I like to imagine the reason he lived so long is that every time death came to collect him his natural lubrication prevented if from gaining a firm hold on his soul.
Death sneaks up on us all… sometimes pouncing when we least suspect it and other times it slowly approaches.
As Death came for Robert, he knew his time was short. Death pounced to collect his soul at last! Only for Robert to slip through Death’s clutches yet again. As the greasy man ran away, making squealing pig noises, Death muttered, “God damn it, that slippery bastard.”
It was not uncommon in the 20th century for some people in the U.S. to swallow a glob of it every morning. I remember an older woman talking about how her mother would plop a dollop of it into her glass of orange juice at breakfast every morning and she's have to swallow it down when she finished her juice.
You can buy medical grade mineral oil as a laxative. It's what I use to oil my wooden cutting boards and spoons since it's safe to consume and doesn't go rancid or get sticky.
The Untold Story of [Vaseline and Robert Chesebrough - found it here](https://www.factynews.com/articles/stories-behind-brands-vaseline-the-untold-story-of-robert-chesebrough-and-vaselines-rise-to-ubiquity/). Before selling Vaseline, Chesebrough tested it on his own cuts and burns. To create demand, he demonstrated its effectiveness by burning his skin with acid or an open flame and then applying Vaseline to the injuries.
He claimed past injuries had healed thanks to his “miracle product.” In reality, Vaseline forms a protective layer, preventing dirt from entering wounds and retaining moisture, aiding the healing process. ([Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Chesebrough))
Remember watching parts of that episode randomly at a friend's place. Didn't know the name or the premise. Cut to finding the show, years later. Good Times.
From the Wikipedia page for the first Kevlar Body Armor:
> The company was founded in the early 1970s by U.S. Marine and pizza delivery owner/driver Richard Davis. Davis developed the idea of a bulletproof vest after shooting three armed robbers in self-defense during a delivery.
> Davis started his company out of his garage. In early sales demonstrations, he would put on one of his vests and then shoot himself, usually with a firearm provided by whatever agency he was demonstrating for.
Dudes also a con artist who sold shit armor to cops that failed. they investigated and found nearly half the armor that was sold to them was malfunctioning. Instead of fixing it, he dissolved the company and ran off with a bunch of money
If using Vaseline for wounds, its best to use an antiseptic or thoroughly wash with soap before applying it. Then it really is good for healing.
If a wound is infected while using only this, I've found it doesn't heal well and will likely leave a scar.
You betcha. Vaseline infused with bacitracin and a couple of other antibiotics. But there's drug resistant bacteria now. And people tend to leave these little bottles in the medicine cabinet for years and years. By the expiration date it's not "expired" in a dangerous sense, but it's not quite as effective. Leave it there another few years and it's a lot less effective.
This was one of the things people found out when they switched from pseudophedrine (which can be used to make meth) to phenylephrine (which can't). People would leave the boxes on the shelf for too long and then found out that phenylephrine never worked as a decongestant in the first place, even before the "expiration" date.
True story. I hadn't used Advil Cold & Sinus in some time when I got what I'm certain was the flu in 2012. I bought some Advil Cold & Sinus figuring that'd help get me as right as I could be and it did fuck all compared to how I remembered it. It was awful waiting hours for this shit to work. I then turned to Google to learn that it's because it was no longer pseudoephedrine and was instead phenylephrine, which I found to be useless for my purposes. It should be outlawed.
Phenylephrine might actually get pulled by the FDA for use as a decongestant since it doesn't really work. It does have other uses but mostly in hospital settings as a vasopressor (increases blood pressure) so it may just be pulled for OTC use altogether.
The fact these megacorps can just change the active ingredient to something that literally does nothing for you is mind boggling. All while charging more for ‘improvements’, smfh.
Well after years of heavy bribery they can just do wtf they want ig. Esp with the state the country is in it’s not going to get better. The scotus just blatantly allowed it and nothing lower than them will not be more blatantly on someone’s payroll.
They didn't really "change" the ingredient, they introduced "Sudafed PE" because Psudoephedrine had to move behind the counter, but it's definitely ridiculous they allowed it to be used for something it wasn't proven to work for.
Kind of reminds me of Robitussin - they used to use Codeine as a cough suppressant, but when that got moved to prescription only, they went to Dextromethorphan instead...
I drank the entire bottle while sick and ended up tripping balls... while coughing the entire time.
Terrible cough suppressant, but good time.
I got some Buckley's pills in a bottle, not even over the counter, just on a shelf. It was like 50 pills for 8 bucks. I was sick as fuck, I took two and I went into almost a lucid state. I was awake and moving but everything felt like a dream. I went up my stairs and it was as if I was on an escalator. It felt like I was floating up them. I asked my friend to try them because I couldn't tell if it was the pills or I was just really sick and hallucinating. He called me back the next day and told me he was absolutely blasted off two of them. I have no clue how those are legal to sell but that's the highest I've been off any cold medication. I feel like if I took a couple more I'd have a full on acid trip equivalent. They worked well though, I forgot I was sick for the rest of the day.
Apparently that's a kinda generic robitussin, you were likely lightly robotrippin'
Always read the package and don't go over the maximum dose. Even for things like asprin/paracetamol I write the last time I took any on the back of my hand so I won't forget and redose too soon. It's a habit I got into with stronger stuff, and realized it was a good idea in general.
A side effect is that sometimes when you wake up sweaty, you have 16:07 or something printed backwards on your neck or face.
> he claimed past injuries had healed thanks to his “miracle product.” In reality, Vaseline forms a protective layer, preventing dirt from entering wounds and retaining moisture, aiding the healing process.
What a strange thing to say.
"He claimed his product healed him while in acuality it was only extremely beneficial to the healing process!"
That stuff actually works. Went on a very strenuous hike one day, knee was giving me all kinds of trouble. Finally got home, slathered some all around my knee and in minutes it stopped hurting. I swear by it now lmao
A podiatrist told me Vicks can kill toenail fungus, but you have to wait at least 6 months to see results. I’m on 2 weeks, cheaper than Lamisil anyway.
My wife swears by this as well and I’ve given up pointing out that:
a) she also uses the rub as directed (i.e. applying it to the chest and back), and
b) she usually applies the Vaporub to the kids’ feet when they’re a few days into a head-cold, meaning that they’d probably feel better the following day even if she did nothing.
It’s about as medically useful as giving them flat 7-Up.
I hate reddit so much these days. The top replies to you are all the same shitty joke involving some pun relating to being slippery. Yall need more restraint before you post your comments lmao no one wants to hear the 10th iteration of an already boring joke. Or maybe I'm just an old man ranting who knows
Takes less than 10 seconds to scroll down really quick to see if 100 other Redditors made the same low hanging fruit joke.
This dumb shit is taking over some of the more informational / serious subs too I hate it.
Yeah, it wasn't always like this. I'm 31, and I always feel too old when I go on here. It's either gross out humor, lame puns or when someone does actually try to engage with the topic, they give a very surface level take that makes me think they didn't really put any time into educating themselves on what they're talking about
yeah that's my main issue, like you *can* make jokes of course, we're all just browsing here in our spare time. But I feel like maybe 5-10 years ago the higher voted comments would be the ones with actual information relating to the post.
Now it just seems like a race to make the stupidest and most obvious joke about the topic, and all possible variation of it. It makes me feel like I'm just some old man yelling at kids though when I complain about it lol
One of my cats cannot produce a hairball to save her life. Every now and again she goes through a period where she weezes a lot, but nothing ever comes up. We tried all sorts of hairball products, but nothing worked. In the end, I put a tiny bit of vaseline on my finger and she licked it off - the next day, she did a furry poo and stopped weezing.
Now whenever she weezes, I give her a tiny bit of vaseline (she apparently enjoys the flavour), she does a furry poo and problem solved
My first dog had a constipation issue that pumpkin and sweet potato didn't help. We ordered dog laxative from a reputable vet site and the tube came, I read it; it was just beef-flavored petroleum jelly but worked pretty well.
lol I was gonna say i didn’t expect to read “furry poo” to previous comment but I also didn’t expect to read that phrase either. A lot of mad libs phrases here.
I do the same!!! It works great for my cat’s hairballs. My childhood cat LOVED the taste of it so much though, if you ever put it on your elbows or feet she would sneak up behind you to lick it off 😵💫
Just commenting to check - did you already get your kitty checked for asthma? It's surprisingly common in cats and wheezing or having hairballs more than a couple times a year are the main symptoms. Recently stumbled across a video from a vet if you'd like to see examples etc (not a vet myself!)
And chaffed thighs. I thought I was going to be in pain for a week after walking all over a theme park with shorts that rode up unexpectedly. A lady in the hotel shop told me to use Vaseline and I added ice packs to the area as well. By the next day I could walk without wanting to cry again.
Going hiking? Rub some on your feet and toes before you put on your hiking socks and you’ll remain blister free. It feels weird to start with but you’ll soon forget it’s there.
My grandfather became ill when he was in his 90s. We tried smearing him from head to foot with Vaseline. He went down hill quite quickly after that.
(C) Milton Jones
My mom used it on her skin at night and she had the skin of a 35 year old at 75. She'd go to sleep looking so shiny.
All the home care people who came in to put her to bed started copying her because her skin was so nice, she started a local trend!
But she was a back sleeper. Obviously I tried it plenty but I'm a side sleeper which was a disaster for my pillows, so no can do.
But if you're a back sleeper its not a bad idea at all.
Doesn’t hurt the neck as far as I can tell, but I always wake up on my back or side in the morning so I assume that at some point it becomes uncomfortable and my body adjusts!
I've never heard of this but [Cleveland Clinic](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/slugging) seems to think it may work. Sounds like a hassle. I think I'll just stay ugly.
Ok but then what does she do when she’s all slimy?? I can’t imagine putting on even a robe. How do you clean that robe? I have many questions. It sounds like a mess:)
Honestly, it's great for most skin conditions. I've used it for my eczema for years.
Nothing else worked. Tried every product known to man. Everything irritates my skin. But vaseline just works. Cheap as hell, completely neutral, gets no reaction from the skin. Just acts as a defensive layer that allows what little moisture the skin has naturally to not evaporate, keeps dirt and bacteria out, and thus the skin can function normally.
Great stuff.
My grandfather was stationed for a short while in Syria during WW2. He was a mechanic for the RAF.
I always heard this amazing story where a local shepherd came hobbling over to their tent screaming in agony because he’d accidentally hacked half his heel off with a machete.
There not being any doctors nearby but still wanting to help, my grandfather apparently grabbed a tub of Vaseline there were using for grease, filled in the hole in this blokes’s foot with a handful of it, and wrapped it up tight.
Apparently it worked! No infection and the guy was back walking after a few weeks! He ended up leaving tubs of the stuff to locals after he left
I've been ingesting this for years. It really does have great properties and I have noticed positive changes in my body since I started doing so! You'd be amazed at the benefits. Perfect to put on sores, very dry areas and to keep nasty areas from getting infected. I just really hate the taste so I just put it in my ass.
It is…My grandpa had dementia and he was asking for Vaseline because he said he had difficulty passing stool. This was in the early 2000’s and we all thought it was the dementia talking. Turns out people actually do that in the past. They would eat Vaseline as it would act a laxative…
A teaspoon of psyllium husk in a little soup of wet food, once a day. Works on holding diarrhea together, **and** makes stool passing smoother too. It's been a miracle worker for our elderly cat with a sensitive GI tract.
Careful though: more than a teaspoon and you find yourself in high chances of *creating* explosive diarrhea.
I know a girl who thinks of ghosts,
She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast.
But she don't use butter.
And she don't use cheese.
She don't use jelly, or any of these.
She uses Vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline
LOL. He didn't really invent it. Petroleum jelly is a waste product from oil refining. No one knew what to do with it and it was often thrown away by the refineries. Then he came along and figured out how to make a product that he could sell out of garbage. His base cost was essentially zero, so he made a ton of money out of selling it.
This sort of thing has happened more often than you might expect. In the 19th century, coal tar was a waste product of gasifying coal, which was the first public lighting technology. Coal tar is nasty stuff, but became the basis for many commercial products, including essentially all of the modern fabric dye industry. Industrial giants such as BASF were created on it's products.
To be fair, Vaseline is a product that everyone should have in their medicine cabinet. One of the best things to protect mild to moderate burns as they are recovering and very helpful for stubborn skin dryness. Also, a wonderful spring lubricant.
I still use it on my post op patients. It’s great hydration, plus it keeps dressings from removing healthy tissues. A lot of my patients swear by it softening scar tissues.
He didn't invent petroleum jelly, he figured out how to market it. Petroleum jelly had been used by Native Americans long before Cheseborough came along.
When do u put it on? Seems like it would be uncomfortable to me, being greasy and all. I'm serious, not trying to be funny or rude. I may want to try it..
Thank you for the questions.
I put it on after the shower and at first it is a little slimy but it absorbs quickly into your skin leaving you with the softest skin ever.
From my personal experience it really is. It's simply so neutral. Every other product tends to have a dozen ingredients, any of which can agitate sensitive skin. But vaseline just sits there doing nothing except acting like a shield against outside agitators and damage.
>he ordered his nurse to cover him from head to toe in the substance
"Cover me in Vaseline!"
"But sir, you're having problems with your lungs..."
"SHUT UP! COVER ME IN VASELINE, WOMAN!"
> Does Vaseline have any medicinal properties
chemically similar to proteins in our skin, it's a good choice for treating everything from chapped lips to dry cuticles, hands and feet
i think quite alot alot of todays medicine have some kind of vaseline or substitute in them.
If you have large healing wounds or just drying skin(which comes with certain problems) then anclosing and keeping the area wet is quite a big part of healing.
It's reduces TEWL (trans epidermal water loss) more than anything else skin tolerable, except maybe solid stufd like saran wrap. Good at keeping things in and out.
You've never covered yourself with Vaseline? ...You don't know what you're missing. I've got it all over. It's down in my boots. I can feel it squishing between my toes.
Not a doctor, but my understanding is that pleurisy largely clears up on its own. If it's bacterial or fungal, you might get treated for that, but generally the inflammation eventually subsides.
Maybe he just wanted an excuse to get a nurse to slather up his entire body.
GREASE ME UP, WOMAN!
......Okie dokie
[That line.](https://pinkpineappleworks.myshopify.com/cdn/shop/files/947.png?v=1684763712&width=1445)
There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!
My retirement grease!
I like to imagine the reason he lived so long is that every time death came to collect him his natural lubrication prevented if from gaining a firm hold on his soul.
IRL greased up deaf guy
See you all next year
*never gonna catch me*
You’re wasting your time
"I'm touching all the candy!"
Death: "Slippery bastard."
Death sneaks up on us all… sometimes pouncing when we least suspect it and other times it slowly approaches. As Death came for Robert, he knew his time was short. Death pounced to collect his soul at last! Only for Robert to slip through Death’s clutches yet again. As the greasy man ran away, making squealing pig noises, Death muttered, “God damn it, that slippery bastard.”
He definitely never suffered from constipation, that's for sure.
Dude was well lubricated top to bottom, inside and out. Ran like a well-oiled machine for decades.
To prove this point, he made an engine sound with his mouth everywhere he walked
Not to mention the exhaust
That was a man that never trusted a fart in his life
He definitely wore two pair of underwear at a time 🤣🤣
Like a lean mean vaseline machine
Dude had an asshole like a waterslide.
It was not uncommon in the 20th century for some people in the U.S. to swallow a glob of it every morning. I remember an older woman talking about how her mother would plop a dollop of it into her glass of orange juice at breakfast every morning and she's have to swallow it down when she finished her juice.
You can buy medical grade mineral oil as a laxative. It's what I use to oil my wooden cutting boards and spoons since it's safe to consume and doesn't go rancid or get sticky.
People sometimes build a PC in an aquarium, and fill it with mineral oil. It looks like water, but it’s not conductive.
That was a thing in the 00s, but people very quickly figured out that it destroys motherboards.
i want my 10s back
How? Seems like he could have passed a bowling ball with his health habits.
The Untold Story of [Vaseline and Robert Chesebrough - found it here](https://www.factynews.com/articles/stories-behind-brands-vaseline-the-untold-story-of-robert-chesebrough-and-vaselines-rise-to-ubiquity/). Before selling Vaseline, Chesebrough tested it on his own cuts and burns. To create demand, he demonstrated its effectiveness by burning his skin with acid or an open flame and then applying Vaseline to the injuries. He claimed past injuries had healed thanks to his “miracle product.” In reality, Vaseline forms a protective layer, preventing dirt from entering wounds and retaining moisture, aiding the healing process. ([Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Chesebrough))
Now that’s real dedication 😎the guy was apparently a badass.
Oh yeah, I bet I could live to 96 if I had a nurse coating me head to head every day in it
Moisturiiiiizze me
I want to be puuuuuuuuure
SICKNESS BE GONE!
🎶AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!🎶 Does that sound like someone who needs to be in the hospital?
😂 first thing that popped in my head
👁️ 👁️ 👄
Oh my daleks
Lmao, that's perfect 🤣
*You're a tall drink of water! And I just love moissssstuahhhh*
Doctor who?
Yes
Remember watching parts of that episode randomly at a friend's place. Didn't know the name or the premise. Cut to finding the show, years later. Good Times.
Doctor Yes?
Unexpected, but welcomed, Who reference
You deserve to live forever.
Perhaps even 97? A full rub down every day sounds relaxing
"Coating me head to head"
Head to head, toe to toe, let's get Vaseline all aglow! 😂
>head to head 😏
What's next? 69 in Vaseline?
Wait til you hear about the guy who made Kevlar body armor
….. shit…. What about him…? I gotta google him now lol
From the Wikipedia page for the first Kevlar Body Armor: > The company was founded in the early 1970s by U.S. Marine and pizza delivery owner/driver Richard Davis. Davis developed the idea of a bulletproof vest after shooting three armed robbers in self-defense during a delivery. > Davis started his company out of his garage. In early sales demonstrations, he would put on one of his vests and then shoot himself, usually with a firearm provided by whatever agency he was demonstrating for.
Ok, that guy is badass.
Three armed robbers for a pizza delivery driver? Clearly the pizza chef is *also* a badass.
Dudes also a con artist who sold shit armor to cops that failed. they investigated and found nearly half the armor that was sold to them was malfunctioning. Instead of fixing it, he dissolved the company and ran off with a bunch of money
[удалено]
This guy should be president
Made his nurse cover him in kevlar every day
He shot himself in the head then put kevlar over the wound to prove its healing properties
He would demonstrate the armor to police departments by having one of them shoot him. Man was truly insane. Richard Davis was his name.
If using Vaseline for wounds, its best to use an antiseptic or thoroughly wash with soap before applying it. Then it really is good for healing. If a wound is infected while using only this, I've found it doesn't heal well and will likely leave a scar.
Isn't neosporin basically just Vaseline with antibacterial agents in it?
You betcha. Vaseline infused with bacitracin and a couple of other antibiotics. But there's drug resistant bacteria now. And people tend to leave these little bottles in the medicine cabinet for years and years. By the expiration date it's not "expired" in a dangerous sense, but it's not quite as effective. Leave it there another few years and it's a lot less effective. This was one of the things people found out when they switched from pseudophedrine (which can be used to make meth) to phenylephrine (which can't). People would leave the boxes on the shelf for too long and then found out that phenylephrine never worked as a decongestant in the first place, even before the "expiration" date.
True story. I hadn't used Advil Cold & Sinus in some time when I got what I'm certain was the flu in 2012. I bought some Advil Cold & Sinus figuring that'd help get me as right as I could be and it did fuck all compared to how I remembered it. It was awful waiting hours for this shit to work. I then turned to Google to learn that it's because it was no longer pseudoephedrine and was instead phenylephrine, which I found to be useless for my purposes. It should be outlawed.
Phenylephrine might actually get pulled by the FDA for use as a decongestant since it doesn't really work. It does have other uses but mostly in hospital settings as a vasopressor (increases blood pressure) so it may just be pulled for OTC use altogether.
The fact these megacorps can just change the active ingredient to something that literally does nothing for you is mind boggling. All while charging more for ‘improvements’, smfh. Well after years of heavy bribery they can just do wtf they want ig. Esp with the state the country is in it’s not going to get better. The scotus just blatantly allowed it and nothing lower than them will not be more blatantly on someone’s payroll.
They didn't really "change" the ingredient, they introduced "Sudafed PE" because Psudoephedrine had to move behind the counter, but it's definitely ridiculous they allowed it to be used for something it wasn't proven to work for.
Kind of reminds me of Robitussin - they used to use Codeine as a cough suppressant, but when that got moved to prescription only, they went to Dextromethorphan instead... I drank the entire bottle while sick and ended up tripping balls... while coughing the entire time. Terrible cough suppressant, but good time.
I got some Buckley's pills in a bottle, not even over the counter, just on a shelf. It was like 50 pills for 8 bucks. I was sick as fuck, I took two and I went into almost a lucid state. I was awake and moving but everything felt like a dream. I went up my stairs and it was as if I was on an escalator. It felt like I was floating up them. I asked my friend to try them because I couldn't tell if it was the pills or I was just really sick and hallucinating. He called me back the next day and told me he was absolutely blasted off two of them. I have no clue how those are legal to sell but that's the highest I've been off any cold medication. I feel like if I took a couple more I'd have a full on acid trip equivalent. They worked well though, I forgot I was sick for the rest of the day.
Apparently that's a kinda generic robitussin, you were likely lightly robotrippin' Always read the package and don't go over the maximum dose. Even for things like asprin/paracetamol I write the last time I took any on the back of my hand so I won't forget and redose too soon. It's a habit I got into with stronger stuff, and realized it was a good idea in general. A side effect is that sometimes when you wake up sweaty, you have 16:07 or something printed backwards on your neck or face.
>then found out that phenylephrine never worked as a decongestant in the first place Everyone who actually needed decongestant has known this forever.
Yeah I've found the same thing with polysporin. You can accidentally trap bacteria inside just as easily as outside.
Times were tough back then, back when men would burn themselves to make a nickle. Now they only burn themselves for tiktok.
> he claimed past injuries had healed thanks to his “miracle product.” In reality, Vaseline forms a protective layer, preventing dirt from entering wounds and retaining moisture, aiding the healing process. What a strange thing to say. "He claimed his product healed him while in acuality it was only extremely beneficial to the healing process!"
So in reality it actually did what it advertised. You wrote as if he was bullshitting
One spoon of Vaseline a day.. keeps the doctors away!
[удалено]
Along with Vicks vaporub. Makes you practically immortal
Vicks vapor rub is petroleum jelly with some essential oils.
You're telling me after all this time Vicks vaporub basically is fancy scented Vaseline?
It's the Dark Souls of lube.
If Vicks is the Dark Souls of lube, I wonder what Tiger Balm would be.
Shadow of the erdtree
That stuff actually works. Went on a very strenuous hike one day, knee was giving me all kinds of trouble. Finally got home, slathered some all around my knee and in minutes it stopped hurting. I swear by it now lmao
Tiger balm works great with Arnicare too (I use it to get rid of bruises but it's great for joint pain too)
Vicks is great for foot fungal infections because the eucalyptus and menthol oils have natural antiseptic/antifungal properties.
A podiatrist told me Vicks can kill toenail fungus, but you have to wait at least 6 months to see results. I’m on 2 weeks, cheaper than Lamisil anyway.
Makes you feel real cool if you smell it on ecstasy as well.
90's vicks masks at clubs for the win! Those poor souls who used the sticks lol.
I laughed when my mam told me to rub Vicks into my babies feet and put her socks back on overnight to clear her stuffy nose. It worked.
My wife swears by this as well and I’ve given up pointing out that: a) she also uses the rub as directed (i.e. applying it to the chest and back), and b) she usually applies the Vaporub to the kids’ feet when they’re a few days into a head-cold, meaning that they’d probably feel better the following day even if she did nothing. It’s about as medically useful as giving them flat 7-Up.
Oh snap! Flat 7-Up! And some Saltines. Children of the 70s unite!
Huh, by the time it got to me it was just regular 7-Up and saltines, and not as a cure all, just as a "probably won't throw it up."
Latino's and Filipinos agree about Vicks being used to cure everything. Muscle ache? Rub Vicks on it. Cold? Use Vicks. Etc
But if you’re Filipino, you have to pronounce Vicks properly… Bicks.
Too slippery for Death to grab.
Sudocrem invented in Ireland is a similar product. Its magical stuff
What if he was right tho? I want answers. I WANT THE TRUTH.
Are you sure you can handle the truth?
Ah fuck. Now that you put it that way - I am now uncertain of my ability to handle the truth.
if you can't handle the truth, perhaps you need some vaseline
Just be careful on truths about vaseline, they are slippery.
I hate reddit so much these days. The top replies to you are all the same shitty joke involving some pun relating to being slippery. Yall need more restraint before you post your comments lmao no one wants to hear the 10th iteration of an already boring joke. Or maybe I'm just an old man ranting who knows
Takes less than 10 seconds to scroll down really quick to see if 100 other Redditors made the same low hanging fruit joke. This dumb shit is taking over some of the more informational / serious subs too I hate it.
Yeah, it wasn't always like this. I'm 31, and I always feel too old when I go on here. It's either gross out humor, lame puns or when someone does actually try to engage with the topic, they give a very surface level take that makes me think they didn't really put any time into educating themselves on what they're talking about
yeah that's my main issue, like you *can* make jokes of course, we're all just browsing here in our spare time. But I feel like maybe 5-10 years ago the higher voted comments would be the ones with actual information relating to the post. Now it just seems like a race to make the stupidest and most obvious joke about the topic, and all possible variation of it. It makes me feel like I'm just some old man yelling at kids though when I complain about it lol
Oil is generally good for you. Coconut oil, black seed oil, Vaseline...
Damn, imagine how long he could have lived if he wasn't eating fucking Vaseline.
Sir Greasypoops
He sure had a nice slide!
Shit comes out like butter
Nah Valosine is non toxic and even approved by the FDA for human consumption. I’d wager it did little more to him than a laxative would.
One of my cats cannot produce a hairball to save her life. Every now and again she goes through a period where she weezes a lot, but nothing ever comes up. We tried all sorts of hairball products, but nothing worked. In the end, I put a tiny bit of vaseline on my finger and she licked it off - the next day, she did a furry poo and stopped weezing. Now whenever she weezes, I give her a tiny bit of vaseline (she apparently enjoys the flavour), she does a furry poo and problem solved
My first dog had a constipation issue that pumpkin and sweet potato didn't help. We ordered dog laxative from a reputable vet site and the tube came, I read it; it was just beef-flavored petroleum jelly but worked pretty well.
Didn't expect to read the phrase beef-flavored petroleum jelly today, but here we are.
lol I was gonna say i didn’t expect to read “furry poo” to previous comment but I also didn’t expect to read that phrase either. A lot of mad libs phrases here.
I do the same!!! It works great for my cat’s hairballs. My childhood cat LOVED the taste of it so much though, if you ever put it on your elbows or feet she would sneak up behind you to lick it off 😵💫
Just commenting to check - did you already get your kitty checked for asthma? It's surprisingly common in cats and wheezing or having hairballs more than a couple times a year are the main symptoms. Recently stumbled across a video from a vet if you'd like to see examples etc (not a vet myself!)
Are you telling me eating Vaseline cures asthma? Right what's the biggest tub you can buy off jeff Bezos
Pretty fucking big. There is a 5 gallon industrial tub of petroleum jelly that Jeff is selling.
i bet he didnt eat it. dude was baitin' it and made a cover story to explain why he had to keep making more.
GO AWAY! BAITIN'!!
The best stuff for chapped lips
And chaffed thighs. I thought I was going to be in pain for a week after walking all over a theme park with shorts that rode up unexpectedly. A lady in the hotel shop told me to use Vaseline and I added ice packs to the area as well. By the next day I could walk without wanting to cry again.
I use it before going out when I'm expecting to walk a lot too! It helps a ton in preventing chafing.
Going hiking? Rub some on your feet and toes before you put on your hiking socks and you’ll remain blister free. It feels weird to start with but you’ll soon forget it’s there.
Agreed. I did this every day in my Camino de Compostela pilgrimage. Only day I got blisters (and big ones) was when I forgot to lubricate.
I feel like it’s good to lock the moisture in but not as an actual moisturizer, you should apply it on top of whatever you use for chapped lips
Nah, I've always had really bad chapped lips untill I started applying vaseline on my lips every night. I don't use anything else.
My grandfather became ill when he was in his 90s. We tried smearing him from head to foot with Vaseline. He went down hill quite quickly after that. (C) Milton Jones
And, at 96, he slipped away.
My mother in law slathers herself in it. I will say that she is 80 and has hardly any wrinkles
My mom used it on her skin at night and she had the skin of a 35 year old at 75. She'd go to sleep looking so shiny. All the home care people who came in to put her to bed started copying her because her skin was so nice, she started a local trend! But she was a back sleeper. Obviously I tried it plenty but I'm a side sleeper which was a disaster for my pillows, so no can do. But if you're a back sleeper its not a bad idea at all.
I sleep on my stomach. No way that will do.
Idk if I've ever met a stomach sleeper! Do you just turn your head throughout the night? Does it hurt your neck?? I'm so curious lol
Doesn’t hurt the neck as far as I can tell, but I always wake up on my back or side in the morning so I assume that at some point it becomes uncomfortable and my body adjusts!
It’s a thing in the skincare world. Look up “slugging.”
I've never heard of this but [Cleveland Clinic](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/slugging) seems to think it may work. Sounds like a hassle. I think I'll just stay ugly.
My nan used it the same way and her skin was incredible at 86.
Ok but then what does she do when she’s all slimy?? I can’t imagine putting on even a robe. How do you clean that robe? I have many questions. It sounds like a mess:)
T pose in the living room naked until the slime dries
This guy's hoping for stories of naked octagenerian
He just wanted to be pure!
Came here ready to make the exact comment - thank you :D
Works miracles for preventing diaper rash
Honestly, it's great for most skin conditions. I've used it for my eczema for years. Nothing else worked. Tried every product known to man. Everything irritates my skin. But vaseline just works. Cheap as hell, completely neutral, gets no reaction from the skin. Just acts as a defensive layer that allows what little moisture the skin has naturally to not evaporate, keeps dirt and bacteria out, and thus the skin can function normally. Great stuff.
My grandfather was stationed for a short while in Syria during WW2. He was a mechanic for the RAF. I always heard this amazing story where a local shepherd came hobbling over to their tent screaming in agony because he’d accidentally hacked half his heel off with a machete. There not being any doctors nearby but still wanting to help, my grandfather apparently grabbed a tub of Vaseline there were using for grease, filled in the hole in this blokes’s foot with a handful of it, and wrapped it up tight. Apparently it worked! No infection and the guy was back walking after a few weeks! He ended up leaving tubs of the stuff to locals after he left
So how does one accidentally hack into their own heel with a machete?
Chopping crops or cutting branches, whiff, boom hole in heel
Slippery fella
Death wanted to take him but he couldn't get a grip on him...
I've been ingesting this for years. It really does have great properties and I have noticed positive changes in my body since I started doing so! You'd be amazed at the benefits. Perfect to put on sores, very dry areas and to keep nasty areas from getting infected. I just really hate the taste so I just put it in my ass.
whats your method? just a dab on a fingertip? industrial grade Ryobi 18v grease gun?
Well, fingertip, but that may soon change. Tell me of this industrial grease gun.
As someone who has had pleurisy, I can only say that having a nurse rub him down with Vaseline probably didn't help his illness.
"Oh do my balls again Nurse Betty; you know, the pleurisy and all ..."
Oh…. It helped 😏
The greasings will continue until health improves
He ate it? Yikes
His dookies must have come out like they were on a water slide.
Everyone knows that lubed up dookies are the key to longevity
"lubed up dookies". Well that's enough Internet for today...
Mmmm petroleum.
I guess it’s probably a laxative?
It is…My grandpa had dementia and he was asking for Vaseline because he said he had difficulty passing stool. This was in the early 2000’s and we all thought it was the dementia talking. Turns out people actually do that in the past. They would eat Vaseline as it would act a laxative…
The "hairball gel" you can buy today for cats is flavored Vaseline. Naturally our one cat that really suffers from hairballs won't touch it.
A teaspoon of psyllium husk in a little soup of wet food, once a day. Works on holding diarrhea together, **and** makes stool passing smoother too. It's been a miracle worker for our elderly cat with a sensitive GI tract. Careful though: more than a teaspoon and you find yourself in high chances of *creating* explosive diarrhea.
Yes, some dogs love it and if they get into a jar they will paint the walls and floor.
Yea it would not be toxic or harmful as far as we know to eat but......yuck.... It would just pass through you.
I know a girl who thinks of ghosts, She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast. But she don't use butter. And she don't use cheese. She don't use jelly, or any of these. She uses Vaseline Vaseline Vaseline
he uses va-a-aseline
LOL. He didn't really invent it. Petroleum jelly is a waste product from oil refining. No one knew what to do with it and it was often thrown away by the refineries. Then he came along and figured out how to make a product that he could sell out of garbage. His base cost was essentially zero, so he made a ton of money out of selling it. This sort of thing has happened more often than you might expect. In the 19th century, coal tar was a waste product of gasifying coal, which was the first public lighting technology. Coal tar is nasty stuff, but became the basis for many commercial products, including essentially all of the modern fabric dye industry. Industrial giants such as BASF were created on it's products.
He discovered it like Columbus discovered America
Just like Marmite.
That is what my stepmom told me about Sandy Duncan. She ate or claimed to eat some every day and she also claimed to put it on her whole body.
To be fair, Vaseline is a product that everyone should have in their medicine cabinet. One of the best things to protect mild to moderate burns as they are recovering and very helpful for stubborn skin dryness. Also, a wonderful spring lubricant.
Spring lubricant? It doesn’t work the rest of the year?
I still use it on my post op patients. It’s great hydration, plus it keeps dressings from removing healthy tissues. A lot of my patients swear by it softening scar tissues.
You're never gonna catch me!
Dude never had constipation a day in his life....
He didn't invent petroleum jelly, he figured out how to market it. Petroleum jelly had been used by Native Americans long before Cheseborough came along.
I put it all over my body everyday. Glad to see evidence supporting my decision.
When do u put it on? Seems like it would be uncomfortable to me, being greasy and all. I'm serious, not trying to be funny or rude. I may want to try it..
Thank you for the questions. I put it on after the shower and at first it is a little slimy but it absorbs quickly into your skin leaving you with the softest skin ever.
My skin specialist swears by it. Reckons it's better than most expensive skin balms Sol's.
From my personal experience it really is. It's simply so neutral. Every other product tends to have a dozen ingredients, any of which can agitate sensitive skin. But vaseline just sits there doing nothing except acting like a shield against outside agitators and damage.
Am I the only person who read his name as “Cheeseburger” at the first glance?
I own a shit ton of stock w that company! Great product 😆I buy it by the 55gallon drum full
>he ordered his nurse to cover him from head to toe in the substance "Cover me in Vaseline!" "But sir, you're having problems with your lungs..." "SHUT UP! COVER ME IN VASELINE, WOMAN!"
Works for my psoriasis
Does Vaseline have any medicinal properties??
> Does Vaseline have any medicinal properties chemically similar to proteins in our skin, it's a good choice for treating everything from chapped lips to dry cuticles, hands and feet
i think quite alot alot of todays medicine have some kind of vaseline or substitute in them. If you have large healing wounds or just drying skin(which comes with certain problems) then anclosing and keeping the area wet is quite a big part of healing.
It's reduces TEWL (trans epidermal water loss) more than anything else skin tolerable, except maybe solid stufd like saran wrap. Good at keeping things in and out.
>He lived to be 96. Yeah... but not 97!
You've never covered yourself with Vaseline? ...You don't know what you're missing. I've got it all over. It's down in my boots. I can feel it squishing between my toes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USax223l7wM
Upvote if you’re now considering a Vaseline smoothie.
Not a doctor, but my understanding is that pleurisy largely clears up on its own. If it's bacterial or fungal, you might get treated for that, but generally the inflammation eventually subsides. Maybe he just wanted an excuse to get a nurse to slather up his entire body.