself would never bear that burden... even if you believe somehow people choose their attraction.
You think all suffering should be uniform? We are individuals with different views of the world. To say that some will suffer in different ways than others is common sense, no?
No one should be expected to suffer in a particular way that another is not on the sheer basis of having a different identity. The rules do not apply differently. If you were equally innocent or guilty, why should your sister be expected to be punished on the sheer basis of having blue eyes while you have brown?
Why not? If I understand you correctly, you are saying pain and suffering are antithetical to the Christian life on this earth?
Christ warned the 12 that they would need to die horrible deaths if they truly loved him. And that if the 12 didn’t defend him on earth, He wouldn’t defend them in the afterlife.
“Those who seek to save their life shall lose it, but those who seek to lose their life shall gain it”
After fleeing at the crucifixion, the 12 apostles are re-motivated and reinspired at his resurrection and all proudly are martyred some of the most horrible deaths possible because they love Him.
To put it simply, Christ would rather you suffer hell on earth so that you can have eternal life in heaven where love is infinite and pain nonexistent, not even as a memory. Vs following your sinful pleasures on earth and potential damn yourself to eternity in hell, where pain is infinite and eternal.
I'm sorry you're hurting.
Please don't shunt your depression on not being a Christian. While you meant well and it may have helped you, this is an insult to those suffering for depression.
I hope you find a path that is healthy for you. And I hope both you and your Ex are able to find someone who will love you unconditionally.
I feel awful for your ex though. She stood by you. And while you are fully entitled to break up for any reason, she was there for you and you broke it off for religious belief.
It sucks for everyone involved.
Yeah, as someone who has experienced similar scenarios from the girlfriend’s perspective it can create a lot of unwarranted insecurity and self-criticism. I hope she knows better than to blame herself.
I’ve unfortunately learned to equate being in a same-sex relationship (or even just openly gay) with semi-out or affirming Christian girls as a precursor to being thrown under the bus. I know there are totally affirming and healthy queer Christian relationships but it just has never been my experience. What OP’s ex just experienced is a canon event and she’s learning a hard lesson.
Not only will they throw you under the bus.
They will ask for support when they do. They will treat you like human garbage and then ask for sympathy because they are lonely.
It breaks my heart that you feel you had to break up. It hurts knowing that you're hurting. Have you tried speaking with a therapist? Have you tried looking into affirming Christianity?
regardless of your beliefs, she did break up for a reason. she believes in God and she would have been hurting if she continued the relationship, regardless of if it was good or not, because of her beliefs.
the beliefs aren’t the problem. as far as i’m aware from the title you’ve given yourself, you’re not Christian. how do you know she’s not the happiest in her Christian lifestyle?
as someone who previously identified as bisexual and practiced witchcraft, i’m a lot happier and less depressed in my newfound beliefs and relationship with God. i’m happier denying myself of certain aspects of life for a different life that ultimately makes me feel whole.
i genuinely understand the frustration- i’ve been there and at some point in my life i had the same thoughts, that religion caused more harm than good. however, trust me as a christian who’s lived a non christian lifestyle, i’m happier now and if she claims she’s happier and she still has the option of a marriage (as she’s said, she’s still attracted to men), what’s really the issue?
I'm glad you're happier, but I'm also all too aware of a lot of people who very much aren't.
I'm aware of people living under oppressive parents, or people being sent to camps to be "made straight".
That you're a happy, healthy success story is great, but from what I've seen, heard, and experienced, you're a lucky anomaly.
The issue is, and i suppose it's slightly hard to articulate, but the structure is rotten, the happy and lucky few are used to pretend that very real harms aren't happening.
It's a problem I've seen my entire life, and I've watched it wat people i cared about whole.
I'm the same as her . I tried to take my life 2 years ago. Spent every day in the counseling office and then therapy all the time after classes. Went to the mental hospital, cried every day. I denied Jesus many times and blamed him for my troubles, but was he the cause, no. The last few months I've spent dedicating my life to bettering myself in my faith have been the happiest months I've had. It happens a lot more than you think.
Completely not true, I didn't start to appreciate life until I read how it was created. Secondly, I don't think you can tell me what helped me considering you weren't there and don't know me at all. Making assumptions about my life won't make you sound better.
Well, i find that idea mildly disappointing, as the Bible's story of creation is demonstrably inaccurate.
If you can only appreciate reality through a false lens then that's just a little sad, especially as it's beautiful at face value.
Can I just say, my situation is a bit different, but I understand exactly what you mean when you were hoping that she would cheat on you or something so it would be easier for you. My kids dad is rough and going through a rough time. Through all the pain he's caused me I still was praying to God for him to easily solve the situation so I wouldn't have to let go and do what was hard. God has been doing some things for me but I still have to do the work myself. It's so hard. I have been praying multiple times a day every day to calm myself and to give it to God and not worry.
And I get feeling alone and how that person has been your best friend for so long. Same with me, I have never opened up this way with anyone else. I'm an only child and have social anxiety so I've always been alone a lot. But it really prepared me for these situations where I don't have my best friend anymore and it's just be talking to God in my head all day. Sometimes I feel like it's better than actual people though sometimes. But I'm glad you gave yourself completely to God. I wish you so much love and luck on your journey. God will always be with you.
OP, it's important to acknowledge any mistakes made in handling the breakup and in our relationship with our partner. Taking responsibility for our actions is a crucial step in moving forward and fostering healing. I encourage you to sincerely apologize, take accountability, and make amends for any wrongdoing, not only in how the breakup was handled but also with anyone else who may have been hurt along the way. This process requires humility and genuine effort to repair any damage caused.also to OP, it's crucial to recognize that being religious or irreligious at the same time aren't mutually exclusive either. Additionally, a person's gender identity or sexual orientation isn't a choice, and queer individuals don't just magically become straight or cisgender. It's important to understand that you can't turn anyone queer; that's not how it works. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is grossly misinformed and narrow-minded. Therefore, it's imperative to stand firm in your beliefs (within reason) and educate others on the validity of queer identities .
My sister in Christ
You're on the right path
Don't be dismayed
For the future ahead of you is brighter than you could ever think of
You did great stepping out of homosexuality.
Reminder:
Legion of Angels rejoiced when you repented. Don't ever disappoint them. Don't listen to those naysayers. God's got you 🙏
Don’t listen to those who think this is a bad choice! I’ve had to change my lifestyle and it hurts, but being able to step deeper into a relationship with God is very much worth it. You are gonna see how much the Holy Spirit heals, you will leave this situation so much better and rooted in your identity as a daughter of God.
I’m praying that you continue to be healed during this time, it’s rough, but do not do this alone! Find a local church! I recommend Every Nation Churches if they are close to you. (Charismatic non-denominational).
Be affirmed that the Lord is a good Shepherd and he is with you in times of sorrow and will comfort you during this time.
Silence the outside noise of this thread!Focus on what the Lord (according to his word, the Bible) wants you to do! If you want to go deeper into your faith, do not listen to those who aren’t even in it themselves; they will only lead you down a confused and dark path full of their own self-presumption or based on how they feel.
Christ is the way the truth and the life.
Continue to put ALL your cares and BURDENS at your father’s feet, he cares about EVERY aspect of your life. Continue to trust him as you grow in your faith and remember to walk in obedience.
I feel happy for you, but i am sad for your partner, i dont blame u for finding god but you really should of not played it out that long its not fair to her.
and now she’s ended it! it’s not like they got engaged or married. people end relationships all the time, it wouldn’t have been fair on her partner if she waited any longer than what she already has. so good on her for letting her partner go, and now her ex can find someone new and OP can strengthen her relationship with God and feel more at peace.
You're young in the Lord, but you've shown some strong marks of maturity. You waited on the Lord and let Him lead you through complex sensitive waters. Just as he did so, he will continue to do so. Many take a long time to understand that the Lord is in the driver's seat.
At 1Cor 7 Paul says to be content wherever you are, but if an opportunity for betterment comes along, take it. You've been through a lot. Letting the dust settle might be a good idea. You can use the time to draw near to the Lord. It's natural to hurt when you've lost something dear to you, even when that is for the best. So don't be hard on yourself. Grieve when you have to, but know the Lord is in it with you, and is happy you are choosing him first.
- "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. -mt 6.33
- For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. -Php 1.6
- Faithful is the One calling you, and He also will bring it to pass. - 1Th 5:24
Personally, I don't think God cares if you have a homosexual relationship. He would love you all the same. I know it says in the book of Leviticus not to, but the way I look at it, there are ten commandments. Ten rules.
And last I checked, "thou shalt not be gay" isn't one of them.
I'm sorry you felt like you had to choose God or your partner, and I wish you all the best.
Do what you think is good for you, whether that's getting back with your partner or pursuing a different relationship. God loves you either way.
Read Psalm 34. You will be fine, takes time. But as you said, spend more time with your heavenly Father. Try to understand his love for you. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 and understand what is the meaning of agape love (love of God). Once you do that, your understand if real love will change. It took me years to understand this, but heart pain, will fade sooner.
Hold strong to your faith and continue searching for God. I promise he will give you comfort, and these troubles will pass.
>For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. 2 Chronicles 16:9
You chose conservatism, not God. God loves you regardless of your sexual preference. It’s conservatives who do not, and they believe they speak for God, but they speak for themselves.
You don’t have to choose them and their bigotry to be a Christian. All that is required of us is love.
"do not stress over this, I will handle it. Do not worry about it now. And so I did just that. And he handled it."
Just like God handled the breakup...He will surely handle your broken heart and loneliness. He IS faithful and IS with you. It may be hard now, but you WILL get through this and look back with gratitude for what God did with your obedience. Remember to "cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7
There are a lot of painful situations we have to face in life, but there is always purpose behind the pain. Romans 8:18. "The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming." And "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways" Isaiah 55:8-9. God bless you for adhering to the Lords pull on your life. I'm sure He's proud of you. I went through a breakup as well that left me extremely lonely and lost. I never thought i'd get through it and healing did take time. But I'm happy i chose to follow Gods voice/lead because if i hadn't i wouldn't be where i am now. I would encourage you to find a good Bible preaching church who is speaking truth and connect with others that way. It helps build your faith when you connect with other Christians who can also be encouraging to you. You will push through. You have God on your side.
Also a lot of what we go through is so God can strengthen and build us in our faith. It's apart of sanctification.
I'm very sad that you would feel such an awful thing is necessary to live your faith. God's not an asshole.
I hope you are able to get over her, though, and aren't in too much sorrow over your sexuality long-term.
It was mutual as she saw my grow and change and she wanted something different in a relationship I couldn’t give her. She is a lukewarm Christian I believe she never talked much about her faith but I promise she is not one to think like that. If anything I think she’ll resort to God which I pray for and will continue to pray for. As for the push, God may condone or not condone homosexual relationships. I am not in the power to question that. I will take what I have been given about the topic and his views and I’d rather live a life of peace knowing I am not displeasing him rather than a life of anxiety and slight guilt knowing I might be
you have obeyed His Word, good job sister. God will reward your obedience with peace. He will also fulfill your desire for a godly husband.
don't listen to any voice but His. if something you hear or read contradicts scripture, discard it, it's a lie. most of these comments fall into that category, unfortunately.
What God would want you to be tormented at the thought of him? What kind of benevolent God would see two healthy equals in love and want them to be ashamed?
You are allowed to be happy and have faith, you are hurting yourself and your former partner, allow yourself to Love.
I think you’ve made a grave mistake that you’re hopefully going to learn from.
Sounds like you’re in a season of isolation. They are so tough but so necessary to develop you in Christ’s image. Break ups are tough. Going through one myself and having to watch them start seeing someone else has really tested my faith.
I often wonder why this is all happening but I always remember I’m being molded and shaped in fire so nothing and no one can take me down as long as I have Him. We have the best ally in Him and he won’t give us more than you can handle He is helping you see what you’re made of and that you can withstand so much with Him. He is surely preparing you for the amazing blessings He has in store that if given to you too early, you may not be ready for. So get ready! We’re here for you!
Posts like this make me so sad that people still buy into ‘Jesus hates gays’ BS argument that the hateful (mainly American) right invented.
Look at the damage it does. Leaving the church (but not Christianity) was one of the best things I’ve done for my own wellbeing. I hope you find your true self and happiness.
I know what you’re feeling, before meeting my husband I had broken up with a guy who I was with for 4 years. You’re allowed to feel the pain and mourn over your relationship. It’s not an easy thing to go through. However, once you have allowed yourself a period to mourn don’t look back. In my experience looking back always always always brings back the pain. (Unless you are reminding yourself of what God did to pull you out of the situation). For now take it day by day. I’m 23 so not that much older than you and I can tell you that there is a Godly man out there for you.
After that breakup I prayed for 2 years and was single for those 2 years before meeting my husband. I told God exactly what I wanted and what I didn’t want. This year makes 5 years of being together and in January of next year will make our first wedding anniversary. God has a purpose and a plan for everyone. When you get the chance watch this [video by Jonathan Cahn that talks about how God has a plan and a purpose for your life.](https://youtu.be/xrMUzM5J0Vg?si=KgfEYhwHB4LVUrR7)
(I am assuming you have declared Jesus as your Lord and savior)
You're on the right path, sister. Keep praying, reading His word, and worshipping Him. The pain will subside and your heart will be filled with TRUE joy once again. You did the right thing. Do not let the enemy confuse you. God sees your sacrifice and He will bring godly relationships to you. One day, you will hear him say : "Well done my daughter"... and He will wipe away all your tears. Now is the time to grow your faith. Feel free to message me if you'd like. I would love to be your friend =) You are not alone. You have brothers and sisters in Christ too. You've just joined our heavenly family 💗
Psalm 34
1 I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2 My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.
3 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
5 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.
6 This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.
8 O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
9 O fear the Lord, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
10 The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.
11 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.
14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.
16 The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.
20 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.
21 Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate.
22 The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate
I'm not going to preach at you what I believe about homosexuality. Instead, I just want to express that a I'm sorry you're hurting right now. It must be really difficult to end that kind of long and close relationship, and you don't need me to starting going off about what I believe.
Just know that it's absolutely normal to hurt, feel angry, feel bad, etc. It's a normal reaction to these kinds of things. You're not bad for feeling this way, you don't need to put any guilt on you for that. God understands you are human, and he loves you regardless. If anything, he likely feels bad with you and wants to comfort you and help you feel better.
There's not really any easy way to just get over something like this, unfortunately. It's a process, and it will hurt, but things will get better. I promise. For now, just do what you can and leave the rest to time and God.
The only bit of advice I'll give is to not entirely cut people out of your life for God. The first great commandment is to love God, but the second is to love your neighbor. Do what you need to recover from your breakup, but afterwards remember you're not here to *only* show love to God.
Above all, I hope you feel better soon, and that something I or someone else here has said has brought you some level of comfort.
Think about this way instead of being gay is wrong, think about this : we sin thousands of times a day all but one sin is seen as equal. Lying and being gay is the exact same in gods eyes. God isn’t going to find this one thing about you block you from heaven. God wants you to go to heaven and being gay isn’t preventing its being yourself. A lot of people think hell is some fire pit when it was barely described in the Bible. hell is without god and heaven is with god
I would pray for God to lead me to the people who he wants in my life. To Godly people, not worldly people. People who live by the Bible and know that a sin is a sin no matter which one and won’t judge you for any you commit. People who love you no matter what sins you are fighting. Please cry out to him and hand over all your guilt, shame, and burdens. He will take them and lighten your load and give you endurance for all things that come your way. Pray without ceasing. He will bring you through all things. Ask him for HIS wisdom, not worldly wisdom. God is enough, but we also need a church-which can be made with just two people. Join Christian groups, try to find a small local Bible study group. Walk the narrow path and God will connect you with fellow travelers. Stay strong in your faith and may God bless you ❤️
Don’t feel guilty about hurting, of course you are, your 2+ year relationship ended. I wish you all the best OP
My heart and head hurts and I want the pain to stop because I am impatient and because of that I feel guilty. I want God to wave his hand and take my pain away. But I know I have to endure this because he wants me to confide in him during this difficult time and he is proving to me so much that I can do this with him. I’m just impatient and it’s one of my biggest sinful flaws sadly
You're allowed to feel hurt, confused, sad, angry. It's natural to feel guilty when we feel like we're too impatient and not trusting God. But Jesus died for every one of your sins, including your impatience. He will bring you through it in his time. But you also do need human fellowship. Find a good church in your area that preaches the gospel! Praying for you. "A bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice." Isaiah 42:3 That's the God we serve.
Exactly this ^ OP! Keep your head up. God will provide for you.
I'm so sorry most of all that Christianity has made you feel like being who you are is unacceptable to God. I don't agree with this take, I think if God exists that He delights in the variety of people He made and doesn't need another straight person, there seem to be plenty.
Gays are not a "variety of people". A single person is, literaly, a variety of people. And we are not erase in our uniqueness when we change a little (which is what sexual orientation is - a little). I'm very sorry the terrible homophobia of Western Christian society has created all those segregations which lead to all those essentialist identities.
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Exactly. Did we segregate adulterers? No, we admonish them, even try to talk their spouses into forgiveness; the young that have premarital sex, which is idolized in the culture everyone consume, we just ask to stop. Did we segregate dunkards? No, we try to heal them, we have them amongst the most admirable stories of repent. Do we segregate the greedy? We gave power to the greedy. And we don't care about slanderers. What did we do with homosexual offenders? We gave them the worst pejorative words, we sent them to jail, we made them hide in plain sight. We look angry at them if they talk or gesticulate in ways that remind us of homosexuality, but have nothing to do with sexual offense. We created the conditions for Stonewall and we kept persecuting them and making martyrs of them and we created a monster where young people have to choose between being chaste and hated or sinful and celebrated. Segregation creates identities, and all identities are lies. We should see ourselves as all part of Jesus Christ's family.
The God she believes in is the God of the Bible. So the things you say don’t matter to her. Sin entered the world through one man. All desires are not good and should not always be taken with the “it’s who you are” mindset
Well, how do I determine if a desire is "good" or not?
For you. Not sure. For her? The Bible.
Christianity does not support homosexuality, nor does it support hurting somebody for to their homosexuality. To truly follow Christ you must try not to sin, no matter temptations. Homosexuality is a sin according to Christianity. God does not rejoice when he sees humans sin, so he would not rejoice in the fact that someone is homosexual even if that is a diversity. Not to say God is not proud of our diversity, her homosexuality would just be one diversity he would not rejoice over.
You know that there was nothing unholy about your relationship, right? You know that it's fine to be a gay Christian? God values love and mercy, those are the things Christ died for on the cross.
She has her convictions, respect them. She clearly trusts God and this is something he put on her heart. It's ok if Christians have varying beliefs. This is between her and God.
She can do what ever, but to hold out for 8 months instead of talking to her gf is horrible and the former gf is probably feeling shitty the entire time
I can't respect a person who throws away her best friend like she is human garbage. I can only pity herself. A path based on self hate leads to destruction. I hope her partner finds a woman who loves her for who she is.
She left the leaving part vauge, "human garbage" might be a stretch for someone she obviously still cares for. Everyone has a unique path filled with their own mistakes and own beliefs. Let the girl be.
It'll just hurt OP even more over time, if she even gets in another relationship at all.
I Agree With You.
It’s really infuriating how non-Christians and “all accepting” Christians come in here. Refusing to admit there are things we must reject. I come in this Reddit and I was really pissed tonight. She’s happy about moving forward yet they’re trying to convince her she was wrong. The audacity!!!
How did you get "happy about moving forward" from the OP? All I got was fear of being alone and that OP isn't worthy of love. Nothing about being happy with her current decision.
I'm sorry that being accepting and loving is such an infuriating concept to you.
Infuriating? I’m infuriated you’re telling her what she prayed for was wrong. Same-sex relationships are not the way. It is not supported and is spoken against in the Bible, not once!!
There is nothing wrong about gay relationships. IF you think there is you are a person based on hate for your fellow human beings. If you faith claims that gay relationships are wrong, you fait is based on human hatred. Nothing more...nothing less. There is nothing wrong with an adult human loving another adult human.
"I was really pissed tonight" I used to feel that way coming into these threads. I took a break from Christian reddit posts and honed in on my own faith before coming back. I say this, hoping you don't think I'm attacking you, but this issue is not about you. It's about her and the other thousands of gay Christians caught in this cultural crossfire. This is one of those times where showing empathy or staying quiet are the 2 best and least destructive options.
Even with me saying I was pissed, I was still respectful. Mostly I was disheartened seeing people tell her what God is putting in her heart is wrong. But I totally understand you. Self control is crucial as a Christian and to a degree I didn’t embody that. Thank you for your correction.
Dear friend, The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Fear God. Follow Him. If God has shown you what is better for you and you are slowly resenting homosexuality, pray to him further. Read your Bible. If you follow the world and their advice, don’t forget only YOU will answer to God. Love, A stranger.
Thats so sad. I am not sure why you think God wants this for you. The pain wont just go away.
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No, many gay people are Christian. Self hate is not Christian.
Are you saying your relationship was a sin because it was a same-sex relationship? Because... homosexuality is not a sin
1 Corinthians 6:9-20 9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Here's a bit of reading on the translation of that particular passage: https://www.str.org/w/did-translators-wrongly-interpret-homosexuality-in-1-corinthians-6-9- In its original languages, the Bible never says, "homosexual" even once. The word only came about within the last 200 years. Sorry you were given a translation infused with hate and ignorance.
The first red flag with that article is " Unlearning Christianity"
Great. But that doesn't address translation issues. There have been multiple translations and by committing to one and neglecting other possibilities, it sounds like you are willfully choosing to hold hate in your heart for people who love differently than you do. Like are you SURE that's what the Bible says? Do you speak the original languages? I don't but I'm open to hearing more nuanced translations. It's easier and lighter to be receptive to loving someone than committing to hating them.
It's wrong to make an assumption that i'd hate anyone having not said that or know me as an individual. If people aren't using scripture to back up what they believe then it's not worth listening to. If we are **truly** Christians then we Go to **Gods word for answers** not man. Be very careful who you listen to.
Ironic that you say that and choose to accept a translation that condemns people for whom they love and not a translation that condemns rapists
As a man who has been alone for ten years, all I can say is that there are days when the Lord makes me content and full of joy and days when I am depressed. If you don't want to marry a man and have sex with a man, then I suspect your future will look a lot like mine. It isn't terrible, but every time I look at a loving couple I am reminded what I can't have. If you feel isolated, try to find a church that welcomes you and has decent grounding. It will warm your heart to see people you can relate to every week and give you a reason to keep going. I'll pray for you, that the Lord grants you peace with your decision and lifts you up to serving Him.
Luckily I am still attracted to men and would love to find a very Godly and loving man one day, although there seems to be few in my generation unfortunately. But I know I shouldn’t worry about that now and whether God does give me an amazing spouse or if I am meant to be alone then I know I am never truly alone with him and it is what it is. I feel for your situation as it was something I did fear when I was with this girl because I thought I lost my attraction to men but ever since working on my faith God has literally worked magic and made me almost not attracted to women at all anymore and again more attracted to men (which I have prayed for since I was like 17). I feel for you and I know that must be very disheartening sometimes but in the end it’s all worth it and I’m sure God is so incredibly proud of you because he chose you to be one of his strongest. I genuinely think being a homosexual or bisexual or whatever us one of the hardest things because we have to say no to LOVE that disguises it’s self the BEST. It’s so so difficult. But you are stronger than I think I ever could be so that is a gift and a strength you have that other Christians such as myself envy and that God will reward you with later on. 🤍
Thank you for your kind words. If you are attracted to men, then you will have no problem finding one that respects Jesus as much as you do. May God bless you abundantly.
Hi, I am sorry that you're hurting, this break up must be painful. But praise GOD that you made the choice you did to surrender to Him completely! I'm praying that GOD will comfort you and grant you peace and joy during this tough time, in Jesus name. Also, there are quite a few godly men I've noticed at my church, so they are out there! Just keep following GOD like you're already doing, and "...seek first His kingdom and God righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well", as Matthew 6:33 states, and if it's His will for you, He will grant you a godly man to be your companion! Just keep praying and believe! GOD Bless!
My friend, maybe it's not a disguise. I would say this to any lgbt person in the church: What greater love is there than one who would lay down their life for another? If you feel that way about anyone else, even another woman, that's love and there is no guile in that. You can honestly know the intentions of your heart and see sacrificial love. u/Early-Average1926 , please do not forget there is a vast community of lgbt-affirming Christian communities. Some of the most wonderful people I know are a part of them. God created us (nearly) all with a deep need for "romantic" love and intimacy, it's a wonderful thing. Ask yourself if a loving Father God would want you to be tormented by one of the most beautiful parts of being a human being of his design. He does not take joy in our loneliness or intimacy starving. Those who claim it's unnatural forget the wide spectrum of sexuality found among all manner of creatures in the natural world...among other things (like properly contextualizing ancient texts and being honest about cherry picking moral relativism).
I think this is a very sweet post and something I wanted to share too. Maybe finding an LGBTQIA+ friendly church community is a good starting place during this time? Maybe it’ll allow you to fully explore all that you are navigating, but most of all listen to God and use Him to guide you where it feels spiritually right. Every relationship with God is personal and uniquely your own. I don’t know what God has in store for you and where He is leading you, but I am so sorry for the loss of your relationship and I am so sorry for the grief and pain you are both navigating. I definitely send prayers your way, that your pain will heal and your path forward will be clear. For me and my own personal journey, I have always been an ally and continue to support Christianity and the LGBT communities coming together, it never felt right in my heart for it to be anything other than acceptance and worship together. God has shared this is my heart and it’s the truth I have found in my own spiritual journey and walk with the Lord, I need a Christian community that loves, accepts, and supports LGBT church members. God has a plan for you and the person you’re supposed to be with. He is leading you toward His plans. I know that journey isn’t always clear and it takes time, but I am so happy that you have a relationship with God and I pray for your healing and peace in this new chapter you have started!
Just cause it feels right or some verse can be wished away doesn’t make it ok
Your views are not biblical.
I'm not here to debate with you, but I will just point something out. Like it or not, accept it or not, "Your views are not biblical" is just an opinion. The fact is, there are vast portions of the church, biblical scholars, and entire denominations that would strongly disagree with you. While deep in your own bubble, it can be so easy to dismiss them or think that your people are just smarter than all those other people. Trust me, I spent a lot years doing it myself. So many people of faith unfortunately have the subtle arrogance to think their own way of reading/interpreting/applying the Bible is the only true or valid one (as if we could ever know for sure in this life). They cling to the things they need to be true on an emotional level, without even consciously recognizing that.
They literally quoted the Bible.
Ooooffff this is tough to hear. I think American conservative culture has dominated our faiths and dictates which sins are weighed more heavily than others. Jesus said “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of A needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” And yet we see wealth as a virtue. Nobody stands outside of mansions and porsche dealerships holding signs and shouting at the rich people that they are living in sin and need to repent. This is because doing so would be counter to our culture. Yet is is clear as day in the Bible. God said to Moses “Whatever parts the hoof and is cloven-footed and chews the cud, among the animals, you may eat.” Yet how many people leave Sunday service and get a grand slam with bacon at Denny’s after. Nobody stands in the meat isle holding signs to tell the pork consumers they are living in sin. We don’t see people protesting straight couples having pre marital sex with nearly the same vigor that they do for gay couples. My point is that we all live in sin and fall short. Obviously some sins are worse for humanity. this is common sense. A serial killer or war criminal is doing more damage than a guy had sex with his girlfriend before they were married. How do we know that God will judge the millionaire or bacon eater more or less harshly than the homosexual? If you do not live a perfect life then we are not in a position to say that your lifestyle is less clean than mine.
Yep. Agreed. Honestly it's the hypocrisy and bad faith of a lot of this stuff that pushes me, and other people, away from the faith. Homosexuality is hardly mentioned (and not unambiguously) in the bible, and yet it makes up a lot of the posts in this group, and talk generally. While the attitude towards money and the poor is much clearer and spoken about a lot more, and no-one has ever posted "help I might be rich", and it's certainly not ten times a week. I hope OP finds her way and is happy nonetheless.
“Help I might be rich” 😂
There actually was a post like this very recently. (I won't link because it's a young person having an anxiety attack.)
God specifically came to Peter in the book of Acts and repealed the dietary laws. FYI.
That's not how Peter took it.
?
Pre martial sex and divorce are still commended. Idk what church you guys all go too, but I’ve never heard a church support that stuff. Your also rich by just living in the USA
What you are doing makes no sense though. If A and B are sins and as you claim more people hate A but less hate B the answer isn’t to tell people it’s okay to do A. The better answer is to condemn A and B instead of watering all down to its lowest threshold.
You quote scripture about bacon yet leave out all the scripture that totally torpedoes your argument. Convenient.
Please let me know what “torpedos” my argument.
All sin should be approached with love and gentleness as we are told to. We are also told to give and help others. Resources can provide that ability. Do you think she should’ve stayed the way she was? *genuine question*
You can't pray the gay away. It's not a "sin" that if you focus really hard on you can overcome. Your thoughts and feelings will always be there, and it will never leave your side. You aren't ready to hear the reason why, but honestly your depression will get worse until you get some actual, REAL help. No redditors, no pastors, but actual help. In the meanwhile, my heart honestly goes out more to your ex partner. I hope she finds someone who accepts her the way she accepted you, and stuck by you when no one else did in the last nine months. You'll figure it out, though. Who knows how you will feel when you do. Good luck.
I would say the best thing is to not close yourself in… don’t cut yourself off from the world because of the pain you’re in… put yourself out there… easiest thing is get active at church… find a small group, volunteer on Sunday, etc. The small bonds you will be sure to make through just doing that could be that extra strength you need through all this that will ultimately lead to lasting friendships.
The number of people congratulating this person for entering into an isolated spiral of self-loathing is disturbing. Feeling guilty for being lonely is terrible but I guess rejecting the harmless inherent quality of being attracted to the same sex matters more to some people and they're not seeing how sad this post is.
Genuinely disturbing. I feel so sorry for this woman. And so many people here are applauding her self-loathing as some kind of victory.
It goes to show that for all the talk certain Christians have of how condemning homosexuality isn't hateful and that it is based on love, what they want is for people to just stop being gay regardless of the mental harm that causes.
This is the fast track: 1. The things I was programmed to love is against God 2. I self-isolated due to this belief 3. I am so alone and I hate who I am. I am spiraling and it’s because I don’t love God enough. I knew people who took their own life that followed this path. I also knew others who decided to fully embrace and love themselves and are much better for it. They don’t know if it’s sin or not, but they’re alive and able to contribute to God’s kingdom.
It’s extremism, plain and simple. There’s a difference between a theology and expecting people isolate themselves for a specific extreme interpretation of theology. Just because it’s mainstream doesn’t mean it’s not an extremist line of logic which has become prevalent through the faith, and i cannot imagine Christianity writ large will keep up this fundamentalist path over time.
I agree, and I'm happy to say I know plenty of Christians who don't follow this extreme dogmatic interpretation.
I just wish people would be willing to step back and see that extremism and fundamentalism are synonymous, and that if someone wants to personally live that path it can be acceptable for them but when you start treating that as the faith you end up with a poison of radical thought which accepts callousness and cruelty as a virtue.
It's somehow Godly to stop talking to everyone, apparently. Better join a convent for that. Then at least you won't be alone.
I guess all her old friends are sinners so they can't be associated with. Only associate with people who have the same beliefs as you.
Ick. Personally I'd say find yourself the closest glbtq-affirming church and get some community that isn't a love bomb.
It concerns me as well. Deeply. Though a small part of me is suspect that it may be trolling due to the line about depression. It is so cliche and simplistic. But I took it at face value. I figured full condemnation wouldn't help, so I tried to validate her and make her feel supported, and criticized what she did. This whole situation sucks.
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Fr. As a catholic gay man who married another man (in an Episcopal church), it bothers me to see people take same sex relationships so seriously. I just don’t see how a loving god would deny love between two people. As you say, it’s harmless. Bible was still written by men who are flawed and had their own biases.
I would suggest finding a local church and attending it regularly if able. The people you'll surround yourself with want nothing more than for you to be happy and know your place in this world. You may feel alone and that all your friends have abandoned you but the people that attend church come from all walks of life and are on their own journey to discover their creator. You're not alone on this earth :)
This answer! I celebrate you in the fact that you have given all of who you are to your Savior! But, this is also going to be an extremely trying and vulnerable time. Remember, God allows us to go through times that feel more than we can bear so that we learn to rely on Him. Definitely join a good, Bible-believing, Bible teaching church…not just your weekend pep-talk sermon like so many churches have become. Your local church is the best as you most of the congregants (not all) probably live in your same town. Keep on praying, rely on Jesus. There is no other way but Him. Welcome to the sheepfold!!
People need God and people need people too. Go meet good new friends. God bless you
Your poor partner.
You have broken strong bonds. That does hurt. You say you've cut out all of your friends. Do you have any fellow Christians you spend time with? Do you have a Church you call your own? If not, finding one could be a good way to find new connections. Spending time with God is awesome but we are not meant to be hermits. I think it would be very valuable for you to find other Christians to fellowship with.
I feel bad for your partner and worry about your mental state. This isn't healthy. If you want to be single and devote your life to God thats wonderful, but, if you deny your own natural sexuality because you think the Bible said to and you ended a two you deep intimate relationship over it...this is not healthy at all
This is not Biblical direction, but rather human emotion.
I'm sorry you felt like you are not allowed to be happy and faithful at the same time. My heart hurts reading this. So many of His children have been told that they're not His if they were made differently, and that they must try to "deny" who they are when others are not made to do the same. I hope you take whatever rest you need and come back to what He has genuinely designed for you, not what others believe you should be.
we are all riddled with sin and who we are isn’t good enough. that’s literally kind of the whole point? christianity has a lot of tough love, not just “i love you pls be happy”. you must die to yourself everyday for God as a true Christian. i have an extremely high sex drive, that’s just who i am, however that ISNT GOOD ENOUGH. i try everyday not to commit fornication with my boyfriend and little by little i am becoming better and better for God. i’m not just going to get mad or sad that i’m naturally not good enough.
"Tough love" implies for the person's own good. But Side B ideology is bad for LGBTQ people. It's empty prejudice whether it comes from people or from God (although people bear moral responsibility for promoting it in any case). I imagine the commenter also thinks God is loving, but feels that Side B is inconsistent with His loving character.
> But Side B ideology is bad for LGBTQ people. Bad in an Earthly consequentionalist way, sure, but when you have souls and literal eternal hellfire on the line, all Earthly consequences become irrelevant.
>Earthly consequences become irrelevant Yes, I agree that if ECT and "gay sex is sin (threatening lost salvation)" are both true then they trump other considerations. I was pointing to one reason many Christians think one or both are false: namely, the anti-gay doctrine backed by fear of hell is very bad for LGBTQ people's Earthly lives, and seems inconsistent with a truly loving God (which is fundamental to many people's Christian beliefs).
Hell isn’t real
> Hell isn’t real Well, there it is, time to close up /r/Christianity, case closed.
sex makes me happy. but do you know what makes me happy? pleasing God. you cant enter a relationship with someone and continuously disrespect their boundaries while claiming you love them and taking advantage of them forgiving you.
This isn't about s*x. That's a separate conversation I want no part of.
This is what so many people don't get. Modern culture tells people to "be themselves". Christianity says don't be yourself because yourself is a product of a fallen world and a fallen human spirit. But people who follow their own truth will never escape themselves.
Romans teaches everyone is born with a functioning conscience.
Then do what God wants you to do and stop having sex. Be celibate and give *everything* to God. Stop reserving "happiness" for yourself.
that’s like… the point of my comment 🙂 i am celibate because i put god above my desires. i think you misunderstood, but that’s all good. thank you for saying that regardless.
>when others are not made to do the same Lies. We are all called to deny our flesh. The flesh and the spirit are at war. It's one of the most basic tenets of Christianity.
Why are straight people never told this? You only target queer people with such assumptions.
In the churches I attended growing up, straight people *were always* and still are told this.
We are called to deny damaging worldly pleasure, but the fruit of isolation is not good. If it were a good fruit, you would see examples of benefits. E.g. a recovering alcoholic. Yet, that does not seem to be the case despite Christians attempting left-handed therapy for years. Non-affirming positions are not fruitful.
The Bible talks about different season and some of them are painful and some are joyful and others are boring. The beautiful thing is that God is the same God in all seasons and if you continue to push into Him you will find joy and peace. As for the human element the absolute best advice I can give you is to find a church. First and foremost it needs to be a church with good biblical foundations and then second id try to find one with people near your age. I actually left a church that I was attending and was in a similar place and God blessed that tremendously and I have made Frend’s and even my closest frend I have ever had at my new church.
You are not alone. As long as you have God you will never be alone. And unfortunately the only place to be, especially for a Christian, where you just don't care and feel no pain is heaven. Jesus is making alot of changes in your life and that's awesome. Keep following the Lord. I'm proud of you, and I love you sister in Christ. Remember, the Lord will never leave thee or forsake you.
Worst thing I have ever read on here. Also sounds like some shit I would do during a manic episode and regret for the next 5 years, I hope you get help OP.
As an atheist: this appears to be very toxic Christianity and i fear its led you to make a terrible mistake. Best of luck but i dont think religion is going to fix your problems, if anything its harming you.
I'm very sad that you would feel such an awful thing is necessary to live your faith. God's not an asshole. I hope you are able to get over her, though, and aren't in too much sorrow over your sexuality long-term.
i was under the impression from your last post that you guys both held the same values and religion? seems like you ended a deep intimate relationship with someone who you apparently loved because you think religion/faith and sexuality can’t coexist at the same time. i don’t believe in christianity but i do believe in a different god and it’s all about freedom to love and freedom of expression. i’m pansexual and freely love women, men, and all genders and sexualities. my god makes me feel validated in that and helps me love and feel positively within my sexuality. i only hope that you can find that one day because we as humans should not deny how we feel, who we are, or how we want to present ourselves to the world. i feel for your ex partner who thought she shared something deep with you. she deserves so much better than you & i hope she finds it. mwah!
You made a mistake
You sound like you have religious OCD. Also i hope your ex gf finds someone better who doesnt speak of her like that, do you even hear yourself? How cold and cruel you sound? I used to think like you and be very much obsessed with following god, but eventually i found out he doesnt exist after sacraficing 7 years of my life to serve him and getting nothing in return but hurt . What you are doing is wrong and you are just hurting yourself and the people around you.
I might be stirring up some controversy by discussing this topic, but here's my perspective. First and foremost, I as a cis woman who proudly embraces being a static queer woman on the bi/pansexual spectrum. Additionally, I align myself with progressive liberal, feminist, ethical, and humanist principles, understanding the importance of intersectionality and striving to be an ally to all marginalized groups. I was raised in a Christian household, surrounded by Christian loved ones, yet unlike some, they fully accept queer relationships, marriages, and families, regardless of gender identity or orientation. So, my viewpoints aren't unfounded, and they align with the true essence of Christianity.It's crucial to distinguish between religion itself and its militant interpretations, especially when they infringe upon the rights of marginalized individuals. Hate stemming from such interpretations spreads further hate and violence against these groups. And while I acknowledge there are Christians within disenfranchised communities, that's a separate discussion.I am truly sorry if any conservative Christians in your life have made you feel inadequate or judged for your queerness. It's important to recognize that a person's gender identity and sexual orientation are not choices. Furthermore, one's religious beliefs and acceptance of marginalized groups aren't mutually exclusive. Anyone trying to convince you otherwise is misguided and misinformed.Now, regarding your ended relationship, it's natural to feel heartbroken and lost. However, it's essential to reflect on how you handled the situation. If you feel defensive, it might indicate internalized queerphobia or misguided beliefs about queerness and morality. Mistreating someone based on their gender identity or sexual orientation is unacceptable and requires rectification.Consider seeking mental health resources for your healing journey and making amends with those you've harmed. Surround yourself with accepting individuals and reevaluate your worldview. Disagreement is acceptable, but not when it undermines someone's rights or humanity. As James Baldwin said, "We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist."Lastly, while freedom of speech is vital, it's not without consequences. Hate speech and discrimination have no place in civilized discourse. Let's help to foster a society where diversity is celebrated, and everyone's rights are respected.
God gave you a loving relationship and you ended it. That was a major mistake. God created you as a lesbian. You were not created to be alone.
Based on strikingly similar experiences with a roommate I met through a college group, OP is manic right now. Speech patterns are the same too. I went and looked and she mentioned being suspected of having bipolar disorder. This is so sad. I hope she listens to the sincere advice to speak with a doctor because these situations can have deadly complications SO fast.
These are the fruits of the forces of darkness. This is what happens when Christians begin to hate others. Self-loathing and isolation. They'd rather you be dead than LGBTQ+.
You need to talk to a therapist or other medical professional. You are mentally ill
I'm sorry that other Christians have made you feel that you're unworthy of love. That's not true. Even if this relationship is over, you won't be alone forever, I have faith that God will help you find someone that you belong with.
Sorry did she say that other Christians made her feel this way? Also she said she is attracted to men and she does plan of finding someone.
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Fellow atheist here but I enjoy reading these posts as I used to be Christian. So sorry yo hear about your loss. Also going through an absolutely horrendous break up as well. Reading these types of things break my heart. You had a relationship that was happy and you abandoned it just because of religion. This is one of the many many reasons I left Christianity. You lose so much access to your own sexuality and other people because of it. It’s not freeing to be “in Christ” but quite the opposite. It’s a prison. And it’s so sad that Christianity does this to people and their relationships. I’m so so sorry about what you’re going through. I would ask you to seriously think about if this is still what you truly want. Do you want to be attached to a belief system where you can’t live authentically within your own sexuality? Because I can tell you I tried to do it and in the end I was just miserable and couldn’t take it anymore.
I hate this sub.
With all due respect, God isn't a magic genie that makes people do things. God does not infringe upon free will. So realistically, decisions made by others are not made by God. That being said, it seems to me you've been listening to the wrong people. It is absolutely acceptable to both gay and Christian. The two are not mutually exclusive, and anyone who tells you such needs to learn 4th century Greek and ancient Hebrew. Every passage in the bible that supposedly condemns homosexuality can be chalked up to either A. Unapplicable Old Testament law that Christians are no longer required to follow due to the Old Covenant having been erased. B. Mistranslation (as in the case of Genesis and thereby any later OT passages that rely on Genesis) C. Not reading the entire passage OR not understanding the context of who Paul was writing to and what historically was going on in that location. Furthermore, a just and loving God is not going to condemn a person to a life of romantic isolation and celibacy when we were created, by Him, with a very strong need for partnership. That same loving God would not push people to suffer needlessly to the extent where many people in your shoes struggle with mental health issues to the extent of suicide. You didn't choose your attraction, and you were made with an innate need for partnership. Anyone who says it is "a choice" believes the choice is for you to be miserable or to go to hell... a choice that is contrary to the compassion demonstrated through Christ. That being said, I know I'm going to be downvoted to oblivion for this and likely attacked in the comments by self-righteous fundamentalists, but even IF I am 100% incorrect (which you won't convince me of... I was once on your side), I dare those of you seething while reading this to comment if you are without any sin. If not, worry about yourself and don't lay the burden of celibacy and emotional isolation on someone when you yourself would never bear that burden... even if you believe somehow people choose their attraction.
Of course you're hurting, you made a huge mistake that hurt someone else too.
who are you to say she made a huge mistake?
Regardless of what you believe in, you are entitled to love.
And she has that love, through our Lord Jesus Christ!
It cannot be Christ who led them into pain and suffering and called it "love"
Where did Christ say there will be no suffering?
Where did Christ say that minorities should have suffering in ways not expected of others?
You think all suffering should be uniform? We are individuals with different views of the world. To say that some will suffer in different ways than others is common sense, no?
No one should be expected to suffer in a particular way that another is not on the sheer basis of having a different identity. The rules do not apply differently. If you were equally innocent or guilty, why should your sister be expected to be punished on the sheer basis of having blue eyes while you have brown?
Why not? If I understand you correctly, you are saying pain and suffering are antithetical to the Christian life on this earth? Christ warned the 12 that they would need to die horrible deaths if they truly loved him. And that if the 12 didn’t defend him on earth, He wouldn’t defend them in the afterlife. “Those who seek to save their life shall lose it, but those who seek to lose their life shall gain it” After fleeing at the crucifixion, the 12 apostles are re-motivated and reinspired at his resurrection and all proudly are martyred some of the most horrible deaths possible because they love Him. To put it simply, Christ would rather you suffer hell on earth so that you can have eternal life in heaven where love is infinite and pain nonexistent, not even as a memory. Vs following your sinful pleasures on earth and potential damn yourself to eternity in hell, where pain is infinite and eternal.
OP's love is no more a "sinful pleasure" than yours.
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I'm sorry you're hurting. Please don't shunt your depression on not being a Christian. While you meant well and it may have helped you, this is an insult to those suffering for depression. I hope you find a path that is healthy for you. And I hope both you and your Ex are able to find someone who will love you unconditionally. I feel awful for your ex though. She stood by you. And while you are fully entitled to break up for any reason, she was there for you and you broke it off for religious belief. It sucks for everyone involved.
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She was thrown away like garbage. She certainly feels like shit. I hope the OP's ex can find someone who loves her for who she is.
Yeah, as someone who has experienced similar scenarios from the girlfriend’s perspective it can create a lot of unwarranted insecurity and self-criticism. I hope she knows better than to blame herself. I’ve unfortunately learned to equate being in a same-sex relationship (or even just openly gay) with semi-out or affirming Christian girls as a precursor to being thrown under the bus. I know there are totally affirming and healthy queer Christian relationships but it just has never been my experience. What OP’s ex just experienced is a canon event and she’s learning a hard lesson.
Not only will they throw you under the bus. They will ask for support when they do. They will treat you like human garbage and then ask for sympathy because they are lonely.
Humans are meant to be partnered...
It breaks my heart that you feel you had to break up. It hurts knowing that you're hurting. Have you tried speaking with a therapist? Have you tried looking into affirming Christianity?
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regardless of your beliefs, she did break up for a reason. she believes in God and she would have been hurting if she continued the relationship, regardless of if it was good or not, because of her beliefs.
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the beliefs aren’t the problem. as far as i’m aware from the title you’ve given yourself, you’re not Christian. how do you know she’s not the happiest in her Christian lifestyle? as someone who previously identified as bisexual and practiced witchcraft, i’m a lot happier and less depressed in my newfound beliefs and relationship with God. i’m happier denying myself of certain aspects of life for a different life that ultimately makes me feel whole. i genuinely understand the frustration- i’ve been there and at some point in my life i had the same thoughts, that religion caused more harm than good. however, trust me as a christian who’s lived a non christian lifestyle, i’m happier now and if she claims she’s happier and she still has the option of a marriage (as she’s said, she’s still attracted to men), what’s really the issue?
I'm glad you're happier, but I'm also all too aware of a lot of people who very much aren't. I'm aware of people living under oppressive parents, or people being sent to camps to be "made straight". That you're a happy, healthy success story is great, but from what I've seen, heard, and experienced, you're a lucky anomaly. The issue is, and i suppose it's slightly hard to articulate, but the structure is rotten, the happy and lucky few are used to pretend that very real harms aren't happening. It's a problem I've seen my entire life, and I've watched it wat people i cared about whole.
I'm the same as her . I tried to take my life 2 years ago. Spent every day in the counseling office and then therapy all the time after classes. Went to the mental hospital, cried every day. I denied Jesus many times and blamed him for my troubles, but was he the cause, no. The last few months I've spent dedicating my life to bettering myself in my faith have been the happiest months I've had. It happens a lot more than you think.
What helped was the change in mindset. You stopped the blame game and started appreciating life. Your faith isn't what helped there.
Completely not true, I didn't start to appreciate life until I read how it was created. Secondly, I don't think you can tell me what helped me considering you weren't there and don't know me at all. Making assumptions about my life won't make you sound better.
Well, i find that idea mildly disappointing, as the Bible's story of creation is demonstrably inaccurate. If you can only appreciate reality through a false lens then that's just a little sad, especially as it's beautiful at face value.
The world's creation is meant to be "demonstrably inaccurate" in the sense that nobody besides him can do it. He can do it because he IS God.
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Can I just say, my situation is a bit different, but I understand exactly what you mean when you were hoping that she would cheat on you or something so it would be easier for you. My kids dad is rough and going through a rough time. Through all the pain he's caused me I still was praying to God for him to easily solve the situation so I wouldn't have to let go and do what was hard. God has been doing some things for me but I still have to do the work myself. It's so hard. I have been praying multiple times a day every day to calm myself and to give it to God and not worry. And I get feeling alone and how that person has been your best friend for so long. Same with me, I have never opened up this way with anyone else. I'm an only child and have social anxiety so I've always been alone a lot. But it really prepared me for these situations where I don't have my best friend anymore and it's just be talking to God in my head all day. Sometimes I feel like it's better than actual people though sometimes. But I'm glad you gave yourself completely to God. I wish you so much love and luck on your journey. God will always be with you.
[The Hunger](https://youtu.be/RTRT794IQBg?si=orF7VEEFlgnvYDdY) in our souls (highly relevant to your post, I really recommend watching this vid)
OP, it's important to acknowledge any mistakes made in handling the breakup and in our relationship with our partner. Taking responsibility for our actions is a crucial step in moving forward and fostering healing. I encourage you to sincerely apologize, take accountability, and make amends for any wrongdoing, not only in how the breakup was handled but also with anyone else who may have been hurt along the way. This process requires humility and genuine effort to repair any damage caused.also to OP, it's crucial to recognize that being religious or irreligious at the same time aren't mutually exclusive either. Additionally, a person's gender identity or sexual orientation isn't a choice, and queer individuals don't just magically become straight or cisgender. It's important to understand that you can't turn anyone queer; that's not how it works. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is grossly misinformed and narrow-minded. Therefore, it's imperative to stand firm in your beliefs (within reason) and educate others on the validity of queer identities .
Stay in God's.word..daily..all day...seek pastoral discipleship..get in a fellowship of believers
praise Jesus
My sister in Christ You're on the right path Don't be dismayed For the future ahead of you is brighter than you could ever think of You did great stepping out of homosexuality. Reminder: Legion of Angels rejoiced when you repented. Don't ever disappoint them. Don't listen to those naysayers. God's got you 🙏
Don’t listen to those who think this is a bad choice! I’ve had to change my lifestyle and it hurts, but being able to step deeper into a relationship with God is very much worth it. You are gonna see how much the Holy Spirit heals, you will leave this situation so much better and rooted in your identity as a daughter of God. I’m praying that you continue to be healed during this time, it’s rough, but do not do this alone! Find a local church! I recommend Every Nation Churches if they are close to you. (Charismatic non-denominational). Be affirmed that the Lord is a good Shepherd and he is with you in times of sorrow and will comfort you during this time. Silence the outside noise of this thread!Focus on what the Lord (according to his word, the Bible) wants you to do! If you want to go deeper into your faith, do not listen to those who aren’t even in it themselves; they will only lead you down a confused and dark path full of their own self-presumption or based on how they feel. Christ is the way the truth and the life. Continue to put ALL your cares and BURDENS at your father’s feet, he cares about EVERY aspect of your life. Continue to trust him as you grow in your faith and remember to walk in obedience.
I feel happy for you, but i am sad for your partner, i dont blame u for finding god but you really should of not played it out that long its not fair to her.
and now she’s ended it! it’s not like they got engaged or married. people end relationships all the time, it wouldn’t have been fair on her partner if she waited any longer than what she already has. so good on her for letting her partner go, and now her ex can find someone new and OP can strengthen her relationship with God and feel more at peace.
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You're young in the Lord, but you've shown some strong marks of maturity. You waited on the Lord and let Him lead you through complex sensitive waters. Just as he did so, he will continue to do so. Many take a long time to understand that the Lord is in the driver's seat. At 1Cor 7 Paul says to be content wherever you are, but if an opportunity for betterment comes along, take it. You've been through a lot. Letting the dust settle might be a good idea. You can use the time to draw near to the Lord. It's natural to hurt when you've lost something dear to you, even when that is for the best. So don't be hard on yourself. Grieve when you have to, but know the Lord is in it with you, and is happy you are choosing him first. - "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. -mt 6.33 - For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. -Php 1.6 - Faithful is the One calling you, and He also will bring it to pass. - 1Th 5:24
Personally, I don't think God cares if you have a homosexual relationship. He would love you all the same. I know it says in the book of Leviticus not to, but the way I look at it, there are ten commandments. Ten rules. And last I checked, "thou shalt not be gay" isn't one of them. I'm sorry you felt like you had to choose God or your partner, and I wish you all the best. Do what you think is good for you, whether that's getting back with your partner or pursuing a different relationship. God loves you either way.
I cannot imagine God would want you to suffer in this way.
:(
I feel bad for you. You don't have to go down that path. Self-loathing is an awful thing.
Read Psalm 34. You will be fine, takes time. But as you said, spend more time with your heavenly Father. Try to understand his love for you. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 and understand what is the meaning of agape love (love of God). Once you do that, your understand if real love will change. It took me years to understand this, but heart pain, will fade sooner.
Hold strong to your faith and continue searching for God. I promise he will give you comfort, and these troubles will pass. >For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. 2 Chronicles 16:9
You chose conservatism, not God. God loves you regardless of your sexual preference. It’s conservatives who do not, and they believe they speak for God, but they speak for themselves. You don’t have to choose them and their bigotry to be a Christian. All that is required of us is love.
I’m concerned. To harm and hide yourself in the name of God is not healthy.
"do not stress over this, I will handle it. Do not worry about it now. And so I did just that. And he handled it." Just like God handled the breakup...He will surely handle your broken heart and loneliness. He IS faithful and IS with you. It may be hard now, but you WILL get through this and look back with gratitude for what God did with your obedience. Remember to "cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7 There are a lot of painful situations we have to face in life, but there is always purpose behind the pain. Romans 8:18. "The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming." And "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways" Isaiah 55:8-9. God bless you for adhering to the Lords pull on your life. I'm sure He's proud of you. I went through a breakup as well that left me extremely lonely and lost. I never thought i'd get through it and healing did take time. But I'm happy i chose to follow Gods voice/lead because if i hadn't i wouldn't be where i am now. I would encourage you to find a good Bible preaching church who is speaking truth and connect with others that way. It helps build your faith when you connect with other Christians who can also be encouraging to you. You will push through. You have God on your side. Also a lot of what we go through is so God can strengthen and build us in our faith. It's apart of sanctification.
I'm very sad that you would feel such an awful thing is necessary to live your faith. God's not an asshole. I hope you are able to get over her, though, and aren't in too much sorrow over your sexuality long-term.
God didn’t want you to do that
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It was mutual as she saw my grow and change and she wanted something different in a relationship I couldn’t give her. She is a lukewarm Christian I believe she never talked much about her faith but I promise she is not one to think like that. If anything I think she’ll resort to God which I pray for and will continue to pray for. As for the push, God may condone or not condone homosexual relationships. I am not in the power to question that. I will take what I have been given about the topic and his views and I’d rather live a life of peace knowing I am not displeasing him rather than a life of anxiety and slight guilt knowing I might be
I wish you peace, OP. May the Lord’s love fill you with joy, peace and contentment. I pray the same for your ex partner.
But you're clearly not at peace, by your own words
you have obeyed His Word, good job sister. God will reward your obedience with peace. He will also fulfill your desire for a godly husband. don't listen to any voice but His. if something you hear or read contradicts scripture, discard it, it's a lie. most of these comments fall into that category, unfortunately.
What God would want you to be tormented at the thought of him? What kind of benevolent God would see two healthy equals in love and want them to be ashamed?
You are allowed to be happy and have faith, you are hurting yourself and your former partner, allow yourself to Love. I think you’ve made a grave mistake that you’re hopefully going to learn from.
Why can’t you have both in your life
Certain people don't want certain other people to have joy
Sounds like you’re in a season of isolation. They are so tough but so necessary to develop you in Christ’s image. Break ups are tough. Going through one myself and having to watch them start seeing someone else has really tested my faith. I often wonder why this is all happening but I always remember I’m being molded and shaped in fire so nothing and no one can take me down as long as I have Him. We have the best ally in Him and he won’t give us more than you can handle He is helping you see what you’re made of and that you can withstand so much with Him. He is surely preparing you for the amazing blessings He has in store that if given to you too early, you may not be ready for. So get ready! We’re here for you!
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You could've chosen both. These types of posts deeply sadden me.
“God works all for good for those who live Him and are called to His purpose”
Posts like this make me so sad that people still buy into ‘Jesus hates gays’ BS argument that the hateful (mainly American) right invented. Look at the damage it does. Leaving the church (but not Christianity) was one of the best things I’ve done for my own wellbeing. I hope you find your true self and happiness.
I know what you’re feeling, before meeting my husband I had broken up with a guy who I was with for 4 years. You’re allowed to feel the pain and mourn over your relationship. It’s not an easy thing to go through. However, once you have allowed yourself a period to mourn don’t look back. In my experience looking back always always always brings back the pain. (Unless you are reminding yourself of what God did to pull you out of the situation). For now take it day by day. I’m 23 so not that much older than you and I can tell you that there is a Godly man out there for you. After that breakup I prayed for 2 years and was single for those 2 years before meeting my husband. I told God exactly what I wanted and what I didn’t want. This year makes 5 years of being together and in January of next year will make our first wedding anniversary. God has a purpose and a plan for everyone. When you get the chance watch this [video by Jonathan Cahn that talks about how God has a plan and a purpose for your life.](https://youtu.be/xrMUzM5J0Vg?si=KgfEYhwHB4LVUrR7)
(I am assuming you have declared Jesus as your Lord and savior) You're on the right path, sister. Keep praying, reading His word, and worshipping Him. The pain will subside and your heart will be filled with TRUE joy once again. You did the right thing. Do not let the enemy confuse you. God sees your sacrifice and He will bring godly relationships to you. One day, you will hear him say : "Well done my daughter"... and He will wipe away all your tears. Now is the time to grow your faith. Feel free to message me if you'd like. I would love to be your friend =) You are not alone. You have brothers and sisters in Christ too. You've just joined our heavenly family 💗 Psalm 34 1 I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2 My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad. 3 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together. 4 I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. 5 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. 6 This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. 7 The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them. 8 O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. 9 O fear the Lord, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him. 10 The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing. 11 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord. 12 What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? 13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. 14 Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it. 15 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. 16 The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. 17 The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. 18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. 20 He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken. 21 Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate. 22 The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate
I'm not going to preach at you what I believe about homosexuality. Instead, I just want to express that a I'm sorry you're hurting right now. It must be really difficult to end that kind of long and close relationship, and you don't need me to starting going off about what I believe. Just know that it's absolutely normal to hurt, feel angry, feel bad, etc. It's a normal reaction to these kinds of things. You're not bad for feeling this way, you don't need to put any guilt on you for that. God understands you are human, and he loves you regardless. If anything, he likely feels bad with you and wants to comfort you and help you feel better. There's not really any easy way to just get over something like this, unfortunately. It's a process, and it will hurt, but things will get better. I promise. For now, just do what you can and leave the rest to time and God. The only bit of advice I'll give is to not entirely cut people out of your life for God. The first great commandment is to love God, but the second is to love your neighbor. Do what you need to recover from your breakup, but afterwards remember you're not here to *only* show love to God. Above all, I hope you feel better soon, and that something I or someone else here has said has brought you some level of comfort.
Some comments are pretty interesting
The lord will provide you with community. Start attending a church, and join a small group
God bless you
Maybe I miss it but how is he taking it? Did you try to see how God way is better than our way
Think about this way instead of being gay is wrong, think about this : we sin thousands of times a day all but one sin is seen as equal. Lying and being gay is the exact same in gods eyes. God isn’t going to find this one thing about you block you from heaven. God wants you to go to heaven and being gay isn’t preventing its being yourself. A lot of people think hell is some fire pit when it was barely described in the Bible. hell is without god and heaven is with god
I would pray for God to lead me to the people who he wants in my life. To Godly people, not worldly people. People who live by the Bible and know that a sin is a sin no matter which one and won’t judge you for any you commit. People who love you no matter what sins you are fighting. Please cry out to him and hand over all your guilt, shame, and burdens. He will take them and lighten your load and give you endurance for all things that come your way. Pray without ceasing. He will bring you through all things. Ask him for HIS wisdom, not worldly wisdom. God is enough, but we also need a church-which can be made with just two people. Join Christian groups, try to find a small local Bible study group. Walk the narrow path and God will connect you with fellow travelers. Stay strong in your faith and may God bless you ❤️