Assuming heavy duty, large size paper clip. Straighten it out to full length. Stick end through side of banana until about half an inch is sticking out other side, bend that little bit up to keep it from sliding back out. Then bend the long side ~2 inches from end, and insert in ceiling tile (ideally the large white tiles seen in every high school ever).
Face them (important!), make eye contact, smile, physical contact (light touch on arm or shoulder), say "I'm bad at flirting. Want to get a coffee and help me practice?"
Flirting is like like having a normal conversation but making a conscious effort to make the person who you're talking to like you more by making your interesting personality more exposed than normal.
Flirting for me is something that happens on accident. Like I'm never mad it happens but me being charming can only happen on accident. I try on purpose it's weird and stilted.
I think it's probably because flirting is so vague and ambiguous as a concept. Also, it just overlaps with normal socializing so much. Like, for some people, holding open a door might be a sign of interest, but for others, it's just something you're supposed to do with everyone.
I almost feel like everyone needs to define "flirting" before having a discussion about it because it seems like some people use "flirting" to mean "signaling romantic interest" and other people use it to mean "acting in a way that could be seen as signaling romantic interest, without necessarily any romantic intent."
For the latter meaning, it seems like one could totally be flirting without specifically intending to, since it's a behavior not an objective. If I want to signal that someone has actual romantic intent, I'd say they were "hitting on" the other person--which might include the same behavior as flirting.
(Merrim-Webster has flirting in this meaning as "to behave amorously without serious intent")
That study is pretty strong evidence that "flirting" doesn't even fucking exist. I mean, you've got a behavior that totally exists but isn't any more identifiable or effectual than if it didn't exist? Suuuuure buddy, and I've got a dragon in my garage.
I looked up the study, and seems like it's not that simple, because people are usually right when they think someone is *not* flirting (80% success rate). Moreover, people have a higher success rate detecting when a woman is flirting compared to a man. So there *is* something there, it's just that the human brain is very bad at detecting it. (Also, that's anecdotal evidence, but I know I definitely act differently when I'm with someone I'm trying to seduce)
I think people are more succesful at detecting that women are flirting because we are told how women are 'supposed' to flirt all the time. Playing with the hair, laughing a lot, a higher than normal voice, touching their own neck or face, and so on, to name a few examples from the top of my head. Whether or not those signs are actually common doesn't even matter, but it is very ingrained into culture, and thus easily used and recognized.
How are men 'supposed' to flirt? Whatever I can think of, either men are flirting all the time, or it is just relatively normal behaviour.
What I can think of that can indicate that a man is flirting (just to make it clear, those are stereotypes, not pieces of advice):
\-acting softer than usual with the person / speaking at a higher pitch
\-trying to appear more impressive (subtly trying to show off muscles for instance)
\-offering to do stuff for the person (fetching food/drink for example)
Well, I can't really talk about the experience of a woman, since I am just an AMAB enby, but those seem like normal social behaviour to me? I have been on the receiving end of all of these, and that was certainly not flirting. I think? I hope... Usually it is just asking for a favour, some dickhead trying to establish dominance, or just politeness.
Hence why determining when a man is flirting is so hard I guess. There's also a notion of intensity/frequency as well as context. If every time you start standing up to go fetch a drink a guy tells you to remain seated, even if you're closer to the drinks than him, it's a better indication than if it happens once from time to time.
[Here you go :)](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/270603170_Accurately_Detecting_Flirting_Error_Management_Theory_the_Traditional_Sexual_Script_and_Flirting_Base_Rate)
It's there of its own volition -- it's immaterial as well as invisible, so no walls can hold it. It's totally there right now though, trust me. In fact, I kind of wish it would leave. Its invisible heatless fire has no observable effect whatsoever, but I still don't want it on my car's finish.
My friend Carl [dealt with a similar problem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Demon-Haunted_World#Dragon_in_my_garage) but I can't remember how he resolved the issue
**The Demon-Haunted World**
[Dragon in my garage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Demon-Haunted_World#Dragon_in_my_garage)
>As an example of skeptical thinking, Sagan offers a story concerning a fire-breathing dragon who lives in his garage. When he persuades a rational, open-minded visitor to meet the dragon, the visitor remarks that they are unable to see the creature. Sagan replies that he "neglected to mention that she's an invisible dragon". The visitor suggests spreading flour on the floor so that the creature's footprints might be seen, which Sagan says is a good idea, "but this dragon floats in the air".
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I was recently told by a female friend of mine "if a woman says she wants to suck your cock, you can be fairly certain that she's flirting with you." I think that's a good standard.
*Image Transcription: Tumblr Replies*
---
**teaboot**
The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was "Flirting" is both unfortunate and disappointing.
---
**teaboot**
"haha so what about that guy, huh?"
**Me:** what about him
"Well you seemed super into him"
**Me:** what why
"...dude you were flirting all night"
**Me:**
**Me:** Whoms't™™
---
**trainerdelaney**
I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because "You guys kept flirting" but I was like "We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do." I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was
---
**trainerdelaney**
"You were laughing at everything TJ did!"
"He paper clipped a *banana* to the *ceiling*, Isabelle. That's fucking bonkers"
---
**spindletrees**
This might be a good time for Ms. Psych degree here to step in and let ye all know that People Are Unable To Identify Flirting. There are double-blind studies to support this, if you instruct participants to flirt or not flirt with another participant, neither the second participant nor onlookers are able to accurately tell which instruction the first participant was given. Even if you get the flirting participant to rate their attraction to the person they're flirting with, and only count trials where people are either flirting with people they find attractive, or not flirting with people they don't find attractive NO ONE CAN TELL WHO IS FLIRTING OR WHO ISN'T.
---
**gallantblade475**
I've heard that people actually have a \*less than 50% chance\* of guess whether someone is flirting or not.
---
**saxifraga-x-urbium**
Thank fuck this isn't just me failing at humanity
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Establish eye contact, smile like you have a good joke but not so good that you actually laugh/audibly exhale, and say "hey (Hey!) What a wonderful kind of day! If you can learn to work and play and get along with each other."
My brother says that if they join in, or even not walk away at first opportunity, they're interested and flirting has officially begun. My sister says to stop after the first "hey."
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Here's a copy of
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I’m so bad at recognizing flirting that I went on a whole ass date to Six Flags without realizing it was a date. She was holding my hand on roller coasters and I went “Oh she’s probably just scared of heights :)” We shared an ice cream sundae. I was fucking oblivious.
If it makes you feel better I went on a date with a guy once too without knowing it xD Like yeah dude we're just hugging, holding hands and sitting really close together because we're really good friends.
yeah
also the whomst is hilarious
i think it's fun to just be yourself, but alasn therein lies the luciferian conflict 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
but to me, god is lucifer's lover, as an archetype, not any jibwad judeo-christian-islamic type abrahamic thing, just as an idea, and thank you for letting me share, i like commenting on your posts
Ms. Psych degree is right... People that I'm into have literally said to me: "I have my house alone, wanna come?" And I've literally thought that they were just being friendly...
*less than 50%* this is *iconic* you guys, in case you suck at math or just don't know this yet, that's less than random chance guessing.
I do things like holding doors, catching doors that are closing, showing people my latest origami creations, helping people with homework, and laughing at funny shit all the damn time
I still don't know how one would paper clip a banana to the ceiling. Stapler, maybe.
gotta get some long ass staples though
or press really, really hard
I'll do a lot for a laugh but ass staples sound too painful. ^(is this flirting?)
I don't know but I'm interested
This gave me more pause than anything else in the post. Best I can figure is some kinda paper clip chain hammock
banana hammock
Assuming heavy duty, large size paper clip. Straighten it out to full length. Stick end through side of banana until about half an inch is sticking out other side, bend that little bit up to keep it from sliding back out. Then bend the long side ~2 inches from end, and insert in ceiling tile (ideally the large white tiles seen in every high school ever).
That's why it's fucking bonkers, *Isabelle.*
All the people here getting stuck on the 'banana to the ceiling' part is why I feel at home in this sub
You can attach a LOT of shit to a LOT of random other shit if you got a handful of unbent paper clips 👍
Easy, just bend the wire.
I’m lost on how to even flirt. I don’t get what the difference is from just talking with someone
Honestly like 90% of it is just being friendly and going out of your way to be nice to / compliment them.
That’s literally just being a decent person, is it not?
The only difference between being nice and flirting is how many overexaggerated winks you put in. Anything more than 12 and you're clearly flirting.
The difference is your intention, and since that isn't externally visible, we get misunderstandings like these. Sigh.
You've identified the problem, yes.
Impossible to say! Get out there and risk your friendships champ\~
the difference is in the concentrated effort, which is kinda pretty much impossible to see from the outside
i guess its the complimenting that makes the difference
im pretty sure flirting would be making suggestions about you finding the other person in a plausibly deniable way
Face them (important!), make eye contact, smile, physical contact (light touch on arm or shoulder), say "I'm bad at flirting. Want to get a coffee and help me practice?"
help please im swooning unconetorllavble i cant type call abonaulance
this comment made my day
thank you \^\^ω\^\^
If somebody makes you feel this way, make sure to give him a stroke too
and then we smash
“I think it’s gratuitous but whatever.”
Tried this on my pathology professor and it did not work :(
Flirting is like like having a normal conversation but making a conscious effort to make the person who you're talking to like you more by making your interesting personality more exposed than normal.
Flirting for me is something that happens on accident. Like I'm never mad it happens but me being charming can only happen on accident. I try on purpose it's weird and stilted.
I think it's probably because flirting is so vague and ambiguous as a concept. Also, it just overlaps with normal socializing so much. Like, for some people, holding open a door might be a sign of interest, but for others, it's just something you're supposed to do with everyone.
I just made jokes and was chill around a guy and now we’re married. Didn’t even have to flirt
He blamed me for apparently leading him on and I was just like WHOMSTVE TF? We were literally just having a good te dude.
Love a good te
*time lol
Ok Iroh, what's next, a round of pai ch
Add autism and I am always 100% wrong in whatever I guess lmao
just start guessing the opposite of what you think then and you’ll be 100% accuratw
No that’s just what they want you to think! It’s reverse psychology!
I almost feel like everyone needs to define "flirting" before having a discussion about it because it seems like some people use "flirting" to mean "signaling romantic interest" and other people use it to mean "acting in a way that could be seen as signaling romantic interest, without necessarily any romantic intent." For the latter meaning, it seems like one could totally be flirting without specifically intending to, since it's a behavior not an objective. If I want to signal that someone has actual romantic intent, I'd say they were "hitting on" the other person--which might include the same behavior as flirting. (Merrim-Webster has flirting in this meaning as "to behave amorously without serious intent")
That study is pretty strong evidence that "flirting" doesn't even fucking exist. I mean, you've got a behavior that totally exists but isn't any more identifiable or effectual than if it didn't exist? Suuuuure buddy, and I've got a dragon in my garage.
I looked up the study, and seems like it's not that simple, because people are usually right when they think someone is *not* flirting (80% success rate). Moreover, people have a higher success rate detecting when a woman is flirting compared to a man. So there *is* something there, it's just that the human brain is very bad at detecting it. (Also, that's anecdotal evidence, but I know I definitely act differently when I'm with someone I'm trying to seduce)
Are we bad at detecting or just bad at flirting
Yes
Probably both
[удалено]
That is adorable and hilarious Also I am always playing with my hair 😳
I have to wonder now whether that study had an option for: "Well, they're trying, but doing a terrible job at it."
I think people are more succesful at detecting that women are flirting because we are told how women are 'supposed' to flirt all the time. Playing with the hair, laughing a lot, a higher than normal voice, touching their own neck or face, and so on, to name a few examples from the top of my head. Whether or not those signs are actually common doesn't even matter, but it is very ingrained into culture, and thus easily used and recognized. How are men 'supposed' to flirt? Whatever I can think of, either men are flirting all the time, or it is just relatively normal behaviour.
What I can think of that can indicate that a man is flirting (just to make it clear, those are stereotypes, not pieces of advice): \-acting softer than usual with the person / speaking at a higher pitch \-trying to appear more impressive (subtly trying to show off muscles for instance) \-offering to do stuff for the person (fetching food/drink for example)
Well, I can't really talk about the experience of a woman, since I am just an AMAB enby, but those seem like normal social behaviour to me? I have been on the receiving end of all of these, and that was certainly not flirting. I think? I hope... Usually it is just asking for a favour, some dickhead trying to establish dominance, or just politeness.
Hence why determining when a man is flirting is so hard I guess. There's also a notion of intensity/frequency as well as context. If every time you start standing up to go fetch a drink a guy tells you to remain seated, even if you're closer to the drinks than him, it's a better indication than if it happens once from time to time.
Link?
[Here you go :)](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/270603170_Accurately_Detecting_Flirting_Error_Management_Theory_the_Traditional_Sexual_Script_and_Flirting_Base_Rate)
Thank you for actually checking and sharing what you learned -- I was ready to let it be just another dubious tumblr factoid.
Thank you! Much appreciated.
Let the dragon out, you scoundrel
It's there of its own volition -- it's immaterial as well as invisible, so no walls can hold it. It's totally there right now though, trust me. In fact, I kind of wish it would leave. Its invisible heatless fire has no observable effect whatsoever, but I still don't want it on my car's finish.
Do you want to talk about it?
My friend Carl [dealt with a similar problem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Demon-Haunted_World#Dragon_in_my_garage) but I can't remember how he resolved the issue
**The Demon-Haunted World** [Dragon in my garage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Demon-Haunted_World#Dragon_in_my_garage) >As an example of skeptical thinking, Sagan offers a story concerning a fire-breathing dragon who lives in his garage. When he persuades a rational, open-minded visitor to meet the dragon, the visitor remarks that they are unable to see the creature. Sagan replies that he "neglected to mention that she's an invisible dragon". The visitor suggests spreading flour on the floor so that the creature's footprints might be seen, which Sagan says is a good idea, "but this dragon floats in the air". ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
I was recently told by a female friend of mine "if a woman says she wants to suck your cock, you can be fairly certain that she's flirting with you." I think that's a good standard.
*Image Transcription: Tumblr Replies* --- **teaboot** The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was "Flirting" is both unfortunate and disappointing. --- **teaboot** "haha so what about that guy, huh?" **Me:** what about him "Well you seemed super into him" **Me:** what why "...dude you were flirting all night" **Me:** **Me:** Whoms't™™ --- **trainerdelaney** I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because "You guys kept flirting" but I was like "We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do." I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was --- **trainerdelaney** "You were laughing at everything TJ did!" "He paper clipped a *banana* to the *ceiling*, Isabelle. That's fucking bonkers" --- **spindletrees** This might be a good time for Ms. Psych degree here to step in and let ye all know that People Are Unable To Identify Flirting. There are double-blind studies to support this, if you instruct participants to flirt or not flirt with another participant, neither the second participant nor onlookers are able to accurately tell which instruction the first participant was given. Even if you get the flirting participant to rate their attraction to the person they're flirting with, and only count trials where people are either flirting with people they find attractive, or not flirting with people they don't find attractive NO ONE CAN TELL WHO IS FLIRTING OR WHO ISN'T. --- **gallantblade475** I've heard that people actually have a \*less than 50% chance\* of guess whether someone is flirting or not. --- **saxifraga-x-urbium** Thank fuck this isn't just me failing at humanity --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good flirt
If you have a less than 50% chance of telling who is flirting, just flip your initial guess.
However, people are pretty good at telling when someone is NOT flirting. Not perfect, but like 80% accurate.
How the fuck do you even flirt
Establish eye contact, smile like you have a good joke but not so good that you actually laugh/audibly exhale, and say "hey (Hey!) What a wonderful kind of day! If you can learn to work and play and get along with each other." My brother says that if they join in, or even not walk away at first opportunity, they're interested and flirting has officially begun. My sister says to stop after the first "hey."
[удалено]
[удалено]
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I’m so bad at recognizing flirting that I went on a whole ass date to Six Flags without realizing it was a date. She was holding my hand on roller coasters and I went “Oh she’s probably just scared of heights :)” We shared an ice cream sundae. I was fucking oblivious.
If it makes you feel better I went on a date with a guy once too without knowing it xD Like yeah dude we're just hugging, holding hands and sitting really close together because we're really good friends.
To me flirting has always been stuff like “Gosh is it hot in here or is it just you? ;)” Turns out I accidentally rejected so many guys in my life
my idea of flirting is sitting close to someone when we look at pictures of cool fish
what's your favorite type?
I like catfish because they horrify me
I wish society wouldn’t be so sexually charged and think every interaction was flirting
As long as society thinks its better to see someones insides (gore) than it is to see their outsides (nudity)...it will always be this way.
yeah also the whomst is hilarious i think it's fun to just be yourself, but alasn therein lies the luciferian conflict 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 but to me, god is lucifer's lover, as an archetype, not any jibwad judeo-christian-islamic type abrahamic thing, just as an idea, and thank you for letting me share, i like commenting on your posts
That can't be a healthy relationship Satan can do better
sir this is a wendy's
this is the most wild theory ive ever seen, the hell makes you think that?
I guess we'll never know ╮(╯▽╰)╭
Ms. Psych degree is right... People that I'm into have literally said to me: "I have my house alone, wanna come?" And I've literally thought that they were just being friendly...
I think it’s based mainly on physical attractiveness, whether someone is flirting or not
I can't even tell when someone is actually trying to be friends with me, do you expect me to tell if someone's flirting with me?
If there truly is less than 50% chance of guessing right, then you should **always** bet against your first instinct, whatever it may be.
New strategy: try and figure out if someone is flirting and then run with the opposite of the answer you came up with.
if someone paperclipped a banana to the ceiling I would be laughing too XD
*Ceiling banana*
See, this is why I leave out the “banter” part. I’m pure wit, baybee
*less than 50%* this is *iconic* you guys, in case you suck at math or just don't know this yet, that's less than random chance guessing. I do things like holding doors, catching doors that are closing, showing people my latest origami creations, helping people with homework, and laughing at funny shit all the damn time
Alright, imma need sources to prove I'm not just a dumbass but everyone is