I ain't had a woman in years and my palms are too hairy to hide.

Clothes rip like the incredible hulk (I'm fat)

I spit when i talk

I fuck anything that walks

When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits

"How you gonna breastfeed me mom? You ain't got no tits!"

I lay awake n strap myself in the bed

I always thought he said his balls are too hairy to hide 💀

Hairy palms was a threat to kids who jerk off too much. If you play with your penis your palms will grow hair

Ohhh damn didnt know that Edit: Holy shit that line is so much more fun to listen to now

Going nBlind was also a symptom of choking the chicken.

🤲🏼

Take the first quarter of that line and that's just me "I ain't had a woman"

" Whoops" Was going to use this line

I said I’m sorry Mama, I never meant to make you cry.

My step father said I sucked in the bed

Are you okay?

He’s fucked in the head

better question would be "Is he nuts?" and to answer that, no, he's insane!

This guy didn't get to play with Teddy Ruxpin instead

He did but only after his stepfather fucked him in his butt, got some head, busted a nut and got some rest

Bastard wouldn’t even eat nothing, matter of fact he hung himself in the bedroom and now he’s dead

My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips Mom’s spaghetti

They make it all up, there’s no such thing.

Like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans

It just means so much more to so much more

See that gerbil, grab that tube

Let that little rascal…

Nibble on my asshole

Fack I just came again

Jesus Christ, this sub. We need a new album.

Fr! How many different variants are we gonna get of this?!

As many as I can think of to keep engagement in this sub higher than Shaq on his tiptoes whilst we await new music 🙂

I say we go back to photoshopping bizarre into the background of places he wasn't in the back. That was fun for a week. We could do that again for...a couple days.

This sub is just teens posting cringy stuff while us day oners wait and hope for actual news. It’s cringey as hell to be here in this sub.

Please let us have fun 🙏

Haha you can have fun, no harm no foul, but damn.

Bro don't take every post seriously, what do you want us to talk about we tackled almost every subject imaginable with Eminem

I'm pushing 40 and still getting skibidi. Bury me in downvotes for this crime.

Upvoting for skibidi

so teens posting is a bad thing? yall had your fun in your teens on myspace or sum, let us have fun now.

Haha, no. Fans of all ages. I was just saying, like dang. Fine I’ll take my ball and go home.

I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed

*screams*

“Listen, girly, surely you don’t want me to talk/About how I nutted early ’cause I ejaculated prematurely/And bust all over your belly and you almost started hurling/And said I was gross, go get a towel, your stomach’s curling”

Or maybe you do, but if I'm embarrassing me I'm embarrassing you, and don't you dare say it isn't true

Her: I already came twice. Me: You ain't gonna make me cum.

Wanted to comment this because same but I would be downvoted to oblivion for copying

It is a blessing and a curse

I’m all outta gas, not so fast, UGHH the gerbil just nibbled my ass

Lexapro?

No, just a vice gripping masturbator

Bruh is this all SSRIs? I take prozac (fluoxetine) and it takes like 40 minutes of aggressive fucking to cum.

Yes

Damn. Lowkey better than cumming in 5 minutes I guess.

I’m sorry puff I don’t give a fuck if this chick was my own mother I’d still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her and have a son and new brother 😳

I'm a little bit scared that this is somehow related to your last sexual encounter...

What's my name?

IIIIM slim shady

I’m back I’m back

At the same time and just say that it ain't mine. WHAT'S MY NAME??

you what?

"No rubber"

Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg, then bail

This chick’s only 15 years old‼️🗣️🔥🔥🔊🔊

Yo, look at that bush, does it got hair?

you shouldn’t take advantage of her, it’s not fair.

YOOOO 😭

sameee

He's only 6 years old

😯

Real

He kept chokin' me and I couldn't breathe

Young, dumb & full of cum / I’m backstage fuckin yer mum with the drummer of Sum 41 in the summer for fun

the ken kaniff skit on the MMLP

My dad’s gone crazy

Are you good😭

It was a joke I’m fine 😭 it wasn’t my dad

True, it was my dad

“We’re going outback. I want my dick sucked in the shed.”

Bet.

Will the real slim shady *PLEASE* stand up? We're gonna have a problem here!

duh duh duh duh duh duh, go go gadget dick

I just want my panus in your anus

“This don’t mean I’m gay”

But I do know one thing though, bitches they come they go

"Never" Surely he's said that word *somewhere* in his catalog that I'm just not thinking of, right?

In soldier at around 3:20 he says it

Thanks

I'll fuck anything that walks (come 'ere)

Slut, you think I won’t choke no whore til the vocal cords won’t work in her throat no more?

Her** palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy…

My whole squads in here

Pffft! Ah! Your finger just went in my ass! Ahh! That hurts! Take it out now! Ohhh~ wait a minute! Put it back in! In in in!

Brain dead like Jim Brady

It feels so empty without me

“I’m all outta gas, not so fast, uh your finger just went in my ass”

“Let’s just be friends”

Hey there little boys and girls

It was you, damn

True

Just bend over and take it like a slut okay ma?

i hate my stepdad

Ohh Damn!

Let’s get down to business I don’t got no time to play around, what is this?

Greatest

Uh… (I’ve never had one) (the lyric is from My Dad’s Gone Crazy)

[удалено]

Do you know what felch means?

Well then tell me would you rather get felched or do the felching?

sit your motherfuckin' ass down I swear to God, you run to that door I'ma put one in the back of your fuckin' head Now I'ma ask you this one time And the answer better be, "Yes"

I said hut-hut, hike your skirt-skirt

They make it all up, there’s no such thing.

Scarier than a white journalist in a room with Layurn Hill,human horror film.

Now you got egg on your face

My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips and if im lucky you might just give it a lil kiss.

I'm sicker than sperm cells with syphilis germs And I'm hotter than my dick is when I piss and it burns, I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach And vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it.

Surfin every channel, until i find hannah montanah, then i reach for the aloe and lanolin

She swallowed my fuckin leg whole like an egg roll 🤷‍♂️

Windows tinted in my ride when I drive in it

I was born with a dick in my brain 😞

“Some of us don’t get a second chance, but I ain’t blowing this one” Basically I never have had one.

I've created a monster

Condom on my dick of course it is

Sit down bitch, you mo..........wait, is this off the record?

"I just took an aids test and the doctor said to think positive"

Let’s ask Dr. Dre

I got the shit beat outta me, tripped, fell and blew out a knee/ popped it back in like and hopped up like fuck it best two outta three

Hi kids!

"I didn't know silicone was this soft"

Virgin

I even make the bi%&es I r@pe cum... not really though...

I'm cleaning out my closet

Be all you can be, cause once you make an instant hit, I'm tensed a bit and tempted when I see the sins my friends commit...

I dont remember how they got there, but i guess i must have killed em, killed em

there's no such thing

“Shove that shit in crooked and fuck that fat slut to death!”

I look around, it's just me standing in the mirror These damn walls must be talkin cause man I can hear em

We're gonna have a problem here..

Been doin' this for more than a quarter century, I'm just numb

“This looks like a Job for me! Now everybody just follow me! Cuz we need a little controversy Cause it feels so empty without me!”

I was born with a dick in my brain…fucked in the head.

Never had any. Too Chad to go for girls.

This bitch working at cleaners bringing me home diseases.

Swinging from Obie’s penis.

Go Go Gadget Dick!

I don't care if that bitch is my own mother, I'd still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside of her and have a new son and a baby brother...

I spit on those Ps before I eat'em

I said, "Nice rectum," I had a vasectomy Hector So you can't get pregnant if I bisexually wreck ya Hannibal Lecter into guy sex and I bet ya I tantalize ya and in less than five seconds I get ya

My own mother and seven kids from Columbine

"Bend over and take it like a slut ok"

Check out my ball hair, make sure it’s all there.

Yo obie,im sick (i hope u all get the hint)

I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like…

Sorry mama

My palms are to hairy to hide

Poppin Percocet, im a nervous wreck. And, i aint had a woman in years, my palms are too hairy to hide.

LETS JUST BE FRIENDS!!!

at the crib playing fortnite with your grandma

Oh yeah gurl run that game (done got pegged)