Yes bc I have ADHD and it’s such a boring and repetitive task, I’m so resentful that I have to do it and will have to do it every day for the rest of my life until I die
Fellow ADHD here. BORING! The only time I’m ‘okay’ about doing it, is if I can be ‘distracted’ 🤣 by something else.
Music doesn’t work for me. Folding clothes or doing tasks in front of a television. The caveat is, it HAS to be a show or a movie I’ve watched before.
That way, It doesn’t bother me to walk away from it to put things away, grab cleaning supplies etc.
On occasion, I’ll watch a show or movie I haven’t seen before, but it HAS to have commercials. Otherwise, I’d get too engrossed in what I’m watching and wouldn’t get anything accomplished.
Exactly like me with the TV shows/movies. I hate missing any detail, no matter how minor. No idea how most people could just walk away while the video's playing and go do something else.
Fortunately, music works well for me so I could just put them on if a TV show is too distracting.
Oh my god. I never thought about this but you’re right! I absolutely abhor cleaning and it was always fraught with anger and yelling growing up. No wonder I hate it.
Yeah there’s someone about cleaning when your housemate/partner isn’t helping that’s rage-inducing. Which is hard because like, just because *I’m* cleaning doesn’t mean they have to be. But it still infuriates me anyway!
Exactamundo señor. I should not have to encourage an adult to clean up their own mess or even “our” mess. I am not their mother, keeper, caretaker or maid!!!!
Perhaps a shift in attitude would be helpful. You are possibly angry because you are thinking of cleaning as something unpleasant you're being forced to do by someone in power who is oppressing you. You're lashing out in rebellion.
What if you recontextualized the situation, and think of cleaning as a form of in-motion meditation. Don't rush through the job, filled with resentment. Perform the motions of the task mindfully, gracefully, as you would a Japanese tea ceremony. Focusing your attention on the specific movements you are performing puts you into a state of mindfulness. Move methodically, smoothly, deliberately, precisely. Think of yourself as a dancer.
My Mom passive aggressively cleans up (I had to move in our home with her and my sister). Dismisses the things I do around the house and starts rage cleaning and evil muttering saying she does all the cleaning. I remember this when I clean up. This only happens when I’m home, she never does that when my crackhead sister’s home. On one hand I can count the times my sister picked up the broom or mop or did the dishes in the three years I’ve lived with them. When I say something about it I’m “starting shit again” and everyone’s against me. Im always buying the household cleaning products, the shit wipes, and washing the towels that my sister uses 3 times a day because she comes home smelling like crack or whatever. So yeah I bang shit around to show them I’m doing shit. Of course they do it to make me react and make me feel crazy.
Yeah, I agree. My husband "inherited" the passive aggressive cleaning from his mother. However, when i would clean or do ANYTHING, he'd just sit on his and pretend to be oblivious to my existence, as if all was well with his wife doing her god given duty. So guess what? I quit cleaning during the pandemic b/c I "broke." Now he does passive aggressive cleaning while I act oblivious to him doing his god given duty. Yeah, i already told him I want a divorce.
Nnnno ... But I do clean my best *when* I'm angry. Cleaning can sometimes feel like a daunting, overwhelming task but if I'm pissed off or if I'm expecting company soon, I can clean like my life depends on it.
My fiend used to annoy his wife, would go fishing. She was so angry the house would be cleaned and organized when he got home. She caught on and went to the casino instead.
My husband is kind of like this lol he gets grumpy when cleaning. He doesn't lash out but it's definitely not a fun time.
We generally just clean and do our chores when the other person isn't home.
I get overwhelmed by the mess my family leaves me to clean, despite repeated requests for them to help. I hit this stage at 1am this morning after minimal sleep (yesterday morning) and a whole kitchen to clean down.
I am just like you. I lash out.
For me it's because I grew up in an abusive home where cleaning and household duties were used as punishments on top of already high expectations. It's a behavioral pattern ingrained in me now. So I either clean when I'm mad or I get mad when I'm cleaning. I choose to clean alone, apart from my husband for this reason. I pick a playlist, I make it smell good and I angrily clean away.
Not me, but my mum definitely does this. Whenever she starts to do housework/clean, she gets extremely pissy and starts lashing out at everyone in the house, including our pets, saying that no one helps out (we do), that we treat her like a maid, etc. Even if no one asked her to clean or there isn't an obvious mess, she will get angry.
I’m already angry/upset before I clean. That something I do to keep from saying something I’ll regret. I also put on headphones and a movie/music and tune everyone out.
As a child, housework was punishment. Also, the whole family had this idea I Didn't Like Cleaning so they'd literally bully, tease, and reactive abuse me the whole time. I hated cleaning AROUND THEM because of the bullying. For my whole fucking life I DIDN'T MIND CLEANING even if it was punishment.
>!What I DO hate the most is buying groceries since my mother was crazily obsessed with grocery shopping, she's spend 40 hours a week grocery shopping and the who family had to go be outside for over 16 hours on the weekends. For the same fucking brands, sizes, and prices AMAZON has. Then that DICKHEAD of a mother would say she wouldn't use Amazon Subscribe & Save because she'd have to pay for all the groceries which is NOT true, literally everyone could chip in by buying an Amazon gift card each week or just reloading the balance. But because that's so scawwy evil Thomas Edison was a witch, she insisted on spending 40 hours a week buying groceries with her own money. Oh, right, if anyone bought another brand like Charmin toilet paper, it couldn't be used, even if it wasn't in HER bathroom. It was so fucking cathartic to buy Friendly's ice cream for the first time I fucking tell you.!<
Used to enjoy cleaning and found it relaxing to do mundane tasks. But the older I get I am just more aware everything will be dirty again within minutes makes me feel al kinds of hate and anger that I’m cleaning only for it to be worthless.
No. And we are raising our kids to understand why you should care about chores.
I mean...if someone is not pulling their weight? Sure I'm mad at that. But just me, by myself, cleaning my own house and I am the only one who made it dirty?
Yeah I'm good. I'll clean, no problem.
Try cleaning when you live in a tropical climate. It doesn’t take long for me to be dripping in sweat, which rarely improves my mood.
It needs to be done, because one can’t/ shouldn’t live in a seas pit, but I’m with OP. I may not get angry, but I keep it to a minimum or pay someone else to do it whenever possible - finances and budget depending. Sometimes it’s gotta be done, and when that happens I do feel better to relax and sleep in a cleaner and tidier environment.
Are you physically fit? Might this have to do with pulse rising during activities like cleaning and housework?
I got this too. My parents even worse. We're all on blood pressure lowering medication.
I'm fine cleaning until I realize that to clean properly I need to do 40 other tasks, like I can't clean the kitchen if the drain is half clogged with bacon grease and I'm out of draino, I'd usually use hot water but the water boiler overheats after 3 or 4 uses, and I think I mightve killed it last time but haven't purchased a new one yet because I wanted to see if it'd start working after a vinegar cleanse and of course there's only half a cup of vinegar left.
So let me just vacuum instead except he didn't tell me the filter is clogged and a dog would be more efficient. So I have to dig out the box of spare vacuum parts and knock over 2 other boxes of stuff I need to pick up first. Also need to move all the chairs and stuff so the vacuum can get in there. Fix the vacuum, it also needs emptying, but the trash is full because I couldn't be bothered to take it out after cleaning up after dinner last night. Take out the trash, put a new bag in, empty vacuum, plug in vacuum and finally succeed in finishing 1 chore.
If cleaning just was cleaning, one simple well defined task with obvious results, I'd be less frustrated.
Never put grease of any kind down the drain. Never.
Let it congeal and throw it on the garbage. Or soak it up in papertowel and throw it out in the garbage.
Source: I've seen first hand what it will do to the inside of main drain pipes. And no amount of draino or hot water will fix it.
I know!!! I always have an empty jar for it! Was so looking forward to moving into a place where other people hadnt messed up the pipes, but then the guy I moved in with just either doesnt care or keeps forgetting. In any case, if I complain, itll somehow be my fault theres a grease clog in there without me ever pouring bacon grease down there. I can take the argument with my partner again (which I'll never be able to win), or I can deal with the drain (which I might be able to clean)... path of least resistance and all that...
I mostly get angry having piles of stuff taking up space because I literally have nowhere to put them. So I have to leave them there to take up space. And then I get mad at myself for not getting my thumbs out and fix placed for the stuff. Those day I mostly end up throwing stuff around and then sit down by the computer overwhelmed and and wanting to play something but I can't because I feel guilty playing instead of cleaning.
My GF gets mad when she has to clean. I don’t. I don’t care. It’s just something that has to get done so I do it. So many things in life are things that just have to get done. I think I spend most of my life doing things that have to get done.
I do this as I’m starting go off on one how disgusting they all are n none of it’s my mess as I put my stuff away! Just generally snapping on everyone n then I calm down get really into it n wen I finished cleaning I’m so relaxed n happy n realise I love it really even the moaning 🤣
This is why I plan it and do it when I can be alone or just one son is home not all of them. It actually can put me in a great mood to feel accomplished and the house feels so clean. I have times I get super grumpy with the daily chores if it feels like no one is helping taking advantage of me.
I get like that when I’m dealing with clutter, paperwork, etc. I hate having to organize stuff and make tons of little decisions. It gives me a fuzzy kind of anxiety that can build up and get really draining. I have to deal with stuff like that in small bursts.
(Of course a lot of people don’t let clutter build up in the first place.)
turn the ac up! you're getting yousrself heated
i remember being told that the heat is the most violent time of the year.
get a nice cool llittle towel and keep it on your shoulder like a little buddy so that you have it nearly to help with the heat!
sorry to hearr about your exxperience.
It doesn’t usually matter how hot or cold it is. I could be cleaning in the middle of winter with the windows open and I’d still get cranky.
But thanks for the advice, my brother gets really overheated and it’ll help him.
for sure buddy!
i mean no offense by this but are you adhd? or possibly even bipolar?
but i get it i totally hate ccleaning too.
could also possibly be depresssion. when im sad my anger comes out.
there is a saying that anger is a result of unresolved depressioin
anyways take care hope maybe some of this can help you
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 8, I don’t take meds because the side effects were pretty bad, although I’m thinking about trying meds again because my adhd symptoms are really starting to effect my life.
I also almost definitely have depression, but I can’t afford a therapist right now, so I have no way to deal with it.
yep yep. an ex of mine felt the same about his adhd medication he had as a kid and it made him feel really weird, unalive almost. like a zombie
id be careful with it because stuff like adderall is basically meth in pill form.
idk. im trying to think of solutions myself as far as trying out perscription medication. i have an issue with big pharma and that entire industry. But, maybe it'll work?
Just try it, see how it goes, if it doesnt work out jump online or call a friend and ask them what they do that works for them.
peace and love!
When I used to live with my family? Yes. Also the usage of ineffective methods and supplies were forced on me besides the toxic behaviour of my family, nothong is allowed being done differently.
After learning some good and more effective methods from the internet and having my own stuff in the apartment it's not daunting anymore. It's a form of selfcare. I gift myself a clean and tidy space more time and energy efficiently.
What's your relationship with it growing up? Was your mom an angry cleaner? Always did it herself & made you know it? Or, was there no cleaning so you don't know how to efficiently do it? I like cleaning because I was a people pleaser in an incredibly abusive home, so at 5 I learned to be valuable to be left alone. If you are already cleaning no one will yell, usually. It was my safe space & is now muscle memory. So, I'm not cleaning-I'm meditating. And then I "wake up" a lil while later...& house is spotless! I've no idea where anything is, but it's organized wherever it is!
It's also kinda magic how anything can be cleaned up! Any mess, any chaos...and it's such a human endeavor. I've lived in tents, trailers with no heat or electricity, but I've always been able to make it a home. It's not cleaning-it's smoothing out your home.
Growing up my mom was a hoarder that, if we did attempt to clean, would yell at me anytime it wasn’t done perfectly and honestly, the way she did things was pretty ineffective since we r was just moving things from one room to another. She also never allowed me to do anything like dishes or laundry because “you’re a kid, you should just enjoy your childhood”, so I never learned how to do those things until fairly recently. And my dad never did cleaning because “that’s a woman’s job”.
u/flat5
I don’t understand why you took the time to respond, if your answer was going to include a condescending comment.
Did the OP’s question upset or offend you? Or, do you feel you are being helpful by adding an arbitrary and demeaning response.
Yes, it did. People who lash out at those around them because they're doing something they don't enjoy offend me. That type of behavior should offend everyone.
I don’t lash out at other people, but cleaning does make me feel very irritable and angry.
Yes bc I have ADHD and it’s such a boring and repetitive task, I’m so resentful that I have to do it and will have to do it every day for the rest of my life until I die
Fellow ADHD here. BORING! The only time I’m ‘okay’ about doing it, is if I can be ‘distracted’ 🤣 by something else. Music doesn’t work for me. Folding clothes or doing tasks in front of a television. The caveat is, it HAS to be a show or a movie I’ve watched before. That way, It doesn’t bother me to walk away from it to put things away, grab cleaning supplies etc. On occasion, I’ll watch a show or movie I haven’t seen before, but it HAS to have commercials. Otherwise, I’d get too engrossed in what I’m watching and wouldn’t get anything accomplished.
The things we have to do to trick our brain into doing simple tasks!!! 😩
Exactly like me with the TV shows/movies. I hate missing any detail, no matter how minor. No idea how most people could just walk away while the video's playing and go do something else. Fortunately, music works well for me so I could just put them on if a TV show is too distracting.
Yeah I turn bitchy for no reason and after few minutes I get ravenous idk why.
My partner is like this. It's beyond predictable I try to mitigate it and it happens every damn time lol.
Because our parents yelled at us to clean, so we see it as a bad thing, as opposed to, having an organized household helps us think better (as an ex)
Oh my god. I never thought about this but you’re right! I absolutely abhor cleaning and it was always fraught with anger and yelling growing up. No wonder I hate it.
Yup. Took me awhile to figure things out too :)
Only when someone is sitting on the couch and doesn’t help is when I get angry
Yeah there’s someone about cleaning when your housemate/partner isn’t helping that’s rage-inducing. Which is hard because like, just because *I’m* cleaning doesn’t mean they have to be. But it still infuriates me anyway!
And… it’s THEIR mess! 🤣
Exactamundo señor. I should not have to encourage an adult to clean up their own mess or even “our” mess. I am not their mother, keeper, caretaker or maid!!!!
Perhaps a shift in attitude would be helpful. You are possibly angry because you are thinking of cleaning as something unpleasant you're being forced to do by someone in power who is oppressing you. You're lashing out in rebellion. What if you recontextualized the situation, and think of cleaning as a form of in-motion meditation. Don't rush through the job, filled with resentment. Perform the motions of the task mindfully, gracefully, as you would a Japanese tea ceremony. Focusing your attention on the specific movements you are performing puts you into a state of mindfulness. Move methodically, smoothly, deliberately, precisely. Think of yourself as a dancer.
And play fun music or podcasts while you clean. It doesn’t have to be a boring chore
The BEST ADVICE ever! Thank you for taking the time to respond to her question!
Especially when it is not my mess! I may sometimes just yell this out randomly for those making the mess to hear
My Mom passive aggressively cleans up (I had to move in our home with her and my sister). Dismisses the things I do around the house and starts rage cleaning and evil muttering saying she does all the cleaning. I remember this when I clean up. This only happens when I’m home, she never does that when my crackhead sister’s home. On one hand I can count the times my sister picked up the broom or mop or did the dishes in the three years I’ve lived with them. When I say something about it I’m “starting shit again” and everyone’s against me. Im always buying the household cleaning products, the shit wipes, and washing the towels that my sister uses 3 times a day because she comes home smelling like crack or whatever. So yeah I bang shit around to show them I’m doing shit. Of course they do it to make me react and make me feel crazy.
This sounds like an unhealthy environment all around.
Yeah, I agree. My husband "inherited" the passive aggressive cleaning from his mother. However, when i would clean or do ANYTHING, he'd just sit on his and pretend to be oblivious to my existence, as if all was well with his wife doing her god given duty. So guess what? I quit cleaning during the pandemic b/c I "broke." Now he does passive aggressive cleaning while I act oblivious to him doing his god given duty. Yeah, i already told him I want a divorce.
Yes!!! I swear sometimes I think in my past lives I was some snobby noble who had people for that type of menial tasks.
Nnnno ... But I do clean my best *when* I'm angry. Cleaning can sometimes feel like a daunting, overwhelming task but if I'm pissed off or if I'm expecting company soon, I can clean like my life depends on it.
My fiend used to annoy his wife, would go fishing. She was so angry the house would be cleaned and organized when he got home. She caught on and went to the casino instead.
😬
🤣
My husband is kind of like this lol he gets grumpy when cleaning. He doesn't lash out but it's definitely not a fun time. We generally just clean and do our chores when the other person isn't home.
I get overwhelmed by the mess my family leaves me to clean, despite repeated requests for them to help. I hit this stage at 1am this morning after minimal sleep (yesterday morning) and a whole kitchen to clean down.
I am just like you. I lash out. For me it's because I grew up in an abusive home where cleaning and household duties were used as punishments on top of already high expectations. It's a behavioral pattern ingrained in me now. So I either clean when I'm mad or I get mad when I'm cleaning. I choose to clean alone, apart from my husband for this reason. I pick a playlist, I make it smell good and I angrily clean away.
Not me, but my mum definitely does this. Whenever she starts to do housework/clean, she gets extremely pissy and starts lashing out at everyone in the house, including our pets, saying that no one helps out (we do), that we treat her like a maid, etc. Even if no one asked her to clean or there isn't an obvious mess, she will get angry.
I like cleaning the house and cutting the grass. I love how it looks and smells when completed.
I do lol
I’m already angry/upset before I clean. That something I do to keep from saying something I’ll regret. I also put on headphones and a movie/music and tune everyone out.
As a child, housework was punishment. Also, the whole family had this idea I Didn't Like Cleaning so they'd literally bully, tease, and reactive abuse me the whole time. I hated cleaning AROUND THEM because of the bullying. For my whole fucking life I DIDN'T MIND CLEANING even if it was punishment. >!What I DO hate the most is buying groceries since my mother was crazily obsessed with grocery shopping, she's spend 40 hours a week grocery shopping and the who family had to go be outside for over 16 hours on the weekends. For the same fucking brands, sizes, and prices AMAZON has. Then that DICKHEAD of a mother would say she wouldn't use Amazon Subscribe & Save because she'd have to pay for all the groceries which is NOT true, literally everyone could chip in by buying an Amazon gift card each week or just reloading the balance. But because that's so scawwy evil Thomas Edison was a witch, she insisted on spending 40 hours a week buying groceries with her own money. Oh, right, if anyone bought another brand like Charmin toilet paper, it couldn't be used, even if it wasn't in HER bathroom. It was so fucking cathartic to buy Friendly's ice cream for the first time I fucking tell you.!<
*virtual hug*
Holy crap! I'm glad I'm not the only one. Vacuuming makes me madder than a mf lmaoooo
Used to enjoy cleaning and found it relaxing to do mundane tasks. But the older I get I am just more aware everything will be dirty again within minutes makes me feel al kinds of hate and anger that I’m cleaning only for it to be worthless.
Yes! I actually really love cleaning, too. I just feel angry about it.
No. And we are raising our kids to understand why you should care about chores. I mean...if someone is not pulling their weight? Sure I'm mad at that. But just me, by myself, cleaning my own house and I am the only one who made it dirty? Yeah I'm good. I'll clean, no problem.
Try cleaning when you live in a tropical climate. It doesn’t take long for me to be dripping in sweat, which rarely improves my mood. It needs to be done, because one can’t/ shouldn’t live in a seas pit, but I’m with OP. I may not get angry, but I keep it to a minimum or pay someone else to do it whenever possible - finances and budget depending. Sometimes it’s gotta be done, and when that happens I do feel better to relax and sleep in a cleaner and tidier environment.
Are you physically fit? Might this have to do with pulse rising during activities like cleaning and housework? I got this too. My parents even worse. We're all on blood pressure lowering medication.
I get resentful towards whoever I'm cleaning up after
I'm fine cleaning until I realize that to clean properly I need to do 40 other tasks, like I can't clean the kitchen if the drain is half clogged with bacon grease and I'm out of draino, I'd usually use hot water but the water boiler overheats after 3 or 4 uses, and I think I mightve killed it last time but haven't purchased a new one yet because I wanted to see if it'd start working after a vinegar cleanse and of course there's only half a cup of vinegar left. So let me just vacuum instead except he didn't tell me the filter is clogged and a dog would be more efficient. So I have to dig out the box of spare vacuum parts and knock over 2 other boxes of stuff I need to pick up first. Also need to move all the chairs and stuff so the vacuum can get in there. Fix the vacuum, it also needs emptying, but the trash is full because I couldn't be bothered to take it out after cleaning up after dinner last night. Take out the trash, put a new bag in, empty vacuum, plug in vacuum and finally succeed in finishing 1 chore. If cleaning just was cleaning, one simple well defined task with obvious results, I'd be less frustrated.
Never put grease of any kind down the drain. Never. Let it congeal and throw it on the garbage. Or soak it up in papertowel and throw it out in the garbage. Source: I've seen first hand what it will do to the inside of main drain pipes. And no amount of draino or hot water will fix it.
I know!!! I always have an empty jar for it! Was so looking forward to moving into a place where other people hadnt messed up the pipes, but then the guy I moved in with just either doesnt care or keeps forgetting. In any case, if I complain, itll somehow be my fault theres a grease clog in there without me ever pouring bacon grease down there. I can take the argument with my partner again (which I'll never be able to win), or I can deal with the drain (which I might be able to clean)... path of least resistance and all that...
I mostly get angry having piles of stuff taking up space because I literally have nowhere to put them. So I have to leave them there to take up space. And then I get mad at myself for not getting my thumbs out and fix placed for the stuff. Those day I mostly end up throwing stuff around and then sit down by the computer overwhelmed and and wanting to play something but I can't because I feel guilty playing instead of cleaning.
My GF gets mad when she has to clean. I don’t. I don’t care. It’s just something that has to get done so I do it. So many things in life are things that just have to get done. I think I spend most of my life doing things that have to get done.
Yes, I feel resentful that I have to clean. I hate it so much
Nope. I like seeing how much better my house looks when I clean.
I do this as I’m starting go off on one how disgusting they all are n none of it’s my mess as I put my stuff away! Just generally snapping on everyone n then I calm down get really into it n wen I finished cleaning I’m so relaxed n happy n realise I love it really even the moaning 🤣
Get yourself some headphones and a good audiobook or podcast! Makes it so much more enjoyable.
Yea, I think it's a learned behavior tho. Growing up my mom treated cleaning up more like a punishment than a regular human activity.
This is why I plan it and do it when I can be alone or just one son is home not all of them. It actually can put me in a great mood to feel accomplished and the house feels so clean. I have times I get super grumpy with the daily chores if it feels like no one is helping taking advantage of me.
I like my space clean so no, I don’t despise chores
Angry cleaning is the best. It gets the job done. And it is soooo easy to be angry about cleaning.
Try playing some music next time when you clean
I usually do, it doesn’t make much, if any, difference.
No I wouldn't say angry dude. I do get a little irritable but, I know it's got to be done so, I knuckle down **AND DO IT**.😊
I get like that when I’m dealing with clutter, paperwork, etc. I hate having to organize stuff and make tons of little decisions. It gives me a fuzzy kind of anxiety that can build up and get really draining. I have to deal with stuff like that in small bursts. (Of course a lot of people don’t let clutter build up in the first place.)
turn the ac up! you're getting yousrself heated i remember being told that the heat is the most violent time of the year. get a nice cool llittle towel and keep it on your shoulder like a little buddy so that you have it nearly to help with the heat! sorry to hearr about your exxperience.
It doesn’t usually matter how hot or cold it is. I could be cleaning in the middle of winter with the windows open and I’d still get cranky. But thanks for the advice, my brother gets really overheated and it’ll help him.
for sure buddy! i mean no offense by this but are you adhd? or possibly even bipolar? but i get it i totally hate ccleaning too. could also possibly be depresssion. when im sad my anger comes out. there is a saying that anger is a result of unresolved depressioin anyways take care hope maybe some of this can help you
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 8, I don’t take meds because the side effects were pretty bad, although I’m thinking about trying meds again because my adhd symptoms are really starting to effect my life. I also almost definitely have depression, but I can’t afford a therapist right now, so I have no way to deal with it.
yep yep. an ex of mine felt the same about his adhd medication he had as a kid and it made him feel really weird, unalive almost. like a zombie id be careful with it because stuff like adderall is basically meth in pill form. idk. im trying to think of solutions myself as far as trying out perscription medication. i have an issue with big pharma and that entire industry. But, maybe it'll work? Just try it, see how it goes, if it doesnt work out jump online or call a friend and ask them what they do that works for them. peace and love!
Before, during, and after! ADHD!
When I used to live with my family? Yes. Also the usage of ineffective methods and supplies were forced on me besides the toxic behaviour of my family, nothong is allowed being done differently. After learning some good and more effective methods from the internet and having my own stuff in the apartment it's not daunting anymore. It's a form of selfcare. I gift myself a clean and tidy space more time and energy efficiently.
What's your relationship with it growing up? Was your mom an angry cleaner? Always did it herself & made you know it? Or, was there no cleaning so you don't know how to efficiently do it? I like cleaning because I was a people pleaser in an incredibly abusive home, so at 5 I learned to be valuable to be left alone. If you are already cleaning no one will yell, usually. It was my safe space & is now muscle memory. So, I'm not cleaning-I'm meditating. And then I "wake up" a lil while later...& house is spotless! I've no idea where anything is, but it's organized wherever it is! It's also kinda magic how anything can be cleaned up! Any mess, any chaos...and it's such a human endeavor. I've lived in tents, trailers with no heat or electricity, but I've always been able to make it a home. It's not cleaning-it's smoothing out your home.
Growing up my mom was a hoarder that, if we did attempt to clean, would yell at me anytime it wasn’t done perfectly and honestly, the way she did things was pretty ineffective since we r was just moving things from one room to another. She also never allowed me to do anything like dishes or laundry because “you’re a kid, you should just enjoy your childhood”, so I never learned how to do those things until fairly recently. And my dad never did cleaning because “that’s a woman’s job”.
Interesting. I fucking love cleaning
No. Taking out your frustrations on people around you because you're having to perform basic responsibilities is not acceptable behavior.
u/flat5 I don’t understand why you took the time to respond, if your answer was going to include a condescending comment. Did the OP’s question upset or offend you? Or, do you feel you are being helpful by adding an arbitrary and demeaning response.
I mean they’re not wrong lol
Yes, it did. People who lash out at those around them because they're doing something they don't enjoy offend me. That type of behavior should offend everyone.