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supercodes83

They look pretty good for their age.


CommaHorror

Pretty good and incredibly dressed. How do I, join?!


atoraya2938

You gotta wrestle a lion, like old times.


InformalPenguinz

Ok but they didn't say how old it's gotta be. Imma punt the shit outta baby lion and join up.


Such-Pool-1329

it's fake. if it was real they would all have blond hair and blue eyes like the jesus at my church.


Platypus-13568447

Lies........ Jesus is Asian in my church!


Captain-Cadabra

Black at mine.


half-baked_axx

Jesus was a chameleon confirmed


ExpertlyAmateur

Ah, a man of culture. Many of the oldest churches in Europe depict Jesus as Asian. But that's mostly because renaissance sculptors were often ass.


Ahrily

Jesus was literally Asian by the literal definition of the word


TheKyleBrah

They also need to speak English, like the Jesus from our Bibles


[deleted]

[удалено]


TBSJJK

You should never refer to a woman as 'ancient'


Winpig

Modern Assyrians exist and speak Aramaic\*


friedwidth

Nah dude, OP said these are ancients. They grew up with their homie Jesus from way back and still live on. Just like he promised, they got everlasting life


Fign

JC made them immortals back then and that’s how they look since then.


ekhfarharris

Jesus Christ, its Jason Bourne.


Xpqp

How close is modern Aramaic to Aramaic from 2000 years ago? Middle English is already quite different from modern English and that was only 600 years ago. Old English is basically another language entirely and that was only 800 years ago.


xoXImmortalXox

Some of us speak English ... I'm 3rd generation American.


BlakeSteel

Hate to break it to you, but you are an American.


Skurttish

Por qué no los dos?


WhiskeyAndKisses

Because this is AMERICA speak english you immigrant 🔫🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸💥 /j


Skurttish

Pero la diversidad añade tanto 😢


WhiskeyAndKisses

Kind of unrelated, as an european, we had to learn at least two foreign languages, at school. I used to think americans were lucky because by learning english and spanish they mastered two whole continents I'll never be able to go to. It's only occuring to me very recently that they don't seem, in fact, to invite people to learn spanish :/ missed opportunity, I hope I'm wrong.


Troubled_Red

Most high schools in America require you to take a second language. My university also required it. It’s just that learning it for a year or two in the classroom and never practicing it outside the classroom means that most don’t retain what we learn.


Hypnotist30

Such a missed opportunity! Fun fact, though. The United States has the second largest spanish speaking population in the world & by 2036(or somewhere in the near future), the United States will have the largest spanish speaking population in the world. However, spanish is still nothing more than an elective course in high school in the US. We share a 1500-mile border with a country that hosts the largest spanish speaking population in the world! It's sad.


Von_Lincoln

They could be ethnically Assyrian, but also American citizens. Similar to how some identify as Jewish or Hispanic, in addition to their citizenship.


NeonMagic

Have you ever filled out a form that asked you your ethnicity in America? I’ve never seen “American” listed as an option.


phat_

The ones that include “white”? Yeah, no thanks. I can’t think of a seemingly innocuous part of our existence that has caused more evil in this world. There is no such thing as “white”. No place called “Whiteland”. Identifying ourselves as “whites” for all these decades has only contributed to societal division. It’s become another tool of suppression and disharmony.


FloweringSkull67

Then you’re an American…


DornPTSDkink

So American then


Hawtscot

You’re American.


bdoter

Are you As-serious?


Dagordae

Yeah, if it’s the modern day they’re just called ‘Assyrians’. I mean, would you call some random Greek people Ancient Greeks?


atoraya2938

We maintained the language and culture. And never stopped calling ourselves Assyrian. There is also a direct line of continuity. From the fall of Nineveh until today. But yes it could’ve been worded slightly better.


Emperor_Biden

Do you guys create new slangs with your language? "Yo this tiktok video is sick"


SheepH3rder69

"Behold! Thine TikTok video is sicketh."


pyffDreamz

Thanks for the hearty chuckle my friend


_party_down_

I’m down with the sicketh!


Garth_AIgar

Ancient Assyrians got no rizz for the Skibidi Ohio likes of this Beta right here. Ancient Assyrians are straight 4+4, top Sigma, pokie bears. No cap. I’m a middle aged man with two kids.


Skurttish

Does anyone speak Jive?


CosmicCreeperz

Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow!


satricalpine

[“I speak Jive!”](https://youtu.be/a6TraLJf6iw)


kapege

In the German translation they speak Bavarian.


Jiveturkei

I still do, but that’s because I’m a turkey.


EightArmed_Willy

WTF does this even mean? When did Ohio become slang?


moistenedcomputer

At the same time people started taxing fanums


ogodilovejudyalvarez

What the Delaware you talkin bout?


Garth_AIgar

You just rely on that chungus gyatt while the gigachads remain the wordsmiths of the world, broh. Brain ravin over some slang is total millennial gray, definitely not 1 2 buckle my shoe style. Get clapping! Jk. I take “Ohio” to be down and depressive or negative. To be “Skibidi Ohio” is the worst


EightArmed_Willy

My brain hurts, fuck and I’m only 32, I feel old I think my joints just started hurting


Garth_AIgar

Hahaha, I’m 34. I’ve non-sarcastically said “kids these days”.


fightingchken81

But doesn't the language change over time? There are many examples of English that isn't used today from as little as 100 years ago. Just take the lord's prayer for example, contextually it's the same, but I'm not sure I'd understand half of it if it was spoken the way it was from the 1400s. Is your language really just like when Jesus spoke it??


toetappy

He ain't gonna answer because the answer is 'yes'. Technically, it's the same language. However, you're smart enough to know that every language evolves over time. We wouldn't understand English 1000 years ago, and he definitely wouldn't understand his language 2000 years ago


SIIP00

Yes. OP is misinformed. The language(s) spoken today are versions of Aramic. Collectively called neo-aramaic. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Aramaic\_languages](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Aramaic_languages) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western\_Neo-Aramaic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Neo-Aramaic)


Ggentry9

So you prominently display the severed heads of your enemies upon the city gates to discourage rebellion?


RedPandaReturns

But what OP is asking is are you an ancient Assyrian? Or are you an Assyrian?


SirBulbasaur13

Do y’all still lop off heads and super torture people? Dan Carlins Hardcore History podcast King of Kings covers some Assyrian history. The ancient ones weren’t terribly kind.


priscala

And you don’t speak the same language Jesus used to speak. I mean, you do but just as a Swiss person even from Medieval times would have a hard time understanding my Swiss German (and vice versa), Jesus and you would have a hard time understanding each other. This was a smarty pants comment proudly presented to you by Reddit.


[deleted]

It’s nice to know that some continuing native groups get credit for their existence.


CaptAdamovka

Both ancient Greeks and modern Greeks are Greeks, it is appropriate to refer to them with the selfsame word. Their nation is still alive


Barry_Umenema

They look quite young to me 🤔


VoltaicOwl

Good skin care is important


SliceIka

Probably immortals


Magister5

So they walk around speaking in parables all day?


Weliveanddietogether

He who has ears let them hear.


jamieliddellthepoet

*Vietnam vets intensify*


Skurttish

“One day a Tik Tok influencer went out into the fields……..”


arsole_maximus

A man who lives by the reels, dies by the reel. Shareth and subsribeth.


Kriztauf

Talking about fish and loaves n shit


QueefBuscemi

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra


GlosolaliaX

😂😂


Known-Activity1437

No language has made it that long through time without changing. I’m sure it is similar, but not the same. I am by no means belittling your culture, just saying.


bkwrm1755

May not be similar at all. English from 600 years ago is pretty much unrecognizable to English speakers today.


DornPTSDkink

That depends on how much we've had to drink


dondi01

then again take italian in the same time span and it's very similar


EpilepticFire

Arabic has stayed the same throughout the years, we just have dialects but the base language that was used in the Quran (600AD) is still used today as formal and global Arabic. Those who don’t speak each others dialects (for example Moroccan/Tunisian Arabic and Gulf Arabic can understand each other if they speak with each other in formal Arabic.


sa7ouri

That’s a good point. The Arabic grammar stayed the same, but new words were introduced over the years. That’s due to the significance of the Quran in the region and basing the grammar on it. No such text exists in Aramaic, so there is nothing anchoring it to its ancient roots.


SIIP00

It is essentially a version off the language that Jesus spoke. It is not exactly the same off course. OP is somewhat misinformed. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Aramaic\_languages](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Aramaic_languages) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western\_Neo-Aramaic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Neo-Aramaic) I am a Syriac, which is pretty much the same thing as Assyrians, but that is a discussion for another time. I don't know why OP phrased it the way he did.. But here is some more information about our diaspora: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assyrian%E2%80%93Chaldean%E2%80%93Syriac\_diaspora](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assyrian%E2%80%93Chaldean%E2%80%93Syriac_diaspora)


Mayhem370z

You mean my ancestors weren't walking around saying "bruh skibiti no cap look at dat gyat!" ??


CompetitiveBend9668

There is also Hebrew


the3dverse

and Aramaic in the Talmud


MinimumApricot365

Those aren't ancient. You can tell because they aren't skeletons


MrNobleGas

"Modern day descendants of the ancient Assyrians still exist, call themselves Assyrians, and speak a descendant of the same Aramaic language spoken in the Levant at the time of Jesus" FTFY


ExtonGuy

I can’t imagine a living daily language that doesn’t evolve. Unless there is a very deliberate effort to maintain ancient language structures.


GabeLorca

Of course it evolves. How else do you think it survives? There are many other languages that maintain the structures while being modernized. Like the famously backwards and old fashioned country of Iceland that speaks what’s pretty much Old Norse. Or all the indigenous languages of the US.


atoraya2938

It definitely is a problem sometimes, however that’s why I believe it’s important to keep using the language. New words are being made and it won’t evolve if nobody uses it.


wickedishere

You're right. The English that we are speaking today has a lot of new words that weren't used 30 years ago.


WrangelLives

Some languages evolve faster than others. A text written in Old English from 1000 CE is going to be unreadable to a modern English speaker, whereas modern Icelandic and Old Norse are to a significant degree mutually intelligible.


dcchillin46

I just started Assyria by Eckhart Frahm. It seems pretty interesting. They said one of the assyrian throne rooms has the earliest depiction of a handshake known in history, 9th century bce iirc. Idk why, but I just found that super interesting, I guess someone had to be first.


Raider-Tech

But i thought Jesus spoke English


zsoltjuhos

So many things can be brought up about why your wording is wrong. For example there was England 1000 years ago, they spoke English, but that same England/English is totally different nowadays, does it mean English is extinct?


LordAxolotl-7

also their flag is pretty cool


dugerz

"Consider the lilly"


Guyincognito4269

"What's wrong with the lily?"


BEAFbetween

"He's having a go at the flowers now"


BrinkMeister

Beard game is STRONG!


ulyssesred

If Mary Magdalene was Assyrian then judging by this pictures, I’m thinking that JC would’ve taken His shot….


DaanDaanne

Aramaic and its dialects are still spoken in Iraq, Iran, Turkey and Syria mainly. The three dialects with the most speakers are Assyrian Neo-Aramaic, Surayt and Chaldean Neo-Aramaic. Most speakers are ethnic Assyrians who live in the above mentioned countries.


3000ghosts

do most people speak arabic as well or just one of the aramaic dialects? I’ve been told that one of my ancestors was assyrian and came here from iran before world war one but I don’t have any cultural connection


atoraya2938

The older generation speak arabic. Due to arabisation campaigns, they can only speak their native tongue, but are able to read, write and speak Arabic. The younger generation speak Aramaic.


android-engineer-88

To add to what you said many of us refer to ourselves as Chaldean and the language is known as Sureth. There is actually an excellent course on mango that teaches it. It's free and was made with help from the Chaldean American Chamber of Commerce https://mangolanguages.com/available-languages/chaldean-aramaic/


atoraya2938

Yes aziza, you’re correct.


lordgoofus1

I'd love to know their skin routine and diet. They look fantastic for their age!


AquaArcher273

Damm they’re ancient?! Must be thousands of years old,how is this not a bigger story we have IMMORTALS AMOUNG US!


mishmash2323

Our history teacher took us up to the British Museum when we were about 11, I was absolutely obsessed with Assyrian stuff, love the art style. What do you think about the British Museum having a lot of Assyrian artefacts OP?


atoraya2938

I think it’s a good thing. I know people will sit there and complain about the west “stealing them”. I don’t care. I’m saying this as an Assyrian, they’re not safe in the homeland. At least the British will take care of them.


BandysNutz

> I know people will sit there and complain about the west “stealing them”. I don’t care. You shouldn't. Most of the "stolen" items were actually paid for, because they were the property of local citizens who scrounged them from their burial sites. Think less mustache-twirling and more excited laborers shouting, "Fallah good news! There is a man paying real money for those old rusty coins and ceramics we found!"


atoraya2938

For anyone that has a hard time believing this, I don’t blame you. Britannnica explains it briefly: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Assyrian


ja_feel

Hey, I am Assyrian. Thanks for shouting us out. Just saw your username! Hello fellow Assyrian!


atoraya2938

Shlama akhona👋🏽


neridqe00

That was a good read. Thank you for sharing 👍


Lil_Shorto

And they are still wearing their ancient hypebeast drip.


Lil_MRSA

Cool but partially untrue. They still speak a language with its roots in the version of Aramaic that Jesus would have spoken. One wouldn’t say that anyone speaks the same language as his great-great-[add two-thousand years]-grandparents. Even an isolated language always contains an error rate that leads to it being not mutually intelligible with its earlier versions.


banananananbatman

I thought Jesus was white, spoke English, and was an American!


faustfu

Nebuchadnezzar ass beards goddamn lol


Fragrant-Astronaut57

With that logic then I am an ancient Celtic lord from the Scottish highlands. I demand my castle and serving wenches


atoraya2938

Here you go my friend: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Assyrian


WayofHatuey

Evangelical Christians in shambles. Not what they expected Jesus to resemble


kangareagle

Jesus wasn't Assyrian, though. He spoke Aramaic because everyone in that region spoke it. But I mean, yeah, of course he looked like people in the Middle East looked.


EbolaYou2

It’s a pretty well documented phenomenon that artist depictions of Jesus tend to look like the people who made the art. He probably looked middle eastern, but it doesn’t really matter in the context of the faith.


Thisisntmyaccount24

Where is the blond hair blue eyes supply side Jesus?!?


Ok-Safe-981004

People don’t like this because…. Jesus


drgaspar96

*B-b-but Jesus Christ was a white Caucasian American man*


Dick_Dickalo

Dude on the left in camo looks like the guy from Luckygunner.com.


SwaMaeg

English people exist and speak the language of Alfred the Great. But could not understand each other.


FCK_U_ALL

Ancient Assyrians died off in ancient times. Assyrians exist today.


LinceDorado

Probably like a hundred people making that joke here, but....they look pretty good for their age.


Comfortable_View_113

Speak Jesus Christ? What?


MarzipanEnjoyer

Assyrians are the best


Drewfus_

I see you purple shirt!


sociothemad

Woah Jesus made a language?!


Noctrim

How do you say “SUPREME” in Assyrian


andrey2007

It sounds like this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyO0Xpb0ZrI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyO0Xpb0ZrI)


ConcreteSlut

Fun fact: I went to college with an Assyrian girl


PityBoi57

But what is the capital of Assyria?


OrlandoGardiner118

You mean that white boy Jesus don't talk 'Murican?


joeybevosentmeovah

Jesus Christ, they’re all beautiful 


sundvl13

My co-worker is Assyrian, very warm and hospitable people. They invited me and my family to a huge wedding. Lots of fun to be around with.


Stinking-Staff8985

There'll be people unhappy to find out how jesus probably looked like


PlaxicoCN

My Mom had Assyrians as next door neighbors for years. I never met them but she said they were super cool. Is their homeland still called Assyria or was it taken over by another group/country?


atoraya2938

Obviously the land is not called that anymore. However it is still our homeland and we never stopped calling it Assyria, why stop now?


Fit-Finger1777

So, where are the blonde blue eyed people? Guess jesus wasn't an European looking dude after all...


soufianka80

I was born and raised in syria so I had a friend in high-school who spoke Aramic language and once he invited me to visit his tiny hometown or better call it a village, it's called "Jabadeen" so i accepted his invitation and went there and to my surprise every one in the village speak in Aramic and we walked around and it was really surreal experience, it's like what do you guys call it "time portal" into the past , th language sounded nothing like I have hear before and in a near-by town there was actually an institute of Aramic language where we met a German woman who took a course there and let us in her her house :) but she couldn't speak it yet !! that was way before the war


orostitute

What a name to be known by


Ok_Mulberry_8272

Is there anywhere you can hear the authentic language?


atoraya2938

Down any street in Chicago or Fairfield


rabbifuente

I’ve never heard Aramaic in Chicago with the exception of Jews reading Talmud. I have seen a few Assyrian churches however.


android-engineer-88

Always crazy to me when our people are acknowledged but I love seeing it. There is such diaspora in our community and our numbers have gotten so low. It's important we keep our traditions and heritage alive. Thanks for posting OP!


atoraya2938

No worries khona


DesiKeralaChick

Everybody is soo prettyyyy✨🤍


Zucchiniduel

And they're really hot apparently


_MoneyHustard_

Real talk though. The girl in the purple is drop dead gorgeous.


theartthehuman

What religion do the assyrian people usually follow?


atoraya2938

Assyrians became Christians in the first century and have been predominantly Christian ever since.


Weliveanddietogether

They come together and watch The Passion of the Christ by Mel Gibson without subtitles.


Skurttish

The true definition of holiness


UnluckyBat4080

Just go to Detroit and you'll find many "Assyrians" and "Persians"


Arby992

So they speak the language of love and respect


W1thoutJudgement

Oh look, they aren't "brown", curious. Also, that dude on the far left... needs to change his haircut ASAP.


atoraya2938

I agree


IPerferSyurp

Can they ask him where the fuck he's been?


ToniBee63

Hide n seek Champ going on 2000 years now!!!!!


Interesting_Okra_902

Fake news. Where are the blue eyes and blond hair?


Zorachus76

Yeah Jesus looks like Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan


kangareagle

Obviously your point is right, but speaking Aramaic is different from looking like an Assyrian. Jesus wasn't Assyrian.


ULTRAVIOLENTVIOLIN

This is a very, very interesting history. I just can't find the time to start digging in it all. Anyone else who knows good podcasts about this culture?


theironkoob

Dan Carlin King of Kings is about the Persian Empire, but the Assyrians are in the first part


ULTRAVIOLENTVIOLIN

It's on my wishlist but I'm doubting to buy it, have you read it? Edit: aaaah dumb me, it's hardcore history right? That ignited the intrest lol


theironkoob

It’s a free podcast you can just search it on the podcast app


Final-Attempt95

Assyrian empire was like the US of its time, but it made too many enemies. And all of those enemies came to pay a visit one day. Though i m glad they still managed to maintain their culture after all that mayhem.


towpa_saske

One of the many ethnicities in the iraqi melting pot


Lithiumtabasco

Fuck! they are white! I'm way too brown for this right now


Electrical_Room5091

I'll have you know Jesus had pale skin and blue eyes. He also walked on water. These people are imposters. /s


islander_guy

It is hard to believe that the language didn't change for 2000 years. In fact, it is highly probable that Jesus Christ would not understand anything a modern Aramaic speaker says.


Rimworldjobs

Hey my cuzos


Jmac0585

What's up with the dude way in the blurry back, that looks like he's on a crucifix but has a fast suit on?


dasbasst

Jesus did not speak


iam2bz2p

I speak the same language as BATMAN, so you know, same thing really.


tigerdrummer

Title gore


HoodedOccam

You know when eternal life was mentioned I don’t think this is what was meant.


tigerkingsg

Interesting


ClaidArremer

What moisturiser are they using, they look well young!


jdmmystery

🙄🤣


stuckinaboxthere

I wonder if there are modern Ishtar worshippers, or if they're all Christian at this point


CallMeDrLuv

What, is the capital of Assyria? I don't know.... Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!