One time when my eldest was young he told me when I died he was going to have me cremated and keep my ashes in his room. But he’d put them on a high shelf, so his little brother couldn’t get into them.
Thanks kid.
When I was 28 and my oldest 7, she told me in despair how she didn't wanna grow up to be an adult because I would be dead. Explaining that I wouldn't even be 40 when she was an adult didn't help lol
My boys both saw that tree pod burial thing that was online for a while a few years ago.
Basically you are placed in a pod with a tree and you fuel the growth for the tree or something. I don't know, it was an interesting idea.
They were roughly 5 and 8 at the time. Cue them arguing over who gets the tree. Then they bargained and decided they'd chop me down. I'd be a bench for one boy and a table for the other. Then they argued about the size of their objects.
I don't even want to be a tree.
I *do* wanna be a tree and my five year old even knows what kind of tree (a weeping Sakura), because I wanted my Monsters to know that death is a natural thing, so we talk about it nonchalantly
My mom always does the same. When she got diagnosed with diabetes she just said, “Well if I’m in end-of-life care and ready to go we can just have a cake and ice cream party so the coma can take me.”
My son tells me that after we die, he's going to save us and bring us back from the dead. Also, occasionally that he's going to die, but then he's going to punch, and he'll be alive again.
It doesn't end when they grow up. When my parents gave me medical power of attorney, I made my dad promise that I could have the hardware in his leg after he's cremated to make a lamp.
What you must understand is that “kids are smart” and “kids are dumb” may sound like contradictory statements, but they are in fact both true simultaneously and at all times.
Kids have a huge capacity to learn and adapt. They're essentially sponges. They lack knowledge, which can lead to bad decisions, but they're quite good at asking and figuring things out.
They're a lvl 1 character with a 300% exp gain bonus.
"lvl 1 character with a 300% exp gain bonus" is a fantastic way of looking at them
I'm 16 years older than my youngest sister so I was able to see her grow and develop.
I think she was two or three and I watched her try to unlock my parents' iPhones, which all had a button at the top and then a swipe to the side to bring up the number pad.
I had an android which obviously had a different process.
She tried to unlock my phone the iPhone way, then realised it wouldn't work like that, then she'd try the other buttons and different gestures. It was a really interesting moment watching her apply previous knowledge to a new situation, learning and adapting.
Think she managed to lock me out of my own phone for about 15 minutes but it was impressive that she got that far.
Man, I cannot believe how quickly my 3yo worked out my phone and iPad. I haven’t even taught her and somehow she figured out how to take photos from the lock screen and force close apps if they freeze. She was still 2 when she figured out scrolling and zooming in and out just from watching me do it while I showed her family photos.
It’s absolutely amazing how quickly they pick stuff up and often without direct teaching.
Sorry for this, but I think you mean the UI and not the OS.
Making a simple, or *intuitive,* to use UI\*
The User Interface is a part of the Operating System and is, in a sense, overlayed on top of the main stack of code that runs the device (the OS). The UI is how a user would directly interact with the underlying OS, and while it can be "simple" to use, it is anything but simple to make an intuitive UI, and a good UI is typically described as an *intuitive* User Interface.
No snark here; I just wanted you to be able to use your terms correctly in the future as it's all quite a lot to learn, and you may need to know the difference someday! Cheers
Going off of what others have said, the OS is like the engine, belts, fuel injection, transmission, and other under-the-hood internals of the car which make it run and do the job it's assigned to do.
The UI is the car's cabin with the steering wheel, pedals, shifter, displays and other buttons and controls. The UI may be simplified for a user of any age, but there's a lot under the hood that needs to be working to make that UI behave as expected.
Kids are literally built to learn by imitation. People forget sometimes how much leading by example matters to them. Kids will almost always pick up their parent’s accent because they are subconsciously imitating them so if you want your young child to speak more, than you have to speak without a baby voice around them.
I know so many parents of young children that are desperatedly trying to get their kids to read a book so they will fianlly learn how to read (and write). and it's not kindergarten childrne, we're talking about 9~10 year olds.
But then I look at their houses and the only books in the whole house are that of the child. Not a single one in any other room. Not even a magazine or smth. Yeah really motivates the child to read if it is all associated with school adn "you have to" ...
Children imitate in the bad ways too. If you never hold a book in your hands, your child might not hold one too for a long time.
Yep! My moms a bookworm, and so was I growing up (still am.)
One of my favourite memories is “I don’t know honey but we can go to the library tomorrow and find out!” And then we did that. And I learned to be critically thinking, to inform myself and it’s ok to not know, bc that’s how we learn, and I love learning all kinds of things.
This shit matters a lot.
It's not all about imitation. Sometimes it's just about making it fun. I didn't have to play with toys for my daughter to want to do so also. If they think it's fun, they just want to. Reading can be the same. Start extremely young and read to them every night, doing the voices and sound effects and just making it a fun experience. Try to cater to what they find entertaining. The love will grow from there.
Exactly! I'm 9 years older than my sister, and it saddens me that she's not a reader. And not just "I don't like reading," she has 0 reading comprehension skills (she's 16). She doesn't get metaphors or foreshadows. She doesn't understand 'reading between the lines' and can't make connections. If it's not blatantly stated, she won't understand and won't read it.
My mom is a single mom, and when my sister was a few years old she had to go back to school to get her Bachelor's (she's an RN supervisor, was already working as a supervisor with an associate's for several years, her job just decided ok! If you want to keep this job you need a bachelor's :) and no other place would take her without a bachelor's), so my sister pretty much spent most of her time at our grandparents where she just lounged around and watch TV with them or played with toys. They didn't read to her. My brother and I were teens at this time and stayed home, so we didn't read to her. My mom was too tired from working, going to school, and maintaining the house to read to her.
When my sister was 11, my mom realized she was struggling understanding anything she read (the PSSA reading sections, she always failed because the answer wasn't blatantly stated). We tried getting her to read, and she just got bored after a single page. I remember my mom sitting in bed and reading a chapter of a book at night to her, at age 11, and trying to get her to understand but she just wasn't having it.
She can only get a few sentences in now before getting bored, so the only things she ever reads now is like Instagram captions. Still 0 reading comprehension skills.
She's touring colleges now, not 100% sure about what she wants to go to college for. She mentioned getting an English degree and I about spat out my drink.
Pretty sure they have taken ipads to kids in remote and impoverished parts of africa who may have seen some cell phones like the big blocky satellite ones, but had no real access to tech on a day to day basis. By the end of the day they were happily using the ipad to access and use various apps. The UI is designed to be simple and intuitive so much so that even some of the most tech illiterate on the planet can easily use them.
That's just good UI design.
Computers were around for decades before becoming somewhat common, but smart phones popped off immediately because basically anyone could use them. There are massive parts of the world that never had internet via anything other than a phone, because non smartphone online use was basically nothing, while a majority of the population had smartphones, even in areas where consistent electricity was a luxury.
Well, in their defense, the starter zone the adults played through was really crude compared to what newer players have, and there's been tons of changes to the game since then, both for the better an worse. The biggest factor, however, might be all the QoL changes and plugins that have been implemented since then. I mean, back then you had to wander all over the barrens, asking other players where Mankrik's Wife might be.
Happy cake day, and yeah they’re absolutely both smart and dumb. Well, more like they don’t know a lot yet but learning stupidly quickly.
And are also very bad at thinking ahead. If a kid decides they want to climb something I doubt they thought about how they were gonna get down once. I would know. I was the kid.
Can confirm. When one of my nieces was younger, she climbed to the top of the cat tree, and wasn't happy when she couldn't figure out how to get back down.
(She was helped down immediately, to be clear.)
A couple months ago I went bouldering at the climbing centre for the first time. That was the day I learned that I, too, will decide to climb something without first thinking about how I’ll get back down. Luckily the floor is soft
Dude, I once dated a single mother who had a baby that was just learning how to walk.
I remember one day walking into the living room and the daughter had torn up a piece of paper into tiny pieces, making a pile of shreds of paper in the middle of the room. Her mother told her, "You made a mess. Now clean it up. Take the paper to the trash can," while pointing at the trash can.
As I was watching this, I thought either the baby would not understand and keep playing with the shredded paper, or she'd pick up fistfuls of shredded paper and walk it over to the trash can over and over.
As I watched the daughter, I could see her look at the trash can, then down at the paper, then back to the trash can. I could *see* the cogs turning in her head. She stood up, wobbled over to the trash can, then *dragged* the trash can over to the shredded paper pile, where she then began to very quickly and efficiently throw away all the paper.
I was awestruck. Like I had just witnessed the first example of a crow using a tool to solve a puzzle. The baby had just gone from being a non-human animal level of consciousness to being, in my view, a small human person.
One of the coolest bits about having kids is watching this all happen. Put a few thoughts into https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1chglnd/kids_these_days/l23822m/
They learn a tremendous about in a crazy short period of time and people hold it against them like it isn’t fast enough.
The cephalopod kid could barely use words a year prior and a year before that had to learn how to use all their muscles and learn to walk. Much less social norms and 1000 other things.
You can almost watch the neural connections happen when they are young. It’s a wild ride.
It's incredible seeing them grow. At certain points it's day by day and week by week with clear things like "you didn't know how to do that a week ago". This is in part that a lot of things require a *bunch* of stuff all at the same time - they *know* words before they can say them, but both things need to happen before they can talk. So there's a sudden explosion as they start to master the physical talking part and can then blast through so many words.
The other thing in my mind right now is the huge difference between *information* and *reasoning*. Calling the octopus a cephalopod sounds fancy but is another word. My 2yo can name the chess pieces but she can't reason through moves in a game, she likes stacking them up. There was a beautiful moment playing with my son where he went from making a move he could do to starting to make a move *stopping* then doing another one because he'd seen what I would do in response.
If you're lucky enough to have the time to play with your kids, make sure you do. It's the best thing I've ever done.
I always remember my daughter was probably not quite two and understood a ton but couldn’t/ wouldn’t talk. She kept asking for something and pointing at the fridge. Then got frustrated and brought me the charlottes web dvd and pointing to the fridge. I was like…”you want…ham?” And she nods her head really emphatically.
So apparently she understood way more than I realized when watching shows.
Kids have incredibly elastic brains and they have an almost superhuman ability to learn new information and skills. They just haven’t learned very much yet. If you had the knowledge of an adult and the brain elasticity of a child, you’d be a genius.
Honestly this applies to adults just as much. It's just much more surface level with kids, but the smartest people you know probably have some batshit insane opinions or beliefs about random things, and some of the dumbest people you know can wow you on also seemingly random things.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobel_disease
One of my best friends at uni went on to become a neuroscientist at some of the most prestigious universities in the world on a variety of extremely prestigious scholarships (so prestigious that he was advised to keep it under wraps to the other researchers).
He once asked me if frogs could bit him while scooping through a pond for frogs (we were drunk)
I mean, he knows he doesn't know frogs, so he asks. For that matter, some frogs can attempt to put your hand in their mouth for a snack, which is kinda like a bite with only funny frog gums.
My younger sister (by 7 years) was one of those dumb-smart children growing up.
My mom managed to teach her and she actually memorized how Solar panels work and how solar ends up being our hot water. It was like a solid 3-4 smart ass sentences she can still recite to this day and she was like 3 maybe, tops.
..she also once microwaved a (metal)pot of food bc “she isn’t allowed to use the stove yet” and also once played “I’m blind you have to guide me” in our way home from a restaurant but didn’t tell anybody so she just closed her eyes while holding my moms hand walking and then just full trust-walked into a pole.
Smart-dumb.
In fact, this never changes, no matter how old a person is. The smartest people can say the dumbest shit, with an equal amount of pride as the examples of this post.
My girlfriend works in a primary school and while I can't remember any of her stories of things the kids have said, *she's* had to say some pretty wacky things before. Things like "Don't bite the Virgin Mary" (the incident with the virgin Mary figure and a four year old with learning difficulties) and "Could we fight the devil with our horses the right way up, please?" (Two reception class girls were playing with hobby horses upside down and when asked what they were doing with them, they insisted they were fighting the devil).
Also there was the time one of the youngest kids was randomly punching a tree, and my girlfriend made a joke about Minecraft as she passed and the kid was amazed she knew what that was - even more so when he found out she remembered when it first released.
It’s funny how our “back in my day” is what Minecraft was like when we first found it. I don’t see Minecraft stopping being a thing that kids will like for a long time.
bc we all feel the urge
a faraway country people tend to forget shows up in the news and something primal in your breast roars to life
within the week you find yourself on the internet learning about different types of sailing ships, and what kind of lumber is available locally
your work begins to suffer but a greater work has begun
your linkedin sheds itself of the burden of your old career and becomes a rallying point for craftsmen, crew, soldiers
thirty months later you finally arrive on the shores of england
soon they will all share your religion or lack thereof
soon they will all be producing goods for you
you have a list in your pocket of better things to rename the country
they think themselves civilised, but soon they will truly be civilized
When my cousin's twins were in primary school, one of them had a "girlfriend". They came to an arrangement where she was allowed to kiss him as long as he can tell her about Minecraft.
The amount of times my kids have explained to me, in detail, how to play games that I both introduced them to and was playing before they were born is absolutely mind numbing.
I used to work at a summer camp and being able to tell the campers I played Minecraft when it was still only in alpha and/or before there were beds was such a fun way to pass the time
I absolutely stunned a group of kids at my new after school job when they found out I knew what pokemon and sonic were. Blew their minds even when I told them I was alive when the first games came out. They threw all their video game references at me since then, though they mostly lost me on fortnight.
I remember years ago when I volunteered at a kindergarten during high school, I had the following exchange with one of the kids:
Kid: 'Do you have a mom?'
Me: 'Yep, everyone has a mom.'
Kid: 'Does she have a knife?'
Me, terrified that this kid is going to say she watched her mom stab someone: '...sometimes, like when she's cooking.'
Kid: 'Okay!' *goes back to coloring*
I had a somewhat similar exchange when working with a child once.
Kid: “Do you have a mom.”
Me: “Yes I do!”
Kid: “Does she wash her hands?”
Me: “Yes. We all should wash our hands so that we don’t get sick.”
Kid: “Is your mom still alive?”
Me: “… yes?”
Kid: “Okay!” (Goes back to playing)
I talked to my supervisor who had more interactions with the kid later. She had apparently been fixated on death for some time.
If I remember correctly, from psychology in college, there is a point in child development where the fact things die and stop existing forever finally sets in and they are able to understand the concept so could be they were just develpmentally at that point
Discovering and understanding death is when I consider myself first coming "online" as a person. Most of my earliest memories involve being kind of obsessed with death. The topic was interesting enough that it made my brain start storing information as memories for the first time.
Death is just sort of everywhere, you're bound to encounter death at some point at a pretty young age. When you make the connection that it'll happen to you, and literally every living thing you know, it's kind of something to grapple with which means asking adults a lot of questions.
And in my case they were probably pretty weird questions because I learned about death before I learned about taboos.
I have a significantly younger brother and once when i came to pick him up from his kindergarten one of the kids told me i can't be his brother because i have a mustach
My parents told me my aunt was my cousin
When I was older I asked why they lied and they were like "well your the same age"
I'm terrified to ask if I was legit that dumb
I have a cousin that's almost 20 years older than I am (my mom is only 8 years older than him) and sometimes he feels more like an uncle than a cousin.
My oldest niece was SHOCKED when I said her mom was my sister. I remember her little eyes bulging and her going, “wait! My mom is your SIIIIIIISTER?” And I went on to explain that yes, she was just like Tia Marie was grandma’s sister. Her world was blown that day.
My niece is pretty mean to her little brother (her only sibling).
She did something particularly mean one day when I was watching them, and I sat her down and got her to look me in the eye.
I asked her, “Did you know I’m your mommy’s big sister?” She nodded her head. “Do you see aunt Burrsugar being mean to Mommy?” She shook her head. “How about Mommy being mean to Aunt Burrsugar?” She shook her head again.
I then asked her, “Don’t you think it’s cool that Mommy and Aunt Burrsugar are friends?” And her eyes got really, really wide, and she gasped, and told me she didn’t know you could be sisters AND friends.
Really took me out haha.
I teach kindergarteners. One day we were talking about families so I shared a picture of mine. I introduce “my little brother,” who has facial hair. Every single student was adamant that he was older than me. They also thought my husband must be my dad because he’s a full foot taller than me.
When I was young, about 4?, my mom and dad had already split but we visited dad on some weekends. He had a girlfriend there, but she had family stuff one weekend so wasn't there, and when we showed up he had a different girl there. He tried to explain to us that she was able to be there because she was a lesbian (she was not, he was cheating) but my child brain just translated that as an ethnicity and I pointed at her arm and asked if that was why her arms were hairy.
I'm not sure my dad got laid that weekend
I mean, that's great, but also, did he think he wouldn't get freaking caught after his ex who could almost guaranteed see through his bs and a child with no filter saw him plainly with a different woman to the one he was dating? Was he that stupid? Could he not possibly keep it in his pants long enough to at least not let his ex see?
I had an uncle who did something similar. The kids kept telling their mom about daddy's friend with red hair. He gaslit her, like actual gaslighting, not just "as a redditor I'm too smart to use the word 'lying'" gaslighting.
He'd do things like hide her car keys, and then when she was an hour late to work and stressed as fuck, he'd put them on a table in plain sight, and use this as evidence to convince her that she couldn't trust her own mind. Actual gaslighting.
He conducted a campaign of attacks on her mental wellbeing and convinced her that the kids were lying and any other evidence she saw was just her mind playing tricks on her, until she had a mental breakdown and ended up in the hospital.
Eventually she figured it out, and there really was a redheaded mistress. They divorced now, and she's doing much better.
Lesbian is an ethnicity, for people from the isle of Lesbos.
Lesbos is where Sappho is from, and that's why the ethnicity of people from Lesbos became a euphenism for wlw. Then it became an official term, as euphenisms often do.
I'm not convinced that the island of Lesbos is quite big and isolated enough to call being from Lesbos an "ethnicity". But to be fair, being greek *would* explain exceptionally hairy arms.
When my little sister was in kindergarten, our mom got a call from one of the teachers one day. She was crying from laughter because when she had asked all the kids there what they wanted to be when they grew up, my little sister had answered -matter-of-factly- "polar bear"
I was volunteering at the school my mum worked at, and a bunch of the kids looked between baby faced 15 year old me, and my 42 year old mum, and asked ‘which one of you’s older?’
They thought we were sisters.
Kids are so funny fr
I'm 6'4 (193 cm). There are two types of people: shorter than me, and oh fuck you're my height or taller. One guy once solemnly asked me if I thought less of him because of his height and I had to tell him I didn't have a damn clue how tall he was. He was 5'8.
My dad would fall into the “oh fuck you’re my height or taller” category, and this is so real. One time he described his friend’s wife as being really tiny like me. I pointed out that I’m 5’6 and he was like “oh, she’s probably a lot shorter than you then.”
I'm 6'1 and have the same issue. If anyone is below 5'11, they're short and all the same height. 5'11 to 6'4 is normal size and all the same
I was hanging out with a buddy and casually mentioned he was taller than me. Super confused, he made me getup to show me he is 5'11. I was so confused and upset, I've known this dude for like a year and always believed he was taller
I have told a 5'1 person she was clearly taller than a 5'5 person. They both looked at me like I was stupid, stood side by side, and I indeed felt stupid
I told a 5'5 man he was clearly taller than my 5'8 friend, and told that friend he was taller than a 5'6 girl. So they all lined up for me
Kid I used to babysit, the highlights:
“I know a rude word! It’s a very rude word and I’ll get in trouble for saying it. BUTTOCKS!!!”
To my sister- “when I’m big like you, will you marry me?” She was 12 lol.
“If I ate 100 apples would I die or would I turn into a tree?”
After his dad corrected his spelling, running off shouting “I’M A FAILURE!”
“Why does your jacket look like Tom Jones?” About my shitty pleather bike jacket I thought was the height of sophistication.
The absolute GOAT:
While wearing a sparkly dress and heels he stole from my room, twirling a handbag and sashaying around the living room: “Ooh la la, I’m a French woman, advertising L’Oreal Paris.”
Man, kids are something else!
Honestly I wish I knew. What made it even funnier was the younger kid rolling his eyes and saying “Alex is very dramatic” in the voice of someone who regularly has his life interrupted by his brother’s shenanigans.
Christ, they’re all adults now. Suddenly I feel very old.
No, because piranhas eat by taking tiny, fast nips with sharp teeth (rip and tear method in miniature). These tiny nips, regardless of their teeth sharpness, wouldn't be sufficient to cronch the material of a stapler, whether metal or plastic.
Additionally, they wouldn't be tempted to try because piranhas are only interested in flesh / meat - it would be like trying to convince a spider to be vegetarian
~* EDIT *~
I have since learned that while piranhas would certainly not be interesting in nomming on a stapler, they *are* interested in food other than meat
Also
There is in fact a vegetarian spider! My mind has been blown xD
~* END EDIT *~
Hope this helps! :)
Piranhas are omnivores, not the hypercanivorous MurderFish™️ you see on TV. Most of the species that do primarily attack other fish usually are more interested in scales than meat.
Many spiders do supplement their diet with pollen and nectar, and the species Bagheera kiplingi is even the first known spider to be primarily herbivorous!
No animal can eat a stapler.
I just looked up bagheera kiplingi as I'd never heard of them before - that's a cute spider! And very interesting to learn about :)
I knew piranha weren't "hypercanivorous MurderFish™️" (this is a great description, ha) but I didn't know about them eating plant matter until today, so that's two things I've learned due to you~
Thank you!
>No animal can eat a stapler.
Are we defining "eat" as "consume for nutritional benefit" here? 'cause I'm pretty sure a lot of animals could eat a stapler in the sense that they can swallow one or chomp it apart.
I have _seen_ a goat eat one of those small staplers kids took to school in their pencil cases. It's owner didn't even seem that worried; more exasperated than anything, really.
When I was younger my parents were friends with two other families who each had daughters roughly around my age, both named Amber. I was friends with these girls and played with them a lot, as did my little brother (about 6 or 7 at the time).
One day my brother started talking about one of the Amber's to my mum and she asks which Amber he's talking about.
"The evil one"
Funnily enough, we knew instantly which Amber he was referring to 😂 she wasn't "evil" but she could be pretty loud and in-your-face and my brother had sensory issues due to autism.
We're still friends with Evil Amber's family and she's still jokingly known as Evil Amber by all of us.
We grew apart as we grew older and my parents bought a house in a different town 🤷♀️
So now there's only one Amber that we're close with and we *still* call her Evil Amber, haha! 😆
One of my standout memories of my youth (around preteen age) was when I was at the supermarket with my mom and waiting for her to pay for the stuff. There was a display full of My Little Pony merchandise I was staring at and this other kid who was, idk maybe 5 walked up and stood next to me.
I wanted to appear cool to this 5 year old I guess, wanted to strike common ground because I felt awkward being caught looking at the MLP stuff. This was shortly after the episode "Magical Mystery Cure" aired (the one where Twilight Sparkle gets her wings) so I turn to this 5 year old and say "Wow, I can't believe Twilight Sparkle is one of those winged unicorn princesses now!"
I assumed because this girl was 5, she didn't know the official word for winged unicorns they use in MLP.
This kid, this 5 YEAR OLD, turns to me with the most disgusted look and snobbily says "Um, actually she's an ALICORN." like she was embarrassed that I got the word wrong.
I got fucking "Fandom Person Correcting a Normie" by a 5 year old.
I told my 8 year old student I was 29. She said she thought I was 60. My 62-year old colleague overheard her and asked her how old she thought he was. She said 60 again
I'll find any excuse to gush about this thing my niece did so long ago when she was 5/6.
I went back to my village in india to visit family. There were a lot of kids this time around and like the whole of my street pretty much belongs to my relatives. so I went to my cousin's house (two houses over from mine) for dinner.
I was helping my niece with her homework. and then there was a power cut (kinda frequent where we were) so went outside and where there was some natural light left so she could continue. But it was the evening. And once the sun starts setting the mosquitos come out. and yeah within a few minutes there were a lot of mosquitos.
I was an idiot and wore a singlet during all this. my niece was coming down with a cold so she was wearing a jacket. so while I was slapping my skin absentmindedly every few seconds while trying to teach her, she takes off her jacket. and I was like "put that back on there are so many mosquitos" and she's like "I know. now they won't just bite you."
She's such a sweetheart I love her so much. Anyways I brought her inside and we waited til the power came back to do her homework
Recently moved out of my parents’ house for uni, my sister (16 years old) asked if she could move into my room since it’s bigger and I’ll barely be around, i said yes and she switched our stuff between the rooms.
Anyways, I visited last week and my 5 year old brother came up to me first thing and went “[sister] stole your room, i helped her”. Thanks for the heads up buddy.
My sister used to be a teacher and has told me all kinds of stories.
One summer she was subbing for a computer class for first graders, and noticed a boy and girl talking to each other, and the girl was getting upset. So she walks over. As she gets near, the little girl turns around and says angrily “Teacher, he says I’m poop!”
Well, this was a little brown girl and a little white boy, so my sister gears herself up for the worst, but the boy turns around and puts his hands up in a great shrug with a grave shake of his head. “Everybody knows it,” he says. “All babies come out the poop chute. There are no exceptions.”
And the little girl goes “I’m not POOP!” and cries.
A few weeks ago, I was playing with my 6 yo cousin and I mentioned I was going to have a coffee and she stared at me in shock.
"Cousins are allowed to drink coffee???" As if there was some sort of law forbidding you to drink coffee if you happend to be someone's cousin.
When I was a kid I remember getting called to the office, pretty sure my teacher could tell I was nervous as all get out cause she reassured me that it wasn't for anything bad but that didn't help cause I spent the whole walking down there thinking I unknowing bullied someone.
Come to find out, they wanted to praise me for something, and I was so mad cause I thought you should only get called to the office whenever you've been bad.
Also, I thought I couldn't cry in school or else I'd be bullied, plus for about a day I was convinced that I was a sociopath cause I read where one of the characters was a sociopath and the two reasons how the character knew was one couldn't feel emotions and two hated looking people I'm the eyes.
Well, I could feel emotions, but I hated/hate looking people in the eyes.
About the last one, my nephew was three years old when I asked him what his favorite dinosaur was. I was expecting “Barney” or maybe “T-Rex” but this dude casually said Parasaurolophus. I was speechless for a second lol. I had to ask him to repeat himself, and he did. Parasaurolophus. My lil dude, what in the 😭
I’m pretty sure you need at least two years of university-level paleontology study before you can reliably equal the dinosaur knowledge of the average three year old.
Can relate, my Niece is the same way. She can tell you everything you need to know about dinosaurs. Her mom and her mom's housemate both have Dinosaur's as a special interest, and she routinely corrects them. She even knows what dinosaur like creatures aren't actually dinos and are instead flying or marine reptiles, or other similar creatures lol.
When I was in kindergarten my (wonderful) teacher would go through the alphabet and have a few of us give examples of a word for each letter that she would write on a whiteboard, and then go over the list with us. When she got to P everyone else said things like pig, pink, or pet, and then came me with Parasaurolophus. She thought I made it up even though I knew exactly how to spell it so she didn’t put it on the board, and I brought my dinosaur encyclopedia to school the next day to prove her wrong lol. She told my mom about it practically in tears laughing, and that day Parasaurolophus went up on the board.
A colleague shared the story how a little girl in her neighbourhood (around 4 yrs) asked her boyfriend if he had a small penis as well.
The aftermath was hilarious
Im fairly certain the piranha kids thought process went like:
See piranhas being a threat in a cartoon -> piranha is now considered Something To Watch Out For -> if a piranha was here, how could I defeat it? -> the most dangerous thing nearby is a stapler -> wait but piranhas are reeeeeally good at eating, uh oh -> can a piranha eat a stapler, rendering me helpless in case of a piranha attack?
Aww these are cute. My nanny kids remind me every day that my mom is dead and then laugh about it. Because sometimes kids are not just blunt out of curiosity. Assholes 😂 love them so much though
When my nephew was 3, we were at the Botanic Garden, and he pointed to the rare plant conservatory and said “that’s where the dead people go.” We hadn’t said the word conservatory, so he wasn’t confusing it with cemetery (and I’m not sure if he knew cemetery at that age either). It was pretty creepy.
I once proudly told my class that we have a second brain in our vagina when we were sharing fun facts, because my dad told me about the nervous system in our digestive track, and I mixed up stomachs and vaginas lmao.
I will share my own story.
When i was starting my tenth grade year my little sister (6) was starting first grade. She had been to PreK and Kindergarten, but i assume she thought of it more as play dates than school.
Well i go to wake her up for school and start the whole morning routine (time to shower, brush teeth etc etc). She is Super Excited and as a big brother (who was burnt out on school by this point) it was cute to see the kid super happy. she has her brand new baby shark backpack on and she is literally kicking my seat in excitement as we drive to drop her off (lived in country). Well i drop her off and head to school. Fast forward i leave early to pick her up. She is extremely happy. She is just bubbly and laughing from all the fun she had. I asked if she enjoyed it and ahe just rambled for 20 minutes about how great school WAS.
The next day i go to start the routine again (ugh) and she wakes up super groggy. She doesn't understand what's happening.
I said "lets go time for school"
she says "what do you mean? Go back? I finished."
I said " you finished your first day, gotta go finish the school year."
she yells "I HAVE TO GO FOR A WHOLE YEAR!?" "IS THAT WHERE YOU GO EVERY DAY????"
I said "yes"
She says "how long do i have to be in school?"
I say "about 12 years but you get the summers off, now come on you wasting time."
She goes "12 YEARS? I'LL BE OLD AND DEAD BY THEN!"
In response i threw her towel at her lol. Still one the greatest things i will remember is her look of disbelief, shock, and anger for that first week lol. She was so mad at our dad for not warning her.
Teaching ESL kids is the best because you sometimes get \*amazing\* mistakes.
One time I was teaching a 7 year old the months in English and she repeated "October, November, Dismember!" and I was useless for 5 minutes.
At dinner with friends a few weeks ago and one our friends had this milkshake and she’s says something like “This is the best milk shake in the world!” My daughter looks at her, and goes “No, it’s not. That’s hyperbole!”
And then announced loudly that she had to “peepee right now, because she never used the potty at this place before.
I teach kids in aikido, and have since I was 14 (so for 10 years now)
One kid, who was a notorious little shit (love her though), was astonished when I called her on doing something I'd specifically JUST told her not to do (which could have gotten her partner hurt), so I may have sounded a little sharp about it.
Kid: "do you have children?"
Me: "what? No I dont"
Kid: "oh, you seem like a mother. Like, you have eyes on the back of your head! And you talk like a mom"
Me: "... well... I've been teaching you kids for a long long time."
I Also gave recently been called mom on accident, broke character, and started giggling in front of the whole class mid-demonstration (so it wasn't like only a few kids were witness)
When my daughter was four, she came up to me and said she wanted some candy, to feed the birds. I told her that birds don’t like candy, but we could go to the store, and get some bird seed. Noooo, she *needed* to feed them candy. When asked why she thought the birds would want candy, she replied, “hummingbirds eat sugary fluids, they might want a snack.”
My mom had a friend with twin boys who were about 5 years younger than me. I saw them probably about once a month from the time they were born. One time when I was 11 or so they told their teacher they were going to see me later that day, and that I was 40 years old. Their mom was telling me about that and we asked them how old they thought my mom was. They said 12. They proved this by pointing at her feet, then moving their finger up to her head while counting to 12.
I worked as a teacher's aide in a pre school for a while. One day a had a kid ask if he could tell me a secret. Horrified at what he might potentially tell me that would warrant a CPS call or something, I leaned in as he whispered "^did ^you ^know ^that ^I'm ^Black?"
I was infact aware that he was Black lol
One interaction I still have no idea what was the thought process behind it was with my 4 year old nephew. One day he saw me with a t-shirt with Homer Simpson on it, asked who he was, and I said his name. The one question he immediately thought to ask was "Who's his friend?" I was so unprepared for that I had no idea how to answer so I just said he's Bart, Lisa and Maggie's dad.
I'm currently a student teacher, in my last semester of grad school. The first day at my new school, one of the 1st graders looked me up and down, and I *think* was trying to sus out how old I was. I'm 26, and super young looking, but I also have a beard and mustache. Looking to resolve this, this kid goes "...are you married?"
Made me laugh so hard. No, little one, I'm not married, I hope that helps your little brain figure out what category of adult to put me in
My 6 yr old daughter brought home a library book on sea turtles. It has a page on reproduction which mentions males provide the semen to fertilize the eggs which the female carries inside of her. She stopped me from reading and says, “I am going to tell Aiden (her classmate that she is convinced she will marry) to give me his semen so I can make babies”.
I asked when she thought she would be ready to have babies. “Next week, I have lots to do this week”, She replied.
The plural of octopus is octopuses. -ii is a Latin ending and octopus is a Greek word. Words gain English plurals if they're not Latin in origin, hence octopuses, but if you want to bend that rule because it's classical Greek, the plural is octopodes (pronounced ok-top-o-dees). Second octopus fact!
My little cousins who are twins ask me every time I see them whether Im a boy or girl, when I say neither they call me a "booger" because it sounds like boygirl and find it hilarious
I used to work at a residential type school for kids with autism, behavior issues, etc.
One day, an older kid (14 ish) asked a coworker if he had a brother, followed up with "so is he in college or is he dead?"
As if those were the only two options when you grow up lol
My sister convinced a few of her friends in class to do the mewing meme thing where you slide a finger across your jawline during the graduation (i think) celebration video
When I was a kid, I apparently described my (18 year old) cousin as "sort of a kid, but really a men" when asked if he could still sit at the kids table.
I had a little girl from my mum’s daycare come up to me and tell me she liked my hair and I looked just like a princess. And I was like “aww thanks sweetie that’s nice of you to say”
She stood there for a sec and stuck her lip out and then said “Well? Don’t you have anything to say to me?” and tossed her hair over her shoulder 💀
Saw a little boy on the bus who was proudly reading the numbers off other buses as they passed by: "Six ... nine ... twenty-seven ... eighty-six ..." and then a bus numbered "5X" came by.
Boy: "Five ... ? What's that?"
His mom: "That's the bus number."
Boy: "X is a number now?"
You could just hear his understanding of the world comes crashing down.
These questions are awesome because they either show care for another human (allbeit in the confines of a small kid's world view) or because they want to learn.
As an elementary school teacher myself I love these. Ask me everything, and even if I have the shittiest of shit days, we'll get to the bottom of it and find an answer for you, kid!
When I first started working at the elementary school I do now, streaks of my hair were dyed blue. A few weeks ago I decided to dye them red instead and one of the kids asked "How did you change your hair color?". Little guy must have thought my hair was naturally blue
I had a beard for most of my son's life and shaved it when he was about 5. He told me I couldn't be his dad anymore because I looked like a little kid and little kids can't be dads.
My kids and I were driving in Detroit and we passed under a bridge where there were lots of fat pigeons. My 6 year old was amazed to see them. I said "it's really not that unusual, there are pigeons everywhere." He stared out the window for a second, nodded sagely, and concluded, "the world is made of pigeons."
One time when my eldest was young he told me when I died he was going to have me cremated and keep my ashes in his room. But he’d put them on a high shelf, so his little brother couldn’t get into them. Thanks kid.
My brother told my mum that when she was dead he was going to treasure her bones.
Giving Mom the reliquary treatment
That’s one interpretation of Psycho
[удалено]
I see a holy war spreading across the universe like unquenchable fire. Fanatical legions worshiping at the shelf of my mother’s bones.
Mm calcium
Uncharted 8
My young daughter will occasionally ask her mom if she can have various clothes when she (her mom) dies. We're only in our mid-30s!
Mid-30s? Basically fossils.
When I was 28 and my oldest 7, she told me in despair how she didn't wanna grow up to be an adult because I would be dead. Explaining that I wouldn't even be 40 when she was an adult didn't help lol
My boys both saw that tree pod burial thing that was online for a while a few years ago. Basically you are placed in a pod with a tree and you fuel the growth for the tree or something. I don't know, it was an interesting idea. They were roughly 5 and 8 at the time. Cue them arguing over who gets the tree. Then they bargained and decided they'd chop me down. I'd be a bench for one boy and a table for the other. Then they argued about the size of their objects. I don't even want to be a tree.
bustin a modified giving-tree move…
I *do* wanna be a tree and my five year old even knows what kind of tree (a weeping Sakura), because I wanted my Monsters to know that death is a natural thing, so we talk about it nonchalantly
My mom always does the same. When she got diagnosed with diabetes she just said, “Well if I’m in end-of-life care and ready to go we can just have a cake and ice cream party so the coma can take me.”
My son tells me that after we die, he's going to save us and bring us back from the dead. Also, occasionally that he's going to die, but then he's going to punch, and he'll be alive again.
It doesn't end when they grow up. When my parents gave me medical power of attorney, I made my dad promise that I could have the hardware in his leg after he's cremated to make a lamp.
Sounds like a steampunk Lampoon leg lamp. I like you.
The vision is pretty much like "hey, nice lamp!" "Thanks, it was my dad" "aw, is it a family heirloom?" "....you could say that"
Morbid, but wholesome.
What you must understand is that “kids are smart” and “kids are dumb” may sound like contradictory statements, but they are in fact both true simultaneously and at all times.
Kids have a huge capacity to learn and adapt. They're essentially sponges. They lack knowledge, which can lead to bad decisions, but they're quite good at asking and figuring things out. They're a lvl 1 character with a 300% exp gain bonus.
"lvl 1 character with a 300% exp gain bonus" is a fantastic way of looking at them I'm 16 years older than my youngest sister so I was able to see her grow and develop. I think she was two or three and I watched her try to unlock my parents' iPhones, which all had a button at the top and then a swipe to the side to bring up the number pad. I had an android which obviously had a different process. She tried to unlock my phone the iPhone way, then realised it wouldn't work like that, then she'd try the other buttons and different gestures. It was a really interesting moment watching her apply previous knowledge to a new situation, learning and adapting. Think she managed to lock me out of my own phone for about 15 minutes but it was impressive that she got that far.
Man, I cannot believe how quickly my 3yo worked out my phone and iPad. I haven’t even taught her and somehow she figured out how to take photos from the lock screen and force close apps if they freeze. She was still 2 when she figured out scrolling and zooming in and out just from watching me do it while I showed her family photos. It’s absolutely amazing how quickly they pick stuff up and often without direct teaching.
That and also praise to the devs who made a simple OS kids and anyone can use tbf
Sorry for this, but I think you mean the UI and not the OS. Making a simple, or *intuitive,* to use UI\* The User Interface is a part of the Operating System and is, in a sense, overlayed on top of the main stack of code that runs the device (the OS). The UI is how a user would directly interact with the underlying OS, and while it can be "simple" to use, it is anything but simple to make an intuitive UI, and a good UI is typically described as an *intuitive* User Interface. No snark here; I just wanted you to be able to use your terms correctly in the future as it's all quite a lot to learn, and you may need to know the difference someday! Cheers
Going off of what others have said, the OS is like the engine, belts, fuel injection, transmission, and other under-the-hood internals of the car which make it run and do the job it's assigned to do. The UI is the car's cabin with the steering wheel, pedals, shifter, displays and other buttons and controls. The UI may be simplified for a user of any age, but there's a lot under the hood that needs to be working to make that UI behave as expected.
Kids are literally built to learn by imitation. People forget sometimes how much leading by example matters to them. Kids will almost always pick up their parent’s accent because they are subconsciously imitating them so if you want your young child to speak more, than you have to speak without a baby voice around them.
I know so many parents of young children that are desperatedly trying to get their kids to read a book so they will fianlly learn how to read (and write). and it's not kindergarten childrne, we're talking about 9~10 year olds. But then I look at their houses and the only books in the whole house are that of the child. Not a single one in any other room. Not even a magazine or smth. Yeah really motivates the child to read if it is all associated with school adn "you have to" ... Children imitate in the bad ways too. If you never hold a book in your hands, your child might not hold one too for a long time.
Yep! My moms a bookworm, and so was I growing up (still am.) One of my favourite memories is “I don’t know honey but we can go to the library tomorrow and find out!” And then we did that. And I learned to be critically thinking, to inform myself and it’s ok to not know, bc that’s how we learn, and I love learning all kinds of things. This shit matters a lot.
It's not all about imitation. Sometimes it's just about making it fun. I didn't have to play with toys for my daughter to want to do so also. If they think it's fun, they just want to. Reading can be the same. Start extremely young and read to them every night, doing the voices and sound effects and just making it a fun experience. Try to cater to what they find entertaining. The love will grow from there.
Exactly! I'm 9 years older than my sister, and it saddens me that she's not a reader. And not just "I don't like reading," she has 0 reading comprehension skills (she's 16). She doesn't get metaphors or foreshadows. She doesn't understand 'reading between the lines' and can't make connections. If it's not blatantly stated, she won't understand and won't read it. My mom is a single mom, and when my sister was a few years old she had to go back to school to get her Bachelor's (she's an RN supervisor, was already working as a supervisor with an associate's for several years, her job just decided ok! If you want to keep this job you need a bachelor's :) and no other place would take her without a bachelor's), so my sister pretty much spent most of her time at our grandparents where she just lounged around and watch TV with them or played with toys. They didn't read to her. My brother and I were teens at this time and stayed home, so we didn't read to her. My mom was too tired from working, going to school, and maintaining the house to read to her. When my sister was 11, my mom realized she was struggling understanding anything she read (the PSSA reading sections, she always failed because the answer wasn't blatantly stated). We tried getting her to read, and she just got bored after a single page. I remember my mom sitting in bed and reading a chapter of a book at night to her, at age 11, and trying to get her to understand but she just wasn't having it. She can only get a few sentences in now before getting bored, so the only things she ever reads now is like Instagram captions. Still 0 reading comprehension skills. She's touring colleges now, not 100% sure about what she wants to go to college for. She mentioned getting an English degree and I about spat out my drink.
It’s just intuitive for us to touch things and make them go weee
Pretty sure they have taken ipads to kids in remote and impoverished parts of africa who may have seen some cell phones like the big blocky satellite ones, but had no real access to tech on a day to day basis. By the end of the day they were happily using the ipad to access and use various apps. The UI is designed to be simple and intuitive so much so that even some of the most tech illiterate on the planet can easily use them.
That's just good UI design. Computers were around for decades before becoming somewhat common, but smart phones popped off immediately because basically anyone could use them. There are massive parts of the world that never had internet via anything other than a phone, because non smartphone online use was basically nothing, while a majority of the population had smartphones, even in areas where consistent electricity was a luxury.
And because of that xp gain they can often outclass adults if they choose a skill tree that adults neglected to nurture
I'm sure most adults also had some insane maxxed out skills when they were younger, but that gradual skill loss over time is a bitch to overcome.
Well, in their defense, the starter zone the adults played through was really crude compared to what newer players have, and there's been tons of changes to the game since then, both for the better an worse. The biggest factor, however, might be all the QoL changes and plugins that have been implemented since then. I mean, back then you had to wander all over the barrens, asking other players where Mankrik's Wife might be.
What kind of animal is a sponge?
Happy cake day, and yeah they’re absolutely both smart and dumb. Well, more like they don’t know a lot yet but learning stupidly quickly. And are also very bad at thinking ahead. If a kid decides they want to climb something I doubt they thought about how they were gonna get down once. I would know. I was the kid.
Can confirm. When one of my nieces was younger, she climbed to the top of the cat tree, and wasn't happy when she couldn't figure out how to get back down. (She was helped down immediately, to be clear.)
Man I really thought she was still up there
A couple months ago I went bouldering at the climbing centre for the first time. That was the day I learned that I, too, will decide to climb something without first thinking about how I’ll get back down. Luckily the floor is soft
Dude, I once dated a single mother who had a baby that was just learning how to walk. I remember one day walking into the living room and the daughter had torn up a piece of paper into tiny pieces, making a pile of shreds of paper in the middle of the room. Her mother told her, "You made a mess. Now clean it up. Take the paper to the trash can," while pointing at the trash can. As I was watching this, I thought either the baby would not understand and keep playing with the shredded paper, or she'd pick up fistfuls of shredded paper and walk it over to the trash can over and over. As I watched the daughter, I could see her look at the trash can, then down at the paper, then back to the trash can. I could *see* the cogs turning in her head. She stood up, wobbled over to the trash can, then *dragged* the trash can over to the shredded paper pile, where she then began to very quickly and efficiently throw away all the paper. I was awestruck. Like I had just witnessed the first example of a crow using a tool to solve a puzzle. The baby had just gone from being a non-human animal level of consciousness to being, in my view, a small human person.
One of the coolest bits about having kids is watching this all happen. Put a few thoughts into https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1chglnd/kids_these_days/l23822m/
They learn a tremendous about in a crazy short period of time and people hold it against them like it isn’t fast enough. The cephalopod kid could barely use words a year prior and a year before that had to learn how to use all their muscles and learn to walk. Much less social norms and 1000 other things. You can almost watch the neural connections happen when they are young. It’s a wild ride.
It's incredible seeing them grow. At certain points it's day by day and week by week with clear things like "you didn't know how to do that a week ago". This is in part that a lot of things require a *bunch* of stuff all at the same time - they *know* words before they can say them, but both things need to happen before they can talk. So there's a sudden explosion as they start to master the physical talking part and can then blast through so many words. The other thing in my mind right now is the huge difference between *information* and *reasoning*. Calling the octopus a cephalopod sounds fancy but is another word. My 2yo can name the chess pieces but she can't reason through moves in a game, she likes stacking them up. There was a beautiful moment playing with my son where he went from making a move he could do to starting to make a move *stopping* then doing another one because he'd seen what I would do in response. If you're lucky enough to have the time to play with your kids, make sure you do. It's the best thing I've ever done.
I always remember my daughter was probably not quite two and understood a ton but couldn’t/ wouldn’t talk. She kept asking for something and pointing at the fridge. Then got frustrated and brought me the charlottes web dvd and pointing to the fridge. I was like…”you want…ham?” And she nods her head really emphatically. So apparently she understood way more than I realized when watching shows.
Kids have incredibly elastic brains and they have an almost superhuman ability to learn new information and skills. They just haven’t learned very much yet. If you had the knowledge of an adult and the brain elasticity of a child, you’d be a genius.
Honestly this applies to adults just as much. It's just much more surface level with kids, but the smartest people you know probably have some batshit insane opinions or beliefs about random things, and some of the dumbest people you know can wow you on also seemingly random things. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobel_disease
One of my best friends at uni went on to become a neuroscientist at some of the most prestigious universities in the world on a variety of extremely prestigious scholarships (so prestigious that he was advised to keep it under wraps to the other researchers). He once asked me if frogs could bit him while scooping through a pond for frogs (we were drunk)
I mean, he knows he doesn't know frogs, so he asks. For that matter, some frogs can attempt to put your hand in their mouth for a snack, which is kinda like a bite with only funny frog gums.
Schroedingers kid?
Schrökinder
My younger sister (by 7 years) was one of those dumb-smart children growing up. My mom managed to teach her and she actually memorized how Solar panels work and how solar ends up being our hot water. It was like a solid 3-4 smart ass sentences she can still recite to this day and she was like 3 maybe, tops. ..she also once microwaved a (metal)pot of food bc “she isn’t allowed to use the stove yet” and also once played “I’m blind you have to guide me” in our way home from a restaurant but didn’t tell anybody so she just closed her eyes while holding my moms hand walking and then just full trust-walked into a pole. Smart-dumb.
In fact, this never changes, no matter how old a person is. The smartest people can say the dumbest shit, with an equal amount of pride as the examples of this post.
Ignorance and stupidity are not the same thing.
An intelligent mind doing its best with largely incomplete data.
My girlfriend works in a primary school and while I can't remember any of her stories of things the kids have said, *she's* had to say some pretty wacky things before. Things like "Don't bite the Virgin Mary" (the incident with the virgin Mary figure and a four year old with learning difficulties) and "Could we fight the devil with our horses the right way up, please?" (Two reception class girls were playing with hobby horses upside down and when asked what they were doing with them, they insisted they were fighting the devil). Also there was the time one of the youngest kids was randomly punching a tree, and my girlfriend made a joke about Minecraft as she passed and the kid was amazed she knew what that was - even more so when he found out she remembered when it first released.
It’s funny how our “back in my day” is what Minecraft was like when we first found it. I don’t see Minecraft stopping being a thing that kids will like for a long time.
The children yearn for the mines
_The mines were roaring_
It satisfies primal needs, like exploration, creation and colonialism! (/s on colonialism being a primal need)
The children yearn for the mines
Ehhh you probably don't even have to put that "/s".
bc we all feel the urge a faraway country people tend to forget shows up in the news and something primal in your breast roars to life within the week you find yourself on the internet learning about different types of sailing ships, and what kind of lumber is available locally your work begins to suffer but a greater work has begun your linkedin sheds itself of the burden of your old career and becomes a rallying point for craftsmen, crew, soldiers thirty months later you finally arrive on the shores of england soon they will all share your religion or lack thereof soon they will all be producing goods for you you have a list in your pocket of better things to rename the country they think themselves civilised, but soon they will truly be civilized
....I think that's just a you thing, dude But I like hitting my head on things because it tastes like batteries, so I'm not judging
When my cousin's twins were in primary school, one of them had a "girlfriend". They came to an arrangement where she was allowed to kiss him as long as he can tell her about Minecraft.
I work as a camp counselor and I often tell kids I’ve been playing Minecraft longer than they’ve been alive
Looking at my cousin's son and thinking "my beard is older than this kid" was a wild realization
The amount of times my kids have explained to me, in detail, how to play games that I both introduced them to and was playing before they were born is absolutely mind numbing.
Brothers of the mine, rejoice!
SWING SWING SWING WITH ME
Raise your picks and raise your voice!
SING SING SING WITH ME !
I used to work at a summer camp and being able to tell the campers I played Minecraft when it was still only in alpha and/or before there were beds was such a fun way to pass the time
I absolutely stunned a group of kids at my new after school job when they found out I knew what pokemon and sonic were. Blew their minds even when I told them I was alive when the first games came out. They threw all their video game references at me since then, though they mostly lost me on fortnight.
I remember years ago when I volunteered at a kindergarten during high school, I had the following exchange with one of the kids: Kid: 'Do you have a mom?' Me: 'Yep, everyone has a mom.' Kid: 'Does she have a knife?' Me, terrified that this kid is going to say she watched her mom stab someone: '...sometimes, like when she's cooking.' Kid: 'Okay!' *goes back to coloring*
I had a somewhat similar exchange when working with a child once. Kid: “Do you have a mom.” Me: “Yes I do!” Kid: “Does she wash her hands?” Me: “Yes. We all should wash our hands so that we don’t get sick.” Kid: “Is your mom still alive?” Me: “… yes?” Kid: “Okay!” (Goes back to playing) I talked to my supervisor who had more interactions with the kid later. She had apparently been fixated on death for some time.
If I remember correctly, from psychology in college, there is a point in child development where the fact things die and stop existing forever finally sets in and they are able to understand the concept so could be they were just develpmentally at that point
Discovering and understanding death is when I consider myself first coming "online" as a person. Most of my earliest memories involve being kind of obsessed with death. The topic was interesting enough that it made my brain start storing information as memories for the first time. Death is just sort of everywhere, you're bound to encounter death at some point at a pretty young age. When you make the connection that it'll happen to you, and literally every living thing you know, it's kind of something to grapple with which means asking adults a lot of questions. And in my case they were probably pretty weird questions because I learned about death before I learned about taboos.
Kris and Toriel lore
>'Yep, everyone has a mom.' I can't believe you'd spread misinformation to children
Kindergarteners are too young to learn about mpreg.
Expertly executed parry and riposte there. That'll do some good psychic damage.
The overall context scares me, but what is mpreg?
It’s short for “male pregnancy”. The term is pretty much only used in kink/fantasy contexts.
Also two Star Trek episodes
We already said kink/fantasy concepts there’s no need to just say the same thing
Male pregnancy. It's a fetish
I have a significantly younger brother and once when i came to pick him up from his kindergarten one of the kids told me i can't be his brother because i have a mustach
My cousin once told me we couldn't be cousins cause I'm a grown up.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can continue on with not being their cousin anymore.
My parents told me my aunt was my cousin When I was older I asked why they lied and they were like "well your the same age" I'm terrified to ask if I was legit that dumb
I have a cousin that's almost 20 years older than I am (my mom is only 8 years older than him) and sometimes he feels more like an uncle than a cousin.
My oldest niece was SHOCKED when I said her mom was my sister. I remember her little eyes bulging and her going, “wait! My mom is your SIIIIIIISTER?” And I went on to explain that yes, she was just like Tia Marie was grandma’s sister. Her world was blown that day.
My niece is pretty mean to her little brother (her only sibling). She did something particularly mean one day when I was watching them, and I sat her down and got her to look me in the eye. I asked her, “Did you know I’m your mommy’s big sister?” She nodded her head. “Do you see aunt Burrsugar being mean to Mommy?” She shook her head. “How about Mommy being mean to Aunt Burrsugar?” She shook her head again. I then asked her, “Don’t you think it’s cool that Mommy and Aunt Burrsugar are friends?” And her eyes got really, really wide, and she gasped, and told me she didn’t know you could be sisters AND friends. Really took me out haha.
I teach kindergarteners. One day we were talking about families so I shared a picture of mine. I introduce “my little brother,” who has facial hair. Every single student was adamant that he was older than me. They also thought my husband must be my dad because he’s a full foot taller than me.
When I was young, about 4?, my mom and dad had already split but we visited dad on some weekends. He had a girlfriend there, but she had family stuff one weekend so wasn't there, and when we showed up he had a different girl there. He tried to explain to us that she was able to be there because she was a lesbian (she was not, he was cheating) but my child brain just translated that as an ethnicity and I pointed at her arm and asked if that was why her arms were hairy. I'm not sure my dad got laid that weekend
I mean, that's great, but also, did he think he wouldn't get freaking caught after his ex who could almost guaranteed see through his bs and a child with no filter saw him plainly with a different woman to the one he was dating? Was he that stupid? Could he not possibly keep it in his pants long enough to at least not let his ex see?
I had an uncle who did something similar. The kids kept telling their mom about daddy's friend with red hair. He gaslit her, like actual gaslighting, not just "as a redditor I'm too smart to use the word 'lying'" gaslighting. He'd do things like hide her car keys, and then when she was an hour late to work and stressed as fuck, he'd put them on a table in plain sight, and use this as evidence to convince her that she couldn't trust her own mind. Actual gaslighting. He conducted a campaign of attacks on her mental wellbeing and convinced her that the kids were lying and any other evidence she saw was just her mind playing tricks on her, until she had a mental breakdown and ended up in the hospital. Eventually she figured it out, and there really was a redheaded mistress. They divorced now, and she's doing much better.
Geeeeeeez. I’m glad she’s out of that now. I have no idea if it’s legally possible, but I feel like she should be able to sue him for mental damages.
Fucked up story u/PM_Me_HairyArmpits. You have my condolences for having that horrendous of an uncle and I'm glad she's doing better.
Lesbian is an ethnicity, for people from the isle of Lesbos. Lesbos is where Sappho is from, and that's why the ethnicity of people from Lesbos became a euphenism for wlw. Then it became an official term, as euphenisms often do.
> Lesbian is an ethnicity, for people from the isle of Lesbos If they're from somewhere else they're just sparkling ______
Sparkling WLW
Gal Pals! /s 🤣
Roommates?
I'm not convinced that the island of Lesbos is quite big and isolated enough to call being from Lesbos an "ethnicity". But to be fair, being greek *would* explain exceptionally hairy arms.
When my little sister was in kindergarten, our mom got a call from one of the teachers one day. She was crying from laughter because when she had asked all the kids there what they wanted to be when they grew up, my little sister had answered -matter-of-factly- "polar bear"
I mean, it's a good call, they are very much an apex predator.
She was laughing cuz the kid dont know they're going extict, she shoulda said a Pizzly Bear
>-matter-of-factly- I like this dash construction. It's weird but it's cool
I was volunteering at the school my mum worked at, and a bunch of the kids looked between baby faced 15 year old me, and my 42 year old mum, and asked ‘which one of you’s older?’ They thought we were sisters. Kids are so funny fr
Growing up and not being able to distinguish age using people's height anymore was a pretty big shock for me.
I'm 6'4 (193 cm). There are two types of people: shorter than me, and oh fuck you're my height or taller. One guy once solemnly asked me if I thought less of him because of his height and I had to tell him I didn't have a damn clue how tall he was. He was 5'8.
My dad would fall into the “oh fuck you’re my height or taller” category, and this is so real. One time he described his friend’s wife as being really tiny like me. I pointed out that I’m 5’6 and he was like “oh, she’s probably a lot shorter than you then.”
I'm 6'1 and have the same issue. If anyone is below 5'11, they're short and all the same height. 5'11 to 6'4 is normal size and all the same I was hanging out with a buddy and casually mentioned he was taller than me. Super confused, he made me getup to show me he is 5'11. I was so confused and upset, I've known this dude for like a year and always believed he was taller I have told a 5'1 person she was clearly taller than a 5'5 person. They both looked at me like I was stupid, stood side by side, and I indeed felt stupid I told a 5'5 man he was clearly taller than my 5'8 friend, and told that friend he was taller than a 5'6 girl. So they all lined up for me
Real conversation I’ve taken apart in: “Where are we going today?” “To a funeral” “Oh. Is it mine?”
"It could be." Can sometimes be the correct response
Kid I used to babysit, the highlights: “I know a rude word! It’s a very rude word and I’ll get in trouble for saying it. BUTTOCKS!!!” To my sister- “when I’m big like you, will you marry me?” She was 12 lol. “If I ate 100 apples would I die or would I turn into a tree?” After his dad corrected his spelling, running off shouting “I’M A FAILURE!” “Why does your jacket look like Tom Jones?” About my shitty pleather bike jacket I thought was the height of sophistication. The absolute GOAT: While wearing a sparkly dress and heels he stole from my room, twirling a handbag and sashaying around the living room: “Ooh la la, I’m a French woman, advertising L’Oreal Paris.” Man, kids are something else!
“Ooo la la I’m a French woman, advertising L’Oreal Paris” is fucking KILLING me, where do kids pick up stuff like this??
Honestly I wish I knew. What made it even funnier was the younger kid rolling his eyes and saying “Alex is very dramatic” in the voice of someone who regularly has his life interrupted by his brother’s shenanigans. Christ, they’re all adults now. Suddenly I feel very old.
But seriously though, *can* a piranha eat a stapler?
No, because piranhas eat by taking tiny, fast nips with sharp teeth (rip and tear method in miniature). These tiny nips, regardless of their teeth sharpness, wouldn't be sufficient to cronch the material of a stapler, whether metal or plastic. Additionally, they wouldn't be tempted to try because piranhas are only interested in flesh / meat - it would be like trying to convince a spider to be vegetarian ~* EDIT *~ I have since learned that while piranhas would certainly not be interesting in nomming on a stapler, they *are* interested in food other than meat Also There is in fact a vegetarian spider! My mind has been blown xD ~* END EDIT *~ Hope this helps! :)
Piranhas are omnivores, not the hypercanivorous MurderFish™️ you see on TV. Most of the species that do primarily attack other fish usually are more interested in scales than meat. Many spiders do supplement their diet with pollen and nectar, and the species Bagheera kiplingi is even the first known spider to be primarily herbivorous! No animal can eat a stapler.
I just looked up bagheera kiplingi as I'd never heard of them before - that's a cute spider! And very interesting to learn about :) I knew piranha weren't "hypercanivorous MurderFish™️" (this is a great description, ha) but I didn't know about them eating plant matter until today, so that's two things I've learned due to you~ Thank you!
>No animal can eat a stapler. Are we defining "eat" as "consume for nutritional benefit" here? 'cause I'm pretty sure a lot of animals could eat a stapler in the sense that they can swallow one or chomp it apart.
I reckon a tiger shark would eat a stapler, even if it couldn’t digest it.
I have _seen_ a goat eat one of those small staplers kids took to school in their pencil cases. It's owner didn't even seem that worried; more exasperated than anything, really.
>it would be like trying to convince a spider to be vegetarian I mean, you might be able to trick a spider to eat some tofu, maybe?
Don't Don't spiders *drink* their meals? ...I wanna know how you're making your tofu-fake-fly drinkable, this sounds hilarious 😂
I mean, setting aside the obvious answer of soymilk, tofu is a protein. It cam be broken down into a slush like any other protein
It can. But it will probably die afterwards
Everything is edible once
Metal stapler no, plastic stapler probably mot either
i am so glad to have an answer to this question
When I was younger my parents were friends with two other families who each had daughters roughly around my age, both named Amber. I was friends with these girls and played with them a lot, as did my little brother (about 6 or 7 at the time). One day my brother started talking about one of the Amber's to my mum and she asks which Amber he's talking about. "The evil one" Funnily enough, we knew instantly which Amber he was referring to 😂 she wasn't "evil" but she could be pretty loud and in-your-face and my brother had sensory issues due to autism. We're still friends with Evil Amber's family and she's still jokingly known as Evil Amber by all of us.
This is my favorite story! Are you still friends with regular Amber? 😂
We grew apart as we grew older and my parents bought a house in a different town 🤷♀️ So now there's only one Amber that we're close with and we *still* call her Evil Amber, haha! 😆
One of my standout memories of my youth (around preteen age) was when I was at the supermarket with my mom and waiting for her to pay for the stuff. There was a display full of My Little Pony merchandise I was staring at and this other kid who was, idk maybe 5 walked up and stood next to me. I wanted to appear cool to this 5 year old I guess, wanted to strike common ground because I felt awkward being caught looking at the MLP stuff. This was shortly after the episode "Magical Mystery Cure" aired (the one where Twilight Sparkle gets her wings) so I turn to this 5 year old and say "Wow, I can't believe Twilight Sparkle is one of those winged unicorn princesses now!" I assumed because this girl was 5, she didn't know the official word for winged unicorns they use in MLP. This kid, this 5 YEAR OLD, turns to me with the most disgusted look and snobbily says "Um, actually she's an ALICORN." like she was embarrassed that I got the word wrong. I got fucking "Fandom Person Correcting a Normie" by a 5 year old.
Apparently before the show, the word alicorn was more often used as a name for the material for the horn of a unicorn, so... I don't blame you.
I’m sorry you met my oldest. She corrects me all the time about the difference between alicorns, unicorns, pegasai, and ponies
I told my 8 year old student I was 29. She said she thought I was 60. My 62-year old colleague overheard her and asked her how old she thought he was. She said 60 again
For some reason 60 appears to be the default age for grown-ups to kids. I remember putting my dad’s age as 60 in kindergarten.
That 6 year old absolutely asked to drive the car and was told only maried people are allowed to drive
I'll find any excuse to gush about this thing my niece did so long ago when she was 5/6. I went back to my village in india to visit family. There were a lot of kids this time around and like the whole of my street pretty much belongs to my relatives. so I went to my cousin's house (two houses over from mine) for dinner. I was helping my niece with her homework. and then there was a power cut (kinda frequent where we were) so went outside and where there was some natural light left so she could continue. But it was the evening. And once the sun starts setting the mosquitos come out. and yeah within a few minutes there were a lot of mosquitos. I was an idiot and wore a singlet during all this. my niece was coming down with a cold so she was wearing a jacket. so while I was slapping my skin absentmindedly every few seconds while trying to teach her, she takes off her jacket. and I was like "put that back on there are so many mosquitos" and she's like "I know. now they won't just bite you." She's such a sweetheart I love her so much. Anyways I brought her inside and we waited til the power came back to do her homework
I would lay down my life on the spot for that kid. That’s so precious and kind.
Recently moved out of my parents’ house for uni, my sister (16 years old) asked if she could move into my room since it’s bigger and I’ll barely be around, i said yes and she switched our stuff between the rooms. Anyways, I visited last week and my 5 year old brother came up to me first thing and went “[sister] stole your room, i helped her”. Thanks for the heads up buddy.
My sister used to be a teacher and has told me all kinds of stories. One summer she was subbing for a computer class for first graders, and noticed a boy and girl talking to each other, and the girl was getting upset. So she walks over. As she gets near, the little girl turns around and says angrily “Teacher, he says I’m poop!” Well, this was a little brown girl and a little white boy, so my sister gears herself up for the worst, but the boy turns around and puts his hands up in a great shrug with a grave shake of his head. “Everybody knows it,” he says. “All babies come out the poop chute. There are no exceptions.” And the little girl goes “I’m not POOP!” and cries.
The poop chute lol
A few weeks ago, I was playing with my 6 yo cousin and I mentioned I was going to have a coffee and she stared at me in shock. "Cousins are allowed to drink coffee???" As if there was some sort of law forbidding you to drink coffee if you happend to be someone's cousin.
Maybe another cousin wasn't allowed to drink coffee
When I was a kid I remember getting called to the office, pretty sure my teacher could tell I was nervous as all get out cause she reassured me that it wasn't for anything bad but that didn't help cause I spent the whole walking down there thinking I unknowing bullied someone. Come to find out, they wanted to praise me for something, and I was so mad cause I thought you should only get called to the office whenever you've been bad. Also, I thought I couldn't cry in school or else I'd be bullied, plus for about a day I was convinced that I was a sociopath cause I read where one of the characters was a sociopath and the two reasons how the character knew was one couldn't feel emotions and two hated looking people I'm the eyes. Well, I could feel emotions, but I hated/hate looking people in the eyes.
Hello fellow ‘media made you think you were sociopath when in fact autism’ (fuck eye contact)
> Also, I thought I couldn't cry in school or else I'd be bullied That doesn't seem that far off, especially for boys ...
About the last one, my nephew was three years old when I asked him what his favorite dinosaur was. I was expecting “Barney” or maybe “T-Rex” but this dude casually said Parasaurolophus. I was speechless for a second lol. I had to ask him to repeat himself, and he did. Parasaurolophus. My lil dude, what in the 😭
I’m pretty sure you need at least two years of university-level paleontology study before you can reliably equal the dinosaur knowledge of the average three year old.
Can relate, my Niece is the same way. She can tell you everything you need to know about dinosaurs. Her mom and her mom's housemate both have Dinosaur's as a special interest, and she routinely corrects them. She even knows what dinosaur like creatures aren't actually dinos and are instead flying or marine reptiles, or other similar creatures lol.
When I was in kindergarten my (wonderful) teacher would go through the alphabet and have a few of us give examples of a word for each letter that she would write on a whiteboard, and then go over the list with us. When she got to P everyone else said things like pig, pink, or pet, and then came me with Parasaurolophus. She thought I made it up even though I knew exactly how to spell it so she didn’t put it on the board, and I brought my dinosaur encyclopedia to school the next day to prove her wrong lol. She told my mom about it practically in tears laughing, and that day Parasaurolophus went up on the board.
Are they a fan of Dinosaur King by any chance? I loved that programme as a kid and one of the main characters has a parasaurolophus called Paris.
A colleague shared the story how a little girl in her neighbourhood (around 4 yrs) asked her boyfriend if he had a small penis as well. The aftermath was hilarious
Im fairly certain the piranha kids thought process went like: See piranhas being a threat in a cartoon -> piranha is now considered Something To Watch Out For -> if a piranha was here, how could I defeat it? -> the most dangerous thing nearby is a stapler -> wait but piranhas are reeeeeally good at eating, uh oh -> can a piranha eat a stapler, rendering me helpless in case of a piranha attack?
Aww these are cute. My nanny kids remind me every day that my mom is dead and then laugh about it. Because sometimes kids are not just blunt out of curiosity. Assholes 😂 love them so much though
When my nephew was 3, we were at the Botanic Garden, and he pointed to the rare plant conservatory and said “that’s where the dead people go.” We hadn’t said the word conservatory, so he wasn’t confusing it with cemetery (and I’m not sure if he knew cemetery at that age either). It was pretty creepy.
Tbf if you're in school and find out someone twice your age is still in school that's a terrifying thought.
I once proudly told my class that we have a second brain in our vagina when we were sharing fun facts, because my dad told me about the nervous system in our digestive track, and I mixed up stomachs and vaginas lmao.
I will share my own story. When i was starting my tenth grade year my little sister (6) was starting first grade. She had been to PreK and Kindergarten, but i assume she thought of it more as play dates than school. Well i go to wake her up for school and start the whole morning routine (time to shower, brush teeth etc etc). She is Super Excited and as a big brother (who was burnt out on school by this point) it was cute to see the kid super happy. she has her brand new baby shark backpack on and she is literally kicking my seat in excitement as we drive to drop her off (lived in country). Well i drop her off and head to school. Fast forward i leave early to pick her up. She is extremely happy. She is just bubbly and laughing from all the fun she had. I asked if she enjoyed it and ahe just rambled for 20 minutes about how great school WAS. The next day i go to start the routine again (ugh) and she wakes up super groggy. She doesn't understand what's happening. I said "lets go time for school" she says "what do you mean? Go back? I finished." I said " you finished your first day, gotta go finish the school year." she yells "I HAVE TO GO FOR A WHOLE YEAR!?" "IS THAT WHERE YOU GO EVERY DAY????" I said "yes" She says "how long do i have to be in school?" I say "about 12 years but you get the summers off, now come on you wasting time." She goes "12 YEARS? I'LL BE OLD AND DEAD BY THEN!" In response i threw her towel at her lol. Still one the greatest things i will remember is her look of disbelief, shock, and anger for that first week lol. She was so mad at our dad for not warning her.
Teaching ESL kids is the best because you sometimes get \*amazing\* mistakes. One time I was teaching a 7 year old the months in English and she repeated "October, November, Dismember!" and I was useless for 5 minutes.
Once a 5yo asked me if I had children. I answered no, I don’t. Then he asked if I had grandchildren.
At dinner with friends a few weeks ago and one our friends had this milkshake and she’s says something like “This is the best milk shake in the world!” My daughter looks at her, and goes “No, it’s not. That’s hyperbole!” And then announced loudly that she had to “peepee right now, because she never used the potty at this place before.
I teach kids in aikido, and have since I was 14 (so for 10 years now) One kid, who was a notorious little shit (love her though), was astonished when I called her on doing something I'd specifically JUST told her not to do (which could have gotten her partner hurt), so I may have sounded a little sharp about it. Kid: "do you have children?" Me: "what? No I dont" Kid: "oh, you seem like a mother. Like, you have eyes on the back of your head! And you talk like a mom" Me: "... well... I've been teaching you kids for a long long time." I Also gave recently been called mom on accident, broke character, and started giggling in front of the whole class mid-demonstration (so it wasn't like only a few kids were witness)
Tag yourself I was for sure cephalopod kid
When my daughter was four, she came up to me and said she wanted some candy, to feed the birds. I told her that birds don’t like candy, but we could go to the store, and get some bird seed. Noooo, she *needed* to feed them candy. When asked why she thought the birds would want candy, she replied, “hummingbirds eat sugary fluids, they might want a snack.”
In all fairness when I was a kid I thought piranhas were going to be a bigger problem then they've turned out to be.
My mom had a friend with twin boys who were about 5 years younger than me. I saw them probably about once a month from the time they were born. One time when I was 11 or so they told their teacher they were going to see me later that day, and that I was 40 years old. Their mom was telling me about that and we asked them how old they thought my mom was. They said 12. They proved this by pointing at her feet, then moving their finger up to her head while counting to 12.
I worked as a teacher's aide in a pre school for a while. One day a had a kid ask if he could tell me a secret. Horrified at what he might potentially tell me that would warrant a CPS call or something, I leaned in as he whispered "^did ^you ^know ^that ^I'm ^Black?" I was infact aware that he was Black lol
One interaction I still have no idea what was the thought process behind it was with my 4 year old nephew. One day he saw me with a t-shirt with Homer Simpson on it, asked who he was, and I said his name. The one question he immediately thought to ask was "Who's his friend?" I was so unprepared for that I had no idea how to answer so I just said he's Bart, Lisa and Maggie's dad.
I'm currently a student teacher, in my last semester of grad school. The first day at my new school, one of the 1st graders looked me up and down, and I *think* was trying to sus out how old I was. I'm 26, and super young looking, but I also have a beard and mustache. Looking to resolve this, this kid goes "...are you married?" Made me laugh so hard. No, little one, I'm not married, I hope that helps your little brain figure out what category of adult to put me in
My 6 yr old daughter brought home a library book on sea turtles. It has a page on reproduction which mentions males provide the semen to fertilize the eggs which the female carries inside of her. She stopped me from reading and says, “I am going to tell Aiden (her classmate that she is convinced she will marry) to give me his semen so I can make babies”. I asked when she thought she would be ready to have babies. “Next week, I have lots to do this week”, She replied.
This is the post that taught me octopi were cephalopods
Yep! And squids and cuttlefish and nautiluses
You didn’t learn that from Men In Black like everyone else?
The plural of octopus is octopuses. -ii is a Latin ending and octopus is a Greek word. Words gain English plurals if they're not Latin in origin, hence octopuses, but if you want to bend that rule because it's classical Greek, the plural is octopodes (pronounced ok-top-o-dees). Second octopus fact!
My little cousins who are twins ask me every time I see them whether Im a boy or girl, when I say neither they call me a "booger" because it sounds like boygirl and find it hilarious
I used to work at a residential type school for kids with autism, behavior issues, etc. One day, an older kid (14 ish) asked a coworker if he had a brother, followed up with "so is he in college or is he dead?" As if those were the only two options when you grow up lol
My sister convinced a few of her friends in class to do the mewing meme thing where you slide a finger across your jawline during the graduation (i think) celebration video
I have a very young brother and one time while playing with him he randomly shouts “NO! DONT STEAL MY BONES!!!” out of nowhere
One time my friends kids asked if I was a grownup. I was 25.
When I was a kid, I apparently described my (18 year old) cousin as "sort of a kid, but really a men" when asked if he could still sit at the kids table.
The funny thing isn't how weird these kids are. Its that we all were at that point but have grown too old to remember it.
I had a little girl from my mum’s daycare come up to me and tell me she liked my hair and I looked just like a princess. And I was like “aww thanks sweetie that’s nice of you to say” She stood there for a sec and stuck her lip out and then said “Well? Don’t you have anything to say to me?” and tossed her hair over her shoulder 💀
Saw a little boy on the bus who was proudly reading the numbers off other buses as they passed by: "Six ... nine ... twenty-seven ... eighty-six ..." and then a bus numbered "5X" came by. Boy: "Five ... ? What's that?" His mom: "That's the bus number." Boy: "X is a number now?" You could just hear his understanding of the world comes crashing down.
I always let the little kids I volunteer with pick my age. They’re 3-4, so I’ve been 6 for years.
As a current elementary school teacher, it is insane how brilliant and absolutely stupid kids are.
That last child is a disciple of Cthulu
These questions are awesome because they either show care for another human (allbeit in the confines of a small kid's world view) or because they want to learn. As an elementary school teacher myself I love these. Ask me everything, and even if I have the shittiest of shit days, we'll get to the bottom of it and find an answer for you, kid!
When I first started working at the elementary school I do now, streaks of my hair were dyed blue. A few weeks ago I decided to dye them red instead and one of the kids asked "How did you change your hair color?". Little guy must have thought my hair was naturally blue
I had a beard for most of my son's life and shaved it when he was about 5. He told me I couldn't be his dad anymore because I looked like a little kid and little kids can't be dads.
My kids and I were driving in Detroit and we passed under a bridge where there were lots of fat pigeons. My 6 year old was amazed to see them. I said "it's really not that unusual, there are pigeons everywhere." He stared out the window for a second, nodded sagely, and concluded, "the world is made of pigeons."