T O P

  • By -

ponyplaza

People who abuse people in general are horrible, absolutely no one deserves to be abused.


Sarcasaminc

They take advantage of our amnesia to keep you quiet and control you. It's very evil. All abuse is evil.


epicgameralexp

abuse in general is horrible, this is a stupid question😂


ReferenceIll3526

Yeah


beomint

i mean yeah obviously but cant we agree that theres something especially fucked up about abusing someone who's already been abused beyond the point of coping to where they have a lifelong illness, and because of it that makes them more suseptable to further abuse? i agree its a bit of a silly thing to say (op wasnt asking a question, rather making a statement) given that all abuse is inexusable, but pointing out how it's a new level of evil to take advantage of somebody with a disorder that makes them very suseptible to abuse shouldn't be shot down with minimization and hurtful words. we dont gotta make people feel like shit just because we dont agree imo


epicgameralexp

i agree with them. but obviously i do. my point is we all agree and its obvious why. because abuse is horrible. yes it is especially horrible when done to someone with DID but again, abuse is abuse so yes we all agree it’s bad.


spookymagnet

is the abuse of someone with DID supposed to be considered worse than the abuse of someone without DID? are both not equally fucked up? the only differences between the two would be the emotionally abusive tactics used against the person but no two cases of emotional abuse are going to be the same anyway. its useless to compare trauma and abuse.


Justatinybaby

The way the entertainment industry uses our lives and trauma is abuse imo. It furthers the stigma and makes it easier for people to marginalize and abuse us irl. Because we are “scary”. I had a psychiatrist tell me she couldn’t prescribe me a medication I needed because she was afraid I was going to dissociate and kill someone. WHAT?!?? Lady turn off the tv and actually learn about your job. It was mortifying and really scary to deal with her. We are abused by society every day imo.


TheAchillesSystemTM

All people who abuse in general are horrible but I still can’t get over that my last ex abused me and used my amnesia against me to keep me with her for 4 YEARS. (She started her abuse the first year apparently. She just couldn’t wait.) Then ran when I was finally figuring out my DID. After taking advantage of us one last time of course. 🧍 I remember that one time completely randomly in our relationship she warned me how she couldn’t date someone with DID completely out of the blue. She told me how “If I ever told her I had DID she’d HAVE to leave.” not, “Thank goodness you don’t have DID” or something. I know why now but oh my god. 🤦 Uncovering just a little of what she did to us in therapy has completely shattered my trust with people. Not to mention how she turned our old friend group against me by saying I had DID so I didn’t know what I was saying. Honestly, this is why I keep my DID a secret to most now.


7EE-w1nt325

I am assuming what you meant by this, is the intricate way people can manupilate and take advantage of people with severe DID, obviously abusing anyone ever is horrible, but the life altering and life threatening damage that can happen as a result of abusing someone with a variety of partd or alters can have really intense and serious after effects and aftermath. I think some things I don't consider "abuse" cause it was more like I was triggered beyong belief and the other person had no way of knowing what was triggered and the avalanche effect of that trigger. The spiraling and splitting that was unintentionally triggered. Like my mom may use a phrase she doesnt realize triggers me so bad that from that moment on, another triggered alter is taking every word out of her mouth as hurtful and mal intention.


Significant-Alps4665

People that abuse us don’t think we’re human. They’re so sick they don’t understand how to pretend to be decent. and that’s why they act the way they make us sound like we act through the media, etc.. Monsters who deserve what they do to us.


spookymagnet

i dont think its necessarily healthy to categorize abuse. i already think the separation between different forms of abuse causes stigma surrounding them, like how emotional abuse is considered “better” than physical or sexual abuse. all forms of abuse, including neglect, are bad. the abuse of a severely traumatized person with a dissociative disorder is ultimately the same as the abuse of someone that doesnt have a dissociative disorder. both are fucked up. the only differences would be the ways the *emotional abuse* would be carried out, like using someones amnesia against them vs not being able to do that with an average person. but its still emotional/psychological abuse either way. so i dont see the point of your question.


MemoryOne22

Particularly fucked up because we are already survivors and especially vulnerable due to amnesia concerns and parts or headmates without the adult ability to defend the system or respond to danger.


PureRose7

People assume they can get away with abusing you more or mistreating you more. Like we've already had enough to deal with. Don't do stuff that makes our symptoms worse! To the person who downvoted me: I even have witnesses, and my mom has even said this before. People assume they can get away with things just because you have a disability.


Helpful_Okra5953

It’s particularly nasty to gaslight someone who’s already severely traumatized.    But, since DID is a rare mental health disorder, sufferers aren’t REALLY human… and good Christian people need not treat them as such.  I mean, they’re already seriously damaged.  Come on.  Why throw good treatment away on some weirdo who can’t do anything for YOU?


kefalka_adventurer

Abusing someone for having an Inescapable experience as a baby is just beyond all evil.


ConfidentMachine

i feel like so many singlets weve encountered just have it in the back of their minds at all times. "if i lied about x.. would he remember?" or "its fine if i abuse this little, the host wont remember and thats the only one i actually care about", weve even had singlets force us to lie to eachother (causing massive destabilization). people who would NEVER ever think of treating a singlet this way, people who use us as a punching bag so they can be normal with all their normal friends. its like we are a magnet for abuse, a corrupting force that entrances other people to do horrible things they otherwise wouldnt. my (host) partner has thoroughly abused our amnesia and lack of continuous memory, used it to cheat as much as they wanted, forced the others to lie to me about it when they figured it out. they control if we are homeless or not, if we have food or not, and they have been acutely aware of this while going behind our back. that we cant speak out or even are allowed to be upset at the cheating for that unspoken threat of kicking out. our "best friend" has also abused our symptoms, pretty freely as much as shes wanted to. shes done a lot of things, but the tipping point was when she picked a fight that she turned into a 5 hour screaming match with our *little* . she had started screaming at her over every insecurity of hers that she was pissed at ME (host) about, mostly relating to having played an online game we played with a different friend... after she had given me permission to play with others. she has pretty severe bpd and would always start fights over the pettiest things, *im* decent at turning off my brain and enduring being screamed at but she purposefully waited til our 8 year old was out to start screaming at her about things she had no knowledge of, demanding that she answer for my "crimes". after 5 hours our little was sobbing and retraumatized and begging for her to stop, and she finally stopped in the form of giving our little the extreme silent treatment as a final fuck you. that was a couple years ago but our relationship has never been the same and she has never apologized for that. she probably thinks i dont know and that she got away with it, but after the things with my partner we all started militantly sharing information and building up even better communication to stop singlets taking advantage of our symptoms. they really treat you like that one scene in memento, where the woman goes mask off saying the worst most horrible things about the main character, and then just goes outside and waits for his memory to reset and she can act like everythings normal again. other than the blatant abuses of our symptoms, these are always the most supportive people about our DID. never weird about it, respect when certain alters are out and always calls us our names etc. people youd never expect to be trying things like this against us. its been so impossible trying to figure out which singlets we can trust with knowing about specific symptoms. if we split someone new, i dont even think id tell my partner or that friend, like the new person should be atleast slightly protected from being taken advantage of if the rest of us cant.


Boredpanda6335

All abuse is terrible in general. Different types of abuses towards other people and different tactics of abuse towards other people may be worse compared to other types and tactics of abuse. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that abuse is terrible.


TonReflet

People who abuse people are horrible. The word abuse is self-explanatory. Take care of yourself and try to stay focused on what you can do, it will help you to stop the abuse circle


Icy_Argument_6110

I completely agree! I’ve had first hand experience with a friend using and manipulating me by triggering switches to get info out of an alter. It’s sick and gross.


BlazerBanzai

I had a roommate that knew I had DID that made some wild claims of things I said or did during times when there was no lost time. At first I was pretty incredulous but thought they were a friend and that my own memory was unreliable. That same roommate almost killed me in cold blood and turned out to be a delusional raging psycho. Shitty people are shitty to people, and if they know how to make you hurt and want to, they will. I feel very strongly that people with DID and other similar disassociative disorders should surround themselves with mostly sane and level-headed people who are trustworthy. Yes, they’re not as easy to bond with over life experiences or as exciting to be around but we need safe stable healthy relationships to stay regulated and in some cases, safe.


Chaotic0range

People who abuse people with DID are extra horrible people because any abuser is a horrible person, but abusing someone who is already traumatized to the point of having DID in the first place is just a special kind of deplorable. They take advantage of you and your amnesia, recognizing the symptoms before you are even aware and then you are left feeling violated all over again when you finally realize it.


AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/DID! | **[Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/rdid_guide/#wiki_rules)** | **[Guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/rdid_guide/#wiki_guidelines)** | |--------------------|--------------------| | [Dissociation FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/faq/#wiki_dissociation_faq) | [Trauma FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/faq2/#wiki_trauma_faq) | | [Moderation FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/moderation_faq/) | [Therapists Breakdown](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/comments/e6smve/therapists_breakdown/) | | [Index](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/index) | [Glossary](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/glossary) | | [Am I faking?](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/moderation_faq/amifaking) | [Do I have DID?](https://www.reddit.com/r/DID/wiki/do_i_have_did) | *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DID) if you have any questions or concerns.*


EmbarrassedPurple106

I mean, anyone who abuses anyone is a horrible person. I’m not sure why a victim having DID makes it any worse honestly


thr0w_away_space

i have DID and we’ve suspected our partner does too. he’s brought it up before and we’ve talked briefly about shared symptoms but he doesn’t want to go further into research yet. he recently cheated on me for a couple months until i found out and he still won’t admit that he might have it. despite these actions being so out of character, his own friends and mother don’t even recognize him anymore. i’ve never hurt this much over someone or something before. but i love him too much to let him go, we’ve been through too much together for it to end this way.


AmeteurChef

We should just all agree abusing people in general is bad, but they treat us worst because we are technically mentally ill. I function just fine not medicated because I spent 10 years thinking I was possessed 🤣 Whereas Skitzo needs meds. And I don't think any of us are mental ward I'll because you can function and live a normal life without meds if you want to. No hate if you need it, but some of us (probably mainly me) prefer to not have meds altering how I think Also first ex loved gaslighting and bullshitting me due to being DID and can't guaranteed something didn't happen with an Alter. We had to keep screenshots to ensure we didn't go back. Its disgusting that I felt like I couldn't remember anything due to my DID.