Thank you for posting this!
I wanted to share the fact that it's been a few months now since my estranged parent's last known attempt at contact, and that I think I finally sealed all of the cracks that allow any kind of contact to come through. Blocking has been done on all channels, and any mutual contacts have been made very much aware that I have no intention of changing my mind.
I've been feeling more peaceful, more present, more safe. I've been able to find longer and longer stretches outside of the rumination that I was under for years. My flashbacks surface very rarely now, and I now have the capacity to work through them in the moment. The healing is continuing, and I'm really starting to enjoy the process of discovering who I am outside of the tomb of enmeshment I had with my estranged parent.
To those who are still stuck in the fear, obligation, and guilt - please find hope in these words. It CAN get better, and it takes tremendous resolve to get to this point. You've made the right decision for you, and that's what matters the most right now.
I've been NC with my parents for a few months. I'm finally beginning to process my childhood trauma. I needed to take away the two voices that said everything that was done to me was either normal or discipline.
Had a wonderful Thanksgiving with the husband's relatives.
His brother hosted. They've got a talented cook in the family. Brined turkey is fantastic. The brining had garlic and rosemary in it; the rosemary was harvested fresh from their kitchen garden.
Returned home with a box full of pomegranates. Their tree produces more than they can eat so they wanted to give the extras away before the birds got them.
The husband also wanted to do Black Friday so I requested a few small items. One was a set of extra large pastry tips. The tips arrived this weekend. Now there's a month to practice. If all goes well this will mean homemade cream puffs and chocolate eclairs at the Christmas gathering.
It's been twenty years of estrangement. The first few holiday seasons were rough. If you're newly estranged and wondering whether it gets better, it does.
Wishing you a good Christmas.
If it's any help to mention, one of the things that got through the early Christmases of estrangement from EM was to create new traditions. Doing *something* was important.
Participated in a 5k charity fun run; the region has mild winters. Went to view the holiday display at a neighborhood that puts on a show. Helped to organize the holiday party for a nonprofit organization. Got a cross-stitch kit and made holiday decorations. Tried out new baking recipes.
People were surprisingly kind about extending invitations when they found out I was living alone. (This didn't happen every year but it was wonderful when it did).
Cheers. You deserve happy holidays.
Thank you so much. I have my husband and children to be with (thankfully). We made reservations for dinner and are thinking of new traditions. One idea is driving around and look at Christmas lights. Making a craft. Watching a movie. I love all the things you did to help you. I’m also thinking of volunteering at a food bank.
I have a great friend who invited us for thanksgiving when she found out we’d be alone. We decided not to go but really appreciated it. It was more than anything anyone in my “family” has done for me.
I hope your holidays are amazing. 😊
I'm getting ready to go to a con next weekend that's close to my spawn point. This will be my third time going to this particular con without making contact.
**Quick reminder** - EAK is a support subreddit, and is moderated in a way that enables a safe space for adult children who are estranged or estranging from one or both of their parents. Before participating, please take the time time to familiarise yourself with our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/wiki/rules/).
**Need info or resources?** Check out our [EAK wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/comments/xpkk59/eak_estrangement_resources_posted_here_for_mobile/) for helpful information and guides on estrangement, estrangement triggers, surviving estrangement, coping with the death of estranged parent / relation, needing to move out, boundary / NC letters, malicious welfare checks, bad therapists and crisis contacts.
**Check out our companion resource website** - Visit [brEAKaway.org.uk](https://breakaway.org.uk)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EstrangedAdultKids) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm showing up every day for my son in the ways that my parents never did for me. What a privilege it is to be his mom.
Thank you for posting this! I wanted to share the fact that it's been a few months now since my estranged parent's last known attempt at contact, and that I think I finally sealed all of the cracks that allow any kind of contact to come through. Blocking has been done on all channels, and any mutual contacts have been made very much aware that I have no intention of changing my mind. I've been feeling more peaceful, more present, more safe. I've been able to find longer and longer stretches outside of the rumination that I was under for years. My flashbacks surface very rarely now, and I now have the capacity to work through them in the moment. The healing is continuing, and I'm really starting to enjoy the process of discovering who I am outside of the tomb of enmeshment I had with my estranged parent. To those who are still stuck in the fear, obligation, and guilt - please find hope in these words. It CAN get better, and it takes tremendous resolve to get to this point. You've made the right decision for you, and that's what matters the most right now.
I've been NC with my parents for a few months. I'm finally beginning to process my childhood trauma. I needed to take away the two voices that said everything that was done to me was either normal or discipline.
Had a wonderful Thanksgiving with the husband's relatives. His brother hosted. They've got a talented cook in the family. Brined turkey is fantastic. The brining had garlic and rosemary in it; the rosemary was harvested fresh from their kitchen garden. Returned home with a box full of pomegranates. Their tree produces more than they can eat so they wanted to give the extras away before the birds got them. The husband also wanted to do Black Friday so I requested a few small items. One was a set of extra large pastry tips. The tips arrived this weekend. Now there's a month to practice. If all goes well this will mean homemade cream puffs and chocolate eclairs at the Christmas gathering. It's been twenty years of estrangement. The first few holiday seasons were rough. If you're newly estranged and wondering whether it gets better, it does.
Thank you. Newly estranged and scared to death for Christmas.
Wishing you a good Christmas. If it's any help to mention, one of the things that got through the early Christmases of estrangement from EM was to create new traditions. Doing *something* was important. Participated in a 5k charity fun run; the region has mild winters. Went to view the holiday display at a neighborhood that puts on a show. Helped to organize the holiday party for a nonprofit organization. Got a cross-stitch kit and made holiday decorations. Tried out new baking recipes. People were surprisingly kind about extending invitations when they found out I was living alone. (This didn't happen every year but it was wonderful when it did). Cheers. You deserve happy holidays.
Thank you so much. I have my husband and children to be with (thankfully). We made reservations for dinner and are thinking of new traditions. One idea is driving around and look at Christmas lights. Making a craft. Watching a movie. I love all the things you did to help you. I’m also thinking of volunteering at a food bank. I have a great friend who invited us for thanksgiving when she found out we’d be alone. We decided not to go but really appreciated it. It was more than anything anyone in my “family” has done for me. I hope your holidays are amazing. 😊
I'm getting ready to go to a con next weekend that's close to my spawn point. This will be my third time going to this particular con without making contact.
I loved my quiet, drama-free Thanksgiving! Just my wife, our roommate, and the critters having a mellow meal.
**Quick reminder** - EAK is a support subreddit, and is moderated in a way that enables a safe space for adult children who are estranged or estranging from one or both of their parents. Before participating, please take the time time to familiarise yourself with our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/wiki/rules/). **Need info or resources?** Check out our [EAK wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/comments/xpkk59/eak_estrangement_resources_posted_here_for_mobile/) for helpful information and guides on estrangement, estrangement triggers, surviving estrangement, coping with the death of estranged parent / relation, needing to move out, boundary / NC letters, malicious welfare checks, bad therapists and crisis contacts. **Check out our companion resource website** - Visit [brEAKaway.org.uk](https://breakaway.org.uk) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EstrangedAdultKids) if you have any questions or concerns.*