A dog is a 15+ year commitment. You are 17. Are you planning to take the dog when you move out? What's your plan to pay for vet care and food? Or do you plan to leave the dog behind and have your mom be financially and physically responsible for the dog?
It might be more realistic to volunteer at a local shelter so you can spend time with dogs that way, without making a huge commitment at the beginning of your adult life.
I've loved animals since I was a kid (especially from ages 8-12 I had memorised a buncb of breeds and I'd watch documentaries daily on each one) so I know it's something I am willing to commit to. This is my last highschool year and after that I'm getting into uni. I'll get the dog with me when I move out. Ik my mother can sipport my financially until I'm 18 but after that I'll get a job.
Working and volunteering is not an option. It's a very important year for me so I have to be home studying. Having a dog would be easier cuz I'm not leaving lol
Right but your life is going to get a lot more busy and unpredictable after you graduate, and care can be really expensive. A couple months ago I had to rush my dog to the emergency vet and didn't $800, and if I didn't, she would have died. Last year I suddenly had to spend $2000 on a cat for another emergency. Having a part time job doesn't equate to having thousands of dollars to spend on an emergency.
I understand that you love animals but just starting your adult life is not the best time to get a pet responsibly. So many people end up doing that and then having to give the pet up or leave it with their parents who don't want it.
I mean, you do you, but you can certainly predict that you will not have a stable enough living or financial situation for some time. If you don't have a savings account with enough money in it earmarked for emergency vet care, you shouldn't get a pet. Part of being an adult is being responsible enough to recognize this and put the needs of an animal above your desire to own one before you're financially ready.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Hun, it’s not about a willingness to commit, it’s about foreseeable capability. Your life is about to change more than you can imagine, leaving school is probably the most chaotic time in a person’s life and no one has any idea what’s coming until you’re in it and by then, if you’ve got a dog, it’s too late. What happens when you move out? If you do to study, campus residences are not pet friendly, if you live off campus or go straight to working, chances are you’ll be in a share house cause life is expensive, and share houses often don’t accept animals and if you do, you’re committing to having a helpless animal in a house with complete strangers that you have no idea how they’ll treat your dog when you’re not home. And even if, on the slim chance, that you have a perfect place to live lined up, is it lined up for the next 15 odd years? Because that’s how long you need stability and funding for to have a dog. I get it, trust me, I was in the same boat as you when I left home except I made the mistake of adopting a car and it was absolutely heart breaking when I realised I could no longer provide her a stable home and I had to hand her over to a rescue. Please don’t make the same mistake. Go volunteer at a shelter, get your pet fix without risking the wellbeing of an animal.
Donate your time at your local shelter or rescue. Yeah you'll end up with some crappy jobs, but you'll get to spend time with tons of dogs, and something to put on a resume to boot. I get the hesitant part from your mom, you're 17- next year you'll be an adult. You going away to college, finding an apartment or joining the military in a year or 2? Can't take a dog with you. And she doesn't wanna get stuck with your dog.
I love animals, and don't say no much, but when my 17 year old wanted a cat I said no bc I didn't want another animal I'm responsible for. Got enough as it is. Then we saw a mouse and I got the cat anyway lol.
I'm not going to the military, I'm a girl. Idk if you're from America or smt but I'm greek so we don't have colleges witb dorms. We have universities. If i manage to move put I'll get the dog with me. It's what I'd do with my cat. Sadly there's no tjme to volunteer cuz this school yesr is important for me snd I'm a stem major. Which essentially means rhat I'm home studying mostnof tbe time and too burned out to work after that.
Greece doesn't allow women in the military? That's crazy. But yeah, American here.
In order to help you convince your mom we'd need to know why she said no in the first place. Can't dispute what we don't know.
They allow women but it's not obligatory (while men have to go when 18 or when done with studies) so I'm not going.
My mom just doesn't like dogs cuz they're codependent
at first, my mom was so against having a dog at home.. but i stood my ground and rescued one anyway (atm i have 3 dogs, 3 cats, and fostering 4 puppies ready to be sent home to their adopters).. my mom eventually warmed up to the idea of having furfriends as it helped us bond closer and alleviate stress
Move out on your own then adopt one once you are settled into adult life. I also think you are massively under-estimating how much work a dog is compared to a cat, even for a pet dog there is a lot of training that needs to happen even for a pet dog. Then there is the routine grooming, mental and physical enrichment, walks, and all other miscellaneous parts of the dog's care that you don't get by just memorizing breeds.
I am firmly of the belief that first time dog owners should work with reputable dog breeders who can act as a mentor of sorts, being a resource throughout the dog's life that questions can be directed to. Rescue dogs are generally poorly bred and have behavioral issues of varying degrees, often first time dog owners aren't equipped to manage a dog that needs some work or have traits from multiple breeds that are potentially conflicting and frustrating the dog. Rescues can be great dogs but I would generally speaking not call them good for first time dog owners.
Part time jobs here pay less than the cost of rent so I doubt I'll be able to get my own place for another 2 years. My problem is that I'm really lonely and sad so I thjnk having someone to care for would help.
That is part of learning how to be a responsible adult, waiting until it is the right time to do something. Having a dog is a big responsibility and can be a major expense. If your mom is not interested or willing to take on the responsivities and/or the expenses, then you should not be trying to get a dog just because you are lonely and sad. In my opinion you are making a big mistake and sadly, it will be the dog that will suffer the most.
And your comment about bringing the dog with you to university, you can't bring a dog into college campuses dorms, and most apartment do not allow for dogs.
I’ll be honest, you say you’re too busy to volunteer at the dog shelter because it’s a very important year. If you can’t volunteer at the shelter for 30 mins a day, how will you have time to care for a dog?
Even low energy breeds need daily walks, mental stimulation, playtime, etc. You will definitely be devoting more than an hour a day to the dog, and if your mom doesn’t want one it wouldn’t be fair to have her do all the work for it.
Cats are typically much lower maintenance than a dog would be. Would your mom be open to another cat?
I’m sorry this isn’t the advice you were looking for! Best of luck.
It's obviously more time and energy consuming to volunteer cuz I'd have tk get ready, take the means of transport, intersct with people etc. I have time and energy to do stuff as long as it's in my neighbourhood or my house.
The cat I had was very active and codependent. She'd wake me up, she'd sit in the sink while I washed my face, she'd follow me around the house all day and whenever I sat down she'd sit on my lap and we also played together a lot (like I ran around the house and she chased me). My mother would be open to another cat but not all cats are active like that, while dogs are, and that's kinda what I need right now yk
As a dog and cat owner, who’s also spent time volunteering, I’m going to have to strongly disagree that volunteering at a shelter is more time time consuming than owning a dog. How far are you from the shelter, unless you are an hour away I just don’t see how it compares time wise. I have a high energy cat but she’s much more independent than my dog is. It’s just a different ball game to be honest, I had a dog before getting a cat and I was shocked at how much lower maintenance cats seem!
Here’s a typical day for my low energy dog.
6am: Get up to go potty. Prepare breakfast and then let breakfast settle.
7am: Playtime! She loves some play in the morning, typically chasing toys and tug-o-war. Then she gets a peanut butter kong for some enrichment.
10am: 3 mile walk. Typically takes an hour or so.
11am: Not daily, but she gets a puppy play date typically 3x a week or so. Lasts about an hour.
From noon here until dinner she’s typically tired, however 4 people live in my household. She gets let out to go potty periodically and gets attention in between. Even though she’s mellow she’ll usually initiate a short playtime session at some point between noon and dinner.
6pm/18:00: Dinner time
8pm: Dental Treat
10pm: Bed
Sometimes things can change, like if it’s getting too hot she make get her walk in the evenings instead, etc. but this is it most days.
Can you go the shelter and look for a higher energy cat? Maybe find one that’s super playful and loves attention. That way you can still have an animal to take care of and your mom will be happy too!
I’m in college so my family has 1 dog and 1 cat, and then I have a cat that is financially mine and comes to school with me too. I’d love a dog, but am waiting until I can dedicate all the time necessary to get one.
You can be a dog walker and get dog time in another way… Don’t force your parent to get such an expensive pet. That’s just not fair to them. The cost of living these days is SO HIGH… I am 35 and well established and just got my second dog of my adult life and it is expensive as helllll to take care of him. I have the means and the experience to handle it all at my age, but I would advise not getting a dog until you personally can care for it. I have a fucking masters degree and everything. Dogs require a ton of financial backing.
The cost of the damage new dogs (who are still learning manners) tend to do to houses ALONE is insanely expensive. I just replaced some carpet in the place I am renting where my pup had TWO accidents and it cost me $416 extra on my rent this month… not including his upcoming neuter (legal requirement: $400+) and then boarding him while I am traveling for work in 2 weeks ($380)…. Not including his food: $49 month, his vaccines: paid $270 for puppy visit and boosters coming up will be $50. His flea/hworm prevention will be about $20 per month for trifexxis, which is pricy but it’s bc I have to keep mosquitoes off to prevent heartworm spreading…
This stuff is required by the state. You can’t bring your dog to a dog park without the required vaccines and if you do people can and WILL (look it up) sue your pants off.
Eventually you will have the means to make this happen and get to enjoy adult life with a pup of your own. It’s totally worth it and I’ve always adored being a dog owner, but the accounting doesn’t add up for a 17 year old. You never know what financial burdens your parents may be shouldering right now. I can’t imagine paying for a teenager in this economy. It may not seem like much but… It actually is. Just sayin :)
Get her to come with you to a dog shelter. Take a donation or something and then when you are there have a look around. Rake treats. Or send her photos of dog home posts on Facebook etc.
Dogs are put to sleep daily at shelters as there are so many abandoned dogs.
Folk buy pups off breeders which keeps the breeders breeding more but a lot of dog owners give the dog up when they are no longer pups or when they get to a destructive age as they grow up.
Saving the life of a shelter dog from 1 onwards is a great idea as often they are house trained and the chewing stage is mostly behind them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat.
A dog is the most loyal of friends. I think the relationship is greater than human companionship.
I wish you every success in your quest to have a canine best bud 💚
Edited to give a great tip....
****Look up borrow my doggy!!! You can join and basically arrange to walk local dogs or to have them over, dog sit etc! Loads of dog owners work and can't afford dog walkers or have health issues that keep them from exercising their pets etc and then there are loads of folk who would love a dog but their landlord or family members won't let them or perhaps they haven't got the right circumstances for a full commitment just yet. It's a win for the dog owner, the dog volunteer and of course, more importantly, the dog!****
You need to understand that your mom makes the rules and you do not. Getting a dog is her choice no matter how much you want one.
From your replies to other posters it is clear that you do not have the time, finances, or maturity to be able to provide the care a dog needs on your own.
Get yourself a stuffed animal for now. Children have used them for comfort for years.
Once you are an adult with your own home and financial resources, you can get a dig of your own.
This is NOT ADVICE this is what I’ve done when I was your age. I bring the dog (puppy) to home at night time when my parents were in the bed. My mom walk into my room and see the puppy on my bed sleeping with me. She asked what’s that?!!!!! I replied “this is a dog” and back to sleep. My sister done the same thing :)
A dog is a 15+ year commitment. You are 17. Are you planning to take the dog when you move out? What's your plan to pay for vet care and food? Or do you plan to leave the dog behind and have your mom be financially and physically responsible for the dog? It might be more realistic to volunteer at a local shelter so you can spend time with dogs that way, without making a huge commitment at the beginning of your adult life.
I've loved animals since I was a kid (especially from ages 8-12 I had memorised a buncb of breeds and I'd watch documentaries daily on each one) so I know it's something I am willing to commit to. This is my last highschool year and after that I'm getting into uni. I'll get the dog with me when I move out. Ik my mother can sipport my financially until I'm 18 but after that I'll get a job. Working and volunteering is not an option. It's a very important year for me so I have to be home studying. Having a dog would be easier cuz I'm not leaving lol
Right but your life is going to get a lot more busy and unpredictable after you graduate, and care can be really expensive. A couple months ago I had to rush my dog to the emergency vet and didn't $800, and if I didn't, she would have died. Last year I suddenly had to spend $2000 on a cat for another emergency. Having a part time job doesn't equate to having thousands of dollars to spend on an emergency. I understand that you love animals but just starting your adult life is not the best time to get a pet responsibly. So many people end up doing that and then having to give the pet up or leave it with their parents who don't want it.
Right but I don't think we can ever predict how our life is going to go. And right now seems like a quiet time for a new start
I mean, you do you, but you can certainly predict that you will not have a stable enough living or financial situation for some time. If you don't have a savings account with enough money in it earmarked for emergency vet care, you shouldn't get a pet. Part of being an adult is being responsible enough to recognize this and put the needs of an animal above your desire to own one before you're financially ready. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Hun, it’s not about a willingness to commit, it’s about foreseeable capability. Your life is about to change more than you can imagine, leaving school is probably the most chaotic time in a person’s life and no one has any idea what’s coming until you’re in it and by then, if you’ve got a dog, it’s too late. What happens when you move out? If you do to study, campus residences are not pet friendly, if you live off campus or go straight to working, chances are you’ll be in a share house cause life is expensive, and share houses often don’t accept animals and if you do, you’re committing to having a helpless animal in a house with complete strangers that you have no idea how they’ll treat your dog when you’re not home. And even if, on the slim chance, that you have a perfect place to live lined up, is it lined up for the next 15 odd years? Because that’s how long you need stability and funding for to have a dog. I get it, trust me, I was in the same boat as you when I left home except I made the mistake of adopting a car and it was absolutely heart breaking when I realised I could no longer provide her a stable home and I had to hand her over to a rescue. Please don’t make the same mistake. Go volunteer at a shelter, get your pet fix without risking the wellbeing of an animal.
Donate your time at your local shelter or rescue. Yeah you'll end up with some crappy jobs, but you'll get to spend time with tons of dogs, and something to put on a resume to boot. I get the hesitant part from your mom, you're 17- next year you'll be an adult. You going away to college, finding an apartment or joining the military in a year or 2? Can't take a dog with you. And she doesn't wanna get stuck with your dog. I love animals, and don't say no much, but when my 17 year old wanted a cat I said no bc I didn't want another animal I'm responsible for. Got enough as it is. Then we saw a mouse and I got the cat anyway lol.
I'm not going to the military, I'm a girl. Idk if you're from America or smt but I'm greek so we don't have colleges witb dorms. We have universities. If i manage to move put I'll get the dog with me. It's what I'd do with my cat. Sadly there's no tjme to volunteer cuz this school yesr is important for me snd I'm a stem major. Which essentially means rhat I'm home studying mostnof tbe time and too burned out to work after that.
Greece doesn't allow women in the military? That's crazy. But yeah, American here. In order to help you convince your mom we'd need to know why she said no in the first place. Can't dispute what we don't know.
They allow women but it's not obligatory (while men have to go when 18 or when done with studies) so I'm not going. My mom just doesn't like dogs cuz they're codependent
at first, my mom was so against having a dog at home.. but i stood my ground and rescued one anyway (atm i have 3 dogs, 3 cats, and fostering 4 puppies ready to be sent home to their adopters).. my mom eventually warmed up to the idea of having furfriends as it helped us bond closer and alleviate stress
Bless your heart💚
Move out on your own then adopt one once you are settled into adult life. I also think you are massively under-estimating how much work a dog is compared to a cat, even for a pet dog there is a lot of training that needs to happen even for a pet dog. Then there is the routine grooming, mental and physical enrichment, walks, and all other miscellaneous parts of the dog's care that you don't get by just memorizing breeds. I am firmly of the belief that first time dog owners should work with reputable dog breeders who can act as a mentor of sorts, being a resource throughout the dog's life that questions can be directed to. Rescue dogs are generally poorly bred and have behavioral issues of varying degrees, often first time dog owners aren't equipped to manage a dog that needs some work or have traits from multiple breeds that are potentially conflicting and frustrating the dog. Rescues can be great dogs but I would generally speaking not call them good for first time dog owners.
Don't bother trying to convince her, wait until you are an adult and have your own place.
Part time jobs here pay less than the cost of rent so I doubt I'll be able to get my own place for another 2 years. My problem is that I'm really lonely and sad so I thjnk having someone to care for would help.
That is part of learning how to be a responsible adult, waiting until it is the right time to do something. Having a dog is a big responsibility and can be a major expense. If your mom is not interested or willing to take on the responsivities and/or the expenses, then you should not be trying to get a dog just because you are lonely and sad. In my opinion you are making a big mistake and sadly, it will be the dog that will suffer the most. And your comment about bringing the dog with you to university, you can't bring a dog into college campuses dorms, and most apartment do not allow for dogs.
I’ll be honest, you say you’re too busy to volunteer at the dog shelter because it’s a very important year. If you can’t volunteer at the shelter for 30 mins a day, how will you have time to care for a dog? Even low energy breeds need daily walks, mental stimulation, playtime, etc. You will definitely be devoting more than an hour a day to the dog, and if your mom doesn’t want one it wouldn’t be fair to have her do all the work for it. Cats are typically much lower maintenance than a dog would be. Would your mom be open to another cat? I’m sorry this isn’t the advice you were looking for! Best of luck.
It's obviously more time and energy consuming to volunteer cuz I'd have tk get ready, take the means of transport, intersct with people etc. I have time and energy to do stuff as long as it's in my neighbourhood or my house. The cat I had was very active and codependent. She'd wake me up, she'd sit in the sink while I washed my face, she'd follow me around the house all day and whenever I sat down she'd sit on my lap and we also played together a lot (like I ran around the house and she chased me). My mother would be open to another cat but not all cats are active like that, while dogs are, and that's kinda what I need right now yk
As a dog and cat owner, who’s also spent time volunteering, I’m going to have to strongly disagree that volunteering at a shelter is more time time consuming than owning a dog. How far are you from the shelter, unless you are an hour away I just don’t see how it compares time wise. I have a high energy cat but she’s much more independent than my dog is. It’s just a different ball game to be honest, I had a dog before getting a cat and I was shocked at how much lower maintenance cats seem! Here’s a typical day for my low energy dog. 6am: Get up to go potty. Prepare breakfast and then let breakfast settle. 7am: Playtime! She loves some play in the morning, typically chasing toys and tug-o-war. Then she gets a peanut butter kong for some enrichment. 10am: 3 mile walk. Typically takes an hour or so. 11am: Not daily, but she gets a puppy play date typically 3x a week or so. Lasts about an hour. From noon here until dinner she’s typically tired, however 4 people live in my household. She gets let out to go potty periodically and gets attention in between. Even though she’s mellow she’ll usually initiate a short playtime session at some point between noon and dinner. 6pm/18:00: Dinner time 8pm: Dental Treat 10pm: Bed Sometimes things can change, like if it’s getting too hot she make get her walk in the evenings instead, etc. but this is it most days. Can you go the shelter and look for a higher energy cat? Maybe find one that’s super playful and loves attention. That way you can still have an animal to take care of and your mom will be happy too! I’m in college so my family has 1 dog and 1 cat, and then I have a cat that is financially mine and comes to school with me too. I’d love a dog, but am waiting until I can dedicate all the time necessary to get one.
You can be a dog walker and get dog time in another way… Don’t force your parent to get such an expensive pet. That’s just not fair to them. The cost of living these days is SO HIGH… I am 35 and well established and just got my second dog of my adult life and it is expensive as helllll to take care of him. I have the means and the experience to handle it all at my age, but I would advise not getting a dog until you personally can care for it. I have a fucking masters degree and everything. Dogs require a ton of financial backing. The cost of the damage new dogs (who are still learning manners) tend to do to houses ALONE is insanely expensive. I just replaced some carpet in the place I am renting where my pup had TWO accidents and it cost me $416 extra on my rent this month… not including his upcoming neuter (legal requirement: $400+) and then boarding him while I am traveling for work in 2 weeks ($380)…. Not including his food: $49 month, his vaccines: paid $270 for puppy visit and boosters coming up will be $50. His flea/hworm prevention will be about $20 per month for trifexxis, which is pricy but it’s bc I have to keep mosquitoes off to prevent heartworm spreading… This stuff is required by the state. You can’t bring your dog to a dog park without the required vaccines and if you do people can and WILL (look it up) sue your pants off. Eventually you will have the means to make this happen and get to enjoy adult life with a pup of your own. It’s totally worth it and I’ve always adored being a dog owner, but the accounting doesn’t add up for a 17 year old. You never know what financial burdens your parents may be shouldering right now. I can’t imagine paying for a teenager in this economy. It may not seem like much but… It actually is. Just sayin :)
Get her to come with you to a dog shelter. Take a donation or something and then when you are there have a look around. Rake treats. Or send her photos of dog home posts on Facebook etc. Dogs are put to sleep daily at shelters as there are so many abandoned dogs. Folk buy pups off breeders which keeps the breeders breeding more but a lot of dog owners give the dog up when they are no longer pups or when they get to a destructive age as they grow up. Saving the life of a shelter dog from 1 onwards is a great idea as often they are house trained and the chewing stage is mostly behind them. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. A dog is the most loyal of friends. I think the relationship is greater than human companionship. I wish you every success in your quest to have a canine best bud 💚 Edited to give a great tip.... ****Look up borrow my doggy!!! You can join and basically arrange to walk local dogs or to have them over, dog sit etc! Loads of dog owners work and can't afford dog walkers or have health issues that keep them from exercising their pets etc and then there are loads of folk who would love a dog but their landlord or family members won't let them or perhaps they haven't got the right circumstances for a full commitment just yet. It's a win for the dog owner, the dog volunteer and of course, more importantly, the dog!****
You need to understand that your mom makes the rules and you do not. Getting a dog is her choice no matter how much you want one. From your replies to other posters it is clear that you do not have the time, finances, or maturity to be able to provide the care a dog needs on your own. Get yourself a stuffed animal for now. Children have used them for comfort for years. Once you are an adult with your own home and financial resources, you can get a dig of your own.
This is NOT ADVICE this is what I’ve done when I was your age. I bring the dog (puppy) to home at night time when my parents were in the bed. My mom walk into my room and see the puppy on my bed sleeping with me. She asked what’s that?!!!!! I replied “this is a dog” and back to sleep. My sister done the same thing :)
Ahaha I thought of doing smt sinilar when my mother js out of town. I'm too scared of her tho
I’ve done this just because I knew my mum will never kick the dog behind the door if you know what I mean