The longtail cat talisman would finally be useful! Taking zero damage from falls less than 20 meters would be pretty sick and would make me very adventurous.
I would have to also get very good at determining on sight how much 20 meters is
They're used for various recreational reasons too, you should be able to find one at any sporting goods store. Golf, shooting sports and hunting are some common uses.
to be fair, if my measurement device produced a result of > ~18 meters, I wouldn't take the risk of dropping that far unless I absolutely had to. Even limiting myself to taking falls of ~15 meters with no harm is impressively useful.
Because if you just "take" (ie use rune item, the thing doesn't work)...
It should still work if you make an animal or insect take some money and then kill it though 
Somebody else mentioned its the opposite of taxes and made me realize in the us avg total tax rate is about 35percent between federal and state so youd still need to work to pay taxes lol
But if you remember, it will give you some sleepiness, frenzy, poison, scarlet rot, hypothermia and some bleeding. And this will happen every time you wear it. So you must use it carefully not to cycle yourself in a constant suffering.
That's a common misconception. It doesn't give you any of these, it raises your resistance to all of them, but ER doesn't technically start you at 0 for a status effect, it starts you at a set distance from proccing the effect. Increasing your resistance increases your maximum distance from proccing the effect, but your actual distance needs time to catch up.
Never take it off and you just have a passive buff to almost everything in life. I mean, immunity and robustness are just too good in real life, and focus can be really optimal too.
But that’s just the bar of your resistance increasing. So really when you put it on that’s just your normal level of resistance to that and as the bar drains you’re being less sleep/frenzies/rotted/etc than you were before you put it on
It's not, there's that one place in Arkansas that does it. You can also go to old gold mine museums and pan for gold.
I wouldn't fully go into gold prospecting though, that wrecks ecosystems.
I'm curious how this would translate to real life physics. In game, it slowly increases health points, but how would that work in real life? Does it actively close wounds? How fast does it work? Is it like in game where you can go from the verge of death to perfect health in a few minutes? Does it negate or cure chronic health issues?
Well it would slow down aging
Since after you become an adult, cells start dying and producing less cells to replace them, by the time you're old, you become weak since not enough cells to fight sicknesses and then die from old age
i would argue that it might even completely stop ageing using the beggar as baseline a tarnished has 414 hp the blessed dew talisman heals 2 hp a second thats around ~0,5 percent of your health assuming health is the amount of healthy cells of your body the blessed few talisman heals 0,5 percent of the avg dude cells whilst i’m not sure i would think that this out heals natural cell decay completely
Nah, it would just straight up give us cancer, not immortality.
How aging works is that our cells make a shit ton of mistakes when duplicating but they fix themselves or commit unalive in order to not cause problems. We have telomeres that act like a buffer for most of the errors. However, as we age, these telomeres shorten which allows errors to sneak past.
If we were constantly regenerating HP, that would just speed up the rate of cell diversion which would increase your chances of cancer.
Im imagining someone applying for a job, having a generally default resume, until they bring up having a magic pottery shard that increases their efficiency in all skills by 15%.
Yeah but with that one you can regenerate 1 per second, that in real life terms is like 0 to 100% in like 200 seconds (assuming bases real life stats are 10)
Depends on what HP actually is in real life. Like what is your max hp and how do you look like at max hp?
Is aging the same as taking damage? Or is it a stacking debuff?
Is tiredness or sickness related to hp?
Green turtle talisman, as a guy who gained quite a bit of weight from Rona and becoming a parent, i am definitely lacking on stamina and gas more often than not when working out.
I believe if every tarnished could hold two, they would be holding this and Golden Scarab. Nothing like banking like a mofo while everyone else is out sick and dying.
It'd be more like *how can she slap?*
Edit: isn't that what Shabriri's does tho. This one just makes you die twice as fast. It just sucks, unless you really depressed that is
The silver scarab, so that whatever i might happen to be looking for has a 20% chance higher of happening. I wouldnt use it to be looking fpr anything in particular, but i wonder what would happen if i tried to prove that a supposedly purely random system is not actually truly random, because of that 20% increase in chance.
So basically make statisticians cry
Moon of Nokstella. I could really use some extra memory slots to help me with my poor memory. It would also be cool if it let you think of more things at once. You could see the big picture and multiple details at once, which would be a huge boon to problem solving skills
Stargazer, how is this even a question? I don't get into enough fights to make most of them all that useful, so I'll take ratcheting up the IQ, please and thank you
Stargazer is probably the best choice, but Marika's Soreseal is tempting.
The real question is, what does it mean to increase Arcane, Faith, and Mind in real life?
I was more or less thinking of rot and poison as like “brain rot” like when i’m around stupidity. Like i get more powerful the more i see stupidity. But since i do have a revenge complex. It could go the same way as gaining more power after enacting revenge.
> For me it's the blessed dew talisman
We already gradually heal though. You aren't tarnished, you don't need locket for your HP regen.
Pick something like fire resist and become the worlds greatest firefighter or smth.
>We already gradually heal though.
Yes but I will be able to heal faster than anyone if I get a cut, scrap, sprain, or broke something I will be back to full health much faster than anyone
This is a hard one, so many good ones to choose from. Mottled necklace to make it so you can't get sick as easily as other people, golden scarab so that paycheck would be bigger, old lords talisman so my caffeine would last longer in my body, depends on how the erdtree favors and health talismans would translate to irl. Would they make you live longer? Or just make it a lot harder to hurt you or gas you out? Bull goats so when people go to push or hit you they just hurt themselves on your chad poise. Moon of nokstella for increased memory. Any defense talisman would be great too
The longtail cat talisman would finally be useful! Taking zero damage from falls less than 20 meters would be pretty sick and would make me very adventurous. I would have to also get very good at determining on sight how much 20 meters is
carry a tape measure tied to a stone wherever u go lol
Laser measurement devices exist. Ive seen the police use them for issuing parking tickets
They're used for various recreational reasons too, you should be able to find one at any sporting goods store. Golf, shooting sports and hunting are some common uses.
Way cheaper to get one for construction. They have lower range and cost far less. Like $20 vs $200.
Or just a bag of prism stones lol
Oops. That was aactually 20.0012 Meters, now you die.
to be fair, if my measurement device produced a result of > ~18 meters, I wouldn't take the risk of dropping that far unless I absolutely had to. Even limiting myself to taking falls of ~15 meters with no harm is impressively useful.
just carry a 20 to 22 meter rope..
Make it like a yo yo. Hmm how high is this? Oh I know, *unrolls 22 meters of rope like a yo-yo*
I would use something like a string line with a plumbbob or weight tied at 19 meters
HUGE FOR ROCK CLIMBERS
My friends have been trying to get me to their bouldering gym for a while now anyway
but if you go over the 20 meters you instantly DIE edit: jesus christ apparently a lot of you mfkers want to die
I see this as an absolute win!
That's fine, I'd be dead anyway even if I didn't have the talisman. That's a fuckin 6 story building, don't think imma jump of those any time soon.
The talisman doesn't do that, the tarnished just has weak ass bones
*fallls 21 meters* *fucking dies*
3xcept irl youd only get one chance to get it wrong lol
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Great jar talisman, I can hold more shopping bags for my mum
Chad response
*Carry as much as you can — grow big and strong.*
-my mom upon seeing me get all the bags in one go
And out of nowhere, “wholesome” pushes to the front of the pack. 👍🏻
Hell yeah.
Blue Dancer Charm. I wanna run around naked drop kicking trees.
if you think about it, clothes compared to armors are closer to being naked so you wouldn't even need to be naked
Let the dude live his best life
That's for an unrelated morale bonus.
Na bruh I gotta minmax
Depending on the trees, you could be doing that right now
Golden Scarab - increases income by 20%
Wow I borrow a dollar and have 1.2 dollar, pay back a dollar and still have 0.2 dollar wtf
Infinite money glitch
We just call that interest
Reddit discovers banks
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wouldn't you have to kill them and take their money for that to work though?
Because if you just "take" (ie use rune item, the thing doesn't work)... It should still work if you make an animal or insect take some money and then kill it though 
Finally, my trained thief monkey can actually make me some *real* bank...
Details.
Me heading to the local hospice center and asking them to hand me a wad of cash as they die
Somebody else mentioned its the opposite of taxes and made me realize in the us avg total tax rate is about 35percent between federal and state so youd still need to work to pay taxes lol
So, the average net increase from the +20% income would be +13% after taxes (65% of 20%).
Don't forget the Alternative Minimum Tax on marginal talisman gains!
Aw man that's a good one
that's basically the opposite of taxes
Wait until the Golden Scarab tax is adopted.
You mean Gatekeeper Gostoc's tax? Rest of the world is tax-free
That ability with a credit card that gives me money back on purchases + 20% is go great
The pearldrake talisman protects from all nonphysical damage. So please, protect my psyche
You might survive a single lightning strike or have the ability to reach into fire
Just not beeing burnt when my shower randomly gets hot would be enough
Lolololololol
Oh my god, so I'm not alone with this, I hate when the shower decides to change temperature in a second and burns me or freezes me
Sacrificial Twig : Like hell I'd lose my runes upon death.
bros taking it to the grave
He's actually taking it from the grave lmaoo
Keep the government out of your pocket lol, I agree
Just pick it back up when you die.
longtail cat I'd be able to fall 19.99 meters and not get hurt at all ofc a tiny bit higher and I'm instantly dead
It'd be really convenient to drop from my apartment balcony and not risk breaking any ankles
DAEDICAR'S WOE 💀
You would get jumped in the street for no reason with that talisman 🤣
That's Shabriri's Woe actually 🤓 Daedicar make you take double damage
Daedicar: You think stubbing your toe was bad before
My wife has EDS and stubbing her toe practically breaks it, so I think she has this talisman already
Shit I don't even have a syndrome I just have a very low tolerance and I already think I have this talisman lmao
Whats the one that grants intelligence because i would use that one so i dont do stupid shit all the time lmao
Stargazer heirloom. My pick as well
Marika's Scarseal
It also increases faith, as genius as you'd be you'll be plotting to be the next pope before long
Just use this faith boost to believe in yourself. Some motivation buff.
I will do you one better, worship yourself. Buffs and debuffs to mental health.
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Getting older means I don’t have to imagine. 🫤
Trust me, being smart doesn't make you stop doing stupid shit. It just makes you feel even more stupid when you do it.
Silver Scarab, and I’d just gamble and buy lottery tickets every day
Mottled Necklace +1, increased robustness, immunity, and focus are OP with the gameplay elements we actually have to deal with.
Mottled necklace would have gone crazy 4 years ago
But if you remember, it will give you some sleepiness, frenzy, poison, scarlet rot, hypothermia and some bleeding. And this will happen every time you wear it. So you must use it carefully not to cycle yourself in a constant suffering.
That's a common misconception. It doesn't give you any of these, it raises your resistance to all of them, but ER doesn't technically start you at 0 for a status effect, it starts you at a set distance from proccing the effect. Increasing your resistance increases your maximum distance from proccing the effect, but your actual distance needs time to catch up.
Never take it off and you just have a passive buff to almost everything in life. I mean, immunity and robustness are just too good in real life, and focus can be really optimal too.
But that’s just the bar of your resistance increasing. So really when you put it on that’s just your normal level of resistance to that and as the bar drains you’re being less sleep/frenzies/rotted/etc than you were before you put it on
Erdtree's ~~Bessling~~ ~~Favor~~ Blessing +2
Favor
Fixed
Good boi
nvm, changed it back
Hahaha fair play
Radagon scarseal is basically bodybuilding with increased chance of injury
If you stub your toe it'll probably break off or something lol
Yhea but you get extra vigor so balanced
You grow two extra toes so you can afford to lose one
Grafting..
Godrick was clearly the rightful Elden Lord
So, steroids?
Spear talisman to increase my thrusting
Dragon crest greatshield talisman for sure, 30% less physical damage taken would be huge
Stargazer heirloom so I can be smarter
Silver Scarab *any of you say Millicent's prosthesis, I'm watching you*
Nice one, like finding $20 in your pocket/on the street.
Lolololololol
How would that help you in real life?
Finding more shit 🤷 Go on a diamond mine tour where they let you search for diamonds, etc
I didn't think Diamond mine tours were very common
It's not, there's that one place in Arkansas that does it. You can also go to old gold mine museums and pan for gold. I wouldn't fully go into gold prospecting though, that wrecks ecosystems.
Increases match rate when online dating.
CONCEALING VEIL so i can be a crouching ghost that haunts old demented people.
That's the best use case you can come up with?
If there’s any group of people who really need to be taken down a peg, it’s seniors with cognitive decline.
All my homies hate the elderly
Lord of Blood’s Exultation Talisman I’d walk past some women on the street and boom incredible strength unlocked
lmaooooo
shabriri’s woe
You tryna get jumped walking home?
You see Shabriri over there hit the woah?
The one that makes me glow yellow.
"I have been Chosen by God." Let the church and all religions lose their shit
I'm curious how this would translate to real life physics. In game, it slowly increases health points, but how would that work in real life? Does it actively close wounds? How fast does it work? Is it like in game where you can go from the verge of death to perfect health in a few minutes? Does it negate or cure chronic health issues?
Well it would slow down aging Since after you become an adult, cells start dying and producing less cells to replace them, by the time you're old, you become weak since not enough cells to fight sicknesses and then die from old age
i would argue that it might even completely stop ageing using the beggar as baseline a tarnished has 414 hp the blessed dew talisman heals 2 hp a second thats around ~0,5 percent of your health assuming health is the amount of healthy cells of your body the blessed few talisman heals 0,5 percent of the avg dude cells whilst i’m not sure i would think that this out heals natural cell decay completely
Nah, it would just straight up give us cancer, not immortality. How aging works is that our cells make a shit ton of mistakes when duplicating but they fix themselves or commit unalive in order to not cause problems. We have telomeres that act like a buffer for most of the errors. However, as we age, these telomeres shorten which allows errors to sneak past. If we were constantly regenerating HP, that would just speed up the rate of cell diversion which would increase your chances of cancer.
yay cancer wait this isn’t the binding of isaac
Have you ever heard of axolotls? That's probably what it'd be like.
Green Dog Talisman :3
Would probably help if your lifting heavy stuff I guess
Wtf is a “turtle”?
It's a type of dog with a shell on its back
Ah I think I might’ve seen one of those in Elden Ring
My bad it's dog
Shard of alexander 100% skills irl are an entirely different concept and now im 15% better at my own.
Shard of alexander raises the attack power of skills. So you'd be 15% more effective at hurting someone with an excel spreadsheet.
Become a boxer 👍
hell yeah, time to get a job
Im imagining someone applying for a job, having a generally default resume, until they bring up having a magic pottery shard that increases their efficiency in all skills by 15%.
Takers Cameo, so I could kill people to replenish my lifeforce.
Or Godskin Sawddling Cloth, so you could heal by beating the shit out of ppl. More sustainable this way (just get into bar fights).
True. All I need to do is hang out around bars late night whenever I hurt myself. Easy pickings.
Or learn professional fighting , you would be unstoppable
Great Jars Arsenal so I can hit that 150kg PR on benchpress
Sorry to tell ya but in real life we already gradually restore HP
Yeah but with that one you can regenerate 1 per second, that in real life terms is like 0 to 100% in like 200 seconds (assuming bases real life stats are 10)
True dat
Depends on what HP actually is in real life. Like what is your max hp and how do you look like at max hp? Is aging the same as taking damage? Or is it a stacking debuff? Is tiredness or sickness related to hp?
Green turtle talisman, as a guy who gained quite a bit of weight from Rona and becoming a parent, i am definitely lacking on stamina and gas more often than not when working out.
I believe if every tarnished could hold two, they would be holding this and Golden Scarab. Nothing like banking like a mofo while everyone else is out sick and dying.
The shout attacks one, so I can deal damage by screaming at people
Or you just scream 15% louder
If my mom had that i think I'd actually go deaf.
0 multiplied is still zero.
I mean, my shout damage rn is not high but not zero
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It increases by a percentage, 7/9/11% more FP when you have 0 is still 0.
But also no spells lol
They can use troll's roar
Maybe post threads too
the one to increase faith cause i have none
"don't you dare go hollow" +10 faith
Do they have a “get bitches” talisman?
Deadicars woe talisman attracts attention so maybe that?
Perfect
You, however, are maidenless
It'd be more like *how can she slap?* Edit: isn't that what Shabriri's does tho. This one just makes you die twice as fast. It just sucks, unless you really depressed that is
Erdtree plus 2
Turtle pls
Both the soreseals, so I can become super competent in most field but die if a fly lands on me. The latter interests me more
taker's cameo. If i get injured I can squash an insect and get healed from it.
This one would pretty much grant eternal life as long as you classify who your enemies are correctly. My enemies are chickens, and now I am eternal.
The silver scarab, so that whatever i might happen to be looking for has a 20% chance higher of happening. I wouldnt use it to be looking fpr anything in particular, but i wonder what would happen if i tried to prove that a supposedly purely random system is not actually truly random, because of that 20% increase in chance. So basically make statisticians cry
Love the concept of not even using it for your own gain, but purely to piss of statisticians lol.
Moon of Nokstella. I could really use some extra memory slots to help me with my poor memory. It would also be cool if it let you think of more things at once. You could see the big picture and multiple details at once, which would be a huge boon to problem solving skills
Hear me out Arrow's sting talisman, so I could kill someone with a child's toy bow and arrow and claim i couldn't possibly have known
Green Turtle Talisman, recover stamina *check's notes* 17% faster, that's 17% more gooning
Stargazer, how is this even a question? I don't get into enough fights to make most of them all that useful, so I'll take ratcheting up the IQ, please and thank you
Stargazer is probably the best choice, but Marika's Soreseal is tempting. The real question is, what does it mean to increase Arcane, Faith, and Mind in real life?
Stargazer heirloom. Scarlet rot? Sir I have brain rot
Prosthesis-Wearer's Heirloom #CLUMSY
Golden scarab on paydays and this talisman on other days. Stonks + healmth
Kindred of rot’s exultation
You like breaking Geneva's convention, don't you ?
I was more or less thinking of rot and poison as like “brain rot” like when i’m around stupidity. Like i get more powerful the more i see stupidity. But since i do have a revenge complex. It could go the same way as gaining more power after enacting revenge.
Arsenal or starscourge. Whichever would increase my bench and squat more.
The turtle one so my stamina would regenerate quicker. I think that’s what it does right?
Green Turtle Talisman. I'm a runner, so extra stamina regen would definitely help. Lol
Hmmmm, probably crepus's vial and become batman or godskin saddling cloth and become a boxer.
> For me it's the blessed dew talisman We already gradually heal though. You aren't tarnished, you don't need locket for your HP regen. Pick something like fire resist and become the worlds greatest firefighter or smth.
>We already gradually heal though. Yes but I will be able to heal faster than anyone if I get a cut, scrap, sprain, or broke something I will be back to full health much faster than anyone
Gold scarab getting that bread fr
Dragoncrest greatshield talisman,nothing can hurt me as much anymore
This. Instantly healy small wounds like little cuts.
Turtle talisman Can you imagine how great it would feel to rapidly recover after an intense physical activity?
Silver Scarab. To help me find the maidens ;_;
This is a hard one, so many good ones to choose from. Mottled necklace to make it so you can't get sick as easily as other people, golden scarab so that paycheck would be bigger, old lords talisman so my caffeine would last longer in my body, depends on how the erdtree favors and health talismans would translate to irl. Would they make you live longer? Or just make it a lot harder to hurt you or gas you out? Bull goats so when people go to push or hit you they just hurt themselves on your chad poise. Moon of nokstella for increased memory. Any defense talisman would be great too
Longtail Cat Talisman. I want the false confidence regarding fall damage in real life that everyone had when they first picked up that talisman.
Blessed dew or green turtle plz
DragonCrest greatshield talisman