"You mean EVERYONE in town wants to kill me?"
*sigh*, no...just the last 4 people you talked to. Those guys you made me do all that stuff for. The rest hate you but they aren't here right now.
My players once tried to extort a fee from a dwarf before agreeing to untie him as part of a rescue in a goblin fortress because they had literally forgotten that the entire reason they came there in the first place was to rescue him.
Learned from my DM: OK, if you dont remember, your character does not remember, put on the look of superiority and laugh menacingly. They WILL remember or learn to note.
I give my players a break on that, sometimes. "I know for you it's been six weeks but for it's been a day and a half so I'm sure they remember."
Although they've certainly already figured out everything they need to know about the current villain, but have forgotten most of it.
What's the goblins name?
Uhh... Boblin, Boblin the Goblin.
Ok I want to ask Boblin Boblin the Goblin a question.
No, it's just Boblin...*sigh* what did you want to ask Boblin Boblin?
This is actually a running pun in my campaign.. hahaha
My pc Boblin the goblin was created in a 'goblin only oneshot',
then in another oneshot I created Roblin the goblin who was a klepto artificer with a gun under his loincloth, looking like a massive bulge.
In the mini campaign I'm currently running as DM: Joblin the goblin had a job for the PCs, taking them to a remote house, here they met an odd war mage.
They soon discovered it to be 2 goblins on top of each other, covered by a cloak: Toplin and Botlin. rip Botlin when he wished for his weight in Gold (which got dropped on top of him) but Toplin now pops up every now and then, spending her massive amount of gold in whatever way suits her 😂
They're all brothers and sisters of course 😂
It’s become a running joke. I answer every time with, “My name? I *have* a name. It’s a good one,” as I frantically pull up a name generator. My players have started saying the line along with me 😂
Mine is basically the same!
*"My name? Of course I have a name. It's a good name. A name my father/mother gave me. And it is..."*
They do even do it for things that aren't people 😆 It's a good time.
My players love doing this. “You walk into an infirmary tent and there’s a lovely elf women tending the wounded”
“Okay, what’s her name? What’s the wounded guys name?” Then they all start laughing knowing what they’re doing
Here's how you get them back.
Gnomes generally have very complex, flowery names. I personally like giving them names that are almost musical in nature - for example, my players are about to meet an artificer called Umpadeedee Rumpum Bebumpatum.
When a player asks the NPC for something, say "On one condition. What's my name?"
Watch them flounder.
My players have forced me to come up with elaborate backstories and multi-session side quests for NPCs I had intended to kill off within minutes of their introduction. It's fun but exhausting
My DM does this several times a month. "I just made dinner plans with some friends, can all you six players move the play session we planned tomorrow?"
I doubt that, as "roll for initiative" is only said once per combat but I'm sure I'm doing something wrong if I don't cause my DM to say this at least 3 times per combat and countless times outside of combat as well.
I love the moment in Crit Role when they have a guest player on who says in character she can turn them all invisible with pass without trace, and Sam, who knows that's not how it works, simply says "I choose to believe her."
Dungeons and Drag Queens was the most softball game I've ever seen BLeeM run, to be fair. He knew they were new to D&D and just hardcore "yes and"'d everything they did
DM: You see a door. What do you do?
PC: I check for traps. (rolls)
DM: So as you touch the doorhandle…
PC: I did not touch the door handle. Who said I touched it? I am just looking.
> DM: You see a door. What do you do? PC: I check for traps
I have a strong opinion on that: I am of the school that "player characters are always searching for traps." It speeds up play if they aren't checking *everything* in every dungeon crawl.
The rule:
- When a trap is triggered, I call it out and freeze the VTT and we go back in time a few seconds and see if it was detected first.
- if the designated "party trap checker" could reasonably have been in the same room with the triggering trap, then they were in that spot, checking for the trap. (Player's option.)
- If they couldn't, the triggering character was checking for the trap.
- if the trap checker fails, they trigger the trap, but if they succeed, then they found the trap before triggering it and can try to deal with it.
Easy peasy, removes the need to call out "check for trap" checks constantly, streamlines, and players don't feel like they're getting yanked around by semantics on what they were or were not doing.
Two years of a campaign, everyone has dark vision, and a new player joins in as a broke human who was fleeing his huge gambling debts.
We had to front him the money for torches lmaoooo
I do that in my games. For PCs, darkvision is only available via spells, magic items and subclass features. Subterranean races are the exception, if the setting allows for them.
You'd think that would lead players to specifically picking options for darkvision, but I haven't found that to be the case. At least at my table, the players seem to enjoy the danger and suspense that comes with the lighting rules being relevant.
The climactic part 2 finale of descent into avernus took my group a month and a half to get to... we normally play every week 💀 2024 off to a rough start
I have very, very extensive notes on both the horrors of galley slavery as well as the rough physics and engineering of various types of said vessels.
As it turns out, rowing is really popular at the Ivy Leagues, who are also major physics research schools. As a result, there’s actual scientific papers with the efficiency constants needed to do this math.
Yes, I run a pirate campaign, how did you know?
*rubs the growing vein on his forehead.
"No I don't think you can make the 40 foot leap across the chasm."
"No not even with a natural 20."
"Because you're playing a tortle wizard with a strength of 8 and a Dexterity of ten. You're out of spell slots and your character trait is you took an arrow to the knee and now you limp everywhere.
Extract from an actual conversation I've had to have.
"You want to bar the door, and set fire to the building, despite it having an intricate and detailed interior with no fewer than 5 custom maps"
"Really?"
**"REALLY?"**
Player: Ohhhh its this thing and this idea.
DM: Smiling knowingly.
*It is now, damn that is way better than what I had planned. Time to act like this was the plan all along*
that's how mimics reproduce. a chest mimic creates hundreds of tiny mimics that take the form of coins and jewels. the chest mimic then expires while keeping it's mimic form. adventurers find the treasure mimics and distribute them amongst the party who in turn take the "coins" to other parts of the dungeon or different dungeons.
There's some content creator that is so bad for this. It's always like:
"Evil DnD plan!!! Mage hand inside their body and crush their heart! Create water in their brain! Plant growth inside their lungs!!!!"
Why would I ever allow that once? And if I did, why would you, ever, use anything other than that trick again?
That is so much of the advice I give to new DMs, and when I have to "kill the fun" of my player's ideas. If I allow this kind of nonsense, it is no longer a game. No one else will ever do anything interesting because you use a cantrip to stop a guy's heart every single fight. The overall interest in the campaign will go down, and the overall interest in the hobby will go down. I am stopping you now before you stop everyone else later.
"...and the kobolds kick you out AGAIN because AGAIN you did not remember the password because AGAIN you thought you would remember it and didn't write it down."
Have you ever had a player shrunk to about action man size? And then chucked everywhere by the Goliath? And then blow everything up?
Being a DM is 86% sighing…
AHHH THIS! This is why I prefer playing with novices rather than pros. I hate when every time I describe a monster, someone’s like “Ancient White Dragon. 330HP. CON saves…”
It’s also why I always change the stat blocks slightly for monsters, to keep them on their toes.
*narrating dramatic scene*
Player; I cast fireball.
*Stares at player, knowing they've denied themselves and their party critical information*
*It's session 1*
I got really excited because I figured out how to alter the layers the grid sits on when I make battlemaps during my lunch break at work.
(For reference you turn grid opacity to 0 on Roll20, go into the grid settings on Inkarnate and set the grid thiccness down since I do 80x80 maps, and then set the grid layer to layer 0. Set all trees and buildings and stuff at higher than 0 and boom, now it's easy to tell what is ground and what isn't)
The unlocked, untrapped, perfectly mundane door in the random, impoverished farmer's house opens smoothly. Though he wonders why you've been arguing for twenty minutes in front of his bedroom door.... Oh, you roll deception...?
Okay so run it back, what all did you get into last week? \*winces as every important clue and bit of info is missed but the funny character you made up on the fly in the bar is memorized to a T\*
"Hey! Yeah I would love to join your campaign! ..... Oh? Character? I would actually like to know your setting and lore first, then I'll make a character that fits with that. Also, what are the other party members playing? I'll play anything to fit with them, balanced party and all that."
Oh yes, right. So... the room looks pretty standard, a few torches on the walls... *flips a page* Actually, as you take a quick second glance, you notice a shining runestone on the pedestal in the middle.
so you've decided to go to the beach instead of the cave because you are worried about cave trolls? no problem OH NO! THE BEACH IS INFESTED WITH BEACH TROLLS!
Do you remember what told you last session?
(The answer is about to be 'no')
"Who?"
The same guy you insisted on having a name for, knowing his whole familial background, and spent 30 minutes haggling prices with. That guy.
that doesn't narrow it down
"You mean EVERYONE in town wants to kill me?" *sigh*, no...just the last 4 people you talked to. Those guys you made me do all that stuff for. The rest hate you but they aren't here right now.
Omg I can hear my player’s voice 😂
My players once tried to extort a fee from a dwarf before agreeing to untie him as part of a rescue in a goblin fortress because they had literally forgotten that the entire reason they came there in the first place was to rescue him.
Learned from my DM: OK, if you dont remember, your character does not remember, put on the look of superiority and laugh menacingly. They WILL remember or learn to note.
I give my players a break on that, sometimes. "I know for you it's been six weeks but for it's been a day and a half so I'm sure they remember."
Although they've certainly already figured out everything they need to know about the current villain, but have forgotten most of it.
"...but keen mind"
I don't care if you have dark vision, you still can't read abyssal.
Huh?! What’s the story behind that event?
Player tried to argue that since abyssal is "dark speech," he could read it with dark vision. I still don't know if he was serious.
If I ever wanted to run a game where reality is shaped by puns and moon logic I'd want them on speed dial
Warhammer orks playthrough where if you believe something hard enough it becomes reality
It's, uh... Deep speech Did he have deepvision?
So blindsight is required to read Braille
*Toph Beifong has Entered the Room*
Their name is...um...
"What's your name, friendly smith?" "MY name? You want to know MY name? My name is, uh, Smath. Smath the Smith."
Being named after your profession is where names like Smith, Cooper, Baker etc come from. Advice from a lazy DM.
But if your name is Dickinson maybe don't ask too much about what your ancestors did.
All I have to say to this is: John Handcock
What's the goblins name? Uhh... Boblin, Boblin the Goblin. Ok I want to ask Boblin Boblin the Goblin a question. No, it's just Boblin...*sigh* what did you want to ask Boblin Boblin?
Just wait until you meet his brother Roblin
And their sisters Foblin and Loblin.
This is actually a running pun in my campaign.. hahaha My pc Boblin the goblin was created in a 'goblin only oneshot', then in another oneshot I created Roblin the goblin who was a klepto artificer with a gun under his loincloth, looking like a massive bulge. In the mini campaign I'm currently running as DM: Joblin the goblin had a job for the PCs, taking them to a remote house, here they met an odd war mage. They soon discovered it to be 2 goblins on top of each other, covered by a cloak: Toplin and Botlin. rip Botlin when he wished for his weight in Gold (which got dropped on top of him) but Toplin now pops up every now and then, spending her massive amount of gold in whatever way suits her 😂 They're all brothers and sisters of course 😂
"Crentist."
Maybe that's why he became a dentist?
That’s how my party came to know Sir Goodfrog, the Bullywug Knight
I’m stealing this 😂
"Friendly Smith? Uhh.... Frenly. Frenly the Smith!"
It’s become a running joke. I answer every time with, “My name? I *have* a name. It’s a good one,” as I frantically pull up a name generator. My players have started saying the line along with me 😂
Mine is basically the same! *"My name? Of course I have a name. It's a good name. A name my father/mother gave me. And it is..."* They do even do it for things that aren't people 😆 It's a good time.
Have a list of names you mark off as you go.
WHY YOU GOTTA CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT /upvote
My players love doing this. “You walk into an infirmary tent and there’s a lovely elf women tending the wounded” “Okay, what’s her name? What’s the wounded guys name?” Then they all start laughing knowing what they’re doing
Here's how you get them back. Gnomes generally have very complex, flowery names. I personally like giving them names that are almost musical in nature - for example, my players are about to meet an artificer called Umpadeedee Rumpum Bebumpatum. When a player asks the NPC for something, say "On one condition. What's my name?" Watch them flounder.
When in doubt go with Jarnathan.
Wait your players ask NPCs their names? Mine only realize when they notice they can only refer to an NPC by "that guy?"
My players have forced me to come up with elaborate backstories and multi-session side quests for NPCs I had intended to kill off within minutes of their introduction. It's fun but exhausting
This is when character generation tables come in handy
From what I’ve seen, you are a lucky person then
I ask them for a persuasion check, just to use the extra time to think of a name.
*sigh* ok, maybe we’ll see you next session then.
I feel that pain :(
well god damn grimm... and yes, my game tonight is cancelled due to ""plans"" :(
My DM does this several times a month. "I just made dinner plans with some friends, can all you six players move the play session we planned tomorrow?"
:’(
Seeing this, I'm happy we played 36 sessions last year.
For the 15th time, I know you guys have darkvision, let me finish describing the place pretty please.
I made guidance a reaction spell upon failure for this exact reason lmao. No more "CAN I USE GUIDANCE" every 2 seconds
I like this, I'm stealing it! Could also be a response to the original question.
>a response to the original question. Yes, yes it is
I write whole novels only for people to shoot it because “It looked suspicious”
Can I roll for insight on the dark? Was it recently dark in here?! /s
Are you SURE????????????
"Does your characters actually do that??"
*pinches the bridge of my nose* I guess you can try to seduce the Aboleth one last time.
> one last time Lol, the pinch is code for “I shouldn’t have let you try the first time”
"How much of that did you say in character?"
"Are you sure you want to crawl into this particular vent?" - me, moments before disaster while DM'ing a campaign in the Alien RPG.
Oh, I loooooove to do do this one.
I am pretty sure it is the second most said phrase by a DM behind roll for initiative. Lol
I doubt that, as "roll for initiative" is only said once per combat but I'm sure I'm doing something wrong if I don't cause my DM to say this at least 3 times per combat and countless times outside of combat as well.
I could certainly \*try\*.
Like I said last time, Pass Without Trace does NOT make you invisible.
I love the moment in Crit Role when they have a guest player on who says in character she can turn them all invisible with pass without trace, and Sam, who knows that's not how it works, simply says "I choose to believe her."
Jujube did basically the same thing many times on Dungons and Dragqueens on dimension20
Dungeons and Drag Queens was the most softball game I've ever seen BLeeM run, to be fair. He knew they were new to D&D and just hardcore "yes and"'d everything they did
So you touch it?
DM: You see a door. What do you do? PC: I check for traps. (rolls) DM: So as you touch the doorhandle… PC: I did not touch the door handle. Who said I touched it? I am just looking.
This exact scenario happened at my game last night.
And, how did it go? :D
Awkwardly, LoL. The trap was not triggered...
Ah, another door lefr unopen 😂
PC "I check for traps with my eyes." Edit, spelling
*rolls 2* DM: So as you lean in, you accidentally touch the handle with your nose.. 😂
Peanut gallery; *Chk* "That nose seems like a mistake."
Roll for sleight of nose
> DM: You see a door. What do you do? PC: I check for traps I have a strong opinion on that: I am of the school that "player characters are always searching for traps." It speeds up play if they aren't checking *everything* in every dungeon crawl. The rule: - When a trap is triggered, I call it out and freeze the VTT and we go back in time a few seconds and see if it was detected first. - if the designated "party trap checker" could reasonably have been in the same room with the triggering trap, then they were in that spot, checking for the trap. (Player's option.) - If they couldn't, the triggering character was checking for the trap. - if the trap checker fails, they trigger the trap, but if they succeed, then they found the trap before triggering it and can try to deal with it. Easy peasy, removes the need to call out "check for trap" checks constantly, streamlines, and players don't feel like they're getting yanked around by semantics on what they were or were not doing.
This place is very dar....... Good for you.
Two years of a campaign, everyone has dark vision, and a new player joins in as a broke human who was fleeing his huge gambling debts. We had to front him the money for torches lmaoooo
I swear dark vision should only exist for monsters and spells. Or at least not make it into a thing about 80% of races has
I do that in my games. For PCs, darkvision is only available via spells, magic items and subclass features. Subterranean races are the exception, if the setting allows for them. You'd think that would lead players to specifically picking options for darkvision, but I haven't found that to be the case. At least at my table, the players seem to enjoy the danger and suspense that comes with the lighting rules being relevant.
Are you my DM? Are we fighting the daughter of Tiamat next game ?
No, none of you can make it so it's postoned again 💀 I'm joking. I am not your GM. Go to their games regularly and have fun :p
Hahaha. Our game maybe get canceled once per month (we play every week).
The climactic part 2 finale of descent into avernus took my group a month and a half to get to... we normally play every week 💀 2024 off to a rough start
Sticking "5e" on the end of your Google search so the FBI knows you're innocent.
*"How to hide evidence of murder/arson when the cops are already there 5e"*
But the FBI already knows I run 3.5 AND Old World of Darkness!
My Google searches get so so sooooo dark sometimes…
I have very, very extensive notes on both the horrors of galley slavery as well as the rough physics and engineering of various types of said vessels. As it turns out, rowing is really popular at the Ivy Leagues, who are also major physics research schools. As a result, there’s actual scientific papers with the efficiency constants needed to do this math. Yes, I run a pirate campaign, how did you know?
*rubs the growing vein on his forehead. "No I don't think you can make the 40 foot leap across the chasm." "No not even with a natural 20." "Because you're playing a tortle wizard with a strength of 8 and a Dexterity of ten. You're out of spell slots and your character trait is you took an arrow to the knee and now you limp everywhere. Extract from an actual conversation I've had to have.
"You want to bar the door, and set fire to the building, despite it having an intricate and detailed interior with no fewer than 5 custom maps" "Really?" **"REALLY?"**
that's when the incredibly detailed interior full of treasure and plot hooks teleports to another building conveniently nearby.
Haha yes! I’ve used so many encounters or maps way later than intended.
my players set fire to an entire lumber camp to avoid some bugs, I feel this
Dragon of Icespire Peak?
I am very tired and that joke stopped being funny two hours ago.
Happy Cake Day
Oh thank you, I didn't even realize. 😂
Player: Ohhhh its this thing and this idea. DM: Smiling knowingly. *It is now, damn that is way better than what I had planned. Time to act like this was the plan all along*
Love it when my players are better writers than I am
The Ainz Ool Gown method. Works every time.
Alright, Alexa: google medieval torture devices. Works for both kinds of DM
The things I've googled as a DM have probably put me on some kind of list.
Always put "dnd" or "5e" at the end of each Google search xD
Some guy going to Google: "How to build a child trafficking ring in DnD 5e?"
The predicted text just adds 5e to the end of everything I search now
No, the chest is not a mimic. The door does not appeae to be a mimic. (The rug is a mimic)
The loot INSIDE the chest is the mimic.
that's how mimics reproduce. a chest mimic creates hundreds of tiny mimics that take the form of coins and jewels. the chest mimic then expires while keeping it's mimic form. adventurers find the treasure mimics and distribute them amongst the party who in turn take the "coins" to other parts of the dungeon or different dungeons.
Cavities in the body are not unoccupied spaces.
There's some content creator that is so bad for this. It's always like: "Evil DnD plan!!! Mage hand inside their body and crush their heart! Create water in their brain! Plant growth inside their lungs!!!!" Why would I ever allow that once? And if I did, why would you, ever, use anything other than that trick again?
That is so much of the advice I give to new DMs, and when I have to "kill the fun" of my player's ideas. If I allow this kind of nonsense, it is no longer a game. No one else will ever do anything interesting because you use a cantrip to stop a guy's heart every single fight. The overall interest in the campaign will go down, and the overall interest in the hobby will go down. I am stopping you now before you stop everyone else later.
I don’t solve their problems, I solve their solutions.
Brilliant
I hate how that perfectly sums up our role.
"...and the kobolds kick you out AGAIN because AGAIN you did not remember the password because AGAIN you thought you would remember it and didn't write it down."
You're casting fireball on an orphanage?
Did i stutter
You’re casting fireball on an orphanage AGAIN???
You can certainly try.
One of the pins on my DND backpack says exactly that.
Sure, that’s fine give me an attack roll with disadvantage, also I need an acrobatic check from you. * looks at the player being shot out of the bow*
Have you ever had a player shrunk to about action man size? And then chucked everywhere by the Goliath? And then blow everything up? Being a DM is 86% sighing…
I'm not being mean. You insulted a dragon and threw rocks at it. You are level 3. This is the consequence of your actions. Roll up another character.
___ and ___ can’t make it. Maybe we’ll play next week.
No. Your character wouldn't know that.
AHHH THIS! This is why I prefer playing with novices rather than pros. I hate when every time I describe a monster, someone’s like “Ancient White Dragon. 330HP. CON saves…” It’s also why I always change the stat blocks slightly for monsters, to keep them on their toes.
No, you can’t stop his heart with a cantrip because blood is “Mostly water”
Laughs in ATLA...
Roll initiative.
HOW IS THIS NOT TOP COMMENT!?!?!?!?
I have a tab on my phone with 40 pages of random notes about a make believe world that I keep open at all times and add to daily.
average worldbuilder
No, you can't play a mimic that's also an assassin ballerina.
Bad dm, railroad. Player agency good, dm bad. /s
“So, uh next Saturday guys?”
What are you trying to achieve with that roll?
That doesn't work.
Interesting idea.. sure why not?
similiarly, i say "it is now!" and quickly jot down a note multiple times a session.
*sighs, discards prep*
Look at all these player characters I have created yet will never get to play!
"alright everyone it looks like we can't find a time this week so let's try for next week. Please vote on one of the following dates"
*narrating dramatic scene* Player; I cast fireball. *Stares at player, knowing they've denied themselves and their party critical information* *It's session 1*
This here is why fireball is a level 3 spell. You have to \*learn\* responsibility first. Who am I kidding.
Their name? Uhhh, Desk… Chairington… yup, this guard’s name is Desk Chairington.
"Are you saying that in character?"
I got really excited because I figured out how to alter the layers the grid sits on when I make battlemaps during my lunch break at work. (For reference you turn grid opacity to 0 on Roll20, go into the grid settings on Inkarnate and set the grid thiccness down since I do 80x80 maps, and then set the grid layer to layer 0. Set all trees and buildings and stuff at higher than 0 and boom, now it's easy to tell what is ground and what isn't)
*long protracted sigh with tears in eyes*
Well... I guess *there goes* three hours of work....
No, even with a nat 20, this npc will not give you everything he owns
“Can I haggle?” You’re buying two flasks of oil and a week of rations. You just looted a 10,000G hoard.
I’m a grown babysitter for other grown ass adults who enjoy the sound of clicky clack math rocks
" I didn't ask for a roll."
Even with a Nat 20, it’s just a normal book.
And tell me, when you touch the chest; are you wearing gloves?
What does the spell description say?
Go ahead, roll for it.
Deep breath intake. #*SIGH* That's fine.
Hey, do you want to use your… ?
Uh, ok...sure. No, it's cool. Let's see how it goes, I guess.
Hmm, this table is the perfect size for gaming.
...I'll allow it this time, but I need to learn how that's supposed to work.
The unlocked, untrapped, perfectly mundane door in the random, impoverished farmer's house opens smoothly. Though he wonders why you've been arguing for twenty minutes in front of his bedroom door.... Oh, you roll deception...?
Okay so run it back, what all did you get into last week? \*winces as every important clue and bit of info is missed but the funny character you made up on the fly in the bar is memorized to a T\*
"Hey! Yeah I would love to join your campaign! ..... Oh? Character? I would actually like to know your setting and lore first, then I'll make a character that fits with that. Also, what are the other party members playing? I'll play anything to fit with them, balanced party and all that."
So what do you wanna do?
You believe you are safe
No, the fog is NOT AN SCP
#
So, 5pm on Sunday. Everyone still in?
You cant give them recommendations about what to do, you split up into two groups and dont know what the others are doing right now.
You can certainly try.... Anyone going to try to stop them?
*Randomly, at work;* Man, that's a great idea.
"Sure, whatever" .
“You don’t have to act out what your character does, but if you do then you might get something special… ?”
I wasn't prepared for that level of shenanigans.
Sure, you can try.
*cackling menacingly*
\*Pained groan\*
“…you sure? You REALLY sure?”
Last time when we played….
"Y-you want to pull your pants down and start doing WHAT in the middle of a bar fight!?"
I can keep track of multiple things on a battle map at a time
“I don’t even know how we got here and I’m just riffing at this point”
Your roll to seduce the concept of time has failed, for the third time.
Oh yes, right. So... the room looks pretty standard, a few torches on the walls... *flips a page* Actually, as you take a quick second glance, you notice a shining runestone on the pedestal in the middle.
so you've decided to go to the beach instead of the cave because you are worried about cave trolls? no problem OH NO! THE BEACH IS INFESTED WITH BEACH TROLLS!
"So... just describe to me how you do that"
Ok, who is walking on front?
"Oh, that guy? his name is Bob. That other guy?... Bob. The tavern? Bob's Tavern"
Did your characters have this conversation with the same volume you've just used?
"Like...60 feet or something around that."
sure, let’s say one of the guards is female