A year ago, I was a broken shell of a person. Every day felt like hell, but slowly it got better. As I rounded the bases of anniversaries and celebrations without him, it got a little easier. I’m now on the tail end of the year apart, and ultimately divorced from him.
Emotionally, the whiplash is still intense; however, I did myself a favor by moving to a place I didn’t know anyone to start over. Slowly, it’s gotten more and more bearable. But I am so proud of myself that I did this all on my own. I haven’t failed yet, and that’s without a support system, completely starting my life over at 33 years old. I’ll be 35 in June and I’m proud of myself for what I’ve done on my own, even if it doesn’t seem like much to others.
This didn’t break me. This too shall pass.
A friend of mine just commented to me that he can sense the growth in me through this process. Only 10 weeks in so far, I am determined that I will improve from all this pain.
Which was very affirming to me that I am starting to heal and even through there is a long road ahead I am so far on the right path.
Keep going! Give yourself time and space. Healing for me was not linear, and I went backwards in the process too many times to count. But it’s so much better today.
Thank you for this. Every time I think I’ve made progress healing, I take about ten steps backwards. I’m so happy to hear from folks further down the road who have come to some peace. 🙏
I'm still in the process.. I hope it get easier. I never thought I'd say goodbye to her, ever, never thought it would get this far because I thought we could fix anything together, but sometimes I guess you can't. A huge part of me is her and it feels like I lost of part of me I'll never get back.
Im 30 now, I was 26 when my first marriage ended.
I fought the inevitability of my divorce for 6+ months. I begged my ex every day to change his mind, to let me try to fix things. Before I inevitably moved in with my parents. The following month I met my current husband.
It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. And when we met I didn’t think it would be love or even a second marriage. He was also going through a brutal divorce of his own. So we had some common ground and it naturally came together. It still took us time to figure out what we wanted and to be sure we were willing to risk remarrying. But so far so good.
Thanks for posting. Hard to believe though. I don’t think I can carry on. I have a feeling I’m going to spiral even more into darkness when I’m forced to move out. What’s the point of living? I’ll stay alive for my son, but he seems to be losing her too.
An absolute waking nightmare. I could cry and moan all day. This is hell. There is no god to help us. We are all so fucked up in our own psychological worlds. It’s hopeless. Despite it all I do hope my boys live happy lives and don’t have to taste the perpetual misery I live in. Black. That’s all.
Im sorry. I don’t know your specific circumstances and I won’t pretend to. However, my divorce was initiated when my husband fell out of love. We had other problems and ultimately I think things worked out in my best interests. However, I thought then, and I think now marriage should be a deeper commitment than that. It should be about waking up and choosing to stay married even when it’s hard, even when the grass looks greener on the other side. Fluctuation in feelings through various circumstances in life are bound to happen in every relationship. I don’t think divorce will solve your problems, but I also don’t know you. I’d seriously consider both personal and marital counseling before you make that choice.
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I’m so so sorry. It wasn’t 40 years for me. But this is very much how I felt in my divorce. I wish you all the best in the world.
You will make it. Don’t let a man define who you are, ever
Oh man… I’m sorry. In this particular situation it usually means affair.
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Have you ever thought maybe his needs were met elsewhere making for a dead bedroom at home?
So very sorry !!
A year ago, I was a broken shell of a person. Every day felt like hell, but slowly it got better. As I rounded the bases of anniversaries and celebrations without him, it got a little easier. I’m now on the tail end of the year apart, and ultimately divorced from him. Emotionally, the whiplash is still intense; however, I did myself a favor by moving to a place I didn’t know anyone to start over. Slowly, it’s gotten more and more bearable. But I am so proud of myself that I did this all on my own. I haven’t failed yet, and that’s without a support system, completely starting my life over at 33 years old. I’ll be 35 in June and I’m proud of myself for what I’ve done on my own, even if it doesn’t seem like much to others. This didn’t break me. This too shall pass.
You absolutely deserve to be proud of yourself.
It didn’t break me either proud of u proud of me…and you’re very young….lucky you 😇
A friend of mine just commented to me that he can sense the growth in me through this process. Only 10 weeks in so far, I am determined that I will improve from all this pain. Which was very affirming to me that I am starting to heal and even through there is a long road ahead I am so far on the right path.
Keep going! Give yourself time and space. Healing for me was not linear, and I went backwards in the process too many times to count. But it’s so much better today.
Thank you for this. Every time I think I’ve made progress healing, I take about ten steps backwards. I’m so happy to hear from folks further down the road who have come to some peace. 🙏
I'm still in the process.. I hope it get easier. I never thought I'd say goodbye to her, ever, never thought it would get this far because I thought we could fix anything together, but sometimes I guess you can't. A huge part of me is her and it feels like I lost of part of me I'll never get back.
I’m sorry. I remember this feeling. It is so hard.
Thank you for sharing a positive outcome!
Thank you for this post ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I needed this. Thank you 🩵
Thanks for the kind words, needed to hear this 💪
Everyday can become hell if u cant divorce
How long before you found your 2nd husband? What's your age?
Im 30 now, I was 26 when my first marriage ended. I fought the inevitability of my divorce for 6+ months. I begged my ex every day to change his mind, to let me try to fix things. Before I inevitably moved in with my parents. The following month I met my current husband. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. And when we met I didn’t think it would be love or even a second marriage. He was also going through a brutal divorce of his own. So we had some common ground and it naturally came together. It still took us time to figure out what we wanted and to be sure we were willing to risk remarrying. But so far so good.
Thanks for posting. Hard to believe though. I don’t think I can carry on. I have a feeling I’m going to spiral even more into darkness when I’m forced to move out. What’s the point of living? I’ll stay alive for my son, but he seems to be losing her too. An absolute waking nightmare. I could cry and moan all day. This is hell. There is no god to help us. We are all so fucked up in our own psychological worlds. It’s hopeless. Despite it all I do hope my boys live happy lives and don’t have to taste the perpetual misery I live in. Black. That’s all.
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Im sorry. I don’t know your specific circumstances and I won’t pretend to. However, my divorce was initiated when my husband fell out of love. We had other problems and ultimately I think things worked out in my best interests. However, I thought then, and I think now marriage should be a deeper commitment than that. It should be about waking up and choosing to stay married even when it’s hard, even when the grass looks greener on the other side. Fluctuation in feelings through various circumstances in life are bound to happen in every relationship. I don’t think divorce will solve your problems, but I also don’t know you. I’d seriously consider both personal and marital counseling before you make that choice.
Make it better. Make that your life meaning. Divorce is utter misery.