I already have an Ash of War IRL: No Skill

You can type. You can be a temp. 🤣🤣🤣

That's a steep qualification for temp - we're usually content if they can breathe autonomously

Ah, I guess that jobs out the window then. I am now ***breathing manually***

Always remember, overclocking your lungs will wear the parts down faster.

At least I got kick

Damn you don't even have Ash of War: Kick?

Troll roar would be handy at the grocery store.

Karens already have this Ash of War equipped

Does no damage but instead builds up your madness meter.

Nah, they just got a supercharged version of Shabriri's howl

The one where you smash your ass on the ground

I do this every time I try to skate.

Me too brother 😂😂😂

Booty blast?

[удалено]

Ground slam

Ask adriana chechik how it goes

The clear choice is Lightning Ram.

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄

Pre-nerf Bloodhound's Step.

The only right answer, you’d basically be the flash

#BARRY

This is the way

Do you know de way?

Dude I had french in school for 4 years and dunno nothing anymore, but shit like this will always be in the darkest corners of my brain. Fucking core memory.

Omelette du fromage?

Si señor

lol wow that brought back a memory.. Senior year I was taking Spanish 2. I had already taken 2 years of French. We had an oral presentation to do and I was standing at the front of the class reciting the paragraph we were supposed to have memorized. I got stuck on Cheese. Couldn’t remember queso to save my life when suddenly it came to me and I was able to finish the rest of the presentation. I did notice that I started to get some weird looks during that last half though. Once I was done the teacher said “That was.. good. But next time try to do it all in Spanish.” My brain had brought up fromage instead of queso and then I had absentmindedly finished the rest of it in French.

Weird bug, you should get an update. But I know what you mean. English is my second language, first one is German and because I started learning it from 1st grade on I sometimes think in English without even noticing. I even talk to myself in English when I'm alone since my time in Britain. I love my mother language and would always choose German over English, but brains are weird.

Yeah once you go on to third language it feels like the brain classify “primary language” and “secondary languages” so the secondary ones can get mixed up easy…

Omelette du fromage!!!

I haven’t played in a while what did they do to nerf it? Last time I played they buffed arcane and faith spells/weapons

I forget the details, but basically the Bloodhound Step can't be spammed as quickly and I think costs more. I think it was determined to be getting unfair with some stuff in PVP and tracking.

Lowered I-frames with each use and consumed more FP

Haven’t played for a bit. What’s the nerfed version like now?

It is still good in PVE if u use it situational when you won't be able to do a normal dodge, but you cannot spam it anymore. It consumes more Stamina and FP, also the I frames are reduced and the range gets shorter when you spam it. Some people still abuse it in PVP because they don't give a single f but it is way easier to deal with those people now.

seppuku because it would be fun to stab yourself and live in front of my homies

Absolutely based.

Wanna see my homie nates party trick?

Bruh can you imagine what a mess you'd make though, have you seen how much blood splatters

You don’t have bonfires nor do you have healing spells. Good luck with that.

It does like 10% of your health. ​ Im pretty sure ive lost more than that IRL.

Same but i literally just want to die

Relatable

Men just want one thing. And it’s disgusting!

Chad answer

You could start a freak Show of sorts. Make good money for private showings.

You can do it at least once for a short amount of time

I still have no idea why the Godskin Stitcher didn't get a unique skill considering it's wielded by a superior to the apostles. Also Black Flame Tornado for the win, Im on a character rn where I traveled to Altus and glitched the Apostle to get the peeler and scouring flames at lvl20.

howd ya do that?

If you get him in a certain hole in a certain area he’s either permanently stuck or he falls off. I can’t remember which

If you drag him all the way to the right and keep backing up there's a drop off, let him fall in the hole and when he goes to do the 3-hit combo he goes to jump attack and gets stuck.

Based

it has a unique charged R2

Stitcher doesn't need a unique aow, it's op af by itself.

Endure

Bout to get hit by a car? Endure. You take some damage, but you don’t move, their car folds in half at your feet like an accordion.

Gimme that Vow of the Indominable.

I'M FUCKIN' INVINCIBLE!

Red sun

RED SUN OVER PARADISE

Golden rays of the Glorious sunshine

Setting down, such a blood-red light

Now the Animals slowly retreat

To the shadows – out of sight

Arid winds blow across the mountains

Kick...double amputee 🦿🦿

Good shit.


Life steal fist

[удалено]

I'd pick Holy Ground. It still heals but without the cost of hurting someone else.

Live forever

Quickstep so I can I-frame all the emotional Damage life throws at me.

You need bhs for that

But you can't spam it effectively anymore. If every second of your life is misery, you'll need even more i frames.

Then stop using bullgoat set and light-roll for more distance with both bhs and roll (roll-bhs-roll-bhs-roll until you can't no more)

Dude what is going on in your life that you would need to be able to conjure a flaming tornado

I’m in Ohio

Fair enough

I'm sorry.

Oh so you’d probably want Seppuku then. Source: I’m also from Ohio

Ohhh is a old town of Caelid no?

I think the real question is why not?

Waves of Albinurac Genocide

The one from the Placidusax sword. Imagine turning into a lightning cloud in front of some. No court would ever believe that, that actually happened.

So useful, too. Need to cross a road, navigate a crowd, leave an awkward situation? Boom. Thundercloud.

*proceeds to violently crash into the ground and cause the earth to explode in a violent flash of red lightning*

This guy gets it.

Golden Vow Tired and cant finish your workout? Pledge yourself to honor The Erdtree in PR! You are walking down the stree with your wife and son after taking them to see The Mark of Zorro and a masked man is pointing a gun at you? Pledge yourself to honor The Erdtree in battle! It's Friday night and your bro can't come to the party cus he is sick? Pledgr to honor The Erdtree in battle! It's great for work, day to day activities and life threathening situations. Get your Golden Vow today for only 99.99$!

wait... am I beating the ~~shit~~ sickness out of my bro??

I think theyre mixing the spell and ash togethe spell boosts allies.. but imagine their surprise when they go to check if it worked and just uncontrollably start smashing their friends face in due to the pledge they've made to the erdtree.. and all their friend wanted was some chicken noodle soup 😔🤣

Pov: Your sick friend asks you to bring them some chicken noodle soup, so you go to the store to get some. All the store had was whoop-ass literally every kind. Canned whoop-ass, glutenfree whoop-ass, deep fried whoop-ass, caffeine free whoop-ass, lactose free whoop-ass, diet whoop-ass, frozen whoop-ass, pre-made whoop-ass, whoop-ass mist, sparkling whoop-ass, whoop-ass cola, Dr. whoop-ass, Mr. whoop-ass, mellow whoop-ass, whoop-ass dew, whoop-ass D, purple whoop-ass, the disgusting off brand equivalent smash-butt, and even the most illusive kind of all Whoop-Ass 3D the Assening extended edition the director's cut.

Holy ground. Healing magic is quite valuable

I searched this post for Holy ground and I am happy others pick it too. Imagine rushing to a car crash scene and holding your shield up to heal/save the victims. Basically Jesus combined with Captain America.

Would you even need a true shield? With all the “shields” in ER, You could probably hoist a hat and have it work

Nah nah nah, a dinner plate would work better. LOOK ITS JEFF AND HIS HOLY DINNER PLATE

genuinely, any heal would be so broken; you'd never need a hospital again.

Considering you can heal others with it, you’d probably be assassinated by healthcare companies

Only in America.

Thankfully, the higher ups are revenants. Your heals will now stun them and chunk tons of life.

I think Stealth ash of war so i can steal everything soo easily

Assassins gambit

I already cut myself without going stealthy

Storm assault , one you can navigate past things and probably able to aim it better to get some crazy moves. Can also dunk on people Alternately and far more cool is thundercloud form because i mean…turn into awesome lightning and dash real fast before landing down back to normal ? Its sweet

> Can also dunk on people Wtf, did you imbue the Quality Basketball with Storm Assault?

Hoarax Loux's earth shaker

Bro who hurt you

Everyone in the immediate area apparently

Imagine being at a party and a remix of The Movements JUMP starts playing. Would be a fun party game. Jump or fucking die.

Waterfowl dance to continue malenia's legacy of mass genocide irl >:>

Thousands of corpses left in your wake, you are parking-gur8779, Blade of malenia And you have never know da feet

Bloodhound step. need to walk somewhere just spam it all day

Do you have enough FP ?

BHS with no FP is still quickstep lol

Quickstep without i-frames though, important to remember for when you're crossing any roads

Kick, just simply kick because why not have one powerful leg

Already have one powerful arm.

Raptors of the mist would be absolutely busted to have IRL

About to get hit by a train? Raptors. You jump 10 feet into the air and smash the car in two

Golden Land man healing really fast would be cool

You mean Holy Ground?

Reduvia blood blade, I can just shoot blood at ppl with zero consequences to my health

STD’S

Scarlett Rot

Yes, STDs

Vow of the indomitable. Its literally (temporary) invincibility.

Not an ash but the light spell would be well handy. I mean, healing would be great too, but I can NEVER find the goddamn torch.

You’re looking for a torch irl?

In some countries that's the term for flashlight

But that needs batteries. This one i can put in my pocket and take out anytime i want and it stays lit!

Carian Retaliation

For what? Got people throwing spells at you?

you clearly don't live in New jersey

Or LA

Just let me dream

Do you not?

Sword dance

That one’s probably actually doable irl though

You could probably learn that if the sword was- nevermind, I’m thinking of wild strikes

Omg they made the sword from Elden Ring into a real thing

Determination

Definitely Thundercloud Form lol. It’d be super cool, and would basically allow me to fly assuming I can move vertically with it. Another fun one would be Ancient Dragon Lightning Spear, imagine sniping a bird out of the sky from like a mile away with it.

I CAST CRAGBALDE ON MY DI...

First you gotta plunge it on the floor It's worth the risk? Definitely

It would change the color of the rocks depending of where you do it? I mean, black i you do it on pavement, grey if you do it in cement, white if you do it in a marble countertop...

the getting my shit together Ashe of war 💀

Miyazaki never added it because it’s too op

Bloodhound’s Step. There’s just so much you can do with the ability to teleport 30 feet in any direction.

Ancient Lightning Spear - just so many practical applications!!

How many times a day do you want to throw lightning bolts?

On average? 47.

Maaaan you need to be pretty smart to throw 47 lightning bolt a day

Mists of slumber. ANY person wants to irritate me for literally reason im making my fists a pretty lilac and your head black and blue lol

Regalia of eochaid's ash of war would be pretty cool

Sepuku

Seppuku

That's already an ash of war IRL you just need to level your vigor to survive it

You can survive It relatively easy if you put It on a knife, however the irl versión comes with a lot of debuffs like Blood loss,weakness, pay for the hospital to treat you, etc And the Buff has Ran out before you recovery from it

Some sites of grace in different areas cost you no runes for hospital visits when you rest at them

Why, ass slam of course!

Lightning Ram because it's the only ash of war worth using

Nihil! Nihil! Nihil!

Fuckin, Assassin's Gambit to be honest.

Bloodhound’s step because teleportation

Piercing fang 🔥

What ash of war is that in the picture? Is it using black flames?

Black flame tornado

You telling me no one wants the Sword of Night and Flame to have either a huge wave of fire or kamehameha? Y’all basic

What the fuck imma gonna do with a beam and a huge wave of fire?

Spinning weapon or spinning strikes, I want to be a beyblade lol

Blood hound step, cuz appearing behind my enemies like Byakuya suddenly would be the shit

The skill from bolt of gransax convince people I’m a Demi-god start a cult and take over the world edit:only the skill no weapon required

Noble presence

Bolt of Gransax

Isn’t like ancient lightning bolt infinite energy?

Any one that gets me some bitches....

Thats too bad, here take this ash of war: "no skill".

Mists of slumber

Vyke's spear AoW. May chaos... take... the world.

blood slash or war cry

Seppuku.

Determination, since I'm quite lacking in that department.

Vow of the Indomitable

Parry: imagine somebody attacking u and he starts freaking out why he can't move for like 8 seconds.

Could you imagine getting in a fight with someone and they fucking parry you

Erdtree heal. Greatly heal yourself and others. you would be a god

Ground slam. I don't believe that needs explanation.

Lifesteal Punch. Just think about how much more useful it would be irl, since in the game it only works on people. If you got jumped you would only need to land a single punch on someone and they would rendered unconscious, and you'd be healed if you were hurt at all. It doesn't even do all that much damage so you wouldn't have to worry about seriously injuring anyone either. Also, White Shadow's Lure would be nice to have. Is an angry Karen yelling at you? Just use this Ash of War to distract her lol

Endure

Life steal fist Who says you dont heal by wounding others huh?

Assassins gambit all the way

Destin death

Beast’s Roar.

Lions claw. I wanna do a cool flip with a sledgehammer

Assassin's gambit.

Holy Ground. I would use it to become the second Jesus.