“That’s just how i roll.”

r/angryupvote

You're a genius.

And yet they can wreck your day if you step on them.

Don't tread on me (a marble)

To be insulted by someone, you have to respect their opinion.

This is an excellent comeback to any insult!

Winner!

"Sounds like you lost yours"

Well, if we’re getting into 3rd grade insults, then you’re as bright as a burned out lightbulb.

And you’re as sharp as a pizza cutter. All edge. Useless until the pizza gets delivered.

You are buying uncut delivery pizza?

I prefer my pizza uncircumcised.

I think of it like this: if you’re going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

I don't like it when people fuck sandwiches.

I think we drink virgin blood because… it sounds cool.

Have you seen the videos of them cutting a strip out then cutting the slices?

They pass the savings on to you

Sharp as a pizza cutter. All edge and useless against someone cooler than you

All edge, no point!

Nah but seriously just use a knife. All pizza cutters accomplish is getting a bunch of pizza junk in the nooks and crannies so they're that much harder to clean.

I prefer kitchen scissors, they cut nice even pieces and I can toss them in the dishwasher, no prob!! !!

Even better.

I'd call you a c*nt, but you lack both warmth and depth.

Damn I'm stealing this for eternity

I really want to down 👎 vote this. But Daaaamn!

“The expression is ‘sharp as a bowling ball.’ I mean Jesus, dude. The bar was on the floor and you brought a shovel.”

"so you take pride in being a prick?"

“Speaking of marbles, did you know your mom can fit both of mine in her mouth? I bet there’s room in there for all six of your nipples.”

"And you have the depth of saran wrap."

That's how I roll, baby

And your favorite color of crayon is "clear."

If you were a spice, you'd be flour.

Marbles are not sharp..idiot

I love this so much. So simple.

And you’re as useful as nipples on a bull.

I prefer "tits on a boar hog." I mean the phrase, not actual boar hog tits.

I'm rubber and you're glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

Yeah? Hope I don't see you around.

At least people like me...

I’m not sure what you mean by that.

*throws marble full force into their forehead, knocks them out.* "You mean deadly as a marble."

“Oh yeah, you have cooties”.

I've always wanted to know, since the first time I saw Grease, what are cooties?

I found this. coot·ie nounINFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN plural noun: cooties 1. a body louse. "it has to be laundered immediately in case of cooties and is then tossed directly into the ironing basket." A body louse. And this. a children's term for an imaginary germ said to have infected a person of the opposite sex or someone considered socially undesirable. "he would run around the playground and chase me around and I thought he had cooties"

Well that clears that up! Thank you!

You want to play with my marbles?

Do an excited little wiggle when you say this

Good idea.

Sharpen a marble and stab them(in the hand).

"You're as round as a knife" "make like a tree, and get outta here! BIFF!" JUST KEEP MISQUOTING BC THEY OBVIOUSLY R NOT "THE SHARPEST KNIFE, IN THE TREE!!!!" LOL

"Haha thanks xD"

And just as hardheaded.

How did you know i was broke?

A Marble A round of glass/Or a slab of stone/Both best revered/From afar and left alone/For when mistreated/It may lose its form/But the vandal is left/With spilt blood and broken bone Edit for unfixable formatting

Marbles, much like shit, rolls downhill..

Ball suckerer huh?

Wait a minute, this whole time you're talking to me?

Marbles are sharp when smashed and I'm always smashing.

And you have mental acumen of a leaf.

And I still roll right over you.

“Wow. Thats rich coming from someone who’s got 2 brain cells that are both fighting for 3rd place.” Or “Next time I wanna know what colour crayon tastes the best I’ll ask. Until then keep it to yourself”

"And twice as delicious." Just a silly, nonsensical thing to say.

"I mean, you would know, you're the original."

you're as polite as a goblin

At least a marble is wanted, unlike you and your opinions!

And you’re bright enough to tread on me

And you're a round as one.

"Yeah a broken marble!!" Either leave it there are awkwardly try to explain. "You know cause their like glass so if you break them in half, or like thirds, or something theyll be all like cutty and pointy on the edges. Maybe quarters yeah quarters are probably better. Yeah I'm sharp like a quarter marble. Sharp broken marbles for the win!! Or maybe you meant marble like the countertop, which again is pretty sharp if you break a flake off. I bet you could like make a knife and skin a walrus or something with it. Or make a spear point. Maybe an arrowhead if you could get a small enough piece. I bet I would kill a leopard and you could use your marble knife to turn it's skin into like clothes. And you could make a belt and sheaf out of the walrus, and go around looking like a badass with your marble knife and arrows. Then all the ladies would think your like Tarzan or something....." Probably at some point before this they'll tell you to shut up. It'll make them fear making statements like that, if you are just going to do your best to prove them right, in the most agonizing way you can.

Okay, I like this one. Not sure if I can think fast enough on my feet to use it, but I’ll try…. You know, cause I’m as sharp as a marble n stuff.

You can also draw it out, and make it worse for them by shutting up for a while then go off about it again, like you've been sitting there thinking about it the whole time, but because you are slow it takes you a while. You can also just wait a bit then hit them with whatever comeback to start with. Thirty seconds later "oh yeah well...." I find playing along with a insult tends to make it not hit as hard.

"Your marbles? That must be a compliment."

Yet you’re using marbles to reach a pedestal.

"same sharpness as a set of fists" "Can't cut, can choke"

You're as smart as a rock 🤣🤣🤣

"You do realize that everyday marbles are made of glass? Here, let me show you..."

"That's an oblique statement"

Thanks boomer.

Thank you, I smashed them into bits and make weapons out of them .

I checked with you former teachers, based on that conversation I have concluded that you are hardly intelligent enough to determine the intelligence of others.

and you're about as useful as the white crayon and as gross as the yellow-green one

"Marbles can cut you when you cause them to finally break." Cue trip to HR.

"A MARBLE??? THAT'S NOT SHARP AT ALL YOU DUMB DUMB!!"

"and you are witty half the time"

Throw me at your glass house and I'll show you sharp...

And you’re about as useful as one

It's not appropriate for you to ask to play with my balls

"You break me, I cut you? That tracks."

Yes still brighter than you!

And you are as round as a tick...because of how much you suck.

Let me just roll away from that original insult Janet. Maybe Google something else to parrot at me tomorrow.

Don’t you mean anal beads? The kind you like?

39 buried….. 0 found……

"And you're dumber than shit." And roll your eyes.

(imitates Steven He's dad) "And you as sharp as a BAR OF *SOAP!"*

And your brain is just as smooth

And at 1500 ft per second it will still cut right thru you

And you're as smooth at a cactus

“You’re pretty high speed yourself”

Like the edge of a rough cut marble countertop in progress? Thanks, those are crazy sharp

That's just a stupid thing to say. Like, how does that help anyone?

Well the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!

"Smoooooooothhheee". 😏

My preferred comeback for any situation is go fuck yourself. Has done me well for 60 yrs.

And you’re as bright as blackout curtains

You say "wow, where the fuck are you getting these digs from"

I’ve always found that a sharp, “Fuck off” works well.

Carry a marble knife and cut a bish.

"You oughta know"

“All I heard was ‘syphilis.’”

“Very original insult. What, do you have a team of monkeys working around the clock?”

“I’ve heard much worse from much better people.”

you are as dull as a spoon

And you could stop a clock

It's called **blunt force damage**, you moron.

Watch this marble shatter your glass ego.

I agree, being stupid is pointless.

And you’re as dense as cement. At least marble has value.

I’d explain to them how inaccurate that statement is, because due to the marvels round shape, it has no sharp edges or points. So they might want to think of another simile.

But your brain on a razor’s edge is like a BB rolling down a 4-lane highway: not too sharp.

“You wouldn’t even know if I insulted you”

I'm going to start using that line.

"Speaking of marble, are you on crack?"

Marbels aren't sharp, dumbass

Marbles can shatter glass if determined. A sharp knife would just chip the sharp end. We serve different purposes.

“…and you’re as bright as a cave in the middle of the night.”

“If you’re going to insult my intelligence, at least put some thought into it”

"Thanks! I like to keep things well-rounded."

And you're the cob.

Ya? Well I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish.

Takes one to know one.

And smooth enough to steal yo girl

I'll bet my brain is smoother than yours

And I’m just as hard

Suck my balls

And you're as smooth as a jagged edge.

“But marbles are round…?”

A marble can still knock you on your ass.

And u r as sharp as pudding

Huh???

And you’re as innovative as a nickle back song

How's the weather in Dumbfuckistan?

Idk what will Michael Che say?

And you are as useful as the doorbell at Helen Kellers house.

and you're very very blunt?

‘your bloodline is cursed. every year your family will ceremoniously and violently rip out each others hair. goodbye.’ usually works for me

Wow, you know marbles aren't sharp, bro. You must be as sharp as a poorly sharpened pencil.

I just kinda hope that nobody ever says that to me.

"Got yer marbles right here." \*grabs crotch\*

“And u aren’t as sharp as a knife”

If you try to break one, you'll find out how sharp it gets

Thanks it just comes naturally or they don't call you the quick one for nothing 

In advance, create a marble dagger and use it to slay them when they taunt you

“Thanks for digging that insult out of a time capsule from 1924”

At least I'm more useful than a sack of assholes...

“And your shrimp is small as mechanical led “

Nothing, fuck their gf instead

"I've been insulted better than that by better than you."

Have you ever been curbstomped on a marble countertop?

"Well aren't you just the sharpest bulb in the box"

“Wow, even a hippo flings less sh- than you!”

Yeah a fuckin broken one, bitch

Your mom likes it when I keep things smooth.

What is it with your family and marbles ? First your mom told me I was sexy as a marble , I'm her sexy marble . Now you ? Are you two playing some sort of prank on me ? Because this is weird.

"You don't know me very well, so your opinion of me has no relevance."

Marbles are sharp if they're launched at high speed.

"And you're as round as one"

Probably just cry

“You can suck on my marble(s) you ‘clever’ fuckwit.”

You're as tacky as fly paper

"And you're so dull, Chef Ramsey couldn't be bothered to make an idiot sandwich out of you."

I envy the people who will never meet you.

“Ok”

And twice as round

Yup a broken one.

Put me in a slingshot to see my accuracy!!

Your daddies penis and balls are as small as a marble!

This coming from the bluntest tool in a bag of spanners

Well you've always got crack a few before you get results.

And rounded as a tack.

"We can either be pretty or smart when we wake up. Today I'm pretty :)"

Why thank you!

Still sharp enough to cut swiss cheese 

"Oh yeah? Wait til you hear what reddit has to say about that!" 🤣

Yeah but I fuck like champ

At least I’m not so old that I use marbles as a reference

And you're as useful as a rock. And as far as I know they break windows and label dead people

"Means im perfect to fit in your windpipe and cut off your air supply"

"You're as clever as fuck you."

Eat a dick.

“And you’re just as round as one”

Wow that is a great joke. The response is your as smooth as 20 grit sand paper

"You're as useful as a marble sharpener "

That's good, because I'm broken

Shows what you know...marbles are round.....